


A New Life

by roughknuckles, Saklani



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-02-27 09:15:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 334,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2687366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roughknuckles/pseuds/roughknuckles, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saklani/pseuds/Saklani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James Tiberius Kirk keeps his promises, even to those who betray him.  He promised to look after Khan's family, and he'll make sure right is done by them in the end.  But carrying the 72 cryotubes into space on the Enterprise to find the augments a new home needs to be done with the help of Khan himself.  And that is obviously easier said than done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Remeetings

**Author's Note:**

> This work is finished and VERY long, and we shall post in what we hope will be a reasonably speedy manner. 
> 
> This is a take on events post movie, with everything from canon left where it was ended. We hope you like it!

James Tiberius Kirk hated the traces of weakness from his death, which currently manifested as slight tremors in his hands. The serum from Khan's blood had restored him to health, but slowly and not without pain. A process which was not helped by the endless rounds of meetings and official hearings with Starfleet Command, not to mention hounding by the media.

After Marcus attacked the Enterprise and Khan destroyed a large chunk of San Francisco, Starfleet Command took a long, hard look internally and all hell broke loose. Marcus' roots went deep. Multiple admirals. Even more captains and commanders. Section 31. The incidents that started with 'John Harrison' blowing up the Kelvin Archive ended in the utter destruction of everything Marcus had been trying to create, but it gutted a Starfleet already decimated by Nero, the destruction of the Enterprise and the Vengeance's fiery crash into a city full of Fleet personnel.

On top of that, there was the issue of Khan Noonien Singh and his family, augmented humans all. They had committed terrible crimes in the past. Khan had committed terrible crimes in the present. And Khan had terrible crimes committed on him. It was enough to make the Brass, already strained the brink, want to forget the whole thing, stuff Khan back in his cryotube and hide them all away for eternity.

But Jim wouldn't let them. He'd made a promise and even if the bastard Khan had gone back on his end, he would keep his word. Khan had accompanied him, and they'd stopped Marcus. The rest, in terms of the promise, were details. He'd sworn to look after Khan's crew and locking them away for eternity didn't cut it.

Cue another round of endless meetings with the top Brass, this time in the bizarre position of arguing against his own instincts. He'd called in every favor and used his own position as the savior of the world and the one who brought to light (however accidentally) the corruption of Starfleet to work out a reasonable solution.

But after all of that, he was weary, hands trembling and knees honestly a little weak, and all he wanted was a year in bed. To fucking sleep. And instead, he was here, at a maximum security prison (which still didn't give him that much confidence), preparing himself to face a man who had crushed a person's skull with his bare hands at their last meeting. And he'd argued against freezing Khan forever.

It was perhaps debatable which one of them was the crazier...

Squaring his shoulders, he strolled across the bland gray floor and gazed through the clear partition between himself and the prisoner. "Well, this seems familiar," Jim drawled in his most obnoxious voice. He smiled winningly at the other man. "Hey there, Khan. How's it hanging?"

Singled out from the rest of the criminals modern society deemed dangerous, Khan was simply in a class of his own. No one else shared his hallway, and after learning the hard way, human guards were no longer used to bring him food or monitor him in person. Everything was pulled back, and Khan was handled with great care and distance between himself and the human lives he so easily broke. The room had been recently modified to accommodate him, a buzzing field of electricity kept him from breaking the wall of glass that made up the front of his cage. And all amenities had been stripped, so that nothing, absolutely nothing, not even a blanket, could be used as a weapon. Not that he was interested in sleeping. Or eating. But it was beginning to show.

Wearing shackles that bound his arms to his sides, Khan had only the use of his arm from the elbow to his wrist. Allowing him the free use of his arms and hands had proven dangerous. Within the first few hours of his capture, he had no reason to abide by the laws imposed upon him and fought back. Angry and vicious, Khan had paralyzed two men, and seriously maimed three others before excessive force was authorized, and he was brought down. Ever since, he was treated like the intelligent, wild animal he was. Caged, that seething rage rested just behind his eyes, awaiting the opportunity for his revenge.

His people were gone. Killed, murdered before his eyes. And it ate away at him, knowing he would never be able to reach down, pull them out of their sleep and hear their voices again. To embrace them, like brothers and sisters, sons and daughters. His beloved, loyal crew, his beautiful family. Instead, he held onto them with his perfect memory, muttering their names to himself some nights, keeping them close to his heart, never to be forgotten.

"Captain," Khan snarled. It was not said with respect, but mockingly. But the title was used just the same. "Have you come here, to end me?" He smirked, remembering his turn of the phrase. It was not an easy thing to do, but Khan would like to see him try.

"Nah, I've given up the executioner business. It wasn't really my style," Jim said and looked over the augment with as quick a glance from head-to-toe as possible. He didn't want to be caught lingering over certain well-developed parts of a madman. He wasn't really suicidal anymore.

"I wanted to let you know what was going on in the larger world. I've heard you managed to lose all of your privileges in here, which is quite a feat. I'd congratulate you, but I'm sure you'd just proclaim yourself better and be annoying about it." He flashed his most winning smile. "Still, being a murderous ass has kind of put you in a bad way. And didn't exactly make my task of getting you and your family forgiven eternal popsicle status any easier."

Shoulders slowly shifting, Khan looked much like one of the great cats, settling himself before the kill. "How. Dare. You." Khan growled, his upper lip twitching as if he couldn't wait to tear out Kirk's throat himself. "I did not expect such macabre humor from you, Captain. How DARE you use my crew against me, even now." He approached the glass, behaving as though it weren't even there, ignoring the threatening buzz of electricity that would repel him should he choose to move another inch. He gave Kirk a look of utter disgust. "What is it you want, atrocious child?" That's all Kirk was after all, a bratty kid with a starship. "Or is mocking my pain truly fulfilling enough for you?"

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Jim said. "You don't even know?!" He shook his head a little at the utter contemptibleness of other people and then faced Khan. "Spock had your people removed from their torpedoes before he allowed you to beam them to the Vengeance. They’re safe and sound in a Starfleet storage facility. All seventy-two of them." He paused to let that sink in, expecting more disbelief and anger.

Khan stared at Kirk quietly, reading the truth in his face. This was not another deception. This was not getting shot while on the same side. This was not another betrayal. This was a peace offering. At least Khan took it as such. "I was not aware. No,” he said, all too calmly. But in his heart, there was once again hope. He could save them. Even from behind these walls, trapped and caged. He could save them. He had to save them.

"What does your Starfleet intend to do with my people?" he asked, prepared to read any lie in Kirk. He did not praise the elaborate deception; the fact that it had fooled him was enough and did not requite any further acknowledgement.

Jim should have known Khan wouldn't even bother to thank him for the information. The man was good at showing arrogance, rage and haughty disdain, but a failure at managing anything else. Definitely not better at all things.

"Well, that's the thing," Jim said and scowled at Khan. "I keep my promises, even if you don't. I said I would see to their safety. I've just spent the last week of my life fighting to make sure you all don't end up sleeping for eternity, and in return, Starfleet Command has decided that I'm the one who is going to be responsible for them...and you. They've left the decision as to what exactly to do with you to my discretion...and your good behavior."

"I see," Khan said quietly, taking a step back. He had been in this position before. For the Admiral, he had to behave, give him what he wanted, for the sake of keeping his people safe. It seemed he would have to do so, again. Khan paced in the small room, his stride unnatural with his arms bound to his side. After a few moments he stopped and closed his eyes. "And what is your decision, Captain?" he asked, his tone calm. "If you alone have been found worthy to judge me and my people, what is your decision?"

Jim watched him with narrowed eyes and said, "That's not what I said. I said they left the ultimate discretion up to me. But how about we turn this around? What do you think would be fair?" He wondered what Khan thought being good meant. Did he believe Jim would use him like Marcus? Exploit his intellect and strength? Maybe demand other things? Jim felt ill.

Or maybe that was just the long-term results of being dead and resurrected using Khan's blood? And oh great, Khan didn't know about that yet. Later. One thing at a time.

"You might also want to take into account your behavior. Especially since your backstabbing nearly resulted in the death of all these people you hold so dear."

"Backstabbing? Tell me, Captain, who was it that alerted you to the treachery of your Starfleet? That the weapons you were meant to use, to start a war, were in fact the lives of my people? Who provided with you intelligence and safe passage onto the Vengeance? The backstabbing I recall, Captain, was your attempt to neutralize me in the middle of our mission." Had Kirk shown faith in Khan, would it have played out differently? Well, they would never know. But clearly Khan considered himself an honorable man, and the backstabbing comment did not sit well with him.

"Now, you chastise me for not showing loyalty towards you? Or Starfleet? Cannot you see why? I have been on the leash before, Captain. It did not end well for Admiral Marcus," he reminded him, testing Kirk's resolve to indeed go down this path with him. "You want me to behave, I shall behave. You want to see me submit, to see how far I will go for my people, I will submit. But do not treat me as the enemy, and I shall not regard you as such, either." Kirk had come in with the peace offering in the form of his beloved crew, so Khan set the terms of their peace.

"All of those things suited your purpose," Jim said, "and not a one was done without serious calculation on your part. Yeah, I had Scotty stun you- stun you, by the way- but only because I'd seen firsthand evidence of how you treat people. Your family means something to you, but the rest of us are as expendable as any other insect who happens to annoy you." He ran a hand through his hair and blew out a harsh breath.

"I don't want false loyalty or anything else you're not inclined to give. I just want you not to go around crushing people's skulls or shooting them down in cold blood. My definition of good behavior from you is pretty damned low. But it's about all I think you can manage. And I'm not even sure about that."

"That still doesn't answer the question of what to do with all of you," Jim said. "Were you anyone else, I might think of trying to reintroduce you to society. You certainly have the ability to learn and catch up with the time you have missed. But actually coexist...survey says no."

"No, I agree with you Captain." Khan admitted easily. "As you have read in your history books, and as you can see in me, my people no longer have a place here. We were bred for a single purpose, one that is no longer relevant. We are an endangered species, and integration would kill us." Khan drew in a deep breath, then let out a slow sigh, but still faced Kirk head on for this talk.

"I was not so poorly regarded before," Khan began, his tone much calmer, almost gentle as he remembered the past. "I had an extensive reach across most of Asia, and the people under me- humans," Khan clarified, "were taken care of. Protected." What had once been some of the poorest, most destitute countries, had found new life under Khan's rule. "But at the height of the Eugenics Wars, I saw where it was headed. So I made plans. I took my people and we left Earth. I stand by that decision. We are no longer meant for Earth." There was much history there, but Khan reined in the conversation to be more direct. "Let me take my people into deep space, to find our place once more, on our own terms."

"Ha, ha, not a chance," Jim said. "I enjoyed your sanitized version of history, though. I'd say you tell it to make it easier to sleep at night, except I don't think you give a flying fuck about the blood you spilled to earn your extensive reach and 'take care' of us poor little non-augments." He made some exaggerated air quotes around the words 'take care.' "Still, regardless of our pathetic little minds, we're not so inclined to just let you loose in deep space without any means of keep an eye on you and give you access to modern technology."

He made his own series of pacing steps around the room and then turned back. "I've got a list of about ten M class planets, all of them safe for human habitation and without any sentient or soon-to-be sentient lifeforms. My proposal is to find the one best suited to your needs, beam the cryotubes of your folks, you and the fundamentals you need to build a civilization and leave you be. We'll check in now and then to make sure you haven't reduced yourselves to scorched earth, but otherwise, have no contact between us."

They were stubborn, the both of them. Khan smirked in place of being annoyed with the other man. Kirk was comfortable with the biased storytelling of the history books, where as Khan was confident in his version, having lived it first hand. "Have a care with your words, Captain. I agree with you, that Earth and its people no longer need us; no longer need wolves to protect them from the other scary creatures in the night. But you did, once." Khan kept his eyes on Kirk, watching for any hint of understanding.

"You should feel relieved, that I have no desire to reclaim Earth." With seventy-two of his people, and himself as their leader, they could easily rain down fire and destruction upon Earth, and bask in its wastelands if they so wished. But that was not what Khan wanted, for himself or his people. He was not like the other 'augments' who were driven to extinction. There was a reason why he survived the war and the others did not. "But a home- a planet of our own." Khan let his gaze finally drift away in thought. "Yes. Yes, that would be good."

"No, Khan, what we needed was an enemy to focus on to finally unite us as one people, instead of thousands of different peoples," Jim said. "And you augments managed to fit that bill beautifully, didn't you? Thousands of years of us being at constant war and internal strife with ourselves, and after a few years of you all, we threw it all away for good. United as a planet. You must be so proud." He scoffed at the other words and tossed an annoyed hand at him. "We're not alone anymore. There are hundreds of other planets and other races now who align with humans."

A shiver overtook him for a second, and he took a deep breath, mustering strength again. "Fuck, right, enough of this. You're good with the planet. I'm good with the idea of a planet. Excellent."

Khan however was not fond of the continued use of the term, augments. It was a derogatory term to his ears and continued to rub him the wrong way. But he needed to play nice. He let Kirk's further comments on the issue roll off him to be ignored. Diplomacy was required. Patience. "Thank you, Captain," he said at last, now that it had been properly earned.

"I would like to review the selected planets as soon as possible. Geography. Natural resources. Proximity to other inhabited planets." Khan remained tireless in his efforts, prepared to move forward then to bask in this small accomplishment. "When may I be allowed these?"

"No time soon," Jim said. "As you may remember, you've had a few issues with your guards since you got here. Which is why you're in the modern version of solitary confinement, a punishment we don't really like to inflict on anyone. So, for the foreseeable future, you're going to be alone in here, without any kind of information. I might be able to get you a few books..."

Meantime, Jim had to work out a 'safe' way to move Khan and his people to a new planet, without giving him the opportunity to break free and try anything. Which Jim had no doubt he would, no matter what he swore. The Enterprise had several more months of repair ahead of her, as did Jim himself, if he were honest about his current health, so at least he would have time. He and Spock and maybe the old Spock, too, would have to design and run as many simulations of various scenarios as they could devise for this. Khan would try anyway, but at least the odds could be turned more in their favor.

"The issues I had," Khan said smoothly, "were because I thought myself alone. My people, gone. And Starfleet, my enemy." But he could temper his rage now and not despair in failing his people. "That has changed." Therefore, Khan would change his behavior. He would endure being left here alone and had a reason to play by the rules. A proper 'augment' would cut that weakness out of his life, be purely autonomous. But not Khan. His family were embedded well in his heart and his mind; everything he did, he did for them. It was love and it was loyalty, and Khan had no desire to be rid of it.

"Will you visit me, Captain?" Khan asked abruptly. "When you deliver your books? Or will our encounters remain sterile?" It was perhaps the safe way about things, but Khan was curious nevertheless.

Sterile. That reminds Jim.

"There's one other thing you should know," Jim said. "Not that I'm sure you'll care, but you might, so-" He paused and took a moment to try and find the words, but frankly, they would not come in any kind of smooth manner.

"Right. So, when you decided to destroy the Enterprise, you managed to kill me. Knocked the warp core out of alignment. I had to get it back so that the engines would work and the Enterprise wouldn’t burn up in the atmosphere. Exposed myself to massive radiation. Blah. Blah." He gestured in the same way he had when he'd dismissed the whole story about skydiving on to the Romulan's mining platform. "Anyway, Bones- Dr. McCoy, he managed to revive me with a serum made of your blood, which has also helped me heal the damage. So, yeah, that happened."

Khan did not mind that Kirk had not answered his question. His attention had been claimed by something much more intriguing. Khan tilted his head slightly, regarding Kirk with new eyes. "You." He seemed to both laugh shortly and scoff in one breath. They were quite alike, and now, they shared the same blood. But instead of being threatened by this, Khan seemed to draw comfort from it.

"You live and die, for them," Khan said, tone expressing that he held respect for this. "Now that you have my blood, I wonder, what will you do with it?" There were many moral implications to using his blood, but for now, they were left unaddressed. Khan licked his lips. "How does it feel, to have something of me, bring you to life?"

"Do with it? Nothing." Jim's voice was firm and strong on that one. Bones had nearly lost everything in his somewhat questionable decision to use Khan's blood, even if he had only taken enough of a sample to make a serum out of it. And it was very close to the same kind of human augmentation that had long been outlawed anyway. Extraordinary circumstances, but Jim knew the potential implications. Another mess they were trying to clean up. That and Spock going feral on the augment's ass. Jesus.

"I feel like they should have left me dead," Jim said, the weariness now in his tone. "But they didn't, so I just have deal with it and all the complications. However, I guess I figure it's fair that your blood saved me, after your actions killed me. Otherwise, I haven't really had time to dwell on it."

He already had a mass of mental and emotional issues, what was one more on top of the Kelvin, Tarsus IV, his step-father's abuse, the Narada, etc., ad naseum? Though dying and coming back to life... that was something he'd need to think on when he had a moment. Which wasn't going to be anytime soon.

"Sure, I'll bring the books. Any requests?"

"I find it fair as well," Khan said, expressing no displeasure that his blood had been taken from him without consent, only to be used to save Kirk's life. His approval was not required of course, but it helped, if there was indeed to be peace between them. Khan gave Kirk one last parting glance before he turned his back and retreated to the far end of his cage. With his back against the wall, Khan sank down to the floor to sit, in place of having a chair or bed to rest on. "I have missed over three-hundred years of literature. I must defer to your judgment, Captain." In the meantime, Khan would need to rest, and perhaps eat, now that he had a reason to.

And just like that, Jim was dismissed from Khan's presence. He took a moment to silently marvel at the way the other man could just do that and wondered if he would offer lessons. That made him snicker a little to himself.

"Not a lot of the last three hundred years of literature exists in paper format," Jim said. "I'll see what there is." He turned away from Khan and made for the door, mind already turned to his bed and sleep. The next day's calendar was free, and Jim's only plan was to turn off all electrical equipment (especially communicators) and spend all day between his very comfortable sheets.

 

*            *            *

 

The weeks passed by swiftly, full of both pleasant (watching the Enterprise be refit) and unpleasant (personally contacting the families of every crew member lost) duties. Almost everyone got some sort of commendation for their actions to stop Khan and Marcus, but Bones and Spock ended up with official demerits, too, for the events that occurred after Jim's death. But they were still his CMO and First Officer, so nobody got too upset about it all. And the information on how Bones used Khan's blood mysteriously vanished from Starfleet databases.

Jim wasn't the only genius level offender from Iowa for nothing.

His own health situation had improved, as he managed to get some rest and eat the disgustingly healthy diet Bones recommended. He'd begun to notice a few odd things, in fact, about himself now that he was back in tip-top shape. Tip-top seemed to be a bit (fuck it all) better than before. Not that he'd told anybody yet. He wasn't a damned augment, thank you!

Speaking of augments, Jim hadn't checked on Khan since their first meeting, except for a brief visit to drop off five books he'd scraped together for the man. This time, he had a free afternoon, another set of books and a PADD full of information that he figured Khan would appreciate. He strolled in to the augment's cell area and noticed that he had been granted a few sticks of furniture (including a bed, chair and table), but otherwise appeared the same. "Hey ho, mighty Khan. How is life?"

Reclining on his bed, Khan was no longer bound by his arm restraints either. He glanced up from the book Kirk had previously supplied him, reading it for the third time that afternoon. The 22nd time in total. The history of Vulcan was perhaps intended as a small jab, but Khan had devoured it nevertheless. "You seem well, Captain." Khan said coolly, finishing off the paragraph he had been reading before setting it aside and standing.

Khan had taken to eating and sleeping again and looked better for it. Though with Kirk as his only visitor, there was no one to notice the change. Looking Kirk over, picking out the small changes, Khan noticed that he carried himself differently, ever so slightly. But with the glass and electric barrier between them, it was difficult to get the read on Kirk that he wanted.

No matter the tone, Jim always heard the word 'captain' from Khan's mouth the same way the word 'son' had sounded like 'fuck-up' when his step-father said it. Still, he flashed his best shit-eating grin and said, "Sure am. Lots of rest and good food-" his insides twisted on the remains of salad and more salad Spock and Bones foisted on him for lunch "-make a new man out of me."

He noted the book in Khan's hands and said, "Brought you a few more books. I'm sure you've long since run through those. You could ask the guards for some more, you know. You might be allowed by now." He opened the small portal in the middle of the electric barrier and placed the new books and the PADD inside, before closing it just as quickly. "And I brought something else you might like."

Khan waited patiently as the books were delivered and retrieved them once they were on his side of the barrier. "You do realize, there is no one to ask. You are the only human face I see," he said as a matter of fact; it sounded relaxed, but there was something there, just under the surface that did wish for some contact. Even just to antagonize a guard or two. But then again, that was probably why none were permitted to have contact with him. "Thank you for these," he said, accepting the books and shuffling them in his hands to read each title one by one. It would help to pass the time.

"I could always ask Commander Spock to visit you," Jim said sweetly and without any remorse. He grabbed the chair that'd been left for visitors (once he'd made clear to Command that he intended to visit) and pulled it up in front of the barrier. Sitting down comfortably, he said, "The PADD's what you really want to look at. Call it a reward for good behavior."

Khan glanced back at Kirk with the smallest of glares. But he slipped the handheld display to the top of the pile and sat on the edge of his bed. It allowed the two men to sit together, with a respectable amount of distance between them, but also set an informal platform. "What is this?" he asked carefully, powering on the device. At first, he frowned, deep and concerned. Then with the pad of his thumb, he began to scroll through the information, the images, the faces... Kirk had given him what he desired most. His family. Right at his fingertips. The hardened heart of the monster everyone else condemned was visible just then. Slowly, he examined the information before him, taking his time with each.

"Bones has been monitoring their status and making sure all of them are as healthy as you can be when you're frozen," Jim said. "Whatever else Marcus did, he doesn't seem to have sabotaged any of the remaining cryotubes." He watched as Khan scanned through the PADD and marveled at the expressiveness of his face. Other than rage, Jim wasn't used to seeing anything except the mask Khan normally showed the world. He settled down to wait out Khan's absorbance with the information Jim had provided.

The information was very detailed. Khan could even read when some were having nightmares and others were in a peaceful resting state. It was information worth more to him then he would ever be able to express. It took some time before Khan spoke up again, as he gave each and every one of the seventy-two crew members before him equal amounts of his attention. "You have given me quite a gift," he said, not looking up quite yet, not until his features were properly neutral. "What do I owe you for it?" he asked, taking a breath and meeting Kirk's eyes.

Jim made a face at Khan and said, "You don't owe me anything. You really do think we're all a bunch of lowlife jackasses, don't you?" He sighed and folded his arms across his chest. "I'll try to bring you updates on a more regular basis. Things are calming down, so I should be able to visit weekly, if you want. I could send the reports through other methods, too. Dr. McCoy will continue to do regular checks on their status until we're ready to start our mission on the Enterprise."

Lowlife jackasses? Yes. At a bare minimum. But then again, Khan's first introduction to the future, to humanity, to Starfleet had been Admiral Marcus, who was not exactly a poster child for his generation or the people of Earth. The kindness was unexpected, and Khan believed there would still be some cost to it in the end. But he was willing to pay for it, also, so the cost was of little consequence. "You're care in his matter is appreciated, Captain," Khan said kindly. "I will not forget it." And that was perhaps a good thing.

"You're creeping me the fuck out," Jim muttered. He raised his voice to continue, "So, the Enterprise will be done with repairs in another few months. Apparently, we're putting in a few of the improvements you designed for the Vengeance. Sans the terrifying militarization aspect, of course. We're having a memorial service for everyone killed in the events starting from your bombing of the Kelvin Archive." He paused and mused on the jokes life enjoyed playing on him. "Once the ship is ready, we'll have to finish outfitting and manning her, which will take another month. We lost a lot of good people and a lot more cannot go on a five year mission, so getting the crew together is taking some time."

Though he was still listening, Khan scrolled back through a few of the images, focusing in on several crewmembers. He wondered what they would say, what counsel they would give for being in this position. He sighed deeply, believing for the most part, they would not approve. They were good, honorable and loyal to him; they would rather die themselves then see Khan diminish himself for them. But would they accept resettlement? Would that be enough to satisfy them? Would they feel Khan had kept their promise to him, or feel let down? "Five years is a very short commitment," Khan said absently, pressing two fingers to lips as he thought quietly to himself. "What is the problem?" After all, Khan was accustomed to the all or nothing philosophy.

Jim watched Khan the whole time he was speaking and then snorted at himself for rambling. Khan could give a rat's ass about any of it, couldn't he? It made Jim even less confident about this entire endeavor, and he vowed to review again the list of materials they were leaving the augments to start their own colony. Anything with even a hint of technology was out. And no easily mineable materials that could be used to manufacture anything, either.

Nothing. Nada.

"Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you'll be stuck in here for a few more months," Jim said. "We haven't worked out all the details of your transfer to the Enterprise. I'd like to be able to trust you enough not to just keep you locked in the brig the whole time, but right now, I don't really see any other options."

Khan however frowned at the dismissive snort. It was enough for him to put down the PADD and look at Kirk properly. "What crewmen do you need, Captain?" The question was direct, and most worrying of all, it was sincere. He stood and approached the glass, his stance solid and firm, just as he was on the issue. "I know you will not risk awakening any more of my crew. But I can do the job of twenty Starfleet officers. If you do not intend to put me under for the journey, then let me be of some use. What jobs do you need filled, Captain?"

"You expected to be put to sleep for the journey?" Jim asked. He considered that option with something near pleasure, but shook it off as impracticable. Khan would need to look over the planets and give them his opinion before they settled his family there. That was only fair to them, and he was still determined to do right by them.

He turned his mind to Khan's questions and then said, "I know you didn't hear the last thing I said, Khan. I can't trust you to do the job of one of my crew, let alone the twenty you claim to be able to fill the shoes of. And frankly, saying crap like that won't get you anywhere with me. I don't give a damn even if it's true."

"As a safety measure to yourself and the Enterprise, I did in fact expect you to put me under for the journey, yes. But you seem to wish for another option. As do I." Khan frowned at this, uncomprehending on Kirk's attitude. "I was attempting to offer it to you, in the form of my assistance." Khan looked down to his own hand, fingers slowly curling into a fist, then relaxing, only to repeat this exercise several more times. "Which you know is useful, but for the sake of your own pride, you seem unwilling to accept."

"Yes, you need to be awake to look over the planets and make sure that we settle you on a planet that you approve of," Jim said. "And that would ensure you can wake your crew properly and safely." He stood slowly, looking at the way Khan tensed and relaxed.

“You thought I was what, going to just pick the most convenient place, maybe some barely inhabitable rock, and dump you all there?" He scoffed and shook his head. "Of course you did. I'm a Starfleet officer and one of the scum you used to so caringly rule over. What else would I do? In fact, maybe I'm just going to blast all of your cryotubes into the first star we get to and watch them all burn up, cause that would be a satisfying way to get revenge, wouldn't it?"

Khan did not bother to correct Kirk on his slightly incorrect history, because right now his brain had focused in on one thing, only. Eyes locked on Kirk, there was an intense silence as Khan lifted his head, shoulders squared perfectly with his back. "Are you threatening me, Captain?" If it was intended as humor or irony, Khan did not appreciate it as such. A sickeningly cold shiver climbed up his back and Khan stood there tensely, both hands curled into fists, his rage building, just under the surface.

Jim stared at him for a long moment and then said, "You're an idiot." He turned away and headed for the door. "I'll bring you an update on your very alive and well crew next week."

It was a difficult comment to let pass, the threat had put a crack in the trust Khan had begun to hold for Kirk. His chest rose and fell several times quite dramatically, as if preparing to break through the barrier from a dead standstill. "Your word, Captain." Khan demanded as Kirk headed for the door. Without it, Khan's anxiety would build and bad things would more then likely come of it.

Jim whirled back around and stalked back to the cell, now in full high dudgeon. "I started this entire unhealthy endeavor by not taking you out with the torpedoes that held your crew. And despite everything that's occurred since then, I and my crew have protected them from harm. Including when it wasn't to our benefit. And after you smashed a starship into San Francisco and killed half my crew, along with myself, your crew was still left unharmed. So, you fucking son-of-a-bitch, I don't owe you my word for anything. Not that you'd believe it anyway."

The words barely registered with Khan. The evidence of the past hardly mattered, when the present was in question. His anger continued to quietly fester and seethe as the two men stared each other down. The trouble was, whether he knew it or not, Kirk had all the cards. He could, at any time, upon a whim, decide if they all lived or died. To make Khan suffer, to make him watch, or worse, not even tell him at all, but instead never return and leave him there to rot for the rest of his unnatural life, waiting for eternity with the smallest hope that his people were still alive. It was an imbalance of power, which did not sit well with Khan. "Give it to me, anyway. Give me your word."

"Fucking hell. Fine. You have my word. Again. I will do everything in my power to make sure your family is treated well and unharmed." Jim rolled his eyes. "And in return, I'll expect you to do everything in your power to escape and make off with them for your own purposes, meanwhile killing everyone who even inadvertently gets in your way."

"Stop." Khan frowned and held up a single hand as if to keep an overzealous dog from jumping up. "Use of such language holds different meaning for me, then it does for you." There was after all, over three hundred years difference, and in a way, it was like speaking a different language altogether. "Do not speak with such double meaning." It was the closest Khan would admit to finding their interactions confusing. "I have your word, that you will protect my people. You will not threaten to harm them, in truth or in a joking manner. Therefore, I will have no cause to retaliate. Is this understood?"

"You are un-fucking-believable," Jim said, completely unimpressed by the entire speech. "It's as if you can't get over the fact that you don't actually rule part of the world anymore. But fine, I won't threaten your crew in any manner whatsoever anymore in your presence, your majesty. Is there anything else I should or shouldn't be doing when I'm allowed the magnificence of your company?"

The frown lingered. Khan was indeed having difficultly understanding this man. He was much easier to read in rage and anger. "You joke, in place of having a real conversation. You are dismissive with your words, which is a pity...perhaps you are unaware of the power they hold." Khan folded his hands lightly behind his back. "It is a strange sort of mask. It makes me curious about what truth you are hiding."

"Really? I thought I was making my dislike of you perfectly clear," Jim said and then turned half away from Khan. He'd never really believed in words, thinking actions were a much more powerful form of communication. After all, actions were why he knew that Khan could not be trusted. And mask wearing? Seriously. Khan really was the king of that.

"Fine, then I'll be clear in a way even you can understand. Despite the fact that I know you are untrustworthy and plotting to escape and kill anyone who gets in the way of freeing your crew, I and my crew will do our best to safely relocate your family to a new planet to start a new life. And when you inevitably betray us, if and when we manage to defeat you, we will still make sure your crew is safely relocated to a planet to start a new life." His blue eyes blazed at Khan the whole way through the speech, as he stared directly at him, challenging him to find any lies in his words.

Khan tilted his head slightly. Kirk was still doing it. Was he incapable of speaking any other way? "And when I surprise you, by keeping to our truce? When I hold the advantage of your ship, or your crew, but do not take it? What then, Captain? Will you continue to put words in my mouth? Or actions in my hands, which I do not intend to take?" Khan drew in a light breath, which ended up being a soft sigh. "I do hope, with all sincerity, that we are able to see each other clearly, just once, before we part ways."

Jim had seen Khan with great clarity, despite the blood in his eyes at the time, as he'd used his bare hands to crush a man's skull. That was a very clear image that he'd never be able to burn from his brain. And he'd been played by Khan before, by tortured words and tears and regrets. There would be no slipping up that way again.

"If you continue with the good behavior," he said neutrally, "I'll bring you a list of the staple crops we'll be bringing along for your use. Along with some domesticated animals. Numbers, species, the general facts. Do you need any information about farming or is that also something you're already better at?"

"Horticultural techniques are unnecessary information." Khan answered directly now that they were back on topic. "Though, it may be unwise to introduce animals native to earth to an alien environment. Or is this perhaps one of the great leaps mankind has taken?" It was not exactly an area of history that Khan had focused in on during his time with Admiral Marcus. "However, I look forward to the information you have gathered and will weigh their function accordingly."

"Yeah, we're not exactly novices at colonizing new planets, thanks," Jim said coldly, tired of the augment's continuing theme of the inability of humans to manage anything for themselves. Not that there hadn't been failures...he felt a cold chill down his spine as the image of Tarsus IV briefly flashed into his mind. "Great. I'll bring you the information along with your crew update next week. Or maybe I'll send Spock. He can deal with you."

"No. Spreading your seed is what you do best," Khan said with some distaste for it, but did not instigate Kirk further for it. Khan shifted his gaze from Kirk to the barrier between them. Yes, escape was manageable. It would be instantly gratifying, rather then remaining in place, waiting. Day after week after month. It was an annoyance, to be held back, but the slow path was necessary. And he would be patient. "Then I shall wait, respectfully, for either."

"Respectfully," Jim said. "Yeah, right." He turned on his heel and walked out, wondering why he bothered with this. He should just send the information to Khan without putting himself through the aggravation of visiting. It would be so much easier.


	2. Cryotubes and Family

Jim had watched with something akin to cold satisfaction when the main supporters of Alexander Marcus' dream of a militarized Starfleet were all sentenced to life in prison, after their rank and membership in Starfleet were stripped from them. Section 31 itself was dismembered, publicly and violently, so that everyone knew that sort of organization would not be tolerated in the Federation. He thought Khan might be interested in seeing what was becoming of Marcus' allies, so he loaded that information into the normal PADD he brought to the augment (or sent with Spock) on a weekly basis.

The normal update on the crew's status was a bit more exciting reading this week, and Jim worried about Khan's response. One of the cyrotubes, which had seemed in decent shape just the week previous, began to malfunction in the middle of the night midway through the next week. Scotty, Bones and Jim, alerted by the emergency sensors on the tubes, all rushed there in the middle of the night to try and save the occupant. He wondered if Khan would approve of their newly designed cryotube, a combination of all three of their ideas. It had saved the woman, but still... They'd taken a hard look at the part that had given out on the old cryotube and found it was starting to wear badly on several others. They'd made plan to manufacture more of the new tubes to transfer the augments before their cryotubes did wear out. All of that information was in the weekly update for Khan.

Jim entered the visitor's part of the cell without comment and walked directly to the drop slot, depositing the PADD with his information, a couple of Russian books from Chekov and a PADD from Spock with updated information about the supplies for the new colony. He closed his side, pulled up the chair, sat and began to work on his own PADD, waiting for Khan to initiate any conversation.

The inquiries into Section 31 had been lovely news indeed. The people who had set out to use him for their own gain, had hurt him and threatened his family, were being held accountable. There was justice here, and the truth of it was, Khan was surprised. Instead of burying their mistakes under politics and rhetoric, it was pushed to the surface, publicly shamed, and then put down. It had been pleasing news. And Khan was looking forward to more of the same.

"Thank you, Captain." Khan said, exchanging light pleasantries as he accepted the books and the PADDs, which he automatically slid to the top of the pile. Opening up the familiar files, Khan began to flip through each, checking on each individual as was his usual habit. However, as he got to the woman, "Sofia-" He stilled, eyes darting across the displayed information and the reports that Kirk and his people had written up. Turning, Khan moved close to the barrier between them and held up the screen, which currently had the frozen image of her face and current status. "Sofia," he said, giving Kirk her name freely, wishing for him to see her as an individual, and not another 'human popsicle'. "She still sleeps?"

Jim looked up when Khan addressed him and set aside his PADD, having known the augment's attention would be caught by that piece of news. "Yes, she never woke, though Dr. McCoy thought we might need to try and revive her at least once. He prepared the proper measures...at least, what we believe are the proper measures, if there are any mistakes, corrections would be nice. One of the reasons we want to have you do the official wake up of your crew, beyond the potential suspicion if a Starfleet officer was in charge, is that you are much more intimately familiar with the procedure. Anyway, Dr. McCoy stabilized her, and Mr. Scott and I got the new cryotube functional, so that it wasn't an issue in the end. Her vitals read as normal again, and Dr. McCoy believes there was no damage done. Still, it was close. We're preparing additional new tubes to replace others that are showing similar wear."

"I've given you the specs and readings so far for the new cyrotubes. Mr. Scott, Dr McCoy and I attempted to improve on the original design, but we'll hear any suggestions you may have."

It was concerning news and weighed heavily on Khan. "Do not revive her. Keep her asleep. Keep them all asleep," he said going to the edge of his bed and sitting, elbows on his knees as he leaned forward opening up the attached files. It took him a while longer to read through what Kirk and his crew had done to compensate for the deterioration of the cryotubes. "This appears stable," he said after nearly an hour of silence. "But so did my designs, three hundred years ago."

Khan placed the PADD at his side, bowing his head down to place his forehead in his hands. He was trying to think his way around this, visualizing in his head the needed programming in place of having access to the tube or the technology himself. But instead, he was confronted with a very distracting roadblock that would not go away until addressed. "Thank you, Captain. Your diligence on this matter ... is ... impressive." It was difficult to admit, but he managed the compliment in order to refocus his thoughts.

The thanks sounded genuine, and Jim decided to accept them as such. After all, there was no sense dragging out the antagonism for no reason. "Well, we made a promise. Besides, it's against all of our beliefs to let someone die." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, wondering if Khan would ever understand that. It didn't matter who the other person was, what race or color or creed or species or anything, they didn't just let people die.

It didn't matter in the end. Jim would keep his word.

"Would you rest easier if we could bring you one of the new cryotubes to work on?" he asked. "Your designs were stable. Nothing lasts forever. And it's not like we're planning on leaving your people in there for another three hundred years. "

'Nothing lasts forever.' It was a truth Khan knew all too well. Dropping his hands away from his face, Khan kept his head down, his usually sharp eyes now far off with memory. Of Sofia and the others, the seventy-two that still lived. And then those who had not survived. Khan swallowed, then finally lifted his head to address Kirk. "If I may," he said, surprised by his offer, as he certainly would not turn it down.

"I'll have to clear it through a few channels," Jim said, thinking of the nightmare scenarios he and Spock would have to prepare for, as well. Still, he'd spoken to the Vulcan about the idea and received the high praise of 'logical,' so he knew his First Officer was in. "And it will be one of the empty tubes, of course."

Khan nodded, agreeing to this without argument. "My hands have been idle for far too long. Meanwhile, my people may die in the middle of the night, and yet, here I sit." There was disgust in his tone, but it was not directed at Kirk. "I will abide by the conditions and chaperones you wish to impose," he said, feeling that if he said it first, it would not instigate a fight as it would if Kirk brought it up how he would be controlled under the circumstance. It showed willingness and good faith on his part, and hoped it would be taken as such.

Two choices here. Roll your eyes and make a smartass comment about how of course Khan would abide by it (or claim he would), what else was he going to say? Or swallow the words and accept Khan's statement at face value.

Being adult was hard...and kind of boring.

"I'll have Mr. Scott prep one of the tubes to be transported here. He'll be here, too, since the design is mostly his. I think the two of you will be very interesting working together." He actually grinned a little at the idea of the brash Scotty and the irritable Khan. But they were both brilliant with engines and machines, if not people.

It was not a natural position for someone like Khan to submit. He was a leader, a warrior, fierce and brilliant and uncompromising. Except that he had to compromise these days, and it was not easy for him. But it was necessary. And he hoped, should his people come to learn of it that they would not look down on him for this weakness. In his own way, Khan too found some pleasure in it. "Hm." He sat upright now, but appeared relaxed, "Mr. Scott is quite ... interesting." There was no sense in complimenting the man if he was not present to see how he would react, but it would come. "I look forward to working with him."

Jim cast him a look, not sure what to make of the first comment and somehow doubting the second. Still, his curiosity was peaked. "The transwarp that you used to beam yourself to Qo'noS, that was his equation. I know you modified it to suit your purposes, but the original concept was his. Did you know that? I mean...had you heard the name of the person who first came up with the concept before you began your own work?"

"Understand, Captain, in my time there was no such thing as warp speed. Hence, the need for cryotubes for deep space travel. But the concept was shared and imagined." Khan smiled briefly, "It was a pleasure to come across Mr. Scott's equation. It was the first thing to make sense to me in a long time." The language of science, mathematics, physics, those were the things Khan conversed in best. "It is quite progressive, talented work. And I enjoyed using it as a foundation for my own vision."

"Yeah, it's probably a good thing there was no warp then," Jim said, imagining space filled with power-hungry augments. The war with the Klingons would have happened years ago, for good or ill. "Scotty is a genius. And I'm sure he'll spend a good deal of time yelling at you for hurting his gray lady and messing around with his work. That'll be fun." He always did enjoy Scotty in a rant, except when it was directed at him. Then he wanted to shrink through the floor.

"I have no doubt that he will." Khan said calmly, accepting that Mr. Scott would share choice words regarding the state of the Enterprise, among other things. "He is a brave man." It was an easy observation to make, and there was no shame in addressing it. "He has my respect," Khan added casually, taking up the PADD once more and setting it in his lap to continued to read over.

"Well, at least somebody does," Jim said doubtfully and noted Khan return to his PADD. "Am I dismissed then? Everyone else has been fine, so I don't think you'll have any further questions for me. Oh, and was I correct in thinking you can read Russian, too?"

"Dismissed?" Khan raised his gaze and stifled a short laugh. "Captain- you do not even address me by my proper name or title. I am the one bound here, with limited rights. Whereas you are free to come and go as you please. Under what authority do I have to dismiss you?" Khan scoffed, then added, "Both speak, and read."

"Doesn't usually stop you from making it clear when I'm no longer needed or wanted," Jim said, "which is exactly after you've gotten all the information of interest to you that you think I'm going to impart. It's really kind of amusing, once I got over being annoyed and insulted by it. Something you do the way the rest of us breathe, dismiss those beneath you, I mean." He just nodded at the last. "Figured. Uhura will enjoy insulting you in a multitude of languages. By the way, try and be kind with those books, huh? They're irreplaceable basically, and Chekov has the most guilt-inducing sad-face I've ever seen."

Looking to the books, Khan only now realized that they were not just everyday, antique copies. They were in fact, personal, private, perhaps even cherished editions owned by Kirk's crew that the man had somehow collected and given to a prisoner. "I shall be gentle with the books. As well, with your crew," Khan said, meeting Kirk's gaze, unflinching from it. Without needing to look at what he was doing, Khan placed the tips of his fingers on the top of one of the books as if to illustrate his point. Those hands, that could crush a man's skull, were also capable of great kindness.

Jim eyed his movements dubiously and said, "Yeah, I trust you more with the books," in his driest tone. "I think you actually believe they have some value." He allowed that to sit for a moment and then said, "I know you already devoured the information about Marcus' cronies and Section 31. If we missed anyone in the investigation, now's the time to let us know. We're trying to make a clean house...as clean as possible anyway." He paused again to gaze at Khan. "I confess, I am interested to know what you think of the judgment against the main allies of Marcus."

Khan considered the question very thoughtfully. He had his own, very personal reasons to hate each and every one of the men and woman under Admiral Marcus's command, but his view was not so narrow to condemn them all to death. That had been for Marcus alone, and that had been achieved. "The judgment is fair," he said at last. "They proved themselves treasonous to the ideals your Starfleet has set in place. The Federation, as I now understand it," he said with the small disclaimer, only recently becoming acquainted with it's true purpose, "is to explore. Seek out new life and civilizations. To unify cultures and species, with respect to all forms of life. Initiating war with the Klingons is contrary to those beliefs. It is a step backwards, to the us versus them mentality of which lives are valuable, and which are not. It is a twentieth century philosophy, which has no place in your society."

Jim smiled faintly at the words and said, “Respond to an uncivilized threat in a civilized time,” very quietly to himself. “And you, do you believe that the Federation’s goals, their true goals, are worth the pursuit? There will inevitably be other races like the Klingons, those who practice war with the ambition to take over other planets and conquer other people. Do you think we should be more prepared for those kinds of threats?”

"The aims of the Federation are worthy goals. Clearly it is an ideal that transcends race and species. However, with many belief systems, not everyone will share it. Not everyone wants to be conquerors, Captain. But some do." Khan sighed. "Are you asking for my tactical insights regarding the Klingon Nation?" He had been down this path before with Marcus, and would do so again with Kirk if asked, but did not relish in it.

“No, I’m asking a philosophical question with practical implications,” Jim said with a frown for Khan. “The crap Marcus had you working on...that was way beyond the bounds of where I believe Starfleet and the Federation should ever go. That said, I’m not stupid enough to think that if we’re not prepared to defend ourselves that things couldn’t go badly out there in the black. There will always be those who can outgun us, though, so there’s a limit to how much we should pursue weaponry. Maybe defense is the more important thing to focus on- shields, faster ships, better maneuverability at close range…” He shrugged and said, “I was just making conversation, Khan. I guess that’s kind of a waste of time with you. Everything’s a strategy or part of some scheme. Nothing just is what it is. Must be a tiring way to live life.”

"I do not mind the conversation, Captain. I was only wishing to clarify your goals for asking." Khan folded his hands together in his lap, perhaps a little relieved that Kirk did not want the same things Marcus had. "So in answer to your question, you prepare for those threats, by making allies, as you already have. As a United Federation of Planets, you are a show of strength and unity, without needing to be a bully. That is a very fine weapon. You are a hundred, a thousand different races and cultures under one banner" something Khan was well familiar with, "it is enough to make many mighty nations feel small to in comparison."

“That is part of the goal, I suppose, of the Federation,” Jim said. “The ability to help maintain peace through as much space as is possible for one organization.” He shifted in his chair and switched the subject back to a previous question. “But you never did tell me, if we’ve caught everyone that you knew to be involved in Marcus’ schemes. I know he treated you badly and kept you in the dark about a lot of things, but I also know you must have defied him in as many ways as possible, dug into his records and the records of his colleagues. You discovered Thomas Harewood’s secret and used it against him to blow up the Kelvin Archive. You must have uncovered as many names as you possibly could as part of your research. After all, knowing your enemy is half the battle.”

Unfolding his hands and sliding them down his thighs to rest on his knees, Khan inclined his head slightly, then stood. "To my knowledge, Captain, you have everyone who was ever remotely involved. Some, more then others," he said coldly, but did not go into detail. "What is worrisome however, is that fact that there were so many people involved. For Marcus to find so many, ready to allow fear to control them- for your peaceful society to spawn so many warmongers, now that is concerning. And that is the battlefield your Starfleet should be addressing first."

“Fear is a powerful motivator, Khan, as you well know,” Jim said evenly, not liking the ice in Khan’s voice and echoing it with his own. “And Marcus used his position precisely to pick people for each spot on his roster. The warmongers, the fearful, the power hungry and the weak-willed. For all that you deservedly hate the man, I would think his strategies weren’t so unfamiliar to you.”

At those words, Khan breathed sharply out of his nose. Turning his head from Kirk with a sneer and look of disgust. "I am familiar with the strategies, Captain. But they were not tactics that I used, in my day. Unlike my enemies, a society born of fear was never my goal." Khan turned his back to Kirk, hands folded behind his back as he took another breath. "Yes, I am ruthless in battle. And yes, killing is very easy for me. But that's not the whole of me. I am not so one-dimensional. I was compassionate and fair, too. And it is that difference that has made me, and those in my care, survivors." Khan swallowed, then dropped his hands to his side before turning back towards Kirk. "Not that what I say will alter what you hold to be true about me. I am perhaps easy to demonize, considering our history. But do try, to rein in your assumptions about me."

“Yes, Mr. ‘I’m Better At Everything,’ I’m the one of the two of us guilty of prejudgment. Because I can’t see you thinking that I’m going to betray you and act exactly like Marcus every time you look at me,” Jim said. “I am curious about one thing, though. When we were doing the space run between ships, why did you save me? There was no good reason to, and it certainly wasn’t out of love for me.”

At the time, Khan had been simply stating a fact. He was better. He was genetically engineered to be so, and that was a fact. Though, reminding Kirk of this hardly seemed like a fight worth having. So instead he offered the smallest of smiles. "That is the question, isn't it," Khan hummed, approaching the glass now, looking not just pleased, but maybe even playful. "I could have flown in, on my own. Taken out the crew, on my own. And flown that ship away, on my own." It had been designed to be crewed by one person, if necessary. Khan's design, for a reason. Marcus had it constructed for himself, but Khan had every intention of flying away with that ship himself from the moment Marcus had him start work on it. "So-" he continued to draw it out, almost teasingly. "why not let you get tangled up in space debris? Or crash head first into the side of the Vengeance? Yes, Captain, that is the question."

“Well, there was no guarantee that Scotty would let you in without me,” Jim said. “And you hadn’t gotten the opportunity yet to beat the crap out of me, including kicking in a few ribs, so where would be the fun in missing that?” He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, before saying, “And yeah, I’m sorry I had Scotty try and stun you, but considering you then fired against the Enterprise, I’m only so sorry.”

Khan opened his mouth to speak, but then sighed, closing his mouth with a slightly pained expression. "I am accustomed to Starfleet betrayal," he said simply, though shook his head slightly as he added, "I wonder, sometimes- if that day could have gone any differently. I would have killed Marcus, regardless," he said, being honest about that very simple fact. "So perhaps, nothing would have changed in the end. But, I do not hold it against you, Captain. You did not have all of the information and you were playing it safe."

“Well, thanks for that…” Jim scowled at the idea of Khan holding something against him, as if he had been the one deeply in the wrong. “Frankly, I understand you hating Starfleet, but the way you just hurt and kill people...I can’t pretend to understand that. Blowing up the Kelvin Archive, after using a man’s dying child against him, firing on a room of unarmed people, shattering Carol’s leg, firing on the Enterprise and then smashing a huge part of San Francisco...and all of it without even a second thought.” Jim shifted uneasily in his chair. “I was so angry at you. I hated you so much for killing Admiral Pike. I wanted to destroy you. But I didn’t. I couldn’t kill you without at least the benefit of a fair trial. It would have destroyed me. But you- you did all of that without hesitation.”

It was hard not to hear what Kirk considered a criticism, as a compliment, so Khan nodded and admitted to them, "Yes, Captain. Without hesitation, without a second thought. As is my nature." It was efficient, whereas doubting himself was not. "I am a lion. Long since extinct and displaced from my time. I do not expect you to understand it, but these are the traits of my species." And finding value in him, and his people would go a long way, just as humans had come to find the value in other alien races.

“Wonderful,” Jim said. “Basically, what you’ve just admitted is that I and all of Starfleet can never trust you. Anyone who is not an augment is by definition disposable. And yet, you feel justified in raging against Alexander Marcus for feeling the same way about you. You’re a remarkable hypocrite, if nothing else, Khan Noonien Singh.” He sighed and stood up, thinking that Khan’s words didn’t really change anything, except to deepen his worries about carrying such a man on his ship. He didn’t relish having to leave Khan permanently locked up in the brig for the months it might take to find a planet for the augments, but he didn’t see any options.

"Captain." Khan kept his tone calm, but also a little cold too, without the warm, sometimes playful and taunting purr. "I thought we were having a pleasant conversation. And now, you are entrapping me with words I did not actually say." Some days Kirk could really try his patience. "Do you mistrust the Vulcans, because they do not weep? No. You show understanding that all are not like you. There is respect for that difference. Vulcans will be true to their nature, as my people will be true to theirs. It is not the responsibility of either of our species to accommodate you." This was truly as polite as Khan could phrase it. "If you do not wish to trust us, to keep us as allies, that is your decision to make. But my war with Starfleet is over, unless a new injustice is imposed upon us, or more of my people come to harm due to Starfleet treachery." And they had already seen what had happened when only Khan was their enemy. To have seventy-two others just like him enraged with Starfleet would certainly do them no favors.

“No, but I mistrust Romulans because they do not see value in anyone outside of their own species,” Jim shot back. “I don’t want to actively pursue war with them or hunt them down for that, but I’m not going to give them free rein with my ship or crew. Or trust them even in the slightest. I believe you’d call that prudence. Or maybe that’s only when it applies to you. After all, it is in your nature to think I’m worthless.” He snorted and turned away, walking to the door. “It’s a good thing for you that most of the Federation doesn’t share your nature, isn’t it?”

Khan growled, his restraint wearing thin. "Genetically engineered to be better, does not mean I find others worthless! Do your research, Captain. My role in the Eugenics War was not to spread my seed-" he said with great distaste. "There is a reason why your society today has such a high Indian and Chinese influence. Those were just a few of the cultures under my care, preserved and protected against those who did see them as a lesser species, to be put down. I might be an animal, Captain, but I am not that sort of monster." He growled again, annoyed that Kirk was still getting his history wrong, still confusing him with the other 'augments' who were decimating the world for power.

“Unless the right set of circumstances comes up and then you are just that sort of monster,” Jim said. “As your actions made perfectly clear.” He rolled his eyes at the notion of being under Khan’s care somehow being beneficial to everyone. “Yeah, next week is probably a Commander Spock week. He, at least, is too logical to waste time trying to actually talk to you. He’ll have all the usual stuff…” He paused and frowned, door open in front of him. “We’ll update you sooner about- Sofia. Make sure you know she’s still all right.”

There was a difference. Kirk didn't understand. And it was proving fruitless to try to teach him. But Kirk had made his position clear, regardless. They were not enemies, nor were they to be allies. They were to be neutral to one another. "Good day, Captain," he said, though his tone was lighter now, no longer a growl. He was clearly grateful about Sofia, and even that Kirk would call her by name. It made them less likely to be treated as creatures in a tube, and more like individuals.

 

*            *            *

 

Jim strolled in to Khan’s cell area unannounced, flanked by four Security officers, two of them Gorn, one a Cordarian and the fourth, a Betazoid. She glanced over Khan quickly and nodded at Jim, assuring him she could read Khan clearly. He smiled at her and then opened his comm unit. “All right, Scotty, beam over the package.”

In front of them, between Khan’s cell and the Security team, all of who drew their weapons, the newly designed cryotube materialized with Scotty beside it. The engineer put down a set of carefully selected tools on top of the tube and then shifted to the other side, away from Khan. “I dinnae like this, Captain,” he told Jim with a baleful glance at the augment.

“Yeah, I know, Scotty,” Jim said, “but he does have more expertise with these things then we do. And we don’t want any more difficulties with them.” He clapped his Chief Engineer on the shoulder and then strolled over to the cell controls. “So, I guess I don’t need to tell you, Mr. Singh, that nothing good will happen if you try anything? But I just told you anyway. Otherwise, have fun finding fault with the mere human design of the cryotube. I’m sure you’ll do better.” He programmed the cell to open as soon as he was on the opposite side of the tube again, whereupon, it opened to allow Khan out.

With the unannounced show of force, Khan stood up from where he had been sitting, arms at his sides and facing Kirk, watching him without comment. He let it play out. But in place of his instinct to fight, his curiosity was peaked instead. A sharpness returned to his eyes as the cryotube was beamed down; a project. This was good.

Having been caged for so long, Khan was wary. He approached where the barrier normally separated himself from Kirk, but the hum of electricity was gone, so he put another foot forward, which in a way felt exciting to do. He was walking where he had previously been denied to walk. In one slow, measured breath, Khan looked to Kirk first and inclined his head slightly by way of thanks. Then locked eyes on the Betazoid, not familiar with her race first hand, but familiar with her technique and what she was up to in his head. An early warning system, to make sure if a foul thought began to slip into his head, the others would have time to respond. He gave her a little smile.

Taking his time to stretch his legs, Khan walked around the cryotube, one hand on the metal, keeping contact with it at all times as if it were a living thing he did not wish to spook, but become familiar with instead. Ignoring the tools at first, Khan popped open an access panel and began to look over the wiring.

Scotty watched him like a hawk, eyes narrowed in annoyed fascination with the way the augment looked over his work. Well, it was only partially his work, really, but like any project Scotty worked on, he’d put his heart and soul into the design and creation. He wanted to build the best, damned cryotube ever, even if they were for the short-term use of Khan’s family only. After a few moments, he muttered, “This is intolerable,” and marched over to begin running his own series of tests on the device. “Ye know I don’t think well of ye,” he said to Khan, “even if you do have a brilliant mind. You blew a bunch of holes in my lady and you made me watch a good friend die-”

“Scotty,” Jim said, really not wanting to get into that discussion. He had nightmares enough without having to talk it all over again, at least not outside the damned counseling sessions Bones ordered him to endure.

Scotty huffed and said, “But the Captain here says ye get a chance to look over our design and make sure it’s up to the test. So, I’m here to answer any questions and work with ye. But I’m nay going to like it.”

As Kirk had warned him ahead of time, Khan expected the criticism and instead of being taunted into a fight, he politely nodded to Scotty. Something in him was still scared and angry, but that was not what Khan focused on. He was quite brave, and quite brilliant. Those were the things Khan respected. "I shall not insult you by finding fault where there is none," Khan said calmly.

Ignoring the security guards, who were utterly irrelevant to him, Khan prompted Mr. Scott with several lines of questioning, all of which seemed to go over the heads of everyone else in the room. Though it was likely not enough to make Scotty happy, for Khan, it was a relief to be speaking in a language he better understood. The two men disagreed, and agreed, then disagreed again. But for the entire exchange, Khan remained calm for it, allowed Scotty to vent his frustrations with him, only to come to the conclusion Khan was pressing for, on his own.

After some time, Khan stood and regarded Kirk without comment. Without the barrier between them, his senses were being taunted by his presence. Khan could smell himself, his blood, his essence in Kirk. It was difficult to ignore, and similarly, difficult not to comment on, but he managed restraint, even if his eyes did wonder to the other man from time to time.

Jim understood most of the conversation, though some of the most technical parts were above his level of knowledge. He filed them away to look up, though, always happy to spend some time learning more about technology. Especially this kind of technology. Being on top of it would help keep him on top of Khan, which was where he had to be for this to work.

He noticed how the augment handled Scotty and was grateful the engineer was too absorbed in the work to notice. If it had been Sulu or Bones or dear God, him, who Khan treated that way, there would have been fireworks. Jim loathed being handled.

When Khan paused and looked at him, Jim raised both eyebrows and asked in his most mocking tone, “Something I can help you with, Mr. Singh?”

Kirk was such a child. And though Khan might momentarily delight in embarrassing him, he felt it would do little to keep the uneasy truce between them. So he shook his head once and looked away. With his hand on the cryotube, Scotty and Khan came to several agreements regarding changes, but even so, the man lingered. He knew if he gave his final approval now, then Scotty would leave and he would have to go back to his cage. So instead, he offered a few kind words to help stretch out the time. "Your work, Mr. Scott, and attention to detail on this project is quite exceptional. After implementing the minor changes we discussed, I have every confidence that you and Dr. McCoy will be able to safely transition my people into this new accommodation." His hand lingered on the piece of machinery, imagining the faces of his people just inside. "Thank you."

Scotty stared at him and then mumbled a thank you, not really comfortable getting complimented by a mass murderer. He glanced at Jim and said, “Permission to beam this back to the Enterprise, Sir.”

Jim nodded and said, “Granted, Mr. Scott. Mr. Singh, I’ll have to ask you to kindly step back into your cell now.”

With his eyes down to the floor, Khan's lip twitched. Not with anger however, but with something almost pleasant or perhaps amused. Kirk had begun to use his proper name, and to him, that was a sign of respect. Finally. So in turn, Khan proved himself obedient to the rules and stepped back into his cage without argument. He would have to endure it a while longer. Facing Kirk, the guards, and the Betazoid, Khan remained still, giving the others time to assess the fact that he would not fight them. Not today. He had no reason to.

Jim stepped forward and turned back on the cell’s barrier screen, aware of the Security officers relaxing behind him. He waved them away with Scotty, who beamed himself and the cryotube back to the Enterprise. The Security team left via the main door, and Jim followed them.

But in a moment, he was back, carrying a bag and a steaming reusable Starfleet thermos. He opened the portal in the barrier and deposited the bag and thermos inside, before closing it so Khan could access the items. Knowing the utter boredom of the diet served in the judicial system, he had fetched Khan a selection of the most authentic (and spiciest) Indian food from his favorite restaurant. He was curious as to what Khan would think.

Meanwhile, he pulled up a chair and opened his PADD, full of paperwork for the last details of preparations for the Enterprise’s departure. His girl was finally repaired and ready for a five-year mission into the black. And everyone, Jim most of all, was eager to get out there.

The gift was unexpected. Especially since Kirk had not said anything. Khan regarded it with suspicion. Not because he felt Kirk had any intention of poisoning him, but because it was one more thing he would have to show gratitude for. Like some sort of exotic pet. The rage was there again, just under the surface. But instead of kicking the food and letting out his anger and frustration, Khan sank to the floor and proceeded to open up both the thermos and the bag of fresh food. After a few bites, Khan closed his eyes and imagined taking this meal among friends, remembering a time when he had been a prince to his people, loved, and loyal to.

“So, is it authentic?” Jim said. “Mrs. Deshpande is always saying her food is the most authentic Indian food in San Francisco, and I have no reason to doubt her word, but I can’t be sure. So I figure you’d know, right?” He frowned when he got to the supply list, from which he needed to cut some two tons of items. And the list currently contained of all the items the head of each department felt were essential. It was up to himself and Commander Spock to whittle it down to what they could carry. “And her chai is the best I’ve ever had. And I like myself some chai.”

"I can hardly remember what food tasted like from back then." Which was odd, since Khan had a flawless memory. "But the recipe is authentic, well balanced ... and satisfies a craving I did not realize I had," Khan answered, slowly opening his eyes to eat his meal with Kirk. Even though they sometimes rubbed each other the wrong way, Kirk was a good man, and represented what humanity could be, quite well. And it was good that Khan was able to see it, from week to week over the last several months of his most recent incarceration.

“Yeah, food in jail sucks,” Jim said, remembering well his own incarcerations. “Especially when San Francisco is just outside, full of all the cuisines of this world and several hundred others.” He shook his head and then said, “I’m hungrier than I used to be. I don’t care much for it. I guess having better senses makes it somewhat worth it.” He looked up from his PADD at the other man. “I felt you looking at me. You hadn’t stared like that before.”

"The removal of the barrier between us made all the difference, Captain." Khan said at first by way of explaining. He tore a piece of warm naan bread in half and began to eat small strips of it before clarifying. "In your scent, I could smell myself. My blood, intermixed with your body." Khan smiled slightly, "I did not wish to be rude, by bringing it up when your peers were still here. But it was quite pleasant to experience."

“Pleasant?” Jim asked and frowned a little, all his attention now on Khan. “Huh. That’s not what I would have expected. At the very least, I would have thought you’d find it weird. Or possibly, insulting. But weird. I mean, I’m not supposed to be your kin, but through the miracle of science...well, here I am.” He looked thoughtful and then shrugged.

"Not a miracle, Captain. Carefully engineered science." Khan corrected. "As you would a starship. Designed in a lab, as were the rest of my kin. Which makes you- as far as my senses are concerned- my family just as much. An association you will no doubt detest. But for my part, having been separated from my crew for so many years now- it is indeed pleasant to have something tangible and familiar."

Jim blinked a few times at the idea of being considered family by Khan and then said, “The association is not something I detest. I detest your casual disregard for life, and that’s not going to change.”

Despite the last statement being the same subject they would likely bicker about until the day they parted ways, Khan smiled at the comment. "No family is perfect, Captain. And sometimes, in place of having one in the traditional ways, we create one for ourselves." And right now, due to a variety of circumstances, Khan would consider Kirk, family. He would see a connection between them, now that he had sensed it in his very blood.

Jim arched both eyebrows at the smile, which frankly, creeped him out a little bit. The expression looked so wrong on Khan’s face. “So, what does that mean to you, exactly? I mean, being a part of your family?”

"Well." Khan purred and moved closer to the barrier between them. As predatory as he was, this was somehow more intimate. "It accords you the same benefits and rights as my crew. You may, respectfully, question my methods, and offer counsel or observation. You in turn will be protected- as would your mate and offspring, if you have either." Khan kept his sharp blue eyes on Kirk as he added, "It means we are equals." Individual differences aside, all his people were unique, but still equals.

Jim just snorted at the notion of being allowed to ‘respectfully’ question or make comments and be afforded protection, not to mention the deigning to now be considered equals. “Well, this member of your family ‘respectfully’ tells you where you can shove it.” He flashed his biggest, cockiest, most obnoxious smile. “On a different note, however, the departure date for the Enterprise is about two weeks off. We’ll be loading the cryotubes and you as some of our last preparation before taking off. Since you are going to be with us for a while and I’m not a complete jackass, please fill out the requisite forms to request some furnishings for your cell. I might even consider a privacy screen of some sort...”

What he didn’t tell Khan and wouldn’t be telling him unless the man betrayed them somewhere along the way, was that only thirty-six cryotubes were going with them. The other thirty-six were going to be placed in a secure, hidden location until Khan and the first batch were safely ensconced on their new planet. Kirk, Spock, Uhura and McCoy had a complex set of algorithms that each had to send to Starfleet on a weekly basis to inform them that things were going smoothly. With backups in place, of course. If the signals stopped, Command would be alerted. Similarly, if anything went wrong due to some action of Khan’s, any one of them could also send a simple code to alert Starfleet Command. If either happened, the cryotubes would be placed in what had been termed a ‘deep freeze,’ basically making the awakening of their occupants impossible for a very, very long time. It wasn’t killing them, but it would put them out of commission and Khan’s reach for far longer than even an augment could survive. Similar devices were also installed on the thirty-six cyrotubes going with them, also able to be activated by Kirk, Spock, McCoy and the head of security. If Khan tried anything, a single activation by any one of them would lock down the cryotubes. It wasn’t something Jim particularly liked having to do, but it did make him feel a little more secure.

"I am aware." Khan said in response to the respectfully, rude remark. His tolerance for Kirk's behavior and childish comments had grown, though a part of him wished the man would rise to his position and show diplomacy, instead of responding with smartass remarks.

Once Khan was given the digital paperwork on the PADD, he filled out all the required fields of information quickly, before signing his name with his finger, then passing the PADD back through the opening. Privacy was a luxury he had not had in a long time, so he did not put much hope into it. After all, just as it had been with Marcus, the details of his incarceration hardly mattered, as long as his people were safe. The rest would be endured.

Jim took it and scanned through it quickly, making a few mental notes and then nodding a few times. “This shouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility. I’ll see it done. Your own, comfortable cell.” He snapped his fingers in reminder to himself. “Ah yes, I’m also drawing up some plans to allow you some exercise and mental stimulation while we travel, for those times we’re not looking at planets for you. You’re a big, bureaucratic nightmare to deal with, Noonie.” He glanced at the food. “Are you done or would you like to keep the leftovers?”

The nickname earned Kirk a very crippling look. Khan’s lips twitched, and when he spoke, it was in a very controlled tone. "I regret now informing you of the altered dynamic between us, seeing as how you relish in abusing it," he said, gathering up the remainders of the meal and passing it back through. Soon after, he withdrew from the barrier between them, shoulders tense, feeling antagonized, as if he had been poked one too many times. And yet he did not verbally strip Kirk down as he might have done before. "Good day, Captain," he forced out, for his part, still going through the motions.

Jim just cocked his head at him and said, “Seriously, you think that influenced me? I have no intention of abusing the ‘great’ privilege of being accidentally related to you...in your mind.” He took the bag and his PADDs and set the chair aside. “See you around, Khanny.” He walked out without looking back.


	3. Chapter 3

Jim took a last look at the furnishings in Khan’s cell, including the small privacy screen, which allowed him a place to be alone, provided he followed some specific rules first. He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, but had finally decided to give it a try and see what happened. If there was even a hint of Khan abusing the privilege, out it came.

He smirked a little at the thought of the overly stiff augment, who still steamed every time Jim refused to take him completely seriously. It was like the man thought he was being singled out for persecution, when that was just Jim’s nature. And he sure as Hell wasn’t going to change it for a murderous, old popsicle with a stick-up-his ass. A few more months of enduring the company of his lessers and then Khan would be surrounded by nothing but his presumably kowtowing, lacking-in-humor family. Maybe that would make him happy.

Jim somehow doubted it.

He walked out of the brig and gestured for the Security guards to raise the barrier again. He’d left a few PADDs in the cell for Khan, one full of exciting rules for him to follow, including some information on how he would be allowed out for regular exercise. Jim wasn’t too sure about that one, either… There were also a couple of minor science and engineering projects that had been languishing amongst his crew and might hopefully divert the augment for some little amount of time. No harm, at least, should come from those.

He opened his comm and said, “The prisoner may now be transported up,” and then watched as Khan appeared in the middle of the cell, carefully placed to avoid the new furnishings. “Welcome aboard, Mr. Singh.” Jim figured he might as well not make the augment all pouty from the first instant of his arrival. “May this voyage see you better behaved.”

A few seconds in would have to suffice.

For the remainder of his imprisonment on Earth, Khan had been barely sociable. His mood had diminished and he constantly looked as though he were about to tear the walls down with his bare hands; which was probably something he was very easily capable of. He behaved, just enough, and followed the rules at their minimum. So the change of scenery should make him happy, finally taking a step in the right direction, giving his people a home and their freedom ... and yet there was no joy in his face.

With a slow glance to the edge of each wall, Khan evaluated his new (familiar) cage. His heart ached for his people. They would not have taken to such treatment, and thankfully were they conscious to see him so diminished. Khan simply meet Kirk's gaze and nodded once. "Captain."

“All righty then,” Jim said, noting that the augment was even less sociable than normal. “As long as you’re in such a good mood, I won’t waste any of your time. There’s a PADD of general information for the voyage, which I suggest you read immediately, but it’s up to you. There’s also a few PADDs of some minor projects that might keep your mind occupied for a while. There’s a privacy screen for your use, including in the bathroom. And the guards will be here all the time. Any questions?”

Picking up the handheld displays, Khan simply nodded again. He headed towards the bed platform and dragged the privacy screen in front of it so that he could lay and read without eyes on him. Previously, he had enjoyed standing by the barrier and antagonizing his guards, even if it meant staring them down for hours at a time until they drove themselves mad and needed to exchange duties with another officer. Now however, that sort of thing was off the table. They were not meant to be enemies, despite still being treated as such.

Khan found it difficult not to fight, and even more difficult to submit. But both were required of him. For the sake of his people, he had to let things play out. He had no control here. He had to trust Starfleet to keep their word, trust Kirk, because right now, he was essentially powerless. Unlike with Marcus, who had wanted something from him, Kirk and the others had no use for him. He had no leverage. Just obedience, and that put a sour taste in his mouth.

“Well, it was nice chatting with you, as always, Mr. Singh,” Jim called out and rolled his eyes. “Why do I waste my time?” He wandered over to chat amiably with the guards, waiting for one last signal, before he headed up to the Bridge. Lots to do before they could leave Earth behind them for five years.

His comm beeped, and Jim answered, “Kirk here.”

“Captain,” Spock said in his dry voice, “the cryotubes have safely been beamed aboard.”

“Excellent, Mr. Spock. Everyone accounted for?”

“Indeed, Captain, I believe that is what I just said,” Spock replied.

“I know, just wanted to make sure the big pitcher with amazing ears was hearing the same thing I am,” Jim said. “I’ll join you in a moment. Kirk out.” He flipped the comm shut and turned back to the brig and the hiding Khan. “Well, there you have it, Mr. Singh. All safe and sound and tucked aboard the Enterprise. Enjoy your sulk!”

There was no comment from Khan. He simply scrolled through the profiles of his people, watching every blip of their status, holding onto them in his way. It was the right thing, to keep the peace with Starfleet now, even though some of his own people would not have agreed with it. They were not around to give him counsel, so he would continue to make decisions on their behalf. He would follow this course. Keep his interactions brief. It was grating on him to be this exotic pet that Kirk could poke and irritate, getting away with it because they both knew Khan's weak spot. He would not fight back, he would not do anything to risk his people. But that also did not mean he needed to set himself for further goading torments. His pride was already having a difficult time of it, so there was no sense in putting himself in a position where he would break, where he would have enough and rip every bolt out of this flying coffin.

 

*            *            *

 

Time passed swiftly once they were off and exploring. Jim breathed deep of the recycled air and discovered that death had not altered his view of the stars. They were as exciting and fresh as ever, and he wanted to go boldly and meet as many new people as they could. And stretch his wings in as many ways as possible- diplomatic soirees and pure scientific missions alike; from planets swarming with intelligent life to barren moons or asteroids with interesting geologic features. Jim longed for it all and plunged into everything with equal relish.

The only boring thing about the beginning of their mission seemed to be their guest, which suited Jim just fine. After their initial greeting, Jim did not see Khan at all, though he kept tabs on him through the reports of his security officers and Mr. Spock. He also made certain their other guests were safe and the cryotubes functioned properly. But otherwise, Khan remained completely off his radar, seemingly content to do nothing at all.

In a little over a month, they were approaching the first planet on the list of potential places for Khan’s family to live. It was Jim’s least favorite of all the choices, but if Khan ended up liking it, that would mean a fast exit for all of the augments. And one less headache for everyone.

So, Jim walked into the brig, waved the security guards away, snagged one of their seats, carried it to the front of the barrier and said politely, “Mr. Singh, I’m here about the first of the potential planets for your relocation, if you’re willing to discuss it with me.”

So far, they had not provided Khan with any information about the planets where his family might be relocated, but now, Jim had brought a PADD loaded with information on the first for him.

Khan had remained behind his privacy screen for much of the journey. This was not a zoo, and he was not the featured animal on display. "Yes, Captain," Khan answered from behind his screen, emerging a moment later. His hair was wet and brushed back, and vapor was still lightly lifting from his shoulders even though he was currently wearing a fresh set of clothing. It was clear that if Kirk had come a little sooner he would have caught the prisoner still in the shower.

Moving towards the barrier, Khan's stance was forward, solid and direct. While he might have proven himself quite reserved over this last month, he was no less capable, strong, powerful, observant, brilliant, or wild. However all of that was closed in, hiding behind a composed exterior. He would not allow Kirk to draw him out to fight. He had important decisions to make, which required calm, quick thinking.

Jim opened the portal, which had been redesigned on this cell to allow him to place things inside before Khan could access them, and dropped in the PADD with all the information about the first planet. His eyes flicked over the still damp augment, and he hid a grin. After all, they needed to chat and putting Khan instantly on the super-defensive would just make it all less productive. He rolled his eyes and heaved a sigh internally, wishing to be spared from the seriously humor-impaired.

“So, this planet is Delta Omicron Three. Really creative name the preliminary science team came up with there… Seems pretty nice at a surface level: no sentient life forms, good plant life, nice soils, plenty of water. Weather’s a little weird sometimes. The ion storms might be worrisome, something to check out in the survey we’re about to do…” Jim made a few notes on his own PADD and then glanced at the augment.

“We’ll do an initial survey from the Enterprise and select a few of the more promising areas for on-the-ground scoping. You’ll get the main say in that choice, of course. Then we’ll beam down and conduct up to several days of research at those places. You can choose one of them or decide to keep looking at planets. You’ll have access to a tricorder without a link to the Enterprise computers, but it will have as much information about the planet and colony building as you want. I’ve chosen a team of experts, all of who have helped with the selection of colony planets before. Just so you know, we’ll also be doing a planetwide survey, since exploration is our main purpose. That will also help us determine if there are any larger factors that might help sway your decision.”

Khan scrolled through the information with ease, reading and absorbing it quickly. "This is very thorough," he admitted after a few minutes, possibly even sounding impressed. "No other race lays claim to this planet, as a member of its solar system?" Khan inquired, wanting the big picture of this potential home world, even though he had been given quite a lot of information regarding its internal geography, climate, and seasonal cycles, his mind was more then globally focused. Still, he quite liked the idea of going down to the planet, seeing things for himself first hand. Even if the weather turned out to be severe, it could very well be tolerable, and just the sort of deterrent needed to keep other races from visiting.

“This planet is in Federation space,” Jim said, “and there are no inhabited or inhabitable planets nearby. So, the planet would be marked as a member of the Federation, with your people as the official occupiers. That’s the case with all of the planets on the list. All of them are close enough that the Federation can provide support and assistance, should you want it.”

“It was a pleasant surprise, how thorough the initial surveys were. Some of them are much briefer than this. Depends on how much time the first team has, and the leader of the group. I like Captain G’atang. Always have.” He hummed under his breath. “I’m still not sure about the ion storms. Those can wipe out everything in short order.”

"Ah," Khan sighed, took a few strides to one side of his cell, turned, and then took a few strides in the opposite direction. So, they would live under the Federation flag. It was not exactly a comforting notion, as other, weaker races might find it. But challenging that right now was not on the agenda. In time, perhaps they would petition for autonomy, but that was something to undertake in the future. Even so, they would not be seeking help from the Federation. Even this relocation, Khan felt, was what they were owed anyway after being seized and captured without consent. "If we construct our settlement predominantly underground, the ion storms can be weathered."

“Underground agriculture,” Jim mused and then shrugged. “If you think you can manage it. That’s up to you.” He watched him pace and then snorted. “Is there something on your mind, Mr. Singh?”

"I do not care much for being under Federation authority," Khan said simply. "What demands will be made of us?" Khan exited out of the program that had the information regarding the planet, only to open a different one. A very simple application he had been given access to for the projects he had been offered to undertake. A chew toy to keep him busy. One he had not bitten into.

But now, the program was of use. Quickly he began to work on practical designs for a community shelter that would be integrated underground, allowing for surface access at key points. And because the two PADDs were linked, Kirk was able to see his designs too, until Khan started to delete them and start with a fresh idea.

“Demands,” Jim repeated and looked at him with open contempt for a long moment, before speaking again, “I’ll make a note in the file that you do not even wish the informal designation of being a member of the Federation. I’m sure they’ll be heartbroken to remove your planet from their ‘authority.’ Whatever planet you do choose, we’ll be sure to mark with warning buoys that designate you as not to be approached. By anyone. Ever. For any reason”

Jim sighed and looked back down at the PADD, which had lit up with Khan’s work. It was obvious that the augment needed mental stimulation, but refused anything that wasn’t to his liking. AKA, anything that was related to the Federation, the Enterprise or any lesser beings. Fuck, Khan was an asshole.

He rubbed his forehead, as the beginnings of a headache swirled there, and then stood. “We’ll be at the planet tomorrow. We’ll try to hurry along the process of the first surveys, so we can get planetside without delay. At this rate, I should have just chosen a planet for you, dumped you on it and left.” He glanced at the PADD again.

Unhappy that Kirk had not given him a direct response, Khan still wanted an answer. He stopped writing on the application and held the device at his side, regarding Kirk plainly. "One inquiry, and you find yourself flustered and annoyed. Still defending your Starfleet blindly, despite not knowing what they will do once you fly away." Khan took a breath. "After all, why should you care? You are following orders. Drop us on the rock, if you so wish, and forget about us. There are much more pleasant races to discover, easier to exploit. You are unqualified to handle my leash. So let us part ways."

Jim said, voice icy, “You want blind, try yourself, Khan Noonien Singh. You hide behind your anger at the misdeeds of Marcus and his ilk, and yes, as impossible as it is for you to believe, the majority of the Federation Council and Starfleet Command truly realize that you were all mistreated. But you use that anger as an excuse to paint the rest of us with the same brush and ignore everything else humans and the Federation have accomplished. You claim to be learned, but your words reek of your willful ignorance. The Federation does have a set of rules that planets are asked to follow, as does any governmental type organization. Rules like you can’t enslave members of your populace or go around trying to conquer your neighbors. There is no tariff, no levy upon planets that wish to be members and enjoy the benefits of trade and protection. And those who do not wish to join are left alone. We don’t exploit our members, and if you want to ask how I know, well, there are a hundred plus years of records to fall back on for that proof.”

“And as for following orders, you arrogant jackass, do you really think Starfleet Command would order the Federation Flagship to deal with you? We might be fair, but that doesn’t mean that the clunkiest, most uncomfortable, piece of junk freighter in the fleet wouldn’t have been the ones ordered to deal with you. But I volunteered us because we could offer your people the largest range of planets as potential new homes and carry the most supplies to start you off with. I gave you the benefit of the doubt that maybe, just maybe, there was something worthwhile in you that deserved some kind of chance at a new life. Something in the man who smashed half a city, took thousands of innocent lives and blandly said it’s the price they got to pay for someone else’s treachery. And then claimed he’s not a monster. You’re right, I’m not qualified to deal with you because I actually thought you might be worth dealing with. More fool I.”

He blew out a harsh breath and added, “Starfleet wants nothing from you. And nothing to do with you, either. There will be no demands. And if you prefer it, there won’t even be communication. You can all starve to death or die from some massive plague that even your genes can’t fight and Starfleet won’t raise a finger to help, if that’s really what you prefer. We’ll find you your planet, like we promised, leave you there and pray that you never, ever find a way to get off.”

Instead of being angry with Kirk for shouting at him and calling him names, Khan seemed to respond to it. "Thank you, Captain. That was the truth and honesty I was looking for." His gaze was steady and calm now. Now that he had more information and truth of his situation, he felt better prepared to make the right decision. He knew where he stood now, in the eyes of Kirk and the Federation; and it wasn't at all what he had expected. They would be left alone, if they so desired it. And no one would come. No one, to snatch up any of his crew, to throw them under the microscope, to test and torture and manipulate as had already been done. Not salves to another man's war. Not tools to be used.

“Well, great, so glad you’re happy now,” Jim said. “I’ll throw a party.” He shook his head and dropped his shoulders a little, tired already of dealing with the other man. “You always hear only what you want to and ignore all the rest. That must be one of those traits your enhancements made ‘better.’ If the rest of your crew is similar, this planet really is your only hope of survival. You’ll never be fit to live with anyone else.”

"Hmm," Khan sighed. "Being polite really isn't in your skill set, is it Captain." It was true- his people were much like him, some more patient than others, some, more quick to anger. But when it came to respect, and disrespect, their stance was very clear on the subject. It would take them some time to adapt to that, certainly. "Though to risk furthering our feud, what is it you believe I am not hearing?"

“I’m polite to people who’ve earned it,” Jim said, “and considering the nature of our prior encounters, I’d love to hear why you think you’ve earned it. But let’s review, shall we? Marcus was horrible to you and your crew. Fine. No argument. You were equally and arguably worse to those people you believed Marcus represented, despite some rather clear indications to the contrary. I’m sure you’ll argue that- it was just your nature, you were mad- but sorry, no, you were. And I’ve been one of the bodies. But despite that, Starfleet decides to grant you and your crew another opportunity at life, a planet of your own. And in response, you assume that something must be rotten in the state of Denmark, without any consideration to the history of humanity since your time or the Federation itself. You make accusations that the Federation exploits its members, assume the Federation, including myself, would happily kill you all without a second thought, question my motives for asking you straightforward questions, refuse to even acknowledge that the people you killed were the family of others, too. My family, for one. And then you have the unmitigated gall to call me blind. And everything I just said didn’t even resonate with you, did it? Anymore than anything I’ve ever said before or will say in the future.” He laughed in an unamused way. “What do I think you don’t hear- anything that doesn’t fit into your worldview.”

"Ah, Captain. On the one hand you would have me forgive and forget, to see Starfleet in a better light, while on the other you make it quite impossible to do so by reminding me that my wrongs were the more villainous acts, that my breeding makes me a freak and an outcast, even to your universally accepting, moral eyes."

"So which is it? Am I to trust the good intentions of a fresh start, while still being treated as a criminal? I require facts, not faith. And the fact is, I have followed your rules, shown you and your crew respect and patience, doing no further harm to them, or your ship, regardless of having several opportunities to do so. I have kept my word, Captain. As you have kept yours. But as long as you regard me with suspicion, how is it any surprise that the feeling is mutual?"

Khan looked down briefly, thinking back before he added, "I can offer you my apologizes, condolences for your losses, and they will be sincere. Can you do the same?"

Jim made note of the idea that Khan had been given opportunities for escape with alarm and decided to check in with Spock and see if they could determine what he meant. Of course, it might all be mind-fuckery, too. Khan was good at that.

And there were flaws in his arguments, holes wide enough to fly the Enterprise through. The most obvious being that Jim Kirk, Starfleet and the Federation were not Marcus. But Khan was still Khan. It wasn’t some other augment, blameless and unincorporated with the entire affair who stood before Jim now. It was the very man who committed all the crimes in the first place. And he was demanding not only forgiveness, but a clean slate? He really was arrogant beyond any kind of arrogance Jim had even known existed.

Well, there was Kodos...

But like the former Governor of Tarsus IV, Khan would never understand that logic, never hear that argument or even vaguely comprehend it, seemingly. Jim would have pitied him, except that he figured that it would never matter again, once the augments were all settled. Still, what was the point in arguing in circles? Khan would undoubtedly continue to test Jim’s limited patience and anger him until he did want to waste another few punches on him, but for now…

For now, let peace reign.

“It’s funny, Mr. Singh,” Jim said, “that you should ask me that. You who require facts and not faith. The facts are that I argued your case in front of Starfleet Command, that your people had been mistreated and deserved another chance. I don’t know everything Alexander Marcus did to you, but I regret that he used your people against you, held you in virtual slavery to his whims. Yes, I can honestly say that I empathize with you about that.”

“So, fine, the past is the past. It can’t be changed and neither of us will ever be happy with it. But now, we are trying to forge ahead and find a path for your people. We may rub each other the wrong way and never really get along, but the fact is, we both want the same thing in the end, just for rather different reasons.” Jim ran a hand through his hair and invoked the spirit of Christopher Pike (oh irony of ironies) and said, “I guess what I’m saying is that I’m holding out the olive branch, Mr. Singh.”

"Yes." Khan sighed with a simple nod. Yes, this was what he wanted, and had been trying for, in his own (outdated) way. Now at least, there was no misunderstandings. They were on the same page at last. Page one. A new start. Stepping forward to make up the difference in the formal space between them, Khan approached the barrier as close as he could tolerate. "Thank you, Captain." He said with a calm rumble in his chest. Lightly, he closed his eyes and tilted his head down and to the side. It was a symbolic gesture of acceptance and vulnerability in place of having a handshake. He stood there like this for some time, his chest rising and falling deeply while the rest of him remained still. Inwardly there was still anxiety about showing such trust, but Khan was meeting Kirk for his half of the peace offering. Slowly, after giving Kirk ample time to do him harm or say something awful to ruin it, Khan opened his eyes and met Kirk's gaze. "I accept your offer of peace, with my own."

Jim’s head automatically canted to the side in response to Khan, but he quickly righted and shook it lightly, wondering at the gesture. It was strangely formal and just this side of intimate. And when Khan looked back at him, he mimicked it with a little less grace, but a general understanding of the importance. “Very well. Thank you.”

He sat back down and sprawled a little in the chair, making himself comfortable. “Are you sure you already want to explore building underground facilities? I don’t mean that you can’t, if that’s really the way you want to go, but we can look over all of the planets before you make a choice. And underground would be a lot of work. Or would that be a good thing? Keep everyone busy and give them a purpose?”

"In the case of this planet, underground architecture would be the most practical. The surface environment is tolerable, aside from the frequent ion storms. And the work would be ideal to reform our community. However, if-" Khan then paused, and corrected himself, "since you are willing, I would not wish to pass up discovering a paradise, to settle for purgatory," he said with a little smile. It was not meant as a jab against Kirk or his crew, their efforts in finding suitable planets was appreciated. It simply reflected Khan's attitude about his people, wanting to give them the best, even if they could technically survive the worst.

“Exactly,” Jim said with a firm nod. “Not that a seeming paradise can’t unexpectedly turn into a hell, but we’ll do everything we can in terms of studies to make sure that doesn’t happen. We’ve come a long way in terms of our knowledge on how best to colonize new planets successfully. Not that it’s an easy task...for most of us, but certainly, there’s no reason in this case to set yourselves up to have a harder time of it.” He reconnected his PADD to Khan’s and began his own series of notes for the augment to see.

“You know,” he said, after a few moments of quiet work, “there’s no reason you shouldn’t take some advantage of the offer to get you out of that cell and get some more exercise now. You can’t possibly enjoy being cooped up in there all the time.”

"Initially I refused because I had no incentive to provide exceptional work, for free." It had been Khan's freedom to say no, whereas with Marcus, he had been forced to say yes. "I was exercising a right, a choice, that I was previously denied." Khan kept his eyes down on the digital display, adding to Kirk's notes as they went along. "Now, however, it would be my pleasure to aid your crew with these minor projects." Khan could have answers for all of them within hours, if needed, but would be careful about serving up solutions on a silver platter.

Jim chuckled, internalized his eyeroll at the ‘exceptional work’ crack, and shook his head. “I didn’t mean the projects, though please do work on them, if you want. I meant the exercise room access. The Enterprise has some really nice spaces to workout in, and this cell isn’t one of them.”

"Ah." Khan seemed to take a full, deep breath at the mention of getting exercise. "Yes, I may enjoy undertaking such an outing." His muscle memory was of course excellent and would take very little effort on his part to once more build himself to his peak condition. But it wasn't about building bulk or mass. Rather, it was about movement and related freedoms that could not be indulged in from his cage.

“Well, let me know if ‘may’ becomes ‘yes,’” Jim said with a smirk at Khan. “I’m sure you’d like a chance to show off all of your physical enhancements. Impress all the girls.”

The comment earned Kirk a briefly curious, confused look. Khan raised an eyebrow at him, finally, for the first time perhaps, seeing his humor. "My functions are not for ogling," he said plainly. "Hmm." Khan tilted his head and walked the length of his cage with an amused thought pulling at the corner of his mouth. "I admit, I have certain vanities, but looking impressive for the female gaze is not one of them."

Jim’s eyebrows rose, even though he didn’t look away from what he was doing. “Oh please, admit to those vanities for me,” he said. “And what’s wrong with a little ogling? It can be fun for all parties involved.”

"No," Khan said with a little smile. For a moment, just an instant, it felt like he was speaking with his own first officer, Joaquin. Though respectful, always respectful, he tended to speak with Khan in familiar ways too. "Not for me." He said a little more firmly, but not at all cruel or dismissive. An uncomfortable shutter did however crawl up his spine, so Khan sat in the chair that had been provided for him. No. No more microscopes. No more eyes, watching him without his consent, or on display as a prize to be shown off. No more of that.

Jim glanced at him quickly and then away, chewing on his cheek. “I suppose we could arrange for you to use the officers’ gym, but the security protocols have to be followed. Less people there, though. So, really, you don’t want to share your vanities? Why not?”

"Captain." Khan said gently, a silent please implied that he did not wish to pursue this conversation. "You may well trust that I have no shame." He could easily strip down now and remain completely naked for the rest of the journey without even flinching at the notion. His body was indeed a marvelous thing, and he was not shy about it. "But allow me some privacy. Some secrets. I do not wish to share myself in such a way with strangers." It was the familiarly that he objected to. Family was different. Which meant, Kirk was different; technically.

Jim gave him another look, this one slightly confused. “Somehow, I have the feeling we’re talking about very different things here. Not that I’m not sure you’re built real pretty under all that black, but why would I ask you to do that? I mean, my reputation probably proceeds me, but really, I’m not that much of a slut.” He grinned, completely without shame, too.

"I do not know." Khan said in answer to why Kirk would ask him to do such a thing. "Are we speaking of different things? They are one in the same, in my mind." Khan regarded Kirk quietly for a few minutes. He found the term slut to be a very strange thing for the captain of a starship to admit to. But he spoke no judgment against it. "Very well, perhaps I have misunderstood the function of your exercise room. Is it intended for personal fitness or for attracting a mate?"

Jim laughed, openly and without restraint, and leaned back in his chair to regard Khan with bright eyes. “Well, a lot of people do it for both reasons. They want to be fit not only to be healthy, but also to look good. Some people just want to be healthy. And others just want to attract mates, as you put it. I’d call it a pick-up, more to the point, not a mate. That implies a more long-term commitment. I assume you’d be doing it more for the movement and freedom?”

Listening to the explanation, Khan gave a single nod once he understood. Though he did find the idea strange that fitness was related to the short term, for 'pick-ups' instead of a much longer commitment. He felt just the opposite. The commitment one had to their own body and life reflected the sort of long term attention one should expect in a relationship with another. It was not intended for superficial desire. There was function there. Finding things beautiful was for the artists, of which Khan was not one.

"Yes, I will go there for the movement in a new space." Khan said simply. "Will your officers object to sharing with a unique guest?" he asked, not calling himself prisoner, pet or captive as he would have previously self described his situation. Though for everyone's comfort and safety, Khan might very well be in there alone, with only security personnel on hand.

“Well, you don’t exactly make interactions comfortable, and I wouldn’t want you alone in there with Bones, but I’m sure we can make it work out,” Jim said, still snickering to himself at Khan’s question about exercise. In some ways, the augment was weirdly innocent. “And I still want to know what you actually consider yourself to be vain about. I mean, I would have said everything, myself. And I’m not referring to your physical appearance or skills in the bedroom.”

"Everything? Being confident in my abilities does not make me vain, you realize." He was of course superior in his arrogance, along with everything else. But the vanity he was speaking to, or rather, being question about but not wishing to bring to light, had everything to do with his relationship with his people. Would his people still love and trust him? Would they wish to integrate themselves as apart of the Federation? Would they want to build their new society, without him as leader? These were his doubts, which held no practical value, only pride. "Perhaps, another time, Captain. It is not a subject I wish to discuss at this time."

“The way you act, it does,” Jim said with another grin, hoping that Khan might someday understand his teasing, because he wasn’t going to stop. And he did still find Khan’s arrogance more than slightly annoying. “But fine, keep your secrets. I’ll arrange for you to get some exercise, maybe tomorrow.” And then he settled down to work.


	4. Exercise and Debate

Jim walked down the hall with side-by-side Khan, trying not to feel so weird about the deja-vous, since they were surrounded by Security personnel. “All we need now is a comm to Scotty to really make this complete,” he said. The other personnel twitched, and he felt a little bit chastened. People still didn’t like him joking about that day.

“Anyway, here we are,” he said, entering the officer’s private gym and noting how the guards spread out, unobtrusive, but definitely there. He gestured to all of the state-of-the-art workout machines. “Have at it, big guy.”

"Thank you, Captain," Khan said in response to Kirk granting him this extended freedom. He ignored the guards completely, not finding them a threat worth acknowledging. But he understood why they were there. It was an illusion, so everyone could feel safe about having him on board.

Examining the various kinds of equipment, Khan deduced the one most relevant to his current needs. To run. Adjusting a few settings, Khan stepped onto a platform that slowly began to move under him. It was a casual walk for just under a minute, as Khan familiarized himself with how it worked. However soon enough he was running, not jogging, in full galloping strides, each deep breath timed perfectly with the impact. Eyes forward, Khan's shoulders seemed to relax, rather than tense at the effort, clearly finding comfort and freedom in the movement.

Jim watched Khan fly along the machine and laughed softly at the sheer speed of his movements. “If you like,” he said to the man, even as he stepped on to the platform next to him, “you can pull up a screen and call up some scenery to watch. And listen to.” He pulled up a display and then chose a mountain path to run, which flickered on in front of him. “Like this.” He turned on some suitable background noise, a peaceful brook and bird song.

"Hm." Khan glanced to Kirk out of the corner of his eye as the man moved to join him for a run. But following his recommendation, he pulled up a different environment- large sweeping sand dunes that disappeared into the artificial horizon. There was no birdsong for Khan Noonien Singh, but the artificial gravity around his feet changed to add more resistance and he smirked, pleased by this.

Jim snickered at Khan’s choice and then flipped through some alternatives of his own, finally choosing a hip, urban setting, filled with other runners. He enjoyed the modern, lively setting for his runs. “Is that a place you’ve seen before or merely one that appeals to you?”

"It is familiar to me." Khan said simply and dismissed the laughter so that he would not see reason to take offense to it. He glanced to the view Kirk chose for himself before turning his gaze forward once more, focusing on his own run. Every stride was flawless and in perfect form, never stumbling, never hesitating, just moving forward.

“Reminded me of Vulcan, is all,” Jim said, “and you are so very like a Vulcan in many ways.” He picked up his pace a little, refusing to let Khan’s ridiculous ease get to him. Genetic enhancements were a cheat, after all. “You can hook-up your track to other people’s, too, if they have the sharing option on. Not that I think you will, but I find it kind of fun sometimes. That’s why there are the other runners on my screen. Some of them are members of the crew.”

Turning his head at the comment about Vulcan, Khan kept his eyes on Kirk for a bit longer this time. It was not meant as an insult, he decided, but an observation. Perhaps an accurate one. He then looked to Kirk's screen, watching as he overtook a few runners in the same program with him. "Very sociable." But instead of changing programs in order to challenge the others as one might expect, Khan remained in the one he had chosen for himself. "Do you ever compete?" he inquired.

“Nah, not really my thing,” Jim said. “Now, if there was a way to race dirt bikes, I’d be all over that.” He fiddled with his controls again, before choosing some music, loud and fast. “That’s more like it!” He bopped in time to the raucous sounds, even as he kept running.

Tuning out the music and the security guards around the perimeter, Khan's focus became very singular. Forward. Forward. Forward. He tuned out completely to an almost meditative state as he ran across the artificial dunes. An hour later he stopped abruptly and powered the machine down. His heart rate was up only slightly, but outwardly he looked just as composed as if he had walked the length of the room. He wasn't sweating or even breathing hard, but did give a deep sigh as he approached a different piece of equipment; they were inner changes rather then external.

More the one of the guards exchanged uncertain looks as Khan approached the combat dummy. It was a very streamline, robotic version of something he was familiar with in his time, so it did not take him very long to input the right commands and difficulty level. After three warning lights and beeps indicating that it was about to be engaged, the dummy sprang to life, rotating its middle and base in separate directions, the stiff, pole like appendages attempted to attack.

This was the side of Khan many had seen. And apparently it was always there, just under the surface, no matter how calm he appeared. As Khan vocalized shouts and growls, beating the machine back with his arms and legs, making it time out in error after less than a dozen direct hits.

“Awww, you hurt him,” Jim said, as he stepped off his machine and wandered toward Khan. “That wasn’t very nice.” He walked up to the machine and patted it fondly. “We’ll have to break out the one designed for the Gorn. Oh, or the Horta. Maybe some kind of hybrid between the two.” He glanced at the augment and said, “You’ve definitely been locked up for too long. Maybe we’ll let you just run around on the planet for a few days, even if it doesn’t work as a colony. You can work out some of that pent up emotion and stuff.” His grin went cheeky. “Do you like camping? We can break out the gear!”

When Kirk approached, Khan stood down and folded his hands behind his back, giving Kirk his attention, but also his space. His nose flared slightly as he caught Kirk's scent once more. However, he did not share Kirk's humor, nor respond to being treated like a pet that needed to be let out to run so that he wouldn't chew on the furniture or something equally absurd. "My accommodations are suitable and already meet my requirements," he said simply.

Jim glanced slyly at the sad robot and rolled his eyes at the augment. “Sure they are,” he said. “Which is why on your first trip out of them you went and punched out the poor training robot’s lights. But fine, if you don’t want to explore the planet more, I’ll just take the rest of the Away Team camping.” He turned his back deliberately on Khan and headed for the mats, which were ideal for running through some of his on hand-to-hand moves. “But continuing to respond to any kind of friendly gesture with instant denial isn’t very logical.”

He looked at Lieutenant Martinez, one of the Security guards on uneasy duty. “I bet Martinez here would love a chance to camp out with me. Isn’t that right?”

The Lieutenant blushed faintly and said, “Yes, Sir, of course.”

“See?” Jim asked Khan and began a series of stretches, sighing a little at the feeling. “Don’t be a stick-in-the-mud.”

"Camping," Khan retorted, eyes fixed on Kirk, "seems like an unnecessary risk and hardship when you have modern amenities." To him, camping was something you did while on the run, to remain off grid from the enemy. It was not something to be enjoyed as a form of leisure. "But if you are issuing an invitation, I will accept, Captain." There was a difference between what Kirk had first said and what he was now saying, and Khan would not be rude in refusing a friendly request for his company, if that was indeed what was on the table. Though the entire notion was still perplexing to him, especially since 'camping' appeared to be a sort of euphemism for something else.

“Ugh, you sound like Spock and Bones,” Jim said, making a face at him for the first comment. But the acceptance lightened his expression. “Awesome. We’ll make S’mores! Tell ghost stories around the fire. It’ll be awesome.” He clapped his hands together excitedly and then went into a more serious set of exercises, focused, but still obviously content.

In the middle of one motion, he glanced up at Khan and asked, “Will you show me some of your moves?”

Considering that Doctor McCoy and Commander Spock were perhaps Kirk's most valued advisors, friends even, Khan did not take offense to the comparison. They were both intelligent men, and proved very loyal to their captain. Moving forward, Khan watched as Kirk continued to stretch and move, picking out some of the flaws that were perhaps not the most efficient ways to move, but did not bring them to light unsolicited. However, as Kirk asked for a demonstration, Khan tilted his head to the side and then nodded once in acceptance. "What do you wish to learn?" he asked, dropping his arms and hands to his sides as he approached Kirk with a sort of dignity that made him look royal.

“What styles of hand-to-hand combat are you most familiar with?” Jim asked, still moving gracefully through his warm-up routine. He frowned a little and then said, “If you want to show me. Do you like fighting? I mean…” He bit at his lower lip, thinking over the words a little. “Your life has had a lot of fighting in it, but not necessarily of your choice. Mine, too, though not in the same way. And I like the physical experience of the motions, even as I’ve learned to hate the violence.”

"I am familiar with all human combat styles in existence, up until the day I went under." The more modern techniques Khan had briefly studied, but did not mention them as he did not yet consider himself an expert in them. That would take a little bit more research and freedom that he did not currently have access to. "The movements come naturally to me." He said, not exactly admitting that he enjoyed fighting, but nor was he denying it either. But he appreciated Kirk's diplomatic response, though only showed it by taking a slow, deep, relaxed breath.

Keeping his hands apart and fingers spread, Khan was showing the guards in the room that he meant their captain no harm. "I can show you some effective movements, if you wish."

Jim shook himself out, fully stretched now for this kind of exercise. “Yeah, show me some of your favorites. I’ve studied a variety of hand-to-hand techniques, too, human and otherwise. The Andorians practice multiple forms, though they prefer to use knives to open hands.” He grinned a little internally, knowing he would always prefer the good, old-fashioned barroom brawl himself. Not a clean way of fighting, but one that had gotten his adrenaline going more than a few times. And led him to Starfleet...and Pike. His cheer faltered a little, thinking of his friend and sponsor, shot down by the man in front of him. The callous way Marcus had used Pike’s memory to drive him to murder Khan and start a war with the Klingons. He shook that off, too, years of practice in putting on the front he wanted the world to see. “I’m interested in what you favor, if you don’t mind.”

Khan nodded, understanding that Kirk was no idiot and could be easily taught. Though he also filed away for later that he had many other races of fighting techniques to research and familiarize himself with. He did not wish to be limited, at any sort of disadvantage in this new reality. Noticing the shift in Kirk, it was clear that they had touched upon something, but Khan did not press for answers. He kept their interaction direct and to the point.

"If I may, Captain," he said, reaching for Kirk with one hand and taking him by the wrist. His movements were firm, but not rushed so that there was no mistake as to what he was doing. Guiding Kirk's hand, Khan pressed it to his own chest, showing him a point just under his collarbone. "Here, first," he explained. "You can feel the pulse," he said, helping Kirk press two fingers into the right spot to find the area he was referring to. "Second here," he said, taking Kirk by his other hand to show up a pressure point just under his arm, close to his rib cage. "And third, here," he directed, closing his hand around Kirk's in order to make it into a fist, showing him the spot on his chest, just offset of his heart. "Causes a minor heart attack in your opponent, which disrupts their ability to attack effectively."

“Well, that’s ruthless and efficient,” Jim said and then gently pressed his fist forward, a friendly touch. He was testing his welcome with Khan and affirming his lack of fear of the augment. Caution, yes, but not fear. “I guess in a real life and death struggle, I could do that to someone. Of course, it won’t work on some of the species we've met. Or at least, not in those spots.” With his free hand, he approximated the same moves on Khan, as if he were taking on a Romulan, whose heart was placed differently. He left his other hand in Khan’s, waiting for him to let go.

Khan nodded once in agreement, the assessment was accurate. It was ruthless and efficient. And would only work on human based life forms with the same pressure points. "It must be done quickly." Khan said, directing the hand he still had control of to the spot once more before he let go. Dropping his hands to his sides, Khan's sharp blue eyes darted over Kirk to watch for error, but when the strike did not immediately come, he clarified. "You may try on me."

“Uh.” Jim hesitated, the words ‘minor heart attack’ not really inspiring him to try the move on anybody, including Khan. “All right.” He went through the moves in a precise, slow manner, looking just to hit the right targets. He wondered if the augment would even be affected if he struck those places hard and fast, but figured he shouldn't ask at this point. Khan was still edgy, suspicious and prone to misinterpret everything as a potential threat. Not that it wouldn’t be handy to know. “Like that?”

Khan, however, believed this was the lesson. Kirk had asked for instruction and this was what Khan had consented to show him. "Good." Khan approved of Kirk's form and precision, though he received no further praise until he showed more advanced ability. "Again. Faster." Khan was not treating Kirk as the enemy, but one of his own, someone to teach and guide. "You will not harm me." Offering what he thought was an obvious truth, but he had seen the doubt in Kirk's features.

“Yeah, unless I am fighting for my life, I don’t really want to hit anybody in a way that might cause a heart attack,” Jim said and then flicked his eyes up at Khan. “So, if I’m not fast enough to suit, that might be why…” He took a breath and sped up his strikes, focusing on hitting the right spots.

Khan ignored this sort of protest. He wasn't asking Kirk to kill anyone. This was a training exercise, simple as that. "No. Here." He guided Kirk by the hand, showing him the second point to strike, which was barely fractions of an inch off from where he had hit, but it wasn't correct. "Faster," he said again, once he was certain Kirk had accepted the correction.

Jim nodded in understanding, sighed internally, steeled himself (as if he were entering a bar brawl) and really tried to strike Khan as instructed. But still, still he felt himself pull off a bit right as the blows landed. He didn't have that relentless desire to hurt this man anymore, even if he didn't exactly like him. His heart wasn't built to carry hatred (except, possibly for himself), and he’d promised himself (as well as Khan) that here forward would be a new chapter. So, he couldn't bring himself to really try and hurt him, not even in training.

Taking the hits one after another, Khan watched for error, but soon recognized that Kirk's heart just wasn't in it. As much as Khan wanted to egg Kirk on, to see something familiar, a flare of anger, it just wasn't there. Not like it had been on Qu’noS. "Very good, Captain." Khan said patiently, seeing that Kirk had learned the moves, even if he still required the speed and force behind it to make the strike useful. "Hopefully, you will not need to use it," he said, blocking the last blow with the palm of his own hand. With Kirk's fist in his own hand, Khan could crush every finger, every bone just as easily as he could a human skull. But he did not. Instead, he simply deflected the blow and guided the fist away from his chest before dropping his hands to his own sides once more. "Perhaps-" He began again, still wishing to show Kirk something of value, "something more meditative, a state of endurance would appeal to you?"

Jim looked into Khan’s eyes, as the augment held his hand and then let it drop away. “Despite your attempt to convince me otherwise, you seem to have a conscience, Mr. Kirk,” Jim said to Khan and smiled with a hint of sheepishness. “I guess this proves it. I know, intellectually, that you can either take the blows or stop me from actually hurting you, but that doesn't prevent me from not being able to attack you full on. The words 'minor heart attack' didn't really help.” He shrugged and said, “I’m willing to try. That sounds...different.”

"You were under no judgment to prove yourself to me again, Captain," Khan said, hand patting Kirk on the shoulder, but only once. He then frowned slightly at himself, feeling that was perhaps a strange thing to do since they were not in fact brothers; even though his senses kept demanding that they were family, they were blood.

Khan moved away from Kirk slightly to center himself on the padded mat. "I will show you by example, then help you into position," he said and then moved down to his knees. At first it looked like he was going into some sort of prayer position, before he took the weight of his body onto his hands and the backs of his shoulders. Drawing his legs up, over his hips, Khan inverted himself upside down with his feet pointed towards the ceiling. But this was only stage one. After a deep breath, Khan pushed away with his arms, taking the weight off his shoulders and neck so that he was standing on his hands. His spine had a slight, cat-like arch to it like this, no longer straight backed and rigid. After another breath, Khan moved his weight slowly onto only one arm, holding the free one to the side, parallel to the floor.

Jim laughed softly at the position, remembering an ancient film he and Sam had snuck away from their stepfather to watch ages and ages ago. He almost made a joke about the Force, but decided nobody would find it amusing except himself. He made a note to see if the films were in the Enterprise’s database and convince Scotty to show them on a movie night.

And the position was impressive. Khan was impressive. Even when he hated the man and wanted nothing more than to see him dead, Jim could admit that Khan was a fine specimen. (Augmented cheating didn't hurt, of course).

“Yeah, that’s not bad,” he complimented the augment with a grin. “I like how it makes your hair flop all over. It’s a good look for you.”

"Hm." Khan gave a soft growl and placed his second hand back on the floor. Though instead of getting out of the position right away, he did several push-ups, forcing to work through some of his frustrations by focusing on controlling every inch of muscle. He tuned Kirk out for a moment, closing his eyes as he did about twenty push-ups before he lowered himself back down to his shoulders, then dropped his legs and unrolled his spine out on the floor. With a satisfied sigh, Khan quickly moved to his feet and regarded Kirk. "If it does not interest you, I can accommodate another interest."

“What makes you think I’m not interested?” Jim asked, eyes bright and mischievous. “If you’re going to take everything I say completely seriously, we’re never going to get on.” He dropped easily to his knees and looked up at Khan, challenge (and play) in his expression. “Come on, teacher, show me how to do that. I totally want to...even if I think I’m going to plow headfirst into the deck.”

No, as animalistic as he was, Khan did not understand play. He simply kept his mouth shut, save for giving Kirk direction. "Drop your head and curl your back, your shoulders here- and here- will begin to take your weight." He directed, patting Kirk on either shoulder, showing him where the impact points should be. "Let your forearms support the rest- and draw in your knees," he said, now keeping at least one hand on Kirk at all times, steadying and supporting his movements.

Jim followed the instructions, feeling rather like he was curling himself into a pillbug. He laughed a little when he wobbled around some, refusing to find Khan’s lurking menacing. Instead, he chose to find it soothing to have the augment hover so anxiously about him, like a big, ferocious mother hen. “All right, I think I’m ready for the next part.”

"Breathe, Captain." Khan reminded him. "Now push away from the floor and bring your hips up, square over your shoulders." As willing as Kirk was proving himself to be, this was strange behavior for a Captain in his eyes. It was intimate, revealing, vulnerable. To Khan, these were not things to wear so publicly.

“I am breathing,” Jim shot back, laughing softly. “Okay. Okay.” He pushed off and rotated his hips above him, showing off the flexibility that was part of why he was so good in bed. (Just one of many talents in that arena, thank you. Jim could have done Khan’s arrogance to shame, if anyone could read his mind about his sexual prowess.) “There we are...I think.” He laughed again at himself. “What next?”

The position and Kirk's comfort in it spoke volumes to Khan regarding Kirk's personal hobbies. He would hardly be shocked to learn that Kirk was very creative and adventurous in the bedroom. And by the looks of it, very receptive, too. Which Khan found to be strange for a man in his position as captain. "Good. Now straighten your legs, keep your feet together until your body is fully extended. When you feel you have found a comfortable balance, you are going to do a single push-up to relieve the pressure from the back of your neck."

Jim blew out a long breath and prepared himself as best he could, before straightening out his legs, trying to keep his balance. And then he pushed up with his arms and held. “Whoa. This is something I haven’t done in years. Handstand!” He grinned again and then forced himself to be a little more serious, eyes flicking at Khan. “If you were a cat, your tail would be twitching at me. Do I look alright though?”

"If I were a cat." Khan repeated back, but seemed to smirk, finding something amusing about this. "Your distribution of weight is not even-" Khan pointed out, touching Kirk along his arched back, "Straighten, here." He directed, then stood back with a nod. "Very good, Captain. You may now attempt several push-ups if you like, or balance yourself on one hand. Blood and oxygen is rushing to your brain, and you may enjoy a meditative buzz from it, if you allow yourself."

“Are you suggesting my brain needs more stimulation, Mr. Singh?” Jim asked, wondering if he could manage the one-armed trick. It seemed a dubious proposition to him, as his arms wobbled a little at holding his weight up. Still, in for a penny…

“All right, but you better catch me when I start to fall,” he told Khan, slowly trying to shift all his weight to one arm. Sure enough, the moment he started to lift that arm, he wobbled dangerously and had to reset himself. “Nope. Ow.”

"Stimulation to the brain benefits us all." "Khan said, not just meaning Kirk, but himself as well. As Kirk moved into position, Khan stood on guard, prepared to catch Kirk should he suddenly lose any control of himself. After all, he did not want the man to snap his neck while under his watch. Unfortunately, there was no easy way out of his position without pain, as falling one way or another would hurt, regardless. So Khan quickly moved down to the floor on all fours, head tucked and shoulders down until he wedged them under Kirk's shoulders, helping to take on the weight, giving his arms some relief. "Bend your knees and roll your spine, onto my back," he said, giving Kirk a safe alternative to just falling over. As this was more like rolling out of bed. And like everything they did since proposing peace to one another, this was yet another trust exercise between them.

Jim made a surprised noise as Khan suddenly moved behind him, their heads tucked together. “Oh, that sounds like fun,” he said and stretched himself out on Khan. “May I stay here?” he asked playfully and wiggled a little. “You’re so very comfortable.” But he was instantly moving up and off, not taking advantage of the other man. He blinked a few times upon standing, head a little dizzy. “Whew. Well, that was different. Not sure if I liked it, but it was different.”

Khan had remained still, not bucking Kirk off while he was removing himself from the precarious position. Once Kirk was safe and on his feet, Khan stood too, brushing his fingers through his own hair like a comb, catching a few strands that had fallen into his face and pushed them back. "It was a suitable attempt." Khan looked calm, maybe even pleased. This outing had proven good for him, as had the socializing; after all, Kirk had given him personal attention and company the entire time.

Though before Khan could suggest another activity, the buzzer on the intercom sounded. "Jim," Bones said, slightly annoyed and to the point. "how much longer are you going to be? It's been three hours, damn it and I've got officers to run as part of their annual physical."

“Spoilsport!” Jim shot right back, although he grinned even as he spoke. “Fine, we’ll vacate the gym for you, but you better appreciate it, Bones.” He pounded Khan once on the shoulder in friendly camaraderie and said, “Thanks for the lesson, teach. It was fun, even if I did nearly fall over. Happens all the time to me anyway.”

He turned to the Security crew and said, “Clear a path to the Officer’s Mess, folks. I’m taking my sensei for an afternoon snack. There’s supposed to be some killer gulab jamun, and I am not missing out on that. So, chop, chop, all.” He grinned at Khan and said, “Special treat for us both...if you want it.”

Listening to the two men converse, Khan found that the hierarchy of command was very much put by the wayside. But this was something he had come to discover in Kirk the more he was around him. He played the role of friend to most, even though he held the rank of Captain and made decisions that impacted everyone's lives. It was curious, and Khan would continue to observe this behavior as he was permitted to.

"Thank you, Captain." Khan said, surprised by this unexpected gesture. With a deep sigh, Khan folded his hands behind his back as he waited for the first few guards to clear the way, before he was flanked by the rest. Holding himself tall, Khan paid no attention to McCoy and the staff that were in fact waiting just outside the officers gym, but instead walked among his escort without comment.

"What on earth have you two been up to in there." Bones scolded his friend as he came out finally. "Nevermind- Handsen! On number one, now, we're already behind. Grey, take number two!" He shouted at the crew who all seemed to be holding their breath in the hallway as Khan passed by.

“Just watching Khan put the rest of us to shame,” Jim said with a playful grin for Bones. “You better still be on tonight for a drink.” He gave him an affectionate arm squeeze and then followed after Khan. He caught up and fell into step with the other man, also pretending the security detail was normal procedure. “So, what did you think of the gym? We could arrange a regular schedule for you to use it, if you like.”

He strolled into the Officer’s Mess and headed right for the desserts, already salivating for the Indian dessert- fried dumplings in the most lovely sugar sauce. He wasn’t reasonable in his portions, dishing out a large number of the dumplings. And then he fetched a coffee (heavy milk and sugar) and found a seat at a private table for two. Not that there were many others in the mess, but he thought Khan might prefer it. He gestured for the security team, who didn’t usually get a chance to use the Officer’s Mess, to enjoy the goodies.

Khan did not answer straight away when Kirk proposed letting him use the gym with greater frequency. Nor did he help himself to the desserts that were featured for the crew to enjoy. Instead, he watched the security personnel drop their guard in order to enjoy sweets. This earned a slight frown, but Khan said nothing critical about their weak discipline as he sat with Kirk in the seat across from him. "Your facilities are useful," Khan said at last, facing Kirk straight on, "And I would appreciate the opportunity to use them again, Captain. Thank you."

Jim noticed that Khan did not partake of the food and sighed a little. “Really? You’re not going to have anything?” He looked at Khan with curiosity, eating his dumplings, and finally blurted (mouth thankfully empty), “Do you do anything for fun? Or did you do anything for fun?” He paused, considering if that was rude. “You don’t have to tell me, if that’s too personal, but I’d like to know.”

“Anyway, we’ll set something up for you at the gym,” he said. “Figure out some sort of regular schedule you can follow. And would you be interested on working on other projects, too? If this first planet doesn’t work out, I mean.”

"Not at this time, thank you Captain." Khan continued to decline the offer for food, but did value the invitation to join the Captain in the mess hall, to sit with him like this. Despite his very formal attitude, Khan was much more agreeable now. "And I will work on those projects which you deem suitable." Which were not necessarily ones that would challenge him intellectually, but were safe for him to have a hand in and not use to overthrow the Enterprise.

Tapping two of his fingers against the table, Khan paused before answering the more private inquiry. "Fun is not something I have had time for, Captain." Not recently, and not three hundred years ago. "I have listened to concerts and watch plays, seen great art ... and experienced many rare things ... but I have not done so on a whim, for delight ... for fun, as you say. It was never necessary for my purpose."

“You’re making me feel awkward,” Jim muttered, pushing around his dumplings a little. He hated eating alone when there was someone else there. He’d had to retrain himself to eat even vaguely normally after Tarsus IV, but certain things still threw him off. With a careful gesture, he set the spoon down and picked up the coffee. “I don’t suppose you’d have any requests for what kinds of projects you might find...interesting, even with the restrictions we both know are on you?”

He frowned a little at the answer to his other question, finding it a bit sad that Khan had never done anything just to enjoy himself. “That sucks, man,” he said sympathetically. “I recommend trying it sometime. It’s- well, it’s awesome. What’s the point of life if you don’t get to enjoy it and yourself sometimes?”

"I do apologize, Captain. It was not my intention." Khan said, glancing to the service counter and stood. "Excuse me," he said and then went to pour himself a cup a black tea, returning with the mug and sitting down again. Though it was little more then a prop in his hand, it made things less one-sided.

"The point of my life is outdated in your new society, Captain," Khan answered, though there was a small bite to his words. The purpose he was bred for was obsolete. All he had now to fixate on was his family, to give them a better life. "Since the moment I was brought into consciousness, I have been given tasks. And while I may enjoy myself in the process, seeking out amusement offers no benefit to my people." Yes, he was very single minded in this regard.

"But if you wish to give me tasks, something to occupy my time ... I can benefit your work. Medical. Engineering. Biology. Geology ... wherever I would be of most use. My knowledge is equal in all areas."

Jim relaxed a little when Khan fetched himself some tea, though he didn’t eat with the gusto he’d first had. But he managed another dumpling or two. “I know you didn’t mean anything by it,” he said. “Sorry. I’m a little weird about food sometimes.”

He refocused on the topic and said, “But this is a new chance at life for all of you. A chance to do things that were not possible once. And that should include fun. Isn’t there anything you’ve ever wanted to do, just to do it? How about one of those tasks that would be most pleasant for you? Something that’s the most interesting at least.”

"You may disapprove of my answer, Captain. But it is not intended as an insult," Khan said before answering. "When I designed the Vengeance, I designed it for myself. I had every intention of taking that ship from Admiral Marcus and flying my people away on it." After all, it only needed to be crewed by one, by design. It had been a vastly superior ship and would have been an utter fortress for Khan to take his people away on. Except that he in turn was forced to sabotage it and destroy it in the end. What was the point of such a grand ship if his people were gone, or as he thought at the time. "It was satisfying to know every component ... to engineer a concept, then bring her to life."

Jim wondered if it were possible that Khan was engineered to not even understand the concept of pleasure for the sake of it. If that were the case, he was missing out on a great deal of life, and Jim felt sorry for him. On the other hand, it was merely further proof that Khan and his people needed their own place, their own planet, to develop a civilization. They looked human and were in most respects, human, but they were also vastly different, as Romulans from Vulcans.

That would also totally skew the way Khan viewed him. After all, Jim based most of his relationships on informality and friendship, a sense of fun was a deep part of that. Khan would never understand, let alone approve of such behavior. “No wonder you’re always so annoyed at me,” he said with a grin. “You must think I’m insulting you all the time.” He snorted and shook his head. “You never would get along with me long term.”

"A bit," Khan admitted, putting it mildly. Yes, he thought Kirk was far from professional or diplomatic or polite as a man in his position should be. But he was also coming to understand that some behaviors, some formalities, no longer had a place in modern society. That despite his ability to adapt mentally to the modern challenges of science and warfare, his mannerisms were still very old fashioned. Khan observed certain social protocols, whereas Kirk did not and it was jarring and had in fact rubbed Khan the wrong way for quite some time. Now however, he was coming to understand that not everything was in fact an insult, nor a threat. Some things were just ... odd, and that's all they were.

“Well, again, when you’ve got your own place, all of that won’t really matter anymore,” Jim said. “You can be as formal and humorless as suits you.” He hoped Khan could tell he was teasing now, exaggerating a bit to give him more clues to behavior that was unfamiliar. “I don’t see why you couldn’t engineer something for yourself,” he said. “Have free rein to design anything you wanted. If that’s of interest to you. Depending on what you choose, you may not get to build it, but you might, too. That depends on what it is.”

"I will," Khan answered to the teasing comment, though then allowed the corner of his mouth turn in a small smirk. He began to get the impression that Kirk was some sort of puppy, doing a play bow with his tail wagging, trying to be engaging. It was amusing and overall, non-threatening, but even so, Khan was not yet in a position where he felt comfortable accepting those familiar terms.

"Thank you, Captain. It will be a relief, to build again." After all, he was breed to build a new society. He was a very elaborate, very complex, very expensive tool. And though no longer meant to better humanity, he could now put all his energy into his own people instead; which was perhaps the way it should have always been.

“A relief?” Jim asked, both eyebrows going up. “That’s an interesting choice of word. Why a relief? If I may ask, of course. See, I’m trying to be more polite.” He flashed the charming grin that had gotten him out of (and in) a lot of trouble. It felt strange to use on Khan, but he was doing his best to honor their agreement. And frankly, he found being friendly a lot easier than being hostile, even to someone like Khan. A cocky grin and a playful insult came much easier than angry vitriol.

Khan exchanged a slightly bewildered look with Kirk as well. For one, he wondered why Kirk so genuinely cared, and two, what sort of history people were taught about that time. Khan glanced down to the cup of black tea he had originally just grabbed to make Kirk more comfortable, but now lifted it to his lips and took a sip. Once his tongue was wet, the words came more naturally. "There is certain satisfaction in building with your own hands. To see your imaginings, come into a physical existence." Khan took a deep breath, though let it out slowly, patient, not impatient. "I may be a warrior, Captain. But in the end, I fled from war for a reason." Kirk might not understand it, considering the many lives Khan had taken in the meantime, but somewhere in there Khan still had a heart ready for peace. "In my time, I took more joy in building, then destroying. But both were always necessary."

“So, you’re saying that you want to get away from destroying,” Jim said. “That will be a relief for you.” He studied Khan intently and nodded slowly. “I believe you...I guess.” He sipped his own coffee and added, “And if it’s true, you’ll have lots of time to build. There shouldn’t be any need in the near future to fight, as long as your people all get along well.”

"Of course they get along," Khan said instantly. But instead of leaving it at the short comment, Khan elaborated. "None of my people went under by force, Captain. They made the choice to make the journey with me, to flee earth and leave it to it's own fate." He frowned a little, clarifying a hard truth for him to admit. "It is a fault, we all share. We have disregarded our engineering when we abandoned Earth. We are individuals, all, but united in our decisions."

Jim couldn’t help the huge smile at the forceful response and said, “Well, you can’t all agree all the time. And I was kidding about fighting.” He wondered about the engineering comment for a moment and then took the plunge. “You mean you were engineered to try and improve the Earth and you abandoned that when you left? I don’t think you really had much choice at the time. However right or wrong your actions, you would have all been killed if you’d stayed.”

Khan expressed a short, but bitter, smile at the comment. "Yes, we would have all been killed. However, at the time, the other ... warlords-" he said, giving them the title they were perhaps best known for "-were too stubborn, too arrogant to believe they could ever fall." Khan shifted his shoulders slightly tense, but remained direct on topic. "I saw where the war was headed. It would end in fire and chaos and the slit throats of all those I hold dear. So I made the choice to leave. Those that came with me understand the frailty of life, even those as perfectly engineered as our own. We had a choice. We abandoned our post." There was some hidden anger there, shame even, for leaving Earth; a sense of loyalty and purpose, which was probably a part of their breeding.

Jim nibbled on his lower lip and then spoke carefully, “You really believed that not only you, but all of the engineered rulers were doing what was best for the world? For all of the world, that is, and not just themselves and their fellows?”

Khan glanced down once and then lifted his gaze to Kirk, eyes deadly cold as he spoke. "I cannot speak for everyone, but for my people, it is true. And for those I met on the battlefield ... it generally came as a great surprise to them to be defeated, to have their throats crushed under my boot." His words were firm, as if he were doing such a dark thing, even now; and perhaps he was, reliving it as he spoke. "We were never meant to share power. Only one was to reign supreme. Like the ancient Pharaohs, a god among men, to lead humanity into a new era of enlightenment." The truth was, Khan had unified more lands and more people than any of the others. "I am not saying the others would have been good, Captain. Some were very cruel." Even by his standards. "My rule was firm, but fair." Another five years, perhaps, and Khan would have conquered all. "But as other warlords began to enact massive genocides, culling, on the people they found unworthy of their new world, of course an uprising was inevitable."

“Leaving aside that you can’t lead others to enlightenment when you’re completely blind yourselves,” Jim said with an equal firmness, noting that his security team was shifting uneasily at the way Khan glared at him, “you’re saying you did believe in the cause. You really thought you were doing the world a service. That’s...fascinating.” He borrowed the phrase from Spock, thinking it really fit the moment. “Horrible and tragic, but fascinating.”

He set down his coffee and leaned forward, toward Khan, inviting the debate. “You didn’t equate yourselves to those Pharaohs of old, though? Or the Romans? The Nazis? All of those ‘Gods’ among men who fell in the end, as all of those who rule by force do, conquered by someone else? Well, like you were. It was inevitable. It just came faster than it might have.”

"The ideals of the Federation did not take hold in your society overnight." Khan countered, "Enlightenment is a process, it takes time. Effort I was more than willing to invest. Some of the others felt that if they killed those who did not share their ideologies, it would save them time. That was not my way." He said, wanting to make that clear, even if it went ignored like before. "Because yes, Captain, I did believe. I had no intention of repeating humanity's past mistakes. I was created to be something new. There was success in that."

Khan folded his hands politely on the table in front of him, a subtle gesture to show that he was unarmed and not proposing violence, even now. "Though to answer your question directly, no, I did not see myself as a god. I am still a creation of mankind, meant to protect my creators, from themselves. You must understand Captain, at the time, the world needed an objective eye. Not one still biased by old feuds or religion, former wars won and lost, or motivated by the greed of riches or resources. But one that would connect the world under one banner." Khan swallowed and sighed deeply, "In the end, you did that for yourself. But in the beginning, that was my purpose."

“But how can you have ever brought that enlightenment?” Jim asked. “The ideal of the Federation is that everyone is equal, no matter their genes. You believe yourself above the rest of humanity, even if you are a product of it. The lives of those who are not your crew mean almost nothing to you. Spock chose to save your crew, but you chose to destroy mine. How can that viewpoint have ever led to a Federation? A Klingon Empire, maybe.” He shrugged and shook his head, leaning back in his chair again. His whole manner was animated, though, delighted by the debate, the chance for debate, with Khan. It was fun, an opportunity to exercise his own intelligence.

“I do get that you’re trying to say that you were different from other leaders. And maybe you were. But it was only a matter of degrees, not true beliefs. Even if you didn’t slaughter your people wholesale, would you have allowed for criticism or differences of opinion from them? Elections that might have deposed you in the end? Equal opportunities for mundanes, as I believe you referred to us? Tell me you would have. Make me believe it, and I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you might have brought the world peacefully under one banner.”

Listening to every word without interruption, Khan did not speak immediately after. Instead, he turned his head to the side slightly, eyes down as he had done during their peace agreement. But this time it did not look like vulnerability or surrender. It looked like Khan was listening to phantom words whispered to him by an invisible advisor. "If I may first remind you, Captain," he began gently, being genuine in his desire to share the facts, "the nations that I united, formerly known as China, India, and the lands of the Middle East, were among the most destitute in the world, before my rule. A human's worth was still based very much in the status of their birth, or their gender, among other things." Khan smoothed the pad of his thumb over the opposing knuckle as he spoke, but otherwise kept his movement minimal, wishing Kirk to focus more on his words, then his actions. "Under my rule, thousands of years of human prejudice and misogyny was undone. Humans, were equal, to other humans."

"It was not an easy thing for humans to come to terms with. But it paved the way to better things." Khan then turned his head slightly again, as if listening to another whisper of a voice before he continued. "I cannot say what sort of society my rule would have eventually brought. Only that, it would not have become the Federation, but nor would it have been anything like the Klingon Empire. There are no comparables for me articulate to you, Captain. Though, you may not find satisfaction that answer."

“You don’t need to remind me,” Jim said. “I know humanity was no bed of roses. The world was a disaster and getting worse all the time. And you were the response to that. Who knows what might have happened if you had not been engineered?”

“But you were not exactly an original response to those kinds of problems, were you? The genetic engineering part, sure, that was novel, but only because the technology didn’t exist before that time. In the 1930s, Germany’s people suffered terribly after their loss during World War I and from the depression. And the response was the Nazis and Hitler. A man with the genetic gift of charisma and an understanding of the emotions of the people and how to use them to his advantage. A man who preached about Germans being ‘supermen,’ who deserved to rule the world and put down anyone who stood in the way of that goal. And he improved the lot of most of his people, by raising employment and improving the infrastructure of Germany. Of course, he also slaughtered millions of people he considered inferior and led Germany to another devastating defeat. But one could argue that people learned from his rise to power, too. The victors didn’t crush the losers this time. Instead, they helped them rebuild and cemented a lasting partnership between Western Europe and America. The Eugenics Wars were the same. Mundanes aligned themselves together at last because you gave them a common foe. Someone who ‘taught’ them they were equals only because you preached that they were inferior to you. That’s not an accomplishment. At least, not where I’m sitting.”

"I am equally familiar with Earth's history, Captain." Khan sat back, leaving one hand on the table and allowed the second to drop into his lap, hand against the top of his thigh. "However, I am surprised that you do not consider the outcome of the Eugenics Wars an accomplishment. Humanity overcame their oppressors, as you say. You won. Those of us who were engineered served our purpose, even if it was not in the intended way."

“Humans having to learn that we are all equals through violence and being considered and treated as inferiors by someone else is not exactly an accomplishment,” Jim said. “I can be honest about that. We were incapable of learning it for ourselves. That’s just...lame. For lack of a strong enough word. But you treating us as inferiors and helping us see we’re all equals that way doesn’t speak well of you, either. It’s not something to brag about. Nobody won everything. We all lost. Everyone lost. You shouldn’t have to live in exile. You should be able to live with us, as part of a universal people. But you can’t. You won’t.”

There was a small twitch of his lip, but otherwise Khan remained still, eyes on Kirk as he spoke. Several things struck a nerve with Khan, leaving him inwardly agitated. "You are surprisingly well spoken, Captain," he said after a minute, meaning it as a compliment; his words having effected him. "It is not a side of you I have had the opportunity to experience. But it is...impressive," he added, being clearer with his praise. After all, Kirk had managed to do something quite miraculous. He had managed to both wound and heal Khan with his words, all in one statement.

"We are, as they used to say, the devil you know. One can only wonder what turn humanity might have taken had the eugenics program not been undertaken; had an alien race made contact with you, attempted to conquer you, first. Making aliens, you common enemies, rather then allies. Then, I believe, your Federation would have been military based, unified in violence. Rather then exploration and science, as it is now."

Khan was then silent for a moment longer, before he finally added, "When my people are awoken, we will decide as a unit, as a family, what role we wish to have in this universe. For my part, I believe it is safer for us to remain apart. But if my people do not agree, then we will address it, together."

Overall, Jim counted the discussion as a clear win for everyone. Khan had even complimented him, and he accepted that as graciously as he could. “Thank you. You’ve got a pretty damn wicked tongue, too. I could have used someone as smart as you to debate against at the Academy. The Debate Club could be a little boring sometimes.”

His face softened and saddened as he thought of the first contact Earth had. “Vulcans dropped by first,” he said. “They did right by us from the first, even if things were a little tetchy sometimes.” He almost volunteered how hard it was to see them suffer now, but refrained, thinking Khan still didn’t understand that. The augment had not argued that he did not see humans as being inferior, so how could he understand Jim mourning for those who were not even human? It was a shame, though.

“You’ve put your family at a disadvantage that way,” Jim told him candidly. “You scared the hell out of Starfleet Command and damaged a lot of the trust they might have been willing to extend under other circumstances. As Marcus destroyed your ability to trust.” He wrinkled his nose and said, “We met under very different circumstances in the other reality...the one that was before Nero. You betrayed my trust then, too. And I offered you a planet. Maybe that’s just the way it goes between us, huh?”

"As far as first contact goes, you were fortunate perhaps, to have such a patient, rule abiding race to introduce themselves to you. I can see how the alliance between the two species set the foundation for the Federation," he said with a slight nod. In his mind, it still meant something of the past had been accurate. It had taken an outside eye to lift humanity up.

"However, I am not certain that I am understanding you correctly, Captain. What other reality are you referring to? What other betrayal? I have no memory of this," Khan said, unsure of what Kirk was accusing him of, or why he had brought it up.

Jim looked a little abashed and said, “Aw man, I thought someone might have mentioned that to you by now.” He waved a hand dismissively. “You didn’t betray me in any additional way. Never mind. I guess I was just thinking it might have been nice to have met you under different circumstances. Where we weren’t enemies or starting out mistrustful of each other.” He finished off his coffee and sighed. “But maybe that really wasn’t ever possible… I would have been one of the people crushed under your boot in your time. I never would have submitted quietly. It’s not my nature.”

Since Kirk dismissed giving further explanation, Khan felt he would take it upon himself to discover what it was Kirk meant by other reality and before Nero, and the rest he seemed to be referring to. "Hm." Khan took a sip of his tea, even though it was cold and extra bitter now. "A hypothetical, as peers in school, as you suggested?" Khan raised an eyebrow, "It is difficult to say, Captain." Khan tapped his thumb against the edge of the table, quite a moment before adding, "Submission is not in my nature, either, Captain. And yet I have done so, out of necessity. It is not impossible. Only, undesirable."

“You consider this submission?” Jim asked and frowned. “I guess that’s one way of looking at it. An unfortunate way that makes me feel uncomfortable, but whatever. Your ultimate outcome is freedom, though, so it’s not the same thing as complete submission. You wouldn’t accept that willingly. Not ever.” He was certain of that, given Khan’s nature. “The idea of you as a classmate is kind of interesting, though. You might even have given me a run to be top of the class.” His grin was cheeky.

Khan ground his teeth, holding back on an angry rant. He still had some buttons that Kirk was unknowingly pressing, but did not wish to ruin the outing by going into a rant and showing bad form. Khan sighed, glancing to one of the large windows that overlooked the darkness of space and distant stars barely pinpricks of light. "I am certain your Commander Spock was equal to the task," he said simply.

Jim noticed the grimace and said, “You don’t have to hold yourself back with me, you know, except for not smashing my face in, please. That wouldn’t work out for anyone, really. I want to hear you out, Khan. If I’m wrong...well, I can take the blow to my ego.” He leaned closer and said in a quieter tone, “I know I’m not exactly the best listener, but please don’t think I don’t want to hear what you have to say.” He turned relaxed again for a minute. “And Spock was one of my instructors. He tried to have me thrown out of the Academy for cheating.”

Though the idea of Spock attempting to throw Kirk out of the Academy might later prove to be amusing, but Khan could not currently address such a lighthearted subject. "It is not in my nature." Khan said with a growl, his hand closing into a fist on the table. "Admiral Marcus knew what he had gotten when he awoke me. He had the advantage over me, knowing my abilities, as well as my loyalties." His lips twitched in anger and loathing and pain. "When he began to kill my people, I surrendered." And in his mind, that was what he had been doing ever since. "You are not entirely wrong, Captain. As even when I complied to his wishes, I still had plans of my own to dismantle his desires, to destroy him ... but that does not diminish the fact that I surrendered to him."

Everyone in the Mess vibrated a little at the growl, except Jim, who had been rather expecting it, and shifted forward instead. “Admiral Marcus was a fucking sadist with a God complex,” he said softly. “He used everyone’s loyalties and emotions against them. Including mine, when he used my friendship with Admiral Pike to goad me to kill you against everything I believed in.” He lightly bumped his fist into Khan’s, a gesture of understanding.

“And you never surrendered. At most, I would call it biding your time until you had the opportunity to escape with your people,” Jim said, easing back in his chair again. “Your methods may have been questionable, but your motives were understandable.”

“I’d heard that he’d killed some of your people. I guess Starfleet still has the remains? Would you like...if I can arrange it, for them to be transported to wherever you settle for proper burial or whatever kind of services you might hold for them?”

The touch was foreign, and yet Khan responded to it, accepting meaning behind it. Connected. Khan's head swiveled slightly on an otherwise very rigid neck and square shoulders. He looked to their hands, then returned his gaze back towards Kirk. "Thank you, Captain," Khan said gently now. "You might find it strange, considering our relationship, but there is comfort in your words for me." It was perhaps because that part of Khan that felt Kirk was family, was now assured that he had not face with his kin. If Kirk did not see it as submission, as weakness, then perhaps his own people would not either.

Khan drew in a breath, looking extra pale for a moment at the news. "I was unaware-" He frowned and began again, "We have no religious ceremonies to honor, but I would take them back, if only to ensure that no further abuse comes to them." Even dead, Khan worried interested parties would experiment on their bodies. "Husbands and wives of those lost will want their partners back."

“I’m glad. Truthfully. Whatever else you might stress over, the idea that you somehow gave in to Marcus is definitely not one of those things.” Jim nodded firmly. “As for your fallen family members, Starfleet is not experimenting on them. Marcus wasn’t kind to their remains, I’m afraid, but they’re being respected now. I’m sure I can arrange to have them returned to their families. I’m sorry Marcus did that to you...that you lost people that way.” He scowled, deep and black. “Fuck, he was a total and complete bastard, wasn’t he? All that crap about preserving our way of life…whose fucking way of life? He sure as Hell wasn’t speaking for me or the Enterprise’s crew or almost anyone I knew. After all those people killed by Nero...you’d think he would have learned to value life a little more. Value Starfleet and the Federation more. Not less.”

Khan listened carefully to Kirk's words and the disgust they both seemed to share on the issue. Only now however, did Khan ease his fingers, relaxing his fist. "It is unfortunate, Captain, that Admiral Marcus was my first introduction to modern humanity, to Starfleet and the Federation. Had I known in the beginning, that his view was not shared by all ... that in fact you, Captain, better represent your race ... I think things would indeed have been very different."

“Well, I wouldn’t have decided to enslave you and use you to create weapons of mass destruction,” Jim said with complete disgust. “I wouldn’t have started killing off your crew to force you to do those things.” He offered a slightly sheepish smile for Khan. “You might have freaked the Hell out of me, though. And I might have flirted a bit.” His smile widened, teasing again, as he tried to pull Khan out of his darker mood.

The comment startled Khan somewhat out of his mood. He sat back slightly in his chair, eyes sharply working over his manner. "Is that common for you, Captain? To flirt with things that scare you?" Perhaps so, considering the absurd things he had seen the man do first hand. However, it only took a glance to the armed security detail to see it in the eyes of Kirk's crew members to know the truth of it. "Surely your officers do not condone this sort of behavior."

“I can’t flirt with my crew,” Jim said sadly. “Fraternization rules and all that. So that leaves non-crew. And you’re hot and intelligent, even if you are a bit terrifying.” He laughed a little and shook his head. “Bones and Spock are always rolling their eyes at me, but I don’t actually endanger myself that way.” He left it very obvious that he did in other ways, such as taking the lead on all away missions. His crew would never take risks he wasn’t willing to take.

"I see." Khan remained calm, but his tone seemed somewhat amused. "And how many peace treaties are brokered, or broken between your sheets?" He shook his head with a soft scoff, then raised his hand slightly to indicate he did not actually expect an answer. "Your people do love you, Captain." Khan said thoughtfully after a moment. "However, I can see how that might be confused for sexual love, so it is perhaps best that the fraternization rules are in place." It also spoke well of Kirk that he followed the rules on this one, not taking advantage of crew members who served him.

Jim barely refrained from sticking out his tongue at Khan, but his eyes crinkled at the corners in amusement. “I wouldn’t break a treaty for a bit of sex, at least not knowingly,” he said with a scoff of his own, but it was clear Jim was not offended. “I prefer to think of them as cultural exchanges. I use a lot of tools to smooth the way to a peaceful conclusion. I’m good at it.” There was no little pride in the last statement. Jim had already helped broker several other new planets into the Federation and planned to add a lot more in the next five years. “With most people…” There had been notable failures. He wondered if Khan still counted as one of those.

“Yeah, I understand the rules. It can make the top position a little lonely sometimes, though. I guess you understand that, huh?”

Though still unsold on the notion of joining the Federation, Khan did credit Kirk for being the foundation of peace between the two of them. And peace was far from a failure. "It can be isolating." Khan agreed, but did not seem to be concerned by this. "So, for these cultural exchanges- do you repeat past encounters, or is it always a new dish, a new flavor to try each time?"

Jim shrugged a little at Khan and said, “I never wanted to make anyone think that I was going to settle down anytime soon. Everyone knew what they were getting into with me. I’m a Starfleet officer, now a Captain, which means lots of travel, little stability and no relationships with the crew. So...I’ve mostly had a new flavor every time. Sometimes multiple flavors at once.” He raised both eyebrows at Khan. “Don’t tell me you’ve lived like a monk. Cause that’s wildly improbable...and would be a damn shame.”

"I understand your meaning, Captain." Khan said, completely unphased. It made sense that such adventurers would need to be willing to have open-ended relationships, never stations in one place long enough to build connections over the years, let alone families. "As for myself..." The conversation felt like a private matter, and with a dozen or so sets of ears, Khan was not entirely comfortable speaking much on the subject. "I can assure you, I have not lived a chaste life. I was experienced, in my time."

Jim laughed softly and shook his head a little. “I can only imagine.” He sighed and stood, gathering his plates. “I have a meeting. Hooray. This has actually been fun. I hope we can do this again soon.”

Khan stood just after Kirk. Hands at his sides, solid and straight like a pillar. "Thank you, Captain, for your valuable time." He said, remaining respectful considering that Kirk choose to spend time with him, rather then leave Khan to scheduled time in the gym alone, and nothing else. Sitting and speaking had been an indulgence in a way, considering the solitary nature of his keeping.

“Call me Jim when we’re not doing anything official,” Jim said. “Speaking of which, we should be planetside day-after-tomorrow, with your blessing of the selected sites. If you have any additional ones or changes to recommend, do it now or forever hold your peace. And that was a joke. You don’t have to hold your peace forever. Right?” He grinned at the ramrod straight Khan.

Being told to call Kirk by his first name brought about mixed feelings for Khan. It was informal. Which on the one hand helped Khan see the other man as one of his own, as an equal, rather than someone with a title he was in competition with for power. But on the other hand, again, it was informal. Had they evolved to this point already? It didn't sit entirely well with Khan. "All of ours exchanges are official, Captain." To him, everything was on the record, each were accountable for everything that came out of their mouths. "Regardless, I have no changes to make. The sites selected are diverse, and will provide me with enough information to base my decision."

Jim snorted and said, “I’ll have fun documenting the part where I rolled on your back in my official Captain’s log.” He rolled his eyes widely at the augment, but didn’t try to dissuade him. That was a useless effort, anyway. “All right then, let’s get you home. I have lots to do before we go planetside.”


	5. First Planet

Initially, the planetoid was cold and unwelcoming. Centuries old lava flows had made giant swirls of polished black stone for as far as the eye could see. Explosions of the ancient volcanoes remained frozen in time as violent spires, pointing to the sky, made sharp as knives from regular ion storms. The winds across the surface were cold and dry, and sometimes as they took up speed, were quite fierce. However the ground itself radiated warmly in spots, indicating thermal activity and potential sites to establish an underground sanctuary.

Standing before a forest of naturally forming stone pillars, Khan breathed deep, letting the alien air fill his lungs and sweep across his face. It was quiet. And as he closed his eyes, he almost felt as if he were still asleep, locked away in his cryotube. His eyes flashed open and with another breath, Khan moved further in, weaving himself deeper into the maze of black stone. 

Jim watched as the science team took their measurements to rate the suitability of this particular spot of planet for Khan’s new colony. Of the three they had investigated so far, this was the most promising, and Jim thought that was purely because of aesthetic values. He was not impressed with the planet as a colony site, even though it technically provided the basics needed for a colony.

He glanced up at the sky, where clouds were gathering yet again. The frequency of storms was greater than originally predicted or recorded and that worried him. He noted Khan disappearing into the igneous rocks ahead of him and followed, wondering if the man noted something they hadn’t. Electricity was beginning to crackle a little in the air, and he wondered if they’d have time to finish the site evaluation.

“Khan!” he called. “Hey, wait up!”

Even though it would be easy for Khan to ditch the science team, he of course had no intention of doing so. He did however, enjoy going his own way; walking circles around the others, almost literally, exploring on his own terms until their instruments came up with something useful for him to look at. More then once he had come up behind a crew member to look over their shoulder at a particular reading, only for them to jump in surprise. And because he was not intentionally terrorizing them, he had now taken care to approach them from the front or announce himself in some way so that he could look at their readings before moving on.

So it was, while he waited for certain results, Khan took himself for a walk until Kirk called after him. "Mind your step, Captain." Khan said, stopping and turning when he heard Kirk begin to make his way over. The stone peaks were becoming taller, but also thicker and more spread apart, as their bases also began to sink further down. The ground was sloped here, subtly angled downwards, towards a giant pit, a canyon, really, another few hundred feet away. In truth, it looked like the impact zone of an asteroid, leaving behind a massive crater and a ring of frozen rock around its edges. 

Jim laughed softly at the caution, as he scrambled nimbly over the rocks, loving every minute of it. He came to a halt by Khan and looked over the scenery with an impressed whistle. “Well, you’d sure have the view of you settled here. But I have to say, this planet is about what I thought it would be. Not exactly ideal for a settlement.” 

The wind whipped around them as if to agree with his words. He put out his hand and caught himself a little on Khan, as a strong gust tried to blow them both over. “Whoa. That’s coming up fast.” He looked up at the sky again, aware of the increasing feel of storm and electricity. “We may have to beam out of here soon, before the ion storm really comes up and blocks transport.”

At the touch, Khan turned his head quickly, assessing the purpose of the contact that Kirk had made. Though once he gathered it was not intended to grab his attention, but for his own aid, Khan turned his eyes forward again. "There is some beauty, in the harsh landscape. However, I do agree with you Captain, it is not an ideal settlement for our situation."

A harsh buzzing began to build between the clouds far overhead and Khan growled lowly, as an uncomfortable feeling began to crawl up his spine. He frowned, then looked back the way they had come, seeing several members of the science team already begin to gather together. Some, to their credit, still doing their job in analyzing the oncoming storm.

Jim flipped open his communicator and hailed the Enterprise. “Kirk to Enterprise.”

“Commander Spock here, Captain.”

“Spock, we need an immediate beam out. This storm has advanced more rapidly than predicted.”

“Yes, Captain, we have been monitoring its progress and were about to recommend that the party return to the Enterprise.”

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Jim asked, but even as he said the words, he saw the sparkle around the science crew. “Uh. Khan and I are still here.”

“Yes, Captain,” Spock said, voice calm and collected. “Mr. Scott is having trouble locking on to you. There is interference from the rock formation you are in. Please head for a clear area to facilitate beaming.”

“You heard the Vulcan,” Jim told Khan, taking hold of his arm unthinkingly and making for the clearing. “Let’s get out of here.”

The storm was still building, ominous in its increasing power. The hair on Jim’s arms began to stand on end.

“Oh, crap, this is not awesome.”

Khan listened to the conversation without comment, watching as the other crew members faded away. And initially, as Kirk pulled him to run, Khan allowed it. But after a few strides, he broke the hold in a simple, fluid movement that then placed his hand on the back of Kirk's shoulder, pushing him along to move faster.

A light blue and blinding white snap of electricity began to exchange in the clouds overhead, jumping from point to point, filling the air with metallic burning that made Khan grumble again. "Are any of your people still left?" he demanded.

Jim made a noise of combined surprise and amusement as he suddenly found himself propelled along by Khan, instead of leading him. Not that it should have been a shock, given how much faster and stronger the augment was. 

“All other personnel are safely aboard the Enterprise, Captain,” Spock’s voice said over the still open communicator, responding to Khan’s question. However, the words were a bit staticky and faded in and out.

“Can you get a lock on us?” Jim asked, as they cleared the rocks and headed into the clearing. “Spock?”

“Captain, we are having trouble with your signal. We’re afraid we will-” The communication died with a final whine.

Jim glanced around them and said, “All right, time to head for shelter. Did you see anything promising?”

"Not here." Khan said firmly, his eyes searching the horizon. Meanwhile, the storm above continued to build and the clouds began to separate in a way that looked fabric being torn into strips. The lightning was tearing through the atmosphere now, setting the edges on fire, expanding its reach further and further, until it struggled to make contact. Then, they were really in trouble. As the lightning began to ground itself to the tallest stone pillars, scraping and cutting at the stone until it retreated back into the sky.

"The closest to a refuge was back near the crater. Caverns. Crevices," he said with a frown, meeting Kirk's eyes. It was a risk, to stand here in the open, but it gave the Enterprise a chance to get a lock on them. But they didn't have time to wait, either. They would have to run back the way they had just come, or come up with another plan.

“Shit, yeah,” Jim said and turned on his heel, already sprinting back the way they had just come, knowing Khan would easily follow. “This always happens to me!” He shut his communicator and tucked it away, grateful for the pack that bounced on his shoulders, the emergency supplies. There had been too many of these incidents not to arm all their Away Teams with them. Khan, too.

This time Khan did not offer a simple, firm hand to push Kirk along, but grabbed at his shoulder, forcibly guiding him the most effective way to the shelter he had seen. He growled, the sound low and deep in his chest like a bear being backed into a cave. The lightning continued to tear at the sky, then ground itself on the nearby rock, which Khan always seemed to be able to lead them away from just before it hit. However, as they approached the edge, Khan pulled back on Kirk to keep the momentum of their flat out run from sending them over the edge. "Here." He directed to a narrow and jagged crevice in the rock. "Follow me."

“Goody,” Jim said and wedged himself in to the rock after Khan. “The last time I followed you, it didn’t work out too well for me.” He was glad he didn’t suffer from claustrophobia or the narrow passage might be a bit unsettling. Still, he wrested a light out of his pack and held it up. “I hope this widens or we’re in for a long, uncomfortable wait. Or I am, at least.”

"Wait." Khan said once they were a few yards down. No longer having the surface winds to contend with helped, but the electricity was still very much in the air and the sky was becoming blinding overhead, though only a little of it penetrated down into the hole Khan was dropping them into. His fingers clutched at the rock like claws, holding himself in place. "There is no more wall. It opens up after this." Then suddenly, Khan let go and let himself drop the remainder. His boots scraped against stone a moment later and out of the darkness Khan called up to Kirk. "You'll be able to climb down only another five feet, followed by twenty foot drop."

“And me without my spelunking gear,” Jim muttered to himself and edged himself down the last bit of wall. “You know, if I drop twenty feet, I’m liable to break a few bones, right? Man, Bones is going to hypospray my ass so bad...again.” He glanced down, using his light to see what he was getting himself in to and then put the light away carefully.

Overhead, the electricity seemed to surge, and Jim knew it was drop or fry in a moment. “I take it back; I hate away missions.” He let go and pushed off as much as possible toward what looked like the safest area to land. “Geronimo!”

Khan watched as Kirk angled himself, not needing as much light in order to see. So as the man fell, Khan lunged forward, snatching him out of the air like a hawk catching a rabbit. It was awkward and forced Khan to roll forward with his catch, but prevented Kirk from breaking anything essential. "No, Captain." Khan said with some amusement in his tone, patting Kirk on the shoulder as he moved to stand off the floor. "I doubt you would want to be anywhere else, other then where the action is."

Jim yelped, though he would later deny it, as Khan caught him in strong arms and rolled them both. “Thank you,” he said with a bit of a sheepish smile at Khan. “That was very much appreciated. No broken limbs this time...for now.” He stood and looked around, pulling out the light again. “Nice, homey place we’ve got ourselves here.”

Moving around the cave, he said, “I bet you can get out here without a problem, but I’m not so sure I can.” He looked at the smooth walls, the obsidian glass reflecting oddly in the light. “I hope there’s another way out.” His footsteps and words echoed in the cavern, as he sought any kind of other opening. “Yep, I think we’re good and stuck…”

"Did you wish to remain on the surface, instead?" Khan asked, pressing his hand against the wall as he walked, getting a feel for the space they were now in. "I do not immediately see another way, other then how we came in." He said, then turned to face Kirk, standing in the light of his flashlight. "Once the storm clears, your people will surely return for you." He said, not feeling all that worried. But then again, as Kirk pointed out, Khan could leave at any time, leaving Kirk stuck.

“Don’t be an ass,” Jim said with a roll of his eyes at Khan. “I’m not saying you didn’t make the right choice. This was a safe place to get the Hell out of the storm. It’s not a criticism of you that it happened to dead end.” He opened his pack and took out a thin, rescue blanket, spreading it out on the flattest, least bumpy piece of cave. “And yes, I know they’ll come look for us when the storm clears. And you can climb to the top and wave to them to let them know where I am. It’s just not a particularly comfortable feeling, being cooped up in a tiny, completely sealed cavern.” He glanced at the vent they’d scaled down. “Well, not completely sealed, but you get the meaning. Now, please sit down, Your Highness, and stop looming in all your grumpy majesty.”

"I am not royalty." Khan said simply. He remained on the far side of the cave for a moment before he approached Kirk and where he had set out the blanket. "It is more then probable that once the iron storm dissipate, your communicator will function normally." Slowly, Khan moved down to the ground and sat back, with his back against the wall. They both could still hear the electricity burning the sky, but it was much more faint down here, much more tolerable. 

“Well, you have all the bearing for it,” Jim said with a grin. “You loom better than anyone I know. And the stare is all intimidation and stature.” He fumbled around in his pack and pulled out a chocolate bar. Without asking, he broke it in two and tossed half at Khan, knowing he would catch it. Whether he would eat it was a totally different question. After all, he was completely unpredictable that way. Jim took a large bite of his and chewed happily. “Not so sure on the communicators. This rock is tricksy.”

Khan held the half of the chocolate bar that Kirk had given him and simply stared down at it. "You've not been stranded very often, for very long, have you Captain?" With a little sigh, Khan broke off a single, small square and placed it in his mouth. "You are not meant to eat, until at least ten hours after losing contact with others. It allows your body to completely burn off the remaining calories of your last meal, and rations what food you may have with you at the time."

“I’ve never been stranded for very long,” Jim murmured, voice strange. He paused for a long, long time and then leaned forward, eyes glowing. “Have you ever heard of Tarsus IV, Khan? Did that name ever come up in your time in Section 31? It’s not exactly a secret, except for the names of the survivors. I guess I’m grateful for that. It’s hard enough being the Kelvin baby and the son of George Kirk, without being one of the survivors of Tarsus IV, too.” His smile was twisted, sad and angry at the same time. “I know all about starving. My medical history is a sight to see. Bones flipped out the first time he reviewed it in depth. I’ve never gotten so many damn hyposprays in my life.” He narrowed his eyes dangerously. “Don’t presume to know me, Khan.”

Meeting his gaze, even in the dark of the cave, Khan just listened, a frown slowly evolving on his face. "I am aware of the events on Tarsus IV, Captain." Of all the things he had been exposed to, that one had come up in his essential education, in order to catch up with events in the modern universe. "Though, I was not informed that you were among the survivors." His fussiness about eating alone suddenly made sense. "If it will ease you, Captain. I will eat, when you eat." He said, leaving it at that and not speaking to the nonsense of not knowing who Kirk was. That wind blew in both directions, but Khan felt they knew one another quite well, and it was perhaps why they were so quick to be on the defensive with one another. 

Jim sighed and waved a hand at him. “Yeah, sorry, that was unnecessary. Touchy subject. But it’s not like you knew.” He took a bite of his chocolate bar. “I always carry more food than is necessary for more than the most dire situations. Hence, eating this chocolate bar now. Also, I’m pretty sure I missed lunch...and breakfast.” 

“You know, you don’t have to sit on the uncomfortable floor. You could join me on this slightly more comfortable blanket. The storm could last awhile…”

Since Kirk was being further welcoming, Khan accepted with a slight nod. "Thank you, Captain." Khan said, moving over and sat on the blanket, which took a bit of the cold out and was indeed slightly more comfortable. Though he kept his boots off the blanket and on the ground, where he leaned forward and began to undo them. "It looks like you get that camping trip after all." He said gently, drawing his socked feet up as he folded his legs. "There is another blanket in my bag, if you desire it."

Jim nodded and said, “Good idea,” reaching out to snag Khan’s bag and pulling out the blanket. “This isn’t exactly what I had in mind. I was thinking somewhere under the stars, with a campfire and smores and everything.” He spread the blanket over them both and then settled in a little more. “We could still tell campfire stories.”

Folding his hands over top the blanket, Khan kept his head turned to one side, watching Kirk, from head to toe next to him. "What sort of stories would interest you, Captain? What would help pass the time?" There were of course traditional horror stories, but Khan felt the stories in knew in that category would be unwelcome. And it was not necessarily a subject he wished to speak on, anyway. 

“Will you tell me what you’d like for your people’s future?” Jim asked. “Not just in the short term, but in the long run. What would you like them to evolve to be, now that you have your own head...as it were.”

"Our future ..." Khan turned his gaze down to his hands in his lap, but seemed to smile a little. "I have not had the opportunity to think much on it recently ... surviving has been the most immediate goal for so long, but there were dreams once. For those who wished to pursue art and music, to do so. For those who wanted to have families, to be allowed to have them." Khan gave a light sigh, but appeared relaxed. "It would be very easy for us, to offer medical help, where it was needed most. Or to act as peacekeepers, between the races. But I am not certain of this path. So we must decide as a group, how involved or separate we wish to be in these new times." Khan closed his eyes lightly, imagining the path he wished to take. "For my part, Captain, I hope to be given time to build a society in the image we wish. And in time, be able to invite those who wish our services, to come to us." 

“There aren’t very many of you,” Jim observed quietly. “I don’t begrudge you the desire to be your own people and pursue a free path. It’s a lofty goal. A hard one, too. Even for a group of genetically improved people.” He frowned a little at the other man. “I don’t know about peacekeepers, though. The implications are a bit troubling.” 

"I understand you, Captain." Khan said with a nod, now opening his eyes. "I was simply mentioning what would come easy to us. But it is perhaps best, if we keep our hands to ourselves, as it were, until we find our place." Drawing up his knees, Khan leaned forward and folded his arms across the top, relaxing in his own way. 

Jim stretched and then lay down, propping up his head with a hand, elbow on the ground. He looked up at Khan and wondered at how stiff the man looked, even in these circumstances. “There were fourteen of us to begin with,” he said, shutting his eyes and concentrating on the words. “I was the oldest at twelve, and Christian was the youngest at three. He died first. I guess that wasn’t surprising, but that’s still the thing that I dream of most. Coming back one night with all the scraps we could scrounge up, me and a couple of the older children, and finding that Christian had died. He was curled up in a corner with his sister -she was only six- cold and unmoving. We did our best to bury him, but we didn’t really have the strength to do a good job. I moved everybody to another cave, cause I couldn’t stand that one anymore. It was a stupid thing to do, making a bunch of starving kids move like that, but…” He shrugged a little, a ‘what did I know’ gesture.

Khan listened to the grim story and even winced with a slight turn of his head. "You have been a leader, from a very early age, Captain." There was common ground there, too; but Khan did not speak to it. "I- cannot say that I dream. Or else, I have no memory of them. It is perhaps for the best." Briefly, the buzz of electricity on the surface roared and light managed to fill the small room, even through the small opening they had descended from. 

“The man who was responsible for what happened, Governor Kodos, he was a great believer in eugenics,” Jim said softly. “When the crops began to fail and he thought Starfleet wouldn’t get there in time, he decided to take matters into his own hands. He chose the half of the population who were ‘better’ to survive and began slaughtering the other half. He was a charismatic man...a born leader. The kind people listened to and followed, even into Hell. How else did he persuade them to murder their friends and neighbors? And then there was panic when people found out what he was doing. That’s the only reason we got away… all the adults who were supposed to be watching us were dead or on their way to it.” He opened his eyes to look at Khan. “You remind me of Kodos- the way you hold yourself, the way you talk, the decisions you make about the lives of others…”

It was an unkind thing to say, to make such a comparison. Khan looked away from Kirk, watching as the light attempted to reflect off the far wall. "So, no matter how you look at me, I am the enemy." He shouldn't care, but it was troubling nevertheless. 

“You were my enemy,” Jim observed, “and I was yours. We’re not enemies now. Don’t know that we’re friends, but we’re at least neutral work colleagues. We’re working to a common goal for your people and trying to understand each other. At least, I’m trying to understand you, and I’m trying to help you understand me. I’m not a normal guy. I know that.” 

He sighed and lowered his head to the crook of his arm, eyes half-closed. “Why are you offended? You told me it was your nature and you didn’t regret it. It was Kodos’ nature, too. If anyone had ever managed to catch up to him and ask, I’m sure he would have said he was trying to save his people. In his mind, half of us, the weaker, unimportant half, had to die to save the better half.”

"I am offended." Khan said, since Kirk mentioned it and asked for clarification. "Because there is no winning by this method- The comparison is hugely distasteful." Khan looked tense, like a wolf about to bite. "Yet again, you confuse me with the warlords of my time. I was not wiping out generations of peoples, in order to supplant them with my own. The humans in my care, remained in my care and under my protection until the day I left Earth." Khan growled slightly as he added, "Augments, as you call us- were the tools, Captain, not the replacements. It was not our function to breed better humans, but to unify those already in existence. Those who lived and those who died had nothing to do with how closely they resembled an augment, but the merit of their own humanity."

“Khan, you misunderstand me,” Jim said with a shake of his head. “I meant about your actions in the present, not the past. I asked you about killing all those people in San Francisco, about the Kelvin Archive, the little girl and her father, and firing on the Enterprise- I said I couldn’t understand how you did all of that without hesitation. And you said, and I quote, ‘Yes, Captain. Without hesitation, without a second thought. As is my nature.’ Well, isn’t that what Kodos did, too? Would you not sacrifice a million non-family for your seventy-two?”

"I took vengeance on millions, for my seventy-two, yes." Khan said, looking to Kirk, "It was not noble. It was out of anger and a broken heart. But it is not the same, Captain. Governor Kodos essentially promoted a very precise, one-sided civil war. He chose genocide, which shows he had little value for life." Khan breathed out his nose sharply, "Just because killing comes easily to me, does not mean I do not value life, Captain."

“See, that last sentence doesn’t make any sense to me. How can you value life and take it easily at the same time?” Jim asked. “I’ve taken life. I killed several people on Tarsus, but it wasn’t easy. I never wanted to do it, and I’ve never looked at the body of someone I killed and thought ‘ho hum.’ I just don’t understand that mindset. Life is either valuable or it’s not. And if in a moment of anger you can destroy half a city, how can you claim to find any value in the lives of others? I don’t want to take vengeance on your people because you killed mine. I don’t even want to take vengeance on you. I may struggle sometimes with how to relate to you, but…well, I hope that’s understandable.”

"Though it was before your time, I am sure you are aware Captain, that Earth once had many predators. Animals, that killed. For food, for self defense, to protect their own. They did this, to survive. Not for fun, not for sport. A lion does not slaughter an entire herd of zebra, just to eat one. And yet killing comes naturally to a lion. So why not? Because it understands, on a very basic level, its own survival depends on the health and survival of the zebra as well." Khan frowned slightly, finding it difficult to relate to Kirk as well. "I do not know how else to express it to you, Captain. But I understand the value of life. Of yours, of a sick child's, of a man willing to commit treason for the love of his family. If I did not, I would have killed you on the Vengeance, as well as Mr. Scott, and Carol Marcus."

“We managed not to kill everything off, thank you,” Jim said, thinking that he really didn’t buy Khan’s argument. Sure, predators killed to survive and not out of some sort of hatred of other animals, but they didn’t really value life beyond that of themselves, their mate(s) and their offspring. Not even that sometimes. Still, Jim didn’t want to start a fight and maybe Khan thought he did value life. Maybe he even did in some weird, offbeat way. “You managed to kill me anyway. And you tried to kill all of us. But there’s no sense arguing the point.”

Khan shook his head and looked away. No, he would not be arguing further. He also did not understand why Kirk was always trying to lure him into a fight; to test him, perhaps? To see how docile he would remain? He grumbled to himself. No, that was something Marcus would do. And Kirk was different.

"The winds get drawn into the crater, like liquid into a bowl." He said suddenly, "It is why the storm was so sudden." His gaze turned upwards, towards the opening they had descended through. "The last bit of data I read from ... Torowitz, I believe, indicated that storms local to this area can last anywhere from three to ten days, repeating every sixty-four days." 

“Awesome,” Jim said. “Glad I brought extra food then. And water. We may go nuts from boredom, though.” He noticed how Khan looked away from him now, seemingly upset about the prior conversation. “Does my opinion really matter to you? I’m not asking that in a rude way.”

Turning his eyes back on Kirk, the answer was direct, but also a little surprised that it had to be asked for. "Of course your words matter, Captain, just as much as your actions." Khan was after all, unlike the other augments, warlords with god complexes. If he were anything like them, he would have left Earth on his own, never bothering to save any life but his own; never to allow the lives of others to manipulate his actions, never to be used. If he had been like the others, he would not have tolerated capture, and he would have killed Kirk and the others a hundred times over.

Jim hummed a little and asked, “Does your registering me as family also impact that?” He was truly curious and trying to ask in a way that reflected only that honest sentiment. He wasn’t trying to hurt or annoy him. 

The question earned a somewhat kind smile, rather than one of annoyance. "It helps, it allows me to be patient with you." Sitting back, Khan allowed the smooth black stone to support his back as he kept his head turned towards Kirk. "What does it mean to you, Captain. If anything."

“I have no idea,” Jim admitted. “I still haven’t wrapped my mind around the concept. After everything that’s happened, it’s hard to conceive of you considering me family. I guess I’m glad it helps your patience. I know I’m a trial.” He looked up at Khan and noticed the smile. “Is it an instinctive thing? I mean, I’m not really different from the man you met before.”

"You, the essential you, has not changed, Captain. My blood is not a personality trait, simply a genetic modifier." Khan appeared relaxed now, though his eyes were always bright and piercing, even in the dark of the cave. "A modifier-" he elaborated, "I can sense on you, sometimes- even taste it in the air." Again, he smiled a little. "It is a connection, for me- just as shaking hands or kissing might be, for you."

“So, it is an instinctive response to something you can sense about me,” Jim said. “You can taste it? Like a cat can taste with that special organ on the top of its mouth?” He made a face, not sure what to think about that. “Like kissing me?” He looked cheeky again, all stretched out, relaxed and half-sleepy, but with one of those smirks.

"Yes, Captain. As I believe I have described it before, it is pleasurable for me. A comfort." Khan gave a little sigh as Kirk appeared to relax, releasing different pheromones like this then when he was being confrontational. "Not to be vulgar." He added, "But with my blood, I feel connected, to be inside of you." Dropping his hands to the blanket on either side of him Khan simply sat there, watching over Kirk as he began to roll around in order to get comfortable on the blanket. 

“Well, I guess you are, in a sense,” Jim said with a little smile. “Have to ask Bones about that. The stuff I noticed that seemed different about me when I first woke up and was strong enough to notice anything again, they seem to mostly be gone. I feel like just myself. Will your sensing that I’m family fade, too?”

"I cannot say, Captain. Perhaps in time." Khan answered, though his tone held no excitement for the day he would lose yet another family member, even as one as strange as James T. Kirk. But right now, all he had was Kirk, so he focused on that, sighing softly as he breathed in his scent in the cave. It was perhaps a new kind of cage, but this time, Khan was not alone in it.

“Well, I’m not in a rush for it or something, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Jim mumbled, thinking he could remove his jacket to use as a pillow, but too lazy to actually do it. “I told you I don’t mind. It’s nice to have a family. I got lucky with the Enterprise crew.” He shifted a little on the blanket and looked up at Khan. “I’d never really had a family before them. My father died the day I was born. My mother was pretty much broken up after that. She didn’t really do a lot of mothering. And Sam was angry about it.”

"We make for unusual brothers, Captain." Khan said with a soft purr. "But I am fond of the bold things you say, and bravery you show." Khan kept his eyes on Kirk, his lips curling into something of a crocodile smile. "You are no longer in a rush to be rid of me?" He pressed the issue, finding that quite curious. 

“Brother, is that how you see me?” Jim asked, curious. “I don’t feel much like your brother.” He made a face at Khan, regarding him through slitted eyes. “I suppose I can tolerate you for awhile longer than I first suspected.” He grinned though, trying to ease the words and let Khan see he was mostly joking.

"No?" Khan answered gently. "Well, I do not regard you as a son, despite feeling the need to teach you many things." His next smile was a little more forced, if not a little sad. "I have only brothers or sisters, or sons and daughters. What would you rather see yourself be, Captain?" Unfolded his legs from under him, Khan stretched out on the blanket as well, laying on his back with a hand on his own chest, staring up, into the darkness. 

“Oh, you wanna teach me, do you, Khan?” Jim asked with a smile. “That’s not an uncommon reaction.” He opened his eyes more to look at Khan. “Do you have actual offspring? Sons and daughters?” He frowned a little at the last question and said, “Friends have been the best family I’ve ever had. Not blood.”

"No, Captain." Khan answered simply. "No mate. No offspring." He closed his eyes now, confident in his own safety, despite the vulnerable position. "It is lonely at the top, we have already agreed." He said, clarifying. "Those that I consider sons and daughters are not blood, only young, or inexperienced, by our standards. We were all created after all, Captain. There is no blood lineage to follow." 

“You ever, uh, try?” Jim asked. “I mean, you were a ruler for a pretty long time. You never had a wife or lovers?” He found that idea somewhat unlikely, given how strongly Khan felt about family. He must have wanted children, someone to carry on his blood and line. “I guess I am pretty young...by your current year count.”

"No, Captain." Khan answered, knowing Kirk did not mean anything by it, other then to be bold with his questions, as was his nature. "It was not my function to breed a future for myself; but to secure a future for the humans." Khan sighed. "Like you, my family has come in a non traditional form. And it is enough," he said, letting his eyes peek out of the corner, catching sight of Kirk staring at him. 

Jim lowered his head again and made a considering ‘hmm’ noise. “You couldn’t do both?” he wondered aloud. “I haven’t read about any augments having children, but were there any natural born children to any augments? And you could have at least had a wife, without any kids, right? Or lovers? Long-term girlfriend? Boyfriend?”

"No, Captain. You must understand. We were never meant to share power, let alone share ourselves." Khan smiled sadly before adding, "Taking lovers satisfied a few lonely nights, but anything more would be seen as a weakness of the heart, a distraction." Khan pressed his hand over his own chest a little firmer as he let out a hard breath; pained by the loss of those he cared for.

“So, you’re saying that you were a failure?” Jim asked. “Cause you valued other lives and not just yourself? Or were the other augments failures because they didn’t try to help the humans? I’m so confused.” He noticed Khan’s expression and heard the sigh and reached out to poke his leg once. “So, now you have another chance to make things better for your family. That’s cool, right?”

"If I attempt to explain myself, will we fight again?" Khan asked calmly, eying Kirk as the man poked him, getting his attention. "I can give my people a new life, yes. A chance for those who have mates, to have families of their own, if they wish it." Pushing his fingers through his hair, coming it back, Khan then used his hand as a pillow. 

“How about we’ll keep it to a lively discussion?” Jim asked, not really wanting to fight with Khan anymore. Especially not when they’re stuck together in a cave for what might turn out to be a few days. “And you can find a uh, mate, too, and have kids?”

"No, Captain. It would be unwise. To take a mate and have children would show favoritism, it would be seen as a distraction from my responsibilities to them, as a whole. If I am to remain their leader, that is all I must be. There is no room for anything else. They are my only concern, and will remain so until my last breath."

"My people will have new freedoms and rights we did not indulge in on Earth. But to maintain our structure, to ensure that there is one who is always looking out for the group as whole, I will not indulge in the same freedoms."

Jim squinted at him with a little frown and said, “That’s stupid. Your people are really going to judge you for falling in love and having kids? C’mon, give them more credit than that, Khan. They’re not going to want to see you miserable and alone for your entire life. Not if the way you talk about them is true.” He poked him again, this time a little harder.

"I am their leader, because I maintain an objective eye." Khan glanced at Kirk again, but seemed to tolerate the jab as if it were no more than a puppy teething on his tail. "For the lack of a better expression, it is for the good of the pack, not the individual. It is a position I am honored to undertake. They are dear to me, Captain. And I will see them happy."

“Aw, c’mon, that doesn’t mean you have to be the self-sacrificing type your entire life,” Jim said with a little roll of his eyes. He didn’t intend to settle down himself, but that was his nature. Khan seemed the type to need family, so it was unfair to think of him living his life alone. “There should be some little Khans running around. Some little Nooniens? Singhs?” He poked Khan again, playful this time.

"Nooniens?" Khan scoffed, but smiled a little at Kirk's attempts. "No, Captain. I understand my role. My people are my family. I will remain loyal to them, and they, to me." He wouldn't be alone, just kept separate in a way. "I am surprised however that you would encourage the propagation of my species. Of me." Khan turned his head, looking at Kirk directly in the eyes, searching. 

“Well, isn’t that the whole point of getting your own place to live, so you can propagate and build a new civilization? Seems sort of silly for you to plan that and not include yourself in those plans. I’ve never rooted against your family, you know. I wouldn’t have asked Starfleet for a second chance for them, if I wanted you to fail. Sure, sometimes you piss me off, and I don’t understand how you see the rest of us, but it’s not like I want you all to die.” He makes a grumpy noise in Khan’s direction. 

"No man and no woman will be forced to breed, so natural selection may not see that we live very long, anyway. But even if we survive for a few generations as free people, my heart will be at peace with it." Khan then shifted, turning his back to the wall, facing Kirk, but folded his arms as he addressed him. "The point of our relocation is to be safe. To have a chance to exist by our own terms and not be used as tools. Or tortured and tested on, for the genetic markers we possess." 

“Well, those are good things, too,” Jim agreed, “but I still think you’re too self-sacrificing for your own good.” He flipped open his communicator to test the link to the Enterprise, but found the frequencies still jammed. Tucking it away, he relaxed back on his side again and closed his eyes. “So, have you ever had any personal goals, then?”

"Captain." Khan said, unfolding his arm and lifting his hand into the space between their two bodies. The tips of his fingers barely an inch from his lips. "Are you incapable of being silent?" He asked, drawing his hand back after he felt he had made his point with the gesture. "Or should I expect this sort of inquiry for our remaining time here, without rest?"

Jim snapped playfully at his fingers and grinned unrepentantly. “Don’t tell me you’re already tired of me, Khan. We haven’t been here anytime at all yet. Why don’t you ask me some questions? I’m all about fair play.” 

"What should I ask, Captain?" Khan began to settle in again, folding his arms and closed his eyes as he spoke. "I am aware you have no desire for children or a long term relationship. And being captain of a starship is perhaps currently your highest ambition, as it allows you the adventures and taste for new experiences you are looking for. You are physically fit and enjoy being tested. You are loyal to those you care for. And playful with your friends." He said the last with a little purr, understanding he had somehow made it into this category. "So, what should I ask, Captain? Do you snore?" He smirked, then opened his eyes to await a response. 

Jim levered himself up on one arm and squinted up at Khan with a quizzical smile. “What makes you think I don’t want a relationship? You’re right about the kids, but mostly because I’d be a terrible parent. And being a captain doesn’t really leave time to properly be a father anyway. And I know how terrible it is to be raised by absent parents. Not that is was my dad’s fault...but anyway.” He waved his hand. “If I found the right person, I would totally go for a relationship.” He lowered his head again with a slightly down-turned expression. “Just hard to find, it seems. Oh, and I snore sometimes.”

"Oh?" Khan gave a slight incline of his head, "I was under the impression you were only after 'cultural exchanges' and nothing more then that. Do regulations even allow for non-Starfleet personnel to accompany their husbands or wives on trips?" Khan couldn't see Kirk giving up his position, his rank, his ship to settle down somewhere, so his partner would have to be one that could join him in his travels, or accept that they would only see one another every few years. "What is the right sort of person for you, then?"

“Per regulations, a Captain cannot fraternize with any of his crew outside of his or her command staff, but are allowed to have a spouse travel with them, if said spouse is also a member of Starfleet.” He shrugged once and added, “There have been other exceptions allowed, under special conditions.” 

He eyed Khan for a long while, considering how to answer the last question and settled on truthful. “I don’t know, exactly. I’ve met all kinds of amazing people, but none of them have ever captured my attention that way. Been my friends. One night stands. Co-workers. And crew. Family. But not more. I guess, if it happens, I’ll just know, right?”

"I hope you find what you are looking for, Captain." Khan said gently. Though he then smiled a little before adding, "But if you snore, I will smother you." There was a soft purr to his tone, he was clearly teasing. But joking, being playful with Kirk, with anyone, was quite new for him. So after a moment he met his eyes to make sure he had not been misunderstood. 

“Oh, great, well, now I’m just not going to sleep the whole time we’re stuck here,” Jim replied with equal tease and poked Khan’s knee again. “Thanks for that...jackass. Just because you don’t do anything undignified, like snore, you have to be all judgmental on the rest of us.”

Khan gave a slight grin, pleased with his success of this playful abuse. It was new for him, as it had taken him a while to comprehend that threatening words did not actually have to be threatening. "Sleeping of course conserved the most energy, Captain. And neither of us can say how long we will be here, together. You should sleep. Just be careful who you kick and poke." 

“There’s only one person here besides me, unless there are some invisible ones,” Jim says and lifts his head to look around warily. “And I think you’re fast enough to dodge, unless you’re going to sleep, too.” He grabs his pack and uses it to prop under his head. “But you’re right, I’ll try to sleep now.”

"Do you require anything else, Captain?" Khan of course was fast enough, and yet he had let Kirk poke him several times over during their time together in the cave already. He hadn't reached out to stop him, let alone break his wrist, he had allowed it. It had taken a few afternoons out of his cage, walking the halls of the Enterprise, and being trapped with him under the surface of a hostile planet, but Khan was now beginning to understand Kirk in a new way. 

“Nothing of any consequence,” Jim said and sighed, shifting around to try and find the most comfortable position. “Don’t suppose you’d let me use your leg as a pillow? This pack is not exactly suitable. There’s something hard poking my right ear.”

"My leg?" Khan glanced down and seemed to consider this very simple question with very serious regard. It seemed unbefitting that a captain should find rest with his prisoner. But perhaps, it truly wasn't like that. It was a personal request, but not one Khan would deny any of his own people if they were in such a need. It was in him after all, to watch over those he cared for as they slept. Khan shifted slightly so that he was sitting up, his back against the stone wall and his legs outstretched before him, pulling at the spare blanket a bit to cover a portion of his lap while allowing Kirk the rest to cover himself with. "You may, Captain."

“Oh. Didn’t really expect you to say yes,” Jim said, surprised, but also pleased. “Thank you, Khan.” He moved so his head lay on Khan’s strong calves, which were much more comfortable than the pack. He shifted some more to try and cover them both with the blanket as much as possible, before settling again. “Mmm, you’re warm. Do you run hotter?”

Watching Kirk begin to settle, Khan folded his hands in his lap, mere inches from the young captain's head. He showed no intention of touching him though, he would not smother nor crush him in his sleep. "My body temperature does run hotter then most humans, yes, Captain. It is beneficial to exposure to the elements for long periods of time, as well as space travel, before modern technology made such things safer to come by." Khan sighed a little, eyes lightly closed, but just peering out enough to watch Kirk. "Now, we can discuss my biology further if you wish, tomorrow. Go to sleep, Captain." 

Jim snorted and said, “Giving orders to a captain. That’s pretty presumptuous of you, Mr. Singh.” There was no censure in his voice, just tired amusement. “You’re going to be impossible, just like I knew you were.” He shut his eyes and let himself drift off, feeling safe with Khan.

Remaining like this quietly for some time, Khan rested, without actually sleeping. Eyes shifting open every few minutes, then a few times every hour, watching Kirk and to ensure that nothing had changed in their environment. There was however an hour, maybe even two, during the night that Khan did sleep. Where his shoulders relaxed and his head dropped forward slightly, and one hand came to rest on Kirk's shoulder as if to be certain he would not disappear under his watch. 

Jim woke up feeling surprisingly rested, if a little stiff. He grinned and muttered, “Good morning, Khan,” before looking around. “If you don’t mind averting your eyes and stopping up your ears, I need to travel to the furthest dark corner and deal with the awkwardness of being a mere human.” He tottered to his feet and stretched to the ceiling, groaning as his muscles pulled taut. “Right, here we go.” He used a light from his pack to find the corner that disappeared into more darkness and headed that way. He really wanted to not make Khan deal with the less pleasant aspects of being stuck in a cave together. At least, as much as possible. 

Khan watched Kirk get up and head off towards a dark corner of the cave. As he did this, Khan moved forward onto his knees and sat up straight, stretching his neck to one side, then the other. He folded the spare blanket and placed it on top of the pack, but did not reach for any of the food or water until Kirk returned. He said nothing, but kept his eyes down, giving Kirk his privacy. 

Jim returned and used some of the pack’s supplies to clean his hands. “I hope we’re not stuck in here too long. With your sense of smell, I’m going to get unpleasant fast.” He plopped his ass back down on the blanket and said, “Thanks for letting me use your legs as a pillow last night. I was joking, but they were a lot more comfortable than a pack.” He rummaged through the pack and pulled out some protein nibs. “Ugh, I hate these. Most tasteless things ever invented. Want one?” He held one out in offering to his companion.

"It was not a problem, Captain. You appeared to find some rest, which is good." Khan answered, not speaking to the fact that yes, several days worth of bowel movements would make this place quite unpleasant. It could be endured without complaint or need to shame Kirk for it. Accepting the protein morsel, Khan crunched on it with his back teeth, then worked his tongue around the grainy bits, not impressed by it either. 

“These are designed for maximum nutrition in a minimum size, but unfortunately no consideration seems to have been made of the fact that they taste like recycled cardboard,” Jim said with a grimace. “And that’s why I also carry a bunch of chocolate. Helps to wash the tastelessness away.” He broke off a small piece of for each of them and held one out to Khan. “Here.”

"Hm." Khan pressed the piece of chocolate in his mouth, letting it melt and give his tongue something more pleasant to work with. "Thank you, Captain." After a minute or so, Khan finally added to the conversation. "In my time, protein supplements closely resembled dog biscuits, or came in liquid form. And right now, I rather prefer those. But I agree, the chocolate helps." 

“Dog biscuits,” Jim mumbled. “I tried some of those once...they smelled much better than they tasted.” He made a face and stuck out his tongue. He didn’t mention he’d eaten dog, too, cooked it for all the kids on Tarsus IV, without telling them what they were eating. Sometimes, things were better left unknown. And at the time, the meat had been heaven-sent. Anything edible was. “Did you ever have any pets?” he asked. “Horses maybe? I can see you as a rider.”

"Oh, yes." Khan smiled at this particular line of questioning. "I had several good horses," he said, brushing his fingers through his hair to feel somewhat presentable on this new day. "They were functional of course, sure-footed and strong, but they were also companions. It was uncommon for any of us to keep pets, it wasn't practical, it was an unnecessary comfort ... but I would say that it was common knowledge that I was fond of horses."

Jim took a few sips of water and said, “When I was young, I was raised on a farm, but we didn’t really keep any animals. Just miles of wheat and corn in every direction. I wanted a dog, but Frank never was big on animals...or me.” He made a disgusted noise. “Anyway, what were your horses names?”

Miming towards himself, Khan illustrated, "Art, with one blue eye." He said, indicating to his left, "Moon, a spotted grey." He said, gesturing to his chest, "Paris, for ceremony. And Dragon, for war." Khan hummed to himself, pleased with his memory of them. "You would do well with horses, I think, Captain, given the opportunity. Dogs too." 

“Nah, I’ll stick to motorbikes at this point,” Jim said with a slight smile at Khan’s obvious pleasure in remembering his horses. “However, if you decide not to, you know, throw over all contact with the outside universe and the planet you choose supports them, you could have horses again. They could even be useful.” He wondered if there were any pictures in any of the historical databases of Khan and his horses and decided to look. “Was Dragon one of those red-colored horses? Cause a horse named Dragon should be.”

"It is a tempting offer, Captain," Khan purred. But ultimately if he and his people would remain separate or be a part of the larger, community of Federation of planets would be a decision he and his people would make together. Practically. And not because Khan wanted to keep horses. "Dragon was a massive horse, mostly red and copper with black mane. And fearless." Khan trailed off as he stood and stretched his legs, taking his time to stretch his back now. 

“Bet you were a sight on top of such a beast,” Jim said with only a hint of teasing mockery. He was pretty sure Khan bearing down on you, weapon in hand, on top of a huge horse was a pretty terrifying thing. “I’m just saying you should keep your options open, too. After all, we aren’t your enemies. Right?” He looked hopeful, big blue eyes open and earnest and yes, he knew how that look affected some people. Maybe not Khan, but it didn’t hurt to try. 

In this instance, the look had no effect on Khan, other than to make him regard Kirk with amusement. Even so, he agreed, "We are not enemies." It was a matter of how much privacy they wanted, but also a matter of how much Khan would tell his people about what had happened. Divulging his torture at the hands of Admiral Marcus and how 90 had become 72 was not grounds for an easy peace. It would be best, Khan decided, if they didn't know. And while controlling information was nothing new, it did not exactly make for a clean start to their new society. "We shall see."

Jim noted the amusement and felt that wasn’t a bad response. Better than the ice glares he used to get from the older man. Or the sneers of contempt. All and all, amusement was much better. “Good. Then even if you don’t want to trust all of Starfleet, you might consider trusting the Enterprise. Although, who knows where we’ll be for a few years.” His eyes glowed with the possibilities, but the mention of his ship reminded him to try communications again, which proved as jammed as before. He tucked away the communicator and said, “Guess we’re still here for awhile. Can you hear the storm?” He looked up at the small opening above them.

"Yes, Captain. The pulse of the ions is different now then when the storm first started, but I can hear it." Khan regarded the wall, picking apart the flaws and strengths before launching himself up, climbing the nearly flat surface carefully back up to the opening that they had descended from. It was difficult to wedge himself back in the small crevice from this angle, but managed it after a few frustrated growls, climbing up the opening and disappearing from sight. 

“Well, that was pretty impressive,” Jim muttered and then yelled, “Show off!” up after Khan. He didn’t move from his spot, though, not wanting to get in the way when the augment came back down. If the augment came back down. 

Funny how the cave seemed even less inviting when he was stuck there alone. Not that it was an unfamiliar situation. Just not a welcome one.

He opened his pack and began to catalog everything inside, counting out days of water and food, as well as their medical supplies and other necessities. With Khan’s pack included, they could last at least a month per normal human standards. By augmented standards, he suspected they could last longer. 

With that done, he pulled out his tricorder and began a more thorough survey of their cave, figuring he might as well occupy himself. He stayed out of the way of Khan’s drop zone and the far corner, where unpleasant business would have to occur.

After several long and silent minutes of being left alone, small rocks, no larger then marbles began to drop down the hole, just two, then three and four. Then Khan, dropping to the floor on all fours to absorb the fall. "It's quite a sight, Captain." Khan said, standing slowly, grabbing a few of the marble sized rocks in his fist. "Shall I describe it to you?" He asked, vapor rising off his body, but mostly around his neck and wrist, where clothing gave way to exposed skin. 

“Fuck, are you all right?” Jim asked, scrambling over to scan Khan. “I didn’t want you to get fried.” He reached for one of Khan’s arms, holding on just above the wrist to examine the skin. “Dammit, I know a lot about field first aid, but your readings are a mess. No wonder Bones grumbles louder anytime he gets a look at your charts.”  
He looked up at Khan’s face and said, mouth set, “Now, I know that you’re capable of taking a lot of pain without it really affecting you, but it’s still gotta be painful, so try to avoid it unless it’s absolutely necessary.” His expression softened into something near excited. “But fuck yeah, I want to hear about it. Tell me?”

"I am fine, Captain." Khan said, dismissing his concerns. Though his skin was superheated, almost burning to the touch, he did not appear to be in pain or have any visible damage. "Now then-" His eyes flared with excitement, unfolding his fingers to exposed the nearly perfectly round rocks from the surface. "The surface it literally boiling." He said, watching Kirk and wanting him to share the thrill of this. "The supercharged ions in the air are burning off the top layers, creating these marvels. They rise up, just a few inches from the ground, then slam down again, once more a solid with the terrain. I managed to catch these before they dropped." The thing was, people didn't just weather ion storms, not even in protective suits. It just wasn't done. So the truth was, these sorts of small discoveries were entirely new and impossible and wonderful. 

“You complete crazy man,” Jim muttered and touched the surface of Khan’s palm, near the rock, with one delicate finger. He bit back a hiss at the temperature. “That’s amazing. If you’re going to continue to be a nut, we’ll have to send you back up with the tricorder next time. There’ll be a lot of interest in the findings. But not now. You smell like a fried sausage and that’s just not cool.” He tugged at Khan’s sleeve, heading back for the blanket. 

“Boiling? That explains why it’s warm in here. I would have expected it to be cooler than it is. We’re lucky the cavern goes this deep. Well, I’m lucky. You’d just laugh at the storm.” He folded himself back on to the blanket, legs crossed. “So, the storm is even more intense than before?”

"Very intense, Captain." Khan dropped the marbles next to their packs, feeling that they were worth saving for another time. "I am not certain your equipment would survive exposure, but I am willing to try to process a reading for you." In the meantime, Khan moved to his knees on the edge of the blanket, facing Kirk. "The smell on the surface it quite strong. Very metallic, as you can see pockets of oxygen being burned in ... well, I would call them clouds, but they are ... oblong ... globular fire balls." He said, then laughed slightly. "Truly, I have never seen anything like it."

“And you’re practically glowing with excitement,” Jim said with a smile of his own, Khan’s laugh unfamiliar and welcome, if strange. “Along with being slightly cooked.” He sighed a little, though, totally envious of the other man’s ability to view and weather such a storm. He picked up one of the marbles, juggling it in his hands, as it proved to still be hot. He finally gave up and tossed back down with a scowl. But then he picked up the tricorder, hesitated and held it out to Khan. “Here, want to run some scans? These are your discoveries, after all. But if they’re radioactive, I may have to throw them at you.”

"Now Captain, do not make me feel shamed for enjoying a new experience." Khan said, taking a moment longer before accepting the tricorder. He adjusted some of the settings while he was still underground, as he would not have time to fiddle with it once on the surface. "This may not endure." He said, standing once more, but hooked it on a strap to sling over his shoulder and neck. "It will have to be quick." He added before scaling the wall once more to head towards the surface. 

Jim stared up after him and muttered, “How come I didn’t get those skills, even for a little while, huh?” He tried not to pout, pulling out the other tricorder from Khan’s pack and working with it to begin scanning the rocks Khan had brought back. There were, in Spock’s word, ‘fascinating,’ and he could practically hear the excitement in the science labs, especially geology, over everything they were going to record. If the instruments held out. 

If Khan held out.

“Don’t get too crazy up there, superman,” he grumbled at the ceiling, before returning his attentions to the specimens Khan brought before. Fortunately, they were safe and after running all initial scans, Jim tagged and bagged them for further study on the Enterprise.

For a time, Khan remained blocked in the narrow passage up to the surface, getting as many clear readings as he could the closer he got to the surface. Though once he was up there, he indeed did not linger very long this time. It was difficult to gather readings that weren't simply off the charts, so for the most part Khan had to keep it simple, basic visual and audio recordings of the storm

When he headed back down, Khan paused in the mouth that opened up into the larger part of the cave. He kept himself wedged there for a few minutes, breathing and keeping himself cool as possible by letting the rock absorb the heat off his body. Finally however, he dropped down like before and handed the piece of equipment over to Kirk with a tight smile. "It's not much." He groaned slightly, breathing heavily before righting himself to stand on his two feet.

“You’re burning up,” Jim growled and brought over two canteens, urging one on Khan. “Drink something.” He ripped a piece of fabric off his gold tunic and wetted it, placing it on the back of Khan’s neck. “Damn it, dedication to science is a good thing, but you can take it too far.” He took the tricorder and put it to the side, intent on helping Khan first. “Now I know how Bones feels when I come back from an away mission.”

"Hmm" Khan sighed deeply as the water cooled the back of his neck. He swallowed dryly then accepted a sip, then a second sip of water, being careful not to take too much, nor be wasteful. "It's like taking a hot bath-" Khan said closing his eyes, "just, there is no water." He hummed, then moved onto the floor, laying on his side. "I'm fine, Captain. I just need a moment. My body's temperature will compensate and regulate itself."

Jim huffed and followed him, wetting the tunic piece again and smoothing it over Khan’s forehead uninvited. “Yeah, like taking a hot bath in a pan of boiling water. I never should have encouraged you, but you were so excited. And it is a unique opportunity… Still, no, encouraging Khan.” He mock glared down at the man. “I’m the one who gets to be reckless on away missions, you hear me? We can’t have two people being all foolhardy, even if your abilities will probably prevent any serious harm.” His eyes gleamed a little in the low light. “Was it even more awesome this time?”

Finding the attempt to lecture him in this way amusing, Khan just smiled to himself, letting Kirk attend to him for a minute or two more. "You are kind, Captain. But I do not need the attention." He said, feeling he should protest once more, even though he was perhaps enjoying it. "Unfortunately, I was unable to enjoy the experience as much as I had the first time. However, I do believe I managed to capture a few worthwhile images and recordings for your database."

“You’re still too hot,” Jim said with a scowl and placed the wetted piece of tunic back on Khan’s nape, before sitting down next to him on the lumpy ground. “There. I’ll leave it at that. You know, most people don’t complain when I give them attention. You just keep on trying to hurt my feelings, Mr. Singh.”

He reached over and fetched the tricorder, which was also slightly worse for wear from its experiences. Turning on the screen, he marveled at what Khan had recorded. “Yeah, that’s pretty damn impressive all right. The Enterprise is going to be scared witless about us being caught in that. I can already feel the headache from the lecture Bones and Spock are going to give me.” But he was grinning, looking at the readings from the storm. “Can we maybe downlist this planet as your future home for the moment?”

"I thought we were already in agreement Captain, I am not most people." He said with a sigh, stretching out his arms in front of him, letting the heat pull away from his body naturally. After a moment, Khan turned his head to the side and watched Kirk navigate the information he had gathered on the tricorder. "Yes, Captain. Unfortunately, this planet, as unique as it is, will not be suitable for us at this time. You will have to endure us a little while longer."

“Your crew is pretty laid back and easy to get along with,” Jim said, testing if that was an area he could joke about with Khan. “It’s you who are liable to snap at me and question all my decisions.” He snorted and added, “Sensible people like it when I pay them attentions. Does that suit you better?” He flashed his teeth in a grin and went back to his studies, humming under his breath about electromagnetic fields and possible sources of energy and new geologic processes. Of course, Khan could hear him, like a stream of consciousness of science. 

"Captain." Khan warned, his head lifting and eyes snapping to the other man. No, his people were off limits. Kirk did not know them. He did not even know their names. He didn't get to talk about them in such ways. He did not add to his protest, but only used Kirk's title as a full beginning, middle and end to the conversation. After a while however, Khan turned onto his back and moved the wet cloth over his eyes, giving them rest under the fabric with another sigh. 

Khan was wrong about the names, not that he’d have any reason to know that. Jim knew the names of everyone on his ship, plus their vital statistics, even those frozen in cryotubes.

“Sorry,” Jim said. “I didn’t mean any offense to them. Or you. Well, maybe to you. A little bit of teasing anyway. Very little. Can’t take any chances about your deciding to knock me about again.” He made a few notes on the tricorder and then asked, “Will leaving me behind feel weird to you then? I mean, what with my being family and all?”

"I do not know why you enjoy provoking me, Captain." Khan said with a slight grumble, though he was clearly not irritated any more, just exasperated. "I will not harm you, you realize." Khan was silent for a long time after that, then sat up, pulling the cloth away from his eyes and rested his arms on his knees. "It is true, I feel connected to you Captain, but you have no allegiance to me, as my people do. I understand the separation that is to come. You have your own family to care for, as I have mine."

“Provoking?” Jim asked with a sweet smile. “I’m just teasing you, which is a much different thing. But you really consider it provocation? I don’t mean it to be. It’s just one of the ways I interact with people that I’m friendly with.” He flashed him a grin and then said, “I may have not sworn allegiance to you, but that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t regret leaving behind someone you feel is family. I would.”

At the present time, Khan considered his feelings about Kirk were too complicated to address. So he refrained from speaking too much on the subject. At least not in ways that would be too revealing. "Very well, I shall miss you." He said with a little smirk. "Does that flatter your ego sufficiently?" It was a certain truth mixed in with the sort of playfulness he was still experimenting with. He was finding it an interesting tool, to both speak and yet mask the truth of things. 

“Oh yes, consider me flattered,” Jim said and eyeballed him. “I could get to miss the man I’m getting to know now, where I never would have missed the one I knew before.” He shrugged and said, “I promised you a clean start, and I’m trying to keep my promises.” He did like the new side Khan was showing and wondered if he would be the only one on the Enterprise privileged enough to get a glimpse of this part of Khan. “Bones would tell you my ego doesn’t need any flattering. It’s large enough.”

"Your friends are quite liberal with how they speak with you, Captain. I have not observed such behavior in other commanding officers. It is unique." Khan was still getting used to it, but seeing Kirk interact with his crew and then be informal with him helped Khan not take offense to it. "And while I agree with the Doctor's implied assessment that you are confident, a stroke of the ego from time to time can be beneficial, reassuring." 

“There’s no point in having friends and fellow officers who don’t feel the freedom to speak the truth to you,” Jim said. “Although, yeah, I’m even less formal than most of my fellow captains, but it makes for a smoother operation, I’ve found. Everyone knows when it’s time to shut up and listen to orders and when it’s good to freely share opinions. Sometimes people can go one way too far, but that’s just part of learning and being human...or superhuman.” He grinned easily at Khan. “Even you’re getting used to it. Making fun. Not taking offense where none is meant. It’s a good look on you. Relaxed and at ease with yourself and others. You should try it out more often.”

"So- the ion storm nearly melting my muscle mass is a relaxing look on me?" It was difficult for Khan to see what Kirk saw, but he added a little smile and shook his head. Crossing his legs, Khan then folded his hands in his lap. The extreme high frequency heat of the ion storm had felt good, then uncomfortable, but now that he was underground, the remaining warmth was back to feeling good again. "In six hours, I will go to the surface to see if there are any observable changes." 

Jim snorted and said, “Well, that wasn’t my fault. You’re the crazy one who went out in an ion storm.” He moved back to the blanket, the rocky ground hurting his ass, and folded his legs under him again. “And you’re volunteering to do it again.” 

He set aside the battered tricorder and took a sip of water for himself. “But no, the fact that you’re willing to try being less formal and even teasing is a good look for you. I value that people feel comfortable around me, that I can be respected, but not to the point where people think I’m untouchable and untouched.”

"Since I am able, I find the venture necessary, Captain. Don't you? Should the storm clear, your communicator may still only work on the surface and re-establishing contact with your crew is paramount." Khan said, then paused, realizing he was being quite formal just after Kirk had suggested it was better when he wasn't. "I find formality respectful, but direct and honest. It it something I value." He added, since they each had different methods for achieving the the sort of leadership each of their people responded the best to. "However, I understand that this makes me appear untouchable. And I admit, Captain, that is by design. Though again, perhaps no longer relevant." 

“Does that mean you’d prefer that I call you Mr. Singh? Or Sir? No, I take it back, I’ll never call you that… Last person I called Sir was my jackass of a stepfather, so there’s no respect there. I could try Mr. Singh, but I always feel like an ass when I use it. That’s not my way of being respectful, normally, but if you prefer it. Hey, is Khan even your name? It sounds more like a title. Is Noonien the most informal way to address you? Actually, Singh is like a title, too, isn’t it? A special address only some get to be called.” He paused and looked a little sheepish. “Sorry, tangent. Anyway, I’m happy to call you what you prefer, but don’t hold it against me when I slip.”

“As for going back up there, I guess you’re right, but do try not to come back as fried Khan, right? You might not really be injured, but it’s not good to come back all steamed and red around the edges. Your look is deathly pale, and I think you should stick with it.”

Turning his head to watch Kirk go through his stream of consciousness, Khan lightly raised a single hand for quiet, wanting Kirk to take pause in over-addressing the issue. "Khan will do, Captain." Though he still had every intention of calling Kirk, Captain, while on his ship and still remained his prisoner.

"Thank you for your concern, however. I have no intention of being reckless with my health, nor our valuable resources." Khan said, eyes drifting to the pack and their food and water rations. "If it becomes too much to bear, or if I must consume more then my share of the water, I will no longer make trips to the surface."

“Khan it is then. That seems to fit you best, anyway. It’s a regal name for a regal being. Or at least someone who carries himself with the bearing of a regal being.”

“We have lots of water,” Jim said. “It really would have to be one damned long ion storm before we ran low of supplies. Or one of us would have to eat and drink like a large horse.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m more likely to die of my own stench… I hate not being able to wash.” 

Khan licked his lips thoughtfully, remaining quiet for several minutes before suggesting. "Every three days, then." He said suddenly. "Not knowing how long we will be here, every three days, you should use the cloth, a few rations of water and wash." He said, quite decisive on the matter. "It will prevent sores or sickness from remaining in the same environment for long term exposure, and- should prove as a bit of a morale boost." If it would comfort Kirk in an uncomfortable situation, it was necessary. 

Jim looked at him curiously and then smiled a little at him, saying, “You do find me offensive to your delicate nose!” His expression morphed into something more serious, and he said, “If it comes to that, I may take you up on that suggestion. There just comes a point when one is loathe to live with oneself.” He didn’t elaborate on some of that experience, knowing Khan understood a little more now. “You should wash, too, though. You appear to be the fastidious sort.”

Khan matched the subtle smile, "Not at all, Captain. You smell like one of mine, remember." He said, folding his hands in his lap again, leaning back slightly against the wall before taking a deep breath as if to make a point. "But it is important to your health, so you will do it." He said, not as a commanding officer would tell his junior, but more that of an older brother telling a younger brother how things were; as a matter of fact, not option. 

“Oh, really?” Jim asked, with a smirk. “I will, will I?” He rolled his eyes at Khan. “Don’t get all bossy or anything.” He wasn’t offended, though, more amused by the tone of the order. He would have been angry had Khan seriously started issuing commands.

"I won't," Khan said, not reading into it right away before he added, "I wasn't." Surely Kirk would know when Khan was being bossy, after all he had a very commanding voice and knew how to use it, when the situation called for it. "We are simply addressing important terms for our cohabitation together, Captain." 

Both of Jim’s eyebrows went up, and he leaned in toward Khan. “I sleep on the right side and need a bit of extra cushioning to suppress snoring. Don’t you dare wake me before dawn or I will bring the wrath of Kirk down upon you. We’ll share protein nibs and chocolate equally, but the gummy worms are all mine. I don’t share those. If I bathe, you bathe. As perfect as you may be, you’re still going to get odiferous, and I don’t have the strange family love for scenting you do.”

"Very well, Captain. You see. Now we are in agreement," he said with a slight nod, glancing at Kirk out of the corner of his eye. Rations would be shared fairly, except for the apparent gummy worms, which Khan doubted existed; after all, who put that sort of thing in emergency kits? "Is there anything else?"

Jim grinned and rummaged in his pack, pulling out a couple of small game boards and brandishing them to Khan. “To keep me of dying from boredom, you’ll learn to play some games and like it.” He grinned, eyes bright and playful again, hoping Khan caught on this time. “We should also check in with the Enterprise on a regular schedule, just in case there’s a break in the weather. Your internal clock is pretty near flawless, I assume.”

Khan was surprised that games would be considered essential tools in a survival kit. It wasn't edible, or useful for self defense, or even a shelter for that matter, simply put they weren't practical for anything other than human entertainment. Which Khan found to be interesting, but did not speak against. Because their function was still quite basic, to help pass the time, to be stimulating, but also keep those, left behind, such as themselves, from getting too depressed about their situation. It was very modern thinking, Khan thought. "Yes, Captain. I can accurately keep track of time for you. How often would you like to check in? And what is this one?" He asked, holding up one of the small game boards that Kirk had started to unpack. 

“Battleship!” Jim said happily. “Updated for modern times.” He opened the board to show Khan all the little pieces, even as he said, “We should check in every hour to see if we can reach them. They’ll be checking on the half hour marks, so we don’t run over each other. The communicator has a power source that can last years, so at least we don’t have to worry about that.” As he showed off the little game, it became obvious that the board was not standard Starfleet issues. The intricately carved pieces were just too fancy to be anything but personal. “I also have some games that can be played solo.”

"Very well, Captain. Every hour." Khan examined the pieces, understanding that they were meant to represent navy vessels. It was not his strength, war at sea. He understood the land and how people navigated natural barriers much better than the ocean, which to him, was much more unpredictable then people. Then again, to say that battle at sea was not his strength simply only meant that Khan did not overly excel at it and would prefer land if given the choice. But his version of 'not a strength' was still quite advanced warfare by modern standards. "Now, please explain the rules."

Jim beamed and explained the modified rules, which featured intelligence collection to pinpoint their ships and made the game a more strategic effort that stressed analytic thought over blind guesses. This was a great way to learn your opponent’s mind, as well as get to use your own. He hoped Khan might see the benefit in the game’s play. He also wanted to see that mind in action on something that wasn’t threatening to kill his crew.

"Very well." Khan agreed to the instructions Kirk had given him before he began to set his game board into play. He took time in this, glancing up to the other man a few times before he nodded slightly indicating that he was ready to play this game. "Before we begin this battle, Captain," Khan said, his hands on either side of his board, keeping it on his lap, "will you surrender?" He felt that was just as much fair play as anything. 

Jim laughed softly and asked playfully, “What would be your terms of surrender?” He found the very serious attitude of his opponent amusing and stimulating in turn. Jim may not be able to beat Khan, but he would do his best to be a challenge. Besides, he loved Battleship and not even a superman with an advanced intellect could spoil it for him.

"Two of my senior officers would be assigned to take command of each of your ships. Your crew would remain in the positions they were trained for. And you, Captain, would join me on the command ship as my first officer. Together we will dominate the oceans. Conquer by assimilation. Not making future enemies, but future allies. One people. One banner." Khan kept his eyes locked on Kirk. "What do you say to these terms?"

Jim’s grin expanded until his mouth felt a little tight at the corners. “I will not point out that accepting your terms negates the whole point of having the game,” he said, eyes shining big and blue in the low lit cave. “I find your terms interesting, otherwise, though not exactly appealing. They are based on my acceptance that even starting on equal footing, I am completely overmatched by you, which I am not willing to just agree with. Second, they rely on my belief that my crew and myself, not to mention all the peoples we protect, will be treated by equals by you once you have ‘won,’ which is based solely on your word, without any further assurances. We would not be one people, one banner. We would be your people in control and the rest of us forced to accept your orders and command. That would be doing my people an injustice, as well as denying them the ability to prove they are also capable of handling themselves in this situation. Therefore, I must respectfully decline your offer. However, I will allow you to surrender with much more favorable terms- you maintain your current position and advance no further.” He flashed his smile and said, “Those are definitely more generous terms than you are willing to extend to me.” 

A flash of seriousness crossed his face, eyes going sad in an instant. “There was only one man who ever offered me a First Officer position that I would have willingly and happily served under, and he is dead now.”

"I am sorry, Captain, I cannot accept your terms, either." Khan said with a slight frown. A part of him was honestly disappointed that Kirk would not consider the offer. That he would refuse, even theoretically, to stand at his side as his first officer. Khan had seen the potential strength in their unity and was disappointed that Kirk did not. Looking back down at his board, Khan kept still and quiet for a time. He understood that he had deprived Kirk of someone precious to him when Pike had died, but it was not something that could be undone. "Your move, Captain," he said simply. 

Jim contemplated his board, too, working out some potential strategies. He tossed out normal strategies, knowing the augment would be way ahead of him there. His best bet would be to try some unorthodox methods, which might work out better for him in the long run. He set aside Khan’s frown for later, when he didn’t need his brain for the game. There was too much there to dissect and focus on a strategy that might have a shot of beating Khan. Finally, he moved his first piece and then looked up at his opponent. “All right.”

As was perhaps expected, Khan was both methodical and creative in his approach. The game was slow at first, testing the waters as it were. However when Khan scored his first hit on one of Kirk's ships, the man did not seemed overly pleased with it; then again he was taking the game quite seriously rather than experiencing any joy from it. So he turned his eyes to Kirk, watching how he would deal with this first blow, feeling that this more then anything, would truly set the tone for understanding his strategy. 

Jim, on the other hand, loved Battleship and made no secret of the fact that he was enjoying himself and Khan’s play. The augment was as unique a player as anyone he had ever met, although the old Spock was shockingly devious and surprising in his moves. Jim never could quite beat the older Vulcan and wondered if his having served for years (and been best friends with) the other version of himself didn’t give him insight into Jim’s play. Thus, he was used to losing, as well as winning (which he usually did), and didn’t change expressions at all when he had to admit that Khan had scored a hit on his first ship. His expression remained one of open glee and contentment, happy in the sheer knowledge that he and Khan were playing together. 

He moved one of his pieces, continuing to gather intelligence, rather than taking a strike at one of Khan’s ships at this point. Lifting his head from the board, he asked, “Are you having fun? You look more like you’re fighting off an attack of gas.”

"I am not certain I would consider this fun, Captain." Khan said, taking his next move and another hit, making the kill as clean and as quick as the game allowed for. "But you are smiling and appear to be enjoying some facet of this exercise that I have as of yet to understand." But his dislike hardly mattered. He had agreed to the game and was now playing, prepared to see it through to the end. 

Jim frowned and said, “Well, that’s not cool, Khan. If it’s not fun, the entire point is lost.” He sat back and looked at the older man. “Sure, you can learn a lot about each other this way, and that’s a good exercise and a way to build camaraderie, but the point is to enjoy yourself. And if that’s not happening, then-” He stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry at Khan.

“I am playing your game, Captain. Am I required to have fun in the process?" The concept was still too new. And telling Khan to have fun was much more of a task rather than something that would ever come naturally. Enjoying himself was entirely too selfish a concept. Even now, he was about function. Reading into how Kirk handled simulated war, or tracking his thought process as they played. "Do you no longer wish to play?" He asked after Kirk stuck his tongue out at him.

Jim reeled back a little and then said, “I didn’t at any time mean to imply that you had to play anything with me,” in a hurt tone. “The point is to have fun. If you’re not enjoying yourself, then we’ll stop. I’ll do one of the solo games. You can try something else, too, if you like. I also have a PADD full of reading material. Never know when that’ll come in useful.” He moved and pulled the PADD out of his pack, setting it down within Khan’s reach. “It must be near time to call the Enterprise anyway.”

"Another eight minutes." Khan said, speaking to the timeline in which they should attempt to contact the Enterprise, before answering the rest. Keeping his hands on his game board, Khan appeared still quite ready to play. But then again, play, was quite a loose term. It was an exercise, it was a task, which meant he intended to give it his full attention. "I have upset you." Khan said slowly, feeling that this was one of those things that did not translate well between the cultures, of their species. If the game perhaps was not about winning, and more about experiencing a process, then it might be possible that Khan could learn to have fun, to enjoy himself. As it was, the game was about winning, strategy and strength and competition. Tasks, to his mind, not subject of fun. "Do you no longer wish to be my opponent?" 

Jim sighed and said, “I- yes, I’m upset. But more by the implication that I forced you to do this and that you’re approaching it like a real battle. I’m competitive, but not that competitive. I want this to be about enjoying yourself, not being my opponent. I guess this is just something else you’re not used to, but I don’t really want to continue in this vein. I think that’s the wrong message to send about our interactions. So, yes, I don’t want to be your opponent anymore, and I don’t mean that only in the playing of Battleship.”

It was a sort of rejection Khan had never experienced before. So he sat there quietly a moment with a frown before removing his pieces and folding the board back up in order to return it to Kirk. "You did not force me," he said finally, "I wanted to participate in your exercise." But asking him to not take it seriously was a difficult concept. And now that Kirk further explained that he did not wish them to be opponents, in any aspect of future encounters together, Khan then suggested something else. "Do you have a game that is based upon partnership?" 

“You did? You do?” Jim asked, looking confused. “That’s not what I took away from your responses before.” He paused and then folded his hands in his lap. “Why do you think I asked you to uh, take part in Battleship? I mean, how did you interpret my motives? And what were you getting out of it?”

"You wished to play a game in order to pass the time, did you not? For a stimulating activity that did not require constant conversation. The game engages two players, in which individual battle plans are devised based on strategy against your opponent. In the process, you learn where your opponent places defense and offense, and to which they subscribe more value. You wanted to play in order to see if you could beat me, and if not, be able to read into my way of thinking for future strategies." Khan mirrored Kirk's behavior and folded his hands as well. 

“Well, you’re partially right, anyway,” Jim said. “I did want to pass the time in stimulating activity...mentally stimulating-” a ghost of his grin appeared “-and I can’t deny the opportunity to see your mind work is fascinating. However, the most important goal was to learn to interact together in social ways...to have fun together. That’s different from functioning in a work situation, but it’s important for at least your time on the Enterprise. Well, maybe I should say it’s important to me. Maybe it doesn’t matter to you, and I shouldn’t push for things you’re not interested in.”

Khan gave Kirk his full attention when he spoke, nodding slightly. "We can discuss this further if you like, Captain. However it is time that you check to see if communication with the Enterprise is possible." He indicated, not losing sight of that task at least. The rest would be put on hold until that was accomplished. 

Jim snorted and pulled out his communicator, which gave a particularly loud squall of interference this time. “Ugh, no.” He clicked it shut and asked, “Can you still hear the storm? Has the intensity changed at all from what you can tell?” He looked up at the small exit. “That’s not an invitation for you to head up to be fried again, by the way.”

"I can still hear it." Khan answered. "It is still registering on a high frequency, but the wind has nearly come to rest. The movement on the surface is from the electricity alone. I cannot presume- but I would nevertheless suggest that we are currently sitting in the eye of the storm. Which could very well mean this experience is half over."

Jim nodded and said, “That hearing of yours is pretty handy. We’ll be lucky if it passes that fast. Do you think it’s safe for you to go up and take another look? And by safe, I mean not result in another steamed fried Khan. Cause I prefer you not smoking at the edges.”

"It is tolerable, Captain." Khan held out his hand, palm up. "Do you wish me to try your communicator on the surface?" Before, Khan had pushed it by going twice in a row and he had required time to recover after the fact, to sit and rest and drink water. He would be more careful now, only because he did not wish to waste resources. If it were up to him, Khan would remain on the surface for far longer, but he was not in a position to do so. He was never truly free in this way; not when he lived, and fought and survived and one day would die for his 72.

Jim hesitated, not really wanting to put Khan in that spot and asked, “What does tolerable mean? Please tell me the truth.” He looked at Khan with his intensest gaze, wanting the honesty.

Turning his hand palm down, Khan refolded it back on his lap before speaking. "Tolerable means, it will not render me incapable of movement. My skin will not burn from my body under such short exposure. It will not scar or permanently damage me." Khan took a breath, then added, since Kirk appeared to want the entire truth of things. "Tolerable means, it is uncomfortable, but manageable."

“Painful?” Jim asked, pushing a little more. “Pain is not something I ask people to endure lightly. Especially if there is small chance of a positive outcome. You may not be permanently damaged, but that’s not the only consideration.”

"Yes, it is painful." Khan answered. Not that he would let his pain show, as that would then have fallen into the intolerable category. "However Captain, I would like to take the time to remind you. I am not Starfleet. I am not a member of your crew. Out of respect, I follow your wishes, but the truth is Captain, you cannot order me, one way or another. I am offering to go to the surface to make contact. You are not asking me to do it. This is my choice."

Jim lifted his head and glared at Khan with more than a hint of real anger. “And I would remind you that you may not be a member of my crew, but you damn sure are under my command. And my word goes. You forget that and all this progress we’ve made is going to go south. Do you understand, Mr. Singh?”

This conversation was going very poorly, very quickly. "Do not presume, Captain." Khan snapped, "I may be your prisoner, but not for a moment should you believe that I am under your control." Khan might look very regal and well put together as Kirk previous mentioned, but he was still wild inside, vicious. Implying that he was under Kirk's command, his control, his will, did not sit well with the alpha male. 

“Step outside the boundaries and find out how very wrong you are,” Jim said with an equal chill. How lucky he was that Khan hadn’t managed to hide his true nature for much longer. How glad he was half of the cryotubes were still on Earth. He might not live to get off this rock now, but Khan would never see his crew again if that happened. Deep freeze for them all. And to think this had arisen from his desire not to see Khan hurt. But if the man wanted to go out in the storm and fry now… no, Jim still would say no. And if Khan went anyway, that would be the end to all of the progress they’d made. The end of any extra privileges and severe cutting back on his allowances even to visit the planets for his crew. 

Dropping his hands to the floor in fists, Khan had suddenly moved forward on all fours. His head was craned slightly to the side, but was moving in closer to get in Kirk's face the more the man now avoided him. "You wish to test me, Captain?" He growled, equally furious with Kirk and all but bearing his teeth. "Tell me. Or will you draw a line in the sand, so that I may dance upon it?" He sneered. "Does it make you feel powerful? Now it comes to it? How far will you go to make me submit?" 

Jim raised his head and did not flinch upon finding Khan a few inches away, but held his eyes with firmness. “Is that truly what you think a leader is- someone who makes others submit? Is that what you are to your crew, your family? A set of rules has been set before you, about which I am to ensure you follow, to the letter, if not with the spirit. You are, as my crew or any other person visiting or traveling with or upon the Enterprise is, under my command and in my sphere of responsibility. I am entrusted with ensuring the safety and proper function of my ship, crew and passengers. And that is humbling. A weight that rests upon my shoulders for as long as I wish to carry it. My crew signed up with that understanding. Your sentence was read to you and your agreement with it was your understanding. If that is not how you understand it, this entire effort is in error and will be terminated as of now. We will return you and your crew to Earth for alternative sentencing, which will be out of my hands and I assure you will be nowhere near as lenient. I will not stop you from dancing upon that line, Khan. Physically, I am incapable of stopping you, as well we both know. You can only stop yourself.”

But what did Kirk expect? Whether it was intended or not, Kirk was a constant show of power, of being able to dictate all the rules and make all the choices, while Khan could not. It was a constant blow to him, only irritating him further because the catalyst of all this had been in his desire to help Kirk make contact with his crew. He felt that Kirk was rubbing it in his face. Making him the exception, exercising constant control over him because he could.

And so it was, for a moment, Khan considered breaking the peace between them as he stared the other man down. To take control of the Enterprise, to take his people where he wanted, on his own terms. Of it not, risk being returned to Earth and the damage he could cause there instead. After all, that rage would never quite go away; it was in his engineering.

But instead of any of that, instead of speaking or doing something Kirk would later hold against him, Khan sat back once more. His back to the wall and his head turned away. There was nothing to say, Khan would always lose that battle. It was what got him here in the first place. 

Jim watched him for a moment, contemptuous and cold, before putting away the game they had been playing and pulling out another one. He began to play the solitary game, trusting now to his crew to find them and get them out. His stance remained stiff and untrusting, even though he forced himself to concentrate on the puzzle he was working, ignoring his companion. His heart ached a little in his ribs from the force of his anger, much of it directed at himself. What kind of fool was he, trying to understand such a creature? Khan was unbendable and unbending and viewed that as a strength, instead of the paralyzing weakness it was. His people would not be allowed the option to mingle with the rest of the Federation, his mind had returned to that conclusion. They would be left alone, as they wanted and deserved.

Of course, the niggle of his conscience reminded him, he was judging them based on Khan. But what else could he do? Khan was their leader, and he had to assume they would follow his lead. 

"An hour has passed." Khan said abruptly, breaking the silence that had fallen between them. His eyes were closed and head against the wall, and for the last few minutes it had looked like he was perhaps sleeping, except of course for suddenly speaking. He was still keeping track of time, reminding Kirk to check in once more to see if the Enterprise could be reached. He said nothing more, but simply shifted his head against the stone, finding the comfortable position he had lost by speaking. 

Jim had noticed it, too, but said, “Thank you,” in a courteous, but distant fashion, while pulling out his communicator. He tried another hail, frowned a little at the static, and put the communicator away again. He returned to his game, the puzzles only getting harder the further on you got. “You are still welcome to the PADD or any of the other games, should you want them,” he said in the same tone, before pulling out a bag of gummy worms from his pack. He opened them without looking and put one in his mouth, the sour and sweet flavors instantly making him feel a little better. There were good things in the universe. He was currently stranded with one of the not so great things, but that didn’t negate the rest.

"Hn." Khan barely grunted, acknowledging Kirk and his offer, but did not move. Returning to his state of near-rest, Khan remained still and quiet, much like he often did when in his cage on the Enterprise. He held no interest in games; clearly he did not understand their function properly. And socializing with Kirk only seemed to work out when there was a force field between them, and even then, not always. So he ignored the other man, choosing instead to fill his mind with his own imaginings instead. 

Jim finally tired of the game, after calling the Enterprise three times more, right on the hour and without allowing Khan to remind him. He put away PADD and gummy worms, headed for the far corner to take care of business, cleaned his hands, ate a dinner of a few protein nubs, a small piece of chocolate and a couple of water swallows (Khan had his own pack of foodstuffs, should he want them, after all), before stretching out to sleep again. He set a timer on his tricorder to remind him to check in with the Enterprise, arranged the pack more comfortably to use as a pillow and shut his eyes to rest.

He studiously did not think of how Khan had allowed him to use his leg for a pillow last night or his strangely serious offer to have him stand as his First Officer to rule the oceans together. Fuck, what a farce that idea was, even in jest. Khan would have slit his throat and tossed him overboard the first time Jim dared disagree with him. So, his tenure would have been about ten minutes.

With that amusing thought in mind, he fell into a dreamless sleep.


	6. Terms of Command

The night remained quiet, as the storm outside remained beyond human hearing. It was also still inside the cave as well, as Khan did not sneak off in the dead of night for the surface. He remained motionless, conserving his energy, passing his time without indulging in much need. He did not disturb Kirk as he slept and kept his hands to himself this time; there was no sense in seeking false comforts. And he did not bother to eat his next protein pellet until it had been six hours from his last one.

By mid-morning, the storm began to bellow and howl outside, echoing down into the cave, which drew in cold gusts of wind from time to time. The storm was moving again.

Jim woke up every hour, as his communicator alerted him, and checked the hailing frequencies to the Enterprise. After determining they were no better than before, he would glance over at Khan, confirm he was still an unmoving statue and then go back to sleep.

At just past 0500 hours, Jim’s communicator beeped and woke him up from a light doze. He sat up and answered, “Kirk here.”

“Captain,” Spock’s voice sounded as passive as ever, but Jim imagined a note of relief in it. “Are you and Mr. Singh well and ready to return to the Enterprise?”

“Ready and rarin’,” Jim said. “Give us a few minutes to clean up and then go ahead and beam us up.” He glanced back at Khan for a moment. “Kirk out.” He shut the communicator and then began to pack quickly. “Mr. Singh, what’s your final word on the planet?” he asked formally.

"It is not suitable to sustain a new colony at this time." Khan answered. Perhaps for Starfleet science teams and a protective dome to shelter them during the ion storms, but not for Khan and his people as a new settlement. "I ask that we may be allowed to look elsewhere." He said, packing the blanket in his bag before he stood.

“I think the next planet on the list looked pretty nice, if I remember the order correctly,” Jim said. “We have one stop in between, but-” the transporter beam started mid-sentence and carried them back to the Enterprise transporter room “-I’ll give you the information about the planet tomorrow,” he finished as they rematerialized on the platform. He turned and headed back into the room, smiling at Spock and Bones and the security team waiting for them. “Mr. Spock, see that Mr. Singh is returned to his cell. Bones, please do a few medical scans. He ventured into the ion storms a bit. I’ll check in with you both later.” Without a backward glance, he strolled out of the transporter room and toward his quarters for a shower and a change of uniform.

Relinquishing his bag on the transporter deck, Khan stepped down, hands free of anything he wouldn't be allowed back in his cage. He watched Kirk go, and only after he was gone did he turn his eyes towards Spock and the Doctor.

At the mention of Khan having been out in the ion storm, McCoy pulled out his medical tricorder and began to grumble to himself as he took initial readings right there on the spot. Spock and the security team then began to usher Khan down to the medical bay, remaining on site as McCoy continued to collect data from the augment.

Khan did not bother telling the doctor what he would find, but instead sat quietly on the medical bed, watching the man as his expression often turned from horrified to amazed to annoyed.

Bones finally said, “Well, as usual, your readings are all over the place and completely impossible. And as usual, you seem to be fine. So, we’ll just escort you back to your cell and keep an eye on your readings.” He made a disgruntled noise and moved to record a few more things in the computer, gesturing for security to take Khan back to his cell.

Meanwhile, Jim returned to the Bridge and got a full status on everything he missed during his time planetside. He ordered the Enterprise to leave orbit and head for their next mission, which was the exploration of some mineral-rich moons a few days warp from there. And then on to the next planet on the list of potentials for Khan’s people.

Now, there was a chore Jim was back to dreading…

With a sigh, he sent all the planet’s information to Khan, figuring the annoying augment would read it all in a night. But he made no plans to review it with him this time. What was the point? Khan didn’t care about what he thought of the planet or what Jim’s crew might learn and try to tell him. He made plans to send a pure security team with the augment next time, while he and the scientific teams did their own work separately. Khan could make his own decision, without any input from anyone else. Maybe that would be satisfactory to him. Save the rest of them the trouble, too.

Still, as he considered their prisoner and his obnoxious behavior, Jim remembered the strange fondness in Khan’s memories of his horses and felt the return of his curiosity on that point. So, he looked in to finding a few pictures of Khan with his mounts, in between reading reports, signing a bunch of annoying paperwork and otherwise making up for being gone for a few days. He managed to locate one of Khan on a very fancy horse in what looked like a parade and sent that to the augment, as well as saving it for his own records. He would look more into that later...after dinner with people he actually wanted to interact with. And maybe he could persuade Chekov to play Battleship with him and rid himself of the dirty taste in his mouth over his last game.

Once Khan was returned to his cell, the man immediately sought out the shower and began to wash himself. He lingered there for a while, just standing under the warm water with a sigh. It was unlike him, as generally his showers were short and efficient. But having missed a few days, Khan just wanted to let it pour over him.

After a time however, Khan turned off the water and dressed in the fresh pair of clothes that were provided to him on the floor by his bed. After dressing, he took up his usual position on his bed, remaining behind his privacy screen so that he did not have to endure watchful eyes. However, just as he began to get settled on his bed, the PADD on the floor made a small alert chime, then a few minutes later, another.

Reaching forward, Khan picked it up and opened up the new files that had been sent to him. One was regarding the next planet the Enterprise intended to explore, the second, an old photograph, long since preserved digitally, of Khan and one of his horses. A delicate one, Paris, he used for ceremony mostly. "Hello my old friend." Khan said quietly, stroking a finger along the neck, trying to remember the velvet of his short hair.

*            *            *

Jim forgot about it for a few days, full of ship’s business and prep for the new mission. But when he found himself with a few spare minutes not long after, he continued his research, digging up a few more photos of Khan with various horses and finally, a video. He sent them all to the augment and watched the video himself. Unsurprisingly, Khan was an excellent horseman and showed more care toward his mount that Jim had seen him extend to anybody not in a crytoube. The people in the video appeared to be servants and were treated as such, reminding Jim rather strongly of how Khan treated his crew and himself. It was not exactly surprising.

The images brought Khan a great deal of comfort. Even if it made him miss old faces and those long dead, it kept him from fixating on anything too dark. And while the security personnel and cameras never interacted with Khan before, recently they managed to observe Khan quietly having conversations with the images in his hands.

An hour or so however after sending the last upload, Kirk's PADD chimed in response. It had been hacked, and a very raw, plain text message appeared on the screen: _Thank you, Captain_. It was from Khan, of course. And hacking the PADD to send outgoing messages would likely cost him more then a few privileges, but the silence between the two stubborn men had gone on long enough. So Khan reached out in the only way he could.

Jim had not disallowed Khan’s exercise, though he did not volunteer to join him again, nor did he do more than scan the reports of his behavior, before signing them. He was on the PADD when it chimed with a new message, writing a long missive to Starfleet Command about their current mission charting the uninhabitable moons, which were nonetheless rich in minerals that were essential to various machines used by the Federation. He recommended annexing them, as long as there were no prior claims.

He opened the message, glad to get away from the tedious report and snorted once. “Don’t you mean, Captain-in-name-only?” he sent back, not really feeling generous at the moment.

The cursor blinked on the other end before another response was sent: _You are James Kirk, Captain of the Enterprise. She is your ship, and you command her crew_.

Jim rolled his eyes and went back to his work, finishing his report to Starfleet and sending it with a little sigh. He reviewed a bunch of Bones’ general medical reports, eventually coming to the one with Khan’s report from their sojourn on the first potential planet. He snickered at Bones’ obvious disgruntlement with the augment’s readings and then signed off on that report, as well. However, it reminded him of the message he’d received from Khan, and he wondered at the augment’s decision to hack into his PADD to say thank you. And then shrugged mentally, deciding it wasn’t worth the trouble of trying to parse out Khan’s motives. His message to Jim was the same- I am not under your domain and don’t respect your command.

So, he typed a quick, “You’re welcome,” to Khan and then went back to his work for a moment, before adding, “You did have nice horses.”

Over the next several hours, as shifts changed over and many crewmembers went to bed, Khan remained awake in his room. Even as the overhead lights dimmed from bright white to soft blue, Khan remained awake, humming wordlessly to himself. The tone was low and soothing, resembling that of a lullaby.

It was however new behavior from Khan and made the new shift of guards agitated and suspicious. After an hour of humming, one of the guards filed a report on the matter, feeling it was important to document. Three hours in, five more reports had been filed, all filling up Captain Kirk's inbox. As well trained and professional as the security team was, it had proved unsettling to hear Khan sing softly to himself for hours without rest. Was he up to something? What language was it? What was he saying? Why the sudden change in mood? Why was he happy? Were they at risk?

Jim woke up to a series of reports from the security shifts watching over Khan, saying that he was acting strangely. The singing was making them edgy and also worried that something might be wrong with the augment. With a disgruntled sigh, he informed Spock that he might be late to Alpha shift, due to needing to check-in with their ‘guest,’ took a shower, got dressed and fed himself on the way to Khan’s accommodations.

Once there, he shooed the guards out of the room, with a promise to call them immediately if needed, and stood for a moment, listening to Khan. He frowned a little, feeling like he was intruding on something private and wondering what the right way to interrupt might be. After all, it wasn’t like Khan was doing anything wrong. If he were anyone else, this would hardly be an issue.

Of course, if he were anyone else, he wouldn’t have to be under constant surveillance.

Jim cleared his throat lightly and said, “Pardon the intrusion, Mr. Singh, but is everything alright? Or as alright as the current situation allows?”

The gentle song stopped abruptly, and Khan looked out from behind his privacy screen with a peculiar expression. He stood, holding his PADD at his side, then approached the barrier, looking slightly worried now. What was wrong that he should have Kirk come to visit him at this hour? "Yes, Captain." Khan said carefully. "Is everything alright with you? This visit comes quite late from your usual visitations." He noted, even though he could see that Kirk was freshly washed, the man still looked rather tired.

“Early, actually,” Jim said with a slightly awkward attempt at a smile. “Actually, I was wondering if you’re feeling all right. You’ve been, well, singing to yourself all night. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it’s unusual enough behavior to warrant notice.” He studied Khan’s expression, wondering at the worry there. “Is there something the matter?”

Quietly regarding Kirk for a moment, Khan glanced just past him, noticing that the security team was no longer present. "Ah." He realized, this wasn't because something was wrong that Khan should know about, but rather because the others found something wrong with his behavior. However, seeing that room had been cleared, Khan spoke a little more freely than he perhaps would have if others had been present.

"I am well, Captain." Khan said, touching a hand to his own chest. "My song was not meant to trouble your crew. It is a lullaby, a lament for my horses, old friends, and long dead lovers that you happened to supply me with." He said, then added in the next breath to show that such sorrowful things did not upset him in traditional ways. "I have nearly finished the tasks you have permitted me to work on. I was hoping to send them to your inbox, as well to the engineers working on the project by breakfast." The familiar faces in the photos and the stream of song it had inspired had focused Khan in a way that was not based out of anger.

“It did make them a little nervous, but only in that it seemed out of kind for you,” Jim said. “I’ll let them know to let you be and not worry about it. Should I stop digging and sending you the information I find? I didn’t mean to trigger anything.” His expression lightened a little at the mention of the projects, and he said, “Yes, please do send them to us. Would you like anything more to do? Or is there anything you’re interested in?”

"The files were an unexpected gift, Captain." Khan said gently. They had triggered him, but not in a way that would endanger others. "Should you find any more, I would be grateful to have them at my fingertips." He said, then looked down to the PADD in his hand, thoughtful for a moment before raising his gaze. "This was meant to be a peace offering to you, Captain." He said at last. His lips parted with a shallow breath as he shifted his weight, legs locking as he raised his head firmly, "An apology, Captain." He said, even though it was clearly not something that came easily to him. "Being in this position is difficult for me, as I am sure it would be for you." He admitted. "When I finish this project, I will work on any others you wish." He said, showing his willingness. "However, considering our experience on the last planet, my personal interest currently rests with terraforming and agricultural methods."

Jim made a noise under his breath and then said, “Thank you, Khan, I appreciate the apology.” He paused and made the slightest gesture of uncertainty. “The things you said ... about my wanting you to submit ... that’s not what this is about. It’s not what I want. If that’s what it feels like sometimes, then I’m sorry, too.”

“I’m sure we can get you projects related to those things,” he said. “You can even design your own, like I mentioned before.” He remained upright and professional, though, feeling twice shy.

The apology from Kirk was appreciated as well, so Khan nodded as he added. "I understand, Captain." Then he moved a step closer to the barrier, "You are a good man, and you have not abused your power with me. I therefore will do my best not to goad you further into confrontation." He sighed, it was on Khan to find acceptance in the fact that he was under Kirk's command, without it leaving a bitter taste. As so much of who he was revolted against the notion. He would have to find his own way; even though accepting command over him still felt like submission. "It is difficult for me." He said again with a slight frown, it felt too much like giving up. "But my apology is sincere."

Jim studied him and said, “All right. Thank you. I understand to a degree, but at Starfleet Academy, they do help you learn to follow, as well as lead. Before that, though, I didn’t like anyone telling me what to do. At most times.” His expression turned slightly amused, thinking he didn’t always mind in bed.

“Would you like to design your own experiments?” he asked, completely professional again in a second. “There’s space in the science labs, if you really want to set up your own. There would have to be restrictions of course, but-”

"Then please understand, I did not have Starfleet to guide me as you did, Captain." Respect for rank and titles was there, but Khan was not bred nor raised to follow authority. So it would continue to be a difficult lesson for him. Especially since Khan would have responded better if he were treated like a guest, then a prisoner, but that ship had long since sailed. "But I would be grateful for the opportunity, Captain. If you are willing to arrange it."

Jim looked at him for a moment and then nodded once, saying, “I’ll arrange it.” He blew out a harsh breath and said, “I didn’t know you felt that way about things. I want to be able to trust you, Khan, but you dealt a real blow to that planetside. The way you sneered at me for thinking I could ‘command’ you. The contempt. That’s not easy to let slide off my back, although I’m grateful for the apology and that you restrained yourself afterward.”

There was a flare inside Khan to challenge Kirk again, to dare him to command him. But this time it was pressed down, ignored. "I wish to keep peace between us, Captain. And when the time comes, part on good terms." Or good enough, as the overall situation allowed. "May I please inquire, Captain." Khan began slowly after pausing quietly for a moment. "How it is you view our dynamic?" The question was simply and direct and not meant to be challenging. Khan conceded that the way he had viewed things had too many repeating errors to it. It was time to see it from Kirk's point of view.

“Putting aside all of the personal,” Jim said, “and the complications of your being a Federation prisoner, you’re a passenger aboard my ship. That means I am responsible for your welfare, and you are responsible for following Starfleet rules and my commands, when necessary. Even with the complications, my expectations of you are the same as they would be for any other guest. I don’t ask more of you in the sense of respecting my rank and authority than I do of anyone else.” He lifted his chin and asked, “What did you think it meant when you agreed to this?”

"I was always under the impression it was the duty of every prisoner of war, to escape their captor." Khan began, building up to his answer. "But when we first came to terms, that became one of the things I abandoned. To me, this meant there would be civility between us. A mutual respect."

"However, sense of equality suddenly felt one-sided when you declared on the planet, that I was under your command. This was not something that had occurred to me, Captain. As you observed, it did not sit well with me. As I associate being under someone else's command as being a submissive servant. And because in my heart, it felt like defeat." Being captured hadn't meant defeat to Khan, but accepting Kirk's command over him did. "It has taken some reflection. And the photos of those lost to me forever have helped in this regard. I was defeated, long before now. It has taken me some time to come to terms with it. But I accept that now. I am under your command."

Jim blinked a few times, processing the statement as a whole, and then straightened to his full height, spine as erect as Khan’s. “I thank you for that honor,” he said, feeling it was best to meet that kind of declaration with the same formality and civility. “I have never viewed anyone under my command as somehow being a servant or cowed or submissive to my authority. I would hope, per your viewings of my interactions with my crew, that you will see that it is indeed the opposite. I value their opinions, even their challenges to decisions they think are wrong, as long as it doesn’t cross the line to insubordination, which is a line I trust them to know.”

He paused again to consider his words, the augment’s statement of defeat seeming in complete opposition to everything they were trying to accomplish. And yet, also understandable. “I can see,” he said carefully, “how the past feels like a defeat, especially given everything you and your people lost. But I wish for your future to feel hopeful, like a potential victory, if not an actual one yet. You are not defeated in that sense. Your freedom is soon at hand, with the family you care about.” He looked hopefully at Khan, eyes bright again.

Khan nodded solemnly. Right now he couldn't think too much on freedom, when he had just handed authority over to Kirk. This by no means meant that Khan was giving up on the potential success of the future, but instead had come to accept their roles; Kirk had the power to command him. He felt little freedom in that, unlike those who enjoyed direction and orders, rules and guidelines to follow. Though he did appreciate the clarity of his position now. He understood where he stood. Khan felt his people would not approve if they ever found out, but that was a problem for another day.

"Have hope for us then, and I shall trust it." Khan said simply, that was now Kirk's area; and Khan would follow under that command.

Jim felt momentarily awed by the gravity of that statement, the implication that everything in Khan’s life was his to command. He wondered if that was the way it was under the augments. You literally gave up all your control to your leader, no matter what you thought of that leader, once you agreed to be under his or her command.

“I’ve always had hope for your people,” he said, “or I wouldn't have argued and volunteered for this in the first place. It’s not just the stain of a guilty conscience there, on behalf of all of Starfleet, but I’ll confess to that, too. I never lost that hope, even when I was mad enough to spit nails at you.”

He had vowed to himself not to become involved with Khan again, but given the current circumstances, decided to test the truth of the augment’s statement. “I’d like to talk to you later today about the next planet for investigation. We could discuss it after, but if you’d do me the favor, I’d like to talk over dinner. And before you say it, that’s not the kind of thing I would command anyone to do. If you want this to be a strictly business meeting, I’ll speak with you after dinner.”

"Thank you Captain, for your hope." Khan said, seemingly less sorrowful now. His jaw relaxed and he even appeared to smile slightly. Though as Kirk then invited to speak with Khan over dinner, he turned his head slightly, curious and intrigued. The implications were hard to ignore: after dinner meant strictly business, during dinner meant business about the planet, but something else as well? Not related to the planet or resettlement? Something personal? Or another task, perhaps? In any case, Khan rather be permitted to know more, then less. "Yes, Captain. Over dinner, if you like."

“Excellent. Thank you. The chef is supposed to be making a mean chicken parmesan tonight, I and I’m looking forward to that. It’s always nicer with a bit of company, as well.” Jim noted the slight smile, the relaxation of Khan’s state, and tried to echo it with his own. “I’ll talk to Commander Spock about your interest in conducting some experiments of your own. If you will, please come up with some designs, that will facilitate the discussion, as well as intrigue him. That’s always a good way to persuade him to do things. Is there anything else, Mr. Singh, that needs discussion right now?”

Khan nodded once at the instruction. It would be easy enough for him to draw up a proposal, as soon as he finished his first project, as promised. "Nothing that I am aware of, Captain. Though-" before Kirk left, he wanted to clarify. "May I still sing?" If it upset Kirk's crew, and therefore upset him, it would have to cease. But he wasn't quite finished saying goodbye, and wanted to continue his song.

Jim winced slightly at the question and said, “Yes, you may. In fact, please accept my apology for having interrupted you. I understand now that you were doing something personal and important to you.” He paused again and glanced over Khan’s cell, the blank walls. “If I might, would you like to choose some pictures from those I’ve sent you to hang on your walls?”

At the suggestion, Khan turned his head slowly, looking back to one wall, then to another. It was an almost completely sterile environment for the very simple reason that it was meant to hold just about anything; human, alien, plague, virus or fungus. It was a place to keep something unwanted and dangerous, captive. It was not meant for comfort. Khan blinked slowly as he turned his gaze back on Kirk. "That would be quite a gift, Captain." But Kirk had the right idea. The old photos had calmed Khan, and having them on the walls would ensure that their effect on him would be lingering and lasting. "Please."

“Choose a few and what size you’d like, and we’ll make it happen,” Jim promised. “If I might, I rather like the one of you on the fancy horse...in a parade, I believe. You were both all dressed up.” His face split into a warm grin at the memory of the picture.

Khan shared the smile most willingly. "Paris had very fine features. An Akhal Teke, an ancient breed known for their endurance and intelligence. He would not allow anyone else to touch him." The horse had bonded to Khan alone, which also was not uncommon. "Though I do think he liked the fancy dress and parade and attention more than anyone else." Khan said, the memory was bittersweet. "Yes, that would be a good one to have," he agreed.

Jim chuckled softly and shook his head. Figures Khan would have a horse with an ancient bloodline, smarts, strength and loyalty only to him. “Send me a message with the size you want. There are a couple of excellent artists aboard who’ll make you a print and frame to marvel at ... unless you want to do those things yourself.”

"I trust your artists, Captain. Thank you." Though the more he thought about it, the more he considered asking that they crop him out of the portrait and provide him with just the image of his horse in parade dress. But he would have to think on it at any rate. After a moment however he spoke up, "If you return to your bed now, you may still get another hour and half worth of sleep before your shift, Captain."

Jim yawned at the reminder and stretched himself out, before relaxing into a more comfortable posture from the one he’d been adopting. “I don’t have a lot of success getting back to sleep once I’m up. But thank you for the consideration.” He decided to go down to Engineering and check in with Scotty. The man was always up at crazy hours and had interesting projects to tell his captain. And Jim did love hearing about his gray lady. “I’ll check-in later. Don’t forget the experimental designs.” The last was a faint tease.

"Of course not, Captain. I will have the preliminary designs prepared for your Commander Spock before shift break." It was far too soon for Khan to interpret the attempt at friendly, familiar behavior. For the time being, Khan was adjusting to where he stood; it might feel like nothing had changed from Kirk's perspective, but Khan was on new ground and was being careful with it for these initial few steps.

“Thank you. I’ll talk to you later, Mr. Singh. Try to get some rest yourself, huh? I know you've been up all night.” With a last wave over his shoulder, Jim left and sent the guards back in with instructions to allow Khan to sing for as long and as loud as he wanted.

*            *            *

Jim walked in to the brig and waved to the guards waiting for him. He had arranged for a dinner with Khan in the Officers’ Mess and encouraged his other Senior Staff to be there, as well, to show Khan a united, but willing to be friendly, front. Still, their dinner would be private, at one of the small tables near the back, where Jim thought Khan might feel less oppressed. He paused in front of the cell, as Khan was nowhere in view at the moment, and asked in a normal tone, “Khan, are you ready for dinner?”

He admitted to himself that he was nervous about this dinner. Khan had seemingly acquiesced to being under his command, which had connotations for the augment that were not shared by the rest of his crew. He didn’t want to get this wrong and risk angering (or hurting) the augment again. But asking him directly seemed unwise, too, so he was left with picking his way through a potential minefield. He also didn’t want to take advantage of Khan, which was another awkward situation. Khan viewed him now as commander and family, both of which Jim wanted to respect.

Emerging from behind the privacy screen, Khan was wearing the standard issue black uniform that was typical of Starfleet. There was nothing special about it, as it was the same cut and style of clothing he had been given to wear since Admiral Marcus had first taken him. However, compared to other days, it currently looked quite crisp, as Khan had taken the time to clean it of fuzz and loose threads. But that was just the start, as his hair was also brushed back against his scalp and his shoes were polished, showing great attention to detail. "Captain." He said with a little smile, approaching the barrier the separated them before he paused and waited.

Khan had enjoyed a productive day. He had indeed finished his engineering project before breakfast, notifying Kirk and the relevant staff of his results. Then had spent much of the morning outlining several proposals for Commander Spock to approve of, which included: self sufficient biospheres, water catch systems partnered with sustainable agricultural techniques, and a device that could tap into the ground of any suitable planet or moon to provide portable, short-term, emergency geothermal energy. It was a start, Khan felt.

Having always had an eye for such things, Jim noted that Khan looked even more put together than usual and felt a bit like a slob in return. He straightened his top a bit self-consciously and offered the augment one of his trademark grins. “You look good, Khan. I hope you’re hungry.” He deactivated the barrier and took a step back, waiting for the augment to join him before turning toward the exit.

“Did you have a good day?” he asked. “I saw your project was submitted this morning...early this morning. Scotty’s been having a field day with it ever since. It’s always a good sign when you trigger a case of the happies for him. No knowing what he might do with it, though.” He rolled his eyes, thinking of his Chief Engineer.

"Thank you, Captain." Khan said in answer to the compliment, but also lightly touching to the fact that Kirk had come to collect him personally rather than send a security team after him. It was much more personal this way. "I am pleased that Mr. Scott has found inspiration in my report." That too was a compliment. "I am certain he will accomplish much with it in the weeks and months to come." After all, there was a reason why Khan was allowed only small projects, it was too much of a risk to let him get his hands on the whole of something, but small pieces of the overall puzzle? That was manageable for all concerned.

Jim snorted and said, “I figure the Enterprise’s engines will have been rebuilt at least ten times before we ever return to Earth, just from Scotty’s projects and updates. He is a bit of a mad man when it comes to our gray lady. As jealous and protective as any lover over his best girl.” He smiled a little at his own words, knowing they applied to him, as well.

“I imagine you also have a myriad of experimental designs for us to review over dinner, too,” he said. “I’m rather anxious to see what you’ve dreamed up. I never know from what direction you might come next. It’s even a little disconcerting sometimes.” Again, there was a tease there, a test of what Khan would allow and enjoy. He might allow anything now, after all.

It was easy enough to understand, to someone like Mr. Scott, the Enterprise was not only a job, but also a hobby; therefore, his entire life. He lived with the ship on his mind at all times, on and off the clock. There wasn't room for much else, and no one would ever be as important. "You will have to adapt your technology and methods constantly on your journey." Even with Starfleet sending them articles or research into new techniques, the crew of the Enterprise was on their own and would have to find ways to adapt that suiting their needs. "It is good that you have someone like Mr. Scott to show the Enterprise such dedication and creativity in her care." As previously stated, Khan had respect for Mr. Scott and his work, it a way he was showing approval of the engineer, but more so expressing confidence in his abilities.

"However, I do have several concepts in mind- if that is indeed what you wish to speak about over dinner." Khan answered, pleasantly engaged by the conversation. If Kirk wanted to hear what was on his mind, then Khan would share it. "Though if you find my line of thought unsettling or confusing, you should choose the subject of most interest for our discussion." No matter what the subject, Khan had a thought or two regarding it, that was the easy part. But it was overloading others with too much information, too many new concepts, that was often the problem.

“Yeah, I know I was lucky to literally stumble across him,” Jim said with a laugh. “If you’re interested at all, remind me to tell you that story sometime.” He walked down the hall easily, paying no mind to the guards trailing and leading them. He hoped Khan would respond well to that particular attitude.

“Well, as long as we take them one at a time, I think I’ll be able to keep up,” Jim said. “And we can choose the one you’re more interested in pursuing that will also be easiest to get approval for and set-up. I’m sure there’s something we can get you to work on right away.” He glanced over at the other man, surveying him with an intense gaze. “I was teasing, by the way, not that you can’t be unsettling sometimes. In all honesty.”

"It was not my intention to imply that you lack the mental facilities, Captain." Khan clarified. "I simply do not wish to bore you with subjects that are of no interest to you." As he felt Kirk's eyes upon him, Khan meet his gaze as well. However he was uncertain of what the man was after. Had he responded inappropriately? Had he misunderstood him already? Khan was aware of how he made people feel, so he had not spoken to the subject when Kirk had first mentioned that he was perhaps disconcerting, upsetting to people. Kirk tended to hide it the best, but Khan could see it nearly every time he made eye contact with another. And it wasn't just because of his most recent history with the Enterprise and Starfleet, either. When Admiral Marcus had first woken him up, Khan had seen it in the eyes of the Admiral's men too, they found his very existence troubling. Eventually of course, he had given them a reason to be fearful.

“I don’t really mind,” Jim said with a casual wave of his hand. “A lot of people think I’m mentally incompetent. I even play that up to my advantage sometimes, but I know that your mind is faster than most peoples. Not everyone, though. There are a few species who can run rings around you, too.” His eyes crossed as he thought of a few of them.

They arrived at the mess, and Jim led the way to the food, smiling and greeting everyone by name, as they parted to let their captain get first dibs. He gestured for Khan to follow, not wanting him standing in line. “Plenty of good stuff to choose from today.”

Observing the others in the room, Khan noted their reaction to Kirk and to him, but did not allow his own gaze to linger on any one individual for too long. He was not looking to start an altercation, or position himself in such a way where either party would feel the need to get defensive. Instead, he followed Kirk to where the food was being served and ended up coming away with a little bit of everything, clearly wishing to sample each in order to experience as much as possible, not knowing when he might next have the opportunity.

Jim stuck to his favorites, though he piled on some vegetables when he caught Bones glaring at him. He also had some milk, while their fresh supplies lasted. “Definitely coming back for dessert,” he confided to Khan, before heading to a table in a more secluded corner. He plopped down tray and self and waited for his guest.

“So, where shall we begin?” he asked, unfolding his napkin and looking at Khan. “I mean, which experimental design shall we discuss first?”

Sitting across from Kirk, the wrists of his hands on the edge of the table equal distance apart, separated by his meal on the table, Khan gave a slight nod before speaking. "Shielding." He began, getting right to it. "It is possible to develop more specialized shielding. Though all parts of your ship are important, some are more critical then others. These areas would greatly benefit from isolated or deflective shielding that can be targeted to protect certain parts of the ship at higher levels then others." As it was, shielding the entire ship as a whole was quite a draining resource, but if key components could be protected, Khan felt it would save them trouble further on. Having been the aggressor against the Enterprise, he knew the weakness to target, and now, under Kirk's command, knew how to address them.

Well, that wasn’t what Jim expected, but he smiled at the thoughtfulness of Khan offering the Enterprise greater protection. “That would be more of a laboratory and theoretical exercise to begin with,” he said, munching on some chicken parmesan, as promised. “What areas would you recommend for protection?”

"Yes." Khan said carefully, most of what he had to offer were indeed theoretical until they were tested. He paused slightly, getting the impression that this was not what Kirk was after. Though as he asked for details, Khan continued. "Your engines and energy core will always be the most vulnerable, and most efficient targets for bringing the ship to a stand still. Minimally, at least deflective shielding will redirect attacks to less essential components of your ship."

“Bridge and nacelles are large targets, but any hull breach can be the end of even the best ship,” Jim said with a hint of a grim smile. “Still, shields that could be stronger at certain points are certainly worth considering. But Khan, I thought you wanted to focus on things for your people. Not that I don’t appreciate this, and if it’s what you want to do, we can arrange it, but I don’t want you to do things because you think I prefer them...if that’s even what you’re doing.” His cheeks went faintly red at the insinuation he had made that Khan was trying to please him.

Khan parted his lips to speak more about the shielding, then swallowed, closing his mouth once more. Kirk was correct, Khan was trying to please him. "The problem of shielding is relevant to your interest, so I thought it was the most suitable subject." Everything about him came to a stand still. He didn't move to touch his food and kept his eyes on Kirk as his brain made the necessary adjustments. With a breath, Khan then dove into the next subject instead. He mentioned his proposals that he had sent to Commander Spock, pending his approval. Then began to address ideas he had not drawn up, knowing that they were not quite refined enough to mention, or else had no chance of being given the green light.

Jim smiled again, warm and pleased, as Khan detailed everything. He ate and made a comment here and there, taking care not to break the augment’s stream of conversation. When the man drew to a close, Jim was finishing off his vegetables, still feeling Bones’ eyes on him. He wanted some of that lovely creme brulee and knew he would be treated to a royal lecture if he didn’t clear his plate first. “So, the sustainable agriculture sounds like a good place to start. We have a mixture of seeds aboard that you could experiment with. Also, we have several agricultural specialists on the crew who might be able to help, if you’d like. There’s space in the hydroponics lab or the arboretum, too.”

"Thank you, Captain." Khan said, feeling encouraged by this. He ate a little more now, having done a great deal of talking for much of the dinner. It wasn't that he was a picky eater, but rather that he treated eating more like a formal experiment instead of something that one just naturally enjoyed. Some foods he found were enjoyable in combination with others, while others were much better on their own. "For the time being, the lab might be best, as it will allow me to manipulate the environment to replicate some planetary conditions we may encounter." Though he would later have to find an excuse to be allowed in the arboretum, simply to enjoy and immerse himself in the green space.

“I’ll schedule some time with Spock tomorrow to discuss your experiment and arrange for you to have access to the right equipment and space,” Jim said, watching Khan eat as patiently as he could. He really wanted some of the creme brulee and felt like a child waiting for his parents to finish their dinner, so he could have dessert. And wasn’t that a strange sensation? He smiled a little at himself, even as he continued, “Have you ever worked on agricultural sciences before?”

"Thank you, Captain." Khan said, feeling validated that the project was viewed as worthwhile. Khan was of course massively talented and brilliant, but it was not for him to say where resources should be used, or that he should be indulged; it was on Kirk, and he appreciated it. "We began to work on advancing agricultural methods to some degree, yes. We developed and began to grow several strains of root vegetables that could tolerate growth in the Spiti desert, a cold but vast environment that came to good use in my time." Khan answered, eating only a few bites more before he set aside his cutlery and sat back slightly in his chair.

“You’re done?” Jim asked, looking over Khan’s plate. “Did you not like the food? Or have you just eaten to your satisfaction?” He knew the augment needed to eat less than a normal human and figured that Khan would not eat a morsel more than necessary. He was seriously beginning to think that augments never had any fun. That was no way to live…

“Well, I’m going to grab some creme brulee, if you don’t mind hanging out with me for a bit longer. Do you want any dessert? There’s a lot of great stuff.”

"The food was satisfying, Captain." Khan assured. He had sampled what there was, and now had a better sense of the sorts of things he would prefer, one over another, in the future. "I enjoyed teasing my pallet with the variety." After all, it wasn't exactly five star dining while he was incarcerated. Dessert was of course unnecessary, but Kirk seemed eager for it, "Perhaps" so Khan stood to join him in picking out something from the dessert table.

Jim almost clapped him on the back in one of his normal gestures of camaraderie, pulling off at the last second and flapping in the air like a spaz. He gritted his teeth a little at himself, but headed for the desserts. Although he knew what he wanted, he took the time to peruse the selection thoroughly, making comments about everything on offer. After all, maybe Khan was unfamiliar with some of the unusual fare. Still, he took his dish of creme brulee (just one, he knew to be good) and waited for Khan to select, before heading back for their table.

“So, did you have great feasts when you were a leader? Invite fellow leaders and other statesman to your palaces? I know you had palaces.”

Khan listened to Kirk as he explained the choices and after Kirk had made his selection, Khan ended up reaching for a slice of layered cake. He then returned to the table with Kirk, sitting across from him once more. "I had palaces, did I?" Khan smirked, cleaning off his used fork before using it on his dessert. "Hm- but to answer you, yes, there were times when we had elaborate dinners and celebrations."

“I’ve been to a few of those. Normally end up having to give toasts, make speeches, make sure not to die from eating something I’m allergic to,” Jim said. “There was one planet where they slipped everyone an aphrodisiac in their wine. It was supposed to ease the way for diplomacy. Didn’t show up on the scans, but it made me very sick to my stomach. And Spock was pretty much immune and just logicked all over their asses. Not very good for diplomacy…” Jim laughed softly and shook his head, digging in to the creme brulee. “And yeah, you had palaces. I’ve even visited one.”

Khan frowned slightly to hear that diplomacy in a certain culture had required being drugged. The look was disapproving, though it was not directed at Kirk. So he ate a little more cake. "I find it strange, Captain, to think of you coming to my home, and not be there to greet you formally. In fact-" he added as the thought continued to press into his mind, "I find it strange that my home would have survived for this long. It is ... a tourist destination?" He asked, uncertain.

“It’s beautiful,” Jim said, “and was built long before you, after all. If it survived so many centuries before you, why do you imagine it would be destroyed after? It is a tourist destination now, a place of so much history and grandeur. I never really explored my own world until Starfleet, so I went on a couple of treks around the globe during my summers off. When I wasn’t working on graduating a year early. But I didn’t see this place until after our first encounter. When I was still convalescing, technically. They have a portrait of you there, from your time.” He glanced over Khan, a quick, but assessing flick of his eyes. “It didn’t do you justice. I’ll see if I have some pictures...”

It was refreshing to hear that something had survived. Yes, he and his people, the entire Eugenics Wars were used as cautionary tales for future generations, but the fact that they had not been completely eradicated was a small comfort. "Why- may I ask, did you travel there?" Khan asked. He did not wish to address how the losing side was often painted with a villainous brush, so it was not surprising to him that he did not look like his portrait. But he felt that was inappropriate discussion, considering Kirk had just paid him a compliment.

Jim thought about that for a moment and said, “I don’t know, really. To see another side of you, perhaps, the ruler. Just to see something I’d never seen before, learn about a time I’d only gotten a broad brushstroke over before. After all, humans have a lot of history to cover now. I’m interested in the past, but never before the eugenics era. Is that strange to you?”

"It is not strange, to wish to know your enemy." Khan answered casually. He thumbed over the handle of the fork he held in his hand, considering what Kirk had said. He had experienced the warrior after all, the strategist and even the engineer, but not Khan the ruler; and likely never would, until Khan had his people among him again, but it was nevertheless interesting to consider. "And what did you discover?"

“That you were even more complicated than ever,” Jim said with a shrug. “And you had rather extravagant tastes.” He spooned in another bite of dessert. “And under your rule, maybe I would have been allowed to live, where I wouldn’t have under any other. But it was still a dubious prospect. Of course, most of my problems may relate directly to the circumstances of my birth, so some of it may not have been an issue. If all things were equal…” He dipped his eyes down for a moment and then raised them, full of the fire that made him James T. Kirk. “I would have broken a lot of your laws.”

Instead of finding the look challenging as he might have previously, Khan tilted his head and slowly folded his hands in his lap. So they would have been adversaries, no matter what timeline, no matter what incarnation. "That would have been unfortunate," he said simply. The rules and laws had kept a very strict way of things, but it had also kept millions from devastating chaos.

“I was a rather unfortunate child for a long time,” Jim said with a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes. “And I did a lot of stupid things, no argument. All starting when I was a minor. Got into a lot of fights. Trespassed on private property. Lewd behavior. Grand theft auto. Technically, stole and destroyed property.” That one did make him laugh softly. “Yeah, that was a good ride.” He finished his dessert and pushed it away. “Did you have parents, Khan?”

As he listened, Khan nodded slightly, not giving any indication of disapproval. Just the opposite. Kirk appeared to have come a long way since being a troubled youth, even if learning responsibility was still something he was working on. But he was doing quite good by Khan, so there were no complaints. "No." Khan answered, "I had scientists." Some might have favoured him more then others right from the beginning, but still, they were not family, not loving parents; they were individuals tasked with the duty to see that Khan and the others were excellent in every conceivable way to measure them.

“So, you and I are alike in that way. Not that I had scientists, but I didn’t really have parents, either,” Jim said. “We can bond over lack of nurturing behavior from our formative years.” He snorted and then looked more serious again. “Were you all raised together or were you kept apart? You don’t have to tell me, by the way, but I am interested. There really is so little known about the eugenics projects. Most of the research and history were destroyed to prevent people from repeating them. Thing is, if you forget your history, you tend to repeat it. Aka, Marcus.”

"I do not mind the conversation." Khan said, though sat forward slightly, keeping the conversation private. "We were developed separately, though by the time we were brought into consciousness, our initial personalities and abilities would be analyzed. It was then that we were often allowed to interact with others, making ourselves into units, or families. Developing our individual strengths and finding assets in partnership. At least, that was how it was under Chrysalis." The project name given by geneticist Dr. Sarina Kaur based out of India. "I cannot say how it was for those who were created in American or European labs."

“Are you saying you were never a baby?” Jim asked, astounded by the very idea. “You were awoken at what age then?” He wondered at never having those years, or if he had misunderstood Khan’s words. Surely, that kind of handling would have deleterious effects on a person, since so much of a human’s development came as a infant and toddler.

"Our growth and development was fast-tracked. Being born from a womb and aging at a normal rate was hardly efficient for our purpose." Though Khan was aware that other programs had existed that used human mothers as surrogates, but that seemed little more then some sort of slave pregnancy, to harvest the augmented humans; plus, that risked too much in terms of what the mother would pass along to the child, regardless of the genetic manipulation at the cellular level. "Generally, even at an accelerated rate, it takes three years to develop into the young men and women that were brought into consciousness. From an outside eye we likely looked to be teenagers- if that is your question."

“Holy shit,” Jim said, eyes wide and horrified. “That’s robbing you an entire childhood. I mean, my childhood wasn’t rainbows and unicorns, but at least I had one. No wonder you don’t really understand the concept of fun. When would you have developed such a thing?” He vacillated a few moments through different responses. “I feel like we should add some sort of enrichment activity to your day. Maybe help you find some things you enjoy doing just for their own sake…”

"An enrichment activity?" Khan prompted. "What do you recommend?" He asked, willing to follow Kirk's direction and recommendation, to engage in some sort of activity that was meant for no other purpose than to be enjoyed. It would be difficult, considering how poorly Khan had misunderstood the point to Battleship. It was after all because, in the end, Khan and those like him were not human, not really. A branch perhaps, a breed of humans, but so twisted and manipulated into being one thing that the rest was trimmed off, deemed unnecessary for their purpose.

“Yeah, hmm,” Jim said, contemplating potential activities. “I’d normally recommend games or sports, but we need to wean you a little bit from the competitive aspects of everything. Do you like music? We have some talented musical groups or you could learn an instrument. That’d keep you busy for what, a week or so?” He smiled at the augment, teasing again. “Oooh, you could try the Vulcan lyre. I’m sure Spock would love that.”

"If Commander Spock is willing. I am an adept student." Music was perhaps the best choice, as it still had structure to it, but was also flexible, room enough for creativity, imagination and free expression. Plus, leaning from the Vulcan could be achieved without any unnecessary filler for conversation. "Are you musical, Captain?" Khan inquired with a little smile, prepared to be surprised by any admission on this front.

“Nooooo,” Jim said with a vigorous shake of his head. “I can’t hold a tune, and my attempts to learn a musical instrument were fraught with disaster. The best I can say is that I enjoy a wide variety of music and am willing to try anything. I can dance. That’s as close to musical talent as I get. Ballroom. Swing. Modern. Disco. I’m good at that. I could teach you disco. That’d be fun.” Actually, that would be hilarious, and Jim would record every minute of it. “Still, yeah, learning an instrument would be a good route. Let me see who all plays what aboard and has time for lessons?”

The subtle smile did not falter when Kirk admitted to having no musical talent whatsoever. Hearing that the man danced however, was intriguing. And for a long moment Khan just started at him, imaging what his rhythm and flow in various forms of dance. "Very well, Captain." Khan agreed, accepting that Kirk would find him someone appropriate.

“Yeah, once I have a list, you can choose what to begin with and see if you enjoy it. I imagine you can learn a lot of instruments in a short time, so we might need to have a backup list, too,” Jim said. “I bet you already know how to dance, right?”

Khan nodded, agreeing to the terms. Kirk would find those who were willing, and Khan would choose one who managed to catch his interest. Even though the list might turn up rather short, some choice was better then no choice. "Yes, I know all the formal dances." He answered, "The rest I am aware of through observation, but not have engaged in."

“All the formal dances?” Jim asked, mouth quirked wryly. “I bet you do a nifty tango. You have the right build and the passion for it, also the predatory nature that it can require. Bet you seduced a few lucky souls that way in the past.”

"Yes, Captain." Khan smiled mysteriously, eyes down for a moment before he looked up across the table to the other man. "A few." He said with a gentle purr. He was intrigued by the fact that Kirk would consider these theoretical people lucky to have danced with him. At the time it was of course a honor, but even now, Khan felt he could still make it a thrill of a lifetime, worth remembering.

Jim wiggled his eyebrows playfully, not that he was unaware of the heat in those eyes and voice. “Dancing is a good way to communicate without words. I always felt I was stronger at talking to a potential partner on the dancefloor rather than trying to charm them with words. Not that I’m not good at that, too, when I need to be- want to be.” He was understating, as was his habit; since becoming Captain of the Enterprise, Jim had shown a flair for diplomacy that surprised most of Command. He knew people or could figure them out fast, using his instincts to guide him. Some people, like Khan, were more complicated, but he still felt his way through their interactions. And he thought he was getting better. “You should show me your stuff sometime. I don’t mind following a good lead.”

The request however was complicated for Khan, whereas it would have been easy for anyone else to agree to. It went back to the fact that Khan had agreed and acknowledge that he was under Kirk's command. But taking the lead, even in dance, seemed contrary to that agreement. This felt like a blurred, grey area, when Khan responded best to clear, black and white lines. "If you feel that would not be inappropriate." Khan tested. "I would enjoy that." He added, pressing to see how much of this was a test or if it was indeed genuine.

“Awesome,” Jim enthused with an honest grin. “I don’t brag lightly...well, with you, anyway, but I’m a pretty sweet dancer. Still, I feel even I could learn something from you. A few tips and tricks.” He glanced around the slowly emptying room and said, “I think I’ll grab some coffee, if you don’t mind lingering a little longer. I don’t quite feel up to the paperwork facing me when we’re done yet.”

So that was it, then. They would dance. Khan considered Kirk, how easy it had been for him to suggest Khan take lead. Perhaps, he did not see it as giving something up, to be dominated. Even so, Khan was now looking forward to showing his dominance, even if it was just in dance. "I do not mind, Captain." Khan then said gently, feeling his place again. He was here, or not here, because Kirk allowed it. And it was nice to be out, even just to see other people talk about their simple lives and relationships.

“Want anything to drink? I may actually get hot chocolate instead. Caffeinated beverages are a bad idea this late. I should try to catch up a little on my sleep,” Jim said. “I have a couple of long staff meetings tomorrow and those are not better when you’re sleep deprived. I’m bored enough to nod off occasionally anyway.”

"A red tea, if your kitchens have such a thing." Khan said, not meaning it as an order. After all, Kirk had asked. He did however find it curious that Kirk was so open with his habits; how caffeine affected him, how his attention would wane during business, or his apparent boredom in doing paperwork. These were essential details in being a Captain, just as much as making the difficult decisions; though it was clear Kirk held no delight for it. "Do you have difficulty sleeping, Captain?"

Jim paused and looked at Khan for a moment, before he said, “Sometimes. Not so much anymore. I just got up early today.” He flashed that trademark grin at Khan, open and unafraid to show it. “Red tea. I’m sure we have something like that. Undoctored, right? No sugar or milk or anything?”

Of course, Khan had unintentionally been the cause of Kirk's early morning, and therefore long day. So he did not press the issue. "Unspoiled, Captain. Thank you." Khan said, not in the habit of ruining perfectly good tea.

Jim snickered and said, “Nice way to put that.” He sidled back up to the front and in a few minutes returned with perfectly brewed red tea and a large mug of cocoa, topped with an obscene amount of whipped cream. “Glad Bones has done and gone, or I’d be hearing about this one.” He set the tea in front of Khan and took his own seat, sipping his beverage with a contented sigh. “So, I must seem a weird leader to you.”

"Different." Khan agreed, though kept specific criticisms to himself. Slowly, Khan reached for the tea and simply placed his hand around the edges of the cup. He sighed and even smiled a little, the action familiar and comforting. After a moment longer, Khan took up the cup and draw it to his lips for a sip. "But effective." He added. It worked for the crew of the Enterprise, clearly. And Khan was learning to adapt to it.

“Thank you,” Jim said with an honest smile of appreciation. “I went through the Academy in three years, took the Command track. But the main thing they taught me was to follow my gut. I don’t have a normal command technique, but it works for me and my crew. The main thing, I think, is to show loyalty to them above and beyond everything and not lead them needlessly into danger.”

"Yes." Khan hummed softly, "We do at least agree on that point." As Khan too was devoted to his people, and would not call them into a fight or bring them to danger unless there were no other choice. "Did you enjoy your education?" Khan then asked, keeping up the conversation. Kirk had before mentioned having gone through the program at an accelerated pace, which did at least suggest that he was quite quick to pick up the skills, quite good.

“I did like the Academy,” Jim said, “even my last year, where I was so busy I basically lived in class and at the library. Not to mention all of the simulations and in the field work I had to finish.” He laughed softly and shook his head. “And then the Kobayashi Maru and Nero and suddenly, I’m a Captain who never even finished the Academy.”

There was that name again, Nero. Should he be allowed the relevant records, Khan would have to look into it. It seemed like something worth knowing. He eyed Kirk, patiently picking over his features as he took another sip of tea. "No, I don't suppose you would need to finish. Trial by fire, as they say."

“Literally. Over 90 percent of my classmates were killed in the battle against Nero. The Enterprise was the only ship that had been stationed at Earth when Nero attacked Vulcan not to be destroyed. He’s responsible for Marcus, too, since it was his actions that led to Marcus becoming so paranoid and willing to break the Prime Directive.” Jim’s expression darkened as he remembered lost friends and crew from both incidents. “Together, they tested Starfleet to the breaking point, but it looks like we’re going to persevere.”

"90 percent?" The number was unfathomable and Khan was visibly disturbed by it. His gaze was steady, but dark. His hand slid away from his cup, leaving it on the table as he rested his hands in his lap. "I am sorry for your loss, Captain." He said, his tone gravely sincere.

“Thank you, Khan,” Jim answered with equal sincerity. “Nero was a Romulan. You’re three hundred years from the past, well he was about the same amount from the future. And he had the technology to go along with it. His brain was a bucket full of crazy, and he wanted nothing but...vengeance.” He paused to let the similarities sink in between the two events. “And he got more than half way there.”

"As I have come to understand." Khan answered, but did not pursue the conversation further, unless Kirk pressed. After a little bit, he reached for his tea again, feeling it was acceptable to do so without being rude.

Jim noted Khan’s reluctance and said, “Sorry, not pleasant memories for anyone, but the reason I have this ship, this crew. And this mission, now. It’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good.” He sipped his cocoa, letting the taste help wash away the somewhat bitter flavor in his mouth. “We’re an extra tight knit group because of our experiences. The youngest crew in Starfleet history.”

The conversation was indeed uncomfortable, but Khan responded nevertheless. "I understand, Captain. You only have one another." That was, until another generation made it through Starfleet to take up the mantle for the lost generation. Khan could of course relate. He had only his people. And Kirk, sort of. "The Enterprise is a fine flagship, as is your crew, until others can join- to meet the demand."

“She’s my lady,” Jim affirmed, patting the wall behind him fondly. “She’s taken a beating in her short life, but she’s still strong. Like all of us, I guess. You, too.” He smiled at Khan before another sip of cocoa. “You’re a surprisingly good listener. Did your people come to you with their troubles?”

Khan gave a soft hum in consideration. He had never felt young. But that was perhaps because so much was built in to who he was, including tremendous pressure and responsibility. "Thank you, Captain." He said at first, responding to the compliment. Even though part of being a good listening was also a tactical advantage, being observant, taking in as much information as possible. "It was not uncommon. I often mediated disagreements, listened to problems, or confessions. Is the same true for you, in your position?"

“Yes, at times, it’s necessary for the captain to mediate for his crew and hear out their concerns, but I find myself doing that more as part of diplomacy than anything else,” Jim said. “Aboard, we have a structure for how problems and concerns are dealt with and frankly, being referred all the way up to the captain is for the most extreme or difficult cases. Not that I’m not always an ear for people who want to use it. For you, too, if you want.”

It was understandable. Kirk had much more important things to address with his time. But for Khan it was different. He was father and brother, leader and ruler, and as such, he made sure everyone under him were made to feel important and just as strong by giving them his time and attention. "Thank you, Captain." Khan said, showing his appreciation for the offer. However, going to someone else with his troubles was absolutely unheard of. If he had to burden others with his problems, then he was not fit to be in the position he was in. And as he was, he had already been more forthcoming with Kirk then he had ever been with his own people; he was meant to be autonomous, perfect, a flawless example that others might aspire to.

“Well, I’m already bending your ear, so you might as well get the opportunity to do the same,” Jim said with a shrug. He pouted down a little at his empty mug and sighed. “Well, back to work. I’ll send out the request for musical teachers for you, and we’ll see what offers we have on the table. Maybe you can play some night for Uhura to sing to...she’s got a lovely voice when we can encourage her to use it.” He paused and glanced at Khan’s mug. “Oh, sorry. Are you ready? I can wait a few more minutes.” In fact, he wouldn’t mind at all.

"You already give me much of your time, Captain." Khan said softly, unable to truly vocalize it, but he was grateful that Kirk visited and spoke with him, almost daily. It helped to combat separation anxiety from his people, and to ease his loneliness; he was after all, at his heart, a pack animal; still essentially human on that level. "I would be uncomfortable to burden you with more." He swallowed, licking his lips as he started at his cup of tea. It was still pleasantly warm in his hand, though it would grow cold if he waited much longer, so he drank, knowing that by finishing, it also meant an end to his evening. "You have had a long day." Khan reminded him, "But I wish to thank you, for this."

“It’s been my pleasure,” Jim said. “I’d like for all our interactions to be as smooth as this one. I don’t expect them to be, mind you, but I can hope.” He grinned and tipped a wink and a nod to Khan. “And it’s not a burden, you know, when we can be civilized to each other. I’m looking forward to the dancing. We’ll have to pick a private place though, or Bones and Scotty will tease me to the end of time.”

No, it wouldn't always be perfect. There were likely times ahead when the two men would still misunderstand one another. But Khan was mindful now of his position and would honor the way things were. "At your decision, Captain." Khan said, then stood. His hand came to rest on the back of the chair he had just been sitting in, waiting for Kirk to officially dismiss him to the care of the security team.

“Give me a moment,” Jim said, “and I’ll walk you back.” He carried their mugs to the counter, not wanting to make anyone clean-up after them. He returned and reached out to clap Khan on the shoulder, before pulling back before landing the touch. “Oops. Sorry. Habits.” He gestured toward the door with his head. “Come on.” He gestured for the Security group to go with them.

As they stepped out into the hallway with the escort, Khan glanced to Kirk, the question on the edge of his lips. Still, he hesitated before asking, "That is the second time you have attempted such a gesture," he said. Though it likely sounded like an accusation from his low tone, it was not intended as such. "What is its significance?"

“A friendly clap on the back,” Jim said with a little shrug. “I do that to a lot of my crew, except those that don’t like it. I still reach out sometimes by instinct. I’ll catch on...probably. I still do it to Spock.” Of course, he did that on purpose, bless his devilish heart.

The action itself seemed quite possessive, as if to say: this is mine. But Kirk's explanation held none of that. "I see." He said simply, not yet ready to give Kirk open consent, but he was curious about it. "And how does Commander Spock take to it?" He asked, feeling that was a relatable comparison.

“Well, he’s loosened up about it a little bit, but I’m a bit of a jerk about it, I confess,” Jim said with a laugh. “Vulcans don’t usually like being touched, but he’s my friend. He doesn’t mind so much with me now. Of course, his girlfriend would break my arms.”

It seemed like a strange situation, but Khan did not comment on it further. Another turn down the hallway and they were back in the brig. With his eyes firmly forward, Khan approached his cell. In an old fashioned sort of way, Khan responded well to the fact that Kirk took the time to see him returned to where he belonged. Similarly however, he was in a way embarrassed to be constantly seen like this. "Good night, Captain." He said with a slight nod.

“See you later, Khan,” Jim said with a smile. “I’ll get back to you tomorrow about the instruments and the dance lessons. It’ll be fun!” He grinned and reactivated the barrier. “Sleep well!” With a wave, he headed out again.


	7. Dancing into Trouble

Over a week later, Jim showed up for their dance engagement wearing the kind of clothes he usually went on his dates in.  They were tailored to highlight all of his best physical assets and allow the freedom of movement needed for a good dance.  He had cleared one of the activity rooms for their use and planned to leave the security guards outside.  “Hey, Khan!” he called.  “You ready?”

"Yes, Captain." Khan answered with a little smile. He had been looking forward to this since Kirk had first mentioned it. And as of last night, Kirk had committed to make the time for it. The two often engaged in light correspondence to one another through the hacked PADD system, generally just to keep communication between them open when Kirk could not give Khan his time in person. The sometimes mid-day, or mid-night conversations were often short, but appreciated. And as of their conversation last night, they agreed to make good on one another's promise to dance.

Jim deactivated the barrier and said, “Sorry I haven’t been around much of late.  We had more of a time with the last mission than expected, considering that there were no inhabitants of the areas we were exploring. But now that we’re done, I’ll have more time, especially since the next mission is your second potential colony.  You’ve already finished all the research, I’m sure.”  He gestured toward the door.  “Shall we?”

"No apology is necessary, Captain." Khan said, still understanding his place. He accepted that he and his people were strange cargo, and although received priority care, it was unreasonable to expect to have Kirk's attention at all times. Though as Kirk beckoned him out, Khan responded with a slight nod. "I have gone over the materials you have supplied me with, yes." He answered.

“Are your other projects keeping you sufficiently busy?” Jim asked.  “I don’t want you to be bored.”  He walked out of the brig, saluting his security officers jauntily, as they fell into line behind them. “I’ve been looking forward to this,” he said as they walked, heading for their activity room.  “You prefer a classical kind of tango or something more modern?”

"Not bored." Khan assured. "My designs are responding well under computer simulations. I look forward to the opportunity to construct their prototypes." Commander Spock was the one overseeing much of it, and would be the one to give his consent, or not, in the end.

"Unfortunately, I may be unaware of modern techniques, however I am adaptable if that is your preference." After all, it wasn't like he was researching the evolution of dance after Admiral Marcus awoke him.

“Mmm, classic works for me,” Jim said.  “It’s the sexiest form of the dance to my mind.”  He grinned and wiggled his hips enticingly.  “I’m willing to help you learn some new stuff, too, but only if you can follow my lead.”  He opened the door to their room, signalling the guards to wait and walked in with Khan.  

"Perhaps." Khan said. It all depended on how they responded to one another, after all, this could go quite well, or very poorly. He glanced back to the door as it closed them in together, leaving the security team in the hallway. Posture perfect, Khan began to stride around the room, getting a feel for the space he had to work with. Slowly however, his circle around the room grew tighter as he approached Kirk, standing before him. He smiled slowly, seeing that daring look in his eyes, the same sort he had seen before their jump from the Enterprise to the Vengeance.

Jim eased into a seductive posture, eyes indeed daring and bright.  He knew how to play this role as well as the lead, since he enjoyed both.  And Khan was a very good alpha to play off of, all predatory and strong.  But one of Jim’s favorite things about the tango was that both partners got to be strong and fierce.  He spun around with Khan on the last circle around him, tilting his chin in a challenging way.  

“Computer, program Kirk135,” he said, and a classic tango filled the air.  “Just tell the computer which tango you want, and it’ll probably be in the program.” And then he extended his hand toward Khan in open flirty invitation.

Considering this was their first time at it together, Khan called for a very dramatic, aggressive tango. While others were flirty, or even playful, this one would have the conversation the two men were always meant to have. He took Kirk by the hand, holding firmly as he drew closer, hand wrapping around his back as they pressed tightly. It was the first direct, inhibited, non-violent contact between them. Then very suddenly, every muscle in his otherwise still body tensed with precise control. He stared Kirk down, taking the initial steps to force Kirk backwards, to follow his lead as he said he would.

Jim relaxed easily and allowed his body to go where directed, keeping his gaze locked on Khan’s.  He practically entwined himself with the other man, knowing exactly how to use his physicality in the right ways.  The pace was fast, exciting, and he reveled in it, living purely in the moment.  It had been a far too long since he’d been this close to anyone, especially someone as sexy as Khan.  The man exuded power and masculinity, things Jim enjoyed when he was looking for them.  And he did trust Khan with this, on his ship.

It was no surprise that the two men were actually good partners, keeping up with the other, meeting each challenge as it was cast. Though as the music swelled to the climax and then its conclusion, Khan paused with Kirk in his arms. His head bowed down slightly, nose inches from Kirk's neck, drawing in the scent, pleased to still find a bit of himself there, just under Kirk's skin, still apart of him. Khan ordered for another song, taking them around the floor again. He was not done with him.

Jim made a pleased noise when Khan twirled them around again and tightened his arm around Khan’s back, sliding it up to lightly curl at his neck.  His fingers teased at the skin just below his hairline, before moving up to muss with the perfect strands.  On one move, he took a chance and wrapped a leg high on Khan’s waist, seeing how that would be received.  It was a test of how Khan would react to him taking a bit of initiative and being a bit more intimate.

Instead of pushing Kirk away, even in the acceptable dramatic form that the dance sometimes took, Khan slid his hand up the available thigh, keeping him close. The movement was slow, getting a hold on him as Khan slightly dipped him back. He took the moment to appreciate the sight of Kirk like this, thigh parted, wrapped around him, and reclined in his arms. Then as he drew that man upright, Khan took a few strides backwards, still keeping the leg hooked around his hip so that Kirk was dragged firmly along with him. He gave a soft purr, then released him at last.

Jim eased his limbs to allow the dipping and dragging to work without any resistance or strain to either of them.  “Knew you’d be good at that,” he said with a purr of his own and tugged at Khan’s hair lightly.  “Show me what else you can do.”  He was hoping Khan would take the invitation in the spirit it was intended, all fun and hotness.

The show of dominance was still there, but now Khan began to flirt with their steps. Twisting legs together, making brief touches that kept up with the fast pace of things, Khan showed more advanced techniques, expecting Kirk to keep up even though it was not something they had previously rehearsed. Then after one move, Khan turned Kirk out in a spin, and as he reeled him back in, Khan took a step forward, shortening the distance so that Kirk could not spin in all the way to where he had been before. Now, he was facing out and Khan was pressed up directly behind him, one hand still holding his, across his front, the other on his hip. His nose brushed against the short bond hairs at the back of Kirk's neck with a soft, but warm breath.

Jim used all of his knowledge both of dancing and of how to read a partner to keep up with Khan’s moves.  He tried to equal the augment’s touches, brushing over his cheek with light fingertips, stroking the nape of his neck, tugging the mussed strands of hair.  It was really amazing how well they moved together, even when Khan did throw in a step or two that was new to Jim, he guided him so that there were no missteps of even minor fumbles.  The whole thing was exhilarating and made Jim’s heart beat faster for more than one reason.

And then Khan took it to a whole new level by turning Jim to face outward and nuzzling at his neck.  He made an approving sound and pressed back against him, tilting his chin up and back to throw him a heated, challenging gaze.  Basically, ‘bring on your best.’

Gently taking hold of Kirk by the wrist to guide him from behind, Khan slid his other hand to palm the flat of Kirk's stomach. The dance continued. But the conversation was very different now, speaking to risky thoughts and feelings that were only acceptable to address in this form, that might never be said out loud. It said: _We were joined as enemies and partners from the beginning. We've had our fights, but you're still not out of my system, nor am I out of yours. There is passion here. Let me show you my lips, instead of the back of my hand. Do not disappoint me. We could be good together._

In the end, Khan had Kirk facing him once more. One arm hooked around his middle, hand against his back, the other on his hip, slowly moving down his thigh. The song had ended, and Khan did not call for another one. Instead, he stood there, eyes down, watching Kirk's mouth for an answer.

Well, Khan certainly answered Jim’s challenge and in an unexpected way, too.  Even as they moved around the floor, heat in every step, every press and counterpress of body, Jim pondered the right answer to the question in Khan’s language.  Once the dance ended, hesitation would not be acceptable.  A firm answer, yeah or nay, must be given to Khan or the chance would be lost anyway.

A dangerous chance.  But Jim Kirk was not a man to back down from danger, especially coupled with the opportunity to reap great rewards from a risk.  Or great thrills.  Both were very, very enticing.

And Khan.  Fuck, Khan was practically sex made human like this, a fact Jim very seldom allowed himself ponder prior to this encounter.  Too much anger, too much loss, too much between them to ever let himself think of Khan as aught but an enemy.  And he was treated as such in return, after all.

So, as the music ended, as Khan turned Jim back to face him, as that warm hand crept possessively down his thigh, Jim’s free hand slid up a long, lean back to tangle in soft, black hair, now attractively mussed.  He allowed only enough pause to lick over his lips with a saucy tongue, before leaning forward to scrape his teeth over Khan’s lower lip, tugging it out a little, before letting go.

Yes, Khan had his answer. A subtle, predatory grin pulled at the corner of his mouth. Bowing his head to the side, Khan pressed his lips to a hot patch of sweaty skin just under Kirk's ear. Khan could smell himself, his influence bleeding through the heat of his body, tasting Kirk and himself on his lips. He purred very softly, then spoke against his skin, "Another, Captain?" He asked. The question had several outstanding implications. Despite their dance and what had been said, Khan still recognized Kirk's authority; his command. The show of fight and possessiveness and dominance had not changed that. It had simply been the necessary dialogue that lead them to this. Khan would respect his wishes, and boundaries, even though right now he wanted nothing more then continue to taste the man in his arms.

Jim hummed a little under his breath and then murmured, “Well, I’d hate to stop now, Mr. Singh.”  He pressed a fraction of an inch closer to the augment.  “I’ve been enjoying myself immensely.”  His hips wriggled slightly against the older man, a sensual tease.  “And I don’t think you’ve quite had all of your say yet, hmmm?”  He tilted his head to allow Khan to scent and kiss even more, if he so desired.

Khan felt very drawn to Kirk. _This. This is mine. This one belongs to me_. Khan nuzzled into Kirk's neck, breathing in much deeper then he needed, filling his lungs with the scent of the other man. The gesture showed a certain degree of intimacy and familiarity, as if Kirk were an old friend Khan had missed being close to. So this time, as Khan ordered another song, he kept Kirk close to him the entire time, keeping the conversation intimate.

Jim tried to soothe the somewhat intense emotions he could feel emanating from the older man, allowing him to scent and be close.  He followed him in this simpler, if more intimate, dance, pressed in and held tight.  “Khan,” he whispered in the other man’s ear as the music ended again, “let me loose for a moment?”

Khan could have danced like that, pressed against the young captain, holding him close for hours, or even days without being aware of any time passing. But as Kirk made his request, Khan eased off, letting go of him and stepped back. Folding his hands behind his back, Khan reverted into a formal stance. Had he pressed for too much? Was Kirk done with him now? Still, Khan could not help but keep his eyes fixed on Kirk as if he were the only thing worth looking at.

Jim smiled at Khan and carefully undid the buttons on his shirt, opening it all the way to the navel.  “Sorry,” he said and stepped back toward the other man, “but I was getting a little hot.”  He knew the move both showed his physique off more, invited Khan’s hands to wander a bit and unleashed a little more of his natural scent.  He was definitely a bit musky, not having lied about being warm.  “Shall we continue?”  His arms reached up to grip Khan, hoping the other man would relax again.  “Please?”

"Yes, Captain. As long as you are willing." Khan smiled, relieved that Kirk still wanted to continue. It would still take some time before he would break a sweat himself, but working Kirk up in this way was delicious to his senses. Taking Kirk by the hand, Khan lead him around in a circle, getting a sense of the space between them once more, before calling for another song. In a way, his movements were steady and precise, showing that Kirk could always count on him to be what he was.

Jim glanced over the formal black outfit Khan still wore and raised an eyebrow, but followed him in the circle easily, before stepping back into his arms.  “So, am I am acceptable partner then?” he purred into Khan’s ear, as they twirled easily.  “I admit, I like where you’ve been leading me.”  He leaned in closer and bit the lobe near his lips.

"You are a worthy partner." Khan said, cupping the side of his face, thumb brushing over his jaw. "How do you find me?" he asked, tilting Kirk's head up, and at the last minute dropping his hand away quickly. Though his steps came easily to him, his muscles were tense. Sometimes letting it slip in the conversation just what his wild mind was processing: _Let me protect you. I will protect you. You are mine. Stay with me. Do not leave me alone. I should devour you._

Jim knew he could not joke here, even though his mind always wanted to slip in the teasing phrase first.  “Amazing,” he said with full throat to his honesty.  “Though perhaps not as relaxed as you might be.”  He rubbed a few small circles into the small of his back.  “But that does not detract from this partnership, how much fun I’m having letting you lead.  How very exciting you are.”

Khan hummed, clearly pleased with the comment. Reaching to hold Kirk by the back of his neck, Khan was careful not to leave bruising, as he was mindful of his strength. But he turned it up, just to show Kirk how exciting it could still be. The tango continued, though on several occasions Khan threw in a few swing dance moves, just to keep things new and the energy high. Khan was constantly watching for what he could get away with, what would be allowed, if Kirk would adapt to him, and where, if any, he drew the line for letting Khan take lead. His second hand pressed against the young captain, firmly over his bare chest. Fingertips able to track the beat of his heart and every breath Kirk took.  

Jim’s hands moved to hold Khan around the waist, letting the movements of his hips help guide his steps.  The grip on his neck and over his heart was exciting, especially since Khan could crush both fragile areas very easily.  But there was a tenderness in the touches, a care with his handling, and that was even more exciting somehow. He moved one of his hands to press over Khan’s, on his chest.  “I like that,” he said softly.  “Can you feel how you’re making my heart race?  How you make my breath pick up?  That’s not just the exercise.”

"Yes- I can." Khan purred with a little smile, pleased that Kirk admitted to liking it, and had trapped his hand for it to stay right there. Bowing his head down, Khan pressed his lips to the exposed collarbone. It was barely a kiss, more of a taste, just to have a little of Kirk on his lips again. Any pretense of dancing however had now come to an end, as Khan stood still, holding Kirk in his arms, one hand still against his chest, the other now sliding down his back, fingers pressing just over his tailbone.

Jim reached up and caressed Khan’s head, as the soft lips brushed his skin.  He shivered again as a slow, but bold, hand settled just above the curve of his ass.  The augment liked to ask everything without words, but although Jim was well familiar with the language of intimacy, now was the time for speech.  Neither of them could afford to get this wrong.

“What do you want, Khan?” Jim asked in a soft tone.  “I need to hear you tell me.”

It was a simple question, but even so, proved quite difficult for Khan. Generally he could consume what he had before him without needing to expose his desires, just fulfill them. "Allow me to kiss your skin." He said, speaking against his neck teasingly, but still holding back. "Give me consent to touch you without apology."

Well, that wasn’t quite the answer Jim expected or even wanted in the moment, but he suspected that it was the best Khan would give him.  Maybe even the best he could give him, judging by the way he had not lifted his head.  So, then the words fell to Jim to provide, and he did, saying softly, “You have my consent to touch as you will and as you want.  To do more than touch, if the desire takes you.  But carefully, Khan, as I’m still only human.”

A warmth spread through Khan at those words, starting in his shoulders and spreading out through his arms and down his back, relaxing his tense muscles. Finally, he kissed Jim against his neck. The first one was gentle, but on the second, Khan parted his lips and licked at the sweetly salty skin, lingering with a soft groan. His brain adapted in a way, no longer thinking of Kirk as Kirk, as Captain, but now there was room for something personal, a private distinction, as Jim, as James, as something that was his to enjoy. His fingers curled in, pawing at the outline of his body, though was careful not to leave scratch marks. "May I call you by name?" He asked, slowly making his way up his vulnerable human neck, then across his jaw, closer and closer to his lips.

Jim rolled his head back to give Khan more skin of his neck and chin to explore and enjoy, moaning a soft answer to Khan’s groan.  “I would like that,” Jim said, shifting to cradle the back of Khan’s head with a strong hand of his own.  The other enjoyed a sojourn around the broad planes of Khan’s back, tracing over the long line of spine, the expansive wings of his shoulders and the softening of his posture.  “Is Khan still what I call you?  Or is there something more ... appropriate?”  His voice fell into the texture of honey, thick and syrupy and rich.

Khan raised his gaze at last, "Any of my names, whichever you find the most pleasing." Khan licked his own lips first, then offered them in a sweet kiss to Jim, sucking on his lip briefly before he continued to speak. "Noonien, or Noon would show intimacy." He said, taking the moment to savor the taste. "But I would consider Lover to be an honorable title." He added, sliding both hands under the open shirt, only to push it off his shoulders with care, wishing to undress Jim further.

Jim dropped his hands for a moment to let the shirt fall to the ground behind him, before initiating his own kiss, equally as tender as Khan’s at first, but then deepening into passionate, with the play of tongue and lips.  “Those are all nice options,” Jim agreed, nipping at Khan’s nose and tugging at his shirt.  “Noon, I think very much I would like to see you without this shirt as a barrier.”

"Hmm-" Khan hummed as Jim spoke his name, it was calming, as to him it expressed a connection he had not had with another being for quite some time. He nuzzled Jim once more before drawing himself up, shoulders back and spine arched, reaching for the lower hem of his shirt before stripping it off his torso, up and over his head, only to drop it on the floor. He took a deep breath, giving Jim a chance to look at him like this; the unobstructed view he was asking for. But as he let Jim look, Khan reached forward to touch the other man on his shoulder, then lightly draw his fingers across his chest, just scraping over his nipple, then down further across the flat of his stomach. A gentle lion perhaps, but a lion nevertheless.

Jim arched into the light touches, encouraging the wandering hand to go where it would, even as he reached up and out to caress Khan’s magnificent build.  He wasn’t shy, pinching the buds of nipple that stand out so well on an ivory chest.  His fingers knew their trade, plying the sensitive peaks until they are erect and nearly throbbing under his touch.  Jim gave no warning, before moving to replace hands with mouth, needing to taste those same, tortured little spots.

Once more Khan begins to relax. As long as Jim is touching him, showing just how interested and keen he is to play with his new partner, the easier Khan found it to be. "Ah- very good." Khan said with approval, fingers finding a nice comfortable hold at the back of Jim's neck. Another warm purr and the slightest tint of color began to rise to the surface of his otherwise pale skin.

Jim chuckled a little and tugged lightly at the nipple with his teeth, before sucking eagerly for a few, long, drugging moments.  And then he raised his head reluctantly, kissing the nipple a soft farewell, and nuzzled at Khan’s right cheek.  “Nice thing about this room,” he said, stepping backward, away from Khan, “is that it has equipment for all sorts of activities.”  He trails his fingers down Khan’s chest, even as he moves another step back.  “Nice, soft mats for some of the acrobatics and gymnastics people like to do.”  

Of course Khan stepped forward, following lead this once. He did not even think on it, or question it. Jim had his full attention. "Is that what you intend to show me, Jim? Your acrobatic capabilities?" He grinned slightly, but then caught the other man up by his wrist, not wanting him to get too far ahead, even if it was a matter of a few feet. "Tell me" he said as they approached the mats along the side of the room, "what sort of activities you like."

“All of them,” Jim said with a sensual twist of his hips and another step back, leading Khan with him.  “Anything that is consensual and fun for both parties.”  He rubbed his thumb tenderly over Khan’s knuckles.  “I do love showing off my oral talents, the advantages of having an oral fixation.”  He flicked his tongue teasingly over his lips again.  “I love taking of my partners ... and giving to them, too.  Whatever way the wind blows.”  He bumped up against the wall and then reached out with his free hand to open a hidden door next to him, even as he encouraged Khan up against him again, leaning in for a kiss.

Truly Khan was shocked by the easy attitude Jim had towards sex. It was a fluid way of thinking that had still been quite new in his day. Plus, a part of him felt that as a Starfleet captain, he should not be so willing to compromise himself. After all, Khan was very reluctant to. Still, he took Jim by the hips and kept him pressed back against the wall, kissing him hungrily now; wanting the young captain to make good on his implications. "Show me" he said, "show me what I have been missing."

“What do you want?” Jim asked.  “What do you like from your lovers, Noon?”  He answered the kisses with equal fervor, offering Khan his mouth and sucking his tongue intensely, before claiming Khan’s mouth for himself.  He massaged the back of Khan’s neck and stroked his back and sides, before finally breaking away again.  “Help me get something soft to lie on?”

"Attentiveness. Devotion. Passion. Curiosity. Bravery." Khan said, keeping his eyes on Jim, mouth close to his as he answered. These were perhaps abstract concepts, but they were things that often shined through at the hands (and lips) of a great lover. Khan then began drawing out the foam mats that were stored in the walls and began to lay them out. But instead of making them all in a row, Khan attempted to make a sort of platform out of them, laying several on top of one another, preferring some resemblance to a bed rather than the floor.

“Mmm, then let me show you those things,” Jim said, as he helped set the last of the mats into place.  He grabbed a few pillows and tossed them on the mat, placing one at the head and kneeling down behind it.  “Lie down and place your head here for me, Noon?”  He patted the pillow and then fluffed it up invitingly, though nowhere near as inviting as the heated look he gave Khan.

"Thank you." Khan said, his tone gentle and entirely sincere. For a moment he felt at home, as if Jim were his new young lover welcoming him after a long and difficult day. So he settled on the mats with ease, stretching out on his back with a sigh. His head found the pillow and he looked up at Jim, engaged by his willingness and eagerness.  

“If I had known things would take this turn, I would have brought some oils,” Jim mused softly, before leaning down to kiss Khan, upside down.  He tugged playfully at his upper lip and then sat back on his knees again.  He smoothed his hands over Khan’s chest and shoulders, just touching and learning the other man.  “But I’ve got good improvisational skills.”  He dug his fingers into the back of Khan’s neck, massaging and encouraging further relaxation.  “And you have miles of skin for me to demonstrate on.”

Khan smiled at the upside down kiss. But as soon as Jim began to touch him again, his eyes lightly closed, expressing trust, but also taking the time to experience Kirk like this, without his eyes reading into things differently. He let the hands upon him do the speaking. He gave a sigh, one hand on the mat at his side, the other against his own stomach, slowly rising and falling with each breath. "You are free to explore. I trust your skills." He said with a slight hum, enjoying the nails upon him and the massage he was beginning to receive. It had after all been over three hundred years since getting any sort of positive attention, and he needed it, very badly.

Jim grinned at the relaxed version of Khan, so different from anything he had seen or experienced with the other man so far.  And he was determined to keep Khan enjoying himself.  He could not do too much more massaging without proper oils, so he moved away from behind Khan’s head and to his left side.  

He lingered a moment, surveying the territory stretched before him to explore and enjoy.  Damn right James T. Kirk was fluid when it came to sexuality.  It was one of his favorite playgrounds, and he always made sure everyone emerged from an encounter thoroughly satisfied.  He determined Khan would join that list and how!

Leaning down, he started by pressing butterfly kisses over Khan’s face, trying to hit every inch of skin.  He figured two things: one, an augment would be much more sensitive than a regular human and two, Khan would not be expecting him to go slow and gentle.  And in this case, surprises were a good thing.  His lips brushed over the closed eyelids.

The slow attention to detail was a very direct way to soften his otherwise withdrawn heart. Khan allowed the kisses, a little smile pulling at his lips from time to time. He was basking in the gift that Jim was giving him, and did not flinch as the lips were pressed against his eyelids. Instead they remained closed, but his hand reached blindly for Jim, finding his side, then coming to rest on his hip, simply wishing to keep a connection to the other man as well. In a way it was also a promise that it would not always be one-way, that Khan would not forget about giving back as well.

Lulling his head to the side, Khan then opened his eyes and refocused them on Jim. There was a silent, curious look before he spoke. "You are spoiling me," he said, feeling the young captain should be made aware of this important fact.

“I’m paying you my attentions,” Jim countered with an amused smile, exploring the very tender spot behind Khan’s left ear.  “Showing you no small measure of devotion, nicely mingled with passion.”  He bit the lobe and then sucked at the small scrap of flesh, before heading down.  “Indulging my curiosity about every inch of you.”  He scraped his teeth down the long column of Khan’s throat, pausing once to explore his adam’s apple.  “Showing you I’m not afraid to take my time, play a more ... submissive role in sexual encounters.”  He worked up a mark on Khan’s throat. knowing it would vanish all too soon.

"Ahh-" Khan slowly sighed at the small bites, finding it quite enjoyable, he let slip a few soft moans. Abilities aside, the thin skin stretched across his neck was still a tender place for any man. Even a human, but especially one as strong as Kirk could use the opportunity to bear their teeth and rip out his throat where he lay. And yet that too was thrilling.

But this was the way of things Khan understood best, these were the roles he was most comfortable with. Even if it only now survived in the bedroom. "Keep your hands upon me ... Jim." He said, hesitating with the use of his name only because another word had nearly been there in its place. A word that was long extinct, like so much else. But it had been a title of sorts, a way to recognize someone who was a male lover, but also an equal and not a slave, a warrior met in battle or a fellow solider, a man of strength adored by another man of strength. But the term was inappropriate to use so soon and should not have come to Khan so easily. "Please." He added as if to show the delay had been intentional, but also to show there was no abuse in power with Kirk's willing submission.

Jim shifted to take his weight more comfortably just on his legs, freeing up his hands for other things.  Still, they were secondary as far as his exploration, went, one moving just ahead of his questing mouth, while the other trailed lazily where it willed.  He made sure to go no lower than the waist of Khan’s pants, though, teasing through the start of his happy trail.

His mouth remained the center of his own enjoyment, as he baptized every piece of skin with loving detail.  He didn’t neglect any of the multiple tools at his disposal, teeth, tongue, lips, and even the hint of a cheek now and then.  By the time he reached one of Khan’s nipples, he was ready to latch on and suck fiercely.  He’d worked up quite the appetite!

Khan had moaned openly, thrilled by the mouth upon him. His breath was deep and hard despite the fact that he was laying perfectly still. Kirk had worked him up quite well. A few patches of skin still retained soft blushes of color from the bites and sucking mouth, and his body was quite warm to touch too.

"Very good." He praised, hand sliding up his side, but then came to rest on the center of his back, just petting him slowly along his spine. Aside from this arm, the rest of him was completely relaxed, showing no signs of movement as he remained still on the foam mat.

Jim made an amused sound, even as he sucked noisily away at the same nipple, before switching to torment its twin.  Khan’s praise made him feel vaguely like some sort of household pet, and he wondered vaguely if that wasn’t how a man such as himself would have been viewed in this particular role.  There to fulfill the emperor’s every desire, but with no other function and certainly not an equal.  

Still, as long as it was a fantasy, Jim didn’t mind.  He’d certainly indulged others much worse.  And more perverse.  

He pressed a sweet kiss to Khan’s breastbone, just above his heart, and then worked his way down over the hard planes of spectacular abs.  His newest lover certainly won all prizes in that area, though Jim confessed to himself that he liked a bit of give here and there in a lover.  Even in the hard planes of a man’s body, a certain softness was nice.  He scraped his teeth over Khan’s navel and then made love to the small divot with thrusts of his tongue.

Sliding his fingers up the back of Jim's neck, Khan took a light hold of the short blond hairs against his scalp. Squeezing slowly, then releasing, letting the silky hairs slip through his fingers so that he could grab them again. "You are quite skilled." He said with a purr, "I am both relaxed and aroused ... and you have done this to me." He groaned, sliding his free hand over himself, revisiting some of the key placed Jim had uncovered with his mouth.

Jim traced through the sparse, dark hairs that ran into the waist of Khan’s pants and then let himself fall further back to test the truth of Khan’s words.  He nosed at the bulge he found at his groin, rubbing a cheek over it in a playful manner.  “Yes, you are rather hard here,” he said.  “And large.  Whatever shall I do with all of this?”  

He slid gracefully into position beside Khan’s hips, not wanting to alarm the man by going between his legs.  The connotations there were not always welcome by one of the same gender.  And with Khan, Jim was certain there had been none who dared even ask to top him.  He considered the scene that might have followed with a kind of aroused amusement.  

It was true however, Khan would have felt entirely baited if Kirk had decided to part his thighs and move between his legs. Even in an effort to blow him, the initial movement to part him like that would not have been received very well. But thankfully Kirk did not treat Khan like a modern day lover and instead recognized his perhaps older, traditional ways of things.

Khan found one of the stray hands upon his body and covered it with his own, helping to guide it down over his own body. He showed the way to the top hem of his pants and the fastening that kept them closed. Khan picked them apart with ease, then took up Jim by the hand once more, sliding both under the fabric as a personal escort to his thick erection. Khan groaned, hips rolling up and thighs now parting naturally to accommodate the hand. But instead of leaving Jim to his own means, as capable as he was, Khan shadowed his efforts just then, enjoying how it felt to show him like this. How to palm, how to rub, how to squeeze, how to make his hips roll forward again.

Jim allowed the guidance without fight, though there was mild annoyance in his breast at being treated like a novice.  Or a toy?  It was a little hard to tell what Khan thought, trending toward impossible.  He obviously enjoyed himself, however, so Jim contented himself with that.  He did want his partners to have fun, though he preferred to be less of a conduit and more of a conductor. And learning what gave a lover the most pleasure for himself he considered one of the best parts.  

But even if he was an ass at other times, Jim prided himself as being a gentleman in the bedroom, so he waited out the demonstration and even made appropriately approving noises as Khan surged into their joined hands.

"Ahh- there." Khan sighed deeply and licked at his own lips. It had been far too long since he had indulged in such activities, by himself or let alone with another. Many of his nerves and muscles had forgotten what it meant to be stimulated like this. But now he was satisfied that he would not disappoint, either himself or Kirk. So finally he trusted Jim's hand to remain unattended while he slipped his own out. "Do not be offended." He said, reading some of Jim's apparent disappointment at not being able to discover these things on his own. "It has been some time." He attempted to explain. "I would like to kiss you again." He said, but did not pull at Jim's hair to make it happen, instead he waited for his lips patiently.

“That is a shame,” Jim said, responding to the notion of Khan going without for a long time.  He needed at least his own hand almost nightly and preferred companionship.  Hence, this current insanity.  

There was also a slight chill in him at how easily he had been read by Khan.  He hadn’t meant the other man to see his disappointment.  It was bad manners, at least, on Jim’s part to have given that away.

He followed the urge to his head and kissed Khan lightly, testing to see if the older man wanted to lead or follow.  

But the kiss Kirk offered was too gentle, too light for what Khan was after. So he arched his neck and pressed for another, parting those lips with his tongue, kissing open mouthed and sucking on the opposing tongue with a groan. "Jim-" He said his name, tone on the verge of begging. He did not want Kirk to stop, but would not force his hand if he was truly turned off by the way things had played out. It had not been Khan's intention to deprive Kirk of the experience he wanted.

Jim answered the kiss by deepening his own response, pressing into Khan again and attempting to give as good as he got.  Truth, he could not match Khan for strength and stamina, but he had finely honed skills that he brought to bear to try and even the playing field.

The slight note of urgency in Khan’s voice, which Jim suspected might be as much as Khan ever showed, did speak of the need to increase the pace of his former play.  He had not thought of how long the other man had been without, having delved too deeply into the simple pleasure of learning a lover for the first time.  But now was seemingly not the time for such play.  He needed to pick up his tempo.

Parting their mouths with a last lick to Khan’s lower lip, he slithered back down like a snake to settle by his side again. He reached for the opening of Khan’s pants and gently peeled them to the side and his briefs down to reveal his erection.  And oh yes, it was impressive.  But there was no time to get lost in sightseeing.  He would hopefully have another chance.

Bracing himself, he leaned in and began swallowing down all of that lovely cock as would fit in his mouth in one go.

"Oh- such a lovely mouth." Khan groaned slowly. He was accustomed to giving praise to his partners, making sure they knew they were doing a good job, since sometimes reading into his more subtle reactions was difficult to interpret. But then again, that was several hundred years ago. Still, Jim had every reason to feel good about himself, to be proud of his efforts.

Reaching back with both hands, Khan held onto the edge of the mat just behind his head. Stretching himself out like some sort of giant feline, the small of his back arched off the foam surface, body shifting and writhing with pleasure. Power dynamics aside, it was such a thrill to have that mouth on him, warm and wet and eager to please. He groaned again, lifting his head up slightly and let his eyes fall on the young captain as he worked to pleasure him.

Jim pulled back to just the very head of Khan’s cock, using his hand to spread the moisture from his sucking down the long shaft.  He could then effectively pleasure with mouth and hand simultaneous.  The compliment rolled off him, as he was very familiar with that sentiment.  His mouth got him in and out of more trouble than any other part of him.  

Jim knew a lot of people who viewed giving head as some sort of degradation, a lowering of the one giving and empowerment of the one taking.  That had never sat well with him or been the way he viewed things, since the first time on either side.  There was power on both sides, and a lot more generosity on the part of the giver.  He considered it essential of a truly good lover to be willing to give, as well as receive, on all ends.  And for the receiver to treat the giver with respect and true appreciation for the giving.  He’d definitely had a few first timers who struggled mightily around his own girth.

The thought made him grin around Khan, even as he took even more in.  He aimed to have it all, but not quite yet.  There was no need to rush quite that much.  He pulled all the way back again, scraping his teeth on the length.

On the one hand it was easy to imagine he was still emperor or pharaoh or some other sort of living god among men, being treated to sweet company after a long and tiresome day. But in this case, Khan's long day had lasted several years, during which he had endured torture and the murder of his loved ones, continued fighting and pressure to keep moving forward. All without relief, all without self indulgent comforts. Except for now. Jim was working it out of him, easing his tension and relieving stress; serving to provide human comforts to the part of him that was indeed quite human. Khan needed this.

Combing his fingers through his own hair, twisting and clenching, Khan began to tease himself. His hips began to rise, searching and pressing for more, but was by no means forceful about it. This was an enjoyable pace and the attention Jim was giving him was well appreciated.

Jim adjusted to the first thrust with the ease of practice, though he was grateful it came neither hard nor fast. Khan was built large, after all.  Still, he put the hand not stroking Khan’s erection and sometimes working his sack on Khan’s right hip, petting to indicate the thrusts were alright and he could take more.  In fact, Jim was working on getting all of Khan into his mouth and throat.  

He hummed in satisfaction when his nose finally pressed into the deep, black curls of Khan’s groin, and then swallowed hard around the intrusion.  He inched back enough for a breath, before going deep again.  Khan tasted strong here, a delightfully masculine flavor, heavy and with the tang of salt and power.  It was heady, and Jim reclaimed his rhythm, clicking right back in, as if never disturbed before.

Khan was not one to be rude or vulgar with his words, but even so, the sounds and syllables of some very colorful curses were on the tip of his lips, just barely kept back from slipping out. The constrictive throat muscles and tongue wrapped around his erection was all too sweet. He began to hum and groan with every deep breath, thrusting as Jim proved willing for it.

Releasing his own hair, Khan let his hand fall to his own chest, rubbing firmly over his torso and up along his collarbone. Jim had kissed him in these spots, and his scent lingered over his entire body that Khan simply wanted to roll around and bathe in it. His free hand reached to stroke Jim once more along his backside, rubbing until he was palming his ass; craving to reconnect with him as well.

Jim released Khan with an obscene noise and looked up at him with blown blue eyes.  The hand at his ass definitely had his attention and sparked his curiosity.  “You asking for something?”  He pushed back into that hand, enjoying the way it palmed him through his pants.  His own erection he’d basically forgotten in the pleasure of giving Khan attention, but he became very much aware of it again, as he moved.

He watched Khan stroke himself, as well, nearly wanton in his obvious delight.  Mischief filled him, and he ducked down to give a stinging bite to Khan’s left thigh, in the sensitive spot just below the groin.

"You-" Khan said with a soft gasp as Jim pulled his mouth off, "are very good." He grinned deliberately, giving his ass a squeeze. But Khan bucked his hips under the bite, his cock twitching at the sudden thrill. "You-" He growled out softly, not meaning any threat by it, but the bite did get quite the reaction from him.

Sitting up, Khan leaned forward and began to pour affectionate kisses and bites along Jim's neck and shoulder, breathing hotly against his bare skin. "I want to feel more of you." He said, slipping his hand down the back of Jim's pants, fingernails digging against the round of his ass. "Take these off- lay with me."

Jim undid the tight fastenings of his pants with a small breath of relief, even as he leaned back to make it a bit of a show for Khan.   He revealed that he hadn’t worn anything under the tight, gleaming black and then shimmied them off with controlled moves of his hips.  He tossed them away, leaving himself completely nude and unashamed.

Still, before he joined Khan, he moved to finish the removal of Khan’s own pants, which had ended up twisted and wrinkled beneath him during their previous activities.  He ran tender hands down the long length of strong legs, squeezing his ankles once. As his hands made the return trip upward, Jim followed them, crawling up Khan’s body in his own imitation of a predator. But again, prudence and an understanding of the strong alpha personality slid Jim to the side, so he was no longer moving on top of Khan, but beside him.  He trailed his fingers over the warm torso, until one hand cupped his face, and they were pressed length to length in full.  “Like this?”

Although previously the two men had misunderstood and fought or argued with one another, this conversation seemed to be going quite well. Jim was speaking his language and Khan was very taken in by it. Khan kept his eyes on the younger man, excited and pleased by every move he made. Khan found him to be attentive and playful, even brave and daring.

So as Jim laid against him, Khan reached over and wrapped both arms around him, shifting slightly to face him. Hips and stomachs pressed and rubbing slightly as each man breathed. "Yes- just like this." He purred, grabbing a handful of his backside, keeping their bodies pressed as he turned his head to nuzzle as kiss the man in his arms.

Jim hooked one arm around Khan’s back, relying on the augment’s strength to keep them both up off the mats a little.  He answered the kisses with his own and dotted his face and neck with them when Khan gave him the opportunity.  His other hand gripped Khan’s hip and allowed him a little more leverage to press them together.  And then he rolled on his back, tugging to encourage Khan on top.  

“Come here,” he murmured invitingly, not at all unwilling to let the much stronger augment claim the upper position.

Like this, Khan really was quite a large and menacing looking man. His round shoulders and long arms boxed Kirk in from all sides, still holding him firmly. But in a moment Khan eased the hold he had and cupped Jim on the side of the face with one hand instead. Pressing their lips together to kiss him sweetly as he let their cocks rub and press as Khan settled some of his weight. "Comfortable?" He asked, head bowing down to kiss Jim against his shoulder, beginning to lick at the salty skin, left over from the sweat of their dance earlier.

Jim tangled a hand in Khan’s hair, stroking like he would a big cat, and enjoyed the feel of a slick tongue working over his shoulder.  “Mmmmhmm.  Very comfortable.” He licked the palm of his left hand until it was good and slick and then reached between them to grasp both of their erections.  He rubbed them expertly against each other, hips beginning to move of their own accord as he picked up a pace and grip that really worked.  “How about you?”

"Yes." Khan groaned, "Just like dancing." He said, still leaving kisses and gentle bites against his skin but no marks that would be seen when he still wore his uniform. Several times however Khan paused, his shoulders locking up as a new wave of heat shot through his body. He would pause and gasp against Jim then, only to start kissing him all over once he was recovered.

Thrusting their cocks together between Jim's hand, Khan pulled his head back slightly to lock eyes with the other man. "Will you be able to get off like this?" He asked with some concern, clearly wanting Jim to enjoy himself as well. He licked his lips before adding, "I would very much enjoy coming against your skin-" Marking him, in a way; though was careful not to say exactly that.

Jim knew exactly what Khan meant and smiled a come-hither flash of teeth, before saying, “Come all over me, if you want.  I’d enjoy that.”  He deliberately twisted his hand over the head of Khan’s cock, tugging with a little more force than he would use on a normal human.  “Would you like me to come this way?  Or is there something else you’d prefer?”

The permission sparked something new in Khan. His sharp, bright eyes picked over Jim with unreserved hunger. "Yes" he growled possessively, kissing and biting as he rolled his hips, fucking himself against the other erection. "I want to watch you." He said, fingers finding their place in the short blond hair, grabbing hold to keep Jim just where he was.

Even with his head held immobile, Jim refused to be passive and thrust hard into Khan, hand still working them both.  There was something electrifying in the suddenly aggressive response, a piece of Khan unleashed.  He dug the fingernails of his other hand into the skin just below Khan’s nape and held on as tight as he could, putting everything into meeting that response.

“Next time, we’ll do this right all the way,” Jim growled in response.  “Have a nice, sturdy bed and all the damn supplies we need.  I want to feel you inside me.  Fuck, but the idea makes me so fucking hot, lover.  Your strength.”  He bit at Khan’s mouth, hard, but still with the intent to arouse.

"Yes." Khan growled, "I will bed you properly." He said, making it sound like a vow. As thrilling as this had become, Khan still had very clearly notions of how to take a lover; and it included being well prepared and having a bed to explore their union more fully, rather then rushed or improvised in some public place. He smirked as Jim bit at his mouth, and lifted his head just a little to make him work for it. Though it was clear he liked the fight, the challenge, the fact that being on his knees or on his back, Jim Kirk was not completely submissive. He enjoyed that.

"I will have you." He breathed, fingers curling into a fist as his arm locked, holding himself up over Kirk just enough. His head dropped between his shoulders with a defeated gasp and quite suddenly he was coming against Jim, over his fingers and cock, against his stomach, spilling his slick load until at least he could breathe once more with relief.

Jim worked Khan through the length of his orgasm, busy fingers milking out the last drops of an impressive release.  He hoped there was some kind of cleaner in the room, or he would have to use his poor shirt to take care of the mess.  Still, there was something rather edifying about having made the mighty Khan come with such abandon.  He moved his hand up, away from his own, still hard, cock and cleaned off every trace with his tongue, smirking up at Khan.

“Have me, will you?” he asked saucily.  “Figured you’d be the possessive type.  Like to mark me all over.”  He reached down to trace through the mess on his skin.  “Get all feral and demanding.”

Khan watched, eyes blown wide as Kirk sucked off his own fingers. It was a delicious sight. "And how would you like that? Taking something feral into your bed?" Khan sucked at his own lower lip, eyeing Kirk. Slowly he released his hair, only to drag his fingertips down his neck and across his throat, mimicking something much more dangerous. Though by the time his hand reached his collarbone and the front of his chest, Khan was leaving light pink scratches against the skin.

Oh, Khan.  Silly, silly Khan.

Jim’s mouth curled into his most deliberate smirk, cocksure and unafraid in the face of danger.  “I haven’t regretted it any of the other times.”  His eyelids lowered to half-mast, saucy and seductive and half-taunting.  “Would hope you don’t disappoint me, lover.”

He arched up into the hands on his chest and throat, that gauntlet he always threw down in the face of people who underestimated him.  And that list was long.

Unfortunately this wasn't a game for Khan, not something one did with a partner as a game, as a role to play and then give up later on. He took the fact that Kirk had let someone else dominate him quite seriously. For a moment, there was a new, but genuine sort of fury. "Who else has had you like this?" Past lovers wasn't an issue, or even the question. But in Khan's state of mind, Captain James T Kirk should not have let anyone else dominate him, mark him, or any rights to claim him. Khan was allowed, because he was Khan, obviously. But someone else? Everyone else was unworthy of that honor. Khan growled and gave a very firm bite against his shoulder, leaving marks but not drawing blood. Though as soon as he had done it, Khan rolled his head to the side and rubbed against the sore spot with the side of his face.   

Jim hissed as Khan bit him and then frowned a little as the augment then rubbed against him like a big cat.  He did a quick mental backtrack over the whole situation and decided Khan’s form of possessiveness was not something to feed.  That look of anger when he’d revealed that Khan wasn’t the only one to get to top him.  As if topping meant something in the larger scheme of things.  Fuck, it probably did to Khan.  

If a really hot round of sex resulted in Khan refusing to take him seriously as the captain or acting like Jim belonged to him, Spock and Bones were going to kill him.  They might kill him anyway, if they found out about this.  Fuck, why did he let his brain get influenced by his balls so often?

Thus, he ignored the question in favor of trying to gentle Khan with a soothing hand in his hair, while also reaching down to try and jack himself off as quick as possible.  He, fortunately, knew all the tricks for that.  Afterward, once all the hormones and damn sexual energy dissipated, he could try having a conversation with Khan about this.

Maybe with that nice cell wall between them…

Fuck.

Closing his eyes as Kirk pushed his fingers through his black hair, Khan was silent, but his breathing was still agitated. He could tell Kirk did not want to answer him, and pressing the issue would only anger him further. He cringed, left only to his imagination instead of the truth. Regardless, if it had been one or one hundred, Khan would not have liked it.

Shifting his weight, Khan moved to lay on his side facing Kirk, one leg still tangled with his. He slid his hand down Jim, over his ribs and across his stomach, still sticky. He frowned to himself, once more confused by Kirk; after feeling they had done so well. Was this a game to him? Did it not mean anything? With a frustrated sigh, Khan opened his eyes but gave another few bites to his shoulder, though they were much lighter then the one previous.

Though as Kirk started to stroke himself off, Khan palmed the underside of his shaft, fingers massaging his balls. He was still proving that he was willing, even though he was quite silent now. For the most part he was busy watching Kirk, seeing how the man handled himself; and what it was he was hiding.

Jim froze as Khan moved and then shifted with him, hand reaching to touch and then tangle a little with Khan’s.  He caught his eyes and then finished himself off, moving fast and hard, trying to find that physical pleasure he always enjoyed so much.  But the climax was frustrating instead of fun, an empty minute of release to nothing.

He cursed himself internally, knowing this was his fault, as it had been the other times he let this happen.  Khan wouldn’t be the first lover to think there was more to their coupling than the moment, but he was the first that Jim felt quite so fucking guilty about.  Khan viewed him as family and trusted him to lead him straight.  Instead, he’d done this, and the augment would be perfectly right not to trust him again.

Stupid, stupid Jim.

Nothing for it but to gather up that courage and face the music ... and no cell wall.  He had earned a punch, if Khan decided to give him one.  He rolled fully on his side to face Khan, keeping his expression open and earnest.    
  
“So, uh, this is that awkward moment where I tell you that we probably should have talked about this first and then admit that I’m for shit at doing that.  And I learn a lot of things, but I still make mistakes about sex.  'Cause I like sex.  I like it a lot.  With all kinds of people and even some not-as-people-like-as-most-people-prefer people.  I don’t really put any kind of value judgement on being top or bottom, partly because I’ve also indulged in sides and other things that aren’t even on the menu for most beings.  So, I don’t think anything about being ‘dominated’ or ‘marked,’ cause it doesn't really mean anything to me.”  He coughed a little awkwardly.  “But I’m thinking now that’s not the way it is for you, and I should have realized that going in.  So, I’m sorry.”

As Khan watched Kirk go through the motions instead of enjoy himself properly, Khan let his hand fall away near the end, recognizing that his orgasm was entirely forced. That was not how it was meant to be. This was wrong. This was not what Kirk wanted after all.

Khan blinked once as the man turned to face him. But the heat that he had been experiencing in his body left him as soon as Kirk began to speak. Oh. There was no attempt to conceal his disappointment. His features hardened and his eyes grew dark. This sort of thing didn't mean anything to Kirk. It was just that, a thing people did. Whereas it was a dynamic Khan subscribed a great deal of importance to. He was speaking honestly when he had said being called a Lover would be an honorable title. It was a rank in his mind, just as much as anything else. After all, Khan did not share himself with just anybody.

"No. That is not the way it is for me." He finally said, pulling away to sit up. Averting his eyes, Khan reached for his clothes and began to dress, pulling on his pants first, making quick work of it instead of a show. It was perhaps the first time in his life that Khan had ever felt inadequate; he was not what Kirk wanted.

Jim sighed sadly at the coldness that invaded Khan’s face and frame then, knowing that again whatever they had built up had been demolished.  This time, the fault was his, and that left him shamed and angry at himself.  Still, he took on his mistakes now, instead of running from them, so he continued in the same tone, “I deeply regret leading you on in any way.  I- well, I’ve grown to like you, despite everything, and I still promise to do the best by your family and you in finding your new home.”

He paused and then continued in a quieter voice, “I am a slut.  I’ve never tried to pretend anything else.  But I don’t do this with just anyone anymore, not like when I was alone and running from anything that had any meaning.  It’s been a long time ... for me.  And the heat between us wasn’t fake or forced.  I wanted you ... I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still attracted to you.  Still don’t want you.  Your strength and intelligence and loyalty to those you care about.  It’s not like it meant nothing to me.”  His shoulders rippled in a shrug of apology.  “It’s just not quite the way you thought, maybe.”

Blowing out another long breath, he stood and began to put on his own pants, walk of shame time.  A deserved one.  But before he finished putting on his clothes, he raised his head and went on with his thoughts, “And what I said about being marked and dominated, I meant that it means nothing in terms of how I view myself.  Even when I do fall, if anyone will ever have me, I won’t believe I belong to that person.  I’ll be faithful and love them, I hope, but I won’t be their property.  I won’t want someone who’s willing only to take things and not give them in return.  That’s just not who I am, Khan.”

He buttoned up his shirt and straightened himself out as best he could, before moving to put the room to rights.  “Still, this is all on me,” he said, “and I won’t try to shirk that responsibility.  If you’d prefer not to have anything to do with me for the rest of your time on the Enterprise, I’ll understand.  We’ll still find a way to make this work for your people.”

"No, Captain. If you avoid me on purpose for the remainder of our journey, I will find it difficult to bear." Kirk was family, he was all that Khan had to connect with, but more then that, he was Captain also. As promised, Khan would still respond to his command. But if Kirk abandoned him entirely? Left him without leadership? Khan's eyes glazed over slightly as the potential oncoming insanity swam through his head, giving him a taste of the madness that could overtake him. If he wasn't allowed to be the dominating force he was bred for, then he needed structure and to feel from Kirk that he was not being lead astray, that he could still trust him to be in command.

"I understand that you will do right by my people, that you will fulfill your duty and promise to see them unharmed and relocated." He said, but his tone was neutral and eyes still absent.

"However-" Khan swallowed and turned to speak directly to Kirk, face to face. "Your responsibility to me is different." He pulled on his shirt and tugged at the hem, making sure it was flat against his chest, trying to regain some sense of propriety. He would not have this conversation out of uniform.

"You have set down the rules and I have followed them. But in this moment you have shown yourself inconsistent. You say you want me in your bed, but I do not think you understand what that means to me, the weight that carries. You say you do not mind being marked or dominated, but to you it is a game, and to me it is not. I do not treat such things so lightly. And I find it distressing that you place so little value on yourself; to throw yourself to anyone who will have you."

Khan remained steady and still as he spoke, even his eyes remained on Kirk, expressing that nothing else was more important to take his attention. "I would have you, Captain. And I would keep you. But it is not a matter of property or slavery. It is loyalty." The word held much meaning for him, so much that it was difficult to put into any other words, so he hoped that Kirk understood some of the implications of it.

"It is unfortunate that we did not get the chance to indulge under the right forum. You would have been well satisfied, I think. And you would have seen that the affection and attention is not one sided, but an equal exchange." However this had not been the right circumstance. Khan did not get the chance to give back in the way he had wanted. He had not been able to give Kirk the attention and care he wished to show him. It was not a 'first time' he would have chosen for them, but it had happened nevertheless.

"I am quite fond of you. But if I am just a way for you to pass the time, it will not sit right in my heart. In which case I ask that our encounters return to professional exchanges only."

That first part was the most important, and Jim straightened with a nod toward Khan.  “Professionally, whatever you need, please let me know.  I want to be a part of your time on the Enterprise, at least that way.  I’ve enjoyed watching you develop your experiments and slowly interact with other members of the crew. As for the rest-”  He turned and paced a few steps away, pausing for a moment before he turned back and returned to stand in front of Khan again.  

He met that imperious gaze with his own, refusing to let himself flinch.  “As for the rest, I should have taken more care with your feelings.  Sex is not without meaning for many people still, but given the diversity of peoples that humans have encountered now, a lot of different cultures do not place the same value on physical pleasure.  And I’ve always been more toward the latter and never attached a value judgement on myself for it.”  

Not that he could deny, if asked, that he placed a rather low value on himself in terms of personal worth in a relationship sense.

“And for the record, I didn’t find you lacking during our somewhat aborted liaison.  I’m also sorry for not giving you a chance to reciprocate.  I don’t doubt you’re spectacular in bed.”   

He paused again and asked with a bit of uncertainty, “You mean, even after this, you’d like to try being together while you’re on the Enterprise?  Keep me, as it were?”

Khan drew in a deep, but slow breath, then sighed. "I am old fashioned, by your terms. Three hundred years, old fashioned. But I would treat you well, Captain." He said, wanting to assure the other man on this point. "We could provide companionship to one another that cannot be had from those that serve us. We could still be good together. But I am firm on my previous points. To be mine- and to be your lover means loyalty. No one else is to have, what we have. The partnership is exclusive." He said, his hand turning into a fist as he pressed it against his own chest. "I will not share you. And it would be unwise to trigger my jealousy as it is not a game to me." Mindful of himself once more, Khan unclenched his fists and dropped his hands to his sides.

Jim tilted his head to the side and considered the idea for a long moment, wanting to let Khan know that he wouldn't make such a decision lightly.  And then he smiled and nodded once, reaching to take one of Khan’s hands.  “Yeah, I think I’d like that.  But maybe we can go slowly this time, as much as it’s hard for me to say that.  Try something fairly novel to me ... dating.  I know better than to stray when I’m promised to you.”  He tried a smile.

As Kirk took his hand, Khan looked down between them, hesitating at first. But then his free arm hooked around Kirk and pulled him in tightly, hugging him to his chest. Interestingly, this was not a possessive gesture, but a protective one. He nuzzled the side of his head, and held onto Kirk much longer then what was generally socially acceptable. "I would like that as well." He finally said, then pulled back slightly.

“I warn you, I may be terrible at this,” Jim said.  “Not at not having sex with other people, but at a relationship.  I’ve never really given it much of a try.  On purpose, you know?  This isn’t exactly how I thought I’d start.” 

A relationship was not something that people always had time for. And Khan could not honestly say he had been engaged in one either. His lovers were companions he took for a few nights, maybe a few months if the situation allowed it, but never anything lasting. "You have various relationships with everyone you encounter, Captain. Ours is simply ... a little more involved."

"Do you have rules for me?" He asked, thumbing over his cheek before letting his hand fall away. "You are aware of my terms. What are your expectations?"

“Yeah, I was using the r-word in the romantic sense.  Though, until Bones, I didn’t really have relationships of any sort,” Jim admitted.  “He and I were good for each other that way.  Neither of us had anybody when we joined the Academy.  We were natural friends.”  He leaned a little into Khan, as he considered the questions about terms and expectations.

“Well, we need to be honest with each other,” he said finally.  “Open about stuff, especially if you feel upset or jealous.  I’ll do the same.”  He huffed out a faint breath and then asked quietly, “I suppose you’re a top only?”

"Ah." So that was the question most weighing on his mind. Khan brushed back a few short blond hairs from around Kirk's ear, helping to tidy him up after laying on the floor mat with him. "Not to be vulgar," he said at first, indicating that he was going to be direct on this issue, "but it is not in my nature to get down on all fours and take it, if that is your meaning. However-" he added just as quickly, still keeping his hands on Kirk. "I am flexible in many other areas. This will not be one sided, it will be an exchange, I assure you."

“But you view being on ‘all fours’ as beneath you,” Jim said, taking a step back, “but it’s fine for me to offer you.  What else is fine for me, but not acceptable for you?”  He shook his head a couple of times.  “I understand that cultures are different.  Some cultures are very strict about sex and others are very open.  Some don’t allow certain things because they believe they’re wrong or dirty or against the natural way of things.  And I respect that when those rules or beliefs apply to both partners.  Not so much when one partner refuses it, but expects and wants it from the other.  An unequal exchange.”

Jaw locking, Khan breathed out of his nose sharply at these words. "Captain-" He said tightly, then took a breath. He was frustrated with Kirk for that one. Turning his head to the side, Khan then lowered himself to the floor to sit and gestured for Kirk to do the same. On his knees, sitting back on his heels, Khan kept his back straight and hands open against his thighs, not wishing to show himself as a threat for this conversation even though it had upset him. "Captain." He said again, "If you were my husband, it would not be an issue." He said at first, pausing a moment before attempting to elaborate.

"But I am not in a position where I can take a husband or wife. I cannot be compromised in this way." Khan rubbed the palm of his hand over his leg as he considered the other man, "To you, it comes easy. It is not a problem. For me ..." He trailed off, frowning, but looking more concerned then angry now. "Captain." He said at last, "I would like to speak with you as a friend, as my commander. You said that I could. And I would like to do that now."

JIm sat down in a lotus blossom position, also trying to look both serious, but unthreatening and unthreatened.  Khan really was a lot of work, he thought.  “I want you to speak your mind, yes.  Please.”  He made an open gesture with both hands, asking Khan to feel free to express his feelings and thoughts.

Khan folded his hands in his lap, but then indulged in a nervous sort of gesture, rubbing his thumb against the opposite palm as he spoke. "I love my people. Very dearly. You have come to know that in many different ways. The incarnation of that love has resulted in much violence, and compromise, torture and death." Addressing the issue was difficult for Khan, but he forced his way through it. "They love me for my loyalty to them. They will love me when I am there to wake them up, to be the first voice, the first sight they see. And they will love me for finding them a new home, for making good on my promise to them over three hundred years ago. But-" Khan paused, on the verge of breaking his own hand without even realizing it. So he released the hold he had on himself and pressed his hands flat against his legs once more. "They will not love me for those who have died. They will not be understanding. They will not be very forgiving. Nor will they be pleased with the other compromises I have made to see them safe and free."

Khan took a breath and a moment to himself before he continued, the weight of it all still hanging on him despite sharing it with Kirk. "I am sharing this with you, Captain, so that you understand what standards I am held to." He considered Kirk and the subject that had originally inspired this. "Let us say, theoretically, one day I wish to take a husband or wife. Even with their approval and support for the match, I will cease to be their leader. And there would be no small amount of disgrace for proving to be selfish."

Lifting his eyes and turning his head to the side, Khan just stared at Kirk for a moment before saying, "Do you understand me at all?"

Jim thought what he was saying was that the augments were a bunch of ungrateful fucks, but that didn’t seem to be a very good response.  “You’re saying that my very existence in your life as a leader you follow, let alone a lover, is a compromise.  And that every compromise more is a weakness on your part, as perceived through your eyes and apparently the eyes of your people.  And there are some compromises, some weaknesses, that you cannot and will not make.”

He nodded once and said, “I understand that.  You have to make the choices you are comfortable with.”  He considered everything he had said, and they had spoken about.  “And so do I.”

His shoulders straightened, posture going completely serious, as he pulled back on the mantle of the captain.  “Your philosophy stinks.  It stinks like the worse pile of horse manure I ever had the displeasure to have to clean up.  Life is a series of compromises.  There are some things you have to draw a line in the sand for, sure.  The most important things.  But the rest, if you’re not flexible, you break.”  He sighed and shook his head once.  “Sorry.  I’m not trying to talk you out of your beliefs.  That’s not my place.  But you’ve asked me to try this with you ... and I want to.  I really, really do.  But I know it would eat at me, the one-sided nature of our relations.  The notion that you’d see it as a weak compromise on my part every time.  I’m not willing to injure whatever we can have in terms of friendship that way.  I’m sorry.”

"Yes." Khan confirmed quietly a gave a slight nod as Kirk proved that he did indeed understand. "There are some compromises that should only be made, if my faith in them is sound." That was to say, if he believed that he had encountered his match, his mate, someone he would share his life with, then he would prove confident enough to give himself entirely to that person, abandoned his role as leader and dedicate himself to that person instead. But what he and Kirk were discussing was for temporary relations with one another, not a lifelong commitment. So as it stood, Khan would still commit himself to his people over all things, especially over himself.

"I know you do not approve, Captain. But I must think of the long term. My people will hold me accountable in the end. And I cannot behave so freely with myself, in terms of sexuality or otherwise, unless I am prepared to answer for it. At this time, I am not." Khan frowned slightly, "It is not meant as a reflection on you. And I wish to correct you, Captain, as I do not see you as weak. I would not respond as well as I do to you, if I did not respect you." Khan turned his eyes down, considering their position. There were things he wanted to do and say, but was accustomed to practicing such control on himself, they were left unaddressed. "We should come to an agreement, however. As I have no wish for you to feel uncomfortable with our dynamic as it is reflected in the bedroom. So I am left to propose- what would you think of a relationship, that remained out of the bedroom? To socialize, to date, as you suggested. Or does that hold no interest for you?"

“We can be friends, sure,” Jim said with a shrug, not seeing the two at the same at all.  There would be no dating here. He and Khan would be more like himself and Bones or himself and Spock, only without some of their warmer dynamics.  Or the ridiculous name calling.  It would be more professional anyway.  “Guess I better get you back, before Spock starts calling.”

He stood and stretched himself out, feeling completely like he’d failed in a lot of ways, but gotten out unscathed anyway.  A lucky break, the kind he’d only gotten lately in life.  He offered a smile for the augment, cooler than before, but still friendly.  “Thank you for not being angry at me.  I am sorry for messing up so badly.”

"Yes, Captain." Khan accepted Kirk's final decision. Sitting forward, he then stood, but remained withdrawn from the young Captain. Now all that was left to him, was the way it had been before; before kissing and dances, touching and holding; now all he had to go on was the sight of the other man, and occasionally catching his scent. But this was Kirk's decision and Khan would abide by it. He had been foolish, both of them had, to want something more.

Jim noticed the distance and felt a pang for it, but shrugged it away.  He turned and headed for the exit, signalling the security guards to take their places, as he led Khan wordlessly back to his cell.  When the augment was behind that cold barrier again, he said with great formality, “Goodnight, Mr. Singh,” and left without another word.

 


	8. A Subtle Shift

Jim walked out of his cabin with that extra loosed limbed feeling he always got after really good sex.  And damn it had been a long time since he’d felt this amazing.  It was awesome when diplomacy and sex could go so neatly hand-in-hand.  The leaders of the newest members of the Federation (go team!) had stressed the importance of being close to their new allies, with an emphasis on the leader of the diplomatic team/Captain of the Enterprise.

Three days with the king and queen of Moldavia had left Jim close to them in almost every sexual sense of the word.  

And they had nothing but good words for the crew of the Enterprise, along with her captain, to send back to the Federation and Starfleet Command.  Not to mention their advanced technologies and very creative arts to share.  Jim himself had been gifted with a rather lovely sculpture.  He wasn’t sure what it represented, but liked it nonetheless.

So, as he headed for Khan’s cell, dressed in his casual best, he could feel the spring in his step, the extra bounce he hadn’t possessed in a long time.  Certainly not after his last disastrous sexual encounter.  And not even the memory of that could dampen his spirits.

Bones had known right away and rolled his eyes nearly out of their sockets, before scanning and hyprospraying Jim half-to-death.  But then he’d clapped him on the back in that understanding way of his and sent him off with a grin.  Jim really did love his best friend.

Dinners with Khan he did not love so much.  They were awkward for him, especially since he didn’t really feel he had much to offer the other man conversationally.  But he did his level best to make sure that he gave Khan the socialization he’d requested.  (He was also looking into other ways to spend time together, such as games where they could team together to reach a common goal.)  He listened with real interest about Khan’s work and music lessons, encouraging him to give a concert for the crew when he was ready.  He tried to be supportive, especially after the second planet turned out to have some rather unfortunate native, carnivorous plants, which were not really detectable in the original scans.  But had proven formidable even for an augment.  So much for planet number two.  He knew Khan was disappointed, as was he, over the lack of success.  But there were many more planets left to try.

Now that their last mission was so triumphantly completed and the Enterprise had moved on, Jim had fetched the information on the third planet for Khan, one he had a good feeling about and thought would be a good topic for discussion over dinner.  Besides, he felt awesome overall, so it was with a real, warm smile that he called, “Khan?  I’m here for dinner, if you’re ready.”

Though his cell hardly represented the comforts and features of guest quarters, Khan had earned a few additional privileges over the last month. The portraits of his horses were on the walls, he had access to a larger digital library on his PADD then he had before, and was even allowed to listen to music through it, as long as the sound levels were within reason. Currently Khan had a piano piece playing lightly to fill the silence in the room, though promptly turned it off once Kirk made himself known. As it was with every time Kirk came to collect him for dinner, Khan was well groomed, shirt and pants crisp and clean, and shoes polished. "Captain." He said with an agreeable nod.

Jim didn’t bother to ask Khan to call him by his name, even though he didn’t really care to be called Captain all the time.  Still, the wall between them had returned, almost stronger than ever.  He deactivated the barrier and asked, “Want to go for a short stroll before dinner?  I’ve a mind to just wander around the Enterprise a little.  Being away for a few days makes me miss home.”

As the metallic buzz of barrier dropped away, Khan instantly caught wind of exactly what Kirk had been up to during his absence on the ship. His nose flared and an uncomfortable feeling crawled up his back, "Yes" he said tightly, then cleared his throat, "Yes" he said calmer, "that would be very welcome."

“Any requests for where we might go?” Jim asked with a wider smile for Khan.  “I love the whole ship, so I’m game for anywhere you might be interested in seeing.”  He noted the security fall into their routine around them, almost second nature to anyone now.  “I’m feeling very much in love with life right this moment, like the universe if my oyster.  Which is a really bizarre thing to say, when you think about it …”

"No requests, Captain." Khan said, not really minding where they went. He had visited many of the key points of the ship already during his stay, one time or another, "Wherever our feet take us." He said, following the pace that was set. However, he knew better then to inquire as to why Kirk was in such a good mood; it was all too clear to each and every one of his senses.

Jim considered and then headed for the Astronomy labs, where they could spend a bit of time looking at the star maps.  But he asked as they went, “Do you mind if we spend a little time in the Astronomy lab?  I thought I could pull up a star chart or two to look at ... dream over.”  He bounced a little as he walked, alive and content and greeting every crew member by name that they passed.  “I’m in the mood to think big.”

Where Kirk showed enthusiasm and excitement, Khan showed restraint. Though when they did pass a crewmember he had not before encountered, he did take the time to link their name and face for future reference. "How do you mean, think big?" Khan asked calmly. "In the sense, of how far the Enterprise will travel?"

“And how much we can accomplish in five years,” Jim said.  “Did you have the saying in your time, about the sky’s being the limit?  As in, dream and think big?  That’s how I feel right now.  Like this crew can accomplish anything that we set our minds and hearts to.  In fact, I have a lucky feeling about this next planet we’re looking at for it.  Third times the charm, right?”

"Yes, I am familiar with the phrase." He said, though glanced to the security officers, briefly thinking they should tether Kirk down to keep him from bouncing off the walls the way he was. "However, I am looking for more then charm and luck when it comes to a new settlement." As they crammed into the turbo lift, Khan kept to the back, as he was expected to, waiting out the ride until it delivered them to the right deck.

The unfriendly response chilled Jim a little, and he looked over his shoulder at Khan.  “The specs look good, too,” he said, eyes narrowing at the other man.  “I wouldn’t say I had a good feeling otherwise.”  He turned his back to Khan deliberately, refusing to let him dampen the good spirits he felt and moved with the same happy, hurried pace down the corridor to the lab.  

Khan simply followed after the captain. He was torn, between wanting to be around the other man, and yet in this moment, wanting to make the evening go by as quickly as possible. Heading into the lab, Khan lifted his gaze and his expression eased somewhat as the live and interactive star charts filled the room. He rarely got the chance to be in a room with a window that overlooked the vastness and beauty of space. So in a way this was a welcome relief to his eyes; to feel like more then an animal in a cage, here at least he had the stars.

Jim spoke to a few of the techs for a moment, both new lieutenants on the Enterprise, their predecessors having been killed the year before.  They looked nervously over at Khan and were glad to be relieved for the duration of his time.  Jim then wandered over to the computers and began pulling up star charts for the next planned leg of the trip, ignoring Khan for the moment.  He got lost in the sea of bright lights, some of them with orbiting planets in all shades of colors and sizes.  

Finally, he highlighted one of the planets and said to the augment, “If you care, that’s Sigma Nu, which is where we’re going to next to explore suitability for your colony.”  He pulled up a closer view, the amazing emerald green of much of the planet, highlighted with the bright blue of water.  “It’s lovely at least from space.”

Picking over the digital image, Khan watched as the planet slowly rotated before him. "Is there animal life native to the planet?" Clearly there was a great deal of vegetation, which finally was something to look forward to. Even if it wasn't consumable, they'd likely prove to have other uses. Just so long as they were not carnivorous like on the previous planet.  

“Nothing very advanced, per our scans and the very initial data collected,” Jim said.  “Actually, there is evidence of an ancient civilization, rather like the ancient Mayan civilization on Earth, but they appear to have died out thousands of the planet’s years ago” Jim bounced again, eagerness returning despite the augment, and he said, “I’m looking forward to doing some exploring of those ruins, as well as looking for some homestead sites for you.  The ship historians are having wet dreams over it.”

"That is indeed promising." Khan said, his tone a little more friendly now. He watched the planet spin a little longer before touching his fingers to the dashboard, pulling out to get a sense of the neighbouring planets and moons. "Does that mean, with an archaeology team, you will be spending more time dedicating to researching the planet once in orbit?"

“You mean, as opposed to looking at places with you or more in the realm of staying longer to get to know the planet better?” Jim asked, looking at Khan sideways.  “Even should it prove unsuitable, we’ll probably stay to learn more about the ancient culture and make notes for a more extensive survey later by another ship.”

Raising his hands slightly in surrender, Khan got the answer he was after. "That's all I meant." Reversing the image, Khan managed to simulate a view of what the night sky would look like once settled on the planet. He picked out patterns in the visible stars, already imaging stories that could be told like ancient Earth cultures used to.

Jim snorted and looked back at the planet, watching as it slowly rotated to show all sides.  He glanced around at the security guards discreetly tucked around the room, before asking in a low tone, “You mad at me about something, Mr. Singh?”

Khan waved his hand over the display, moving some of the images about the room, making his view of Kirk unobstructed, but blocking the sight of the security from reading his lips. "Not mad, Captain." He said, then moved the images around again, so that it did not look like it had been on purpose. "Irritated, perhaps. But there is no anger." He said, hesitating before making eye contact with the other man. "I know what you have been doing the last three days on the planet, and I wish that I didn't."

Jim felt a little embarrassed that Khan could tell what he’d been up to, but shrugged it off with the ease of someone who refused to be anyone other than himself.  He held those eyes and said, “I’m sorry if I make you uncomfortable, but I’m still not ashamed of who I am.  However, I wasn’t trying to make you upset or irritated.”  He felt more than a pang of regret that they were at this point, but the fault was equal between them.  “Honestly, I feel better than I have in a long while and want to be able to enjoy that.”

Even though Kirk had said sorry, everything else about his tone and behaviour was clearly unapologetic. "Perhaps I am not the right company to share this evening." If Kirk wanted to glow and share his delight, Khan was not the right choice for friend to be happy for him.

Jim sighed and felt some of his good mood drift away into the ether.  “Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?  It’s up to you.  I know things between us are strained.  I’ve been trying my damndest to make up for it, but I feel like the best I’m doing is barely treading water.  I want things to at least be somewhat easier between us …”

"I do want to have dinner with you, Captain." Khan answered the question, but elaborated after a sigh, "But not if they have become a strain on you. Your time is valuable and I have been selfish to ask for your attention in this way. You should be taking your dinners with your officers, not your prisoner." Khan kept his eyes down, hands on the counter, but was no longer touching or manipulating any of the features. "However, I do not wish to part on poor terms. So I wish to shake your hand, if you will allow it- and offer an apology, that I cannot share in your good mood."

Jim moved toward Khan, stopped, cursed himself and then bumped his shoulder companionably with Khan’s.  “I want to have dinner with you, too.  Honest.  I just don’t like the idea that I’m irritating or boring you.  You’re not selfish to want some companionship, and I, well, I still like you, Khan.  We’re just a little awkward right now.”

"Well, I have come to accept that we irritate one another constantly-" He said with a little smile, trying to be friendly about it. "No small amount of that is due to the fact that we are similar in our stubbornness." Khan wiped his hand over the dash, clearing all screens of their images. He was however relieved that Kirk did not consider him a burden to be dropped, even after offering to let him out of the agreement for their dinners and socializing.

“There is a rather large mulish streak in both of us,” Jim admitted.  “And you also have a kick like a Missouri mule.”  He flashed a warm smile, good humor returning in full.  “How about we treat ourselves and sneak some food into the Observation Lounge, instead of eating in the mess tonight?”

"Yes, Captain." Khan gave a slight nod, though it was not as stiff as before. "That would be a welcome change." It would save him the trouble of ignoring whispered comments or eyes that unconsciously shifted in his direction whenever he and Kirk sat and spoke somewhere in public. After waiting for the security team to clear the door and the hallway, Khan took up his usual spot between the men as they were escorted down to the mess hall.

“We are in flight formation,” Jim called out playfully.  “Ready for takeoff.”  He moved forward with Khan, amused by how well everyone now moved in tandem and kept in place.  “This is kind of ridiculously awesome.”  He bumped into Khan in a friendly gesture again, trying to get him to relax a little.

"You are a child." Khan said fondly. Though perhaps that was a good thing. He understood that Kirk did not have much of a family life, was a child survivor of mass genocide, and had other troubling aspects to his past; so perhaps that was the reason for his behaviour. He was searching for connections, trying to make up for all the miserable days and nights by being playful, by teasing and making friends with such ease.

Jim waved a dismissive hand in his direction and said, “You’re just jealous of my awesome.”  He saluted his officers, as they peeled off in perfect time to allow Khan and him to walk through the door first.  “So, I hear chef has been making you Indian dishes on the sly.  Any tips for how you got on his good side?”

"A few, yes." Khan admitted to this gently. The chef, or anyone else, really, probably shouldn't be showing him special treatment without approval from Kirk or another ranking officer. Even so, Khan had managed to make a few odd connections here and there. However, he did not want to get the chef into trouble by divulging the circumstances; but since it had already made it to Kirk's ears, and he was curious about it, then it was perhaps alright. "It began in engineering. I was spending a rather long afternoon with Mr. Scott, who put in an order for a sandwich to be delivered while he worked." Khan took up a plate, taking on mostly vegetables and grains from tonight's selection as he spoke. "Mr. Ishi expressed his dismay for Mr. Scott's lack of a gourmet pallet, apparently annoyed that he was reduced to making ham sandwiches for the man. So- we began to speak."

“I think he’s jealous that he doesn’t handle the non-human foods,” Jim confided.  “He wants a chance to show off Earth’s cuisine, too.  And you have a specialized pallette, too, one that’s certainly different from anyone else on the Enterprise.  Means you get a little bit of special treatment for letting him branch out.  Do you order stuff that’s extra spicy?”  He pulled Khan along with him to the front of the line, greeting people cheerfully.  

"Without criticism, I have described food combinations he had not previously considered. And happily, I have sampled his efforts. He has come to perfect a curry soup that I am quite fond of; it is well balanced to my pallet, and to my memory of how it should taste." Reaching for the cutlery, Khan placed the knife and fork on the edge of his plate instead of holding it in his hands; doing this to keep it obvious that he did not intend to use them as weapons.

“That’s not an answer, which I will interpret as yes, you enjoy trying to melt your tastebuds,” Jim said cheerfully, looking over the selection.  He took a small fruit salad, labeled specially for him (damn Bones), and then noticed another plate with his name on it.  Scowling, he examined what appeared to be some kind of vegetable souffle, before banging it on his plate, too.  In fact, he discovered Bones had laid out an entire meal for him, with milk for a drink and no dessert.  Frowning now like a jilted toddler, Jim took the tray and headed for the exit, head held high.  And if he blew a raspberry at his laughing (soon-to-be-ex) best friend, well, nobody commented.  It was all par for the course.

"You have a very curious relationship." Khan commented gently once they were in the hallway. "It is not a criticism." He added, glancing to Kirk as they walked. A part of him was perhaps envious that Kirk had someone who looked out after him in this way; though in the end he pushed it out of his mind, it was his place to look after the others, not the other way around.

“Bones is a very special pain in my ass,” Jim said with a grin.  “He and I met on a transport to the Academy, the only non-straightlaced, jackbooted, ridiculously perfect would-be cadets on the whole damn ship.  He threw up on me, 'cause he was drunk, melancholy and afraid of flying.  It was true love.”  He turned toward the Observation Lounge, fond memories making him smile.  “I nursed him through his divorce heartbreak and flight simulations, and he made sure I didn’t get killed by my allergies, other cadets and jealous boy- and girlfriends.  Not to mention he got me on the Enterprise in the first place, even if he turned me into a puffer fish.”

The images came to Khan with ease as Kirk explained his history with the good doctor. And he smiled a little as Kirk mentioned points of misfortune that McCoy tended to save the young captain from. "Does he disapprove of our socializing?" Khan asked, feeling that with the doctor's influence on Kirk's life, this was a relevant point.

“He’s perplexed by it all, but I won’t lie and say he likes you,” Jim said.  “You’ll never be forgiven for killing me.  That’s just not going to happen.  And augmented or not, if Bones decided to hurt you ... well, he scares me.”  He bumped Khan again, gently to make sure he didn’t spill anything.  “But he’s put up with worse from me.”

"Hm." Khan remained thoughtful. This was worth knowing. "I see." He said as the doors to the observation lounge opened before them. It seemed to be a fair sized room, considering its purpose. Setting his plate down on the long oval table, Khan choose a seat that would allow him a view of space.

“Don’t get that look, Khan Noonien Singh,” Jim scolded, taking a seat of his own and spreading out with a contented sigh.  “Bones won’t hurt you, so long as you don’t hurt me.  He likes to jab me with hyposprays, but I swear that’s his kink or something…”

"That look?" Khan prompted, raising an eyebrow. "What look would that be, Captain." Khan then turned his plate just so, before finally taking up the fork and knife to begin to eat. Though his body required minimal intake to get by, Khan had come to enjoy the routine of his meals. Even if generally he ate slowly, or very little.

Jim approximated Khan’s thoughtful scowl, the one that made him look a cross between constipation and bloody murder, before laughing softly.  “That look.”  He glanced at what Khan had and said, “All right, tell me what chef made you tonight.”

"Hm." Khan just settled again. "This one is mixed grains, spiced, with golden raisin. Grilled vegetables and I believe- his attempt at paneer." He said, indicating to each with the tip of his fork as he spoke. "Though, I would hardly say that he made it just for me. The choice was open to anyone, if they so desired."

“What, did he fail at the paneer?” Jim asked, ready to tease chef the next time he saw him, if he had.  “Not good enough for the Emperor’s plate?”

Khan blinked and then frowned, not entirely sure how to interpret this comment. "No, I'm not saying that. It is a bit overly-salty ... but I would not consider it a failure."

Jim chuckled at Khan’s expression and bit into his own food with a distinct lack of pleasure.  Bones always tried to make him eat rabbit food after a long away mission with feasting and drinking.  He sighed and pushed the morsels around his plate, before setting down the fork.   “Yuck.”

Since Kirk was so particular about his food and eating habits, Khan set down his knife and fork when the other man seemed to reject his own dinner. "Why did you accept the food choices made for you if you do not enjoy them?" Khan asked and looked to the rejected plate of food. There was nothing wrong with it to his eyes, even though the fruits and vegetables did not necessarily compliment one another prepared as they were; but if eaten in the right order, it could still be good.

Jim made a woebegone face at Khan and said, “I just can’t manage them tonight.  Bones is careful not to choose anything I’m allergic or otherwise have a bad reaction to, but there’s always other factors.  I have to eat the food on Away Missions, if I can, so that sometimes makes me a little edgy after.”  He pulled the fruit bowl in front of him and ate that with care.

"You should have Doctor McCoy test to see if your known allergies still exist." Khan said, curious that Kirk would mention having such things. "My blood would have repaired more then your dead cells." He said as a matter of casual fact. "Regardless-" Khan considered his meal before him, then pushed the plate to the side, closer to the picky eater, "if you would like to trade plates, I am not opposed to it."

Jim made a face at him and said, “My allergies are a result of my immune system not recognizing certain things as not being ‘enemies’ and attacking them.  Your blood can’t help with that.  In fact, it made it worse, since you have a better immune system in terms of effectively combating illness.  So, now my body is more effective at being allergic.  Thank you.”

Khan frowned at the answer he was given. "That seems ... odd." His biological programming was meant to fix all defects, that ever existed, or that he ever might come to encounter. "You're immune system should have adapted, to become more like mine." But he would not press the issue, as there very well could be something else at work in this case he was unaware of; even though it did not sit right with him. Sitting back in his chair, Khan sighed, watching the distant stars shift slowly before his eyes.

Jim asked quietly, “Was there ever a case like mine before, though, where a person was changed by an injection of your blood or a serum based on your blood?  I don’t know that everything worked quite the same way as if I were actually rewritten at the level of my DNA.”  He looked over at Khan and said, “I’m not completely like you, after all.  I’m not as fast or as strong or any of those things.”

"No- such things as you mentioned, the speed and strength would indeed require having your cells rewritten entirely. However, as with the case with Lieutenant Harewood's daughter, my blood cells worked as a modifier to her own, filling in the cracks and fixing errors- as a security patch would for a computer." Khan gave a little shrug, "I would think allergies would fall under this category."

Jim glanced over at him sharply and said, “That’s the first time I ever heard you mention her.  May I ask you something?  And I think you might consider it prying, just to be fair upfront about it.”

"Yes, Captain. Go ahead." Khan said, with a vague notion of what was to come.

“Well, a couple of things, then,” Jim said.  “Is she family, Khan?  After all, you saved her life, and you did that yourself, made the serum that saved her yourself.  But at the same time, you killed her father as part of the deal.  Since you don’t know her, does it not matter really to you, that she’s well, like me?”  He made a face at his rambling and said, “I just want to know how you feel about her, about what you did for, and to her.”

"Yes, she is family." Khan said, eyes down on the table where he pressed his thumb into the edge. "Though, she has a mother still, who will likely spare her the role her father took in betraying Starfleet. It is highly unlikely anyone will tell her what she is- what she is a product of. Though if they did, it would be exceptionally cruel." He glanced to the side, catching sight of Kirk. He wondered where Starfleet stood on the issue. Would she be told in time? Would there be medical records to follow her, even though she had not officially received any treatment on the books.

"I will regret not seeing her grow up." He said, "To see what it is she does with her life. But I also understand, I have no right to that information. I made her, and gave her up all at once. And that was how it had to be."

Jim looked at Khan for a long moment and then spoke in a low tone, “I don’t know that I can sympathize with you on that one, Khan.  You saved her life, but also injured her future and destroyed her father.  That’s a lot to lay on one little girl.  And you’re right if you think Starfleet will be keeping an eye on her ... just like they’ll be keeping a special eye on me now, too.  We’re both compromised in a way.  But they let me keep my ship, so maybe there’s some hope.”

Khan turned his gaze back towards the large window and the vastness of space. He did not know why Kirk asked him questions, when he rarely seemed to believe his answers. So he did not talk about it further, for risk of souring his mood again. Earth and that life was far away now. Perhaps on the new world, they really could just be forgotten, and in turn let the troubles of the rest of the universe slip out of their minds. To focus on simple, peaceful things. On art and music. Tending plants and growing food. Building a life that was not troubled by the past, or even the future, only the moment.

“Khan,” Jim said with a sigh, “don’t turn away from me just because I don’t always say the easiest things.  I’m not angry at your words or denying that you view her as family and regret never seeing her again.  But my father died for my well-being, too, though not only for me, and I know how hard it is to grow up without a father and bearing that kind of burden.”

Khan was of course very accustomed to just not listening when it suited his purpose. And Kirk tended to say things that were very difficult to hear. "I cannot save her from that. Nor the isolations she will feel, should she become aware of her difference. She is the youngest of us, and yet she will never know of this family." But those had been among the decisions that had to be made. One that he would have to hold and keep to himself, never to tell the others.

“If you like, I can keep an eye on her and let you know how she’s doing,” Jim said.  “Nothing too intrusive, but a general state of affairs.”  He smiled a little in Khan’s direction, since the augment still wasn’t looking at him.  “If you’re going to allow us Starfleet minions to talk to you, of course.”

Slowly Khan blinked several times, then turned his head to look at Kirk. It took a moment for him to evaluate him, to see that the offer was sincere, that it was not said as a means to placate him. "Yes, Captain. If you are able, I would like that very much." Though he could not bring himself to smile, his gratitude was genuine.

“If you’re interested, I could even throw in a few words about how I’m doing,” Jim said, smile growing bigger.  “Just keep you updated on the larger events, if you like.  Even send a few pictures.”  He scooped up a bit of Khan’s discarded dinner and surveyed it suspiciously, before putting it down again.  “Better not.”

"Yes, Captain." His lip twitched in an attempt to show something other than sadness, but instead he just sat back in his chair with a sigh. "I will miss you. As annoying and confrontational as you are." He mentioned, feeling it should be said out loud at least once. "Your strange behaviour, and good nature. I do hope to hear from you."

“I’m annoying?  What about you?  Are you going to claim to be all sunshine and light, cause that might lead to fisticuffs,” Jim said indignantly, but then his grin returned.  “And you need a little confrontation of this kind in your life.  You got too used to everyone agreeing with you all the time and looking to you for all the answers.  Sometimes, you need that disagreement, the challenge.  Not Marcus, mind you.  That was not at all what I meant, so don’t go there.”  He finished his milk and licked clean his white mustache.

"I do not claim to be any such thing, Captain. I know what I am." Finally Khan managed a slight attempt at a smile, though it was short lived. "I used to know what I was." He amended. "This entire journey has tested me in ways I was not designed for. So I apologize for my mood, Captain. Some days I still find all of this very difficult."

“Well, for the record, I’ll miss you, too,” Jim said with a little shake of his head.  “You try my patience, scare the crap out of me, make my heart beat faster and generally test my very notion of self, but I’ve gotten kind of used to you, too.”

Dropping his hands into his lap, Khan then pressed his palms against his knees, keeping himself square in the chair. "I understand what you mean." He smirked knowingly, the feeling was mutual. "However, I am surprised to hear that I scare you, Captain. You never let it on." He said, meaning it as a compliment.

“I learned not to show my fear early on.  It’s a good survival skill,” Jim said with a grin.  “And I wasn’t going to give you the satisfaction.”  He looked away for a second, frowning, and then turned back to Khan.  “You made me cry though.  You managed that.”

Khan had nodded, showing he understood how Kirk would have come to develop such a skill. Though at the additional comment, Khan visibly flinched. His eyes turned downcast and his face was strained with pain. "I am sorry, Captain." He took it very hard to hear that he had hurt Kirk in such a way that had made him cry. He was family and hurting him was a very poor reflection on him as leader. Even though he was not Kirk's leader, it was still an uncomfortable feeling.

Jim looked at him for a long moment and then slowly smiled at him.  “I believe you ... and for that, I forgive you.  I’ll always miss Admiral Pike, but I know, if he knew what all had happened, he would have agreed with this course of action.  Helping you and your family.  And he would have stopped Admiral Marcus, if he had known.”  He knew that for certain, with all the love he had for the man who’d been his only father.

"And if I had known," Khan sighed very deeply, "that some of you could have been trusted ... things might have turned out differently." Might have. No guarantee of course. But having an ally, having someone confront Marcus to say that what he was doing was wrong, would have gone a long way in Khan's eyes. "I am sorry I did not get to meet the man that inspired you to be the good person you are, Captain. I am sorry I took him from you."

“When he met me, I was lost,” Jim admitted.  “I had no plans, no future, just an aimless existence, getting myself into trouble and falling in and out of jail.  Admiral Pike, he was a Captain then, challenged me to make something of myself, to do better.  And I never have been good at backing down from a challenge.”  He smiled with the same hint of sadness.  “He was my champion at Starfleet Command, and I’ve needed a champion a few times.  If any good can be said to have come out of this clusterfuck with Marcus, it’s that more of Command knows me now and a lot of the worst have been swept clean.”

Rubbing his hands together in his lap, Khan kept his eyes down as he listened to Kirk tell his story. He had nothing in his own life to compare it to, but he still understood that something great had been lost with Admiral Pike's death. He was not accustomed to regret. "May we speak about something else, Captain." He said abruptly, glancing to Kirk uncomfortably; the thin skin and grey circles under his eyes were looking all the more pronounced; he looked ill.

Jim looked alarmed and then scooted over to Khan’s side, hovering uncertainly for a moment, before he reached out and gave the other man a hug.  “I’m sorry.  It was a dick move to bring that up.”

Khan knew that Pike was important to Kirk, and probably wanted to talk to someone about it; but Khan was finding the accompanying guilt difficult to process. "Thank you." He said quietly, eyes closed and forehead pressed flat against Kirk's shoulder. He made no attempt to hug the other man back, feeling that would be unwelcome.  For now though, it was enough that he could accept this kind gesture without a fight.

Khan wasn’t holding him back, but the way he had slumped against his shoulder made Jim tighten his grip a little.  One hand even reached up to pet Khan’s hair gently, trying to soothe him.  “Everybody needs someone who can give them hugs,” he said, trying to make his voice lighter.

"I should not need it." Khan mentioned, but could not bring himself to pull away. Nor did he try to nuzzle, to scent Kirk or mark him, even though he could still smell others on his skin. Khan expressed no jealousy or dominance over Kirk. Instead, he was surrendering to the other man, to his touch, to his words, trusting him entirely with his care.

“Everybody needs a friend sometimes,” Jim said, another thing he had learned the hard way.  “I promise not to tell anyway.”  He moved one hand long enough to make a cross over his heart, before returning it to stroke Khan’s hair.  “You’ve been a good ear for me, Khan, even though it’s not really easy for either of us.  I’ve told you things almost nobody else knows.”

Khan allowed the embrace for a minute longer before he sighed and finally drew his head up to speak to Kirk face to face. "I would think your friend, Doctor McCoy knows everything about you." He said gently, "Or even Commander Spock- at least, everything factual." Believing the Vulcan knew everything that could, or had been documented about his Captain's life.

“Bones is my bestie,” Jim said, loosening his hold, but not letting go of Khan.  “He was the one I told about Tarsus IV first, mostly so he understood my peculiarities about food when he became my roommate. But also because I needed a friend to tell.”  His expression hardened, eyes becoming icy, though not directed at Khan.  “So he would understand that someday, I’m going to find a way to find Governor Kodos and bring him to justice.  For myself, if not for everyone who died.”

This news triggered something new in Khan. The sadness and feeling of being powerless left him as he stared back at Kirk, expression hardening to mirror his own. "Justice has not been done?" Khan clearly had expected this to be an issue long since taken care of. He was very displeased to hear that it had not.

“Kodos was clever, I’ll give him that,” Jim said quietly.  “He managed to escape a few days before Starfleet arrived on a private shuttle.”  He blew out a harsh breath and added, “It helped him that things were so horrible and in such confusion that it took awhile to straighten it out and determine who had even survived.”  He shivered a little, now wanting a hug himself, and took a chance, tightening his hold again.  Khan wasn’t exactly a comfortable hug, being all lean muscle and bone, but he was strong and solid.

Khan could not offer comforts in the usual sense, but he had his own to offer. Drawing himself up in his chair, Khan wrapped his arms around Kirk, collecting him into his arms, embracing him like a brother, prepared to protect him. This was the sort of comfort Khan knew to give. He would personally fight every battle to see those he cared about taken care of. And that included James Kirk. "And there is no information as to his whereabouts?" He asked firmly.

“Not for years,” Jim said.  “The Alpha Quadrant is an awfully large place to disappear in, and there are a lot of planets that are unfriendly or unknown to Starfleet.  He could be anywhere.  But someday, with Starfleet’s blessing, I’m going to find him.  Even if all I find is the end of him.”

"I am certain you will." Khan purred darkly, his hand coming up to cup the back of Kirk's skull in a show of encouragement and support. His own heart rate had increased, beating hard and angry in his chest on Kirk's behalf. Though slowly his let his hand slip away and he sat back, not forcing himself on the other man.

Jim interpreted Khan’s moves as a non-verbal request for distance and disentangled himself from the other man with a slightly sheepish grin.  “I feel like dessert.  I think I can sneak some now.”

The readiness to fight Kirk's battles, to vanquish his demons was still present, but he pushed it down and gave a slight nod as the man suggested they go back for dessert. His lips turned up at the corners with some amusement that Kirk would play with his dinner like a child only to go back for dessert with full hunger. "It is your ship, Captain. I am certain that you do not need to sneak it."

Jim made a noise of disbelief and said, “The only person on the ship who can countermand me without making a huge issue of it is the Chief Medical Officer.”  He looked at Khan for understanding of what that meant.

Though he understood the word, he did not understand why it was so. Khan tilted his head to the side and gave a slight nod for Kirk to explain. "What gives him that right?" Was it because they were best friends? Was that how it worked? Or was this something else?

“CMO’s have to look after the health of the entire crew, including the captain, and they can, for medical reasons, override a captain’s authority and specific decisions.  Also, Bones is my friend, so he’s even fiercer about being my protector.”  Jim rose, carrying his mostly full dishes to the recycler.  “I hear chef has some flan sequestered away.”

"I see." Khan said, standing as well to dispose of his neglected meal. "We have nothing like that." He said as he took up pace just behind Kirk. "Joaquin is my second, and would only override my authority- overthrow me, if he felt it was the best for our people."

“Yeah, there are provisions for that in Starfleet protocols, too,” Jim said, “though overthrow is not the right word.”  He waved at the Security personnel, as they picked them up outside the door again.  “But say I became sick and was unable to make appropriate judgement calls, such as knowing I was too sick to continue leading, the CMO can remove me from command.  But only until I’m deemed well enough to return.”

"I see." Khan said again. In his case, sickness was not an issue to prevent him from doing his job. But he understood how it could be an important fact for Starfleet personnel, especially those who were perhaps under the influence of an alien drug or illness.

Jim bumped into him again and said, “Liar.”  He knew the augment would not know about being sick, at least not naturally.  He had wondered what terrible experiments might have been conducted on the augments to test their immune systems.  “But it is necessary for us mere mortals.”

As they returned to the staff lounge, the food selections had thinned out, as had the crew present. Those who were on a shift break were returning to their tasks, while those who were off duty now had left to sleep in their cabins or spend their time engaged in hobbies and games with one another.

"Captain." Khan said, standing by the dessert table, but not selecting anything until Kirk did. "Should this next planet prove to be a worthwhile settlement ... I have a request to make, if you are willing." He said, hands folded politely behind his back.

Jim looked over at him and smiled, saying, “I’m always willing to listen to a request, Khan.  What is it?”  He frowned at the dessert selections, before finding the flan that chef had indeed hidden away for him.  Grinning, he pulled it out triumphantly.

"I have begun a project in the biology lab- that if I am not able to finish, I am hoping you might complete." Khan selected an individually sized fruit torte for himself. "It is a gift, for Commander Spock." Though Vulcans probably saw little point in giving or receiving gifts, Khan wanted to present him with something meaningful to show his respect and thank him for approving or otherwise overseeing the many projects he was allowed to undertake while on the Enterprise.

“A gift for Spock?” Jim asked.  “You think I can finish it for you?  I’d be happy to try, at least.  That’s the kind of gift he’ll appreciate.”  He was a little disappointed, however, that Khan’s request was not about visiting, or at least keeping in touch.   

"I have engineered a kal'ta plant for New Vulcan." Khan explained, having put a lot of work into it. "Though it is not pure, as those native to Vulcan- the genetically altered plant should prove well adaptable. Suitable to be grown in artificial biomes as such on space stations, or introduced to the planet as a new subspecies, if Commander Spock so wishes." Though the violet and blue leaves might still prove pleasing to the eye, it was very possible that the 'unnatural' plant would be unwelcome on New Vulcan; but that fate would be entirely for Spock to decide upon. "It is in a delicate stage of its growth at this time, and would need daily care for another twenty days before it should prove able to thrive independently. Again, if you are willing."

“Oh, you want the plant to die,” Jim said and then laughed softly.  “Major brown thumb here, I’m afraid.  But I’ll get Sulu to watch after it and then the plant will grow amazingly.  I swear, he’s a plant whisperer.  He walks by them and they all perk up and get happy.”  He paused and his face softened, as he regarded Khan.  “That was really thoughtful of you.  I think Spock will be very pleased, even if he never shows it.”

"Oh." Khan was uncertain about the fate of the plant to hear that Kirk was horrible with such things. But when Kirk offered to have Sulu care of it instead, Khan felt reasonably assured. Assuming Sulu would be ordered to care for the plant, it would likely survive long enough. "After the twenty days, if you could then see that Commander Spock receives it then?" Since Kirk had no wish to care for it, then at least he could see that it was given to the intended recipient.

“With your sincere compliments and best wishes,” Jim assured him with a grin.  “I may have to pry it away from Sulu.  He loves plants, and I’m sure he’ll covet a new creation, especially one of an otherwise extinct species.  Hey, you should write Spock a little thank you to go along with the plant.  That’s always nice.”

Khan nodded, his face hard and serious, not taking the topic lightly. "I have been considering it." Not just for Spock, but also for others of the crew that had proved civil with him. From Chef Ishi, to several of the nurses, engineers and scientists, Khan was slowly formulating a few humbling words of thanks. "Thank you, Captain."

Jim made a face and said, “That was terrible.  Put a little more life into it.”  He grinned to show he was joking and lightly bumped their shoulders again.  “Don’t have to thank me, Khan.”

Khan just frowned to himself. He felt he was doing the right thing, trying to make connections with Kirk's crew, to show gratitude for their kindness, or at the very least, their tolerance. He was putting in a great deal of effort into it, so he did not understand Kirk's joke. "I do have to thank you, Captain. You are not obliged to indulge me, for any of this. But you do."

“I just hope we can find your people a nice planet to settle on,” Jim said with a happy sigh, taking a seat in the back, away from the remaining people and lingering Security team.  “Give me your thanks then, Khan, for a job well done.  Until then, I’m happy to ‘indulge’ you, as you call it.  As hard as it is sometimes, you make me a better person, I think.  And a better Captain.”

Khan managed a small smile at this comment. Kirk was indeed a different Captain then from the one he had first met on Kronos, one who beat his prisoner. Khan too had changed, showing his more human side while under Kirk's care, however he was not yet in a position where he could thank the young Captain for his influence. "Entirely by accident, I assure you." He said with a little smile, eating several of the fruits off his torte, then the custard separately.

Jim snorted and said, “Well, I’m grateful just the same ... jackass.”  He tried not to gobble down his flan, forcing himself to eat the custard at a reasonable rate.  It made his hand a little wobbly sometimes, but he was used to forcing himself to eat normally at diplomatic events.  “It is nice to have company to eat with.”

"You have an entire ship’s crew to choose from, Captain. You are not hurting for choices, or company." Khan said, pulling his eyes off his plate to smile at Kirk across the small table. "But I am happy to join you, for any meal." He briefly wondered if Kirk sometimes grabbed a passing crewmen to join him in the lounge whenever he had the craving for a snack, just so that he was not eating alone. Outwardly it would make him look sociable, but it seemed like a very real problem, albeit hypothetical.

“And every person is different, and I want to meet as many as I can,” Jim said, “especially since not everyone will make it back.”  His smile dimmed a little, as he thought of those he’d lost.  “A captain should know his people, as much as he can.”  He shook himself mentally and smiled back at Khan.  “But your company is still appreciated, Khan.  Amongst other things, I can talk to you about subjects I cannot even whisper to most of my crew.”

Khan of course felt it was obvious that a captain should know each and every one of his people. But it was perhaps just the nature of Starfleet structure that made that personal connection uncommon. Though he did nod as Kirk acknowledged that not everyone would survive the trip. At least he was realistic in this view to know that some people would be lost over time. Khan had not allowed for this in his own mind, which had proved quite an abrasive shock when he had lost some of his people.

"Really?" Khan smiled a little, curious, "I am surprised to hear that there are things you feel uncomfortable speaking with your crew about. You are very friendly and forward with them."

“Tarsus.  Kodos. My family.  Even the death of Admiral Pike,” Jim said.  “I told you about all of them without hesitation.  And I only regret that I hurt you ... about Pike.  I’ll probably even tell you about being the son of George Kirk, if we have enough time.  You’re willing to listen, and you don’t judge.  All of the things everyone assumes they know about me ... you don’t.  It’s refreshing.  And crazy.”  

Khan considered, then nodded, seeing the value in keeping some secrets, when being in the position Kirk was in. Still, he was surprised some things were not common knowledge, but glad for Jim nevertheless that he could keep some things private. Khan had never experienced much privacy in his life; the screen in his cell was probably the first thing, really, which was likely why he used it so much. But Kirk was right, Khan made no assumptions. He took people as they were, with their actions, with their words, keeping only the facts in mind. "Of course, Captain." He said gently, "Anytime."

Jim nodded and said, “I’m afraid our time is nearly up for now.  I’ll be pretty swamped tomorrow, but will make some time the day after.  Thank you, by the way.”

"Understood." Khan said. He still found it a relief that Kirk spent any time with him at all. He wasn't as independent as he liked to think of himself, he still needed some connections, some contact; thankfully Kirk had recognized his need on some level, not only giving Khan his time, but also touch. The hug was not something Khan would soon forget.

There was still something there, between the two powerful men. Something that just couldn't be severed, no matter how many times they fought or messed things up; sometimes by accident, other times intentionally. It wouldn't go away. And Khan was getting to the point where he didn't want it to go away, even though logically he knew this would all end.

Still, that evening when he was meant to sleep, Khan laid on his side, thoughts still on the young Captain. Khan pressed his hand against the back of his own neck, attempting to recreate the touch Kirk had provided him earlier. He spent much of the night like this, until he finally fell asleep, half convincing his brain that Kirk was there with him, that it was safe to sleep, that the Captain would look out for him. It was a subtle shift in his thinking, but an important one. Khan had previously trusted Kirk with his people, but now saw that he could trust him with himself, as well.

 


	9. In Sickness...

Jim liked this new planet and all its particulars, thinking it a lovely spot for Khan to settle with all of his family.  Yes, all of them, the Starship carrying the rest of the cryotubes had quietly rendezvoused with the Enterprise a day or so before.  He was relieved never to have to tell Khan about that particular precaution, even if they still carried the deep freeze.

There was something sad in the notion that Khan would soon leave the Enterprise to start a new life, but Jim felt more happiness in the potential outcome than regret.  The valley they’d selected as the most ideal teemed with plants and small animals, rich soils and just about perfect weather.  He felt like suggesting that Khan name the place Paradiso, but that seemed like tempting fate.

As they walked along the small valley together, the Away Team taking some final readings at the end of their five days exploring and cataloging, Jim couldn't help but be slightly relieved to be heading back to his soft bed and regular routine.  He was a bit worn from not sleeping as well as he might, achy from the ground and not his mattress.

“This place is lovely,” he said to Khan softly, stopping at the top of a small rise and looking to the view.

Several times Khan had stopped to literally roll in the grass, stretching out his back and getting a sense of the soil and the sky overhead, finding the rotation of the planet very similar to Earth, very easy to adapt to. The days would last 30 hours instead of the standard 24, but that was easy enough for an augment to adjust to, not needing as much sleep as a normal human.

"I agree." Khan said, quite taken with every aspect of the planet. He had been a slow companion this afternoon, touching and taking samples of nearly every plant they encountered. Currently his hand was brushing against soft, feather like fern leaves which he would pet, then rub between his fingers and smell, before letting his hands find something new to touch and experience. "It is very lush- there is much life here ... it would not go unappreciated."

Jim had watched Khan cavort around the planet with a smile, sometimes joining him, using the excuse to play and just get dirty.  In a non-sexual way.  (Although Jim had to admit that he was feeling the tug toward the other man.  He wondered, if this was to be Khan’s planet, if the older man might allow him one night.  He wanted it, too.)  

“This would be a hard place not to appreciate,” Jim said, turning in a circle and admiring the view from all directions.  “I’m a little envious myself, right this moment.  Send pictures?”  He looked over at the augment and added, “Let me know how you’re doing, too?”

Stepping away from the large ferns he had been playing with, Khan joined Kirk near the edge of a slight drop off that overlooked part of the valley. He hummed, clearly approving of the view, but also contemplative of what Kirk was asking for. "Intend on creating a scrapbook to mark the progress of the colony, as it evolves into an empire?" He smiled and rolled his head to the side, looking to Kirk. He was joking, or at least, he was trying to.

"Until we have a satellite in orbit, my messages may reflect a certain ... primitive ... transmission delay." By the time the message or photos got to the Enterprise, especially the further it flew away, the older the messages would be. "But I would be happy to keep in touch with you, Captain. For as long as the correspondence is welcome. I only hope that you might take the time to respond as well."

“I said I-” Jim cut himself off, as his head spun suddenly, the vertigo terrible.  He kept his feet by force of will hand coming up to press between his eyes instinctively.  Fortunately, in a moment, it had passed.  

“Fuck, what was that?” he asked.  “I didn’t move suddenly or anything.”  He blinked a few times and then smiled apologetically at Khan.  “Human imperfections on display there.  What were we saying?  Oh yeah, I’ll keep you appraised of myself and the girl, along with any relevant news that might come along.  Of course, for a few years, you’ll mostly get information on our travels.”

Khan watched as Kirk seemed to fight off a sudden headache or fit of dizziness. And while he remained close on hand, he gave the man his space. His worry shifted away slightly as Kirk mentioned being in contact with him for years to come, he smiled a little then. "Yes Captain, I would like that very much." He said fondly, "You can tell me about the new cultures you encounter, and the planets I could have made my home instead." Khan paused slightly, frowning again as he pressed several fingers against the side of his head and rubbed firmly, leaning into his own touch. "It's not just you." He said then looked over the ridge, searching for a clue to what could suddenly be effecting them. There was nothing in sight, so Khan resorted to using the Starfleet tech, scanning the area for gaseous venting or anything else in the air.

“You just felt the same?” Jim asked, worried, knowing little affected the augment.  He flipped open his communicator and asked for Spock to sweep the areas with the Enterprise’s sensors, seeing if there was anything they could pick up.  The resulting nothing worried him more than finding something would have.

“Khan, we best get out of this area,” he said.  He turned and managed two strides forward, when the world spun so violently around him that he lost his footing, crashing to hands and knees, and barely kept his lunch.  “Fuck.”

"Captain." Khan pressed a firm hand against the center of his back, letting Kirk know that he was there and willing to help. "Take a moment. Take a breath. You're alright." Khan did the same, though exhaled a strained, uncomfortable sigh. "Keep your eyes closed if it helps and I will lead you back down to camp."

“I’m not all right,” Jim said, voice tight, as he gritted his teeth to keep the bile down.  “My head’s going round like the world is on an old-fashioned merry-go-round.  I’m going to start throwing up in a minute.  Get away from me and call Dr. McCoy.  That’s an order.”  He gagged, harsh and sharp, before easing his head down to rest his forehead on the dirt, taking deep, fortifying breaths.

Telling Kirk he was alright had been a white lie in order to be comforting, but it had not been well received. So instead Khan kept one hand on the center of his back while reliving Kirk of his communicator. He had never been giving a direct order before, but now was not the time to think on it. Instead, Khan opened a line to the Enterprise. "This is Khan speaking, with Captain Kirk, to the Enterprise." He waited a moment before continuing. "I wish to relay medical concerns to Doctor McCoy. The Captain is expressing signs of nausea, vertigo and desire to vomit. Please advise."

“Dr. McCoy here,” Bones answered and listened to the description with concern, swearing softly under his breath.  “Khan, I need you to use the Captain’s tricorder to scan him.  It’s not as good as a medical tricorder, but it will have to do.  I’ll also contact Lieutenant Miller, who is the acting medic on the Away Team, and send her your way.  For now, will you please remain with Captain Kirk?”

“I ordered him away from me,” Jim said, sounding miserable.  “Fuck, I’m going to-”  He turned his head away from Khan and threw up in horrible, body shaking tremors.  He hated looking weak in front of the augment, though the pure sensation of being sick swept away most else.

Even as he caught the sour smell bile and vomit, Khan expressed no disgust as he remained by Kirk's side. Using the tricorder, Khan adjusted a few of the settings so that it would be useful in reading human anatomy rather then geological findings. "Heart rate is increasing. Core body temperature is rising." Khan announced as he maneuvered through the display of information. He watched as Kirk suffered through the initial convulsing his body went through in order to expel whatever illness it was that his system was trying to be rid of. "For the record." He added, after he was certain Kirk had caught his breath for the moment, "I am experiencing muscle fatigue and a severe headache that is uncommon to my genetic disposition."

“I’m linking your tricorder to the Enterprise’s computers,” Bones said, “so I can see the readings.”  He swore as another line beeped to indicate someone else was contacting him.  “One moment, Mr. Singh.”

Jim stirred weakly, trying to get away from the foul odor and site of his vomiting.  But the instant he tried to move an inch, the world spun so violently that he began to helplessly gag and choke again.  “Fuck. Khan, will you- can you pull me away a little?  If you feel up to it?”

Setting aside the communicator and tricorder, Khan moved behind Kirk so he could use both hands. "I can, and will, Captain." Khan said, not letting something like fatigue stop him. "I am going to grab you around your middle." He announced, so that Kirk was aware of what he was doing, "If you feel the need to be sick again, don't hold it in. It is more important that you let it out then risk choking on it." Khan then reached around Kirk with both arms, one hand flat and high against his chest, the other low, near his pelvic bone, being careful not to put any further pressure on the stomach itself. Like this, a human crane, Khan lifted Kirk up just enough from the ground and moved him a few feet away. "Can you hold yourself up on all fours?" He asked, hands still in place as he continued to support his weight after the move.

Jim gagged again, eyes squeezed shut tight, but was deeply relieved that he managed not to hurl on Khan.  “No, I need to lie down to keep my head from being too bad.  I can’t move it at all without losing my stomach.  I haven’t felt this bad in a long time.”  He took another shaky breath.  “Thank you.  I know I’m not exactly pleasant right now, sick and shaking.  How are you feeling?”

“Captain.  Mr. Singh,” Bones distressed voice cut into the conversation.  “Lieutenant Miller just reported that other members of the Away Team are starting to show similar symptoms to both of yours ... and not just in humans.  I will be sending down a full medical team in isolation suits.  You two stay where you are.  Mr. Singh, please continue to monitor both of your conditions.  You are one of the few Away Team members who is not incapacitated by whatever this is.  Jim, I’ll be down there soon.”  His voice warmed for his best friend, before the comm ended.

“Good thing you’re better, huh?” Jim said weakly.

Khan helped to ease Kirk onto his side, moving him as easily as a rag doll, placing one arm under his head to keep his face out of the dirt, then the other close to his chest. Once Kirk was laid out like this, Khan moved to sit behind him on his knees. "If you need to be sick again, give me warning and I'll help raise your torso and head." He said, keeping a hand on his back, prepared to move into action as soon as he was needed.

Taking a breath, Khan pushed through his headache in order to talk through what was happening to them. "If it had just been us, I would have said that we encountered a plant or terrestrial gas that had effected us both, however, since other members of the away team are showing symptoms, it is reasonable to believe we have all been exposed to a virus. In which case-" Khan took another deep breath, letting his focus dim slightly so that all the sounding color of plants and landscape were dulled down, narrowing his attention to Kirk only. "The virus would have a longer incubation period in my system, until my body is able to produce it's own antivirus."

Jim snorted and said, “If I wasn’t so goddamn dizzy and nauseous, I’d feel like an idiot.”  His eyes remained tightly closed.  “You didn’t do what I ordered, by the way.  Don’t think I didn’t notice.”  He did not like the idea of all the Away Team being infected with a virus, something that hadn’t shown up in all their scans.  His stomach clenched even tighter at the idea of any of his crew being in danger.  “Khan, can you see the rest of the Away Team?”

"Why?" Khan asked, rubbing his hand over Kirk's shoulder, attempting to be soothing. "Are you too prideful to accept my help?" He snorted softly when Kirk mentioned how he had ignored being ordered. "Anyway, court-martial me." He said dryly, "Or take away my privileges, if that is what you really want. But I am not leaving you, Captain." Khan continued to keep his eyes on the man in his care, watching for signs that things might escalate. But as long as he was breathing, and even conscious enough to talk, all the better. "I cannot see any others from here, no. But if I stood near the ridge again I should be able to see down to the base camp."

“I was hoping you might escape what I have,” Jim said, wishing he could see the other man.  “If I was too prideful to accept help from other people, I’d be long, long dead.”  He huffed a pained laugh and then groaned.  “Fuck.” Two conflicting instincts warred inside him at the idea of sending Khan to look over his crew.  Finally, he said, “No, stay here.  We’ll do what Bones ordered.  He’s usually right, even though I’ll deny ever admitting it.”

There was the sound of materialization and said man appeared, decked out in full gear to prevent any bacteria, virus or potential other pathogen from spreading.  He headed over to the two men and knelt beside them.  “I can’t let you go anywhere,” he griped to Jim’s back, ignoring his own fears.  “And you-”  he looked up at Khan “-I thought your blood would help with this kind of thing.  Some superman you are.”

Khan withdrew his hand from Kirk as McCoy approached. However, his mood darkened at the comment that he was somehow imperfect, or that his blood was not good enough. He grumbled, then unable to hold his tongue, snapped back, "You were the one who synthesized my blood in the first place; which was apparently not good enough to cure him of something as simple as allergies, so how do you expect it to cure him of an alien virus? The error is yours, not mine." He growled, "Now-" he added, pulling his eyes off the doctor and back on Kirk, "What do you want me to do." He said, expressing his willingness to help, now that he had gotten what he needed off his chest.

“Gentlemen, please,” Jim begged, not wanting them to fight over his prone body.  “This isn’t anybody’s fault.”  He groaned again and added, “And I think I’m fine with being cured of death, Khan, Bones, so you both did a very good job.  Awesome, as far as I’m concerned.”

Bones glared at Khan and said, “We’ll talk more later, Mr. Singh.”  He turned his eyes to Jim and began to work, scanning his friend, before applying a hypospray to ease the vertigo.  

Jim gave a relieved sigh, as the spinning of his head lessened significantly.  He slowly eased himself off the ground and sat up to face his friend and doctor.  “Bones, what’s going on?”

Bones frowned and shook his head a little.  “Looks like a slow-acting virus,” he muttered.  “Attacking the nervous system.”  He prepared an anti-viral hypospray, one of the broad spectrum ones developed by Starfleet Medical and tailored by Dr. McCoy not to trigger Jim’s allergies.  “Give that a few minutes.”  He turned to Khan and began scanning him as well, before grabbing the normal hypospray.  “Your immune system is already at work, but this will help it along ... if you want it.”

McCoy and Khan had proven to be quite neutral towards one another previously; and while Kirk was certainly their common ground, each man seemed to be quite protective of him, in their own way. Khan however silently acknowledged that indeed, they probably would talk about this further. For now, Kirk and the others were the priority.

With a nod, Khan consented to the hypospray, allowing the injection without fuss. "How many of the others are showing symptoms?" Khan asked, knowing Kirk would want to know, even if his head was not entirely clear. "Is everyone accounted for?" These were not questions that a prisoner asked, but from a man who was a leader to his own people, and who was invested in the health and survival of Kirk's people as well.

“Everyone, except for Ensign Thelian is showing some signs of illness,” Bones said, referring to an Andorian science officer.  “I’ve got M’Benga with the largest group, but if you’re both feeling up to it, I want to move everyone together and set-up a base camp, just in case.”

“Better safe and all that,” Jim agreed, slowly climbing to his feet, where he swayed for a moment.  He reached toward Khan and then Bones, finally leaning on his best friend with an apologetic grin.  “Not all better yet.  You go ahead, Bones.  Mr. Singh can help me get back.  Right, Khan?”

"Captain." Khan nodded obediently, going to his side and crouched down a few inches, getting Kirk to hook an arm over his shoulder. Once Khan stood to his full height again, he had taken on half of Kirk's weight and helped to stabilize his steps forward. Slipping his hand against his back, Khan fisted a bit of Kirk's uniform to keep hold of him in case the other man suddenly lost muscle control or slipped unconscious as they descended back into the valley.

“Take care of him,” Bones told Khan with a stern look and then had himself beamed, however reluctantly, to another clump of the Away Team, currently being treated by the most junior nurse.

“Bones likes you,” Jim confided, even as he leaned against Khan.  “Or he wouldn't let me rely on your care.”  He took a step forward and breathed out a sigh as his head held for the moment.  ”I hope this is taken care of by the anti-viral.  Bones spent forever devising a way to let me take the damn thing.”

"Hm." Khan was not entirely convinced that McCoy cared much for him at all. At least however, he felt confident the man would not try to kill him, as that would prove contrary to his medical oath. After a few slow minutes, Khan spoke up, "I understand that because of the war, the human race is wary of any sort of eugenics program, however, I do not understand why simple things, like genetic diseases or other inherited traits and dispositions such as allergies have yet to be screened out. You have had the science for over three hundred years to engineer chromosomes ... and yet here you are, allergic to hyposprays. I do not understand." Khan said, clearly frustrated.

“Well, I am a unique case,” Jim said with a grunt of pain as he jarred his head on one step. “I was born in the middle of a space battle on a shuttle craft fleeing for its life through a sea of debris and high levels of unusual radiation.  Not so weird that my biology is a little bit fucked up.  As for the rest of it, well, slippery slope.  Who decides what gets screened out and what gets left?  Blindess?  Deafness?  Certain differences in height and weight and color?  The things that make us unique?  Where does it start and end?  Certain fatal genetic defects one can prevent, but not the rest.”

Apparently it started, and ended, with Khan and those like him. The scientists of his time had tried to solve too many problems all at once, all in one package. And because of that failing, any potential gain from any of it was locked down and forbidden. "I cannot say, Captain. I only feel, that it is knowledge, wasted." After a few more steps Khan paused, "It will be faster and more efficient if I carry you." He said, taking a break and standing in place until Kirk gave his consent or refused the suggestion.

Jim stopped and eased over to look at Khan, eyes soft and blue.  “Khan, it wasn’t wasted.  What we learned was that we like ourselves as we are.  Outside of fatal or crippling defects, we like being imperfect.  Sure, I could do without the allergies; they’re annoying and sometimes try to kill me ... no, wait, bad argument.  Besides, that still has to do with all the radiation stuff.  I know someone who’s blind, and he wears a special device to allow him to see, and because of it, he sees better than anyone.  He doesn’t want to be sighted.  He’s happy the way he is.  No genetic imperfections fix needed.  Yeah?”

Khan listened to Kirk without argument. But considering the way his brain was wired on the moral issue, it still triggered other concerns. Humanity had come to define itself by its differences, and imperfections. But that left Khan and his people in an awkward position, considering that they were meant to be the idealized human. But humans had flaws, natural ones; and there was nothing natural left to Khan and those like him. It would mean coming to terms with a new identity; that they were not human, that they were something ... other, that in time they would have to give name to. Khan swallowed uncomfortably, processing this without comment. Perhaps they were Augments, a term Khan previously found distasteful. Maybe Kirk was right in calling him that, maybe they were too much of a lab creation to be human. "Yes, Captain. I understand." He said finally, still keeping a tight hold on Kirk and meeting his gaze.

Jim noted what might be a hint of pain deep in those fathomless eyes and said, “Hey, Noonien, want to know something?  Everybody’s flawed, no matter where they came from.  You, too.  That’s what else we learned.  We can’t make perfection cause we ourselves aren’t perfect.”  He shut his eyes against a new wave of dizziness.  “Fuck, okay, you better carry me.  Just keep me tilted a little away from you, in case I lose my cookies again.”

Bending down slightly, Khan hooked his free arm under the back of Kirk's knees and picked him up with ease. He took a moment to adjust his hold and gave the other man a little smile. Khan's flaw, his weakness, had always been his love for his people. Instead of having singular vision for only his own survival and success, he had built a family and forged bonds with others of his kind instead of fighting them. It was a strange sort of comfort to think of his flaw in his engineering as a good thing, as something human. He appreciated the Captain's words, and expressed this by briefly nuzzling his face into the side of Kirk's head. It was not meant sexually, or possessively, but as a gentle thank you. Then taking a deep breath, Khan turned his eyes forward and headed down, with Kirk in his arms. "Tell me if you need a break."

“Are you sure you feel well enough to carry me without any problems?” Jim asked, not wanting to tax Khan either.  He had turned his face into the nuzzle, grateful for the show of affection Khan was still willing to give him.  It was friendly, too, not that Jim would object to a little more, if he thought they could do it right.  He settled into Khan’s arms more comfortably and leaned against him, head turned away only in case of sickness.

"I can manage." And he did, heading down into the valley at an easy pace, giving no sign of discomfort. Being sore and fatigued was a strange and unwanted experience, so it was ignored. Khan worked through it without complaint, holding the young captain in his arms, determined to see him safely reunited with his crew back at base camp.

In time, the temporary shelters came into sight, as did the medical crew currently attending to the needs of the away team. Instead of stopping to give Kirk the chance to walk the remainder of the way in front of his crew, Khan continued to carry him, right up to the shelter Kirk had been using the last few nights. Delivering him directly to his cot, Khan carefully laid him out, supporting his weight and the back of his head with extreme care.

Jim smiled at him and said, “Thank you, Khan.  The vertigo is still pretty intense.  How are you feeling?”  He wanted to know about his crew and that began with Khan.  If the augment was unwell, he needed to find out now and make sure the stubborn man took care of himself.  He had not minded being carried into the camp, especially as he could see all of his crew being treated by busy medical personnel in the isolation suits.  And not everyone was here yet.

"I may require a full six hours sleep, but otherwise I am not as affected. As I mentioned, the virus will likely remain dormant in my system longer." Though that potentially could also mean it would hit him hard, if it had time to evolve while his body constructed an antidote; either way, for the time being he was not focused on himself. Nosing his way through the shelter, Khan found a bottle of water and an empty container meant for collecting samples. "Here." He offered the water to Kirk, "I do not recommend drinking, but you may wish to rinse out your mouth." He said, then offering the empty container for him to spit into after the fact.

“Yeah, thanks” Jim said and washed out his mouth with a few swishes of water.  “Ugh, that was awful.”  He made a gesture to the other cot, where Khan had been sleeping.  “Lie down and get some rest then.  Want to make sure you’ll be all right.  Bones will come in when he’s ready.”

"My condition remains acceptable." Khan took the container with soiled water and dumped it outside. He then left it beside the cot Kirk was laying on, so that he could use it again. Standing there, Khan considered his position; he was still well enough that he could be useful and help the medical team, but he also did not want to leave the Captain unattended. But since he was asked to stay, he would stay. Khan moved his cot at a new angle so that when he laid down on his side, he could see Kirk from the other side of the small shelter. "Let me know if you begin to experience new, or more severe symptoms."

“Acceptable,” Jim said with a little snort and then a groan.  He cracked open his eyes and looked across the tent at Khan.  “That doesn’t tell me anything, Khan.  Are you still feeling the affects of the virus?”  His eyes fell shut again, as he considered the possibility of new and improved symptoms.  “Don’t remind me that this could get worse.  It always gets worse where I’m concerned.”

"Yes, I am." Khan admitted reluctantly. "My headache remains and my body is sore." But it was tolerable and had not escalated further, so he had not seen any reason to mention it, except that Kirk had pressed for more of an answer. "I want to close my eyes, but I am not tired. And I am finding it difficult to get comfortable, nothing feels right." He said, changing between having his legs stretched out, or drawn up and bent, or his arm at his side, or wedged under his head. "Have you felt any improvement after the doctor gave you the hypospray?"

“Yes, thank fuck,” Jim said.  “Or else I’d still be trying to hack up my guts.”  He frowned a little bit and said, “I’m worried that you’re still feeling ill.  You don’t often experience these kinds of symptoms, do you?  Or is it common, but you ignore it or your immune system fights things off quickly?”

Khan was glad that Kirk was feeling a little better, that at least his body was not under the stress of trying to constantly vomit. Though he found it curious that Kirk was worried for him, and tilted his head a little, smiling slightly at him across the room. "I do not generally experience illness organically." He attempted to explain. "If you like, consider my cells as a database, in which I have been both exposed and imprinted with a corresponding antivirus of every known human disease, up until the 20th century. From the flu to something much more severe, by body is already programmed to handle it. However-" he added calmly, "that said, being exposed to illness that are post-20th century, and therefore new to my system take time to adjust to, and depending upon the severity of it, longer to construct immunity."

“So, being sick is something that started happening after you were woken up by Marcus,” Jim said, trying to take that in.  “Did it worry you, the first time something made you sick?”  He shuffled a little on the bed, trying to get more comfortable.  His body, too, had begun to ache, the way it did after a hard night of drinking way too much.  “Crap, I think I’ve got something new…”

"Yes." Khan had answered, everything had started with Admiral Marcus. But he did not bother to explain further when Kirk began to admit to experiencing another symptom. Sitting up, Khan kept his hands on the edge of his cot, watchful of Kirk before prompting him to elaborate. "What are you feeling? Would you like me to get Doctor McCoy or another member of his medical staff?"

“No, don’t get him yet,” Jim said softly.  “Let him take care of everyone else.  It’s not bad yet, just new.  Well, new for this particular experience.”  He’d certainly felt like he’d been run over by a speeding shuttlecraft before.  “Please, let’s keep talking.”  It was a good way to be distracted from feeling unwell.  “I haven’t had a chance to hear you play your newest instrument yet.”

Since Kirk was not yet interested in medical attention, Khan remained seated. Though felt if his condition worsened visibly, consent or not, Khan would fetch the senior medical officer. For now, Khan leaned his elbows against his knees, keeping his eyes on the Captain as he spoke. "I was working on a piano piece with lieutenant Cole last week, but he has been unavailable recently, so our lessons have been put on pause. However, I have begun to watch recordings of musicians playing the Romulan flute, which may be worth attempting."

“Overachiever,” Jim teased softly and then grit his teeth a moment.  “Is there somebody aboard who could teach you the Romulan flute?”  He racked his brain for who on the crew might play that unusual instrument.  Knowledge of Romulan culture was not widespread. “Oh, Selok.  She knows a lot about her cousins.”  He referred to one of the first Vulcans to graduate from the Starfleet Academy since the destruction of their homeworld.  A large group had enrolled, now that the Vulcan Science Academy was gone.

"I may approach her, if that is acceptable." Khan mentioned. He did not expect her to know how to play herself, but even if she were willing to talk over how the flute was meant to be handled properly, anything theoretical would be helpful. Khan however stood and took a few strides across the room, turning on the tricorder once more, giving Kirk another quick scan in order to satisfy his own worries about the man.

Jim felt the other man move across the tent and then loom over him, so he opened his eyes and squinted up at him.  “You’re as bad as Bones,” he said with no real scold in his voice.  His eyes drifted shut again, as he felt ridiculously tired.  “You don’t need my permission every time you want to talk to one of the crew, Khan.  I already told you that.”

"I rather have your permission, then not." Khan said. Though with some things it was clear he still felt comfortable taking liberties, such as now, as he unfolded a spare blanket and draped it over the man in his care. He was worried about the man, and could no longer be satisfied by watching from across the room. So he knelt beside the cot, holding the tricorder in his lap as he flagged a few fluctuations in his temperature, among other small irregularities that might mean nothing, but could also prove useful in the long run, depending on how long this lasted. "May I stay here?" He asked quietly, his hand coming to rest on Kirk's wrist.

Jim moved his other hand and placed it over Khan’s with a low sigh.  “Yeah, all right.  I guess this means I look pretty bad, huh?”  He smiled a little.  “Good thing you didn’t see me when I was getting into bar fights all the time.  Don’t think I went more than a day or two without a ton of cuts and bruises.  Little longer without broken bones, but my ribs spent a lot of time cracked.  If I’d had you or Bones, I’d never have gotten away with that crap.”  He frowned a little and added, “That seems like a million years ago now.”

"I cannot speak for Doctor McCoy, but I certainly would not have allowed you to fight alone." He smiled a little, "After the fact I might have scolded you for getting yourself into such a situation, but I would not have left you to stand your ground alone." Khan however was glad that Kirk let him stay, as his shoulders relaxed slightly and he leaned sideways into the cot, head resting on his own shoulder as he remained by his side.

“Bones wouldn’t have let me act like such an idiot,” Jim said, “and I doubt you would have either.”  He felt Khan settle nearby and forced open his eyes again to look at him.  “Hey, get over here and put your head on the cot.  That’ll be more comfortable.  Especially since you’re not feeling well.  Pamper me, but don’t take care of yourself.  That’s not cool.”

Khan grumbled softly, but did not want this to escalate into a fight like last time. He felt he could not get any closer, unless Kirk wanted to share his bed with him, which he felt was not what he meant. So he stood and dragged his own cot over so that the two were lined up side by side. Laying down like this, Khan could still keep a close eye on the other man, and even reached across the small space between them to hold the back of his hand once more.

“Mmm, good idea,” Jim said and relaxed more into his cot, now that he knew Khan was taking care of himself as well.  “I think I’m a little warmer than I should be.  Might be you.  You’re always so warm.”  He mumbled now, drowsy and not feeling the need to fight it anymore.  “Does this rule the planet out as a colony, even if your immune system and Bones can counteract the virus? Or at least make it not an automatic yes?”

"Your core temperature last read as below normal." Hence, Khan had given him the blanket. "So blame me, if you must." Though his tone indicated that he really did not mind blame in this case, it had been a compliment that Kirk knew him well enough to acknowledge that Khan ran warmer than most. "But settlement may prove unstable, depending upon final analysis. I am not ready to automatically dismiss this planet, but nor am I prepared to say yes, either."

“A shame, it’s such a pretty planet,” Jim said, moving his hand back in place over Khan’s, too.  “Still, wouldn’t mind not losing your company yet.  Gotten kinda used to you now.  Even your grumpiness.”  His mouth moved into a slight smile.  “All growly and stuff.”

"It is very gorgeous here, I agree." He said at first, then added more thoughtfully, "However, depending upon the source of the virus, it will prevent us from having visitors." He said, clearly implying that he had been thinking and reconsidering his stance on remaining separate and closed off from the rest of the universe. "I would not want guests, old friends, to become ill every time they stopped by." Khan said with a quick lick of his lips.

Jim’s smiled widened into something much brighter.  “You mean that?” he asked, tightening his hand around Khan’s.  “You don’t want to be isolated from the rest of the universe forever anymore?”  He lifted his head to look into Khan’s eyes more easily.  “I want to be able to see you again, after we’ve found your home.”

"Yes ..." Khan said gently. "I have reconsidered my previous stance on the issue. I do not want my people to be isolated. I want them to create bonds, to see the value of outside connections, as I have." Khan kept his bright eyes on the other man, "I do not want to say goodbye, forever. I want to be able to see you again, too." In a way, Khan was admitting to the profound effect the young Starfleet Captain had on him; they had weaved many bonds together already, and Khan was not keen on severing them completely.

“Khan.”  Jim took a deep breath and reached out for the other man a little.  “Ah, fuck it.”  He wrapped a hand around the back of Khan’s head and tugged himself forward to give the man an awkward hug.  “Thank you.”

Khan was motionless for a moment, not quite prepared for the sudden hug. Though he smiled and finally wrapped his arm around the other man, hugging him around his middle in return. "You're thanking me?" He asked, though expressed no desire to pull away, prepared to maintain the embrace for as long as Kirk would allow it.

“Yes,” Jim said, subsiding against the man in a combination of comfort and lack of energy.  “You’ve been willing to change your views, adapt to change, even when you don’t have to.  I’m grateful for that.  I didn’t really relish never getting to talk to you again.  Or only getting to send messages now and then.  At least now the potential to visit exists.  And maybe even help out if you need it.”  He allowed his own arm to remain in place around the older man.

"Yes, Captain." Khan said, speaking gently into Kirk's shoulder. There was still fierce strength in Khan, but even so, he was careful, holding Kirk just firmly enough to keep them pressed close together. "Your company would be very welcome." Khan could still not say how his people would react to an outsider being brought in and treated like family, but for the moment Khan was acting on behalf of his own interests; he wanted this.

Jim pulled back to look Khan in the eyes, remembering everything the augment had said about being judged by his family and giving up things he wanted for them.  Thinking about the difference now, Khan tempting the anger of his crew, the loss of their respect and his own position, to keep something he held of value- the companionship of his new friends, Jim in particular.  

He thought of his own reaction to Khan’s words, the augment’s assertion that he had to be the top in any physical relationship, with more than a hint of regret.  He believed now that Khan wouldn’t view him as less for being more flexible in his own sexuality.  So, he could adapt to the reality or lose the chance for something he wanted.

“Fuck it,” Jim mumbled again and pressed his mouth to Khan’s, soft and entreating.

This too came as quite the surprise. Khan hummed softly as he felt the familiar lips pressed against his own. So they were on kissing terms again, were they? Khan smiled with a gasp before he kissed back. Perhaps Kirk was just feverish, perhaps his brain was too clouded and his judgement impaired, but it didn't feel like it. This felt honest. So he held the other man tightly in his arms, moaning into his mouth, taking the time to kiss him properly.

There was a rustling outside the tent, and Jim broke away from Khan with a series of soft curses.  “Not the end of the this,” he promised the augment and settled back on his cot, even as Bones burst in.

“Sorry for taking so long, Jim, Mr. Singh” he said, all gruff efficiency.  “We had a bit of a to-do trying to get everyone to the base camp.  The broad spectrum anti-viral isn’t working-” he scanned Jim with a frown “-though the hyposprays are minimizing most of the symptoms.”  He pulled out another, checking to make sure it was Jim-safe and pressed it to Jim’s neck.  “All your necessary vitamins and nutrients.  I’ll be giving you another one for your liquids.  You’re still not going to be able to keep much down.”  He frowned at the readings and continued, “We’re already researching the virus to develop the specific anti-virus, but that may take a few days.  I’m afraid you may have to ride some of this out, Jim.”  A third hyprospray was efficiently delivered, before Bones turned the tricorder on Khan.  “Tell me how you feel, Mr. Singh.  Your readings are different from everyone else’s, unsurprisingly.”

Khan blinked as Kirk pulled away, but did not otherwise betray them as McCoy entered into the shelter. He sat up slightly, giving the doctor more room to work and care for Kirk. Listening and watching as Kirk was loaded up with several more hyposprays, Khan pulled his eyes away from the man who had been in his arms and looked up at McCoy.

Reading the tricorder upside down, Khan spoke to the doctor, trying to be helpful instead of difficult. "The muscles along my back and shoulders are tender, and I am having difficulty getting comfortable. However-" Khan raised a hand, though did not grab at McCoy or his medical device, but simply indicated on the screen, "here and here" he explained at what would otherwise be an unusual reading in a human, "... these are signs that my body is working to construct it's own immunity. If you track these markers in my system, you may find that it will aid you in helping develop an antivirus for the others."

“Thank you,” Bones said sincerely.  “I was hoping that might be the case.”  He finished his scans of both men and then pulled out a couple of sensors.  “I need to go back to the Enterprise to really focus on developing the anti-viral, but I’m going to put these on each of you to keep up real-time monitoring of your vitals.  Dr. M’Benga and several nurses are also staying planetside to keep an eye on and take care of everyone.  If you need anything, though, you know you can always call me.”  His eyes were on his best friend.

Jim grinned back, wanting to ease his friend’s fears.  “Thanks, Bones.  We know we’re in good hands.  Besides, Khan here is as much of a mother hen as you are.  He won’t let me do anything stupid.”

Bones’ gaze darted to Khan.  “I’ll hold you to that, Mr. Singh.”

With a slight nod of his head, Khan acknowledged McCoy and the threat that lay just under the surface of his words. "Of course, Doctor McCoy." He said, unafraid of being held accountable.

Jim accepted the sensor Bones put on his chest without complaint, patting his friend on the shoulder once.  “You’ll figure it out, Bones.  You always do.”

Bones swallowed and squeezed Jim’s shoulder.  “Try to get some rest.  If this lingers, you know it’s going to hit you hardest, as these things always do.”

“I will.  Promise.”  After he got in a bit more kissing with Khan.  

Nodding once, Bones turned to Khan and held out the sensor.  “I presume you’ll want to put this on yourself?  You saw how I placed it on Jim.”

Khan regarded the offer from McCoy for a moment. This was different. This was quite the change from Khan submitting himself to medical tests without any clue as to what McCoy would do with his samples. This felt respectful, whether McCoy intended it or not. He was not being manhandled without any choice in the matter. "Thank you." He said, accepting the sensor. He lifted his own shirt and placed it on the appropriate spot on his chest.

“In about an hour, I’ll have Nurse Arex check in and bring you some light food and water,” Bones said.  “We’ll see if you can handle it, Jim.  Mr. Singh should be fine.”  He looked at his friend for another moment, thinking again that he should be banned from all away missions, before sighing and heading back out of the tent again.

“Later, Bones,” Jim called after him and then looked back at Khan, waiting for a few minutes to make sure the other man had left for sure.  “Come here,” he said invitingly, once he was certain they were alone again.

Watching as the doctor left, Khan then turned his attention back towards Kirk with a little smile. "Captain." He said, reaching out to touch the other man on the side of his face, palming his jaw, letting his hand slide up and around to the back of his head. Carefully, Khan moved to lay closer to the other man, trying to find the same comfortable position they had been in before.

“Jim,” Jim countered him and reached out to stroke through Khan’s hair, tugging himself close to rest against the augment again.  “My name is Jim.”  He contented himself with just petting the other man, enjoying the silk strands in his fingers, so different from the hard strength of the rest of the man.

Khan purred at the touch, eyes lightly closing. So, they were more than on just kissing terms again, they were on first name terms as well. "Jim." He said, correcting himself as he wrapped both arms around him, then shifted to lay on his back, with Kirk laying over him slightly, to rest against his chest and shoulder. "Are you comfortable?"

Jim shifted slightly and rested his head on a warm shoulder, hand moving to stroke over Khan’s chest and neck.  “I am.  Very comfortable.”  He paused and took a few deep breaths, absorbing Khan’s scent.  “I’m sorry.”

Satisfied with this new arrangement, Khan sighed happily, lightly brushing at the short blond hair just at his fingertips. Though as Kirk suddenly apologized, Khan opened his eyes again, tilting his head to look the other man in the face. "What for?"

“Making a mess before,” Jim said.  “I’ve been unhappy about it ever since and don’t want that to happen again.  Don’t think I haven’t seen that you’re taking chances, doing things you wouldn’t have before.  I appreciate that, want to be worthy of it.”  He lifted his head to press a soft kiss to Khan’s lips.  “I’ll be happy with what you can give me.”

Nuzzling their faces together, Khan curled his fingers into the captain's uniform in a tight hold, before easing up again. He was concerned that Kirk would still feel at a disadvantage, dissatisfied with the arrangement. "Are you sure, Jim? Before, you expressed ... concerns ... and I want to make you happy, very much."

“As long as you don’t think less of me,” Jim said, “for being willing and unashamed to offer myself this way, then we’ll be alright.”  He nuzzled at Khan’s right cheek gently, eyes sliding closed again, before he rested his head back on his shoulder.

"Captain." Khan said suddenly, surprised by this and attempting to show his respect, "Jim-" He corrected, pressing his nose into the blond hair with a soft, pleased sigh. "You have my adoration and devotion." He said, not choosing his words lightly. "There should never be any doubt." He added, kissing his temple.

“Those are big, scary words,” Jim muttered, but was soothed and assured by them.  He shivered suddenly, a pulse going down his spine, and snuggled in tighter.  His fingers found the curve of Khan’s right ear and explored with a careful tenderness.  “I believe you.”

"I only wish to be honest with you. But if it makes you uncomfortable, I will not use that sort of language." Khan swallowed, then felt the need to add one more thing before being quiet on the subject. "I keep my promises, Jim." He said, though understood that it was perhaps too much, too intimidating, too intense a feeling to commit to. So he settled, a low, warm rumble building in his chest as he hummed, holding Jim close, petting his back.  

“I appreciate the honesty,” Jim said, “and I like the words, for all that they are scary to live up to.”  He let out a deep, contented sigh, as Khan stroked his back, and fell into a comfortable sleep.

A sleep that was disturbed about an hour later, just before the nurse was due to call on them, by the sudden lurching of his head and stomach.  He jolted out of Khan’s hold, startled out of his slumber, and heaved himself over the edge of the cot, landing on the floor.  With a great, disturbing choking noise, he threw up again, but there was little in his stomach.  So, he rocked with dry heaves, each one making his head swirl more, creating more nausea and causing him to throw up again.  It was a vicious cycle, one he couldn’t seem to stop, even as he tried to hold back.

It had taken nearly an hour for Khan to finally be lulled into a light sleep. His hands on Kirk at all times until the man suddenly tore himself from his embrace to drop on the floor, body heaving in attempts to throw up. "Easy-" Khan said, on the floor next to him, sitting on his knees, hand rubbing gentle circles across his back. "Breathe, breathe." He watched as Kirk suffered through the experience, body tense at trying to expel what wasn't there.

“Fuck,” Jim groaned around one harsh gag and tried to force himself to stop.  

The tent flap flew back suddenly, and the nurse hurried in, carrying another hypospray.  “Sorry, sorry,” she said, sounding harried.  “The hypospray Dr. McCoy gave you should not have worn off so quickly.”  She double-checked it was the safe for the captain variety (not wanting to kill him that way) and then pressed it into his neck.  “That should take affect in a moment,” she soothed.  “I’ll go get you some fresh clothing and water to wash.”  Her eyes glanced nervously at Khan, obviously ill-at-ease with the augment.  “Will you please watch after him, Mr. Singh?”

"Of course." Khan answered, he had been looking after the other man all this time already, he wasn't about to stop now. Once the nurse left, Khan just continued to rub his back. He felt more than a fair amount of guilt that Kirk and his away team were sick, all because they were trying to find him a planet to settle his people. "Tell me, what can I do?"

Jim breathed a little easier, the vertigo and nausea easing, and asked, “Help me up and out of my tunic?  I’ve made a mess this time.  Ugh.  Actually, just help me up, please.  I’ll take care of the shirt.”  He was embarrassed by the mess he’d just made of himself.  And a little disgusted.

Hooking his arms under Kirk's arm pits from behind, Khan lifted the man up, then back to sit on the edge of his cot. "No, it's alright. Just relax. I'll take care of it." He said, his hands on Kirk's hips before they twisted in the bottom hem of his shirt and he carefully peeled it up, off his torso. Though not wanting to leave him bare and cold, Khan then reached for the blanket they had both been laying against, still slightly warm and draped it over his shoulders, pulling it snug across his chest. "Don't think about it. Just breathe, and I'll give you some water in a moment."

The nurse returned with a small basin of steaming water and some non-descript clothes for Jim to change in to.  “Dr. McCoy noticed your readings before I did,” she confessed.  “I’m sorry, Captain.”  She set the bowl nearby and asked, “Do you need anything more at the moment?  I’ll be bringing in something light for you to eat and drink.  You should be able to keep it down, now that you’ve had a new hypospray.”

Jim smiled weakly at her and said, “Mr. Singh can help me out, Nurse Arex.  There’s no need to apologize.  I know you’re all doing your best to look after the whole Away Team.  How is everyone else?”

Nurse Arex’s large, purple eyes widened a little and then she made a noise of thanks.  “They are all feeling shaky, Captain, though only Ensign Cooper has also had another attack of vertigo.  Dr. McCoy will be calling in a few hours with an update on his progress.”

“Thank you, Nurse,” Jim said and leaned into Khan, shivering a little.  “Please let me know if anyone’s condition worsens significantly.”

“Of course, Captain,” she said, glanced again at Khan and disappeared back out of the tent.

“You scare her,” Jim said and slowly began to struggle out of his pants.  “Let me wash off while the water is still warm.  Please.”

"I have not harmed her." He said quietly in his own defense. He had not even stood in her presence, or presented himself in his usual imposing manner. Though, he knew not to ask why he scared her; his history with the Enterprise and Starfleet was not something any of them would soon forget, no matter how hard he tried to show that he could be trusted.

Letting Kirk lean on him, Khan helped Kirk out of his pants. "Quickly, before you become chilled." He said, making sure the basin of water, fresh clothes and further blankets were all within arms reach.

Jim squeezed Khan’s arm soothingly and said, “I know you haven’t, Noonien.  I know you won’t.”  He slowly picked up the cloth left with the water and began to wipe himself down with the warm water, grateful to clean himself even in this perfunctory manner.  He leaned against Khan for some support, annoyed by how damn shaky his legs were.  He felt like he had the avian flu, something he’d managed to catch when he was young.  

Finally finished to his satisfaction, he reached for the drying cloth, rubbing it even more quickly over his skin.  “Damn, I’m nearly out of breath,” he grumbled, eyes shutting as he reached for a last burst of strength to clothe himself.  “This is pathetic.”

"Stop." Khan said, firmly, but quietly. He sat Kirk back down on the edge of the cot, touching the side of his face, tilting his head to make him look at him for a moment. "Stop putting yourself down for this. This is not weakness, and you are not to feel shame. Please, Captain. Just let me do this, without a fight." He said, taking up the clean clothes and began to dress him, taking care with each limb, until he was at last on his knees, pulling a pair of thick socks onto his feet.

Jim blew out a harsh breath and allowed Khan to care for him, even though it was hard.  He was so used to being on his own, despite the new situation, with friends and crew.  “I’ve never liked feeling helpless,” he said quietly.  “I’ve fought all my life not to be.”  He put a hand on Khan’s right shoulder to steady himself.  “And you’re so strong.”

Remaining on his knees, Khan sat up, hands on Kirk's thighs as he looked up at him. "Believe me, Captain. I understand. We are both fighters." He said, then helped pull one blanket across Kirk's lap, then pulled another over his shoulders again. Khan smoothed his hands down body, slowly pressing to create friction and warmth. "This is not a competition. We are both strong."

“Thank you, Noonien,” Jim said and cupped his face tenderly, stroking his cheekbones.  “I think I’d like to kiss you, but I best wash out my mouth a few times first.”  He smiled a little ruefully.  “Do we have anymore water?”

Khan turned his cheek into the hand against his face, smiling as he was touched like this. The show of affection was very much welcome. Even though both men were not feeling their best, the exchange of comforts helped ease the experience. "Yes- here." Khan said, reaching for the bottle of water and empty container he had left on the floor by the cot.

“Thanks,” Jim said, taking it and swishing some around in his mouth, spitting into the container.  He repeated the action several times, before he felt sufficiently clean.  “I would really love to brush my teeth right now.”  He set the bottle and container nearby, in case.  “Sorry for waking you up that way … you were asleep, yeah?”

"Hm." Khan glanced to some of the supplies they had in the tent, though could not recall seeing anything that resembled a tooth brush. But he stood and nosed around slightly, looking for something suitable. "It is to be expected- I was just starting to fall asleep ... what is in here?" He asked, pulling at a handled case that sat at the bottom of the pile, under the standard issue emergency kit.

Jim glanced at it and said, “My bag has my personal items.  I’m just not sure I have the strength to go brush my teeth, the way I have been.”  He eased himself slowly to his feet and walked toward the augment, obviously stiff.

Pulling the case out from under the rest, Khan unlatched the sides and flipped it open. Though as Kirk approached, he glanced to the side and gave him a suspicious look. "You should remain seated." He said, picking through his personal items until he found a sonic toothbrush.

Jim returned the suspicious look with a grin and settled himself beside the augment.  “This I’d like to do for myself.  Please.”  He reached out for the sonic toothbrush, grateful for the chance to further clean.  And for modern technology.  He turned his back on Khan, mostly so he could open his mouth in embarrassing ways to clean out every inch.  When he finished, he put the toothbrush away with a happy sigh and then blinked a few times.  “Now I have to get up.”

"Well, who's fault is that?" Khan smiled and pressed his lips to Kirk's shoulder with a slight nudge. Even with the gentle teasing, Khan got up first, only to wrap his arms around the other man, giving him warning before hauling him to his feet. He paused, holding Kirk from behind like this, making sure he wasn't going to drop suddenly or throw up again.

Jim reached back and put a hand on Khan’s side to steady himself, before leaning back in to him.  “Mmm, all right, I could get to like this.”  He turned his head and pressed his mouth to Khan’s cheek.  “And now, I’m not disgusting anymore.”

"I already like it." Khan said, still holding him, long arms wrapped around his hip and chest, pressed warm against his backside. "Now then, back to where we were." He said, taking a step first, forcing Kirk to move his legs until they were back by the two cots that had been pushed up against the other.

“Hey,” Jim protested a little at being dragged, but did not really fight the much stronger man.  He angled his head to look at Khan with a mixture of play and arousal, not dimmed even by the illness.  “Now what do you plan to do with me?”

"My plan-?" Khan kissed the side of his face, "Is for you to settle down again and rest. My plan- is to lay down and hold you again, so that if you try to escape, I'll know." After all, there wasn't much to be done elsewhere. The medical staff on the planet were caring for the other members of the away team, helping them clean up after being ill and getting them the right relief so that they could rest while running tests.

“Oh, fine,” Jim muttered and angled himself to lie down, knowing it was a good idea.  “I should probably get some more rest.  And you were surprisingly comfortable for someone built like a rock.”  He looked over Khan with approval.  “A very thin rock.”

After Kirk began to settle, Khan stretched out again. Shifting to his side, Khan was facing Kirk and kept his back to the entrance of the shelter; this was an unnatural position for him, as instinct told him he should keep the entryway in his sights, but holding onto Kirk proved to be more important then watching for comings and goings into the tent. "Warmer too, I would hope." He said, carefully palming his hand over his chest; though the sensor was there to keep track of his vitals and directly relay the information to McCoy, Khan wanted to know the same information as well, so he left his hand on the center of his chest, feeling Kirk breathe under his hand, keeping track of the pulses in his heart.

Jim reached up and caressed Khan’s right cheek, thumb gentle on his high cheekbone.  “I think hot is the right word for you,” he said and pressed closer to brush gentle kisses over Khan’s mouth.  He was trying to draw the older man out, encourage him to take the step to deepening the contact.  His other hand slid over to cover the one on his chest, feeling both move with each breath.  “You are protective.  Between Bones and you, I’m never going to get away with anything.”

If Khan was hesitant, it was because he did not want to rush things and end up making Kirk, both of them, unhappy like before. That, and he felt odd about taking advantage of the other man while he was ill. But even with those thoughts in the forefront of his mind, Khan still hummed agreeably as Kirk began to pet the side of his face. "I am protective." Khan agreed, opening his eyes and fixing them on Kirk, "But I do not wish to be overbearing. If I go too far, tell me."

Jim snorted and said, “You know me well enough by now to understand that not only will I tell you, I’ll tell you loudly.  But it works both ways.  You need to speak up if I’m doing things that are uncool.  I mentioned before that I’ve never really been any good at relationships, so I’m probably going to make mistakes and piss you off.”  He settled completely, hand coming to rest on Khan’s cheek and then slide down to frame his neck.  “This is nice.  Thank you for sticking with me.”

Khan let his eyes lightly close again, taking a deep, slow breath under the joint embrace the two men had on one another. "You think I would run off, just because I do not have security officers assigned to me?" He paused, "Or is that not what you mean?" He opened one eye partly, getting another quick look at Kirk before keeping both eyes closed once more. "Even if- and when you do piss me off, you still have my loyalty, Jim."

Jim pressed a light kiss to Khan’s mouth and murmured, “But not yet all your trust, or you wouldn’t automatically think I’m referring to you running away.  I’m thanking you for staying nearby while I’ve been sick and less than appealing.  It means a lot to me.”  He rested their foreheads together, both heads on the pillows.

With a slight nod, Khan indicated that he understood. He had after all ignored a direct order, to stay at his side; it was still the right thing to do. Khan sighed as his brain began to calm down, though as he felt himself slip closer to unconsciousness, Khan kept a firmer grip on the hem of Kirk's clean tunic. He would stay, and keep hold of the other man for as long as he was able. If that meant only for a few more hours or days, until the antivirus could be administered, or over the next few months on the Enterprise, until the day they were finally parted; Khan wanted to be with him.

 

 


	10. And In More Sickness

Dr. McCoy knelt by the bed where Jim lay, sweaty and delirious and with a fever so high the doctor feared for damage to all organs.  He applied another hypospray, grateful to see the temperature go down a little, though not as much as he wanted.  The effectiveness of each hypospray had been decreasing, as had the time they lasted.  He looked up at the augment nearby and said, “That should help for a few hours, but I don’t have to tell you that things are not looking good right now.  The anti-virals produced by your immune system have given us a starting point, but so far, there’s not a one-to-one correlation between them and success.  The fact that you’re still not well, three days later, doesn't bode well.”

He turned his attention back to his friend and captain, as Jim stirred on the cot with a weak moan.  He smoothed through his hair, hating the need for the bulky glove between them.  “You’ve done a good job with him,” he told Khan, before struggling to his feet again.  “Please make sure to keep giving him liquids and some electrolytes, plus the vitamin hypos.”

Standing not far off, Khan watched McCoy do his job. It had been more than a little distressing to see Kirk get worse, body boiling in his own skin in his arms. "Believe me, Doctor- if my cells figure this one out, you will be the second one to know." Khan held his arm draped across his own chest, clutching at his shoulder. His soreness was getting harder to ignore, and while other infected were still struggling with vomiting and nausea, fever and sweats, Khan was getting lethargic for longer periods of time.

"Thank you." He said as McCoy complimented his care of Kirk. "I will continue to give him my full attention, so that you will have more time to work." He said, knowing that McCoy wanted to be at his friend's side as well, but caring for Kirk was a full time task and McCoy needed to find a solution to all of this, rather then get wrapped up in his personal investment.

“Don’t hesitate to call me for any reason,” Dr. McCoy said, looking between the augment and Jim.  “I’ve got to see to the others and return to the Enterprise to check on our progress.”  He nodded respectfully to Khan, cast a last look at Jim and then squared his shoulders and headed back out.

In a few moments, Jim’s eyes blinked open, as the fever subsided, and he focused blearily on Khan.  “Noonien?” he asked, reaching out a little.  “Was Bones just here?  I thought I heard him ... but I can’t always tell what’s real.”

"Yes Jim." Khan moved around the cot and squatted down so that he was eye level with Kirk. He took his hand and guided it back down to his side, encouraging him to save his energy. "I am here. And McCoy was just here too." Reaching forward with his free hand, Khan brushed back the sweaty hair from Kirk's forehead. "You've been fighting a dangerous fever. But he left to check on the others."

Jim took a shaky breath and asked, “How did he look?  I know the way he gets ... poor Bones, we can’t just have a quiet away mission where nobody gets hurt or sick.”  He tangled their fingers and surveyed Khan.  “And how are you?  I know you’re not all the way well, either.”

"He is worried about you, and the others, of course." Khan said, feeling that there was no sense in keeping secrets. "I believe he wants to be here at your side, even though it is more important that he remains in the lab on the Enterprise." Khan rolled his shoulders back at the mention of his own health, trying to ease a tight muscle cramp. "My body is still fighting the virus. Which means it has yet to produce a viable immunity sequence for Doctor McCoy to use."

“Lie down again?” Jim asked, tugging on him very lightly.  “There’s no reason for you not to rest and try to recuperate.”  He felt a stab of regret for everything he put his best friend through, knowing the man was unlikely to be sleeping or otherwise taking care of himself, either.  “Do you know how the rest of the away team are?”

"They are getting very attentive care, Captain." He said, using the title while he was essentially reporting on his people. "There are- so far, two distinct stages of the virus. Some have not evolved past nausea and vomiting, but others, like yourself, have been fighting high fever spikes." Khan however gave his hand a gentle squeeze, "But they are all being looked after, Captain."

“They are all still alive,” Jim murmured with relief and pushed his face into his pillow, body trying to relax.  “Noonien ... if I get delirious ... I often get weird ... Bones has seen it a few times, but it’ll be an all new mess for you.  Just- don’t listen to the stuff I say, all right?”

"Of course Captain, everyone is still alive." He said, feeling that such dark thoughts should be the last thing on his mind; even though it was a realistic concern. "I understand." Khan said as Kirk explained that he might behave oddly, more than usual, if things continued to progress the way they were. He settled back on the bed, though gave Kirk some space this time, not wanting him to get overheated now that his fever was finally down.

Jim kept their hands linked, regretting that Khan needed to lie so far from him.  But he was overly hot, and Khan was not well, so it was a prudent decision.  He allowed himself to drift again for some period of time, soothed by the presence of the augment and weary from his body’s battle with illness.    

The air split suddenly with the shriek of a pain, which startled Jim to alertness, urging him to struggle to get up and out of the tent, as he recognized the sound as Nurse Arex.  A series of strange screams echoed from the same direction, driving Jim forward on his shaky legs.  He reached for a phaser that wasn’t there, frowned, but continued toward the exit.

"Captain!" Khan rolled out of bed after Kirk when he started to head out. He reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder to act as an anchor, "I'll look into it. Stay put." He knew it was Kirk's instinct to go to the aid of his people, as it would have been Khan's as well, but whatever distress they were in, Kirk was in no position to help them right now.

“I can’t stay here,” Jim said desperately, but recognized that Khan would be able to help more than he could.  “Please, find out what’s happening.”  He gave the other man a light, urging push toward the outside.

The screams continued, raising in volume, joined now by other shouting and obvious confusion.

“Please, Khan, go!” Jim yelled, stepping aside to let the augment get out unimpeded.

Having not been outside much since the group had been first quarantined on the planet, Khan squinted against the bright sunlight, but recovered well enough to run towards the yelling. In another shelter, Khan burst in on quite the unexpected sight. Ensign Greenly, an otherwise reserved geologist was attacking Nurse Arex with full rage and ferocity. His body was drenched in sweat and his visible skin had patches of sickly yellow and green, which was quite the contrast to the bright pink of his overheated body.

Grabbing the man from behind, one arm hooked around his neck and the other fighting for control of his flailing arm, Khan began to fight to subdue the man. Generally, this would be easy work for the augment, but the fever was making Greenly wild and stronger then expected, plus every movement Khan made was verging on being genuinely painful. Growling as he fought to restrain the man instead of harm him further, Khan began to bark out orders to the other members of the medical staff, "Someone ... sedate ... him!"

Dr. M’Benga, fully decked in his isolation suit, approached with caution.  “We tried!  He’s not responding to the sedative properly,” he said, holding his tricorder firmly in one hand.  “Can you please hold him, while I take a few more readings?  I don’t want to give him anything else until I know what’s going on.”

Nurse Arex, meanwhile, was being tended to by one of the other nurses, who was competently treating nasty gashes to her forearms, which she had raised to defend herself.  Her isolation suit was torn, too, compromising its protection from the virus.

Jim stumbled out of the tent a few steps behind Khan, took one look over the scene and grabbed the first communicator he found, calling Bones and letting him know what was going on.   

Khan growled, frustrated with the man he was struggling with. It would be easy, all too easy just to apply more pressure to his neck, cut off the air, snap it. But instead, he began to twist his legs around the man, pulling him tightly into a full body lock, "NO!" He snapped, treating him like a bad dog as the geologist tried to bite him. Khan hooked both arms around him in such a way that he could lace his fingers behind the back of Greenly's skull, forcing him to put his head down, chin to his chest and mouth force shut. "I have him." He said tightly, "Stay still. Easy." He said, not with the gentleness he usually had for Kirk, but quite firm with him.

Jim closed the communicator, knowing Bones and more of his team were on their way, and made toward Khan and his crew.  He forced his body straight and strong, tossing away all the weakness he felt trying to drag him down.  

“Mr. Singh,” he said to the augment, as he reached their sides, “take it easy.  He’s not in control of himself.  He obviously doesn’t understand you ... or anything.  Be gentler.”  He looked to M’ Benga.  “What’s going on, doc?”

“Ensign Greenly’s fever spiked higher than we’ve seen yet, and something’s interfering with the sedative we gave him,” M’Benga said, demeanor collected and assured, despite everything.  “I’ll be administering a counteragent to the first sedative now and trying another.”  He nodded to the nurses, even as the whine of the transporter sounded behind them.  “Nurse Arex will be all right, but her suit was compromised.” 

Dr. McCoy, Nurse Chapel and two Security officers, all in full isolation gear, materialized on the scene.  Bones took a quick look at everything and said, “Chapel, check Arex and then look over the rest of the away team.  Make sure nobody else is about to go postal.  Ensigns, you stand ready to replace Mr. Singh.  Jim, sit your damned ass down, you fool!”

Khan forcibly kept his breathing deep and even, maintaining his heart rate and the high energy he needed to keep Greenly under control. He growled in warning every time Greenly tried to suddenly twist out of his hold, but Khan had him completely immobile. That was, until his body gave a lurch and a yellow froth began to drip out of the corner of his mouth. "Captain- DOCTOR!" He yelled, needing their attention, right now. "He's having a seizure." He said, easing his hold just enough so that the now unconscious man did not snap his own neck while in Khan's restrictive hold.

Dr. M’Benga and Dr. McCoy converged at the same time, M’Benga applying the first of the hyposprays to counteract the sedative.  “Ease him down, Mr. Singh,” Dr. McCoy said, “and then please get Jim back to your tent and wait for someone to come check you both out.”

Jim was ignoring Bones, kneeling down by Nurse Arex and soothing her with his presence and gentle words.  Nurse Chapel had left Arex in the care of the other nurse, Ensign Gronk, who shot him a grateful look, as he carefully finished treating her wounds and scanned her for signs of the virus.

This time Khan did show quite a bit of care, easing the man to the floor, even as his body seized, lashing out at anything within striking distance. Khan took a few hits, but did not retaliate as he would have if the man had been conscious. Once he let go, Khan backed away so that the doctors and the security team could access him better. He stepped back, lingering close to Kirk, though did not attempt to remove him from the scene. He was with his people, helping, while he could. While Khan kept his eyes on Greenly and the doctors, prepared to step in again if it came to it.

Jim turned his eyes toward the doctors and Greenly, concern evident on his face.  The movements of his top medical staff were swift, but there was an underlayer of worry, too.  

And then Dr. McCoy said, “We need to get him to the Enterprise.  Full decontamination and isolation protocols.”  He flipped open his communicator and said, “Scotty, beam up three directly to the isolation ward- myself, Dr. M’Benga and Ensign Greenly.  Full lockdown protocols.”  

“Bones,” Jim said, but the three were already vanishing from view.  He rocked back on his heels and swallowed hard.  “Fuck.”  He climbed back to his feet and looked at the Security officers, ordering, “You two remain on guard until further notice.  We may need the extra eyes and ears.”      

Glancing down to nurse Arex, Khan finally allowed himself to take in the sight of her injuries. She would survive the attack, but she had been exposed to the virus, she would have to remain on the planet. However, he did not keep his eyes on her for very long, knowing she was afraid of him. Instead he looked to the security officers as Kirk gave his orders, then remained by the Captain, shadowing him until they were back outside.

Jim offered Ensign Gronk assistance getting Nurse Arex to a tent to rest and then took a quick survey to make sure everyone was well and in their place.  He managed to get mid-camp and then reached for Khan, weakness seizing his limbs again.  “Fuck,” he said, fighting not to let the wobbles show.

"You put on a brave show for your crewmen." Khan said, aligning himself at his side, arm around his middle as he helped support his weight. "You are very good with them." It was easy to see how they looked up to him and responded to his leadership.

Jim let his head rest on Khan’s shoulder for a moment, before saying, “Thank you for helping with Ensign Greenly.  He’s not looking well.  I hope he’ll be all right.”  He sighed and turned his head into the warm skin next to his cheek.

"Of course, Captain." Khan leaned the side of his head against Kirk, rubbing gently, preferring to have his scent again instead of that of Greenly. Walking back to their shelter, Khan then added, "If another attack occurs, I will step in again ... and attempt to be more gentle in my approach."

Jim tilted a little smile at him and said, “I would appreciate that.  If someone is legitimately attacking you, even from my crew, I do not expect you to hold back.  But in this kind of situation, a bit of gentleness is appreciated.  I like my crew intact.”  He sighed as they entered the tent and went straight for his cot, tired beyond belief.  “Lie with me.”

Though Khan understood that Kirk was giving him permission to defend himself, the augment would always have the distinct advantage in such a situation and therefore knew better then to actually follow through. This was not war, not anymore. He would be mindful of their frailty and attempt to do no harm.

Laying down with Kirk again, Khan groaned uncomfortably as he tried to stretch out on his back. "If you feel yourself begin to get overheated, let me know. We'll get you something to drink and another hypospray."

Jim hitched himself even closer to Khan and reached out to rub down his back, trying to work out the pains.  “And you tell me if you feel worse.  Honestly, it makes me worry even more about all of our chances, if you’re not getting better.”

Turning his head to the side, Khan smiled drowsily as he began to receive the light massage. "Don't worry about me, Captain. I might be tired more than usual, but my symptoms have not escalated in the same way as yours." And it was perhaps a good thing, too. Dealing with a feverishly violent Khan would not be easy, for anyone. "But- that does feel quite good." He said, hoping that Kirk had the energy to keep going for a little while longer.

“Of course I’m going to worry about you, Noonien,” Jim scolded lightly, still working on his back.  “I want you to feel good.  Here, turn over and let me get your back.  It’ll be easier.  Someday, if you like, I’ll give you a full body, sensual massage.”

Khan groaned with a smile, "... teasing me, Jim." He said as he rolled over onto his stomach, then sighed as he let his body settle. Khan folded his arms under his head and kept his head turned to the side so that he could keep Kirk in his sights. "Don't push yourself." He said, not wanting Kirk to expend too much energy on the task of his comfort, when they were both unwell. Though in a way it was fair, as they tended to care and spoil the other with attention when they were each able.

“You like being teased,” Jim said, pushing up Khan’s shirt to expose his skin, and kissed the broad expanse of back once.  He then massaged the whole area with strong, experienced hands, making sure to get the spots that seemed most sore.

Khan sighed and even whimpered softly as his tender muscles began to ease at being touched. "Thank you." He said after a few quiet minutes, "I know it has been a strange few days ... but I do not regret that it has brought us closer." They likely would not have gotten as much privacy as they had been allowed if they were still on the Enterprise, with Khan in his cell and Kirk with his duties as Captain.

“I’m glad for that, too,” Jim said, voice warm and husky.  He was both amused and somewhat humbled that Khan showed such weakness for him now.  Imagine, whimpering!  He leaned down for another kiss between strong shoulderblades.

"Feels good." Khan said, pleased with the attention he was getting. His breathing was slow and steady, eyes closed as he let himself relax. Though a warm thrill ran down his spine as Kirk kissed his back and he smiled into the crook of his arm. "When we're back on the Enterprise-" he began quietly, expressing no doubt that this would all get cleared up in time, "will I be able to schedule some time with you ... for something like this?"

“Yes,” Jim said.  “For this and more.  Much, much more.  I cheated myself out of learning how skilled you are at being a lover before.  I want to find out.”  He lowered his head to rest on Khan’s back.  “Are you feeling better?”

"Hm." Khan purred, "I look forward to being able to bed you properly." Which included more than just a few gym mats laid out on top of each other. He had plans for the young Captain, and looked forward to getting the chance to follow through with them. "Yes, I'm feeling better." Khan gave a sigh, "Are you comfortable like that? I enjoy feeling the weight of you pressed against me like this." He admitted.

“I am rather happy,” Jim said and rubbed his cheek over the broad planes of Khan’s back.  “You don’t mind if I stay, do you?”  He closed his eyes and hummed under his breath.  “Bed me properly?  I rather like the sound of that ... and the way you say it.”

It was perhaps an old fashioned way of expressing such things, but it was how the 300 year old augment was. Khan barely managed to open an eye to peer out at Kirk. He smiled a little to himself before closing his eyes again, quite relaxed under the other man. "Wake me up if you need anything."

“Think right now, I have all I need here,” Jim mumbled and snuggled up even closer to his lover.  “Very comfortable.  I promise.”  He nibbled lightly at his nape, even as his eyes slid shut.

*            *            *

For the most part, Khan remained still under Kirk, finally getting some of the rest his body was craving. After some time however, he began to shift and eventually curled up behind his companion, arms wrapped around his chest and head bowed to his shoulder. It put him at ease to hold him like this, his scent filling his lungs with every breath.

But of course it didn't last. When Khan woke up naturally, he felt well rested and somewhat better, but Kirk was getting uncomfortably hot in his arms. With a lick of his lips, Khan gave a careful kiss to the back of his neck before sitting up, withdrawing his arms.

Jim groaned at being shifted and muttered a little under his breath, unintelligible and indistinct.  He rolled on his back and toward Khan, reaching out unconsciously for his companion.  “C’mbck,” he muttered into the pillows and shifted into the warm spot left by Khan.  “Sam?”

Since Kirk was asleep, Khan did not take any offence to him muttering another name. He was dreaming, and had a great deal weighing on his mind, not the least of which was a compromised away team and now, even under full quarantine, one of the sick on the Enterprise still carried risk. So it stood to reason that Kirk's mind was elsewhere. "Go back to sleep." He said, apologizing for disturbing him.

Jim groaned and shifted a little in the blankets, before whimpering softly, “Sam, where are you?”  His fevered brain was back on Tarsus, where he had been sent not long after his brother ran away for good.  When the first genocide had happened, Jim had longed for his older brother, who had at least been there for him most of his life.  The desertion of the last member of his family had stung him deeply, but had truly been hammered home by his sheer loneliness on Tarsus.  There, he’d finally developed his completely independent nature, even while helping others himself.  But his delirium dreams had carried him back to those first days, when he’d woken up calling for Sam, only to realize he was alone and in charge of a group of terrified, starving children.

“Sam, please,” he cried, a sob wracking the back of his throat.  “Please.”

"Captain." Khan frowned and reached out, petting his fingers through Kirk's hair, damp with sweat. "Jim-" He said, drawing him up into his arms, attempting to gently wake him up. The tone of his outcries struck a very strong cord in Khan; he recognized the desperate, begging hope, even when all had been lost. "Jim." He said again, holding him in his arms almost like one would a child, rocking gently, palming the front of his chest, wanting him to wake up.

Jim recognized the contact, if not the person, and curled into Khan, seeking out his strength instinctively.  His fingers curled into the fabric of Khan’s tunic, tightening desperately so he could not lose the other man.  “‘S bad, Sam,” he slurred into the warmth of Khan’s chest.  “Dying out there.”

Breathing steadily, remaining solid and dependable, Khan held the confused man through his feverish dream. "Jim." He said again, palming the side of his face, "Jim, wake up. No one is dying. Wake up-" He said, tone gentle, not letting his worry show. "Come on ... wake up for me, open your eyes Jim. Open your eyes."

Jim’s eyes fluttered a few times and then cracked open, confusion plain on his face.  “Sam?”  He shifted and looked up into Khan’s face, blinking a few times.  “Khan?”  Shaking his head a few times to try and clear it, he refocused on the man holding him.  “Khan ... fuck.”  He shivered and shifted, but to get closer, not move away.  “I was dreaming about Tarsus ... that happens when I get sick sometimes.”

"That seems like a very unwelcome thing to dream about." Khan said, his hand still against the side of his face, lightly thumbing over his feverish skin. Pressing their foreheads together, Khan breathed out softly, glad that Kirk was awake. Kissing his forehead, he then suggested, "Let's get you to drink some water."

“Dreaming about my brother, too,” Jim said with a sigh, cupping Khan’s cheek, but keeping his other hand tight in his tunic.  “If that means either of us has to move, I vote against it.”  He angled his head up for a kiss, tasting Khan’s lip gently and asking him for more.

Not about to deny Kirk something that he needed, Khan did not move, even the few inches it would take for him to bend over and reach for the bottle of water. "I'm not going anywhere." He said, letting their noses brush before he began to kiss him back, lightly sucking on his lips. His own hand returned to the center of his chest, pressing soothingly as if you say: _this is real, you are here with me now. You are safe with me._

Jim moaned softly, a much different sound from the ones he made before, and slid his hand around to cradle the back of Khan’s head.  He deepened the kiss, wanting more contact, more intimacy, to wipe away the memories and loneliness.  He suspected Khan understood both of those things far too well.  But when he fell back, panting for breath, he admitted, “Maybe I better drink something.”

Khan wanted to give Kirk the comfort and reassurance he deserved, so he kept one hand on him still, even as he became exhausted by a little bit of kissing. "As I said ..." Khan smiled, kissing the side of his face a few more times, drawing away the beads of sweat on his skin with his lips. Reaching for the bottle of water, Khan then helped Kirk take hold of it so that they could both guide it to his mouth for a drink.

Jim gripped the bottle and drank a few swallows gratefully, before turning his head slightly to stick out his tongue at Khan.  “Know-it-all,” he griped and then went back for a few more swallows.  “Fuck, that’s good.  Is it time for another hypospray?  Never thought I’d look forward to injections, but I’m pretty damn hot.”

Khan however eased somewhat and smiled a bit when Kirk showed himself still playful, even in this tiring and distressing state. "Yes, it is." Khan confirmed, "Would you like me to contact of Doctor McCoy?" They hadn't heard from him since Ensign Greenly had been transferred to the Enterprise, but Khan felt that McCoy would want to administer the hypospray himself and also know about the additional symptoms of Kirk's delirious dreaming.

Jim grumbled and then nodded.  “Yeah, I should check in with him anyway.  I’m surprised he hasn’t burst in here already to administer drugs ... though it could be because of Greenly.”  He frowned and pushed his forehead against Khan’s for a moment, drawing comfort, as he considered the idea that the ensign had passed.  “Grab my communicator for me, please?”

For the communicator, Khan had to get up, but before he did, he nodded slightly with their heads pressed together. Then letting his feet drop to the floor, Khan crossed the small room and grabbed the communicator from the floor where it had been previously discarded. "Here you are." He said, handing it over to Kirk, sitting on the edge of the cot, watchful and concerned on behalf of his lover.

Jim slowly sat up and flicked open the communicator.  “Kirk to McCoy,” he said.

There was a pause and then McCoy answered, “McCoy here.  Jim, how are you?  I’ll be beaming down in a few minutes to check on you and everyone else.  Make sure you keep yourself hydrated.  I can see your temperatures up again.  I’ll just be a moment.  McCoy out.”

Jim blinked at his communicator and then at Khan.  “Well, I guess he’ll be here in a minute then.”

The short exchange did not sit well with Khan, nor Kirk, from his reaction. Perhaps Greenly did not survive this stage of the virus. Perhaps there was no good news. Khan looked away from Kirk with a frown, eyes down as he tried to press his brain for the right response. But without all the information, all Khan could do was ensure that Kirk was comfortable and taken care of for the moment. "Keep drinking the water- I'll open the door for some air circulation." He said, feeling that might help keep his body temperature reasonable.   

“Take a look outside and make sure things look peaceful?” Jim asked, wanting to know the status of the rest of the away team.  He continued to sip his water, as ordered by Khan, and lifted his head toward the breath of fresh air that came from the open tent flap.  “Then come back over and sit beside me.  Please.”

Once the tent flap was tied off to be kept open, Khan paused a moment as he looked out towards the other shelters. There was no screaming or yelling of feverish fits, at least not for the moment. "Nothing to report. Just one of the nurses going to the next tent." He said, unable to give the name specifically as it was difficult to tell who it was while they wore full contamination suits. Heading back to Kirk and the cot, Khan sat and faced him, placing a hand on his leg.

Jim sighed and leaned in to Khan, tired already and wanting the strength.  He straightened a little at the familiar transporter whine and the good doctor walked into the tent.  

“Captain.  Mr. Singh.”  The tricorder was already out and scanning Jim with efficiency.  And then the hypospray administered to Jim’s neck, before he spoke again, “Your condition is pretty much the same, Jim, but the temperature spikes are a little higher.”  He didn’t have to say that he didn’t like that.

“How’s Ensign Greenly?” Jim asked, eyeing Bones worriedly.

Bones sighed and lowered his head.  “He’s dead, Jim.”

“Dead?” Jim asked, voice tight in his throat.

“The virus made his nervous system go completely haywire,” Bones said.  “There was nothing Dr. M’Benga or I could do.”

Oh. The feeling Khan was experiencing was unexpected. Greenly wasn't one of his, but he was one of Captain Kirk's, so he still felt the loss. Not as personally as he would if it had been one of his own people, but there was still something quite strong there. They were one fewer, one less; a missing piece. Khan slowly raised his gaze, looking to McCoy. They were all so frail. Khan then turned his head towards Kirk, still not speaking, but his heart went out to him, knowing the position he was in quite well.

After a moment, Khan asked, "Has anyone else displayed violent, feverish symptoms?"

“Not yet, but everyone, except you, Mr. Singh, is slowly getting worse,” Bones said.  “And we haven’t been able to isolate the antiviral yet, merely retard the speed of its spread.  Nurse Arex has contracted the virus, but everyone who’s been wearing isolation gear is still free of it.”  He heaved a soft sigh and put a hand on Jim’s shoulder.  

“Don’t worry, Bones, you’ll find the cure,” Jim said.  “I trust you.”  

Bones turned to Khan and said, “You’re not doing that well, either, judging by your readings.  Your immune system will probably beat this, but not at a rate that’s very helpful right now.”

Khan let his eyes slide over to Kirk for a moment as he let all the information compile; Kirk when he was well, to now that he was sick, as well as the severity and speed at which it had all occurred. "Doctor McCoy, may I speak with you a moment?" Khan asked after a long, thoughtful silence. He was standing now, stance formal and rigid, eye intensely focused.

“Of course,” Bones said and squeezed Jim’s shoulder once more.  “I’ll want to look you over once more time after I check on the rest of the away team.”  He gestured outside for Khan.  “After you, Mr. Singh.”

With a deep breath, Khan lifted his head towards the sun, briefly allowing himself to enjoy the feeling of it while they stood outside. "Doctor." He said, closing his eyes lightly to find a temperament that would be agreeable, before opening them once more to look at the other man as he spoke. "I have a proposal for you, that I would like you listen to, and seriously consider."

He was thankful that McCoy had consented to speak with him privately outside, knowing Kirk would not like what he was about to say. "I believe you should isolate me. Accelerate the virus in my system, force it to develop the antibodies you need to synthesize a vaccine for the rest." His jaw shifted as Khan exercised great control over the muscles in his mouth as he spoke casually about making himself into a test subject. "Consider- worst case, everyone here contracts the violent fever and dies. And when I finally succumb, only then will you have the information you need, but it will be too late for those who have passed."

Khan raised his chin slightly. "For a matter of record, I have already survived an elevated concentration of Hesperan Thumping Cough, Symbalene Blood Burns, Terellian Death Syndrome, Andorian Shingles, and Rigelian Fever." He swallowed, but kept his eyes steadily on McCoy. "I can do this for you, Doctor. Let me be useful to you."

“Goddamnit, man, I can’t do that,” Dr. McCoy said.  “Even with your permission, that violates not only the Hippocratic oath, but half of Starfleet Medical’s regulations, as well.  And there’s no guarantee it would work anyway.” He blew out a harsh breath, making a little circle around Khan, before turning back to face him.  “As it is, I have violently misused you in the past, although I can’t say I would change my actions, if I had them to do over again.  Jim was dead, and nothing else mattered.  Still, they could and probably should, have taken my license and kicked me out of Starfleet.  What with everything else that happened, they only gave me a rap on the knuckles and told me never to do it again.  And here you are, asking me to do something similar.”

Khan gave a slight nod, and even attempted to smile at McCoy. "I thought as much, Doctor. Therefore-" again, Khan paused, rolling his sore shoulders back with a slight grinding and soft crack, "allow me access to what you have already, and I will do it to myself. You can monitor my progress, without it being under your name." They could save everyone, without McCoy getting the blame if things went badly.

“There’s no certainty the damn virus won’t kill you, too, especially if you try and force your body to adapt to it faster than its ready for,” Bones said.  “Why would you even want to do this now?  Your crew is still safe aboard the Enterprise.  Even if this Away Team died, Jim included, Spock would make sure to continue the mission to find you all a home.  Throwing away your life now makes no sense.”

"Doctor, my body has already been forced to endure far more painful and chaotic diseases at the hands of Admiral Marcus and his scientists. I have survived those, I will survive this. But as it is, things are moving too slowly." Khan's tone grew a little firmer now, "I do not wish Captain Kirk to lose any more of his crew, if I can do something to save them. I do not want him to lose his own life, again, because of me." Khan glanced back over his shoulder briefly, then to McCoy once more, this time quietly. "I owe all of you a great deal. I owe you saved lives, for the ones I took. I have no doubt that my people will remain safe, regardless of my actions here. So let me help make _your_ people safe."

“You’d have to beam back up to the Enterprise,” Bones said and scowled at both Khan and himself.  “You would leave Jim on his own and worried about you, on top of everything else.  You’d have to tell him, or else lie through your teeth.  And he’d know.  After all this, do you really believe he’d want you to risk your life this way?  At the very least, you have to tell him first.”  Bones lifted his chin defiantly to the augment.  “Tell him what you want to do and then get back to me.”

Khan knew that he could lie very efficiently to Kirk, but also knew that was not what he wanted to do. "I understand." He said, accepting that if he did this, it meant leaving Kirk to be cared for by the nurses on the planet and not being there for him in person as they had both come to be familiar with. "Thank you for listening to my suggestion, Doctor." Khan then turned his head towards the tent, considering his position, "No doubt, I will speak with you shortly." He said, then headed back towards the shelter.

Bones sighed once and then continued his rounds of the Away Team’s makeshift base hospital.

Jim looked up as Khan re-entered the tent, eyes wide with curiosity about his discussion with Bones.  “Is everything all right?” he asked, reaching out for Khan.  “You’re not feeling worse are you?”

Once more, Khan sat with the younger man, hand sliding up his front, taking the opportunity to touch him while he could. "No Jim, not feeling worse." He said, kissing the side of his face lightly before pulling his head back to look him in the eye as they spoke. "I was speaking with Doctor McCoy about how I might be of further use to him, before another life is lost."

“Further use to him?” Jim asked, searching Khan’s face for clues to what he meant.  Although he had a very uncomfortable feeling what it might be.  “Please explain what you mean, Noonien.”  He deliberately slipped to the informal to inform Khan of his worry, as opposed to taking a Captain’s position of demanding answers.

Khan knew what Kirk was doing, and even appeared quite touched by it as he folded his hands in his own lap before he began to speak. "The virus is moving too slowly in my body to provide Doctor McCoy with a useful antivirus. I believe that if I trigger the virus in a lab setting, I can offer a solid solution that will end all of this." It was the most direct, kind way Khan felt he could address the subject; he would have this conversation with honesty and logic, but also with more then a little bit of love and devotion.

“And what does trigger the virus in a lab setting mean exactly?” Jim asked, suspicious and not bothering to hide it.  “Don’t doublespeak me, Noonien.  I want to know what’s going on in that overly developed brain of yours.”

Seeing that being careful with the subject was not what Kirk wanted, Khan adjusted his approach, being direct and almost sterile about it. "It means, I would go to the Enterprise under full quarantine and inject myself with a more concentrated version of the virus. After forcing my cells to adapt and produce the necessary antibodies and immunity, that blueprint can be used to save everyone else before this escalates any further."

Jim stared at him and said, “Yeah, that’s what I thought you meant.  I’m not really digging that plan much.  There’s no guarantee that your immune system will be able to combat a concentrated version of the virus.  You’re keeping up with it now, but you haven’t managed to to fight it off completely.   The cost of finding a cure for the virus shouldn't be you.”

"Yes, Doctor McCoy said something similar." Khan mentioned. "Jim-" He said, expressing familiarly instead of being formal, or impersonal. "I have survived concentrated versions are far more deadly plagues and viruses. I will survive this one, too." He said, entirely confident in this fact. "As it is, finding the cure is currently coming at the cost of watching you and your crewmen slowly suffer, until the fever destroys the body and brain." Khan had no desire to watch Kirk and his crewmen die around him, especially not when he could do something about it. "Whereas if I do this, it comes at the cost of me being uncomfortable and irritated for a few hours until my body establishes immunity."

“You’ve been uncomfortable and irritated for days,” Jim said, “and it hasn’t helped you fight off the virus.”  He sighed and pulled himself upright to tug at Khan gently.  “This is not what I want for you to do, Noonien.  Not if there is a chance of it endangering you.  Is there any other way?  Some other way to use your blood?”  He stroked over Khan’s fine chest and abdomen.

Khan lowered his gaze, watching the hand on his chest, breathing steadily under it, and even smiling a little at remembering how it felt to have Kirk sleep on top of him. Covering his hand, Khan held it for a moment before guiding it up higher on his chest, square and center, just under his collar bone. "I will not be in danger, Jim. I will be in pain." He said, knowing that did not sound any better. "But a tolerable experience, compared to watching you die." Khan then bowed his head, guiding the hand against his face, leaning against the touch, asking for this kind of intimacy. "This is the solution I know how to offer."

“You really want to do this?” Jim asked, caressing the fine cheekbones and then cupping his face.  “You want to take a chance on not surviving, on being in pain, for my crew?  For me?”  He leaned in to press kisses to Khan’s face, over soft skin and to an ever softer mouth, but one that was talented and wanted.  

"Yes." Khan said, giving a simple response that answered the questions posed to him equally. He sat there a moment, letting Kirk touch and kiss him, his heart fortified with the knowledge that Kirk truly did care for him. After a moment, Khan leaned forward and began to kiss back, parting his lips with his tongue, moaning softly into his mouth. But before he worked himself up too much, Khan took a breath, pulling back just enough to make Kirk look him in the eyes. "I am still under your command, Captain." He said at last, "Will you allow me to do this?"

Jim hung his head and then rested his head against Khan’s left shoulder, sighing softly.  “I don’t want to allow you to do this.  I really, really want to order you not to ... but at the same time, you want this, so I don’t want to tell you no.”  He lifted his head and looked into those strange, ice eyes, before huffing a soft breath.  “You can’t ask Bones for help.  He can’t be a part in hurting you.  He hates himself enough for what he took from you before.”

"I understand, Captain." Khan said with a single nod. "The decision is my own. The experiment is mine to conduct, for success or failure. Any pain I endure will be at my own hands, and not because I am a Starfleet test subject." He said, making it clear that McCoy, Kirk, the Enterprise, or Starfleet would in no way be held accountable for this; unlike last time. "I want to do this for you, and your people, Captain. Saving you, is what I was meant for." He added with a little smile, wanting Kirk to understand him.

“Not what you were meant for,” Jim said and thumbed over Khan’s lips.  “You were meant for so much more than suffering, even for us.”  He kissed him again, soft and sweet.  “But I won’t order you not to do this, if it’s what you really want.  But I’m going back to the Enterprise with you and staying in confinement with you.  You shouldn't be alone, and you might need help.”

It was strange to hear someone, even someone as good as Kirk, assure him that he could be more than what he was originally designed for. Though in the time Khan had come to know Kirk and his crew, he had come to understand just that; he could be something other, something outside the pre-approved lines of his breeding and training. It was a notion he was still adapting to and evolving with.

Though one thing was still very strong in his mind, this was for the good of the unit, this would save the only tangible member of his family, this would save Kirk. Except then Kirk insisted on coming along. "I do not want to endanger you." He said, large hands slipping down to his thighs, pressing, then remaining still before he added, "Though selfishly ... I do not want to be alone."

“And I don’t want to endanger you, but you’re going out of your way to endanger yourself,” Jim said.  “I won’t have you left alone while you conduct experiments on yourself that will injure you.  I may not be of much use, but at least I can be there.”

"Thank you, Captain." As capable as Khan was to work independently, self driven, focused without distraction, he was thankful to not be alone this time. "I will inform Doctor McCoy of the final decision."

“I’m not just speaking as a captain,” Jim said quietly.  “I hope you realize that.”  He sighed and rubbed a hand over his head, wiping away some of the sweat.  “We’ll talk to Bones.  I want to hear all of this out.”

"Yes, I know." Khan said gently, quiet for a moment, just watching the man in front of him. He was glad Kirk could see that this was the right thing, and that in his efforts to do good, Kirk was supporting him, and would be by his side. "I'll contact him." He said, not feeling Kirk was in a strong enough state to walk across camp to look for McCoy with him. "Here, have a few sips." He reminded him, handing Kirk a bottle of water before retrieving the communicator. "Khan to Doctor McCoy. Would you come to Captain Kirk's tent, please."

“I’ll be there in a few moments,” Bones answered, sounding a little weary.  “I’ve nearly finished my rounds.”  The communicator clicked off.

“Poor Bones,” Jim said, sipping his water.  “I always make him sound like that.”  He looked at Khan and said, “By the way, if Bones doesn't buy that this’ll work, I’m not going to just approve it.  I know you want to help us, but I won’t risk your life for nothing.  I will ask him, though, if he can let Nurse Chapel help you.  She’s amazing.  Don’t know why she hasn’t decided to just become a doctor herself.  I’m glad I persuaded her back to the Enterprise.”  He looked faintly embarrassed.

"The help is a kind offer, though unnecessary." Khan said, a part of him clearly still quite stubborn and very confident in his own abilities; generally, rightly so. "I would not want any of your people to feel accountable for something that is ... essentially ... executed by my own hands."

“So’s your offer to be a human guinea pig,” Jim pointed out and finished the water, quietly acknowledging to himself that he felt like crap.  “And you’re not going to take it back just because of that.  Anyway, we won’t force her to do anything, just ask if she’s willing.”

Taking the empty water bottle back, Khan set it aside on the floor. Usually he always tried to fill it up within a few minutes of Kirk finishing it, but not if they were going to abandon camp and leave for the Enterprise. Reaching forward, Khan took Kirk by the hand, just to hold while they still had a few minutes of privacy. "Lay back, save your energy, Jim. I won't leave without you."

Jim ran a thumb over the back of Khan’s hand, even as he lay back down with a sigh.  “I hope she says yes.  I may not have enough energy to keep a proper eye on you.  But you better not plan to be anywhere but beside me if you start to get ill.”

They could hear the sounds of Bones approaching, his grumpy voice as he consulted with Dr. M’Benga, who had beamed back down to take over keeping watch on the campsite.

Khan just nodded, though felt Kirk would be too feverish to really be aware of how ill Khan got. Still, he lifted his hand and kissed his knuckles, showing respect and affection before letting go, both men now keeping their hands to themselves. "I will not be able to care for you as I have been, so perhaps if nothing else, she will look after you."

“I’ll miss having you taking care of me,” Jim said softly and then turned and eased himself upright, as Bones re-entered.

“So, has Mr. Singh talked you into letting him act as a test subject?” the doctor asked without preamble.  “I do think it only fair to add that two other away team members are starting to show dangerous spikes in temperature and prolonged bouts of incoherency.”

“Fuck,” Jim muttered and then nodded.  “Yeah, I’m allowing Mr. Singh to go ahead, as long as you tell me, Bones, that there’s a chance his experiments might help.”

Bones nodded and said, “Honestly, I can’t tell you it won’t, Jim.  And even though I don’t like the idea, he did suggest it, and we need help.  I’m not too proud to admit it.”

Khan looked between both men, meeting their eyes each in turn. "Thank you for your concern, gentlemen. But I promise, I can help you, now that you are allowing me the opportunity." Khan stood, "Please. Doctor. Captain. The sooner, the better. Let me help your people."

“I’ll return to the Enterprise and have a sterile and isolated space set-up for your immediate use,” Bones said.  “Use one of the PADDs to provide me a list of what you need.”  He gestured toward the two that Jim had been using to keep up-to-date with ship activities.  “I’ll talk to Christine and the other nurses about getting you someone to help out.”

Jim relaxed a little at the mention and smiled at Bones.  “Also, I’m going back up with him.  And don’t you scowl at me, Bones.  I’ll stay out of the way.  I just want to be moral support, unless I can actually lend a hand.”

"Thank you, Doctor." Khan said, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to do. He did not bother to argue against Kirk coming with them, they had agreed on it privately, and he was still Captain, also. Taking up one of the PADDs, Khan began to draw up the initial list of equipment he would prefer to use, though also made notions of acceptable second choices. "This should get me started-" He said, talking himself through it.

Bones sighed and nodded once.  “I know better than to argue with stubborn mules, of which another has been added to this crew.”  He glanced at Khan.  Honestly, though, he liked the idea of having Jim aboard, where he could keep a closer eye on him.  He took Khan’s list and said, “I’ll get this started.  If you think of anything else, let me know.”  He glanced at Jim, eyes warm.  “Keep resting.  I’ll communicate with you before we’re ready to beam you up.”

Jim smiled and said, “Thank you, Bones.”  He watched his friend go with a fond expression and then leaned back down against the bed.  His eyes turned toward Khan, and he reached out for him again.  “Come here,” he invited softly.  “Before we have to go back to the Enterprise, and you turn yourself into a lab rat.”

Khan tilted his head slightly, finding it curious that McCoy would call him a part of the crew. Was that how he was regarded? Certainly not by everyone, but it was an intriguing notion. He was one of them, now? Khan sat once McCoy was gone, sitting on the edge of the cot at first, then lowered himself further down to lay out on his side. "It won't be long now, before we can all move on from this." He said, wanting to look forward.

“You’re being an optimist,” Jim said and rolled in to press close to Khan, smiling at him.  “Why, Khan Noonien Singh, I didn’t think you had it in you.”  He made the words teasing, so as not to offend, but was truly pleased by the augment’s decision to look at things in a positive light.  “I think that deserves a reward.”  

"Is that what you call it?" Khan huffed, breathing out of his nose sharply. But the fondness was there, as he leaned in and kissed Kirk along his neck, lightly at first before he started to lick at the warm skin, dragging his tongue, cool in comparison, against the salty taste of the other man. "... or is this not what you had in mind?" He prompted with a little smile.

“Mmm, feels like a reward for me,” Jim said, “but if it’s what pleases you ... do continue.”  He tucked his head to the side to let Khan have access to even more of his skin.  “I’ll gladly take off a few layers, too.”  A cheeky grin was hidden by the pillows and Khan’s hair, where Jim pressed his head.

"As if I would take advantage of you in this state." Khan said, shifting so that their legs were twisted together. He dragged his tongue across the mortal, delicate surface of Jim's neck, licking and kissing with a purr. Slowly however, he pressed his hand under the hem of Kirk's tunic, just enough to palm his stomach and feel around to his side. "After all of this, I would like to give you my full attention."

“Take advantage, nothing,” Jim muttered into the pillow, loving the drag of rough tongue over his sensitive skin.  He lifted his head when Khan’s hand snuck on to the skin of his abdomen and asked in a low tone, “And what does your full attention consist of?  I imagine it’s pretty intense ... since everything about you is.”

Khan purred and lifted his head just enough as well to look into the blue eyes before him. "For a start- to explore your body with my hands and with my mouth without needing to rush. To find those spots that give you pleasure and those that only give you pleasure when it is at the hands of your lover. I want to watch you, and hear you in a natural state ... and not when you are trying to impress me." He smiled and then kissed him on the mouth, sucking lightly at his lower lip.

Jim moaned into the kiss and tightened his hold around Khan’s back, one hand pressing deep into the black locks, making a carefree mess of them.  “Good plan,” he murmured, scraping his teeth over Khan’s lower lip.  “Might be hard to keep me from trying to impress you, though.  I want to, so much.”  He wrapped a leg around Khan’s left hip, pulling him closer.

"You do, let me assure you. I would not be with you otherwise." Khan said, arching his neck to kiss him much harder, pushing his head back into the pillows. He grinned devilishly at Kirk, "Now then- what would your good friend the Doctor say if he beamed us into isolation, just as we are?" Khan wrapped one arm under the small of Kirk's back and the other just behind his neck, hugging and pressing their bodies together.

“He’d probably roll his eyes, groan and say, ‘Really, Jim?’” Jim said with a laugh.  He skimmed his lips over Khan’s face and neck.  “And I would wink and say, ‘You better believe it!’”  He rubbed a little more suggestively against Khan, enjoying how tightly the augment held him.  “I’m not going to hide from Bones.”

Khan smiled in good humour, though knew he certainly wasn't going to test this. He had no interest in making Kirk prove himself somehow, by being open with their evolved relationship among the crew. As far as they were concerned, Khan was still their prisoner, if albeit Kirk's frequent dinner guest and sometimes consultant in engineering or one of the labs. Anything else would remain private, intimate behind closed doors; and Khan understood that to be fair. "Wouldn't want you to get into trouble, that is all." Khan hummed, his heart beat picking up slightly as Kirk kissed him back.

“I really don’t care about that,” Jim said with a grin.  “But I’ll keep it under wraps.”  He stroked over Khan’s back and muttered, “I’m being cheated by all this material between us.”  His right hand snuck under the material of his tunic and caressed the skin he found there.  “Oh, there’s more of you.”   He finds Khan’s skin and touches with tender reverence and enjoyment.  “My Noonien.”

It only now occurred to Khan that Kirk was pushing to be close, because he perhaps thought they wouldn't survive. And so it was now, or never. On the one hand, Khan did not want to feed into this notion of doubt. They were going to be isolated on the Enterprise, Khan was going to force his body to come up with an immunity sequence, and they would all survive. Once better, they could enjoy being affectionate properly, without illness in the way. But on the other hand, Khan wanted Kirk to know, to feel, that his care for him was not conditional upon the quality of his health. He would kiss and touch him, whether he sported a great big smile, or blood and bruises.

"Jim." The augment groaned in a low purr. _My Noonien_ , sounded quite possessive to his ears. It was something he responded well to. Khan had never belonged to his former lovers, though they had belonged to him. That was simply how it was. But this was new. And this was exciting. "Very good." He said with approval, the corner of his lips curling upwards in a predatory smile.

Jim chuckled again and stroked the fine skin across Khan’s abs and sides, before saying, “I am very good.  But I tend to aim higher than that.  Extraordinary.  Amazing.  Or just, fuck, yeah, more.”  He nipped at the jut of Khan’s chin and then sucked there, knowing exactly how hard he could go without forming a bruise.  Although …

“How long do bruises last on your skin?  When you’re at full health, that is,” Jim asked, curious and making devious plans.  He loved biting and sucking hard enough to leave marks, but seldom got to indulge in those particular preferences.

"Hmm." Khan lifted his head, which initially appeared like a defiant act, though it also exposed his long neck and a few pulsing veins. "At full health, I am very difficult to bruise." He answered with a slow lick of his lips. "Very. Difficult." He said again, this time with a little smile. "I have never experienced such a mark for more than an hour, or two, at most." Khan clearly found the idea more than a little intriguing, as he rolled his hips down, rubbing himself against the inside of Kirk's thigh.

“A goal for later,” Jim said with great contentment and nibbled his way down that long neck.  He chewed playfully at a blue vein that featured prominently under pale skin.  “I’ll try it all over.  There’s so much lovely skin to explore.”  He slid his legs wider apart to allow Khan to take more pleasure against him.  The idea of the augment getting off from something as simple as this kind of pleasure thrilled Jim ... and turned him on.  He figured his old lovers must have been very skilled, the ones who kept him company when he was leader of a quarter of the Earth.  But he wondered if they were at all close to him, in any way that mattered.  

"I look forward to it." Khan said, letting the weight of his hips drop, resting comfortably between Kirk's parted thighs. "And you, Jim? Do you enjoy battle wounds earned between the sheets, or do you prefer not to carry such evidence?" He asked as the pad of his finger slid over his nipple in one direction, then with the side of his nail in the opposite.

“I don’t really view them battle wounds,” Jim said, “more as evidence of pleasure being had by both parties.  And as such, I’m rather fond of them.”  He arched his back slightly and hummed contentedly at the sparks along his nerves.  “I presumed a man like you would enjoy marking his lovers.  Insist on it even.”  He traced the length of Khan’s spine with playful fingertips, the other still exploring what he could reach of Khan’s skin, evening trying a bit of tickling around his stomach.

"I admit, there is great satisfaction in knowing that I have left my mark upon you, even when I am not with you." With a slow arch of his back as Kirk pet along his spine like a cat, Khan reflexively dug his fingers in slightly. They had come quite close to it before; only for Kirk to realize just how serious and intense and possessive Khan was about the whole process. He had not been ready for it then, but he seemed willing now. Pressing their lips together, Khan kissed with strong lips and a warm, probing tongue, getting Kirk to open his mouth to him.

Jim parted his lips unhesitatingly and sucked expertly and eagerly at Khan’s tongue, before scraping wicked teeth over it. He slid his hands both around to span Khan’s back, one inside on his warm skin and the other on the fabric of his tunic.  They were warm everywhere they pressed together, but only in the most pleasant of ways.  He finally nipped at Khan to let him know a breath was needed.

Licking his lips, savoring the taste that lingered on them, Khan nuzzled his nose against Kirk's neck. His hand slipped up and cupped the opposite side of his face, keeping him from turning away as he kissed his warm skin. "Jim." He said, feeling quite content as he began to snake his arms around him once more, drawing him in tightly. Though in his next breath, Khan rolled to one side, pulling Kirk with him until Khan was on his back and his young lover straddling his hips. "I do not know how much time we have, but I want you to lay with me like this- and kiss, until our lips are too numb to do anything else."

Jim breathed in deeply, enjoying the masculine scent of Khan, as strong as the rest of him.  His hands rested on Khan’s shoulders, and he gazed down at his lover intensely, eyes warm and aroused.  “You want to make-out like teenagers,” he said, very much in favor of the idea.  “Have you ever done that, Noonien?  Just spend hours wrapped up with a lover, kissing merely for the sake of kissing?”

Khan eased his hold from around Jim's middle, resting his hands on his hips instead. "Teenagers?" Khan prompted, "Is that what they do? Is that what you did?" Having not been a teenager himself, nor having any sense of a childhood, he was understandably curious about this technique. "I would like to try that with you. I do not want to be rushed."

“Yes.  And yes.  And yes.  A world of yes, Noonien,” Jim said and leaned down to bestow a soft, teasing kiss to his mouth.  “And I still do ... and will, with you.”  He stretched out over him and melded their lips, intense and demanding.  His tongue tastes Khan and wiggles to be allowed entrance.  He asks the very alpha male, not demanding as he might with others.

With a low moan, Khan allows Kirk past his lips. Though once parted, his tongue is there to invite him further in, sucking at the tip with another softly pleased sound. Khan responds well to this sort of behavior, viewing it as how a pup might solicit the attention from the leader of his pack. And Khan, instead of being cruel with power, is kind and patient and affectionate to what he considers to be his.

Jim ignored everything except the kiss, putting all his formidable talent into the effort.  He stretched out more comfortably, allowing himself to put more weight on Khan, knowing the other man can hold him effortlessly.  His kiss turned more passionate, allowing him to show Khan the fun of making out.  Of course, the augment had a distinct advantage in breathing, so he parted their lips when his own need for breath outweighed his desire to just keep kissing his lover.  “Like that?”

"Yes-" Khan looked up, his eyes darting between focusing on Jim's formidable mouth and his bright eyes. He gave him a moment to catch his breath, but soon was reaching up to take hold of him by the back of his neck. Though he did not force for more, he did arch his neck up so that he could continue to kiss and gently bite along his jaw and down the front of his throat.

Jim shut his eyes and allowed himself to be gently mauled by Khan, enjoying the attentions.  He kept stroking Khan’s hair, working into his scalp and massaging expertly.  He thought the augment would appreciate the touch.  “Kiss me again,” he murmured, angling his head down again to get to Khan’s lips.

Tilting his head into the highly skilled fingertips, Khan purred low and deep in his chest. Though much of his mind was already on the task he was about to undertake, this helped distract and calm other parts of his brain. "Happily." Khan said, eyes closed, not needing sight to find each others lips again. They kissed again, savoring the taste as he sucked on Jim's tongue.

Jim allowed himself to be lost in the kisses, the glorious feel of a strong lover stretched out beneath him.  He forgot for a little while their current predicament, his own illness held at bay only by the barest of margins.  There were only his fingers in Khan’s hair and against his scalp, still massaging and caressing, only the sweetness of his lips and tongue and only the headiness of his presence and musk.  Or maybe that was his brain spinning as their mouths and tongues moved together.  He parted for a breath, merely a sip of air, before inviting Khan to lead a kiss this time, lips gentle against his.

Blinking slowly, Khan fixated on Jim's mouth, the muscles along his jaw, the subtle pout of his lower lip, and the stubble that was just starting to come through. Khan thumbed across his lips and jaw, before resuming his hold against the back of his neck. The corner of his lips curled into a small smile before they kissed again. At first, it almost seemed shy, despite the fact that they had already been kissing for some time, but in the second it was much stronger, very bold as if trying to make a point; Khan wanted this, he wanted Jim Kirk very badly, not just now, but for many nights to come, he wanted to share his bed and be the one who enjoyed his mouth. Khan had made his choice with Jim, and though he did not expect the same from Kirk, he was searching, hungry for any hope that the feeling was mutual.

Jim moaned softly into that demanding mouth, answering the near desperation he sensed there with instinctive gentleness.  He wanted to soothe whatever drove Khan’s actions, try to answer the need there, even though he didn't fully understand the cause.  His hands roamed even more freely over Khan’s arms and sides, before one took hold of the back of his head again.  When his lips parted from the other man’s, he whispered, “All right?”

"Yes, Jim." Khan answered in such a way that sounded like he was still addressing him as Captain, but still treating him as a lover. He nuzzled their lips together, kissing lightly a few times but did not push to deepen it. Instead, he rested his head back with a sigh, fingers playing with the short blond hairs at the nape of his neck. "Please, just lay with me a moment." He said, wrapping his free arm around the center of Jim's back to hold him close.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jim promised and began to press kisses over his face, a romantic gesture that was unusual for him.  But the whole situation was unique and Khan unlike any other lover in Jim’s life.  He wanted to give him more and felt that Khan needed it, as well.  Then he rested his head on Khan’s shoulder, tired.  “Is it a strain to hold me?” he asked, just wanting to be sure.

"Not at all." Khan said softly, rolling his head to the side to press his nose against the top of Jim's head, soft hairs still damp with sweat, but Khan did not mind. He kissed the top of his head, in a way thanking Kirk for giving him this private moment. He was not looking forward to revisiting the torture of enduring and fighting off disease and plague in a lab, though at least this time it was by his own hands and not that of someone else. "Never." He added unnecessarily, giving a squeeze of his body as if to prove it.

“I still don’t like this, Noonien,” Jim said.  “If things go south ... we don’t have any way to help you.”  He shivered a little at the idea of the augment dying in vain, never having seen his family go free.  And that brought up something unpleasant.  If Khan did die, would his people listen to the crew of the Enterprise?  Would they be able to adapt without their leader?  He blew out a soft breath, knowing now was not the time to bring this up. After they were well again or if Khan’s situation did become dangerous.  Not that Jim wanted to think about that.

He curled to press a little more against Khan, wondering at how nice it felt to have a lover strong enough to hold him like this.  He had held woman in similar ways before, but not for any length of time.  And Jim could not have trusted any other male lover who had been strong enough the way Khan was.  

"I know." Khan said, keeping his hands on Jim. "But I can not sit and watch you and your crew die one by one." Though technically it would be quite easily for him to do just that if his heart were still cold and angry towards humanity. Thankfully that was no longer the case. He had no doubt that he would survive, and no doubt that he would produce a cure for McCoy to use. And if by some reason, by his own hands, he made a mistake and failed, he equally had no doubt that Kirk would see that his people were safely relocated.

“And your desire to help is as compelling a reason to me as any,” Jim admitted.  “I do not know how you will feel, but I admit to a certain pride at that.  And certainly more gratitude than I can express.”  He reached out to grab one of Khan’s hands and moved it further down his side, resting on his hipbone.  “And I intend to tell everyone, including Starfleet Command, about this.  Unless, of course, you do not wish me to.”

Pressing his wrist into Jim's hip bone, Khan rubbed back and forth before his fingers relaxed and held onto him there. "Not if you or Doctor McCoy will be reprimanded for allowing me access to lab equipment. Do what is right for your ship." He said, unsure of how he felt about Starfleet being informed about his choice in this matter; he doubted it would change their view of him, but it was Kirk's decision to make. "I-" Khan frowned slightly, worried that Kirk would not like what he had to say, even though it was honest. "I have taken many lives from the Federation. And saving a handful here will not make up for that. But I am capable of being more then one thing."

Jim considered the whole proposition for a moment, looking at Khan intensely.  “I think it’d be worth it for Starfleet to know that you no longer view lives as expendable.  Especially if in the future you do desire to keep contact or need any assistance.  Your efforts to help us should also be applied in your favor.”  He lightly caressed Khan’s cheek and then settled again, eyes half-shut.  

Khan nodded, letting their heads rub slightly. He was consenting to what Kirk thought was best. Khan had helped members of the Enterprise with small projects, and would be saving lives, but he felt a few marks in his favor were hardly enough. It never would be enough; though that was not stopping him from taking action now.

"Have a rest, Captain." Khan said, petting his hand up Jim's back, enjoying how it felt to have the other man lay against him in his arms. "Things will not be so calm once I get started."

“There are so many things I would prefer to be doing, besides falling asleep on you,” Jim grumbled, “but I am so damned tired.”  He yawned and allowed himself to close his eyes, trying to do as Khan requested.  There would be much to do when Khan, and Jim wanted to be of use.  What with being sick himself, Jim would need to preserve some strength for the effort.  “You better think of some ways I can help you or I will be pestering you about it,” he mumbled, feeling himself start to drift off.

"Being at my side, that will help." Khan said, kissing the top of his head a few times before just letting his lips linger, pressed against his hair with a pleased sigh. "I will tell you what I need. For now- rest, lay with me." He said, petting his hand down Jim's back, watching and listening to his body succumb to the need to sleep.

 


	11. Back to Health

Dr. McCoy checked on Jim’s vital signs with a grim expression, not hiding the worry he felt for his best friend.  After working with Khan for about a day on his experiments, Jim’s illness took a turn for the worse, and he headed into the delirious phase, beyond the reach of all Bones’ medicines and skills.  His team had progressed with their anti-viral, but not enough to help Jim now.  Other members of the Away Team were also critical, and they’d lost another just a few hours prior.  After seeing Jim die once, Bones was determined not to lose him again.  So, breaking his own personal morals, he had begun assisting Khan with his experiments, hoping the augment might be able to save the life of his best friend.

Not that the augment was at his best.  Not with an accelerated version of the virus singing through his systems.  But he was definitely toughing it out, and Bones couldn’t help but admire him (and be thankful) for his strength.

Khan had taken the passing of another crewmen quite hard. He had given himself a timeline to achieve his goals, but even with pushing himself, it had not been enough to save another life. Things had escalated quickly, because now Kirk appeared to be in his final stages; he and the others needed a solution, _now_.

Sitting on a stool beside the lab table, Khan sat slouched forward, left arm resting on the edge of the counter with three self administered intravenous needles sticking out, tubes slowly pulsating as they delivered fluid into his body. It burned. Every vein, from his arm outward, had risen to the surface, dark red and purple, shattering his pale skin like broken glass. Unsurprisingly, Khan had developed additional symptoms, ones that the human immune system had yet to live long enough to experience. His skin was more then just hot to the touch, after administering a wet towel to help soothe his nerves, the moisture had literally boiled off into vapor before his and the nurse's eyes. And more then once Khan had lost consciousness for a few minutes without consenting to it.

For now, he sat red eyed with his focus on the computer screen before him, right hand typing and imputing data as he looked for the right spike in his reading. But it seemed that the further his immunity was pushed, the more the virus adapted. However, Khan was not one to be defeated, and certainly not to a few complex cells under a microscope.

"Doctor." Khan barely managed to speak, "how does this one look?" He asked, unable to proof check his own work any more. He couldn't trust his vision or his line of thought half the time, so he often saved his work whenever it seemed relevant to his otherwise formidable mind and shared it with the medical staff to make sure he was still on the right track; not wanting to accidentally ignore the right answer.

Dr. McCoy moved over to Khan’s side and looked over the readings, a smile of relief finally breaking through the grimness.  He patted Khan’s shoulder once, careful of his sickness, and said, “That’s closer.”  He paused and frowned at the readings.  “Close enough that we might be able to slow the process with some of this.”  He glanced back at Jim.  “Anything that’s going to give them extra time is good.”

He carefully extracted some of the recent white blood cells from Khan’s arm and then added, “And it’s time for you to get a little more rest.  I know you don’t want to, but you’re about to collapse again.  Jim’s always a bit easier when there’s someone nearby, too.”

Closer wasn't good enough. But last time he had slipped unconscious, he had violently torn out his needles during a seizure. If he took a few minutes now, he could let this pass and then get back to it. "Computer. Fifteen minute alarm. Start." He ordered, which the computer chimed back to confirm and began to silently count down the time on his behalf.

Standing, Khan blinked slowly as he shuffled over to one of the medical beds. He laid out on his side, facing Kirk. He couldn't rest, but he was still desperate for the company, even though Kirk was unresponsive. He was worried that he wasn't working fast enough. Sadly, it had been more efficient to be tied down and restrained by scientists under Admiral Marcus, pumped full of mutated cells and forced to survive high concentrations of dangerous diseases. But he couldn't do that here. He could only inject himself with so much before he lost control over his actions. And it was unfair to ask McCoy or any of his staff to do it to him. They were already breaking the rules as it was. Khan just needed the _moral_ path to still be the _right_ path, and without Kirk to tell him so, it was hard to know.

Jim sensed another presence through his drugged, fevered haze and shifted closer to the feeling.  He was lost in unpleasant dreams most of the time, but too weak to thrash or really react.  But this person next to him eased all of this, and so, he rested a bit quieter, breath deep and slow.

Dr. McCoy returned a few minutes before the alarm sounded on Khan, his teams reactions faster as the situation called for it.  And they are close now.  He said softly, “Mr. Singh, I’m going to give you something to alleviate the symptoms, same as before.  It won’t affect the virus, so your work will be unchanged.  And I’m giving Jim the latest version of the antiviral, which will hopefully ease his illness long enough for us to come up with the cure.”

Khan nodded his consent, accepting the hypospray with a gasp of minor relief. A cold, then hot chill shot through his back, shivering violently before he sat up and got off the medical bed. Though as he passed by Kirk, he touched a hand to his shoulder, giving a slight squeeze. Still, he couldn't risk allowing himself to be distracted. McCoy would take care of Kirk and the others, giving Khan time to continue.

Returning to the lab table, Khan blinked a few times, his focus coming easier to him for a moment. So he returned to his work while his head was clear enough to allow it. Resting his left arm on the table, Khan injected himself once, then twice, cringing through the burning feeling in his arm before his eyes returned to the computer screen.

Dr. McCoy gave Jim the latest antiviral as a gentle hypo to the neck and then spent a few moments monitoring his vitals.  He breathed out a deep sigh when Jim’s vitals stabilized a bit and the fever lowered.  He stroked his forehead and murmured, “Jim.”

The blond groaned a little and shifted under the touch.  “Khan?”

At the mention of his name, Khan looked up across the room, looking to Jim, then to McCoy. "Do not be offended." He said to the doctor, wanting him to dismiss the encounter. After all, Khan had been spending a great deal of time caring for him on the planet; he felt that McCoy needn't look into it any deeper than that. "Tell him I'm still here. Alive and working."

Jim heard and shifted a little toward them both.  “Bones,” he said and then turned a bit more to look at Khan.  “Khan.  What- how is it going?”

Bones looked over at Khan and frowned, but said in an even tone, “This latest antiviral still isn’t the answer, but may buy some more time for everyone.”  He squeezed Jim’s shoulder gently and headed for the augment, looking over the readings.  “You are alive and working,” he said, so only Khan could hear, “but your vitals are not stable.”

Glancing to McCoy out of the corner of his eyes, Khan nodded slightly. "I've nearly saturated my system, and yet the virus continues to evolve." Khan would call it engineered, except there was no concrete evidence of it; other then the fact that only an engineered immunity seemed to have any chance at withstanding it. "If I continue on this course, I will have more seizures and blackouts ... you will need to take over ... someone will," he amended, knowing the stipulation about keeping McCoy from participating, "when I can no longer go through the motions on my own."

“We won’t help along your death,” Bones hissed, still keeping his voice low, not wanting to further upset Jim.  “You need to stop this for awhile and let your systems catch up.  Let us keep working, too.”

Jim frowned and began to struggle up, wanting to know what was going on, despite his weakened state.  “What’s going on over there? Bones?  Khan?  I’m ordering you to tell me.”

Khan raised an eyebrow as McCoy insisted that he take more of a break. "Doctor-" He began, quite prepared to argue the point that his work will be of little use if everyone else dies before he manages a solution; he didn't have time for breaks, or moderation, they needed the solution yesterday.

Though as Kirk continued to try to involve himself, Khan gave a little huff. "I am not very good with orders." He grumbled, looking to the computer screen. "This isn't progressing fast enough." But even so, Khan sat back, folding his hands in his lap to keep from navigating any more buttons on the console. "How long do you want me to rest? An hour?" He asked, clearly planning the next several phases in his mind.

Jim hauled himself up, with Bones there to support him, knowing better than to argue with his foolish friend.  He headed over to Khan and looked over his shoulder at the readings.  “How close are you, Khan?” he asked, knowing the augment would give him a clear answer.

"Nine hours at most, Captain." Khan answered, attempting to sit up a little straighter, not wanting it to show how much he was being effected. Thankfully Kirk had slept through some of his more violent episodes, only McCoy and his nurses had seem him fight through several rounds of severe fever. "But my concern is your crew does not have that long. Four hours is my goal."

Jim looked at Bones and asked, “Will he be all right for another nine hours, Bones?”

The doctor’s face pinched a little, as he looked over the augment.  “His body is overly stressed, Jim.”  He felt his friend shift to lean even more weight on him.  “But if we keep an eye on his vitals and make sure he rests if things take an further, swift downturn, then I guess he can go on.  But I don’t like it.”

“You don’t have to, Bones,” Jim said.  “Khan, will you promise to rest, if Bones asks you to again?”

"Not if I am close." Khan answered honestly. He would press on, make the hard decision and keep going; he was not doing this for the fun of it. As distasteful as McCoy and Kirk and the rest might find it, Khan was not about to let up. "But I will abide to reason, Captain. Doctor." He said, looking briefly to each in turn.

Jim sighed and rolled his eyes at Khan’s stubbornness, even though he understood it very well.  “Bones, take care of Khan, even against his own desires, if necessary.  But for his best interests, even if that’s a difficult choice.”  

Bones said, “I’ll do the best I can for you all, Jim.  You know that.”  He looked over at Khan.  “And anything we can do to speed up the process.”

“I’d like to sit with Khan, if I can for awhile,” Jim said and moved toward the chair next to him, where he’d spent a lot of time before getting too sick to do so.

"Doctor McCoy and his medical team have been very attentive, Captain." Khan said, wanting Kirk to know that they were already doing what they could to take care of him in this awkward situation. But as Kirk sat down next to him, Khan attempted to smile a little, glad for his company. However, Khan did not allow his attention to linger on the other man for very long, as he turned his eyes back towards the computer display, testing a few concepts in simulation to get his body to match the virus on every level.

“I’ll be watching your lifesigns, too,” Bones told Jim seriously.  “You’ll be heading back to rest, too, if they start taking a downturn.”  He looked back to Khan and said, “Nurse Chapel is still available to help you, if you want.  I’d recommend it, if you want to get this done in four hours.”

“She is the best,” Jim said, looking embarrassed again.  He offered a small smile for Khan, hoping that his support was at least comforting.

"I may require another set of hands in a few minutes, any assistance Nurse Chapel is willing to give would be appreciated." Khan said, while managing to draw out a fresh blood sample from his arm and set up a new slide for it, leaning forward to look at it under the microscope, comparing it to one from twelve hours previous.

Bones nodded and said, “She’ll be with you in a minute then, Mr. Singh.”  He gave Jim a significant look and then disappeared out of the room, heading for the main lab, where they were also continuing to work.

Jim looked to Khan, knowing that the augment was too busy to want to talk about anything.  He leaned in to try and offer some sort of companionship and then shut his eyes to rest a little more.  Even with the latest antiviral, he felt exhausted and slightly loopy.  His dreams had been disturbed, so that even the sleep he had been getting didn’t offer much rest.  And he was tired of being so hot all the damn time.  It was the first time he’d thought of an Iowa winter with any kind of longing.

At first, Khan tried to ignore the distraction of having Kirk at his side. But after a few minutes, Khan gently nudged their shoulders together with a little smile. "It's alright, Jim." He said quietly, voice strained and raw, and yet not lacking in authority. "You don't need to stay up with me."

Jim opened both eyes and offered a weary, but real, smile for the other man.  “I’m not staying here because I need to.  I’m staying here because I want to.  I can’t offer any useful help right now, but at least I can offer some support.  Unless you don’t want me here.’

"I-" Khan smiled a little, then lightly pressed his lips to Kirk's temple. "Thank you." He said, keeping it simple. Of course he wanted him there, but he also felt some guilt for not being able to give Kirk the attention he had perhaps become accustomed to. Unable to stop now however, Khan turned his attention back to his microscope, then over to his computer display.

Jim shivered at the press of a kiss, the coolness on his forehead a distinct change from the heat everywhere else.  “Good then.  I’m staying until Bones or Nurse Chapel sends me away.  She might…”  He leaned in even closer, as Khan went back to work, worried and wishing he could do something to help.

Nurse Chapel chose that moment to bustle in, full garbed and carrying water for both men.  She distributed it and then asked Khan, “What can I do?”

"Nurse Chapel." Khan acknowledged the woman, turning in his chair to face her. "In a few minutes I wish to attempt a procedure that will require another set of hands. If you are willing to the task." He added, needing her to have a strong resolve, and stomach, for this sort of thing.

"I have ten shots that need to be administered within minutes of one another. I can start this process, but after a few, I may not have the cognitive ability to keep going. You must see it through for me, and ensure I do not pull out my monitors in the process ... I would hate for essential information to be lost simply because I go into a fit."

Jim startled up at that statement and asked, “Pull out the monitors?  Is there a danger to you or us from this, Khan?”

"As it has been from the beginning, the danger is to myself- but no more then it has been these last few hours already." Khan acknowledged before adding, "There should be no risk to either of you, however if you prefer, for everyone's safety and peace of mind, it is just as easy to continue while being restrained as well." Khan believed that was a decision for Nurse Chapel, since she was the one assisting him.

Jim nodded and said, “Thank you for answering honestly.”  He smiled at Nurse Chapel, professional and restrained.  “Please continue on, Nurse Chapel.”

Christine Chapel made a face at Captain Kirk that was professional and threatening all at once, before saying, “Whatever you require, Mr. Singh.”  She took position, ready to step in as soon as required.  

"Thank you." Khan said again, meeting her gaze, he could see she was strong to the task. Taking a moment longer to ensure all his prep work was in order one last time, which included having the computer record and save everything in real time. "Now, if I am unable to continue, you must ensure I receive the remainder of the shots within a minute of the last." He said, repeating himself because it was vital to the process.

Rolling a cart with the shots over to one of the medical beds, Khan sat on the edge, positioning himself reasonably away from more sensitive equipment and giving himself a somewhat safe place to collapse onto if it came to it. Once he was certain Nurse Chapel was ready, Khan began injecting himself in the arm. The first shot was slow going, a thick liquid that took time to dispense into his body. The result of which made his veins in his arms rise to the surface, dark red and nearly black in places, spreading out from the injection point, up his forearm and across his chest, finally peeking out from the hem of his shirt around his neck, climbing up through his neck and along the side of his face. Without a word, Khan reached for the second shot, injected himself with a sharp gasp, eyes down on his work until that too slipped from his fingers and he dropped it to the floor. The same was true for the third and forth, but by the fifth, Khan was visibly trembling, his hands no longer steady, so he had to jab himself several times to finish emptying the contents of the shot.

“Allow me, Mr. Singh,” Nurse Chapel said and took up the shots, even as Jim put a gentle hand on Khan’s back, concerned and not liking the way Khan trembled.  She took over the process, efficiently and carefully administering the rest of the shots.  She put each away carefully and did the same with the ones Khan had dropped.  Her eyes turned to the readings.  “Is there something more I may do?”

Khan however was in crippling pain by the time he was through all ten. His fingers were curled in tight around the edge of the bed, holding on in order to keep grounded, forcing himself to hold back and keep still. He did not want to let on how much it affected him, but as the last of his solution began to take hold of him, there was no amount of restraint possible to hold back his scream. Everything burned and his skin itched to the extent that he tore off his shirt and began to dig his nails into his skin for relief.

However, what Khan was going through was not in vain. His readings were extraordinary, his body was going to battle at full force, rather then the slow burn it had been over the last few days. Even though it meant experiencing symptoms the others had yet to survive, it was worth forcing it to play out all at once.

Khan crouched down near the floor, head bowed down, but arms up and hands still on the edge of the bed, trying to keep still again. His brain activity was dropping, but his heart rate was increasing. However, this last attempt to at least appear strong failed as he slipped unconscious, dropping back onto the floor, body seizing.

“Fuck!”  Jim yelled and dropped heavily to kneel at Khan’s side, hands reaching for his friend and lover.  “What’s happening?”

“Stay clear until he’s finished seizing,” Nurse Chapel ordered.  “Clear anything out of his way that he could injure himself of.”  She moved the chairs and eased the table away, as well, with Jim trying to assist her.  “Otherwise we have to wait out the seizure.”

Nurse Chapel looked over Khan’s readings and said, “His immune system is responding to the increased amount of virus he’s pumped into his system.  He’s overwhelmed himself, but there’s definitely antiviral present now.  When he’s stopped seizing, I can collect some.”  She called for Dr. McCoy.

Khan thrashed on the floor, then went limp quite suddenly. His head was tilted back, with his chest rising and falling with breath for movement. The black veins on his otherwise pale skin looked like cracks in antique porcelain, and now that he was still, hands clenched into fists at his sides, he quite resembled a statue that had fallen off its pedestal. Eyes closed, Khan was still unconscious, but his readings were more then promising. The battle had been won, finally, after being dragged out for far too long.

Dr. McCoy came in a second later and took over expertly, working to ease the augment’s pain and clean up the superficial wounds quickly and efficiently.  He collected the antiviral in Khan’s blood and sent Nurse Chapel off post-haste to Dr. M’Benga with it.  But he kept his focus on the fallen augment, aware of Jim hovering anxiously nearby.  “He’s going to be all right, Jim.  His immune system finally got it over on the virus.  He may look awful for a few days, but he’ll be as strong and obnoxious as ever soon enough.”

Jim smiled a little at Bones and put a gentle hand on one of Khan’s arms.  “He went through an awful lot to help the rest of us out.  When he started screaming, tearing at his shirt and chest …”  He looked grim because the sight had reminded him of some of the colonists on Tarsus, after they had gone crazed with hunger and fear.

“Now that he’s stopped seizing, we can get him on a biobed, too,” McCoy said.  “And you, now that this is over.  Stay with him, and I‘ll be right back.”

Jim nodded and watched Bones head out, before reaching to stroke through Khan’s hair, murmuring nonsensical words of comfort.

With a quiet groan of complaint, Khan forced himself to open his eyes, blinking several times before his focus was as sharp as it should be. Only to find that Kirk was with him, petting his hair, speaking to him. "Captain." He managed to hoarsely force out. He could not remember how it was he had come to be on the floor like this, but it was not that difficult to guess. Khan was only sorry that Kirk had seen him like this, unable to handle himself with proper restraint.

With a deep breath, Khan smiled a little, then relaxed. He could feel the difference, he knew it had worked. "Where is McCoy ...?" He asked, looking up at Kirk now, his worry directed to him. "What do my readings say? Does he know?"

“Jim,” he reminded the augment with a warm smile and then said, “Easy.  It’s all under control.  Bones’ll be back in a minute with a full team to move us both to the bio beds.  He already sent Nurse Chapel to Dr. M’Benga with the anti viral.  You did it.” He paused and frowned a little, adding, “Scared the hell of out me, too.  If Nurse Chapel hadn’t been here, I might have done something embarrassing.”

"Good." Khan said, easing back and resting his head in Kirk's lap once he was told that the medical team was all well aware of his success and working on synthesizing the anti-viral. Another deep breath and a soft hint of color returned to his face and lips, even though the black veins threaded across the surface of his skin had yet to fade right away. "I feel I have embarrassed myself enough for the both of us." He said, taking the time to take in the sight of Kirk now, observing his health and any indication that his safety had been compromised. "You are unharmed, I hope?"

“I can’t think of anything you need be embarrassed about,” Jim said.  “You made yourself grievously ill in a successful attempt to save other people.  And being sick means showing symptoms.”  He chuckled softly and said, “Not that I don’t know I’m being hypocritical ... I get embarrassed, too.”

He leaned in to kiss Khan softly, before saying, “You didn’t hurt anyone but yourself.  Now, we’re going to take care of you for a bit.  You’re looking better every moment, though.”

Bones returned a moment later, medical team in hand, and shooed Jim off to one of the nurses, before saying to Khan, “You look like you could still use a hand up.  We want to move you to one of the bio beds in here and keep an eye on your recovery.  It is a recovery.  The antivirals are 98 percent effective against the virus.  Thank you, Mr. Singh, for putting yourself through such torment to help us.”

Raising his hand to the center of his chest, Khan nodded once, acknowledging the thanks, but also returning it in his own formal way. He allowed the nurses take him by the arm and manhandle him to his feet without a fight, even though he generally did not like being touched in such a way. Once on his feet, Khan drew himself to his full height, not wishing to show any remaining signs of weakness, despite the fact that it would be a few hours, maybe days yet before he was at his full strength, completely recovered.

"Thank you." He said calmly to each of the nurses in turn, "And thank you, Nurse Chapel-" he said, singling her out, offering his hand, "For your steady hands and professionalism under pressure."

Nurse Chapel met his eyes with a professional, but not unfriendly, gaze and shook his hand firmly.  “It was an honor, Mr. Singh, to work with someone so willing to put his personal well-being behind that of others.  I admit to worrying that my own work may not have been ethical, but could not refuse a man who was so willing to lay himself on the line.”

Jim grinned a little, as he heaved himself on the biobed and was prepped for the dose of antiviral.  Chapel still didn’t think much of him, but he regarded it as a triumph that he had persuaded her back to the Enterprise.  Bones loved her, too.  Thinking of Bones…

“How is everyone else?” Jim asked, turning concerned eyes to his friend.

“They’re receiving their doses of the antiviral now,” Bones said.  “All the prep work meant that when we had the final version, we could give it immediately.  That’s going to save a few lives.  Everyone else, barring unforeseen complications, should pull through.”

Jim bopped him lightly on the shoulder in thanks and leaned back on the bio bed.  “Time for the Jim Kirk version of the anti viral?”

“Yeah, and just like before, it’s going to make it a little less potent.  You’ll get better, but it’ll take longer,” Bones said.

Jim made a face and said, “Well, what else is new.”

"I would not worry over ethics, all parties involved were consenting." Khan said, wanting her to be at ease, even if it took a little extra time. So he inclined his head politely before laying out on the bio bed, laying back with a deep sigh, arms at his sides, but head turned to watch Kirk receive his treatment.

A little smile crept into the corner of his mouth. He had saved lives, he had saved Jim Kirk. It was something tangible, the results of his efforts were visible. In a way, even though he had saved his own people, not being able to see them, to touch them or speak with them made it difficult to feel successful at all. He had saved them, but the final proof would be the day he could hold their hands and hear their voices again as they woke up. This situation with the crew of the Enterprise however was therefore quite satisfying in a way, he could hear and see those he had saved, he could be reassured of his value; he was strong enough still, to protect those who needed it. He could still do good things.

Jim noticed the smile and winked at him, even as Bones administered the drug with his usual touch.  “Ow!  Hey,” he griped, looking back at his friend.

“That’s for managing to get in danger again on an away mission,” Bones scolded, but his expression was light.

Jim mock-pouted and said, “You can’t blame this on me!  Everything looked fine.  The planet was beautiful!  We all seemed safe …”  

Khan watched the two interact, still curious as to how such a dynamic was possible. Though he did speak up in Kirk's defense. "The Captain is correct, there were no readings of any dangers in the atmosphere or plant and water sources. The crew of the Enterprise is fortunate that the away team did not return sooner, while the virus was still in its dormant stage. Your casualties could have been much worse."

Bones favored Khan with a look that said he didn’t think much of his interference, but there was no real heat behind it.  Really, he was just glad Jim was well enough to still grump at.  But to Khan, it must look like an unwarranted attack on his captain.

“Yeah, Bones, Khan’s on my side,” Jim said with a playful poke to his friend.  

Bones hmphed and said, “Well, the two of you will be at each other’s sides for a few more days, at least.  I expect Mr. Signh will be near to fully recovered by then and we’ll be more certain the antiviral will hold and they’ll be no relapses.  Until then, you’re both on bedrest, and I expect you to actually sleep.”

Still experiencing difficultly with understanding McCoy in the way he spoke with Kirk and how he looked at him sometimes, Khan looked away, head centered on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He reached down towards the half circle section of the bio bed that was at his feet, and pulled it up so that it hovered over his legs and across his hips, regulating the temperature so that he was neither chilled nor too warm.

“You got it, Bones,” Jim said and thumped him companionably again.  He laid back down and said, “And get some rest yourself.  You look like a zombie from one of the old holovids.”

Bones snorted and said, “Me?  You look like reheated roadkill, kid.”

“Hey!  I look amazing …”  Jim glanced down at himself.  “really?  Roadkill?”  

Bones shook his head and patted him lightly on the shoulder.  “You look alive, kid.  That’s all I care about.”

“Sap,” Jim shot back, but was obviously pleased.  “Go take a nap.”

Bones waved a hand at him dismissively and walked out of the room.

Jim turned his gaze back to Khan, bright and happy, even though he was still weak.  “Bet none of your crew ever talked to you like that, huh?”

"No." Khan turned his head back to the side to look at Kirk once McCoy was gone. "Never." He said, shifting to lay on his side, one arm under his head in place of a pillow. "I do not understand it." There was nothing playful about disrespect among his people, such things were only expressed if they were meant, if the feeling was genuine. It was not something to smile about.

“That’s all right.  Most people don’t,” Jim said.  “Bones and I, we’re different from almost anybody else.  We met at our lowest ebb, joined Starfleet together by the happiest of circumstances, and have been each other’s backboards ever since.  Only he shows it by grumping, growling and insulting, and I show it by refusing to take him seriously.  Except when it counts and then we both know we’re there for each other.  It’s probably stunted emotional growth or something, but it works for us.”

"Perhaps that is why I do not understand him." Khan admitted. Previously, he had been able to read Kirk and Spock and many others of the Enterprise crew, he understood their roles and how they would respond. But McCoy had been a surprise in the end. It had been the good doctor who had managed to deceive him, make him believe his people were dead. McCoy behaved in ways that Khan could never quite feel comfortable with. After all, the augment often showed similar irritability and growled as well, but when he did it, there was no sense of play behind it, as it was done in earnest. Concerned by this similarity, Khan pressed, "Do you take me seriously?"

“I know that you very seldom say things in jest or act in a manner that’s meant to deceive in the same way Bones does,” Jim said, looking at Khan with quiet amusement.  “However, I never take anyone completely seriously, no.  Especially people who don’t know how to laugh at themselves a little.  Doesn’t mean I think less of you or don’t know how to tell when things are in deadly earnest.  Does mean you’re going to be annoyed and confused by me a lot.  I say a lot of serious things in joking ways.  And very seldom say things seriously without joking it up somehow.  When I’m acting serious and being serious, that usually means things are going south fast.  Hell in a handbasketwise.”

"The weight of my words is never delivered lightly." Even with his attempts to be playful, with Kirk's encouragement. "But I accept that way of speaking is only found in Vulcans these days." So he would continue to attempt to adapt, though it was certainly not a way of behaving he could foresee his people adopting any time soon.

"Hell in a hand basket." Khan repeated back very quietly, mouthing the words. "That is a very old fashioned phrase." He smiled a little, enjoying that some things he was familiar with had not been completely lost over time.

“That’s not true,” Jim said, head turned to look at Khan.  “A lot of people consider me far too informal and flip for a Starfleet captain.  Or an office of any sort.  A lot of people have a hard time taking me seriously because I’m young and don’t have a solemn demeanor, the way Spock does.”  He frowned a little, eyes turned inward.  “Maybe I should work on that a little.  If you think I don’t take you seriously …”

"You do, when I am violent or threatening." Khan shrugged slightly, turning his face into the crook of his arm, half closing his eyes to give them rest from the lights. "Though- even when we made the jump through the debris field to board the Vengeance, you made light of the situation with jokes." Khan shifted on the bed, crossing one foot behind the opposite ankle. trying to find a comfortable position. "It is simply a difference between us, Captain, that is all. In this regard, I prefer structure and consistency." Even in anger, Khan felt his words could always be trusted. And it saved time if others behaved in a similar way.

“Well, I’m consistent,” Jim said with a grin.  “I’m consistently a pain in the ass.”  He didn’t like the implications of the first statement.  “You think I only take you seriously when you’re threatening or violent?  What about when I told you I understood how important a relationship beyond shipmates was to you?  And that I was willing to try anyway?  Was I not taking you seriously then?”

Opening his eyes, Khan stared at Kirk across the gap between their beds. "Yes Jim, thankfully you did, and have. But that has been a recent development between us, that is all I meant to imply. You have not responded to my gentle words before, not without some misunderstanding. But my harsh ones ... they are generally not dismissed."

Jim made a face and said, “Well, I’d like to hear more of your ‘gentle’ words in the future, and I’ll try to take them seriously.  Promise.”  He breathed out a small sigh.  “I could use some of those words now you know.”  His expression morphed into something warm.

"You are meant to be sleeping, Captain." Khan said, reminding him first of the orders McCoy had given them, before he added, "But the truth is, I much rather be able to hear your voice. It is reassuring ..." At least for now, Khan would not have to watch Kirk suffer through the illness or die in his arms. "I have grown quite accustomed to being at your side, Jim ... I will miss not being able to hold you in my arms every night."

“I’m sure we can work something out,” Jim said, studying Khan with a slight smile, which was genuine.  “You helped me sleep and rest when I was sick, and Bones can tell you that’s not easy to do.  I don’t sleep well as a general rule.”  His smiled widened.  “I guess I’m saying I’ll miss you, too, so I’m not going to allow it.”

"You are not going to allow my absence from your bed?" Khan pulled his head up, curious of the implications. He was not forcing himself, nor his company. Khan was still responsive to the authority Kirk held, and would abide by his decision, regardless of what it was. But he tilted his head to the side, awaiting clarification. Kirk could just as easily be saying that yes, he wanted this, but because he wanted it, that no, it wasn't something they would be allowed to indulge in. However that sort of self-denial seemed very unlike the young Captain Kirk he had come to know. Still, he would wait for consent.

“We’ll have to be a bit discreet, but after this, your part on this ship won’t be questioned again,” Jim said, reaching across the distance between their biobeds.  “I can’t move you out of the brig as your quarters without being questioned, but we can work something out otherwise.  And when you need or want a break from me, you can always sleep at your place.”

Bridging the gap between them, Khan reached out as well and took Kirk by the hand. Jim was offering quite a lot, giving up privacy and time to himself by making allowances for Khan to share his bed. "The same is true for you." He said, giving their hands a slight squeeze. Though he did hope that his company is preferred, then not. "The decision is entirely yours." As the risk was almost entirely Kirk's as well, even though the benefit was mutual. "Now, can you sleep? Or shall I join you?" He smiled a little, daring and bold in more subtle ways these days.

JIm glanced over his head at the medical  and said, “I’d love to have you join me, but it’s not possible.  I tried it once ... set off all the alarms as the biobed readings went wild.  If we turn them off, Bones will panic, and he wouldn’t be able to tell if anything went awry.  And I know you won’t let me jigger mine to read as being perfectly normal for the same reason.  So ... we’re stuck with holding hands across the divide for now.”  He rubbed his thumb over Khan’s knuckles.

"Then sleep, Captain. We are both in need of it." Khan said with a sigh, his focus dropping back to their hands locked together. At least they could look after one another like this, if one moved or suddenly became distressed, the other was right there, at their fingertips.

Jim snorted and said, “Wuss,” with a playful smile.  He shifted and shimmed until he could lay comfortably and keep hold of Khan’s hand.  “I look forward to both of us being well again.  For so many reasons.”

"Agreed." Khan said, resting his head back down on his arm. He gave another firm squeeze of their hands as if to be certain that Kirk was indeed safe. But shortly after doing so, his eyes finally closed, slipping into a very light, but much needed sleep. The last few hours had been particularly strenuous, and though his body was recovering, he had been unable to find much rest since all of this had started on the planet.

Jim watched as Khan drifted off and then shut his eyes for his own much deeper and longer, sleep.


	12. Another Try

Jim waited until the latest time of night and then strolled from his quarters to the brig in his non-regulation clothes.  He waved off the guard and listened for his exit, before calling, “Khan?  I hope you’re still awake in there.”

It’d been almost a month since the antiviral had been administered to the infected away team.  Everyone had taken some time to recover, with the exception of Khan, who had been back to normal in about a day.  Jim had, annoyingly, taken the longest, due to the adjusted nature of his antiviral injections.  But he was back on full, active duty at last, given a clean bill of health by Bones.  Which meant he was capable of more ... strenuous activities.  He’d still waited awhile for this, even though he’d made sure to visit Khan everyday and indicate that he still wanted their relationship.

"Captain." Khan emerged from behind his privacy screen. His posture was formal at first, though soon noticed that the scheduled guard had been dismissed, so he smiled and approached the barrier between them a little more at ease. "This is a  surprisingly late visit from you." Though no longer formal in some respects, Khan still stood before Kirk with excellent posture and very unwavering eye contact. Khan was always pleased to see him, particularly while watching him overcome the last effects of the illness and get better a little bit more every day.

Jim smiled with all his charm and said, “A late night visit, yes.”  He reached out and turned off the barrier between them, an invitation for Khan to approach.  Well, the hand he held out might have been a more obvious sign.  “I’ve been missing you since we were split up, after you got better.”  He curled his fingers in a gesture of welcome to Khan.  “Noonien.”

Khan accepted the offered hand, even though he did not need any assistance in order to step down and out of the cell. In a single stride, Khan stood before Kirk, holding his hand in such a way that pulled and directed him in closer as if they were back to dancing again. "Jim." He purred, bowing his head slightly, drawing in the scent off his neck before kissing him there.

Jim reached up quickly to stroke through Khan’s hair, head tilted to encourage the kiss.  “I’d like not to be alone in bed tonight, Noonien,” he said.  “Will you join me?”  He tangled their fingers even more completely and squeezed gently.  “Please.”

"It would be my pleasure." Khan assured with another purr, pressing a few more slow kisses to Kirk's neck. "And yours ... I assure you." He added, gently biting once, then pulling his head back with a small grin. He could not recall hearing Kirk ever say please to him before, and he found he rather liked it. It was very flattering to be so wanted and needed. Echoing the same need, Khan brushed their lips together, "Then please, take me to your chambers."      

Jim sighed in pleasure as Khan bit gently into his skin and then took a step back, tugging lightly at Khan to follow.  He released his hand and turned toward the door, walking confidently forward, as if he always took prisoners out of the brig in the middle of the night.  He saluted the security officer outside and kept walking toward the lift.  When the door closed behind them and the lift started, he turned toward Khan and pressed a quick kiss to his lips, tease and promise in one touch.  “My pleasure, hmmm?”  He stepped off the lift with an extra bounce in his step.

"Of course." Khan said gently, hands folded behind his back as he followed after Kirk. It was strange not to have their usual escort, not to be flanked by security officers, watching and listening as was often the case during their dinners together. But in public like this, Khan did show restraint. He kept his hands to himself and just enough distance so that on the chance they were observed by a passing crewmember in the hallway, he would not look threatening to the ship's Captain. "Your pleasure and happiness is important to me. What sort of lover would I be, if it were not?"

Jim smiled and bumped into Khan companionably, saying, “I never doubted that, you know.”  They reached his quarters, and he didn’t hesitate before entering his code and leading Khan inside.  But as the door shut and locked behind them, Jim stopped and leaned back into the augment, tilting his head back invitingly.  “Let’s test your skill at it then?”

Barely taking the time to absorb the sight of Kirk's private chambers, Khan gave the other man his full attention the moment he asked for it. Both arms wrapped around his middle from behind, holding him in place as their bodies pressed together. "Then you will indulge some of my little habits?" Khan asked, "I do not know what you are accustomed to ... but allow me my methods. If you do not like them- we can do it your way." He said, having some ritual in mind for how he wanted to bed his lover, properly, as he had said before.

Khan slid a hand up Kirk's chest, the tips of his fingers lightly caressing the length of his neck as he continued to speak into the shell of his ear, very quietly. "Let me feed you, so that you have stamina. And wash you, to relax your muscles. Then-" he gave another light bite, "I will share your bed."

“Oh, that’s what you mean by ritual,” Jim said with a sensual twist of his body against Khan’s.  He had wondered at that turn of phrase, what exactly was a ritual when it came to love-making.  “Is that the normal way you treated your lovers?”  He was not very jealous about those kinds of things, never had been.  He turned to brush his lips over Khan’s cheek and then his ear.  

“I accept your offer.  I’ll put myself completely in your hands ... and try to be good,” he added.  “Well, mostly.  Am I allowed to wash and feed in return, or am I supposed to be passive?”

"For a first encounter, yes. It is a way to show that you will be well treated." His companions were well taken care of, never abused or misused, just as Kirk would be well taken care of. "Now-" Khan said with a little smile, "you are welcome to participate as well, but you are my priority." That was to say, he would not let himself get overly distracted; he wanted Kirk to feel spoiled by him as a means to build up a truly blissful encounter between the sheets. There was time for the hard and fast and rough play later, this came first. Trust. Connection. Respect.

Jim hummed a little under his breath in contemplation and then nodded once, allowing himself to rest even more fully against his companion.  “I don’t doubt that you’ll treat me well, Noonien,” he said, eyes warm.  “I’m afraid even the captain’s quarters aren’t equipped with very luxurious bathing facilities.  We’ll have to make do with what we have.  I do have the option for water, though, so that’ll make things a little nicer.  As for food ... just remember not to do anything too exotic, or I’m liable to spoil the party by blowing up like a pufferfish and forgetting how to breathe.”

"A shower with water will do for our needs." Khan said with a nod. Brushing his hands down the front of Kirk's chest, Khan rubbed over the frame of his body until he found the clasps of his tunic and began to undo them. Unwrapping Kirk like a present, Khan pulled away each layer, removing the uniform to find the man underneath. As more skin became exposed however, the closer Khan held Kirk to him. When at last his pants were undone, Khan slipped his hands against Kirk's backside, palming the small of his back, pushing down to the round of his ass. Grabbing each cheek with his large hands, slowly kneading the tissue so that Kirk had to lean his nearly naked body into Khan, who was still fully clothed; it was an erotic, symbolic gesture that Kirk was more exposed, more vulnerable, but that even so, Khan would protect him, and be possessive of him.

Jim toed off his boots and socks with an easy move that rocked him even more into Khan.  The augment was as thorough, possessive and controlling as Jim expected, and he went with the flow, allowing himself to enjoy the touches.  He did undo the augment’s tunic, wanting to put his hands on warm skin, stroking gently as he leaned all his weight into him trustingly.  

He pushed back a little into the hands on his ass, making soft noises of satisfaction.  In a way, he was playing a role, giving Khan what he thought the other man wanted and needed.  It made the entire encounter feel a little more equal in his mind, as well, since he was also giving to Khan something that the augment desired.  

And oh, Jim was good at the role, softening his expression and widening his eyes to display trust and desire. But also a hint of false innocence, gentleness and shyness.  A person who needed and desired the protection and touch of a more experienced, stronger lover.

Tilting his head to the side, Khan pressed warm, open mouth kisses against Jim's neck. "Very good." He announced his approval of how willing Kirk was apparently being with him. His hands continued to massage the round of his ass, spreading the cheeks teasingly, working his way down the back of his thigh. Here he took hold and in one smooth motion lifted Jim off the floor, forcing him to wrap his legs around his hips, so that Khan supported his weight entirely. With a smile, Khan just held him in the middle of the floor quite easily, nipping at his lips, then carried his lover into the next room.

Through the bedroom and into the bathroom, where the lights came on automatically, Khan requested the precise temperature of the water he wanted, and what speed he wanted it to fall. The computer acknowledged as hot water began to gently shower down. Not that Kirk knew to be familiar with it, but it was quite like an afternoon summer shower one often experienced in India in the wet seasons. It wasn't much for washing, but a refreshing rinse and relief from the heat of the region, whereas here it was a welcome relief from the cold of space.

Jim bit back the dirty words he normally would have been spewing at a lover at this point, especially demands to be fucked as skilled hands worked over his ass.  He moaned wantonly instead and gripped Khan’s tunic with one hand, while the other skittered over the skin of his torso.  His legs did wrap naturally around Khan’s hips when he was lifted, and he laughed softly at this demonstration of his lover’s strength.  It reminded him of the Gorn, except the Gorn had not been so gentle.  He hadn’t wanted her to be, though.  Fuck, that had been a wild night.

None of that showed on his face, though, and right after the laugh, he whispered, “You’re so strong, Noonien.  You make me feel safe.”  He smoothed his hands over the augment’s back with the words, eyes guileless and lips slightly parted, awestruck.  He gripped harder as Khan carried him to the bathroom and glanced back as the shower came on at his words, watching the soft fall of water.  “That looks lovely,” he said with complete truthfulness, since he seldom indulged in water showers.

The stroke to his ego had been greatly needed. After all, Khan was accustomed to similar sentiments from his people, even though it was never said as a point of flattery, but that of honesty and sincerity. Telling Khan, how they trusted him, loved him, looked to him for protection and direction. It was refreshing, even just to have Kirk play along for a little while, to still feel that way once again. Important. Fearless. Beloved. Khan kissed Jim again, sucking on his lower lip with a parting smile.

Easing his hold so that Kirk touched his feet back of the ground, he gave direction. "Step under the water. Let it warm you." He said, letting his hands slip away from Jim so that he could undress himself. He quite enjoyed the sight of Kirk like this, young and brave, no matter his state of dress. His eyes never left him as he peeled away his own tunic and dropped his pants, humming pleasantly by the steam that was beginning to rise in the small room.

Jim made a noise of soft protest when Khan’s mouth parted from him and leaned in a little to steal another, before he darted away.  He dropped his eyes almost demurely at his own ‘daring’ and stepped into the shower.  Under the water, he tipped back his head to let the spray wash down over him in streams.  His hands began to rub over his body, mapping out the planes and spreading the water more efficiently.  

Feeling Khan’s eyes on him, he turned his back and ducked his head to sneak a peek over his left shoulder, a brief flash of intense blue.  And then he focused on the water, stretching tall to present his body both to the spray and to Khan.  An invitation, made without being completely overt.  

He was enjoying this game, being the younger one, the one to be led and not lead.  When Khan couldn’t see, though, he smiled a wicked little grin for himself, before letting out the softest whimper.  One he knew Khan could hear, though.  

“Noonien, are you going to leave me here alone?” he asked, eyes peering over his shoulder in another flash.

"Not at all, my pet." Not thinking anything of the term, other than it felt comfortable and easy to say. Smiling, Khan stepped in, just behind Jim, letting a little of the water spray over his own shoulders and slide down his body. Touching Jim on his shoulder, Khan dug his fingers in briefly, massaging the knotted tissue along his back, made easier with the hot water to ease the muscles. Kissing the back of his neck with a low groan, Khan slid his other arm around Kirk's front, palming the flat of his stomach to hold him still as he leaning and pressed against his backside.

"So lovely." He purred, enjoying the teasing whimper. His hand slid down his front to one thigh, then just barely brushing his cock as it drifted to the other. "You're wet." He said with a little grin, "But are you clean?" He asked, letting the palm of his hand rub in a firm circle against his hip, before reaching down to take up his length, stroking him expertly.

Jim’s eyes narrowed a bit at being referred to as ‘pet,’ but he didn’t comment and acquiesced to Khan’s touches without hesitation.  A deep groan escaped his lip when Khan worked out some of the knots in his back, a major place he carried his stress.  As Khan pressed against him, impressive cock pushing against his ass, Jim threw an arm back and around Khan’s neck, pulling himself up to meet his lover.  

“I will be,” Jim murmured and scraped his teeth along Khan’s jaw.  “You’ll touch me all over and wash away everything but you.”  He moaned at the skilled hand to his cock, hips thrusting slowly to meet each stroke.  “I’ll have your scent all over me by the end of this, won’t I?” he asked, still innocence.  “Another mark of your claim on me.”

"Yes." Khan said easily, hand sliding down his shoulder, then around the front of his collarbone, hooking his arm across his chest, locking him in. "You understand me quite well." He said, nuzzling the back of his neck with another soft groan before he began to kiss, letting his tongue add to the wetness of his skin, licking away the last traces of salt.

Grinding his hips against Jim's backside, Khan helped him thrust into his hand, so that both of them were pressing and rolling into the same motion, all the while fucking Khan's long fingers and the warm palm of his hand. "Now then Jim, how would you feel-" He teased, letting his hand relax the hold it had, falling away to grab him by the hip instead. "If I gave you a bite, just here ..." He said, scraping his teeth along skin and muscle just over his shoulder. "Would you like that?"

Jim moaned a complaint when Khan released his cock, having fallen happily into the rhythm of Khan’ hand and body.  He bit back a demand that he continue, plus several variations on the words ‘cock tease.’  Those would not be in character, nor would just picking up where Khan left off.  Instead, he pressed back into the augment with a needy whine, head turning to press soft kisses along the face so close to his.

“A bite?” he asked, shivering as Khan mock-demonstrated.  “More marks.”  He considered, nuzzling Khan’s cheek thoughtfully, before he nodded.  “Yes, I’d like that.  Very much.”  He tugged at Khan with the hand still wrapped around his neck.  “Please.”

Licking his lips, Khan grinned to himself now that he had consent. As a reward, his hand easily reached down between Jim's thighs, rubbing and encouraging them to part just a little more before he began to palm, then stroke his cock once more. Khan hummed and groaned softly, brushing his lips against the desired area. "Good." He purred, pressing so that their hips rolled together as he stroked Jim along his length, grip closed and tight, providing resistance around the base of his shaft, then loosening and gentle over the head.

Khan continued like this, building their rhythm again. Meanwhile his tongue began to press over the skin and muscle of Jim's shoulder, making the spot he wanted hot with his mouth before he bared his teeth and let himself bite. Careful not to break the skin, Khan kept his mouth closed around the small patch of skin and muscle with a blissful moan. But once satisfied, Khan began to kiss and drag his tongue around the edge of the abused area, soothing the nerves.

Jim widened his stance, deliberately putting more of his weight against Khan.  He shifted so that Khan’s cock eased between his cheeks a little, allowing them both to enjoy the thrusting even more. He loved the knowing hand on his cock, though he refrained from showing Khan even more of what really drove him wild.  The augment would probably enjoy finding out for himself.

The bite triggered another bodywide shiver and a deep grunt, as Jim’s head fell forward.  He hissed at the kisses and licks that followed and then sighed softly.  Khan’s mark on his body, the first, he assumed, of many.

“Noonien,” he murmured, “do you want me to come?”  Truthfully, he could hold out for a long time, especially for a handjob, but if Khan wanted him to release, he could do that, too.  Learned skills from so many nights of sexual activity.

"Oh-" Khan smiled against the back of his neck. "Watching you come would please me very much." To him, it was all apart of the process, stripping Jim of his tension and stress; proving that having Khan as a lover would be one pleasure after another. "Let me hear you Jim, feel you, as you get one out of your system." His free hand caressed the front of Jim's torso, but after a moment, flat fingers turned inward, pawing and clawing at his chest, leaving faint pink scratch marks.

“I’d like to please you,” Jim said, relaxing into the build toward climax.  His body tingled with all the lovely sensations, low in his belly, all along his cock, vibrating down his spine and even zinging through his mind.  He didn’t encourage Khan to speed up or try and force anything, just let go of any controls over his own release.  The hands marking his torso hastened the climax, even though he felt vaguely like he was being half-mauled by a wild cat.  And maybe that was an apt description.  A few more moments of rocking and stroking and scratching, and Jim spilled with a loud cry, letting Khan having everything he wanted in sight, sound and feel.

The way his body lurched forward and shuttered in his arms was delightful. "Beautifully done, Jim." Khan praised, stroking him through his climax. He could see that Kirk had great discipline when it came to his body, that he could simply allow himself to indulge in the orgasm, or ignore it for later. That was something they would likely have to play with more. "Very good." Khan kissed just under his ear, then along his jaw. He let the water wash away the cum from his fingers, rinsing them both clean once more.

Ordering the shower to turn off, Khan turned Jim to face him, hands on his hips, kissing him the moment they were facing one another. Drawing him in, Khan trapped his own erection against Jim's thigh, showing his lover just how aroused he was with the way they were letting things play out. "Now- a little something fresh for your pallet perhaps." He said between kissing his mouth and smirking.

Jim nipped at that smirk, a little retaliation for the expression.  He wrapped his arms around Khan and indulged in the kisses, though, allowing the augment to lead them, but expertly manipulating his own tongue and teeth once Khan did.  He moved his leg to stimulate the hard length against his skin, wanting to give Khan a little more back.  “Let me?” he asked, eyes wide and pleading.  “Let me give you the same?”

"Mmm." His cock twitched at the stimulation, but he did not seem to encourage getting off right away. Reaching up, Khan touched Jim on the side of the face, thumbing over the line of his jaw, down to his lips, fixating on them easily before kissing him again. "You will. But not yet." He said, confident that once he was finished setting the tone, Jim would indeed still want to get him off. For now, this was still about spoiling Kirk, treating him well, and showing that he was the priority, even though Khan had the more dominant role.

Removing a large bath towel from the shelf beside the shower, Khan draped it around Jim's shoulders and used it to work his way down his body, drying him off. In the end, he tied it off around his hips with a satisfied smile. Kirk was then forced to wait a moment while Khan then dried himself off too, tying his towel around his own hips. With a deep breath, Khan let out a satisfied sigh. Even though the towels around their hips bore the Starfleet insignia, the way Khan had tied them off made them look quite formal, very traditional, and was clearly just as much as apart of the ritual as anything else.

With an encouraging stroke of his finger against the underside of Jim's chin, Khan beckoned his young lover to follow him as he lead them out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. Though instead of going right to the bed, Khan approached the food processor automat that was a luxury unique to the Captain's quarters. He stood there thoughtfully for a moment, not wanting to request anything too exotic, mindful of Kirk's allergies, but still wanted to treat him to something special. After a moment, Khan decided that sometimes simple things could still be great things and therefore ordered chocolate covered strawberries and a shot of honey based liquor.

Jim glanced down at the way he had been bundled in the towel with a half-smile of bemusement.  He wondered if he should catalogue this entire encounter in the ship’s logs later, as a record of a time past.  There was something about the nature of everything Khan did that made this very ritualized, almost scripted.  It aroused Jim’s curiosity almost more than his libido, since it felt like a glimpse into another world.  He wished there was someone to ask if this was some sort of more largely practiced ritual or unique to Khan alone.

Still, despite the care Khan put in his actions, the obvious affection in his tone and touch, there was something a little too scripted in his actions.  It reminded Jim that he was but one in a line of lovers, to be treated in the same manner as all those who had come before.  He hid a small smile behind one hand, aware of the irony.  

Besides, it was obvious that this meant a lot to Khan, and Jim didn’t want to spoil things for the other man.  He would do his best to enjoy everything Khan had to offer.   He trailed after him and paused a few feet away, watching him choose strawberries and chocolate and some kind of liqueur.  He wondered if he should sit down, but decided that he would let Khan guide him.  Still, he moved up to Khan and pressed a series of soft kisses to his shoulders and nape.     

Feeling the kisses against his warm skin, Khan smiled to himself as he glanced back out of the corner of his eye. Taking up the tray with the treats he had ordered for them. Turning towards the bed, only now did Khan give it his attention and frowned slightly to discovered that it was very minimalistic, very standard issue. Not at all the cozy, inviting setting he was hoping to create. With his free hand, Khan fisted the top layer of blankets and stripped them off, pulling them to the floor, where he shuffled them around with a few pillows, creating something new. Kneeling down on the floor by the foot of the bed, Khan set the tray on the mattress in place of a table. Patting the mess of pillows and blankets beside him, Khan licked his lips as he looked up at Jim, "Come sit with me a moment." He said, knowing that Kirk was eager for more action, though hoped he would be patient with him a little while longer.

Jim watched most of his bed end up on the floor with a larger grin and then moved to take a place near Khan.  He eased up beside Khan and leaned into him a little bit, giving the other man plenty of leeway to feed him, if that was what was coming next, as he suspected.  “Here?” he asked with a quick glance at his lover.

"Perfect." Khan assured, one hand instantly reaching to touch him across his chest, thumbing over the moist skin, showing his constant appreciation for every inch of him. Khan nuzzled the side of his head, enjoying how Jim leaned into him, how clear his scent was like this. And while the experience was deeply erotic for the augment, he knew that Jim did not enjoy it in the same way. Kissing him on the lips, Khan sucked at his tongue playfully before he spoke again. "Now, how about a different treat for you mouth?" He offered with a little smile, reaching with his free hand for one of the chocolate covered strawberries.

“I rather like the treats your mouth gives me,” Jim answered, cupping Khan’s jaw with one hand and tracing it gently.  “But I confess that looks awesome.”  His eyes flicked to the strawberry and chocolate.  He shifted to lean even more into Khan’s warmth and strength, angling his head to accept the morsel, should it be offered.

Even with the way they were playing things out, Khan had found the comment unexpected. He smiled and turned his jaw in Jim's hand, kissing him on the wrist. "Just a bite, to start." He said, holding the chocolate covered strawberry by the wide end, offering Jim the tip.

Jim leaned in and considered taking the entire strawberry, but then flicked his tongue out to catch a drip of chocolate.  With a soft smile at Khan, he then took a bite from the end of the strawberry, shutting his eyes to enjoy the flavor and humming under his breath.  He pulled back and then turned to kiss Khan with a mouth now also flavored with strawberry and chocolate.  “Just a little kiss to start, too,” he murmured against Khan’s lips.

Allowing this, Khan kissed back lightly at first. But once he got a taste of how the dessert made Jim's mouth even sweeter, he kissed him again, sucking on his tongue with a groan. "Yes, I quite like that." He murmured between their lips. Pulling back his head just enough, Khan offered the rest of the strawberry to Jim, enjoying how his lips closed around the fruit.

Jim took the rest in his mouth, deliberately scraping his teeth over Khan’s fingertips, but perfectly leaving the stem.  He chewed contentedly and then asked softly, “May I give you one?”  He stroked over Khan’s jaw again, tracing his lips with one finger.  “I’d like to very much.”  He spread his legs a little, as much as the tight blanket allowed, wanting to give Khan more to touch and desire.  Where he leaned against the other man, he allowed himself to rub a little, just wanting to show more affection, in ways he felt the other man would accept.

Discarding the stem on the plate, Khan slid his hands over Jim's thighs with a little smile. He could see that even now, Kirk wanted some sense of fair play, both give and take between them, to keep things equal. He was touched by this, as the sort of things Jim wanted to express, as simple as feeding Khan a strawberry, did not directly benefit him. It offered him no leverage, as it was a selfless delight he wanted to give back to Khan. "Please. Thank you, Jim." He said, reaching past Jim a little to pull at the edge of one of the blankets, pulling it across both their laps. Though in doing so, Khan kept his own hands under the fabric and blindly began to undo the tie he had made in the towel around Jim's hips. Pushing the towel open, Jim was then completely naked under the blanket, touched and caressed from his hips down his thigh and legs, keeping the skin warm.

Jim shifted a little to allow the towel to fall completely free from his body and spread his legs more to encourage more of the warm touches to his thighs.  He hoped those caresses would spread over his body.  “You have wonderful hands,” he praised the augment and stroked a hand over chest, touching one nipple very tentatively.  With the other hand, he picked up a strawberry and brought it up to Khan’s lip, lightly stroking over the lower one.  “I bet you can eat the whole thing-” and it was a large, plump fruit “-in one bite.”  

"Certainly." "Khan smirked, accepting the challenge. He kept his eyes on Jim as his lips parted slowly, tongue extending flatly under the base of the strawberry as he helped draw it into his mouth. His mouth closed around the fruit, teeth sinking in until Jim was holding just the stem. Mouth quite full, Khan worked his tongue around the dessert, crushing it down as he began to chew, enjoying the experience with a little hum. As he did this, Khan continued to rub between Jim's thighs until he could gently squeeze and massage his balls. He groaned in a soft purr, easily implying that taking him into his mouth would be just as welcome, just as sweet as the fruit.

Jim watched Khan eat the strawberry with open appreciation and then darted in to kiss and lick at the bit of juice that escaped his lips.  “Mmm, tasty,” he said into the soft skin.  “Perfect combination.”  

A grunt escaped him as Khan gripped his tender sack, but he pushed up welcomingly into that hand.  There was something unbearably hot about being manipulated so tenderly by someone with such strength and power.  He moaned an answer to Khan’s purr, informing him also without words that he liked anything Khan might offer.  He moved his left hand to caress the length of Khan’s leg beside him, venturing a little under the towel himself, but never too far.

“May I sit between your legs?” he asked softly.  “I’d like to press against you, lean into your strength.  Be surrounded by it.”

"Hmm-" Khan pretended to consider, just as two fingers began to rub against the underside of Jim's shaft, petting the cleft of his ass. Leaning forward, Khan nuzzled his nose into the soft blond hair with a little smile, kissing several times before craning his head to the side to kiss Jim just under his ear as he spoke. "Yes." His free hand slid around his side, then began to rub against his lower back, encouraging him to move. Though no matter how Jim positioned himself, Khan clearly intended to keep his hands on him somehow at all times.

Jim eased up and over Khan’s legs and then leaned back into his strong chest, aware always of the hands on his ass and side.  “Yeah, this is nice,” he said and opened himself up to Khan’s touch even more, spreading his legs wide.  “More strawberries?” he asked with big blue eyes.

Relaxing completely into Khan’s care, Jim allowed himself to be enveloped in the mood Khan had set, one where he was the ‘pet’ to be cared for and cherished.  Also the one to be submissive and needy, all of which he could indulge himself and Khan in.  That meant being soft and pliant, and Jim settled his head back on Khan’s shoulder trustingly with a contented murmur.

As Jim settled against him, Khan kissed the side of his neck and shoulders, always looking to have a taste of him on his lips. "Of course." Khan said, indeed still thinking of Jim as his, though avoided the phrase 'my pet' since Jim had glared at him the first time, so he decided not to continue with the term Jim was displeased with. But the attitude was still there, Jim was to be touched and handled in any way Khan wanted, but he would also be cared for.

Reaching to the plate on the bed, Khan selected another strawberry. He dragged the tip across Jim's lips, encouraging them to part and eat what was being offered. He was still fondling Jim though, and his own cock twitched against his backside, pleasantly trapped between their bodies. The underside of his wrist rubbed steadily, while his fingers caressed the thin stretch of skin to his ass, teasing over muscle, coxing with the pad of his finger to relax.

Jim tilted his head and moved slightly to facilitate kisses and touches, even as his lips chased the strawberry.  He finally caught the fruit in his teeth and then nibbled it delicately down, flicking his tongue to catch dribbles of chocolate.  And finally, he released the end, leaving the stem in Khan’s fingertips.  “Thank you, Noonien,” he whispered and kissed those same fingertips.

The fingers at his perineum and the muscle of his opening made Jim squirm a little, wanting more than Khan was currently giving.  He whined needily and pushed back into the hard cock that rubbed against his ass so tauntingly.  He wanted that inside him, opening him up and stabbing him deep.  But he can’t say that the way he wants to or even move as invitingly as he would in other situations.

So, he whined again and scrabbled his fingers over Khan’s strong legs, simulating a somewhat inexperienced partner, who was being driven toward something he wanted, without quite knowing what that was.  He hoped Khan liked his actions, liked this version of him, that it did answer some desire inside of him.  Certainly, Jim was having fun, getting lost in the role.

Discarding the stem on the plate with the others, Khan then slid his free hand around the base of Jim's neck, up his throat like a slowly tightening collar, then stretched his thumb up to his lower lip, stroking the line of his mouth. "I take great pleasure in feeling you like this." He said, knowing this was not the way the young Starfleet Captain usually saw things play out in his bedroom. "Holding you in my arms, keeping you close ... it is very satisfying." It answered to Khan's needs.

"You are very good." Khan praised, both the role Jim was portraying, and the actor behind the mask. He smiled against his neck, then groaned openly as he allowed his finger to press in, past the resistance of muscle, up to his first joint, subtly wiggling back and forth to massage and stimulate the delicate nerves. "My dear lover."

Jim swallowed around the hand on his throat and shuddered at the way Khan held him, possessive and almost threatening.  He caught the thumb on his lips and sucked, eyes shutting tight as he hummed around the salty flesh.  His attention was diverted away from the fingers on his throat by that sucking motion, tongue flicking.

Even as he sucked, he tried to relax the muscles that Khan’s finger pressed inside, dry as they were.  He moaned around the intrusion in his mouth in response to the one inching deeper inside his other end.  Fuck, he wanted more.

When he released the thumb, he murmured, “I like it, too, Noonien.  I want to satisfy, answer your every need and desire.  Tell me how to do that for you.  Please.  Tell me what you need.”

Slick with saliva, Khan slid his thumb across Jim's jaw, then hooked just under the bone, finding and pressing against the delightfully strong pulse there. "Oh, I intend to take you, Jim." He said with a soft growl. "To rut inside your body, until the only sound you can make is to cry out my name." The tip of his finger continued to wiggle and gently press before slipping out just as easily, teasing the outside once more. He could see that Kirk wanted more, so he would drive him crazy just this once more before following through. "But first, there is one last treat ... for the both of us." He explained, letting his hand rest against the inside of his thigh, keeping this legs parted. "Now, would you like to face me, or look away?" He offered, wanting to give Jim what he was more comfortable with in this situation.

Jim kept his voice soft, as he said, “You make it sound primal, Noonien.  Like you’re some kind of wild animal claiming a mate.”  He pushed his nose into Khan’s throat and kissed the strong pulse there, mirroring the gesture to his own neck with a gentler move.  “Would you own me when you’re done?  Would I be yours?”

He considered the other words, but his adventurous nature demanded the out of character answer.  “I want to see you. I want to see your eyes and face.”

Khan eased his hold of Jim's neck at the mention of claiming a mate. His hand smoothed over the front of his chest, pressing to feel him breathe, as if by doing so it would help steady Khan's brain. And it did. His eyes closed, briefly surrendering to the feeling of Jim nuzzling back. "Not my mate, no." Khan eventually answered, opening his eyes and glancing out of the corner to Jim. There was a touch of sadness there, at being unable to have precisely that, but there were also deeper implications to the term that neither men were perhaps prepared for.

"But you will be mine, dear lover, my Jim." Khan turned his face and kissed Jim on the lips with a little smile. "Now." He said with a breath, both hands moving to either side of his hips to help part their bodies for the moment. "Why don't you sit on the edge of the bed for me. And you can have your next treat."

Jim paused and cupped Khan’s face a little more firmly, kissing him with more intent, a response to the sadness.  A hope that he might at least offer some solace, even if he could not be what Khan really deserved.  He let the touch linger, before moving to follow Khan’s directions.

“You want me on the bed and not down here?” he asked, having an idea what his ‘treat’ might be.  “I don’t mind lying here beneath you, if you prefer.”  

The stronger, more direct kiss had been very welcome just then. But as their lips parted, Khan just stared at Jim a moment, bewildered and touched by how easily providing hope came to him. With his hands guiding Jim to the bed, Khan then sat up on his knees before his young, handsome, playful lover. "I know, you are very willing." Khan praised, kissing the tip of each protruding knee once Jim was situated on the edge of the bed as he had been told.

Moving the plate of strawberries to the floor, Khan abandoned it there, only to take up the small shot glass between his fingers. "There will be times still, that I will enjoy having you under me- but you are never _beneath_ me, Jim." He said, keeping his gaze as he began to pour a few drops of the liquid over the head of Jim's erection, letting a few more drip down along his shaft, several lost to the soft hairs around his groin, as the final contents were poured over his balls and into the crease of his thigh. "Enjoy yourself." Khan said with a grin, "I will be enjoying you, very thoroughly." He added, licking his lips.

Jim laughed softly when his knees were kissed, as that was a strange touch to him, but fun and playful nonetheless.  He found a comfortable seat and looked at Khan kneeling before him, feeling rather powerful indeed.  He watched as Khan lifted the shot glass and licked his lips in anticipation.  Only to gape a little as Khan poured it all over his cock.

“Cold,” he said and felt his whole body give a little tremble, as the sensations seemed to travel everywhere.  He bit back a rather loud and appreciative ‘fuck’ and changed it into a loud groan of anticipation.  “Noonien.  Oh.”  He reached out and stroked his hair, before gripping lightly, just wanting to hold, not force or even guide.  But still- “May I?”

Khan continued to grin, a balanced mix between predatory and playful; like any good cat, sometimes cruelly teasing with his prey. "Yes." Khan answered, giving his consent and even arched his neck somewhat to encourage the touch. Though Jim was not left cold for very long, as Khan bowed his head forward and began to suck the sweet drink off from the base of his cock. Lips wrapping around the side and tongue greedily lapping at the skin, warming him easily with his mouth.

Jim’s hips twitched once, but then he held still for that sinful mouth.  He did murmur nonsensical encouragement, mixed with quiet moans, though, watching Khan with wide eyes.  He hoped the augment would kiss him and share the flavor of the liqueur, plus himself.  He leaned forward a little, wondering if Khan would understand.  

“That’s so good, Noonien,” he said, finding actual words.  “You’re so good to me.  Can’t believe you’re willing to do this for me.  Feels so lovely.  My loving Noonien.”

Khan glanced up, sharp eyes locking on Jim while his mouth remained full. He purred and hummed against his skin before pulling his mouth off with a soft gasp. He knew what he wanted, and for the moment was happy to indulge both of them as he sat up further kissing Jim on the lips, tongue slipping in to share the sweet taste. As he sat up however, his hands slid up the inside of Jim's thighs, keeping them parted as his thumbs caressed and massaged the strong muscle. "Your loving Noonien." He repeated back, embracing this phrase.

The liqueur was delicious, and Jim tried to get every drop of it off of Khan’s tongue, hands tightening their grip.  He pulled back when Khan did though and smiled when his words were echoed back to him, especially since Khan seemed to like them so much.  “That’s right,” he said.  “You’re proving that every second.”  He rubbed their noses together, affectionate playfulness.

Closing his eyes briefly, Khan seemed to savour the way their noses brushed, the exchange of breath, and the way their faces rubbed. For others it was perhaps difficult to understand, or otherwise dismissed and not seen as very important, but touching in this way was just as intimate to him as kissing or making love. By design, Khan had always been kept separate from others, meant to be untouchable, unattainable; and not just to humans, but other augments too. So even touching like this, something that might be seen as simple or even pointless to others, was very valued and very much enjoyed by Khan. But it also made him an attentive lover, cherishing every moment and every touch with his partner, instead of one deed or another.

With a lick of his lips however, Khan lowered his head again, giving a gentle bite to Jim's hip bone, then began to lick and clean him of the sweet, now sticky drink. Sucking and licking, Khan burrowed his way down, only to drag his tongue across the underside of his shaft and scrotum. Soft, low rumbles began to roll around in his chest, muffled sounds of pleasure as the tip of his tongue stretched to caress every inch he could reach.

Jim stroked Khan’s hair as the augment cleaned the liqueur from his cock and thighs and sensitive places between.  He moaned loudly at the intense lick and then pressed kisses to his forehead and crown, thanking him for the tender attentions. He arched his hips to give Khan more skin to explore and greater ease to find every bit of the remaining liquid.  He wished he could do more, wanting to give back to Khan, but satisfied himself with whatever affection he could give this way.  And with his voice.

The taste was wearing thin in some places Khan had already licked clean, but that did not stop him from sucking and kissing Jim still. Though as his lover shifted, Khan groaned softly with approval, lapping against his hole, wet and warm. In place of a finger, that could sometimes be too sharp, too unyielding, Khan began to probe with his tongue. Groaning and moaning to himself as he worked Jim open.

“Oh, please, Noonien,” Jim groaned low in his throat, trying to keep himself steady so Khan could continue licking inside him.  “Let me ... let me move so you can do that more easily?”  He tugged at Khan’s left earlobe with one hand, rolling it between his fingers to tease the sensitive scrap of skin.  “I want to give you more.  Please.”

Khan gasped eagerly, licking his lips before managing a quick "Yes." Though as soon as Jim got his answer, Khan began to lick and clean, taking the time to make him wet with saliva, to relax his muscles, to prepare him properly, as he wanted.

Jim moaned softly as Khan upped his attentions to his ass and shifted back to lay on the bed.  He spread his legs as best he could to facilitate that wicked tongue’s access to his body.  His hands moved to stroke again through the soft hair of his lover, tugging lightly at the locks.  “Yes, that’s so good, Noonien,” he praised, offering himself up freely and aching for the augment to come up on the bed and join him.  He wanted- _needed_ \- to be able to participate more, to just not lie back and take what was given.  “Please.”

As Jim moved further up on the bed, Khan followed, climbing up the side of the bed, off the floor so that he was kneeling between his lover's legs on the mattress instead. He gave a little bite to the inside of his leg, then another higher up on his hip bone. His thumb then replaced his tongue, sliding against the now wet hole, pressing and massaging the muscle until it gave enough to let him in.

"Please?" Khan prompted, biting, then kissing his hip before pulling his head up. "Was the treat of my tongue not enough? You want more?" Though as he said _more_ , he began to slowly fuck him with his thumb, taking what Jim's body would allow.

“No ... I want to give you more.  Never enough,” Jim said and then threw everything to the wind, reaching up to grab hold of Khan’s shoulders and haul himself into position for a kiss.  He put everything into that touching of their mouths, all that he had held back to play his role- including all his expertise and the genuinely deep desire to make this an experience he could also share in, not just take from.

Not that he ignored the finger now penetrating his ass.  He began to ride that hand with, well, a vengeance, wanting Khan to feel how very much he was ready for this.  How much he desired the augment.  And that’s what he had been pleading for.

The kiss indeed surprised Khan. He had growled briefly at being grabbed, not accustomed to being manhandled without a fight. But the kiss soothed him once he realized what Jim was after. Khan kissed him back hard, shoulders squaring as he held himself up, just over his bold companion.

"Give me more? You are already giving me the gift of your body, dear lover." It was once again perhaps an old fashioned way of thinking, as Khan did not take lightly the exchange of their bodies together. However, as Jim began to ride and fuck himself over his thumb and into the palm of his hand, Khan groaned eagerly the more he watched him. "Give me your nails, Jim." He said, pleased by what he saw in Kirk, something just wild enough he could understand, "I want feel them dig into my skin."

“Should have let them grow longer,” Jim said with a grin and dug his fingers as best he could into the strength of Khan’s back, raking them over the skin.  He looked into Khan’s eyes, as he continued to move into his hand and thumb.  “I am happy to give you my body, Noonien.  So happy.  But I want to do more than that.  I want to give you my attentions, too.  My affection.  Is that so strange?”  He continued to kiss, caress and scratch, demonstrating just how much ‘more’ there was to having James T. Kirk as your lover.

"Yes-" Khan purred, approving of how willing Jim was to dig into his skin without reservation. His body arched at the touch, a sharp, hot shiver spread down his back, making his toes curl. "Jim." Khan nipped at his shoulder, then the side of his neck, kissing his skin. His free hand settled on the center of Jim's chest for a moment, feeling his heart beat in his chest and the way the breathed; but it was also a possessive gesture that said, _this is mine, this is right where you belong_.

Jim understood the possessiveness in the gesture, in almost everything Khan did and said while they were entwined like this, and he accepted it without complaint.  For once in his long and rather sordid sexual life, he was willing to allow a lover to be possessive and needy without feeling the need to run away as fast as possible.  Instead, he relaxed into the touch at his chest, breathing even more deeply to allow Khan to feel his movements that much more.

“I’m right here,” he whispered into Khan’s ear.  “With you, Noonien.  You’ve got me.”  His lips brushed the sensitive curve and then closed over it lightly to suck, soft and gentle.  “I don’t want to go anywhere.”

Khan gasped, breath caught in his chest in such a way that kept him motionless. Everything seemed to be put on pause as his brain short-circuited. The words were perfect and golden to his mind, as was the nibble to his ear. When he recovered, his eyes openly slowly to look at Jim, the blue and black contrast of his iris was a little less sharp, a little less piercing, and instead reflected something softer, happier. Khan nodded slowly, though did not immediately speak, knowing that he would surely say something foolish just then if he did.

Instead, he gently eased his thumb out, teasing his hole one last time before sliding his hand to settle on the outside of his thigh. In place of having his hand and fingers to grind down against, Khan let his hips drop, pressing his weight against Jim, letting their cocks rub. While the hand on his chest lifted, trusting that Jim would indeed stay without being kept in place. Hooking his arm around the back of Jim's neck, Khan held him like this before he admitted, "I want to make love to you, Jim. Allow me to take you, dear lover."

Jim’s answered as much in the canted tilt of his hips up to Khan, as in the whispered, “I want very much for you to.”  There was a minute pause, before he admitted, “Although you are a bit too large without a little more preparation.”  His lips twisted a bit into something a shade naughtier.  “Your fault for being a stallion.”

He liked the softness around Khan’s expression, especially in those eyes, which he knew could be as cold as arctic winds and far less welcoming.  He traced the edges of a mouth that could sneer, but now showed some signs of being swollen from their activities (which made Jim proud, since after all, augment), with a fingertip.  

He knew his own face would be even more undone by their kisses and bites.  That his eyes must be blown with want by now.  How much more his own purely human face gave away.  He knew, though, that Khan appreciated it, for he made that evident, so that eased some of the worry that he was too transparent.

"What is acceptable in this age?" Khan asked, willing to adapt to new methods of sexuality, especially if his ways were seen as primitive. "Oils? Lubricants? Tell me." Khan said, encouraging Jim to be free with his words, to explain what was acceptable, what he wanted, and how Khan could make it comfortable for him.

“Mmmm, either of those would work well,” Jim said with a little wiggle under Khan, before he glanced up at the bedside table.  “There’s a small, corked vial in the drawer that I like.  You only need the tiniest amount ... and it adds to the pleasure shared.”  He looked back toward Khan and kissed his chin in a light tease.  “You’ll feel like you’re sliding into the most exquisite heat.”  He reached in that direction lazily with one arm, not really moving from under Khan an inch.  “May I or do you want to fetch it?”

Though he understood Jim meant it as means to be tempting, Khan was not sure the lubrication Jim was describing held any interest for him. He did not need artificial heat, they would be making their own; and he did not want to loose a moment of sensation with Jim by being overwhelmed by something from a bottle. Still, Khan lifted himself just enough so that their hips were no longer pinned together, his arms now locked on either side of Jim, holding himself up on all fours. "Show me."

Jim wriggled out from beneath Khan and then went to the bedside table, opening the drawer.  He pulled out the tiny vial and then set it behind him, so Khan could see.  He rummaged around for another moment and pulled out something else, a completely natural lubricant given to him as a gift from an ambassador’s daughter, who had been quite pleased with his prowess in bed.  He smiled slightly at the memory, but when he turned around, his expression was only for Khan again.

“There’s also this.  I’ve never tried it.  It’s made from tree sap, actually, so it’s completely natural.  It’s supposed to be quite slick, but otherwise unintrusive.”  He set the ornate bottle for Khan to examine, as well, before slithering rather elegantly back under him.  “Whatever you choose.”

Sitting back on his heels, Khan took the time to examine each one. He opened each bottle in turn, rubbing a little between his fingers to get a sense of the consistency, tasting for bitterness or underlying toxins, and even to smell each as if it were a fine wine to be decided upon. But truly, the more natural lubricant reflected Khan's way of things in the end.

Setting the other one aside, Khan spread the alien tree sap between his fingers, lathering the length of his erection first. It had a subtle, but pleasantly earthy scent, and while it was indeed quite slick, it was not sticky or quick to dry out in the open air. Satisfied with this, Khan used the excess on his fingers to rub against Jim's entrance, teasing the muscle open with two fingers this time, rubbing over the edge until he began to once more relax at the touch. Easing him open with two fingers, Khan slowly stretched the muscle, fingering him very shallowly at first, until his body was ready for more.

Jim watched Khan examine the two choices with a mixture of arousal and amusement, somehow gratified by how seriously he took even sex.  He wasn’t surprised, somehow, when Khan chose the more natural lubricant, though he vowed to show him how lovely the other one worked as well.  He wanted them to have many times together, even though he figured he would have to give up topping.  

Jim made a noise of protest when Khan took care of himself, feeling like he’d been deprived of that opportunity.  Still, the pleasure in Khan’s face soothed away some of that disappointment.  As did the two fingers that coaxed him open, even though he didn’t require such a gentle touch.  There was something appealing about how carefully Khan treated him.

“I can’t wait to be ready for you, Noonien,” Jim said, spreading his legs even wider for his lover.  “I want to feel you inside me for the first time.  Want to know what it’s like to really be joined with you, as intimately as physically possible.”

"Soon, Jim." Khan said, kissing him on the lips with a little smile. He worked his fingers in a little deeper now, massaging the inside walls of his body. Clearly Khan had no desire to cause his lover any pain, even though it would be quite easy for him to do just that; which was perhaps why he took extra care to be gentle with his human lover. In time, they could play rougher and Jim would still be safe, but for now, their first encounter, Khan wanted to show just how well Jim would be cared for.

"Oh- there." He grinned a little, finding the right bundle of nerves that seized and throbbed the muscles around his fingers. "That's good, isn't it?" He asked, nuzzling their faces together. His free hand moved to the back of Jim's thigh, pressing his leg back to help keep him open.

Jim settled under the careful preparation and moved with Khan’s fingers, rocking himself slowly with each press inside him.  He moaned loudly when Khan found his prostate and nodded frantically in response to the question.  His leg followed the instruction of Khan’s hand, stretching to the extent of his flexibility.  “Be even better with you inside me,” he still managed to say, feeling more than ready now.  “Noonien.” He lifted his face into the nuzzle and brushed kisses across the skin within his reach.  “You just like teasing me.”

"I admit, I do." Khan answered. To him, teasing Jim served several purposes, for one, it drew out their time together, for another, it served to stimulate Jim, getting him on edge and wanting more, and it also gave Khan a chance to play in his own way, experiment and learn things about Jim the longer their encounter.

Grinning and licking his own lips, Khan rubbed against his prostate, fingering him slowly before withdrawing his digits. He met those daring, beautiful blue eyes, hoping he would not shy away from him now as he angled himself, letting the head of his cock breech him with ease. "Oh-" He growled happily, one hand fisting the bed sheets, the other still on Jim's thigh as he pressed to have more.

Far from shying away, Jim wrapped first arms and then one free leg around Khan, angling himself up into the impalement.  “Oh, indeed,” he breathed out and deliberately clenched against Khan for a second, before easing off again.  “Keep going.  I want you all the way inside me, Noonien.”  He scratched across Khan’s back, as he had been asked to do before, hoping Khan still liked it.  

Rolling his hips, Khan slid his way in deep with another gasp. He had not had anything like this in a very long time. And truth be told, none of his previous companions compared to Kirk, as he both knew how to play the role, but also had the experience to take some of the pressure off Khan. Pressing to the hilt, Khan finally eased his hold on Jim's thigh, satisfied that now that he was settled between his legs, lost deep in his body, there was no need to hold Jim in place by force. "So good, Jim ..." Khan praised, bowing his head down to kiss and suck at his nipple. The muscles in his back were tight in the way Khan was holding himself, but he groaned at the nails against his back, spurring him on.

As soon as his leg was released, Jim wrapped it around Khan’s hips to cradle his lover, now all the way inside him.  He shifted a little to allow Khan to settle more comfortably, on and in him.  The scratching hands softened and massaged the strong shoulders above him, working in deep to try and ease the stiffness he felt there.  “So full,” he said and breathed out a contented sigh, remembering all the reasons he enjoyed having a lover inside him.  

The lips at his nipple distracted him, sparking his nerves and driving him to move into Khan a little more.  “Fuck.  Noonien.  Don’t stop.  Please.”

With a roll of his hips, Khan began a slow, shallow fuck that kept him nice and deep inside his lover. The heat and scent of being between Jim's legs was starting to trigger a need in Khan that had previously been long ignored. Lowering more of his weight down, Khan attempted to wrap his arms around Jim, to hold him as he thrust, moving their bodies together against the bed. Pressing his lips to Jim's temple, Khan breathed in with a soft groan, lips parted as he softly admitted, "You are delicious, Jim ... truly ... amazing."

Jim met the movements with ease, finding their rhythm almost instantly, which seldom happened even with all his experience.  He stroked down Khan’s long back and over his ass, enjoying the way they moved with each thrust.  His other hand slid into Khan’s hair to stroke and encouraged his head down for a kiss with gentle tugs.  “I want to be good for you, Noonien.  Want to give you want you want ... what you need.”  

"You are very good, Jim-" Khan breathed, not wanting him to be so worried about his role. There shouldn't be any doubt in his mind, there wasn't any for Khan. "So very good ... and just what I need." He said, kissing the side of his neck, then his face, sucking lightly on his lip. He began to move and thrust a little faster now, diving in to the heat of their bodies, hot and slick and perfectly welcoming.

“Am I?” Jim asked, liking to hear that and wanting to hear more, if Khan was willing to tell him.  His body answered the change in Khan’s speed and power, opening even deeper for his thrusts.  He let his head roll around to allow kisses and bites to more of his skin, knowing how Khan liked to mark him.  And even he could smell the scent between them- musk and heat and sex and power.  But still, he continued to want… “More.  Please.”

Generally Khan was quite careful with this words, never speaking more than necessary, and certainly never saying anything he didn't mean. But Jim seemed to want more, and it wasn't just to be fucked harder. "Jim-" He began, opening up a strain of thought he would have otherwise kept to himself, "my worthy companion ... we fit so well, how could I want anything else?" He kissed the side of his face, though was careful not to bite him as much, aware that he could get carried away and that Kirk would probably not appreciate having visible marks above the hem of his uniform.

Khan groaned, then growled as his eyes tightly shut a moment, losing himself in the need to take Jim, over and over. "My Jim ... my dear lover ..." He gasped, then tucked his face against Jim's neck. "I want to fill you up ... and be able to smell myself on your skin, days from now ..."

“Yes.  Yes, Noonien,” Jim said and found his mouth to kiss him sweetly, even though their bodies were speaking the rougher language of sex.  But their coupling meant more than the fucking, as Khan’s words proved.  “I don’t want anything else- anyone else.  We do fit well.  You can mark me there,” he said, pressing against Khan’s head lightly against his neck to let him know he wanted that bite.  “It’ll be so good.”

He deliberately squeezed around the cock inside him, giving permission for Khan to release into his body, to take that kind of pleasure.  He’d wear that scent for as long as possible, even skipping a shower or two to allow it.

"Yes? Yes?" Khan pressed his lips over the desired area, barely restraining his desperate hunger. Pressing his tongue against the skin, Khan groaned again, "Jim-" He even whimpered softly, torn, even with Jim's permission before he allowed himself to sink his teeth in to bite. For a moment, Khan shuddered, arms forcefully tightening around his lover, desperate to keep what was his. It was everything he wanted, to be so deep in his body and mouth against his neck, a show of power and force and yet love and affection to two different, but equally vulnerable places of his lover's body.

Rutting himself deep inside, Khan felt his need for release rise up. Jim had given him everything, naturally, without even trying or prompting. At last however, his body tensed, then hips snapped as he came without a word, his voice lost somewhere between a groan and a growl, spilling his seed inside his lover, riding out his orgasm. "Mine." He said with a gasp, licking the swollen area of his neck over and over, soothing the raw spot.

With an accompanying cry, Jim shuddered with Khan as strong teeth clamped into his skin and added a delicious thrill of pain to mix with the pleasure already coursing through his body.  He felt empowered by the bite, too, knowing how much Khan wanted him, a visible proof of his claim.  And he stroked Khan’s hair gently to show acceptance of the action.

Still, the guttural ‘Mine’ that Khan uttered on orgasm caught him off-guard, somehow making it all the more real.  He wanted to hold on to his own release, prolong their encounter even longer, but coming with Khan felt right, so he let go, splattering between them.  His cries echoed through the room, louder than usual.

Affectionate and gentle once more, Khan purred as he nuzzled their faces together. He freed one hand in order to brush his thumb over Jim's lips, impressed by the perfect words he had uttered and the way he vocalized his own release. Though instead of pulling out and drawing away from Jim, it was clear that Khan felt there was still much to share and gain from one another, just as they were. He was still just hard enough to remain inside his lover's body, not wishing to separate from the feeling of their joined bodies. Quietly and without being rough about it, Khan kissed Jim across his face and neck, showing praise to his body.  

A little worn from their continued activities, Jim smiled up at Khan and returned the kisses with equal affection and praise.  His legs relaxed and slid slowly away from Khan’s sides to rest beside him, but he continued to cradle Khan between them, enjoying the closeness, Khan buried inside his body.  “Feels good to have you inside me still,” he said softly, relishing the stretch in his ass.  “Stay?”  

"As long as you like, Jim." Khan said, petting his long fingers through the short blond hair. After a few minutes of silence and contemplation, Khan spoke up again. "Thank you for indulging my little habits ... it does not always have to be like that, but it was what I wanted for our first time together." The tone was set, Khan would be very loving, very thoughtful, very attentive, but he would also be rough, possessive or dominating sometimes too.

“Not much that’s little about you,” Jim teased lightly, shifting into his penetration.  “I don’t mind ‘indulging’ you, as you put it.”  He studied his lover’s face and eyes and then continued softly, “I think we may need to talk about a few things later.  Nothing bad.”  He reassured Khan with a kiss.  “I want to make sure I don’t do anything that might trigger something negative for you.  You understand?”

Khan tilted his head to the side at this unexpected comment. "I cannot imagine that you would." He frowned slightly, one hand petting over Jim's chest as he spoke, "Have I done something unwelcome?" He asked, feeling that Jim would not have brought it up unless there had been a moment that had triggered Kirk. "Please tell me." He said, prepared to apologize and make amends if he were given the opportunity.

Jim kissed his lips softly and said, “I felt you tense for a moment when I initiated that kiss awhile ago, the one where I reached up and held on to your shoulders.  You relaxed right after, but I noticed.  I’m usually not submissive during sex, so I might do things your other lovers ... well, wouldn't have.  So, if there’s anything I might do that you really wouldn't like, please tell me.”  

With a sigh, Khan felt himself deflate completely and slip out. As much as he wanted to keep things just as they were, he knew that Jim was surely sore from laying in the same position for so long and therefore carefully moved to push himself up onto all fours. Smoothing a hand over Jim's leg, Khan guided his thighs to close before he shifted to one side of him, laying out to face him, arms wrapped around him carefully, one hand over his stomach, lightly petting. "I am not accustomed to being grabbed ... however-" Khan considered a moment, "I am not opposed to your touches, your free will."

Jim sighed in a mixture of loss and a bit of discomfort, as Khan parted from him and rolled away.  He turned toward him a little to keep close and look into his eyes as they spoke.  The words made him smile and shake his head once.  “Noonien, I wouldn't allow this if I thought you were opposed to my having a say in the matter.  Honestly, that’s not what I mean at all.”  He considered a moment and said, “The only thing I really don’t like is being called degrading names during sex, as if the other person really means it.  Not if it’s playful, but if there’s an edge there.”  He looked into Khan’s face to see if he understood.  

Wrapping an arm around Jim's shoulder, Khan stroked the tip of his fingers across his back. "Then what are you saying?" Khan asked, blinking once. Where they truly doomed to constantly misunderstand one another? "I recognized that you did not like to be called pet. It was not intended to be degrading, but I will not use it again. No offence was meant." He swallowed, a quiet frown remaining on his face.

Jim regretted putting that expression on Khan, especially since he had not regretted a moment of their coupling.  He pressed a soft kiss to that frown and then continued over cheeks, nose and forehead.  “I wanted to thank you for noticing.  I know you didn’t mean anything insulting by it ... others haven’t been so kind.”  He stroked over Khan’s right cheek with tender fingers.  “But I still didn’t mean that.  You didn’t do anything I didn’t enjoy, Noonien.”

Jim rolled to press his body fully against the augment’s, wanting to show him that he didn’t disapprove of Khan’s action at all.  He nuzzled at Khan’s cheek and ran soft lips over the skin of his throat.  “I just want to make sure you enjoy everything.”

Khan eased to hear that Jim had enjoyed himself after all. His frown faded, and he even closed his eyes as Jim began to kiss and nuzzle his skin. Not incapable of showing vulnerability either, Khan let his head tip back as Jim pressed his lips to his throat with a soft purr. "Very much Jim, I enjoyed everything."

Jim smiled at this gesture of trust and sucked lightly at his pulse point, not trying to leave a mark, but enjoying the action just the same.  He thumbed over the bow of Khan’s mouth and then asked, “You’d tell me if I did do anything that upset you, right?”  He pushed lightly against Khan’s body again, asking without words if he was interested in going again.

"Yes, Jim." Khan said, though his tone had the underlying note that suggested even though he said: _Jim_ , he meant: _Captain_ , it was formal, but for the way Khan thought, it implied the respect he held for him. Kissing the thumb with a little smile, Khan lightly dragged his nails down Jim's back, stroking the small of his back before he began to palm the round of his ass, keeping their bodies pressed together.

Jim smiled at the implication of Khan pulling him closer and cradled his face with both hands, thumbing over both high cheekbones.  “Tell me what you would like now, Noonien,” he said softly.  “I want to give you back some of what you gave me.  You spent the whole time spoiling me, but I ache to touch you all over in return.”  He hoped Khan would tell him, give him permission to return the favor.  

It was a curious position for Khan. Other than the obvious forms of showing dominance, taking care of his lover, being the one who handled them and yet was somehow untouchable in return did not seem so important anymore. He realized, he could allow Jim to touch him, to indulge in the things he wanted as well, without being made to feel submissive for it. At least in theory. "Touch me then-" Khan said, kissing lightly as Jim held his face close, "Rub against me, so that I can carry your scent with me. Show me what you ache for."

“You want my scent on you, as well as yours on me?” Jim asked, obviously delighted by the idea.  He kissed down the length of his neck and undulated against his body in sensual waves.  And then he eased himself into place to alternate between nibbling, kissing and rubbing his cheek over warm skin of shoulders, collarbone, neck and upper chest.  He found a nipple and took it in his mouth, sucking lightly, testing if Khan would allow it.

"Yes." Khan hummed, in both answer to the question and to Jim's willingness to follow through instantly. His breathing turned slow, but still deep as his chest rose and fell dramatically. Several warm shivers darted through his nerves, making his usually pale skin blush in small patches, if only for a moment. "Ah- Jim." Khan said with a little smile, watching him casually through nearly closed eyes, not feeling threatened and therefore not feeling he needed to keep his eyes on him at all times. "Lovely."

“Lovely,” Jim echoed as he released the shiny nub.  He looked up to smile at Khan, urging him on his back, as he had been that day in the gym.  “Tell me what other things you’ve done with your lovers?” he asked, kissing the spot over his heart.  “What do you like best?”  He sat back on his haunches and smoothed his hands over his legs and sides in soothing, arousing strokes.  He turned his hands to rub the pulsepoint of his wrists over his hip pointers, putting scent there.

Laying back on the bed, Khan attempted to settle and allow himself to get comfortable; even though being on his back was not a natural state for him. But it helped to keep one hand on Jim's hip, keeping some contact on his own terms. Though at the question, he just shook his head, "It is not comparable. There are things I have done with past lovers, that I would not do with you- as I doubt you would enjoy them." Not that Khan had ever hurt his former lovers, far from it, but they had been happy to submit to Khan in ways he was certain Jim would not.

"Do not worry about the past, we are creating something new, you and I." Khan said, lips parting slightly as he watched Jim scent himself over his body. The touch to his hips however was particularly good, so much so that he naturally thrusted up for Jim to do it again.

Jim favored Khan with a look, a gleam in his blue eyes, that said he had taken that as a bit of a challenge.  He repeated the move over Khan’s hips, before leaning down to kiss each spot, tongue flicking out to taste.  “I like that,” he rumbled, though he could never match Khan’s purr.  “We’ll find out what we enjoy doing together.”  

He rubbed his face over the warm, hard six pack of Khan’s abdomen and then scraped his teeth over the sensitive skin there.  “But don’t presume I won’t like things.  I don’t want to deny you what you enjoy, if there’s a chance it’ll be fine.”  His tongue flicked out to playfully enter Khan’s navel, something silly, but also sexy, in the gesture.

Breathing out his nose sharply, Khan hummed in amusement, wishing to explore more of Jim's playfulness, even if he did not always understand it. Reaching down, Khan scratched the tips of his fingers against Jim's scalp. Petting through the short blond hair, Khan decided to give an example of something he previously enjoyed. "I find it is a pleasant way to wake up, with my lover's mouth already on my cock. How does that sound?"

“Do I need to wait until you fall asleep?” Jim asked, mischief in his expression and voice.  His gaze slid down to Khan’s groin.  “Otherwise, I find it quite a pleasant idea.  Something I might do myself anyway.  Of course, I also have to wake up first ... I don’t think that’s as easy.”  He pressed up into Khan’s fingers.  “Tell me what else?  Please, Noonien?”  He lowered his head to sweeten the words with tender exploration of Khan’s upper thighs, deliberately getting Khan’s musk on himself this time.

"Well- it is not necessary that you wait until I sleep, but that is rather the point of that particular scenario." His fingers curled against the back of his skull, only lightly scratching, not forcing. "Otherwise, I might like for you to display yourself for me, masturbate and bring yourself to orgasm while I watch." Khan sighed happily, already imagining what that might look and sound like. "I would not mind even, if you came against my skin, as long as you cleaned it up after with your mouth."

Jim tilted his head and asked, “Not mind?  If I wasn’t willing to do that, you wouldn’t like it?” That was exactly the kind of thing he needed Khan to tell him.  He wouldn’t think anything of spilling on a lover, or having them do the same.  In fact, that was a regular part of his activities with other men.  The concept that Khan didn’t welcome that ... it would have been an unpleasant surprise for sure.  But that didn’t seem to apply when he came as a result of having Khan inside him ... maybe because of the position?  What a complicated lover Khan was, just as expected.  But Jim liked challenges and had decided to extend it to include Khan this time.  A first among lovers.  He thought Khan might like that, if he knew.   

"Traditionally, no." Khan let his hand pass down over Jim's shoulder, massaging slowly into the muscle. "If it were someone else, I would not like that very much ... But with you, Jim ... I would not mind being marked in this way if it meant I could watch you make a mess of yourself."

Jim leaned back a little to let Khan look him over and said, “I’ll happily make a mess of myself for you, Noonien. As many times as you want.”  He moved his hands off of Khan and ran them over his own torso slowly, working his way down.  He stopped at the end of the tease and said, “And I’ll have fun doing it, too,” with a wink.

Leaning in again, he pressed a soft kiss over each of Khan’s nipples, from his position at the augment’s side.  “I wouldn’t mind you showing off some of that strength on me, Noonien.  You could hold me down so easily.  I’d trust you not to hurt me or do anything I didn’t want.  Would you like that, Noonien?”  He sucked a little more fiercely at Khan’s left nipple, as if trying to drag actual sustenance from the other man.

Khan purred with a smile and a soft laugh as he watched Kirk playfully touch himself, teasing him with the prospect. He would enjoy the show, watching Kirk handle himself, watching him find all his own favorite spots, showing off what he could do while Khan's eyes were on him.

"Show my strength?" Khan asked, showing some caution with the subject. He sat up. Finger hooking under Jim's chin to tilt it up to kiss him on the lips. "You want someone to struggle against? To fight, but who will take you anyway? In play?" He smiled as he pressed another kiss to his lips. "That ... could be quite ... satisfying."

Jim pressed into the kiss, tongue flicking softly against Khan’s lips and tongue.  “Would you like that, Noonien?  Playing at overwhelming me with your strength and claiming me?”  He nibbled on Khan’s lower lip, before tugging on it gently.  “I bet you would enjoy that very much.  Almost as much as you’d like it if I presented myself eagerly on my hands and knees for you, ass in the air for you to plunder.”  He whispered into Khan’s ear, teeth and lips brushing the skin, “You can hold me down that way, too, tangling our hands together and just keeping me still as you fuck into me.”

As the image of what Jim was suggested filled his mind, Khan felt his cock twitch back to life, already beginning to swell. "Yes, Jim." He said with a hum as a shot of electricity shot down his body, starting at his neck, just below where Jim was breathing against his skin, through his shoulders and down his back. "That would be very good."

“Would it also be good for me?” Jim asked, tiptoeing fingers down Khan’s strong abdomen to brush up against the head of his cock.  “Have you ever had a lover who could even try and keep up with you, Noonien?  Someone who wanted you multiple times in a night?”  His hand encircled the lovely cock and stroked a few times, firm and knowing.  “I’m adventurous and willing to try a lot of things.  I hope you’re willing to try new things for me, too.”

"I have not had a partner that could keep up with me, no." The tease and promise that Kirk could possibly be that person was a very strong turn on. Though Khan had adored his lovers, cared for them, and protected them, they were still very human, very mortal at the end of the day, and as such, had certain limitations. Khan had never pushed for more than they could give, but the idea that he could push Kirk, and together they could both find out how far they could go flirted with his sense of danger and adventure.

"But I would endeavor to make it very good for you. If you are truly interested in this path, I will show you my strength, Jim." Khan smiled darkly, leaning in to brush his lips against Jim's jaw, kissing a few times before giving a light bite now that he was quite hard in his hand. "We are bold and daring, you and I. If you put to words what you want, I will attempt to satisfy- and if you have limits, I will honor them, and stop at your command."

Jim took a chance and straddled Khan’s lap, deliberately making his features playful, as opposed to threatening any attempt at dominance.  He smoothed his hands up Khan’s strong, pale chest and tweaked each nipple, before settling his palms on Khan’s shoulders.  “I’d like to try to keep up,” he said, rocking against the hard cock now pressed against him.  “I want to show you just how well Starfleet makes her captains.”  He grinned cheekily and pressed his forehead to Khan’s.

“So, you think we might get kinky then?” he asked.  “Want me to have a safeword, in case things get a little too overwhelming for me?”  He considered, nibbling on his own bottom lip.  “Might be a good idea.  Something I wouldn’t ordinarily say in the middle of coitus… banana?”  His arms slid around Khan’s neck, and he lazily rolled into a kiss.  “My Noonien.”

"Heh." Khan watched the nimble fingers play across his chest, "Are you suggesting this was in your training manual?" He licked his lips, arms naturally wrapping around Jim's hips, fingers pressing into the small of his back, enjoying the weight of him just there. "How fortunate it would have been to be your lab partner."

"But I do believe we could raise the bar a bit, yes." Khan said with a lick of his full lips. "You are quite eager, aren't you?" He said with a grin, clearly not mentioning this out of any criticism. "Very well ... Where should we start, my Starfleet Captain?"

“Oh yes, all my partners were very fortunate,” Jim said with a teasing grin and pressed slowly back into the strong hands on his hips.  “I didn’t follow any manual, though.  I enjoy being more ... free-form.”  He kissed the softness of Khan’s lips, one of the few parts of him with any give at all.  “Why shouldn't I be eager, with you spread beneath me like some wet dream of a fantasy?”  

Jim played with the heavy sack beneath Khan’s beautiful cock, just pulling and rolling it between his fingers.  “We’ve already started, Noonien.  This is us, well started.”

"Fantasy?" Khan groaned, back arching just slightly as his thighs spread all too easily when Kirk reached down between their bodies to play with his scrotum. He hummed, the vibrations building up in his chest for another low purr as his fingers dug into Jim's hips. "You flatter me." He whispered, brushing their lips with a grin, teasing with more of a bite then a kiss.

Sharp blue eyes darted over Jim's features, as a predator would in deciding where to sink in its teeth first. The hunger for his body was growing again, and Jim was doing well to encourage it. Long fingers began to knead into the flesh of his ass, separating the cheeks with a very firm massage, making room for his middle finger to tease at his cum filled hole.

“I bet you’re used to being flattered,” Jim replied.  “But there’s no reason to pretend you’re anything but gorgeous.”  He tilted forward to allow Khan to play more with his ass, if that’s what he desired.  

“Course, you think I’m gorgeous, too, don’t you?” Jim asked with another kiss to Khan’s mouth,  tugging lightly at his lower lip with sharp teeth.  “You know you want my pretty ass again.  Can’t keep your hands off it.”  He tilted his head and nuzzled into Khan’s neck, before daring an actual bite of his own.

"You are quite handsome. Very good looking." He smiled, biting back then claiming his mouth, sucking on his tongue, wanting to shut him up. Leaning into him, Khan rocked their bodies against one another, attempting to grind his hips up into his talented hands. He gasped wetly, not for breath, but to lick his lips moist again. "Yes, I want you again." He said, just beginning to tease the muscle with the pad of his finger when Jim bravely bit down on his neck. A full body shudder crawled through the complex stretches of muscle, making Khan catch his breath for a moment, a sudden heat burning to the surface of his skin. Lips parted, for an instant, Khan looked to be in pure, unreserved, bliss. But as the feeling began to rise through him again, settling in his chest, Khan found his breath and growled. One hand instantly grabbed Jim by the back of the head, fisting his short hair to pull his mouth off just enough. "Troublemaker." He said, eyeing him.

Jim grumbled at the loss of the piece of skin he wanted to be sucking on and looked at Khan unrepentantly.  “Yes, I am.  But you liked that.  It felt good.  And I promise you, Noonien, all I want to do is give you pleasure.  Make you feel so good your toes curl.”  He waited for Khan’s judgement on the action, secretly knowing he’d be pushing Khan to try more new things.  “Please, Noonien, trust me?”  He reached out and stroked up and down Khan’s warm chest, fingers tender, but strong.   

Jim however had managed to sneak in the magic words. "I do trust you, Jim." Khan said, pausing before he eased his hold, petting his fingertips down the back of Jim's neck instead of keeping a tight hold of his hair. Turning his head to the side, Khan offered up the stretch of skin and muscle along his neck once more, allowing Jim to continue and follow through with what he seemed to have in mind.  And though he dropped his hands back to rest on Jim's hips, Khan kept his piercing gaze on his young lover, watching him out of the corner of his eye.

Noticing Khan looking at him sideways, Jim tilted his head to offer him a warm smile and said, “Thank you, Noonien.  That means a lot to me.”  He didn’t hesitate from there, biting down on the strong tendon of Khan’s neck, wanting to leave a mark, at least for a moment.  He sucked eagerly as his teeth clamp down, hoping to get the same response as before, that stretching out of his neck and shiver along his core.  Khan had enjoyed the sensations, even if his brain had then kicked in and told him that he wasn’t supposed to.

Jim wondered, even as he loosened his hold and began to dot tiny, wet kisses along the pale skin, if Khan wouldn’t actually like a lot more things during sex, if he would only allow himself.  Given how the augment felt everything so much more intensely, Jim could only speculate that having someone driving into his prostate over and over would be so intense form of heaven.  But it would also mean bottoming, and Khan might let Jim do a few things over his normal allowance but that … well, Jim liked his life, thank you.

A warm, pink blush sprung up from the bite, then spread through his neck and face as Khan groaned. It was still quite thrilling, but now that Khan had allowed himself to experience the bite, the subtle show of dominance from Jim, he was also forced to acknowledge that he liked it, too. It was something his brain would continue to struggle with, but for now, he gave into it, trusting Jim as he said he would.

"Ahhh- Jim." He said, tone strained as he tilted his head back, throat exposed, a small lump bobbing up, then down as he swallowed. His eyes were lightly closed now, lips parted as he breathed, letting himself be consumed by Jim and the feeling of his mouth. "That's good." He admitted, fingers tightening into Jim's sides, keeping him just where he was on his lap, but also to serve as an anchor for himself, keeping to his promise.

Jim chased the lump and caught it teasingly, sucking lightly for a moment, before lifting his head to look at the affect of everything on Khan.  The light pink pleased him, and he pressed his cheek into Khan’s for a moment to share the warmth of his blush.  “You’re so incredibly sexy, Noonien.  I love the way you look, flushed from my attentions.  Might have undersold you with the fantasy wet dream …”  He caught Khan’s mouth for a light series of almost teasing kisses.

His body folded neatly into Khan’s, held tight by the strong hands on his hips.  He pressed along his lover’s skin, molding close along every inch he could manage.  “I want you to take me from the side this time, lover,” he says, “so you can press all along my back when you’re inside me.”  It would also give Khan all the power of position, since Jim would basically be exposed and at his mercy.  He thought that might ease the other man’s emotions, since he was allowing Jim to explore more than he usually would.  “But not yet.  I want to build to this again.”

"Yes-" Khan hummed, biting then sucking on his own lip. He wanted to satisfy what Jim was craving; even though one moment he was asking to be treated roughly, and now in this moment, he was asking to be allowed to explore Khan further. So for now, Khan had to push thoughts of showing his power, being that fantasy Jim had referred to, out of his mind. He would try it this way. "Please Jim." Khan swallowed, "I enjoy your mouth on me. Don't stop."

Jim wiggled his hips very slightly in Khan’s hands and asked, “Will you let me move, Noonien?  I’d love to put my mouth all over you, but I have to move to do that.”  He scraped his teeth over the tilt of his chin, playful and sexy.  

It was a small, even simple request, but it took Khan some time to consider it. He liked holding onto Jim, he liked keeping him in his possession. Khan pulled his head up slightly at the bite, like some sort of defiant, stubborn horse. Huffing out of his nose, Khan let his arms drop, relaxing his hold on Jim, hands now to his sides and to himself. He kept his eyes on Jim now, not worried, but watchful. He was quiet, patient, and prepared to follow direction.

Jim waited quietly for Khan to decide, not pushing him in any way.  He smiled when the tight hold on his hips loosened enough to let him move and thanked Khan with the softest kisses all over his face.  He paused a moment to just look into his eyes and then said, “I am going to touch and kiss you everywhere you allow me, Noonien.”

He allowed Khan a brief moment to consider that and then peppered his face with another round of kisses, before biting on his left ear.  This sensitive curl of skin he gave lavish attention, murmuring even as he did, “I’m going to make you feel so good, Noonien, just like you did for me.  And by the time we get to the main event, I want you aching and leaking for my ass.”

A small shiver rolled down his back at the nibble to his ear. He swallowed again before speaking quietly, "Am I not to touch you then? You want me to wait, until I can't help myself?" Khan was willing, but preferred clarity about what Jim wanted. Even as he asked, Khan stuffed his hands under his thighs, trapping them against the mattress under him, keep himself from being tempted to reach out and pull or grab or hold Jim in the way he wanted.

Jim lifted his head and tilted it to regard Khan with frank curiosity.  “No, I had not meant that,” he admitted.  “Just that I wanted your pleasure to be at such heights that you could not wait to be inside me.”  He smoothed his hands down Khan’s torso again, a touch that brought him some small measure of comfort somehow.  And felt good beneath his palms, warm, soft and strong.  His lovely augment.

“I want you to do what’s comfortable for you, Noonien.  Touch where and how you want.  Or don’t.  As you please.”  He nosed over his Adam’s apple and pressed into the area of his pulse.  “I wish I might scent you the way the same way you can me.  Smell that we are family.”

Khan eased visibly now that he understood that Jim did not want him to stop being _him_. His shoulders relaxed as he glanced down, watching the hand roam over his chest and stomach. It made him smile to see how constantly curious and engaged Jim was with his body. "I forget sometimes that you can't." Khan said, nuzzling his head against Jim, then paused thoughtfully. Jim wanted reassurance that they were family? He wanted to feel the same connection, the same bond? Reaching up, Khan pressed his hand over Jim's chest, just over his heart. "I wish I could explain it to you." Khan laid out on his back, allowing himself to get comfortable even though it was not a usual position for him before he added, "Or simulate it."

“I’m just glad you can detect it still,” Jim confessed and rubbed their noses together playfully.  He stole a quick kiss to Khan’s mouth and then explored the other side of his neck, biting down again at the join of neck and shoulder.  He licked a stripe back up and then nosed down the front of his throat, feeling a hint of softness there.  By contrast, his collarbone was all firmness, and Jim nibbled a ticklish way across the entire span, before kissing the top of his shoulder.  He gnawed for a moment at the same patch of skin, before latching on more firmly and growling playfully, seeing what Khan would do.

Khan let out a soft gasp of approval, shoulders rolling back against the mattress, spine arching slightly as Jim continued to give his neck attention. His skin flushed pink again, everywhere Jim decided to dedicate his mouth. "Ahhh- that's good." He purred, eyes lightly closing again as he felt the rough tongue drag across his skin. Touching himself, Khan smoothed his hand over his own torso, only briefly playing with his own nipple, preferring instead to rest his hand on the flat of his stomach. His chest rose and fell steadily, though at the gnawing bite, his back arched and Khan visibly writhed on the bed with a groan, "Yes ... Jim."

“Biting kink,” Jim teased softly and licked over the mark.  He traced fingers over strong pecs and followed again with his mouth, mostly kissing and nibbling, but also adding in the unpredictable bite.  He didn't linger this time, trying to keep Khan guessing about what he’s going to experience next.  But he does keep a wary sense out for any indication his lover doesn’t like something.  the slightest flinch, tightening or unsatisfactory noise will make Jim back off.

He came to a strong arm and found a way into the pit, uncaring about any notions of unsexiness.  He tugged at the strong strands of hair and could smell Khan here, masculine and powerful.  “There you are,” he murmured.

"Is it any real surprise? All I ever want to do is sink my teeth into you." Khan said with a hum, sighing and overall looking quite pleased the more Jim used his mouth to explore his body. He tilted his head, watching Jim explore his underarm and smiled, even laughed with a little thrill that Jim wanted to smell him like this, to saturate his nose and lungs with his scent.

“But you like being bitten in return,” Jim said, lacing the fingers of his left hand with Khan’s right.  He urged the man to raise his arm slowly, as Jim explored his way up the muscles.  He lingered at the bony knob of elbow, simply because it could hardly be considered sexy, either.  But he moved upward in a moment, seeking Khan’s hand, the long, slender fingers.  Each of these, he drew into his mouth, starting with his pinky.  At the thumb, he paused, grinned devilishly and then stuck the whole thing in his mouth like a toddler.  But there was nothing childish in the way he sucked.

Allowing Jim to move him, Khan simply watched, curious as to the way Jim seemed to examine his body. He felt like he was being inspected, maybe even sampled, though in either case did not feel threatened by it in the least. He kept his eyes on Jim, bewildered and amused by his actions. His fingers remained relaxed and complacent to the way Jim was sucking on them, instead of grabbing Jim by the tongue or forcing to gag his mouth. And even though Khan was slightly confused by this new behavior, he allowed it, willing and trusting Jim just as he said.

Jim drew off with a loud popping noise and looked at Khan with his own kind of bemusement.  “The only one seeming to get anything out of this is me,” he said.  “I’m making myself hotter than hell, and you’re looking at me like I’m some sort of strange insect.”  He laughed softly at the irony and then leaned in to kiss Khan soundly and with great enthusiasm.  “You’re impossible.”

"I am sorry. It is not my intention to be difficult, Jim." Khan said. He was apologetic, but he was also not about to fake erotic responses for a technique he did not understand. Reaching over, Khan pawed at his side, fingering the skin from his hip up to the curve of his ribs. "Lay with me?" He asked, wanting to feel Jim in his arms.

Internally, Jim was actually not that pleased to discover that Khan was completely untouched by things that drove other people crazy.  It was somewhat humiliating to have so completely failed at something he was usually an expert at.  In most situations, he might have demanded to keep going or even detoured away from the sex with (or without) aplomb.  But this was a unique situation, so he pushed away his annoyance for later.  He rolled with Khan’s guidance to be in his arms and waited, figuring he might as well leave it up to the other man now.

Seeing that he had perhaps bruised Jim's ego, Khan wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close so that Jim was half laying against his chest. Breathing steadily under him, Khan pet his fingers down his sides, then flat against his back. Even though things had turned slightly awkward, Khan was still affectionate, still his 'Loving Noonien'. Kissing his forehead, Khan then spoke gently, "Do not be upset."

“Of course I’m going to be upset,” Jim said with a self-deprecating snort.  “I haven’t been that much of a failure with a partner since I was twelve.”  He tried to relax under Khan’s gentle ministrations, though, not wanting the entire encounter to devolve into something unpleasant again.  “You really didn’t like that at all …”

Maybe it was a technique that worked well with modern partners, but Khan had not experienced it before and had simply felt awkward watching Jim go through the motions. "It wasn't horrible." Khan attempted to be delicate, though it was perhaps too late for that. "But you seemed to want more of a reaction from me then I could give." Khan frowned to himself, eyes cast down on Jim's shoulder where his fingers brushed over the curve of muscle. "In a way, you are much more experienced then me, Captain ... you are familiar with many tricks, that I perhaps do not know how to appreciate." He said, attempting to take some of the blame so that Jim did not beat himself up over this. "Please, you do not have to try so hard." Which Khan had mentioned before, but Jim still seemed quite intent on trying to impress him.

Jim wouldn't have called that trying very hard, especially not after all the trouble Khan went to, but it was what it was.  As the Vulcans said, _kaiidth_.  There was no sense pushing Khan to enjoy something he just didn’t …

But it left him at something of a loose end.  Khan just couldn’t give up control enough to let Jim lead the way.  And Jim didn’t really feel like some of the other scenarios he’d pitched tonight.  He needed the right mood to be held down and taken roughly, though it was something he enjoyed.

“It’s not your fault,” Jim said with another shrug.  “You don’t like what you don’t like.  That’s no shame on you.”  He gave an internal sigh and asked, “What would you like?”

Of course Khan had difficulty giving up control, but in time, if Kirk remained encouraging, Khan might eventually given in and learn to enjoy himself. But that was something for the long term and not easily accomplished during the course of one evening. "I would like to sleep with you, Captain. To lay with you, in private. I would like to remain in your bed, if you will allow it." In a way, Khan missed their time on the planet together. Not the sickness of course, but the chance for companionship, to know that they could end each day in one another's arms.

Jim thumbed over Khan’s right cheek, somewhat chastened by the request.  “Yes, you’re very welcome to spend the night, Noonien.  I meant ... would you like to get off again?”  He glanced down at Khan’s groin, where his cock had hardened again at one point.  “The one isn’t tied to the other ... in case I haven’t been clear about that.  I’m happy just to sleep together.  I’ll probably even ask for that sometimes.  It’s a luxury I have not enjoyed very often.”

"I presumed." Khan admitted, "If you were satisfied by the way things played out, that I would be allowed to stay. But I feel I have not made you very happy in these last few minutes, so I was not certain that you would permit it." Khan leaned into the touch, lightly closing his eyes as he nuzzled into the hand, attempting to kiss his wrist. It was more important to him to be able to stay the night with Kirk, to lay at his side, rather than attempt to get off again and risk spoiling things further.

Having previously pulled all the blankets onto the floor, Khan reached over Jim and drew him closer, hips and stomachs pressed against the other to conserve their warmth, arms wrapped around him the best he could manage in place of blankets. He was still half hard just from being pressed up against Jim, but it was clear he was prepared to ignore it.

“Ok, fuck no, that’s not how it works,” Jim said, feeling a wave of anger for Khan, that he would have been treated that way.  (Or had he treated others that way?)  “I wouldn’t throw you out because we’re still a little awkward about this.  I’m not that much of an asshole.”  He frowned at the idea that he was considered such by the man he’d asked to be his lover.  

As Khan cradled him closer, Jim wiggled a little to find the most comfortable alignment, which naturally pressed their groins together.  He felt the heaviness of Khan’s cock bump his own and moaned softly.  And then he lifted a leg to grip Khan’s hip and began to thrust slowly against him, asking for nothing more that this most natural of intimate movements.  “Like this?”

Khan blinked at the explosive language and sudden outrage. "You seem to feel this is common knowledge, but it is not obvious to me. We come from different backgrounds, Jim- and though I enjoy our common ground, we have different rules about things." Khan smoothed his hand over Jim's side with a little smile as he hooked his leg over him.

"I simply want us to be of a like mind about what we've started. I want to make you happy, and you want to make me happy, agreed?" Khan pressed their lips together cautiously.

“No, I’m sorry; I wasn’t angry at you.  Just at anybody who might have treated you that way.”  Jim kissed Khan’s lips lightly, as the augment initiated the contact.  “We are obviously different, but that’s all right.  We’ll work our way through this because we both do want to do right by each other.”  He wrapped an arm over Khan’s shoulders and thrust a little more into his lover, hoping to feel him respond.  This was a language he thought they both could understand and agree on.  “Please.”

Khan nodded, yes, they would work through this, and yes, he very much approved of the way Jim was grinding up against him. "Yes- I think so." He said softly, pressing another few light kisses to Jim's lips. "That feels good." He purred, cock twitching to life again the more Jim rubbed. He did still want Jim's scent on him, and since they were both laying on their sides, facing one another as equals, Khan could allow himself to enjoy it without feeling like Jim was trying to dominate him. Slowly smoothing his hand down Jim's thigh, then between their bodies, Khan wrapped his fingers around both their erections, so that their shafts were pressed against the other. "Keep going."

“Don’t want to stop now,” Jim said and pressed his forehead to Khan’s, moaning happily as a strong hand took hold of him and caused their erections to rub even more firmly against each other.  “This- this is good?” he asked, wanting to hear the words, as well as feel the response.  He had always been a vocal lover, anyway, so talking during sex was second nature to him.  His breath hitched on a particularly good thrust, which made his body hum with pleasure.  “We can just keep doing this…”

In contrast, Khan was not vocal. But he was learning, he was trying. "Very good ... my Jim." Khan hummed as they pressed their foreheads together, exchanging soft gasps against the others skin. "Keep going, my lover- I want to feel you come against me ... I want to feel your body tremble in my arms as you let go." He said, precum dripping out of the head of his own erection, starting to make the tips of both their cocks slick.

Jim appreciated the effort Khan was making to be vocal, to tell him how he felt and what he enjoyed.  A bit of talk in bed always did wonders to his already incredible libido, and Jim felt his balls tighten, ready to release again at his command.  But he hated to be done so soon again, even though his body was starting to sweat a little, releasing a musky odor between them. He was also leaking copiously, another common occurrence for him.  He’d always appreciated the way it made everything slick and that much easier.

“Noonien,” he gasped and pushed his body a little harder, thrusting that much more, knowing Khan could handle it easily.  “Close.  So close.  You’re so hot, lover.”

"Oh, yes-" Khan praised as Jim wound himself up. His fingers flexed gently around them, pulsating lightly with every thrust. He gave a playful lick at Jim's lips, encouraging him, "Give me a bite, Jim ... give me a bite, and I'll come with you." He said, his other hand tightening against Jim's back, not wanting him to pull away now that they were both worked up again.

Jim growled softly at that encouragement, located a promising target on the curve of Khan’s elegant neck, and bit down hard, using teeth.  He released at the same time, set off by the idea of Khan wanting to be bitten and of having his augment come with him, equals in this, too.  And he did indeed tremble in Khan’s arms, giving him exactly what he’d wanted that way.  Made a mess, too, as if he were a teenager again.  Pulse after pulse between their warm skin, the feeling of Khan’s hand that much more intense.

"Ah-!" Khan caught his breath at the bite, the muscles in his back twisting as nerves sparked up and down his spine. Growling as well, Khan pressed his face into Jim's shoulder with a muffled whine, hips snapping once before his body shuddered, coming hotly between their stomachs, leaving them both slick and spent. After a moment, Khan wiped his hand clean over Jim's hip before wrapping his arm around his lower back, holding him close with a sigh, breathing through the last pulsing throbs of his orgasm.

Jim drifted in post-orgasmic haze for a few moments, not protesting any of Khan’s movements as he allowed his body to just tingle pleasantly.  “That was awesome,” he murmured finally and snuggled into Khan.  “Thank you, Noonien.”  He lazily pressed a kiss to whatever skin was closest to hand, lingering for a moment to lick lightly at the taste.  

Khan seemed to settle, eyes lightly closed and relaxed at the kiss and lick to his skin. "Mmm." He was quite pleased, saturated with the scent of both of them. "Are you comfortable?" He asked after a moment, "Or should I retrieve the blankets?" Jim's care was still on his mind, though if they could stay in this embrace, all the better.

“You might suffice,” Jim said, lifting his head to look at Khan through bleary eyes.  “You’re kind of a furnace.  Nice and warm.”  He yawned and blinked a few times at his lover.  “You wore me out that time.”  He snuggled back into Khan, finding a comfortable spot instantly.

Khan kissed Jim on the side of the face, then once on the neck before tucking their heads together. "I am pleased to hear it." He said gently, more then willing to play the role of warm blanket for the both of them. "Good night, my Captain." He added, very quietly against the skin of his shoulder.


	13. Returning the Favor

Jim looked over the spread he had set-up for a dinner with Khan, pleased with the decor and culinary choices.  Uhura had helped him select the decorations, while chef prepared some traditional and unusual Indian dishes for Khan’s palate.  He had put together the presentation, with some additional help from Yeoman Rand, as well as dressed himself in casual, yet elegant, attire.  The gold vest, a deliberate play on his command shirt, hugged his shoulders and left his entire chest bare and open, and the loose harem pants led obviously to the fact that his feet were bare.  All in all, he looked as edible as the food.  

He just hoped Khan thought so.

Having set-up the dinner date well in advance, he waited for Bones to bring Khan to his quarters.  Bringing the good doctor in on his plans had led to a lot of teasing, but it was worth it anyway.  He wanted his senior staff to be more comfortable with his lover and their relationship.

Having altered a set of white bed sheets to the contours of his body, Khan walked down the passageway with Doctor McCoy, feeling more like an ambassador, an honored guest, rather then a prisoner. Khan had taken the time to drape the fabric over one shoulder, down his back, then around his hips, folded and stitched by hand with utter precision so that the hem fell to the floor, just covering his feet and ankles without dragging on the ground. He looked every bit the part of a young prince, a royal, untouched by the unclean.

After all, Khan had taken the subject of a dinner together, a date, very seriously. He had spent extra time to prepare himself, not just in dress, but also on finer details such as polishing and trimming his nails, and even finding a few oils and spices he could make into a perfume. He wanted to look good for Kirk, to remain a worthy companion since this sort of coupling, dinner dates, was not something he had been previously exposed to. Having willing lovers in his bed, yes; but being treated to a formal dinner, no.

Dr. McCoy stopped outside of Jim’s quarters and looked at Khan with an appraising stare, before nodding once.  “I appreciate that you’re both taking this so seriously.  Jim will be pleased with your appearance.  I know he spent some time on his own, as well.  You should ring.”

"Doctor." Khan regarded McCoy with a respectful nod. When the doctor had been sent to fetch him, Khan had expected a lecture of some sort, or at least have him express some note of disapproval, but instead he seemed somewhat accepting of the situation. Glancing down, Khan gathered himself up quietly, posture perfect and every seem just where he wanted it to lay before he rang the intercom that buzzed the captain's quarters.  

Jim looked up as the buzzer rang and walked swiftly to the door.  “Come,” he called, as he neared the entrance.  He stood at attention and awaited his lover, almost giddy with anticipation.  “Noonien,” he greeted his lover and moved for a kiss, before standing aside to allow him to see the preparations.

At the sight of Jim dressed in gold and in his vest, Khan grinned, a playful sense of joy coming to his eyes. "Jim." He said fondly, kissing him once, lightly on the lips, then allowed himself to touch the other man on his side before kissing him again, this time on the side of his jaw.

"Very impressive, Captain." He said as he stepped in, head up and eyes examining each colorful detail of reds and golds, very lively, festive and powerful colors. He smiled fondly at a few of the familiar decorations, seeing that Jim had done his research well. Though after a moment, his nose picked up on a familiar mix of spicy and sweet. "Smells lovely."

“You look amazing,” Jim said, taking in Khan’s outfit with obvious appreciation.  “I hope you’ll tell me something about the history behind the look, as we eat.”  He gestured his guest forward, to the festive table.  “Please, have a seat and let me pour you some honey water.  Or there’s wine, if you prefer.”

He escorted Khan to his chair and pulled it out for him with a warm smile.  “My privilege, as the host, to serve you.”

The bright glow to his eyes remained and Khan smiled a little more easily at this gesture. He pressed his hand to Jim's back, a touch of thanks and affection, recognition for his efforts before he smoothly took a seat in the offered chair. "What you drink, I shall drink." Khan said, adjusting one of the folds over his shoulder that began to slip once he was seated. "Jim." He said looking up at the man, elegant neck exposed as he turned his head, "This is exceptional."

“Thank you, Noonien,” Jim said with a brilliant grin for his lover.  “I confess that I had help with the set-up, but I wanted to make sure I got it right for us both.”  He gestured to the decorations.  “Lt. Uhura helped me with the decor, and of course, Chef with the dishes.  I picked them out, though.  I hope you like my choices.”  He poured them each some wine and then took his seat across from his lover.  “To us,” he said, raising his glass to Khan.

"To us." Khan accepted the toast, "And to you, for honoring me as your guest." He added with a little smile before taking a sip of wine. It had been a long time since alcohol had passed his lips, but he found the flavor just the right amount of tart and sweet. He licked his lips, eyes locked on Jim now, "And your attire? Did you have assistance with that as well?"

“Nah, that’s all me,” Jim said with a patented grin.  “Do you like it?  I know it’s not exactly traditional …”  He glanced down at his bare feet.  “I even entertained the idea of an anklet ... but then I chickened out.”

Khan hummed, clearly pleased that Jim would invent this style himself. "It is very flirtatious of you, nevertheless." He took another small sip of wine before setting down the glass. "I admit, my attire is not perfectly traditional either, but it is what I could fashion from the supplies I had access to. Though I doubt you mind."

“I’m pretty blown away by what you’ve done with standard Starfleet bedding,” Jim admitted, eyes exploring Khan covetously.  “It’s designed after something you used to wear?” he guessed, licking his lips a little.  “You’re dressed like a prince and I’m ... really not.”  He flashed the flirty smile, all for Khan right now.  “If you wanted something more traditional, you have but to ask.  I’m sure we could get you something.”

"The attire is something similar to what I would wear in my day, yes." Not on the battlefield of course. "It has both Indian and Muslim influences, which I favor, and to be quite honest, it perhaps a bit more feminine then what would generally be considered acceptable, but as I said- it was what I could manage. But for you, I do not mind the indiscretion." He smiled, wanting Jim to know that only he got to see this private side of him.

“Well, you look every inch a monarch in it, and not at all feminine,” Jim said.  “Frankly, I can’t think of many men who are less feminine than you are, of the human variety anyway.”  He gestured to the food.  “Please, help yourself, Noonien.  There’s a little bit of all of India represented here, and I can’t wait to hear if you like the selection.  We substituted a few spices here and there for as close as we could manage, but everything else is authentic.”

"Thank you, Captain." Khan said. It was a soothing stroke to his ego that Jim saw the sovereign, the ruler, that still resided within him, just under the surface. The compliment was appreciated, as it gave Khan some small assurance that he could still be a  symbol to his people that he was meant to represent.

Gracefully Khan began to serve himself from the different dishes on the table. "You have honored me with quite a feast. Are we to celebrate something?" Khan asked, passing the plates between them.

“Not in the traditional sense,” Jim said, filling his own plate, “but I wanted to do something special for you.  For us.  And I think navigating our way through the interesting path that is our relationship is worth celebrating.  We’re not perfect, but we’re doing our damndest for each other.”  He sipped his own wine, gratified by the flavor, since he was by no means a connoisseur and had chosen through some research.  “And I’m glad you approve.”  

He stretched out one leg and rubbed his foot teasingly over Khan’s, toes nimble and playful.  “As I mentioned in the invitation, I wanted to offer you a full massage after dinner.  Something to soothe and relax you completely …”

With a knife in one hand and a torn piece of naan bread in the other, Khan took his first few experimental bites. "Hm." He smiled and then looked across the table to Jim, "I had not realized how much I have missed these sorts of meals, until now, being able to enjoy these comfort foods." He ate a little more, rewarding his pallet with the familiar flavors before speaking again. "I may not be able to return the gesture right away, not if you spoil me like this, I will be too relaxed."

“Getting to like this being spoiled thing, are we?” Jim teased, tearing into a piece of naan bread.  He took great care when eating in the presence of others, fighting always the instinct to protect his food and stuff it in as fast as possible.  It had taken a few years of training after Tarsus to get him to eat normally again, but the instincts were still there.  He wondered if there was a noticeable tell to someone like Khan, whose eyes saw so much.  But the thought was easily set aside to enjoy his company.  “I am rather fond of the lentil soup .... _masoor dal_ , I believe is the right name.”  He looked to Khan for confirmation.

"I do enjoy it, Jim, because I do not expect it. Do not take offence." Khan smiled a little. Despite how he held himself or the tone in which he spoke, Khan did not expect anyone to treat him like a prince, like a god among men, not any more. And he doubted very much his people would see him in the same way once they were awoken; then again, Khan saw himself differently as well. His time with Admiral Marcus, his war against Starfleet, then his alliance with Kirk and the Enterprise had changed him. He was not quite the same man as the one who went to sleep over three hundred years ago.

"Correct-" Khan brightened further, "You have a good tongue for the language." He was touched at the effort Jim had gone through to not only arrange this dinner and the decorations, but certainly also the time he likely spent studying the different foods, learning their names and ingredients.

“Uhura hates to admit it, but I was second only to her in the xenolinguistics,” Jim said with a smile that bordered on smirk.  He took another spoonful of soup and added, “The spiciness is just about right for me.  A bit of bite without flaming out my mouth.  I don’t have quite the ability to handle spices as Chekov or Spock.”

“As for spoiling you, well, I’m finding it rather fun,” Jim said, trying to emphasize that he took no offense at all.  “I have laid out a broad selection of massage oils for you to choose from, as well.  All of them tailored to be manly.”  He tipped a wink to his dining partner.

"Well, it appears I am in your hands this evening." Khan said, tone relaxed, eyes drifting over his lover across the table, then down back at his own meal. He ate and moved at his own speed in such a way that all else was ignored, suggesting that if a knife were to his throat and someone yelling in his ear, it would all go ignored in favor of enjoying the meal Jim had organized for him. Midway through, Khan cleansed his palate with a bit more bread then a few sips of wine, sitting back in his chair with a content sigh. "Would you consider this a date, Jim?"

Jim chuckled and said, “Yes, this is very much a date, Noonien.  And as such, it’s a pretty rare occasion for me, but I hope my noveau status doesn’t show through too badly.”  He finished his wine and set the glass aside for the moment.  “There are also a selection of desserts, for later.  I was wondering if you might like to take a stroll around the Enterprise after dinner, to relax and work off a little of dinner, before we head to the next stage.”

"Lovely." Khan commented at the suggestion of a stroll and dessert. Though he stood now, each drape of fabric falling into place, with not a single food stain. He walked around the small table to touch his hand to Jim's shoulder, teasing the cord of his vest with a little grin, enjoying the texture. "I only ask, because I have never been on a date before."

Jim reached up and tangled their fingers, squeezing once gently in response to the notion that this was Khan’s first time.  “Never?  What have you done before then?”  He rose with a little less grace, but still his own form of elegance, leaned on the chair with one knee and urged Khan down for a light kiss.  “Seductions?  Assignations?  Simple sex?  Or maybe not-so-simple, since it’s you.”

"I have had ... encounters." Khan said with a little frown, not entirely sure how to name what it was he once had. "But not this." He said, reaching up to hold Jim by the back of his neck, smiling again before leaning in for a kiss. Both their lips now sweet with wine and spicy from dinner. "I enjoy what you've given me, Captain."

“Encounters,” Jim purred back and pressed into the hand on his neck, a seductive weight, as opposed to a threatening one.  “You have a way of making everything sound mysterious ... and sexy.”  He squeezed their joined fingers again, before turning them around as he stood.  They ended up holding hands, and he looked to Khan again.  “Is this all right?”

"Yes." Khan confirmed, nodding slightly before he too gave their fingers a light squeeze. It was a joining of a different kind, one that Khan could not recall ever indulging in before. Both innocent and intimate, it was a way to show support of the other, to imply that strength was still there if it was needed, and a way to keep them connected. Lifting their hands, Khan kissed Jim on his thumb before giving another light squeeze, hoping to remain intertwined like this for a while longer.

“Then let’s go look at my Gray Lady,” Jim said with obvious enthusiasm.  He kept their hands joined as he headed out of his quarters, thinking he would start with the quieter lower decks, where he didn’t venture as often, but which held a few cool things to show off and end in Engineering, which was always bustling, and full of things Jim loved.  And it would give him time to gauge how comfortable Khan was with this kind of PDA.

As soon as they passed the threshold from Jim's private chambers to the hallway, Khan hesitated slightly, his demeanor going slightly rigid. Touching and kissing and holding was all well and good behind closed doors, in private, but being public with it seemed quite unnatural. If this were Khan's ship and his crew, being so open about his attachment to Jim would not be very safe, nor respected. Behind closed doors such things were acceptable, so even just passing the threshold was a jarring experience for Khan. It was against the grain of what he understood to be appropriate. That, and it sent him mixed signals about his position. As Jim's lover, was he no longer considered a prisoner? Had his status changed? "Captain?" Khan paused, the two of them barely making it down the hall before Khan asked for clarification. He looked uncertain, perhaps even worried. "Am I your guest?" He asked, searching Jim's face in order to better understand where he stood. He needed to know now, before they went on any further. If in the company of his crewmen, Jim would pull away from him, disassociating from their union, Khan wanted to know these rules now, to be prepared for them.

“My guest?” Jim asked, turned toward Khan, glad for this moment, this clarification.  He smiled a little at his lover and squeezed his fingers gently.  “You risked your life for my crew, Khan.  Everyone knows it.  Other than the formality of Starfleet regulations, you’d be in your own room, opposed to a brig.  And if you’re stuck with us for a few more months, I’ll move you out of there, too.  So, yes, you’re a guest of the Enterprise now.  A working guest, but a guest, nonetheless.”  He lifted their joined hands and kissed Khan’s knuckles.  “The important people know about us now, too- Spock, Bones, Sulu, most of my senior staff.  I had to tell them.  It is the ship’s business because of the nature of your current status.  And they may not all understand, exactly, but they all support me ... and this.”  

“I’m not ashamed of you, Noonien.  I want the rest of my crew to see and know.  Know that I care about you and support you in all things,” Jim said.  “There’s a lot to be said for seeing is believing.  Those crewmembers who haven’t gotten to know you will have a chance to see their captain’s support.  However, if you prefer that we don’t make it so obvious, I’m content to just stroll by your side.  That’s support, too.”

The trust Kirk was showing Khan was extraordinary, and he did not take it lightly. The declaration had silenced him. Kirk wanted to show his crew that Khan, and by extension, his people, were not the enemy. That not only was he an ally, but a intimate partner as well. He imagined that it had not been an easy decision for Kirk, needing to determine if Khan would turn on them again. If their private issues would get in the way or not. Or if letting Khan off leash a bit would have him run wild or more responsible.

"Jim." Khan said with a pleased sigh, shaking his head slightly. It was still quite a shock. More than the dinner and decorations, or Jim dressed like some sort of belly dancing stable boy. Leaning in, Khan pressed the sides of their faces together, nuzzling once, then just lingering, breathing in and out softly before wrapping his free arm around the other man, hugging him gently. "Thank you." He added, eyes closed, holding this embrace for a moment.

Clearing his throat, Khan eased back again, but kept their hands together, fingers locked. The public union would remain obvious, Khan's allegiance and support of Kirk would be known, as would Kirk's trust in Khan. "Now, show me your Gray Lady."

Jim wrapped his arms around Khan a bit more tightly, just being quietly affectionate with the older man.  “It’s for me to thank you, as well,” he said.  “This has been a learning curve for us both, and an opportunity to develop much better relations, and I don’t just mean intimate ones.”  He cleared his throat and looked a little embarrassed.  “I am weirdly dressed for this serious of a conversation.”  He grinned again, knowing his crew understood the peculiarities of their captain.  

The mention of his ship made his smile practically beaming, and he tugged lightly at Khan’s hand to urge him on.  “Yes, she’s my one true girl.  She’s taken quite a beating in her short tenure, but I feel safer in her than anywhere else.  For all that the Vengeance was mightier, I wouldn't trade the Enterprise for it or any other vessel.”

"Your manner of dress is ... different," Khan agreed, "but you have the confidence for it, so I was not going to mention anything." He said with a little smile, following Jim in stride quite easily. "Thank you for making your position clear, Captain." He added after they started down the hall again. "I realize that my manner often appears formal or title-obsessed, but these are important distinctions for me." The social pyramid and pecking order had shifted, and Khan was beginning to understand where he stood, not just with Jim, but with the rest of the crew of the Enterprise.

"The Vengeance had a short life in the end." Khan said, still quite fond of the ship he had designed, even if he refrained from mentioning it. "The Enterprise has proven herself a survivor, she will endure through time, I am certain."

“She’s going to need to be a survivor, if past experience has any bearing on the future,” Jim admitted.  He considered Khan’s words for a moment, even as he led him into one of the turbolifts, thinking the geology labs would be a fun place to start.  They always had amazing samples collected from different planets.  

“Class has never really meant anything to me, but things are very different on Earth now than they used to be, of course,” Jim said.  “The first time I felt a class distinction was when Starfleet recruits would mock me for being a farm hick.  Course, they didn’t know I could outfight and out-think them.”  He flashed one of his cockier grins at his partner.  “But I’m trying to understand better how you view things.  I’ll need to be able to do that, if I’m going to be a successful explorer.”

Khan took this as an invitation and opportunity to talk about such things openly, so he continued. "I would not consider it a subject of class so much, but as a matter of rank." He began, glancing to the side to gauge Kirk's genuine interest on the issue. "I associate class with the caste system, which in my time, we obliterated completely. All were equal. Which meant being an equal contributor, as well as equal in accountability." Though Khan attempted not to linger on the past so much, knowing that had led to several of their fights before. "But rank is important to me." He went on to clarify. "It is difficult to imagine a situation, for example, where I would use informal titles. Where you call Doctor McCoy by the familiar term, Bones, I never could, no matter how good friends we might be."

“Well, I think that’s as much me as a change in protocol,” Jim said with a friendly bump of their shoulders.  “The way I became captain ... almost everyone here is my age.  We were cadets together and became a crew together in two trials by fire.  I view them as my friends, as much as my crew.  But I don’t think that’s ever going to change …”  He frowned a little, stepping off the lift and heading down the corridor, still linked by their hands.  “I’m pretty sure I’m not going to make it to an age old enough where it’ll get awkward.”

Khan nodded slightly in understanding. His own people, his crew, were his family, but ranks and titles and where they stood with one another was still very important. Even those that appeared informal on the surface, were in fact labels; such as Khan being considered a father figure, while others were viewed as sons or daughters. "I will take that as a matter of your stubbornness and not an issue of your mortality." Khan said, also quite stubborn.

Jim glanced at Khan and then leaned in to press a quick peck to his cheek.  “Thank you, darling,” he said, as the door opened to their deck.  He headed for the main geology lab, explaining as he did, “I thought we could start with some of the Enterprise’s true nerds.  You don’t go into geology thinking you’re going to score a high rank or even scientific fame, at least outside of your field.  So, these folks all do it for the true love of the work, which is awesome.  It makes me respect them all that much more.”

Jim entered the main lab doors and waved a cheery hello at all of the assembled crew, who snapped to attention when their captain strolled in.  Several of them cast a wary or wondering eye toward Khan, but once Jim assured them this was a friendly visit, they all returned to work.  He tugged Khan toward their mineral storage, saying, “We have some really neat rocks I’m allowed to play with.”

Attempting to defuse some of the tense looks he got, Khan smiled politely, though gave most of the staff their space. Even so, he listened to their conversations in the background as they called out observations to one another from a joint project they were apparently overlooking.

"Allowed?" Khan prompted with a gentle tease. "So- nothing that will leave acid burns on your hands or combust in this oxygen rich environment." He gave Jim a brush of his hand against his back as he passed behind him, looking over his shoulder at the equipment and some of the samples that were currently out on display.

“Or that anybody needs for experiments or further research,” Jim said, carefully unlocking the mineral closet and stepping inside.  “But that still leaves a diversity of options for me.”  He smiled at the site of some many different colored rocks, gems, crystals and other lovely (and rather dull) minerals and geologic oddities.  He picked up a small, blue rock and held it out to Khan.  “This is from a small moon that we mapped a few months ago.  There was nothing particularly amazing about it, except that it’s from another world’s moon.  And that’s just cool.”   

Khan grinned at this. "Good to see that the mysteries of the universe have not lost their luster or appeal." Accepting the sample, Khan held the relatively light rock, letting it roll from one side to the next in the palm of his hand. "Clearly you are on the right career track, exploring all things new, from moon rocks to civilizations."

“I get excited about the little things,” Jim agreed.  “The universe is so huge, and we’ll never see so much of it.  I just want to get to as many places as I can and learn a bit about all of them.”  He turned and carefully pulled what appeared to be a tube of squeezed toothpaste, except that it was made of rock.  “This is one of my favorites, and I might steal it someday to decorate my quarters.”  He tilted it to let Khan look at all sides.  “It’s a worm burrow!  Fossilized.  We got this on Ceti Beta Seven, which is a class L planet now, but used to be teeming with life.  They’re signs of an ancient civilization, who built things like pyramids.  Only more technologically advanced.  It was hard to leave there, but we were only one of the original exploratory missions.  The real work was going to take place over years, not weeks.”

"Someone has to take the first steps." Khan noted. He could see that Kirk was interested in knowing everything about ... everything, but he did not necessarily have the patience for it. He was not a: settle in a research the planet for twenty months, kind of explorer. Never mind, a settle down and have a family sort, either. He wanted answers, and he wanted them yesterday. Truly though, he was in a good position for his personality. He could benefit from the research of others, without having to wait around for it himself, he could follow up years later, as the inspiration or curiosity took him. "It is intriguing however, all that has been lost over the years, barely a blip in the timeline of this universe ... entire worlds and civilizations, come and gone, before we learned how to blow our noses."

“Just as much as those that currently survive,” Jim agreed earnestly.  “And that’s what the Federation, what Starfleet, should really be about- exploration and knowledge. Sure, we’re going to run into species who don’t like us or agree with us, and we’re going to have to deal with that, too, but that should be the tiniest fraction of our actual mission.”  He looked into Khan’s face and reached out to push a strand of hair, the only one that seemed to dare be unruly, off of his forehead.  “Your crew, you, I feel like you have just as much to teach me, too.  About our history, shared and different.  You’re amazing, and not just because you’re better, but because of how different we are.  Three hundred years is not even a blink of an eye to the universe, but look how much humans evolved in that time!”  He paused and then frowned a little, nose wrinkling.  “And didn’t, too.”

As Jim reached out to groom him, Khan allowed his eyes to lightly close, just appreciating the hand against his face. He smiled a little, surprised and touched that Jim would now admit that Khan and his people were better in their selective engineering. "For the most part, humanity has come a long way." Khan agreed. Though his time with Admiral Marcus and those under his command would always leave a bitter taste in his mouth, humanity was far from perfect, but had indeed matured with messages of hope and idealism. "When I knew humans last, you could barely embrace your own people, divided by foolish notions of race or gender. But now you embrace alien species as friends and equals, new philosophies, and much broader definitions of life. It is impressive."

“It took a long time to get over some of our deeply ingrained prejudices and fears,” Jim said.  “It helped that Vulcans were the first ones to reach out to us, even though their lack of visible emotion was a little hard for some of the first members of Starfleet to take.  You should hear Admiral Archer tell stories.”  He grinned a little and shook his head.  “My hope now is that we add even more species to the Federation and Starfleet.  The more diversity, the better for us all.

He put away the worm and pulled out a small box, opening it to reveal a few tiny pieces of sparkling gemstones.  “One of the rarest treasures on Orion,” he said.  “Hard enough to get naturally, but given our rather strained relationship, these are some of the hardest minerals to come by.  You know for these chips, you could purchase almost fifteen slaves?”  He scowled at the notion.  “We’ll end up in a showdown with them someday soon.  The current situation can’t last …”

"Hm." Khan turned over a thought in his head. How would first contact have gone, if it were Khan and the other augments that the Vulcans had first encountered on Earth, lording over humanity, though possibly by then the two species would have interbred or evolved in such ways that nothing was left to chance and humans were engineered like the augments had been. Would the Vulcans find this logical? Would they have been allies? Though after a moment, Khan banished such hypotheticals from his mind, they were not relevant; the facts of human and augment history had already played out. His role was diminishing, tapering off to something less grand.

Touching a hand to Jim's back, Khan stood close. He shared the distasteful notion of slavery and sighed, "Perhaps by your next encounter they will have evolved, somewhat. Having been introduced to alternative ways of thinking and existing. Perhaps they will see that, in the end, slavery is not a sustainable nor economical business practice, if the morality of it has no value to them."

“Positive thinking,” Jim said with a grin.  “I like it.”  He put away the box with a quiet air and pulled out something round- a silicon nodule.  “This is a Horta egg,” he said with a fond grin.  “We found these little suckers on Janus VI.  It’s a great big mining colony, rich in pergium and thought to be uninhabited.  Unfortunately, the miners destroyed thousands of these without knowing what they were, and the Mother Horta killed a few of them trying to stop the destruction, before we realized what was happening.  We managed successful first contact, and now, there are thousands more of the little guys.  And they've expressed an interest in Starfleet, once they've aged a few years.  Like a hundred.  Horta live to be thousands of years old, apparently.”  He held out the module for Khan to look over.  “This one was infertile.”

"It was still regarded as acceptable to take this?" Khan asked with a slightly confused look. Infertile or not, it was still life, wasn't it? And now it was being held in the geology department of a Starship far from home. A strange rush of anxiety filled Khan just then. He was identifying with the silicon based life form on some level. After all, he knew what it meant to be displaced, then separated from his people, held captive and alone. "If this is a life form, why does the Enterprise have it in a science lab?" Khan asked, even sounding angry now.

Caught by surprise by the anger, Jim shook his head and tried to soothe, “The Mother Horta told us that infertile eggs are pure silica all the way through with no chance of ever becoming a life form.  Like an empty eggshell, really.  One that never had the embryo inside.  She gave us permission to take a few to study and understand her people better.  Some of them are in life sciences laboratories and others, like this one, are in geological labs.”  

He put a gentle hand on Khan’s arm and stroked lightly, trying to calm his anxieties.  “After all the inadvertent harm that had been done to the Hortas, we certainly didn't want to do any deliberate harm.  We wouldn't have taken the eggs without permission.  And certainly none that might have hatched.”

Khan listened carefully, watching Kirk as he spoke. He trusted his words and was satisfied that no wrong had been done. Khan finally eased, but the fact that he had been so quick to anger, to get defensive, was merely a sad side effect of just how much Admiral Marcus had wrecked Khan's notion of good in humanity. Kirk and the crew of the Enterprise were doing well to correct the bitterness Khan felt, but it was still a long term work in progress. "Very good." Khan said simply, backing off from the subject.

Jim reached up and stroked Khan’s face tenderly, not liking the slightly wild expression he still wore. “One of my prouder moments, when I found myself alone and facing the wounded and angry Mother Horta ... and I couldn't shoot her.”  He didn't add that it had been in the same way he couldn't just blow up Khan.  “She found a way to communicate with us to let us know what had happened.  Well, she and Spock found a way.  And after that it was all good.”  His smile brightened even further, as his hand caressed Khan’s ear.  “Someday, the Enterprise will be the first ship to have a Horta crewmember.”  He paused a moment, studying Khan.  “First one to have an augment, too, I’ll bet.”

After a deep sigh, Khan allowed himself to be comforted further, eyes lightly closing, trusting, as Jim touched the side of his face. Generally, he did not regard himself as the sort of man who could be pacified so easily, but there was a steadfast confidence in Jim that Khan responded to. "You are a marvel, Captain." Khan said with a little smile, pleased and proud of him as well.

At the implication however, Khan paused, contemplating Kirk. "You see a place for augments, among humans?" This was new. It had been many difficult months before Khan had agreed to keep contact with Starfleet, instead of accepting the resettlement of his people and breaking all ties. Contact, as distant, hands-off allies was one thing. But confronting past fears and prejudices, for an augment to be successfully immersed in Starfleet? "That would be something."

Jim studied Khan as the augment relaxed into his touch, smiling at the trust his lover had in him now.  He even flushed slightly at the praise and then stepped forward to lightly kiss his cheek.  “Thank you,” he said, forcing himself not to brush off the compliment, as was his wont.

“I’d like to see augments with Starfleet someday, yes,” he said honestly.  “It might take some time, but with time, when both sides see that the other will keep their word, I think it’s possible.  Your people deserve a chance to explore the stars, too, Khan.  Explorer seems like an awesome fit.”  He gave him a less chaste kiss, lingering to taste his lips and invite more, if Khan wanted.

The augments were perhaps well suited to be explorers, Kirk was right. They had incredible life spans that had yet to really be put to the test, they had a great aptitude towards all of the sciences, and learned quickly in subjects they were otherwise unfamiliar with. But would there be resentment at how easily they succeeded? Would they be forbidden from becoming ranking officers or captains, due to the disastrous place in history their kind was now associated with?

Khan briefly glanced to the crewmen in the room out of the corner of his eye, before giving Jim his entire focus. It wasn't a matter of being self-conscious, but rather protective of Kirk, observant for any distaste or disapproval they might express against their captain. Still, Khan happily kissed Jim back with a hum, sucking on his tongue with a smirk.

Jim lightly nipped Khan’s lower lip in reaction to the smirk as he pulled away.  “Do you want to keep looking here or continue on?  There’s a lot more to see on this ship.”  He wouldn't mind either way, since he loved the rock closet, but also loved every part of the Enterprise.  He took a step back and carefully packed away the Horta egg, giving the shell a final, fond pat.  He really had taken a liking to the species.

"Please, continue on, Captain." Khan placed his hand to the small of Jim's back as he began to put the samples away. Standing at his side like this, Khan wordless expressed his support, but also his interest in following Jim on this sampling tour of the Enterprise.

Jim grinned and closed the door, sealing it behind him.  He took Khan’s hand again and turned back to the gathered scientists, who were busy at their experiments again and paying no mind to their guests.  “Thanks for letting us play in your sandbox, everyone!  Keep up the good work.  And I want to know about your stuff, so you better not just tell Spock about it!”

There was a chorus of ‘Aye, Sir’ and went right back to their work.

Jim led Khan to the door and paused as they hit the hall.  “So many choices …  Let’s go the sound laboratory!  Hopefully, one of the rooms will be open!”  He turned to the left and strolled along, keeping Khan close with a gentle hold on his hand.    

"What is the function?" Khan prompted, not afraid to ask questions when encountering something new or unfamiliar to him. For the most part, Khan kept his head turned to the side, watching Jim in profile as they walked; attentive of his nonverbal cues as well as his tone or habits when he did speak. Though whenever a crewmen passed them in the hall, Khan would flex his fingers against Jim's hand, growing more confident in their public union the longer it was allowed.

“Many of our different scientists collect sounds as part of their work, including astronomers, biologists, anthropologists, historians, musicians and others, and the sound labs give them a place to listen and analyze their recordings.  Have you listened to the stars before?” Jim asked, turning to enter another door into a main room that linked to a series of small booths.  Some of the booths were opaqued, showing they were currently in use, but there were several that were unoccupied.  “Sweet!”

Jim signed out one of the booths and got them access to a variety of the more public sound files.  “Is there anything you might be interested in?”

"Show me your favorites." Khan said, following Jim into the booth. He had listened to the sound of Earth's sun before, and even faint hums of radiation pockets in space, and now had an ear for plasma storms, but there was clearly much more to experience. "Do you find radio signals from newer civilizations? How deep into the universe does the technology allow?" Khan seemed excited by the notion, to hear lonely stars sing, or transmissions from species looking to see if they were alone in the galaxy or not.

“Yes!”  Jim said.  “We’ve found a few of our allies that way, although we also find communication from civilizations who are not quite ready to enter a larger universe.  It’s kind of sad not to be able to let them know they’re not alone.  But it’s neat to listen and decipher their messages and see what methods they devised to try and speak to aliens.  Many of them send music as part of their communication, which is also awesome.  There’s so much we can learn from a single probe.”  He practically bounced on his toes now.

“We can listen for millions of earth miles in all directions, far more than any of our other sensor abilities,” Jim said.  “And we have all kinds of sounds that nobody has even had a chance to listen to and catalog yet.  We have about twenty crew members who spend all of their time listening to recorded sounds and doing a first assessment, so they go to the right specialists for further study.  They can also highlight sounds that are more important and need immediate attention, such as the sounds of battle.”

Khan nodded in understanding as Jim queued up the first few samples. The transmissions were amazing and beautiful in their own way. An entire world's worth of music and culture sent out into space in hopes that someone might be listening. Planetary wide chanting, pulsating out, looking for a deeper connection with the universe. And then the hum of radiation from binary star systems, stars singing to one another. Endless storms like that of Jupiter. Or the remnant echoes of stars that had long since gone supernova. "I imagine it must be tempting to make first contact with species, so desperately looking for alien life."

“To bring the comfort of knowing you’re not alone in the wide universe,” Jim agreed with a nod. “And because meeting new people is amazing.”  He pulled up another sound file and smiled as the haunting noise of birdsong filled their little booth.  “Common loons,” he said.  “Out of all the things that I’ve ever heard, these are probably the most otherworldly.  And yet, they come from where I do.  Their populations are in pretty good shape now.”  He looked a little embarrassed.  “After I got back from Tarsus, I spent a lot of time on my own.  Birds were better company than people.”

Khan smiled, leaning back against the wall as he closed his eyes, listening to the loon call. "It has been a long time since I have heard the like." Khan said after a few minutes of silently enjoying the sound clips. "I had forgotten how much like wolf song their calls could be." Khan then reached out and placed a large hand on Jim's shoulder, squeezing as a way to show good intent, before he began to lightly massage as they stood there together in the sound booth. "I understand you, Captain. Animals are very good companions. And they are soothing to watch, even without interacting with them." Khan then reached out his second hand and began to massage Jim's other shoulder, not wanting it to feel neglected. "What other sounds of Earth do you have?" He asked. It was perhaps the closest he would admit to missing Earth, of feeling homesick for a place that simply no longer existed as he remembered it.

With a few quick movements, Jim called up some traditional Indian music, which filled the air around them with soothing melodies.  He leaned back into the strong hands on his shoulders and said, “I’ve never really listened to Indian music before.”  His eyes shut and his body relaxed under both Khan’s ministrations and the soft, lulling tunes.  He didn’t want to interrupt the mood with anymore noises of his own, hoping the choice pleased his lover.

"Personally, I am fonder of the more morose tunes or lullabies." Thankfully this was one of them. Stepping closer, Khan nuzzled the back of Jim's head, lightly kissing his neck. His thumbs dug into knotted muscle along Jim's shoulder blades, slowly working his way down, showing that he was in no rush. Khan even hummed along for a few phrasings, pleased to hear something familiar to his ears.

“Morose or lullabies,” Jim murmured, half-sleepy under Khan’s lips and hands.  “That’s a rather unmatched pair.”  He waited until the last notes of the song had faded away, before pulling up his own favorite lullaby, not that he would ever confess to it as such.  It was an ancient Earth tune, one of the old popular culture things that Jim liked so well, called _‘Baby Mine’_.  He hummed along with it himself, even though his voice was nowhere near as fine as Khan’s.  In fact, if he got enthusiastic about it, he often sounded like a screechy cat.  But he kept his sounds minimal and soft, a good accompaniment to the tune.  “I wish I could sing,” he muttered as the song faded away.  “We should ask Uhura to have another concert.  She’s got the best voice of anyone I’ve ever heard.”

"You can dance, that is talent enough." Khan assured with a smile. Eventually his hands worked their way down to the small of Jim's back, before they separated, each going their own way as Khan slipped his hands over Jim's hips, palming him over the fabric of the outfit he had assembled for their dinner. "If you wish, I would sing for you. Privately. If you asked."

“That sounds like a fun date to me,” Jim said.  “I’d like to hear you sing some of your favorites, especially in a private setting.  Singing just for me ... for us.”  He took a step back to press his back against Khan’s front, reaching up with one hand to wrap around the back of Khan’s neck.  His other hand dialed up a series of the sounds of wild India, so they were encased in something that should be familiar to his lover.  And then that hand relaxed back to rest on Khan’s right leg behind him, stroking slowly.  “This is pretty nice, too.”

Khan watched as Kirk called up the next audio sample and smiled against the side of his neck. He hummed, nose pressing into the soft short hairs along the base of his skull. But soon that evolved into something of a purr, a steady rumble that boiled up from his chest and throat. "More then nice, Jim. You do well to give me comforts of home, without being cruel about it." He smiled as morning songbirds chattered away and what sounded like a distant thunderstorm rolling through the jungle and mountains.

Jim allowed time for them both to continue to enjoy the sounds, although he found he liked listening to the contented noises Khan made even more than the recordings.  He relaxed even further against him, knowing the augment could easily support his weight.  He felt that Khan also enjoyed the experience as much as he did, that there was instinctive pleasure in the sometimes more feral part of Khan that liked demonstrations of his superior strength.  A way of demonstrating his worthiness to his chosen mate.

“I’m glad you can enjoy it,” Jim said.  “Would you like for me to record the public database of sounds for you to take with you to your new home?  It might be nice to have some of the comforts of the old home.  There’s a very good public visual database, too.  Maybe later, we can use that, too.”

"Yes, perhaps. Thank you." Khan said, rubbing his hand across Jim's stomach, enjoying the hint of warm skin and muscle. He was delighted in being able to show his strength, to prove in a way, that his presence would always be strong and steadfast, whether he was supporting his weight or supporting him in other ways too. A worthy protector, as well as predator.

Jim shifted in Khan’s grip, just enough to allow him to turn his head and press his mouth lightly to Khan’s face. Being of equal height, he could easily trail his lips over the fine features, enjoying the combination of softness and strength.  He paused to rest his forehead lightly against the side of Khan’s head, eyes closed.  “We could lock the door and just enjoy the rest of our time in here,” he said.  “Or some additional time in here.”

Reaching up, Khan gave a scratch of his long fingers against Jim's scalp, keeping their heads pressed together. "You still owe me a complete tour of the Enterprise," Khan reminded with a smile, "But I am not opposed to a ... distraction, here and there." Khan said, willing and daring. Though to test Jim on this suggestion, Khan pulled back slightly and sealed the door to the small room, effectively blocking the exit with his own unmovable frame. He grinned at his lover, eyes sharp, mischievous and playful.

Jim grinned back and said, “And I intend on giving you the full tour, Noonien ... doesn't mean I have to do it all at one time.”  He turned on some appropriate background music and approached his lover fearlessly, loving the dare and play in his gaze.  That was something he was determined to pull more out of from Khan.  He shrugged off the vest, leaving it draped over a console, and trailed adventuresome fingers up Khan’s chest.  “I make a good distraction,” he teased and then leaned in to kiss his lover, deep and daring.

Adoring those beautiful blue eyes, Khan kept his gaze locked on the other man as he moved closer until Jim was once more in his arms. Immediately sucking on his tongue with a groan, Khan grabbed Jim tightly around the waist. "The best distraction." Khan corrected, keeping one arm hooked around Jim, though reached up to his own shoulder and undid a single knot in the white fabric he had draped over his body. As the knot came undone, the folds unraveled and fell from his shoulder and back, exposing half of his neck, collarbone and chest as well.

Jim managed to get enough room between their torsos so that the fabric fell between them, leaving delicious territory open to his touch.  He pressed back in and sighed happily as warm skin encountered warm skin, arms looping around Khan’s neck.  His mouth sought out Khan’s naturally, this time asking for his lover to stake his own claim.  He wondered if Khan would be willing to take him right here, bent over one of the sound consoles.  

The need was there, just below the surface, laying in wait as usual. Khan dragged the pads of his fingers across Jim's bare back, only curling his fingers in, nails digging in at the last minute. He found it erotic and delightful to be able to leave his mark on Jim, scratching out pink lines across his body. "It's a small room, dear lover ... and you seem to be trapped with me, until I am ready to let you go." He scratched at his lovely skin again, reinforcing this comment.

“Is that how it is then, Noonien?” Jim asked, shivering at the feel of those scratches on his fair skin.  “And what will you do with me while I am at your mercy?”  He tested Khan’s strength with a little move backward and smiled to find those arms giving no quarter.  His words and voice indicated his delight in giving Khan whatever he might want to take.  

"Anything, I please ... of course." Khan purred, giving a nip at Jim's ear. "And if I turn up the volume-" Khan said, softly threatening, "no one will hear you cry out." He added, kissing the side of his neck, then sucking on the skin there, tongue lapping against the muscle and hot blood pulsing through his veins. Reaching up, Khan grabbed a fist full of short blond hair, controlling Jim to keep his neck exposed to him.

Oh.  So that’s how Khan wanted to play.

Jim pondered for a split second how to respond, whether he should be passive or feisty.  He settled for something in the middle, moving with the hard fist in his hair to give Khan even more neck for his busy mouth.  “Do you wish me to cry out, my Noonien?” he asked.  “For I shall be as loud as you like ... if my cries are of pleasure.”

His upper half might be somewhat immobilized, but his lower half undulated seductively against his lover, testing the limits of what Khan wanted.  How far he wanted to be in control ... and if he wanted a submissive, easily wounded lover or one that would show spirit.

"Yes- I want to hear you." Khan licked his way down Jim's neck, before giving a nice sharp bite on his shoulder. He purred however, delighted that Jim was playing with him, pushing back, instead of being passive about the experience. "I want to hear it in your voice, the dangerous excitement you feel when I take you, my lover." With several lengths of the bed sheet Khan had fashioned into his clothing for the evening, the augment quickly twisted it several times around one of Jim's wrists, then his own, in a way, leashing each man to the other. "Try to escape if you want, but I will have you nevertheless."

Jim tugged sharply on his tied wrist and hissed at the complete lack of give.  “You wish to take me over one of these consoles, then?” he challenged.  “Pound into me with that glorious cock while I demand ‘more and harder’ until I don’t have a voice anymore?”  He struggled a little, all for show and play, but using enough of his real strength to make it worthwhile for Khan to restrain him.  “Fiend.”

"Fiend?" Khan smiled and even seemed to chuckle at this term. "Yes, I suppose I am." He said, kissing Jim hard once. Then pushing him, Khan turned Jim to face away, shoving him forward. "Hand on the dashboard, my dear-" He said, moving in close behind, kneeing the back of his thighs to encourage his legs to part.

“You’re only going to let me use one hand?” Jim demanded, bracing himself on the console with his free left hand.  He tugged again on the right hand, currently tangled in the sheets and connected to Khan’s wrist.  “You want me to land on my face?”

Still, his legs parted naturally to allow Khan between them, trying to keep his balance as best as he may.  “Are you going to just rip off the back of my pants, too?” he asked, presenting his ass for Khan unwaveringly.  

Keeping control of the tangled hand, Khan pinned it against Jim's back with a soft growl, purposefully keeping Jim unstable like this. "If you fail to hold yourself up, that is your problem, not mine." Khan said with a firm thrust to his backside, rubbing between the remaining layers of clothes. Groaning, Khan kissed the wonderful expanse of bare back before him. His free hand reached around and began to stroke Jim across his stomach, fingers pushing down to the hem of his pants where he loosened the tie to grant his fingers access.

Jim grunted a little as his arm twisted around his back and stiffened under Khan’s attentions, a bit unyielding under the implied threat.  “Don’t pretend then that you care for my pleasure,” he taunted, twisting his head to look over his shoulder.  His eyes still projected willingness to indulge Khan, though, so he didn't think Jim was hurting or angry.  

If he crossed the line, Jim would damn well let him know, though.

Despite his apparent attitude, Khan was not casual with this game at all. He took the time to make sure he was reading Jim correctly before he continued. Palming Jim around the base of his cock, Khan began to gauge his arousal, fingers curling under his balls, massaging carefully as he pressed up against his backside once more. Then sliding his hand off, Khan pushed the fabric of his pants down, off Jim's hips just a few inches, exposing his bare ass, which he palmed slowly before giving a sudden smack.

Jim hitched a little into that exploring hand and made a soft noise as his cock responded with a bit more life.  He shut his eyes as his sack was enveloped in a warm, firm grip, loving the way Khan knew how to touch.  He groaned when Khan released him and then yelped (and was that embarrassing!) when his ass stung from the slap.

But his cock also hardened a bit.

“Fuck, Khan,” he said, definitely encouraging, and angled his ass up a little in invitation.

"Soon, my dear lover ... soon." Khan purred, pleased by the reaction he got. He kissed and bit Jim on the shoulder as he untangled his own hand, creating some slack in the fabric, which he then looped around Jim's neck like a scarf. It was a simple, easy threat. If Jim attempted to struggle to free his bound hand, he would end up strangling himself. Not that Khan would allow any harm to come to his lover, but it raised the bar for the game just that much more.

Now with both hands free to do as they wanted, Khan relieved himself of the remainder of his own robes. Naked and free behind Jim as he gave his ass another firm slap, groaning with pleasure to see the pink hand print he managed to leave behind. "Lovely ... and, so willing."

Jim growled a little at the wrap of cloth around his neck and strained slightly against it, allowing himself a moment to feel the pull against the vulnerable area.  He wasn't sure about that restraint, but Khan was so into the game that he allowed it for the moment.  And he was certain the other man wouldn't allow any real harm.  Therefore…

“If I’m so willing, I don’t know why you feel the need to tie me up,” Jim sassed, grunting at this slap.  “It’s like you’re not certain …”  He glanced back at Khan, risking again the tightening of the material around his throat.  “Or do you just like seeing me helpless in front of you?”

Khan just snorted sharply. "You talk back quite a lot for a man who is tied up, trapped in a room with me." Sucking his own thumb, Khan drenched it in saliva before reaching down and rubbing it it against Jim's asshole, teasing the tight muscle. There was a difference between playing rough, and _being_ rough; and Khan was still learning about what Jim found fun and pleasurable and what he did not.

Jim pushed back into the thumb, deliberately teasing them both.  He quickly learned which movements pulled the scarf tight, but refused to back down or be passive.  Not unless Khan demanded it and then he’d see how he felt.  But he wanted Khan inside him, wanted to feel that cock again.  He wondered just how far Khan would go, if he allowed it.  Would he enjoy really being rough, actually causing pain, if Jim didn’t mind?  He knew his limits and would let Khan test and learn them.

“You like it when I talk back,” Jim said, saucy, but also seductive.  “You don’t want someone who’d just going to take it like a limp fish.”

Khan smiled at this, bowing his head down and kissed a few spots along Jim's vertebrae, licking at the arch of his back. "Quite true." He said, letting his thumb breach him slowly, pushing his way in up to the second knuckle, only to hook his thumb in so that it would be hard for Jim to buck him off. "You're gorgeous, Jim."

Jim didn't try to buck him off.  Quite to the contrary, he pushed back to try and take more of Khan into him.  As much as he could push back with one arm hooked around his back and supported by only the other one.  His muscles trembled a little at the strain, material tight against his adam’s apple.  

He flushed a little at the compliment, warm with the regard he could feel, but not see.  A moan escaped his lips in response, and he bit back a demand for more.  He wouldn't give Khan the satisfaction yet.

"It's satisfying, isn't it? Letting someone else take control? Allowing me to be responsible for your pleasure? For your safety? Letting go ..." Khan purred, building up a steady rhythm fucking him with his thumb as he spoke. Massaging the inner walls of muscle and flesh, stretching him and getting him used to being fucked like this the more he spoke. "For once, you're not giving the orders ... but taking it ... and you take it, so very well ..."

Jim laughed softly through a groan of pleasure and found a rhythm to that teasing thumb that he could keep without tugging at the fabric around his neck.  Khan’s tone was seductive and delicious, but oh how wrong he was about some of the particulars.  Until very recent times, he’d never been the one giving orders and always been the one taking it.  Sex was one of the first places in his life where he’d regained control and refused to ever give it up again.  This- this was fun only because it was consensual, but Khan needed a reminder of that.  

“Only because I trust you,” he said evenly, all the sex gone from his tone.  “It’s not something I generally like, no.  Especially safety.”  He moved his neck significantly.

Khan flushed cold, skin pale as he paused. "Jim." Khan sighed, easing his thumb out and gave his backside a slow, sensual squeeze. But he reached forward now and un-looped the stretch of fabric from around Jim's neck, then did the same for his wrist, unbinding him completely. Turning the man in his arms, Khan held him with a frown. "I'm sorry. I thought this was what you wanted."

“Shit,” Jim cursed softly and then wrapped his arms around Khan.  “Noonien, it’s all right.  I wasn't scared or in pain.  I wanted only to remind you of limits, that’s all.  Not to push too hard on that line of dialogue because I might get upset.”  He kissed his cheeks and mouth, each kiss a soft thank you.  “I said I trusted you, and I do, and you deserve it.  You proved it right there.”  He spent a few quiet moments in Khan’s arms, leaning into him and attempting to soothe.  He was also fretting at himself for ruining the moment again, even though it had needed to be said.  They were learning each other still.  

Note to Jim- Khan was VERY protective.

Khan nuzzled his partner quietly, apologetically and also with affection. Sliding to the floor in the small booth, Khan kept Jim in his arms, bodies pressed together for warmth and a sense of comfort. Khan remained thoughtful and reflective for some time, hands gently petting over Jim's body, attempting to reassure the both of them. "Perhaps-" Khan began, licking his lips before he continued with his suggestion, "so that there is no error in my understanding, next time you tell me exactly what you want."

Jim chuckled and said, “I’m afraid you’ll get very bored of me that way.”  He considered a moment, wrapped tight in Khan’s arms.  “What I want right now is to take you back to my quarters and give you that massage, touch that whole, beautiful body of yours.  Show you how much I appreciate that you take such care of me.  That you listen.”  He kissed him lightly, brushing over lips and eyelids again.

“And you were doing all right.  I swear.  I didn't mind anything you did to me.  I was having fun.  I should have said that, too.  I thought about it …”  Jim shook his head and looked regretful.  But then he looked seriously and hopefully back at Khan.  “Noonien, I want you to make love to me after I’m done massaging you.  I want to look into those gorgeous eyes when you sink into my body.”

Khan nodded slightly, kissing Jim back lightly. For the moment, Khan was reserved in his actions. This time he had thought he understood the game Jim was after, but clearly he was wrong. And it was strange for him, as he had never been so wrong about a partner before, and so _consistently_ wrong at that. But he listened to Jim, how it hadn't been all bad, so that was some relief at least.

Petting his hand over the front of Jim's chest and torso, Khan fixated on the mouth before him in the way he usually did and kissed him suddenly. He moaned softly into his open mouth before agreeing with a soft gasp, "Yes Jim. I would love that very much."

“You can show me how tender and gentle you can be,” Jim said and thumbed over his right cheek.  “You have such splendid control of your body.”  His eyes flicked over his lover appreciatively, and he added, “You have a splendid body, too.”  With a contented sigh, he curled tighter against Khan and allowed himself some time to just bask.  And hopefully, ease any of Khan’s remaining uneasiness.

Khan smiled against Jim's temple at the compliment, breathing in steadily his scent. In no mood to be rushed, Khan remained there with Jim in his arms for some time, until things sat a little easier in his chest. Jim still wanted him and Khan had no wish to further disappoint him. "Let's get you dressed." He finally said, reaching for the vest on the panel. "And we shall return to your chambers." He said, reaching for his hand, wanting to reestablish their union with a squeeze of their fingers.  

Jim squeezed those fingers in return and asked with all his persuasiveness, “Will you help me dress, Khan?  I’d like to feel those hands on me with gentleness.  And return the favor, too.”

"Yes, my lover." Khan said, standing once more and pulling Jim to his feet before him. With the utmost care and attention to detail, Khan dressed Jim in his vest, pulling it evenly across his shoulders and closing the gap over his chest with long, trailing fingers. In his time, dressing another was perhaps the role of a servant, or a submissive lover; but Khan did it with utter ease and did not seem to regard it as beneath him. His fingers then reached for the ties around Jim's pants and tightened them up once more, tying them off with a simple knot.

Jim touched Khan all over his shoulder, chest and neck and arms, though he moved his limbs to help get everything on properly.  He lifted his hands to cradle Khan’s cheeks when he finished and moved in for a sweet kiss, thanks and affection.  “Now, allow me to return the favor?  I believe I have the gist of how you wore your outfit.”

He took the sheet and began to arrange it carefully on Khan, putting his splendid memory and sharp observational skills to use by replicating almost exactly the way his lover was dressed before.  And if his fingers lingered on warm skin here and there, he hoped Khan wouldn't object.  “There.  Handsome as ever.”

Khan stood straight as Jim dressed him, allowing the other man to clothe him as he saw fit, or in this case, as he remembered from before. "Perfect." Khan commented with a smile, clearly approving. Though it was not obvious, Khan basked in this sort of attention; being dressed and touched with reverence stroked that part of his ego that had been created to believe he was a god among men. "My Jim." Khan said fondly before turning to unlock the door and set them both free from the small room.

“Noonien,” Jim agreed and turned off the consoles, before taking his hand again.  “Do you want to just finish a stroll around this deck, without anymore stops, before we head back to my quarters?  Or shall we hurry back?”  He leaned into Khan and kissed his earlobe.

"Hmm." Khan hummed, eyelids lightly closing as Jim pressed kisses to him. "I am looking forward to continuing our activities tonight ... however, perhaps a little walk would be refreshing." It was all freedom to him, but finishing their walk together, at least on this deck, seemed like a good way to bring an end to the tour.

“I’d like that, too,” Jim confessed and brought his hand up to his lips to brush a quick kiss over his knuckles, an old fashioned gesture he thought Khan might enjoy.  “There’s a lot more to this deck, too, but we can save that for another time.  There’s a view deck, which is intended as a place for any kinds of religious worship.  We have several officers who are ... I guess you’d call them religious advisors, aboard.  With all the different species in Starfleet, it’s only right to try and give people a place for worship and people to talk to when they have spiritual questions.”  He paused and glanced over at Khan.  “Do you practice any beliefs?”

Watching as Jim kissed his knuckles, Khan finally appeared at ease, a soft touch of color returning to his features. "I practice many beliefs. But not in the way you mean. I do not observe a religion." Khan answered, not feeling any shame or need to hide this fact. Though he was curious about that where religion stood with humans, now that they were faced with the fact that they were not the only creations in the universe. Even more curious, he wanted to know about what alien species believed in and if there were similarities, regardless of being separated by light-years. "Do you, Captain?"

“Nah.  If I’d ever had the leanings, Tarsus would've taken them right out of me,” Jim said.  “A lot of those poor people prayed for deliverance or a miracle or just some mercy.  And what good did it do any of them?  I learned to rely on myself and not trust to any higher powers of any kind for anything.”  He nodded once and then frowned a little.  “I still have faith in the greater powers of good, though.  Like you.”

At first Khan just nodded, having presumed something of the sort. Often great tragedy either drove people to religion, or away from it. So it was not an unexpected comment. What had surprised Khan however was the notion that Jim considered him a power of good. He blinked slowly, turning to face Jim, and blinked again, something in his brain not quite comprehending this. "You consider me good?"

“I think you improve upon further acquaintance and that you will be a bringer of good for your family,” Jim said.  “From beginnings that were unfortunate and events that have been even more so, you’re looking for a better way.  A more enlightened way.  How can I think that’s anything but good?”

Khan regarded the full weight of the comment. However, it would take him some time to fully process it, which was a new experience for him as well. This was not a fact for him to simply absorb. It would take more time. With a light squeeze of Jim's hand, Khan encouraged them to walk on, heading down the corridor again. "You have a boundless capacity for hope." Khan mentioned, feeling it was slightly related.

“Good thing, too,” Jim said, a little too lightly and led Khan by another door, this one with a lit red seal.  “Ah, someone’s doing some photosensitive work right now.  There’s a lot of different fields that do work that doesn't react well to light, and these rooms are used by all of them.  These are for individuals working on small projects, down here.  It’s amazing how much work goes on at once time.  By the time we’re done with our five year mission, I expect everyone aboard to have published at least three papers ... myself included.  And that’s a conservative estimate, as I like to tell everyone.”

Khan regarded the red light, then gave his attention back to Kirk. "I imagine you would have more then enough material to write several novels, never mind papers. That is, if you can find the time to tell them." He smiled, passing his thumb over Jim's knuckle. "Do you have subjects in mind already?"

“Not yet,” Jim said.  “I’m trying to keep an open mind.”  He didn’t say that he’s written papers on a diversity of subjects already, for some prestigious journals, too.  “I know Spock will probably have a hundred papers published before we return.  He’ll undoubtedly start a few controversies, too.  Spock has a scientist following, I swear, who hang on every word he publishes.”

"I do not doubt that." Khan said fairly. "He and the other one-" he began, not knowing how to distinguish between Commander Spock and the one from the alternate universe, "are quite distinguished for their field." Meaning also, Khan had taken the time to look into them a little bit more, now that information was being provided a little more freely to him these days.

“Old Spock,” Jim said promptly with a grin.  “Or Spock without a stick up his ass.”  He glanced around guiltily as he said it.  “Not that this Spock isn’t somewhat better now.  Still, he’s a bit rigid.”  He kept walking with Khan to the end of the hall of small labs.  “I almost feel like this is the catch-all deck for the Enterprise.  For everything that needed a place and didn't quite go naturally anywhere else ... or that they’d run out of room for everywhere else.”

"Even with good planning, sometimes there are still leftovers." Khan said, though did not seem to mind the hodgepodge tour. Though augments had specialties and certain strengths, they were essentially meant to fit in any cube they were shoved into, 'jack of all trades' as the term went.

“A ship of this size that’s supposed to concentrate on exploration and will be gone for five years has a lot of different requirements that have to be met.  There’s always some odd men out, but the design still has to incorporate them.  So, they end up on this deck.”  Jim glanced around again, pretending to make sure the coast was clear, before whispering to Khan, “Outside of the Bridge, this is my favorite deck.”

Khan raised an amused eyebrow at that. "Is this meant to be a secret?" He asked, curious. "I'm sure the Bridge isn't jealous." It was perhaps telling of how Jim viewed himself though, even as the Captain of the Enterprise, he viewed himself as a sort of outsider.

Jim laughed and said, “It’s amazing how much people take it to heart if they feel like the captain of the ship doesn't care much for their specialty or even their location.  Any sign of favoritism of any sort and people’s noses get out of joint.  I’m allowed to declare that I love the Bridge because everyone knows that ... it only makes sense.  But if Scotty heard that I love this deck more than Engineering … he’d be drunk and singing sad Scottish songs for the next month.”

"I promise I will not tell." Khan said gently. "Though I would consider it a sign of love and respect your people have for you, Captain. They want to impress you. To be important or as you say, favored- in your eyes." The same could be said for Khan, but he did not mention it. Jim was already well aware that Khan would be jealous if he took other lovers while they were still together.

Jim bumped their sides together companionably and said, “I do my best to make sure everyone feels valued and a part of the team.  I know all of the different members of my crew, no matter what their assignment, are important.  They are important to me…”  He frowned and looked away, remembering the ones he’d lost.

Recognizing that particular look, Khan let go of Jim's hand in favor of hooking his arm around his back instead. Pressing their hips and sides together as they walked, as a show of support and solidarity, Khan more then understood. Not only did Khan see the loss of his own people as unacceptable, a devastating and crushing weight on his heart; with his union with Kirk, he had begun to feel the same about the crew of the Enterprise. They weren't family, but they were still important; as was evident by him saving the lives of the away team. "I understand." Khan said simply.

“I know,” Jim said, “and it’s great to be with someone who does.  Someone who’s felt the weight of that responsibility and care for a group of people he’s responsible for.  Sometimes, I think we should have a support group.”  He turned and nipped Khan’s ear playfully.  “Guess that’s what you are right now.  My own personal support group.  I could just go boneless against you, and you could carry me away, huh?”

To Khan this was a bewildering turn of a phrase, but it made him smile nevertheless. "Yes, I would." He said, remaining honest in how he responded to Kirk, even when the man was trying to joke with him. Not always knowing how to be playful back, Khan kept to what he knew, strength and truth and loyalty.

Jim laughed, pleased by the deadpan response, though he knew it meant he still bewildered the other man.  He leaned in and gave him a wet kiss under his ear, before tugging on the lobe lightly with his teeth.  “Thank you, Noonien,” he said and headed for the turbolift.  

They traveled back to his deck, and Jim kept hold of Khan’s hand the entire way back to his quarters, content now to travel in companionable silence.  As they walked back in, Jim sealed the door behind them and then turned back to Khan.  “Let me get the bed ready for your massage.  Want to take everything off again?”

The room still smelled faintly of dinner and Khan sighed deeply, still enjoying the comfort it brought. "Tell me when you are ready for me." Khan said. Turning his attention to himself, Khan removed the layers of white fabric. And though he was soon exposed in lines of skin and muscle, his lack of clothing did not make him look any less dignified.

Jim put a couple of layers of sheets on the top of the bed to catch the spilled oil, of which there was sure to be some, arranged dome pillows for Khan’s comfort, fetched the special oils for Khan to choose from, put out some soft towels and then turned to his lover.  “Please come choose which oils you would like me to use, Noonien.  And would you like me naked, as well?”

Without the restraint or shadow of clothing to hinder him, Khan walked forward with perfect grace. Pressing one knee into the bed, Khan leaned forward and began to examine the different bottles of oils, smelling and touching each in turn. Though as Jim asked if he should get undressed as well, Khan quickly turned his eyes towards him and smiled, delighted. "Yes, that would be quite enjoyable." He said, signaling out one of the oils for Jim to use that had a bit of heat to it when he had rubbed it between his fingers. Finally, Khan moved to both knees on the bed, knees slightly parted and hands on this thighs. "How would you like me, my lover?"

“Do you prefer to kneel for this?” Jim asked softly, thinking Khan might prefer that to lying on his stomach.  He undressed slowly, stepping into Khan’s view so the other man could watch as his clothes slowly were removed to reveal his body again.  “As long as I can reach all of your back, shoulders and neck, that will be fine.  Otherwise, the easiest way is on your stomach.”  He opened the bottle of oil, sniffed it and smiled at the choice, before pouring a little in one hand to warm.  

It was quite a thing, the effect Jim Kirk had on Khan. For a moment, Khan just sat there, watching his lover undress for him. Kirk had come to wield a certain power over Khan, that in this moment, the augment did not resist. But it had happened before. In the cave, during their fight, it had only taken a few words to strip Khan of his wild anger. He had yielded. And it was in this moment, he was doing the same. Laying out on his stomach, Khan settled with his head turned to the side, watching Kirk from where he lay.

Jim smiled and pressed a soft kiss of thanks to the nape of Khan’s neck, exposed to him trustingly. “Thank you,” he said, respecting the trust Khan had put in him.  “I’ll start from the top.”  He knelt by Khan’s head, aware of his body, but completely comfortable with his own nudity.  “Please let me know to use more or less pressure or if there’s anything you do or don’t like.  This is all for you, and I want to make sure I do it right.”  He pressed his hands with the warmed oil to Khan’s upper back and began.

Initially Khan just sighed, happy to have Jim's hands upon him. But as his fingers and the heat of the oil began to penetrate his muscle, Khan began to breathe in slow and deep as his body began to relax. "You can dig in harder, there-" Khan purred as Jim uncovered a nice juicy knot between his shoulder blades.

Jim knew how to give both sensual and therapeutic massages, due to one of his more useful adventures in his misbegotten youth.  He had been taken in for awhile by an older man, a masseuse, who taught him both sets of skills.  He dug in harder, both by request and because he knew Khan could easily take the added pressure.  The knot dissolved under his hands, and he smiled in pleasure to have relieved the tension.  “How’s that?”

"Ah- yes ..." Khan groaned, glancing out of the corner of his eye at Jim, a pleased expression pulling at his lips. "... that's good." Khan sighed. Truthfully he could take Jim's entire weight, but his precision of pressure was well appreciated. With a lick of his lips, Khan allowed himself to close his eyes completely, trusting Jim in this state as he groaned softly at every following touch, melting in his hands.

Jim felt himself harden at the way Khan let himself go and shifted down to massage the small of his back, before tracing his way all the way back to his shoulders again.  He added more oil to his hands and warmed it again, before placing his hands just above the firm curve of his ass.  “I’m going lower now, Noonien,” he said and took care of each cheek with loving care.  He made sure not to get near the vulnerable crease in the middle, which might be misconstrued.  Though, the sight made him drool a little ...  

"Mhn." Khan sighed as the muscles were compressed, then stretched, and several air pockets cracked and released around the joints. The core temperature of his body began to build, skin remaining warm to the touch with the help of the oil and Jim's attentive hands. Meanwhile his toes curled at the end of the bed as his back arched when Jim teased a particular branch of nerves. For a moment, his hips even rolled, making room for his erection against the mattress.

“Do you want a pillow for your hips?” Jim asked, noticing how Khan pressed against the bed.  He squeezed the firm muscles under his hands, enjoying this opportunity to really explore this area of Khan’s body.  He stretched himself out over Khan for a moment and rubbed his chest all over Khan’s back, spreading the oil on his own skin, as well as sensitizing his own body and hopefully, Khan’s.  The pressure he kept was light, so Khan did not feel like he was trying to weigh or pin him down, just sharing a sensual touch all over.  He briefly rested his face in Khan’s hair and then sat back up again.  

Instead of becoming tense or anxious with any implications of the new arrangement of their bodies, Khan in fact relaxed even more under the weight of Jim laying over him. He groaned softly, neck arching and face burying down into the blankets with another pleased sound that was muffled until he turned his head again, this time to the other side. "Please." He eventually gave answer to the question, forcing himself up on his forearms a few inches, hips raised to make room for the pillow.

Jim smiled, pressed a soft kiss to his crown and grabbed a pillow, arranging it carefully under him so that he could rest comfortably.  “There.  Let me know if you need further ... adjustments.”  He trailed tender fingers down the planes of Khan’s broad back, over his ass and then paused at the top of his legs.  “I’m going to work on your legs now.  Are you ticklish anywhere?”  He glanced at his feet, which looked as sturdy as the rest of him somehow.  It was amazing how very ... strong Khan appeared, even in areas that looked vulnerable on most other individuals.  

Sucking on his lower lip, Khan then smiled to himself lightly. "Very comfortable, thank you." He said, taking a deep breath to fill his lungs. With the pillow under his hips, Khan looked a bit more like he was presenting himself, thighs slightly parted and the small of his back arched. "Not ticklish." He said with a soft laugh, stretching his arms out slightly over his head, fingers lightly clutching at the bedding. "Please continue."  

“As much as I enjoy laughter in bed, the thought of you cracking up because I start tickling your feet while trying to massage them is ... actually the thought of you cracking up at all is pretty much ridiculous, isn’t it?”  Jim grinned at his own lunacy and slid gracefully to the edge of the bed to work the area just below his toes.  “Perhaps I could play piggy with your toes,” he mused and then in exact opposite to the silly notion, took the big toe of his right foot in a hot mouth, sucking intensely, even as he kept working with his fingers.

As his toe was engulfed, suddenly warm and wet against Jim's tongue, a muscle spasm in Khan's leg jumped with surprise. Luckily Khan had in fact been telling the truth, he was not ticklish otherwise Jim would have been suddenly kicked in the mouth. But the intimate gesture to his feet had clearly been unexpected. "Oh." His toes uncurled and the arches of his feet became malleable the more Jim massaged them.

Jim managed an amused noise around the toe and moved off with a deliberate scrape of teeth.  “Nobody ever done that for you?” he asked and dotted small kisses to each of the remaining toes, soft and sweet.  He moved down to the heel of Khan’s right foot, before moving to the left one.  His head tipped again, and he laved the mound of Khan’s left foot with his tongue, unashamed and even sensual in the action.  

"No. Never." Khan mumbled, still quite relaxed as he soon groaned again as unrelated parts of his body began to unclench. A hot shiver climbed up the back of his legs and his hips rolled again, grinding down sensually into the pillow, searching for some friction. It was both arousing and humbling that Kirk would suck on his feet like this, to treat him to this new pleasure without hesitation.

Jim finished the feet with reluctance and worked up both strong legs with quicker fingers, before slowing at the top of the thighs.  He brushed lightly over the beautiful sack that hung between Khan’s legs, before saying, “Your back is done.  Roll over for me, please, my Noonien?  I’ll do your neck sitting up.  And your scalp after I wipe my hands clean.”  He moved away to let Khan roll over.

Obediently, Khan rolled over to one side before laying out on his back with a sigh. He smiled up at Jim, then pushed himself to sit up. "You are very good at this." Khan said almost sleepily, so completely at ease that everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. He reached out for his lover, fingers brushing against his hips to ground him as he leaned forward, pressing a few kisses to his collarbone.

Jim rubbed his cheek into the soft strands of Khan’s hair and hummed softly in contentment.  “I’m glad you think so, Noonien.  I’m enjoying myself very much, too.”  He slid a hand around Khan’s nape to gently massage there, waiting for his lover to be ready again for the rest of the massage.  “Thank you for allowing me the opportunity.  I’m better at showing feelings this way.”

Khan purred, "I find that you have very well rounded talents. You are very good at making your feelings known with your words, as well as your actions." Though he was still very willing to let Jim do what he wanted, to show and speak with his hands the affection he had for Khan and the pleasure he wanted to give him, the augment had a small request. His fingers continued to gently paw at Jim's hips, kneading and encouraging, "Please Jim. Sit on my lap." He said, wanting to feel the weight of the other man again, to touch and hold him as they faced each other while Jim showed him these affections.

Jim followed the invitation of Khan’s hands and eased himself into his lap, legs falling on either side of Khan’s hips, as he slid more comfortably into the cradle of Khan’s body.  He wrapped his arms around his lover and smiled into his eyes.  “Noonien.”  He slid his hands along the length of Khan’s arms all the way to his hands, tangling their fingers.  “Here I am.”

"I hope you don't mind." Khan said softly, in a way apologizing for this detour in what Jim intended. "You are being very good to me ..." He said, thumbing over the back of Jim's hand lightly before letting go in favor of wrapping an arm around his back to hold him. "I simply want to hold you for a moment." He said, attempting to explain, though kissed Jim along his jaw, not wanting him to think less of him for this sudden, simple need.

“Mind?  I love it, Noonien,” Jim promised and tilted his head for Khan’s mouth, wanting more kisses along his skin.  There was more than a hint of erotic promise in sitting on Khan’s lap, being held so tenderly, but with such strength.  He rubbed his ass a little over the firm legs and into the cradle of Khan’s hips, eyes shining with promise.  “I like being in your arms.”  With a sigh, he sank into Khan’s arms and allowed himself to be held, showing the pure delight in his current position.  If he thought Khan wanted, he’d ask him to just slide that beautiful cock into his ass and claim his body again.

"And I enjoy holding you close, my dear lover." Khan said, pressing several more kisses along his jaw and down his neck, adoring the young Captain. With a gasp, Khan opened his mouth, breathing lightly against the beautifully mortal skin under his lips, briefly feeling that his heart was exposed and unsure what he should say or do about it. "When we are pressed close like this-" he began, trying to put to words the intensity he felt with Jim, "I can feel your heart beat against mine ... and it becomes all I can think about."

Jim’s own heart lurched a bit in his chest at words, and he cradled Khan’s head in his arms, moving so that Khan could feel his pulse even more intensely.  “I don’t mind if you just want to listen and feel for awhile,” he assured him.  “I’m very comfortable here.”  He remained at ease and unmoving in Khan’s arms, eyes half-closed in pleasure.  His fingers stroked through Khan’s hair and pressed lovingly into his scalp.

"Thank you." Khan said, pressing their foreheads together as Jim massaged his scalp. One hand moved a little further up his back, palm open and supportive as they shared their simple, yet intimate connection. It was something Khan knew he would treasure and hold onto in memory, long after the two men went their separate ways.

With Jim's permission, Khan did take the time he was looking for, engulfed in the feeling of his lover the longer he held him. But finally, Khan pulled his head back with a little smile. "Where is that oil? I want to rub some over your chest ... if I may?"

“I’d like that,” Jim said and gestured to the oil situated on the bed behind him.  “Do you want me to lie down or stay in your lap?”  He reached back and gently hooked the oil bottle, tugging it to him and then offering it to his lover.  “Please do whatever you want, Noonien.  Touch where you will.”  He remained relaxed and compliant to whatever his lover wanted, allowing him to take the lead now that he’d asked for it.

"Please, stay ... just like this." Khan said, easing his hold on Jim so that he could liberally pour the oil between both hands. Palming the warm liquid several times, Khan then pressed the flat of his hands to Jim's chest, easing it in circles over the front of his body. "I want to look at you ..." He wanted Jim to sit and face him as the equal he was, instead of being on his back, pinned or trapped. With a little smile, Khan turned his eyes down, watching his own fingers as they spread over Jim's body, thumbing over his nipple, then up across his chest. "Do you still wish to make love?" He asked, with no force or impatience about the subject, only the genuine desire to please his lover.

Jim smiled and nodded, completely happy to keep his current position in Khan’s lap.  The gentle touch, coupled with the warming oil, made him moan and arch his chest into his hands, open and wanting.  “Oh yes,” he said.  “Very much.  If you like, I can sit on your lap this way while you press up into me.  I don’t think that would be a strain for you ... and definitely, it would be amazing for me.”  He rubbed his hands up and down Khan’s legs beneath him, wanting to answer the touches his lover was bestowing on him somehow.  “Hopefully amazing for you, too,” he added, not wanting to sound ungenerous.

Khan smiled slowly, eyes bright and happy as he answered back easily. "Yes- that sounds very good to me." His hands continued to palm and rub over Jim's chest, digging the flesh of his wrist into the muscle in small circles. "If this is suitable lubricant ... oil me, my Jim ... as much as you require." He said, wanting it to be an easy, comfortable fit for him. Along this line of thought, Khan reached back with one hand and began to massage the cheeks of Jim's backside, working to spread the oil between the lovely crack of his ass.

Quite a change from the abortive last encounter, and Jim enjoyed the difference, the softness in Khan’s eyes and demeanor.  He lifted his ass up a little to give Khan better access and then poured a bit more oil in his hands, again warming it just so, before he took Khan and began to spread it all over his cock, thorough, but careful not to get too carried away.  Though it was tempting.  

He pressed back into Khan’s fingers and invited him inside with a deliberate flutter of his muscles, as if to catch the digits.  “Please, Noonien.  I want you inside me again.  You fill me up so good and make me feel so close to you.  Don’t deprive me of that now.”

To make amends from before, Khan wanted to remind Jim that his actions were only intended to be loving. Khan was very devoted to him and did not want to repeat a situation where Jim was uncomfortable with what was happening. So as promised, he would show just how gentle and good he could be.

"Yes, Jim ..." Khan panted softly. His cock sat up at full attention after being stroked and oiled, though did not get the relief it was looking for immediately. As Khan took the time to finger Jim open, wanting it to be easy on him. Though there came a point when fingers weren't enough. So Khan guided his young lover back over his hips and down so that the head of his cock pressed wetly against his ass, slipping against the muscle a few times before Khan managed to angle himself properly, pressing against the resistance. Carefully resting his hands on Jim's hips, Khan returned the control to his lover, allowing him to impale himself and take him in at his own speed.

Jim allowed Khan to move him into place, enjoying how very gently he was being handled indeed.  His fingers released Khan’s erection and settled on his shoulders, working a little more at the massaging of before.  He thought that next time he should start on Khan’s front, so he could suck that beautiful cock for awhile.  Obviously, he would never get to that this way.  

Not that he objected, as Khan eased him so that the head of his cock just pressed against his entrance.  As Khan released him, he whined a little in regret not to be in those clever hands anymore.  But that changed to incoherent noises of pure pleasure as he sank carefully down, the wide girth opening his eager channel.  He kept the pace slow, a torturous bit of motion for them both, before finally dropping the last two or so inches quickly, letting gravity take hold.  “Noonien,” he groaned and leaned into his lover, foreheads touching as he caught his breath.

It was blissful torture to watch Jim take him at his own pace. His body opening up to Khan, taking him in until they were sweetly joined. "Ahhh- Jim." Khan purred slowly, the sound stretched out deep in his chest. Finding their place once more, Khan wrapped his arms around Jim, one hand firmly against his lower back and the other on his hip, wanting to keep hold of every inch of him. After a breath, Khan began to bestow soft, warm kisses to Jim's face with a hum.

Jim clung to Khan’s shoulders and closed his eyes, enjoying the affection Khan paid him.  This was so unlike the man he had first met, the one who seemed to cold and foreboding in every way, the only flashes of heat in his terrifying anger.  He wondered if he would see the same anger now, directed at others, should he be threatened.  As Khan’s lover, did he warrant that same fierce protection ... he believed that Khan thought so.   He shivered, a combination of want, pleasure and nerves at the idea.

“I’m ready,” he said, pressing a kiss of his own to the skin nearest his mouth.  “Do you want me to move or will you move me?”  He would be happy either way, even though he would wear out long before Khan did.

"Allow me?" Khan said with a smile, pressing the sides of their faces together, kissing a spot near his ear. "If it is not what you want, tell me." He said, beginning to rock Jim on his lap, pressing his chest into the other man as he rolled his hips, finding the right balance that allowed him to slide in, over and over.

Deep inside his lover, Khan could feel the contraction of every tight muscle around his cock. It was a feeling worth drowning in. "Jim-" Khan gave praise, bowing his head and giving little bites across his chest, only to then press the side of his face against his skin, rubbing to take on his musk.

“Yes,” Jim answered, the only answer he could give.  And Khan knew how to work him, so that all he had to do was not fight the rolling movements and feel the press of that hard cock deep inside his body.  Sometimes, on a particularly good thrust, one that made him feel as if Khan were trying to go all the way through him, he cried out and clenched down hard.  Other times, he spoke in low, encouraging tones to his lover, making sure to sprinkle his name in with the compliments.  

His own erection rubbed against the hardness of Khan’s abs, leaking a bit more every time his prostate was stimulated.  He felt the slick build, easing the way he slipped and slid against his lover.  The slow climb felt good, and he reveled in the expanding heat and pleasure of his insides, a storm gathering in his middle.

“Talk to me, Noonien?” he asked, always so verbal himself.  And he’d heard the start of some sort of exclamation in his name, but there had been nothing more from it.  “Please, Noonien.  I like- oh!- I like talk.”

"Jim-" Khan whimpered his name, not accustomed to putting to words the things he felt. But he wanted to please him, so he would try. "Oh- Jim ..." He said again, fingers curling into the sides of his thighs so that he could begin a rhythm of a new, slow fuck. "I love sliding into your body ... feeling you part for me, with every thrust ... I want to bury in so deeply ... that there is always something of me inside ... Jim-" Khan bowed his head to the side, humbling himself to kiss his neck, "Every time you gasp my name or breathe against my skin ... all I want to do is satisfy you, my Jim."

“Yes, that’s good, Noonien,” Jim said, thanking him for obviously trying so hard, as well as giving him pleasure.  “I love how strong you are, how it feels to be in your arms.  You fuck me so deep and so well.  I’d let you stay inside, as long as you want ... as long as you’re capable.  It’s fucking incredible.  You’re incredible ... and you give me so much pleasure.”  He gripped Khan’s shoulders and participated now, trying to show actively, as much as verbally, how much he was into their activities.  

Khan groaned outright, "... love when you touch me like that ..." he said in reference to the way Jim was clinging to him. In response, Khan dug his fingers in a little harder, starting to leave little pink marks with his nails. It felt like Jim was wanting to hold onto him, and Khan wanted the same. He felt important. Which was perhaps silly, since he was very important and very essential. But for once this wasn't about his people. And whether it was true or not, the way Jim touched him, made Khan feel important and essential to his young lover, and even strong, but not in the obvious ways.

"Beautiful ... Jim ..." Khan said in comment to the way his lover began to ride him, but also the expression he wore on his face, which he kissed. There were still many things he could say, many small confessions and secrets. Like, how he had no intention of taking any other lovers after they parted. That Jim Kirk would be his last, and most beloved. Or even that Jim had a rather firm grasp on Khan's heart, without even realizing it. But these were not things that Khan talked about openly; they were barely things he could admit to himself, but they were there, quite insistently, in the back of his mind.

Jim managed a smile, though he was panting for air by now, pores open and skin omitting an even headier musky scent, as he rode Khan harder now.  He loved the way Khan’s sentences broke, a sure sign the augment was not unaffected by their love-making.  And that’s what it was, just as he had asked for.  Something new and different for Jim, a man used to one-night stands, good for pleasure, but not for more than that.  He had all the knowledge of the physical side of sex, but almost none of the emotional, until now.  Until Khan.  

His body fell forward again, so he might capture Khan’s lips for another kiss, though it cost him some air. But the way they naturally shared the kiss made it more than worth it.  They shared everything through that sealing of mouths, and it made Jim’s head spin.  Or maybe that was lack of oxygen…

Khan groaned for more as his heart throbbed in his chest, hypersensitive to every kiss, every sweet touch, every thrust. "Jim ... Jim ..." he whimpered between their kisses, a hot shudder spreading through his body. Hooking both sets of arms around Jim's middle, Khan clawed at his back, desperate to keep him. Jim seemed to want it fast and Khan still wanted it slow and that small amount of fight between them was pushing Khan further to the edge. Until his cock swelled and he was coming, spilling into him, slick and hot, devastating that sweet body with cum.

Watching Khan’s face avidly, Jim drunk in the expression of pure pleasure at the release into his body.  He deliberately tried to milk every last drop out of his lover, even though he already knew he would be leaking when Khan pulled out.  But that was part of the delight in the experience, to be so filled that he overflowed.

“You’re so amazing,” he praised loudly.  “So hot when you come inside me, Noonien.  I want to keep you inside me forever.  Fuck it feels so good.”

"As long as you want me, Jim." Khan said, kissing him over and over, truly adoring him. Though as Jim shifted, even just a little on his lap, Khan hissed, nerves still quite sharply shooting through his body, remaining hard even after his very satisfying orgasm. Sliding his hands up Jim's sides, Khan kept them the same distance apart as he eased himself backward, laying out on his back with a little smile. "Keep riding- and I'll stay hard for you."

Jim moved with Khan and tilted his head to look him in the eyes, a shade of worry in his own.  “Aren’t you too sensitive?” he asked.  “I don’t want this to be unpleasant for you.”  He smoothed his hands over Khan’s bare chest, searching his face.

"For you- I have stamina yet." Khan breathed deeply under the wandering hands, gathering control over himself once more. Thumbing over his ribcage and down along his sides, Khan rested his hands on his partner, letting him lead. If Jim wanted to get off right away, or prolong his own orgasm, Khan would help him with either pursuit.

“Enough to enjoy yourself again?” Jim wondered, thinking how fun that would be.  He would gladly try and lead Khan to another orgasm, even if there wasn't much room left inside him.  The notion made him laugh softly and lean down to kiss Khan.  “I’d love to be able to get you off again, if you’re capable of it.”  He both teased and challenged his lover, thinking he was well up for a second round.

"Certainly, Jim." Khan answered, large eyes focused on his lover, quite prepared to meet his challenge. With a soft, low groan, Khan kissed him back, lips parting as their tongues pressed and twisted around the other. "Mmm-" He smiled again, licking his lips and savoring the taste. The skin along his neck and chest was flushed pleasantly pink and warm, still breathing nice and deep under his lover's hands.

“You’re flushed all over,” Jim marveled, loving how well the pink showed up on Khan’s pale skin.  He traced the color up his chest and to both nipples, toying with them tenderly. He tugged and pinched and twisted until they were hard little nubs in his hands.  “Perfect,” he said with real satisfaction and let him go, moving to let his legs under him again.  

Firmly situated and with his eyes locked to Khan’s, Jim started a nice, slow ride, aiming to feel every inch push and pull inside him.  He hoped he looked even a fraction as good as he felt, allowing his head to fall back and expression to be driven solely by the pleasure coursing through his veins.  “A little support?” he gasped.

Khan had gasped sharply at the tease to his nipples, head tipping back as another hot shiver rushed through his body. Yes, he was still quite sensitive, but it was good, far too good to ignore. "Beautiful, Jim." Khan said, reaching up to press one hand against his stomach, sliding it firmly up his chest, then down again. While his other hand pressed to his ass, only to find its way up to the small of his back, following the perfect arch of his spine.

“Am I beautiful to you?” Jim asked, eyes warm and pupils huge so that the blue was nearly swallowed up.  “Your beautiful lover?”  He kept the agonizingly slow pace with muscles that wanted to tremble under the strain.  “I do want to be tied down for your pleasure some night,” he promised.  “Perhaps spread wide by silken ties to this very bed, waiting and trembling for your touches.  You can call me beautiful then, too, and I will believe you.  I’ll trust you to give me pleasure, as well as take your own.  Fuck!”  He froze as he managed to angle just right and nail his prostate, holding himself from orgasm with all his formidable skill.

"Yes Jim- beautiful." Khan said again. Though as Jim rode his slowly, Khan watched in complete awe as the man began to satisfy himself, brushing his prostate. His lips parted, panting softly, watching eagerly while his hands slid over long stretches of skin and muscle, warm and encouraging. "Would you be prepared for me already? Or would you like me to tie you down?" He asked, feeling that this line of conversation was getting him off just as much as fucking his cock. "Tell me more."

“Wouldn’t it be a nice surprise to come home and find me ready and waiting for you?” Jim asked on a low moan.  “Spread and wet and there just for your pleasure?”  He sank all the way down on Khan and paused again, eyes fluttering a little uncontrollably.  “Or you could tie me yourself if you preferred.  Bind my hands and ankles to the bedposts in any position you chose, so that I would be open to your eyes and hands and mouth, to everything you wanted to give and take of me.  Tease me until I was begging you for relief, for your cock inside me again.”  He flicked his tongue over his lips and began to move again, eyes hooded now, nearly unable to stay open.  “You could mark me that way, too, spill all over my skin.  Would you like that, Noonien?”

 _Wouldn't it be nice, to come home ..._ The words rang powerfully in his ears. Was that what this was? The shared space between them, their lives they had complicatedly intertwined, the intimate exchanges and gentle moments, was that home? Had his life with Jim Kirk become home? It was starting to. And there were great fears and great excitement associated with that thought. "Yes Jim-" Khan answered at last, very eagerly. "I would like to come in and see you already tied up ... prepared for me ... waiting ... and willing." Khan slid his warm hands to the front of Jim's chest, rubbing and supporting his torso as he began to carefully thrust up, groaning with approval.

JIm met those thrusts with deep-throated cries of his own, as Khan found the right angle to drive him mad with delight.  He couldn't keep up forever with his powerful lover, however, and soon, allowed Khan to do the majority of the moving.  His hands fell to Khan’s chest, stroking and pinching, as well as acting as support.

“Always willing, my Noonien,” Jim promised through his cries. “You wouldn’t make me wait long that way, would you?” He shivered at the thought of being naked, slicked and ready for Khan, all spread out like a buffet.  “Would you take pity on me or make me suffer?”

"Ah-" Khan watched as he disappeared into Jim's body, over and over, thrusting close the small gap between their thighs. It was a delicious sight, but he soon turned his eyes upwards, watching the different forms of ecstasy work their way through Jim's face and voice. "No, I would not leave you alone for very long ... I would not leave you unattended ..." He said, touching upon that possessive, protective streak. "I would inspect you- make sure you were well prepared ... and then I would have you, my Jim ... how could I resist?"

Jim caught the possessive tone and smiled with a hint of shyness (and he loved playing that way for Khan), eyes lowering slightly.  “Someone might come along and find me there alone and helpless,” he murmured.  “Try to claim me before you.”  He stroked Khan’s chest and scratched over the firm nipples, humming his pleasure.  “What would you do to such a person, who tried to take what was yours?  Who tried to take me?”  And he was playing, but he was also curious.

Khan watched as Jim played the role of a compliant, tender and (somewhat) obedient lover; and while realistically he understood it was just a game to Jim that he liked to play, Khan responded to it very naturally. Jim was his. And the mere notion, even in hypothetical fantasy of someone defiling Jim was hugely upsetting. Angering. Khan growled, jaw clenched and fingers digging in sharply. "No one is to touch you, Jim ... you are mine ... you are mine." He said again with another growl, before adding something that Jim might not like, because it was all too real and not at all a game to Khan. "I would kill them. They have no right to you."

Jim swallowed back a bit of remorse at triggering Khan’s intensity and soothed him softly, “Nobody else will touch me, Noonien.  I wouldn't let them, either.”  He leaned in for a gentle kiss and then rolled a little to the side, asking Khan to take the top position, thinking that having Jim beneath him, safely surrounded might also ease his worries.  And he didn't exactly mind having the powerful Khan above him, still intimately joined.  “Please.”

The kiss Khan gave back however was very demanding and hungry. Though at the prompting, Khan rolled them both over and with another thrust, made sure he was still deep inside his lover. Looking down at him like this, Khan cupped his hands on either side of Jim's face, just behind his ears. His shoulders locked and muscles in his arms tensed as his entire body became a living shield and devoted lover to the man under him. After a few deep breaths and working his fingers against Jim's scalp, Khan began to kiss him again. Taking the time to enjoy his lips, Khan began to make love to Jim again. Fucking him slowly at first, he gave light bites to Jim's lips before pressing in deeper, making more demands on his body, proving that it was his to take. "My Jim."

Jim wrapped one arm around Khan’s broad shoulders and threaded the other hand into his hair, stroking the soft strands.  He held the somewhat wild eyes, feeling how his lover bracketed his whole body, and kissed back, answering the demands with softer acceptance.  His legs wrapped around Khan’s hips, giving him leverage to meet his deepening thrusts and allowing Khan in even further. The whole experience drove Jim’s desire up higher, the signs of how much Khan valued him and wanted to make sure he stayed Khan’s.  That was something he found weird or unwanted in others, but in Khan, it was heady, exciting.  And something to be careful about.  Khan would have to give him up in the end ... and he’d have to give up Khan, as well.

“Yes, yours,” he answered.  “All yours, Noonien.  Beneath you.  With you deep inside of me.  I don’t want to be anyone else’s ... promise.”

There was a great deal of relief with those words. Jim wasn't trying to manipulate him, or make him jealous; for as long as they had together, Jim wanted to be his. And that was good. That made Khan groan and pant against the hot, salty skin of Jim's body. "Your loving Noonien." Khan devoted softly, kissing and licking, losing himself in their lovemaking. His arms snaked around Jim, holding him tightly, "... tell me what you need, my lover. I want to feel you writhe and come while in my arms ... tell me what you need."

Jim swallowed hard and echoed the words, “My loving Noonien.”  He tightened his own hold in response to Khan’s move and nuzzled against his face, searching out his eyes.  His fingers kneaded at Khan’s muscles and considered his question, knowing that his lover was giving him everything he needed already.  “Your voice,” he decided softly.  “I need you to tell me that you want me to come for you now.”

"Yes, Jim-" Khan purred his name, kissing the side of his face. Though he did not shy away from looking Jim in the eye, uncertain of what he was looking for, but hoping to assure him on every level. "I want you to come, my lover." He began, groaning softly at how his body had really opened up for him. Several veins in his groin began to pulse, twisted with excitement. "I want you to come, Jim ... and when you do, I'll fill you up one more time." Licking and kissing the sweat from his neck, then began to pant lightly against his ear. "Need you Jim ... need you to come for me ..."

That was so much better than Jim had imagined, since he’d though Khan would just order him to release.  And that would have been fine.  Amazing even.  But this…

As Khan said he needed him, Jim cried out in pure bliss and spilled between them, copiously and shatteringly.  He buried his face in Khan’s neck reflexively to keep from shaking apart with the force of orgasm, spine nearly melting ... at least it felt that way.  And his body clenched hard around Khan, now out of his control entirely.  “Noonien!” he managed to finally articulate through other noises of pleasure.

"Ah- beautiful." Khan soothed, holding Jim securely as he trembled in his arms and around his hips. He helped his lover ride through it, spilling into him all too easily, gasping and growling his name. Fused together in one hot, sticky, sweet mess, Khan rested a little more of his weight down on Jim; on the one hand it showed just how careful Khan was to never crush the other man, but it was also a statement about how he felt, that even after sex, Khan wasn't going anywhere and was very devoted to Jim. Settling his weight, Khan reached up and touched Jim along the side of his face and jaw, thumbing over the edges of his face with appreciation. "Jim." He said, very satisfied with their encounter.

Jim turned his face to look into Khan’s eyes and smiled, a sleepy, satisfied expression that warmed his eyes.  “Noonien.”  He leaned into the soft hand at his cheek and rubbed a few times against that warm touch.  “That was amazing.  You’re a wonderful lover,” he praised warmly, thinking the truth would please the augment.  With others, he had used crude language and almost harsh words to express his physical pleasure, but with Khan, richer praise and genteel words felt right.  His hands were still wrapped around Khan’s back, but they were loose and gentle, stroking the skin tenderly.  

Khan smiled at the compliment, kissing the side of Jim's face, slowly making his way to his lips. One part of Khan being out of his natural timeline made him somewhat of a gentleman, old fashioned in a way, that comments or critiques about sex were rarely given. It just wasn't something one talked about. But he had grown to be more open and comfortable with such dialogue during his encounters with Jim, both in and outside of the bedroom. "As are you, Jim." He said, meaning every word, even if it sounded a bit simple. "I savor our time together." Relaxing and resting his head on Jim's shoulder, Khan continued to lightly touch as well, aftercare concerns soon coming to mind. "Are you comfortable? Not too heavy for you, am I?"

Jim turned to press a kiss to Khan’s forehead, rather enjoying the way his lover was sprawled on all over him.  There was something almost submissive about the way Khan had rested his head on Jim’s shoulder, not that he would ever say such a thing.  He shook his head in response and said, “I’m rather comfortable, really.  I like the way we’re tangled together. I wouldn't mind taking a shower or bath together in a little while, soak out some of my aches.”  He hesitated briefly on the words, but then threw caution to the wind.  “It’d let me stay in your arms awhile longer, too.”

"You have facilities for a bath?" Khan lifted his gaze to catch the corner of Jim's eyes. "That is a luxury I would not have expected on a spaceship." But one he was more than happy to indulge in with Jim. Sliding his hand up his torso, then down along his sides, resting on the bone of his hip, Khan gently rubbed, knowing that he must indeed be sore. "But I would like that very much, Jim ... it sounds like a very relaxing end to our day."

“Shhh, don’t tell,” Jim said with a wink and a grin.  “There’s a couple of therapeutic bathing facilities aboard that I can use, Captain’s privilege, as long as there’s no official need for them.”  He hummed softly at the way Khan touched him, all care and tenderness, easing away a few of the aches from the night’s activities.  “A perfect end to the day.  We can bathe each other ... if you like.”

“Thinking of what you like, I want you to know I’m open to whatever you’d like to try in terms of this relationship.  If there’s some fantasy you've always wanted to explore, as simple or complex as you like, I’m game.  Or if there are some activities or any kind, I don’t just mean sexual ... well, I want to try and give those to you, too.  If you’d like that …”  Jim smiled drowsily at his lover, a bit worn out.

Khan had nodded slightly in agreement, nuzzling Jim against his shoulder at the idea of bathing one another. It sounded lovely. Though as Jim began to talk about future encounters, Khan gave him his full attention. Raising his head, then pushing up onto his arms a few inches, Khan gave them enough space to get a good look at one another before speaking. "That is a very bold offer." Khan said with a grin, "I will have to give it my full attention and consider my proposal in return." Bowing his head forward, Khan pressed a few kisses to the front of Jim's chest as he eased himself back, slipping out at last with a sigh. "You know-" He said, continuing to press kisses down his body, even licking away a few drops of cum against his stomach, "I invite you to be just as open and forthcoming as well."

Jim groaned in disappointment and a twinge of discomfort as Khan parted from his body and shook himself out and awake a little.  His skin twitched a little under the tickling tongue, and he reached for Khan, just brushing over the top of his head with his fingers.  “I’m a bit of a risk taker, in case you hadn't noticed,” he teased, shifting a little underneath Khan’s attentions.  “And I think you have an active and agile imagination and that you've deprived yourself too long of company and fun, so that there’s a backlog of ideas in that big brain of yours.  I want to give them to you ... as many as I can.”

His trademark grin flashed at Khan.  “And I’m happy to come up with a few of my own.  Do you like honey?  I've always kind of fetishized the idea of being drenched in the stuff and licked clean, a feast for my lover ... doesn't have to be honey, of course.  Just the idea of being a feast ...”  His tongue flicked over his lips.

Khan hummed happily, eyes lightly closing as Jim pet his fingers through his hair. Carefully moving out from between Jim's thighs, Khan rested to one side of him, reaching for the edge of a blanket to pull over their hips, keeping in some of the warmth of their bodies. It was true, Khan had a very active brain, but he had never before had the opportunity to pursue these sorts of things, but since Jim had given him consent, it helped free his mind, and in time would allow Khan to pursue fun and simple pleasures with his partner. It would be quite freeing and liberating for him.

"I am very fond of honey." Khan assured, keeping one arm hooked across Jim's torso, holding him as they spoke. "And I am very fond of having you on my tongue. I would quite enjoy licking you clean, Jim ... I would be happy to devour you." He said with a slightly predatory grin.

Jim rolled toward him and scooted in to cuddle, always liking to be close to his lovers.  He snorted a little and kissed that predatory expression, before saying, “I thought the idea might appeal to you.  Poor defenseless little me.”  He smirked very slightly, eyes crinkling with amusement.

He curled in, eyes shutting as he succumbed to some of his tiredness.  “Don’t let me fall asleep for too long.  I want that bath.”  His fingers stroked over Khan’s chest lightly, before stopping to just rest, tucked against him.

"Yes, Jim." Khan said, supporting the back of his head with a hand, enjoying the feeling of Jim curled up against him, head to his chest. His heart beat was steady and strong, but his breathing was calm. "I will ensure that we still have time for it." He said, nuzzling the top of his head before settling as well, nose pressed to his scalp, pleased by the smells of their lovemaking and how he could still sense that Jim Kirk was still entirely his, family.

Jim dozed peacefully in Khan’s arms for awhile, the augment’s warmth and strength easing all the tension out of his body.  He was almost a boneless sprawl against his lover, scooting even closer in his sleep to meld along his entire form.  So, when he woke after awhile, eyes blinking dozily up into Khan’s, he found himself completely entangled with the other man.

“‘Lo,” he said, sounding and looking almost impossibly young.  “You’re warm.”

Khan had remained still as Jim rested. With his eyes closed and head pressed close, Khan kept Jim in his arms, pleased and content. Though as Jim stirred, Khan smiled at him, tone soft and low, but happy. "Go back to sleep if you like."

Jim shook his head and said, “We should try that bath now, Noonien ... if you’re still interested.”  He pressed a soft kiss to his lover’s mouth and then a longer one, gentle, but lingering.  His arms lifted from their prone position to wrap around Khan’s shoulders and hold on as he continued the kissing, losing himself in the moment.

"Yes." Khan said gently between their lips, kissing back with a sigh as he too began to move again. "I presume we must dress, to get to these therapeutic baths?" Which was unfortunate, as he did not feel much like putting clothing on or moving away from Jim at this moment. "Shall I carry you?" He asked with a smile, wanting it to be easy on Jim and not to put any more stress on his sore body.

“Carry me through the halls for all the crew to see?” Jim asked and rubbed their noses together in a playful gesture.  “Not sure I’m quite ready for that.  And I’m not that sore.  You took care of me, Noonien.”  He sucked at his lower lip and asked for his tongue that way, play and affection in the gesture.

Even though it was unlikely that Jim would have accepted the offer, it was in Khan to offer all the same. He smiled however to hear that Jim was not too sore, that he felt well taken care of, that pleased him greatly, feeling it reflected well on him. Though as Jim asked for a little more in their kiss, Khan pressed his tongue to part his lips, offering it up to be sucked on, or to touch and tease.

Jim stroked his tongue over Khan’s playfully, entwining them together with a happy hum.  One leg lifted to wrap around Khan’s hip and tugged himself closer, not trying to instigate anything, but wanting to be near his lover.  He pulled back a little and smiled sweetly at him, saying, “I wouldn't mind being carried, really, but the baths are a bit of a trek.  People might get worried.”

"I would not want to concern your people."  Khan said, draping an arm loosely over Jim's middle, if only to keep him from slipping off. Nuzzling their faces together, Khan wordlessly asked for another kiss, before pressing their mouths together again, his tongue probing for similar attention. Though this time he sucked on his a little in turn with a low hum.

Jim explored Khan’s mouth with practiced ease and also deep enjoyment, finding every nook and cranny.  He hummed contentment and pulled back only when his breath ran low.  Laughing softly, he said, “You’re very good at this, you know.  Being playful and affectionate, I mean.  But it’s kind of new for you, isn't it?”  He stroked Khan’s soft hair and tugged lightly at the strands.

"Perhaps in a way ... being playful, games ... these are new things to me." Having fun. But Kirk was working with him, and not just between the sheets, to better understand and accept that it was alright to find joy in life. "But affectionate? I have always felt in my heart that I was capable of love and affection. However, there have been few opportunities to openly express it." He had after all great love and affection for his people, but it was not expressed in traditional ways. "I may have been engineered, with every cell constructed to perfection ... but my capacity to love was not designed in a lab. It is something entirely ... my own." Khan said, in a way proud that he had this thing about him, which was not artificially created, but something he grew and learned to develop on his own.

Jim studied him for a moment and then said quietly, “Everything that is really important about you is truly your own, Noonien.”  And he really believed that.  For all that Khan had been ‘created’ the real things were all his, something no test tube or genetic engineering could manufacture.  He rolled on his back and tugged Khan after him, wanting to be securely under his powerful lover again, able to wrap around him and enjoy some more lazy making out, before they climbed out of the warm bed.

Khan blinked lightly a few times, processing what Jim was telling him. What he was designed for, was not important, or at least, no longer relevant. What he was now, was all that mattered. It would take some time to come to terms with that, but now that it was in his head, he would take the time to consider his position. "Thank you." He said gently, still looking quite thoughtful as he rolled over on top of Jim, resting his weight on him, framing his body with his own.

The thoughtful tone and expression gave Jim pause, and he smiled up at Khan softly, stroking his back and hair.  “There’s no need to thank me for the truth, Noonien.  Your goodness is entirely of your own making.  Nobody else is responsible.  No more than for your actions, both fun and affectionate, to me.  That’s just my loving Noonien.”  He pushed up into him, illustrating how comfortable and happy he was to be stretched out underneath his strength.

"Yes." Khan purred the word, neck arching as Jim pet his hair, "Your loving Noonien." Laying there like this, Khan felt he could protect Jim from anything. Anywhere from crewmen or Starfleet wanting his attention, to an explosion going off beside the bed, none of it would get past him, none of it would disturb or hurt his Jim. For these few private moments at least, Jim Kirk was entirely his own.

Jim searched for every spot on Khan’s head that made him push appreciatively into his busy fingers.  He enjoyed the shared moments between them, when nothing and nobody else mattered.  And he savored how Khan basked in being called ‘his loving Noonien.’  He wondered to himself how true that sentiment really was, but decided it didn't matter.  Anything Khan was willing to offer, Jim would gratefully accept and try to match.  The augment deserved someone who cared for him, especially since he was so willing and wanted seemingly so much to give.

“Let’s go get that bath?” Jim asked softly.  “I have a sudden craving to lie in your arms, immersed in warm water.”

Once, Khan had been a powerful leader, ruling, but also protecting millions. From the east coastline of Asia, right across hundreds of nations and peoples, well into the middle east. He had millions of people to care for then. And he did. He had cared for them a great deal. Several thousands had come to see him as a father figure. A beloved leader. And several hundreds he had considered his family. Now he only had his 72. And Kirk. And in his time alone, separated from his family and from his past, Khan had noted the absence of being so loved on such a grand scale. While he in turn had no one to care for, to protect or adore. His role had been reduced to isolated prisoner and test subject, instead of respected leader. So it made it difficult to believe that after all this, his people would love him as they once had. It was what he truly feared the most; they would see the fault in him, and not only no longer love him the same, but also no longer want his love for them either. It was a troubling thought that had taken hold of a dark corner of Khan's mind, and only continued to grow the closer they got to finding a permanent settlement. The 72 were all that Khan had left of his millions. And if those few rejected him in the end, it would break his heart.

For now, Khan gave Jim Kirk his love and attention and protection. He treated him well, and was pleased to find that he was treated well in return. "That sounds lovely." Khan answered, kissing Jim on the side of the face before he carefully pushed away, giving Jim room to move once more. Rolling to the edge of the bed, Khan sat up, legs over the side as he glanced around for suitable clothing with a sigh, still not entirely motivated to clothe himself when it felt so comfortable to lay naked with the young Starfleet Captain in his arms.

Jim laughed a little at the sigh and sat up after Khan, pressing a warm kiss to his nape.  “I second that emotion,” he said and rested his head on Khan’s broad back.  “We have a little time before your next potential home.  How about, the next M class planet we explore, you and I take a day together?  We can find the most beautiful place and spend some time wandering and enjoying our surroundings ... and each other.”  He kissed Khan’s neck again and then slid off the bed with a somewhat weary groan.  

“Oh, we stretched out my muscles in all kinds of ways, didn't we?” Jim asked with a light laugh, as he slowly pulled on some of his more relaxing, off-duty clothes.  “The bath really will feel wonderful.”  He returned to Khan’s side and initiated another kiss, sliding into his lap.  “Hello.”

"Yes, Jim." Khan answered, a warm shiver spreading through his back as Jim kissed his skin. He looked up and watched Jim dress, giving him his full attention. "Another date. An adventure, just for us." He said, sliding his hands over Jim's thighs as he slipped back onto his lap. "I am curious to experience new worlds and cultures ... even if I am not to call them home."

Jim draped his arms around Khan’s shoulders and smiled at him, eyes warm and happy.  “There’s almost nothing better than seeing a new sky for the first time.  Making a first contact. Being the first to see some new scientific marvel.  Bones said once that space is danger and disease wrapped in darkness and silence, but I think it’s opportunity and freedom, attractively packaged and just waiting for those who are brave enough to go out and look it over.”

He looked a little chagrined and gave Khan a sideways smile.  “I get a little overexcited sometimes about exploration.  I know it’s not for everyone.  A lot of people, all peoples, want a home and family, which isn't really possible in the black.  You have to make your own family out here.”  He nuzzled Khan’s cheek and then kissed him.

"Yes, Captain." Khan agreed, blue eyes looking wet, like some immeasurable depth of the ocean. They were not sharp or angry these days, but full with singular focus on Jim Kirk. "Do you consider me family?" He asked at last, even though the sense of the word was perhaps a little different between the two of them, Khan wanted to know how Jim viewed him.

Jim smiled at him and stroked those sharp cheekbones softly.  “Yes, Noonien, I do.  You’re part of my crew and family.  Close family.  I don’t have many people who are part of my immediate family.”  He leaned in for another, deeper, yet somehow ever softer, kiss, sucking on Khan’s lower lip and tongue.

Khan felt his heart jump eagerly in his chest. He had considered Jim family from the beginning, from first learning of their shared blood, of getting that first scent into his lungs. But it made it all the better that Jim considered him family as well. It was something powerful, they both understood about the other, equally. Intimate. Important. Loved. Khan groaned into Jim's mouth, relaxing into the kiss as the other man sucked on his tongue, drawing him in for a taste.

“Noonien,” Jim said affectionately and rested their foreheads together when the kiss ended.  “Tell me, do I still smell like your family?  Am I still your blood?”  He ran his fingers tenderly over Khan’s neck, massaging gently.  He knew he was important to Khan for other reasons now, but wanted that connection to remain, as well.

"Yes, Captain." Khan answered instantly. Closing his eyes, Khan kept their heads pressed together, breathing in slowly as his head slowly dropped, nose pressed to Jim's jaw, near his ear. His breath was light against his skin, but warm too. "We are of the same blood. We are family. That can never be undone. My Jim ..." He trailed off, licking the side of his neck, dragging his tongue along the length of muscle with a satisfied hum.

Jim moved with the tongue, humming happily as the tongue worked up the side of neck.  “Mmmm, that feels wonderful.  I wouldn't mind having you do that all over me sometime.”  He tugged at Khan’s hair playfully.  “We need to move and go get that bath, or I’m just going to want to pounce you all over right here and now.”

"You are the one who sat on my lap." Khan reminded him with a gentle purr. "You are the one who began to speak in kind words. To kiss and touch me in ways you know I respond to. You are to blame for this." Khan kissed the side of his neck, letting his lips linger on the salty skin. "But you have promised me a bath. So this is what we shall have. Now, let me dress and we shall go."

“Yes, I guess I did sort of shamelessly decide to cuddle,” Jim said, smiling at the purr.  He stroked Khan’s chest.  “I do hope you’ll forgive me for the kind words and touches, too.”  With a wink and a teasing wriggle, Jim hopped off Khan reluctantly.  “But I did promise you a bath ... and me, too.  It’ll be lovely.”

Once Jim let him up, Khan stood and reached for one of the bed sheets. Wrapping it around his hips several times, Khan then draped the remaining portion over the front of his chest and down his back. It was modest enough to get him down the hall, and if anything, it made him look like a senator or emperor of ancient Rome. "Lead the way, dear lover."

Jim looked him over and said, “You make a bedsheet look good.”  He reached back for Khan’s hand again, hoping his lover would accept the gesture.  “Nice thing is, the baths are fully equipped, so we won’t need to bring anything except ourselves.”

More then willing, Khan accepted the offered hand, interlacing their fingers. "I do not want to keep you from sleeping tonight, Captain. When are you scheduled for duty? So that I know how long we have in the bath together, and in bed, tonight?" They were having a great deal of fun together this evening, and though technically it was quite late, Khan wanted to be sure that Jim got some manner of rest.

“I have Beta shift tomorrow, so we have extra time,” Jim said.  “Spock wanted the Bridge on Alpha, since he as a couple of science demonstrations during Beta.  I wish I could be at those ... everyone who gives a presentation of their latest research is both excited and terrified.  A simple positive word from him, and they’re beside themselves.  But if he is even a tiny bit discouraging ... the world collapses beneath them.”  He chuckled and shook his head, squeezing Khan’s fingers.  “Anyway, that’s a long-winded way of saying we have some time.”

Jim led the way to the turbolift again, but asked for a different deck.  “This is the medical deck, which the baths are a part of because of their therapeutic uses.  However, they’re out of the way of the rest, since they’re less commonly used.  Which is perfect for us.”

Khan nodded, having come to learn that Commander Spock was very well respected. The entire crew was, but Commander Spock held a certain authority among his peers that made the crew, just as Jim described, very keen on impressing him. "Perhaps I will sit in on the presentations." Khan said, thinking out loud. He was curious to learn about what was being researched, what projects were being given the most attention.

“That’d be awesome,” Jim said and then pouted.  “Now, I really want to see the presentations.  You and Spock critiquing them together ... I’ll have to make sure that gets recorded.  Epic.”  He stopped at a door and punched in the captain’s override code, grinning when the room registered as empty.  “Perfect.”

"If my comments are welcome." Khan said, clearly not intending to go there to do anything but listen. But if his feedback was wanted, he would speak. Khan entered into the private bathing room with Jim and was impressed by the sizable tub that could accommodate two or three grown men. Then again, not all races were of humanoid design, so it had to be big enough for all varieties of species.

“Oh sweet, this is one of the large baths,” Jim said.  “I wasn't sure I got the right room.”  He locked the door behind them and went to mess with the controls.  “Let’s see, we've got all kinds of options.  You want one of the light massage settings?  I don’t think anything more is necessary.  Though the jets might be fun for later.  Warm, but not too hot?”

"I trust your judgment." Khan said, loosening the blankets from around his body and letting them slip off and drop to the floor. The bath was meant to be a shared experience, though if he were to be entirely selfish, he would have nearly boiling hot water to sit in, digging deep into his muscles and bone. But that was not the intention for this kind of bath, as it would reflect poorly if Jim walked away with second degree burns from something that was meant to be enjoyable. A warm bath with Jim in his arms would be more then enough.

“Hmm, maybe some of the soothers, which are the mini jets,” Jim mumbled, thinking Khan would like those.  He turned on the water and stripped while it filled the large tub.  “So, what you said about comments on the science presentations ... I am sure that you’ll have ideas and opinions, given your intellect, and we’d be fools not to hear them.  And I want you to feel free to share them.  If you want.”

He dipped his toe in the water to test the temperature and made a happy noise.  “Perfect.  Care to join me?”  He walked into the water and slid into one of the carved benches, eyes warm and inviting.

"If I feel my comments are welcome, or necessary in order to prevent disaster, I will speak. I have no wish to show disrespect to Commander Spock, nor your crew, by speaking out of turn." Khan took very seriously the order of things. The crew of the Enterprise served under Kirk's command, and Khan was under his command as well, so he was careful not to put himself above the others. Even when he had answers, and the humans did not. Khan stepped in after Jim, settling easily with a sigh, though let his arms float to the surface, shoulders relaxing back into the wall of the tub.

“I’d like to lean against you, if you allow,” Jim said with a smile at Khan, gesturing to one of the benches.  “Is the water to your liking?”  He wanted to speak to Khan’s words about talking at the presentations, but decided to wait until after they had settled comfortably.  That was first priority, after all.

"Yes, of course-" Khan smiled, arms opening up to draw Jim in. The steam was even making his thick black hair damp and slick back against his head. "This is quite nice." He said, letting the warmth and light pressure of being submerged in water bring him comfort. Space could be a cold place, so this was a refreshing, human, treat.

Jim slid back to rest against Khan, in the circle of his legs and arms, and allowed himself to relax against his lover.  His head found a natural place against Khan’s left shoulder, and he closed his eyes in contentment.  “Mmm, this is nice.”

"I agree." Khan said gently, kissing his temple, then left his nose buried against his scalp with a sigh. His arms naturally closed around his lover, holding him lightly as they relaxed together in the warm bath. Closing his eyes, Khan hoped to have many more evenings like this one. Peaceful and content with his companionship with Jim, these private and intimate moments.

Jim threaded his fingers through Khan’s and spent a few moments just enjoying the warmth of the water and his lover.  Finally, he said, “Getting back to what we discussed before, your attendance at the science lectures, please don’t hold back with comments.  I know you won’t be unkind, and your mind is too amazing to waste.”

"Thank you, Captain." Khan kissed his temple again before lifting his head to speak, not wanting to be too loud against his ear. "You are correct, I will not be unkind, or at least, it will not be my intention ... but these things come very easily to me. I have in the past, deconstructed the work that men had previously spent their entire lives on ... within hours of being introduced to the material. I do not wish to marginalize or belittle their efforts by exposing the flaws that are obvious to me. I do not wish to be resented, for being what I am."

Jim chuckled lightly and said, “That would be hard on a lot of egos.  Maybe you can just deconstruct Spock’s work.  In the interest of science, he should be happy to hear your opinion.”  He stroked the soft skin of Khan’s left thigh, fingers gently exploring the crease between thigh and torso.  “Maybe you can make your own presentation.”

"If it is welcome." Khan answered. He was still finding his place among the other crewmen, and though it was true that he had a lot to offer them, it was difficult to reason some days if he should or not. If pressed to the task, Khan could likely solve nearly all the problems of science and engineering and medicine Starfleet was currently struggling with. But should he, was the question. Should he provide solutions with such ease? Khan saw it as a dangerous path in the long term, where humans became complacent with the answers being given to them, without earning it themselves.

The question was, what loyalty did Khan still have towards humanity. Did he still want to be apart of their success. Or should he keep his work and his answers to himself, to his own people. It was actually quite a difficult situation, as Khan could feel his loyalty being stretched between the two people, a little more every day. He had grown to care for Kirk and his crew, about their lives and their success. But these thoughts were unwelcome to Khan. Even thinking them made him feel as if he were being disloyal to his own people.

Khan swallowed hard, silencing himself. His fingers found their way against Jim's scalp, petting his short blond hair. However, the speculative thinking did not easily abandon him. His mind swam with possible futures. Among them, asking to stay aboard the Enterprise, once his people had been successfully relocated. Asking, so that he might travel and experience the universe. To be a part of the crew, to have his words respected and heeded. But it was this future, which taunted him so loudly in his mind, that in fact hurt the most. It would be a selfish thing, to stay, to leave his people behind with a new leader. Then again, he had already proven himself selfish by taking up with Jim Kirk, to take him as such a beloved lover.

Turning his head away, Khan allowed a few tears to slip from his eyes, down the sides of his face and become lost to the hot bath water. The guilt of what he was thinking, of what he was considering, of what he was already doing, weighed very heavily on him. It had dug in deep and stung in such a way that could not be ignored.

Jim glanced back and frowned at the way Khan’s head was turned away from him.  He could just make out what appeared to be a very unhappy expression.  Shifting in place, he reached out for his lover, concerned about what had triggered such a response.  “Noonien,” he murmured softly.  “Noonien, what’s wrong?  Did I say something?  Do something?”  He wracked his brain for whatever he might have done to make his lover react in such a way.  “Please, talk to me, love.”

Khan turned his head away again, as he had meant to conceal himself. But he soon after obeyed, turning his eyes back on Jim, momentarily lost as to how to explain such things to him. "You do- and say only good things, Jim. The difficulty and pain is by my own hands, not yours." His hand drifted in the water to touch Jim across his chest and down his sides. He had not meant to sour their time together, but it had come upon him swiftly and had proven difficult to ignore. "You have done nothing wrong ... my heart began to ache ... that is all."

“Why, Noonien?” Jim asked and leaned into his hands.  “What made your heart ache?”  He placed a gentle hand over Khan’s heart, eyes warm and worried as they gazed up at him.  He tried not to dwell on the fact that they’d be parted soon, but wondered if that was what bothered his lover.  Khan was far more sensitive than he would ever have imagined to begin with, but that only made him more endearing somehow.

"I wish to be reunited with my people. I wish to see them happy and to flourish." Khan said, feeling he was stating the obvious, but speaking nevertheless. "I want to hear their dreams and watch them achieve great things ... to hold their children, the first of our kind, in my arms ..." Khan said, looking down as his eyes began to gather wet pools around the edges. Bowing his head in closer, Khan then whispered the next close to Jim's ear, as if that would help keep his secret. "But I do not wish to leave you."

“My Noonien,” Jim whispered back and kissed his mouth softly, before kissing the corner of each eye tenderly.  “I do not want you to leave, either.  I have never had a lover like you before, never even wanted one.  But now that I have you ... letting you go will be one of the hardest things I ever do.”

He turned completely to kneel between Khan’s legs, seeking out his mouth to kiss tenderly, sharing the moments they did have together.  His arms wrapped around broad shoulders, holding tightly to press them together.

"Sometimes, you say things that inspire me to believe, to think, that there could be a place for me here. With you. On the Enterprise. But the moment I think these things ... I feel ... ashamed ... and guilt ... for indulging these thoughts instead of keeping my focus on my people, only." Khan rested his hands on Jim's sides, but kept his touches light, instead of grabbing at the other man firmly or to show any of his power. Right now, he did not feel very powerful at all.

“If you wanted a place here, Noonien, I would not deny it to you now,” Jim said seriously.  “And not because I want to keep you here with me, but because I know you’d be an amazing asset to my crew.”  He thumbed over Khan’s cheeks tenderly.  “But I understand that you want, need, to be there with your people to build a new home.”  He pressed their foreheads together and shut his eyes for a moment.

“You will live a long time, Noonien, and during that time, your people will grow strong.  Perhaps one day, they will be strong enough for you to leave them and explore the stars.  Maybe some of them will come with you.”

Khan clenched his eyes closed as the two pressed their foreheads together. He was trying to imagine the future Jim was suggesting, one where he could still be there for his people, where he would still have their love, and one day they would join him to travel the stars. Khan was not a man prone to doubts and fears, but then again, that was the reason why his family was his weakness. Lips parted, Khan just breathed in and out softly, trying to allow himself to find reassurance in Jim's hopeful words. He was very good at that. It was a marvel to Khan, and it was fair to admit that Jim Kirk was better than him, in this area.

For quite some time, Khan did not speak. But instead, he let their noses and lips lightly brush, and his hands caress Jim along the frame of his body. Eventually though, his worries and heart ache had been pushed down for another day. "It was not my intention to sour the mood." He said at last, drawing his arms around Jim to settle with him in the bath once more.

Jim shook his head and relaxed against Khan with the softest groan.  “You didn't sour anything, Noonien.  Part of being in a relationship is accepting the serious, as well as the fun.”  He laughed softly at himself and said, “There’s a lot of people who would be shocked to hear me say that.  You've helped me grow up a lot, too, Noonien.  Being with you is important to me.”  He tilted his head to kiss the nearest part of Khan, which happened to be his shoulder.  “And I want you to feel that you can ask me for more than just pleasure.”  He shut his eyes and savored the warm strength of his lover.  

Finally Khan's expression turned happier, quite pleased that Jim took their relationship seriously, that it had matured him in a way too. "I know, Jim. We have spoken about important and difficult issues before, I trust you with them, as they are just as intimate as other exchanges." Khan said, his hands moving slowly up and down Jim now, not just to touch him, but also wash away some of the salt and sweat and aches of his body.

Jim felt the cares of the day wash away under the tenderness of Khan’s hands.  He wrapped an arm around Khan’s neck and basked in his attentions, eyes half-lidded and body completely pliant.  He was glad to see and feel Khan relax more behind him, especially since his lover had been upset just a few short moments ago.  Khan’s emotions were strong, much stronger than most people Jim knew, and he wondered if that wasn't part of being augmented, too.  Still, he couldn't really ask that, but did marvel quietly to himself that he’d chosen such a complicated lover as his first serious relationship.

“Do you wish me to wash you off, as well, Noonien?” he asked, turning his head very slightly to smile up at him.  “You know I don’t mind.”

Khan let his hands drift over Jim's stomach, then up his chest as he spoke, enjoying how he could feel the vibrations in his chest of every word and the way he breathed. "Yes Jim, I would quite like that." He said, nuzzling the side of his face. "Would you consider washing my hair?" He asked, posing the question with curious, watchful eyes. "I would quite like to feel your fingers against my scalp." In part though, Khan was trusting him with what was designed to be the most valuable part of him, his head.

“Of course,” Jim said, “that would be part of the wash experience.  I can start there, if you like.  Or finish with the hair, if you’d prefer to wait for that area.  Leave the best for last, as it were.”  He caught one of Khan’s hands over his stomach and pressed up into it a little.  “Only bad part is moving out of your arms.  I guess I can kneel between your legs and wash you that way.  You can just keep hold of my hips, if you like.  And I can kiss you when I get the urge ... which might be frequently.”

"Start with my head, and we may work our way down as needed." Khan said, letting himself sink down slightly until the water came up to his neck. Though he did like Jim's suggestion, and kept a light hold of him, hands finding his hips in the warm water, turning him so that they could face one another.

Jim first made sure Khan’s hair was nice and wet, dribbling water over it and sluicing it through the thick strands.  He made a nice lather of shampoo next and began massaging it into his scalp, hands knowing.  Knots were gently untangled, and no bit of hair was missed by his busy fingers.  And then, with a playful grin, he spiked the long hair in all directions, so Khan resembled an augmented porcupine on top.

Sitting quietly, Khan allowed himself to close his eyes a few times, trusting and relaxing into Jim's touch. Though as he began to feel Jim tease his hair in strange directions, his eyes opened and he watched Jim with amusement. He did not mind being handled this way, as he found Jim's playfulness endearing. Sinking down again, Khan submerged the front of his face so that only his nose was just above the surface, breathing in and out steadily as the soap and water dripped down the sides of his face and the back of his head. After a few minutes longer, Khan let himself go under, eyes closed and face relaxed as his entire head went under the water, hair swaying and parting as it rinsed itself between Jim's playful and dedicated fingers.

Jim braced himself and watched Khan go under the water, helping to clear all of the soap from Khan’s hair.  He made sure he did not put any pressure on Khan’s head, as if trying to hold him down, even as he worked out a few last tangles.  Then he put his hands back down to his sides and waited for Khan to re-emerge.

When Khan reemerged, his eyes opened easily and only blinked once to get rid of the water that clung to his eyelashes. He sat up slowly, finding once more his usual comfortable, solid, erect state, head drawn up and shoulders back. But he gave Jim a slowly growing smile and leaned in to kiss him. "Do I look better?" he asked, eyes down on Jim's lips as he spoke, before kissing them again.

Jim hummed into the kiss and pressed close to his lover, settling easily on his lap.  He turned his head to deepen the contact of their mouths, arms settling around his shoulders.  “You look very pretty,” he teased, “though I like it better spiked.”  He laughed lightly and kissed him again, before darting his mouth over his cheekbones.  “You’re extremely handsome,” he said more seriously.

Pleased with the compliment and satisfied that he was not a smelly mess, Khan let his head drop back slightly on his shoulders as Jim continued to give him attention. His arms however found their way around Jim's body, one around his back and side, the other hooked around his legs to keep him on his lap. "This is a very relaxing end to our day. I have enjoyed my evening with you, Jim."

“Yes, this has been an excellent night,” Jim said with a smile.  “I've had a lot of fun, and you've been nothing but good to me.”  He framed Khan’s face with gentle hands and leaned in for another sweet kiss, lingering with their lips and tongues playing.  He wondered if his lover wanted one more round before they retired for the night, knowing the augment must have the stamina for it.  And he wouldn't mind so much, either.

While it would be easy for Khan to make love to Jim again, especially in the tub, as it took off some pressure from both of them, Khan was proving himself to be quite docile at the moment. He was not prompting or asking for anything, anymore then when he already had with Jim on his lap and in his arms. "I hope to always be good to you, Jim, and never leave you disappointed." It was now that Khan continued to gently scrub at Jim's back, lightly scratching with his fingers to wash away the dead cells and expose, new fresh skin.

“I’m never worried about being disappointed with you," Jim assured.  "More the opposite, really."  He openly savored the comfort of being in Khan's lap, secure and warm.  

“Let me condition your hair, too?” Jim asked, wiggling happily against the hands on his back.  “You have enough to make it worth it.  Besides, I want to keep touching your hair.  I admit it.”  He grinned at his lover and mimed washing motions with his fingers.

"Yes Jim, in your hands, I am willing." Khan found these sorts of grooming touches to be very personal and a way to express trust and to strengthen their connection. The flats of his hands slid down Jim's thighs, over his knees, then back up, keeping him pressed close, even when he squirmed on his lap.

Jim worked with contented efficiency, washing Khan’s hair with a tender touch. He lingered over the task, not really wanting the evening or the bath to end.  Working deep in Khan’s scalp again, he tried to make the augment feel good all over just through the touch to his head.  He worked from back to front and then repeated the motion, until he had covered every inch of the strong dome.  “How was that?” he asked.  “Ready to wash out?”

"Very good. Very relaxing." Khan answered, eyes partly closed, with a little smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. The massage to his scalp had put him into a mellow trance, completely at ease under Jim's fingers. With a sigh, Khan let himself sink down once more, submerging his head, slightly tipped back to rinse out his hair, but this time keep the water out of his eyes, which he kept close to the surface.

Jim gently washed the rest of the conditioner out of Khan’s hair and then pulled back.  He surveyed him with warm, delighted eyes and then asked softly, “Will you do the same for me, Noonien?  I’d like your hands all over me, if you would.”  He lowered his eyes and looked at Khan through his eyelashes.

"Yes, Jim. It would be my pleasure." Khan said, pressing his lips against the side of his face. And while he knew that Jim was only playing-at being shy, with his downward glances, Khan was emboldened by the emotions it invoked. Jim was his to care for. And even though he was the captain of the Enterprise, Jim would willingly submit to Khan in this way, even now.

At first, Khan ran his wet fingers through Jim's hair, making sure it was damp enough before he began a lather of shampoo. Working from the base of his skull, upwards to the top of his head, Khan massaged his scalp and washed the short blond hair between his fingertips.

Jim groaned and nearly melted into a puddle of contented goo.  “Oh fuck, that’s amazing,” he said and leaned into Khan, eyes closed with bliss.  “Your hands are perfect, Noonien.   It’s like I can feel every individual bit of my head tingle under them.  No wonder I want them all over me all the time.  They’re completely magical.  Just let me bliss out now.”  He put his hands on Khan’s shoulders and propped himself up that way, also using it as an excuse to practically knead the strong muscles.  “Like I said, Noonien, you never disappoint me.”

"I am pleased to hear it." Khan said gently, keeping his voice soft and low as he pet his fingers against Jim's scalp, brushing the hairs back against his forehead as he continued to lather. In turn, Khan enjoyed how Jim held onto him, trusting, with his eyes closed, gripping his shoulders. It made him feel very wanted, very important, and of course, strong. "Tip your head back?" He suggested, one hand going to the back of his neck for support, the other cupping the side of his skull, just beside his ear.

“All right,” Jim murmured and tilted his head back, allowing Khan to support him fully.  He sighed and slid his hands down to stroke over Khan’s broad chest, before teasingly tugging at each of his nipples.  He gently tested Khan’s boundaries and desires.   “That feel good, love?  Or is that too much?”

Khan offered no sign of protest or discomfort, but instead sucked on his own lower lip as he eased Jim's head back into the water. "Yes- it does." He said, cupping handfuls of water at a time to rinse away the soap from the sides of Jim's head first, then more along the top, careful not to let it drip down the front of his face or into his eyes. "But I always enjoy your touch, Jim. You needn't ask permission ..." He said, giving his lover a little more freedom to touch and explore him in ways Khan had previously been cold or distant to without his explicit direction or consent.

“That’s a dangerous thing to bequeath me,” Jim said after all of the soapy water had run down his face.  He dared to open his eyes and look at Khan warmly.  “But I’m happy to take you up on it.”  He emphasized that by caressing the broad chest under his fingertips, the velvet skin over the strong muscles a delightful combination.  

Jim admitted to himself that letting his lover go would be one of the most difficult things he’d ever done, and that was saying something!  He had learned to care deeply for the difficult augment, especially since the learning went both ways.  He could see Khan changing before his eyes, he hoped in positive directions.  He also hoped that Khan saw the same thing in him, a growth curve into a more serious man when it came to caring for another person.

Now that the shampoo was rinsed from his hair, Khan drew Jim back into his arms. This time however, Khan let his eyes drop down, observing the hands upon his chest, noting their unique warmth and strength with a little smile. "I will want you in my arms, much like this, in your bed tonight, Jim." Khan admitted, raising his gaze, chest rising and falling deeply with each breath.

“And for every other night we can sneak in?” Jim asked, letting the sensation of Khan’s steady, strong breathing soothe him.  “I think I’m going to like having you wrapped around me in bed.”  He lounged contentedly on Khan’s lap, the warm water lapping at their sides and increasing the feeling of general well-being.

"As long as you will have me." Khan answered, knowing that the invitation to share Jim's bed at night had limits. Petting his hands over the tender, mortal body before him, Khan smiled to himself. "Have you had a satisfying soak? Would you like to return to your quarters?" If Jim let him, Khan felt he could fall asleep in the hot bath with Jim on his lap, but felt it would be better for the both of them to return to the bedroom.

Jim stretched with a regretful groan.  “Yeah, I guess we better.  A shame ... this is pretty damn relaxing.”  He blinked a few times sleepily at Khan and then leaned in to kiss his nose sweetly.  “Let me fetch some towels.”  He crawled slowly out of the tub and headed over to snag a few large, fluffy towels from the side of the room.  Bringing one back, he held one up to wrap around Khan when he exited the water.  

Watching his lover fetch the towels for them was very pleasing, and teased Khan with other futures, other realities, other universes where this sort of arrangement would have been commonplace. Stepping out of the tub, Khan allowed Jim to wrap him in the towel, enjoying those dedicated hands. "Thank you." He said, keeping one hand on Jim at all times now that they were no longer leaning against each other in the bath.

“My pleasure.”  Jim worked on drying Khan with the towel, rubbing down all parts of his body with the soft material.  “Do you mind giving me a hand?” he asked, wanting to feel those hands on his skin, even through the towel.  “I confess that I just like having you touching me.”  He tipped Khan a wink, even as he straightened to get his shoulders.

"Hm." Khan smirked, reaching forward with the fresh towel to begin to dry Jim. Though instead of going through some sort of ritual about it as before, Khan instead treated Jim like a child or a wet dog. Starting at the top, Khan draped the entire towel over his head, blinding him as he warmly rubbed the towel over his hair, then down to his shoulders, hands causing a fair amount of friction as they attempted to keep Jim warm, now that they were out of the warm water.

“Hey!” Jim yelled and then laughed as he was mussed up getting dry.  But as soon as he was free he tossed a towel over Khan’s head and started to do the same, fully expecting to be stopped by the stronger man.  But he laughed as he made a mess of his hair, whipping the towel through it.

Khan just smiled, though reached up and pulled the towel from his own head so that he could see. "I enjoy hearing you laugh." He said calmly, now drying Jim off properly around the middle and across the hips.

“I could stand to hear you laugh a little more,” Jim said, eyes still bright and a grin lighting up his face.  He stood still now for Khan to dry him off, hands resting lightly on his lover’s pecs.  “You’re a handsome man even when you’re all serious, but smile or laugh, and you’ll be practically transcendent.”  

He wondered at how hard it must be for Khan to allow himself to relax even this much and knew he probably asked too much of the other man now.  Apologetically, he reached up to trace Khan’s strong face with a tender hand and said, “Not that I don’t find you amazing the way you are.  I just like to know my friends are happy.  My Noonien is happy.”

"I am very happy, Jim. Don't I tell you enough?" Khan said with a little smile as he leaned in, letting their noses brush. But giving big bright smiles or hardy laughs were not actions that came naturally to him. Still, he felt he was open in expressing his pleasure (or displeasure) in other ways. Wrapping the towel firmly around Jim's hips, Khan knotted it off so that it would remain in place. Reaching up, Khan combed his fingers through the mess of damp blond hair, brushing it back so that it all dried in the same direction.

“There,” Jim whispered and thumbed over that smile, before kissing it lightly.  “You do.  You show me and tell in many ways.  I guess I’m just too demanding.”  He bumped their foreheads together and smiled back at Khan, his own much wider, as was his wont.  The hands in his hair made his eyes shut and an involuntary sigh escape his lips, one of complete contentment.  He stroked over the soft skin under his fingers, not even noticing how far and wide he explored.

"Let's get you to bed, Captain." Khan said, taking care to keep his voice soft and mellow. The evening was winding down and he wanted to ensure that Jim got a good night sleep. Drawing him into his arms, Khan hooked his chin over Jim's shoulder to hug him for a moment, looking to give one more point of reassurance, before he pulled back.

Jim made a disappointed grunt when Khan stopped hugging him, but then said, “Let’s get both of us to bed.  Even if you do require much less sleep than I.”  He patted Khan’s shoulder once and moved away from him to get dressed.  The action felt like putting a barrier between them somehow, one that was unwanted in the moment.  “Do you need anything before we go back to my quarters?”

"Nothing, thank you." Khan answered as he once more dressed himself in the bed sheet, letting it lay loose against his warm skin. Brushing his fingers through his own hair so that he was somewhat presentable, if they were in fact seen at this hour, Khan fussed a little until Jim was ready to go.

JIm grinned at Khan, watching him make himself presentable and orderly for the world at large.  “Are you all pretty again?” he asked, walking over to bump companionably against him.  “Ready to face my ship and crew?”  He pressed their mouths together for a short kiss.  “I know I’m ready to show you off again.  You and that sheet.  I just want to rip it off you again and pounce.”

"Show me off?" Khan raised a curious eyebrow at Jim. The way Jim said it, he understood he was meant to take it as a compliment, perhaps even as something playful and harmless, but it still had a strange, unsettling ring in his ears: that he was some sort of conquered prize, or a rare and exotic pet. It was this sort of notion, that Khan was tamed and on display that had set him on edge many previous times.

Still, at least now he had the sense to know that was not Kirk's intention. So he reached out his hand for Jim, wanting to remain visible in their union as they walked back to his private chambers. "Anyway- that seems counterproductive to finding rest. Why do you like it so much, anyway, Captain?"

“Jumping you or showing you off?” Jim asked and took his hand as they headed through the hallways.  “I would admit that both have their own appeals.  Being physically intimate with you is beyond just pure pleasure and means and feels that much better because of it.  And since I’m not used to feeling that way, I want it as often as I can.  It doesn't hurt that you’re gorgeous and can take my enthusiasm.  I’m a bit overactive for a normal human.”

“As for the other ... I’m proud that you want to be with me, and I want everyone to see that we’re in a relationship.  That makes me feel over the moon, to use an old phrase.  That’s what I mean by showing you off.”

"Are you?" Khan had considered Kirk's high energy level to be quite normal, at least by his own standards. But it made sense that being in a relationship with someone of his endurance, regardless of their activity, would be considered an asset to someone as high-energy as Jim Kirk. "Hm." Khan considered the answer with a nod, petting his thumb over Jim's fingers for the remainder of their walk.

“Hmm?” Jim mimicked in the form of a question.  “Do you feel the same way?  I mean ... you like others seeing that we’re together?”  He walked with Khan into his quarters and turned right to him, stepping up for a sweet kiss.  His lips lingered sweetly on his lover’s, telling him in a way other than words how much he valued his closeness.  “Do you want anything to sleep in?” he asked, as he stepped back, toward the bed.  “Or do you like the altogether?”

"I was uncertain at first, that it was a safe course of action ... but you laid those doubts quickly to rest. It is satisfying, to be public with our union. That you and I are worthy of one another." Khan cupped the side of his head, fingers lingering as he held his gaze. He smiled privately before kissing him. With a satisfied sigh, Khan answered. "Undergarments and a shirt would be ideal." He was not one to sleep in the nude, unless it was required of him. He was still old fashioned in his way, dignified and tightly put together, as primate and animalistic as Khan might be in other areas, he was particular about some things being just-so.

“Mind if I’m not dressed?” Jim asked, fetching Khan some clothes to sleep in.  “I don’t mind if you don’t want me hanging out all over the place.”  He flashed a quick grin over his shoulder at Khan and then carried the clothes back over to him.  He waited for Khan’s answer, eyes warm as they looked at him.

"I do not mind in the least." Khan said easily. "I suspected you were something of a home-nudist ... any excuse to be out of your clothes or out of uniform." Khan however dressed himself in a pair of pajama bottoms and a long sleeved shirt, preferring even the simplest of fabrics to cover him then exist without the protective layer.

Jim laughed and said, “A home-nudist, huh.  I’ll have to remember that one.”  He moved into the refresher to brush his teeth and wash his face.  He took off his clothing and strolled out as comfortable in his own skin as in his captain’s uniform.  Possibly even more comfortable.  “Are you saying, dear Noonien, that I’m a bit of a free-spirit?”

"I would say so, yes. So it is fascinating to me that you would align yourself with any form of ... structured establishment like Starfleet, when you behave quite to the contrary. You are a distinctive individual, Jim ... you ... as they say, you do not color inside the lines." Khan however said this with a friendly expression before he invited himself into the bed, arranging the pillows and blankets around himself as he waited for Jim to join him.

“I needed something to give my life purpose,” Jim said and climbed into bed next to his lover.  He scooted close to him and then waited for Khan to decide how he wanted to be aligned.  Normally, Jim would just snuggle right up, but as was his way with Khan, he allowed the augment to take the lead.  “But I have butted heads with a lot of different individuals in the organization.  If I hadn't managed to stop Nero with my unorthodox thinking, I’m not sure where my career would have gone.  Spock had me up on charges of cheating in front of the Academy because of my coloring outside the lines.”

Reaching an arm back, behind Jim's neck and under his shoulder, Khan drew him close, in a way, wanting to keep Jim under his wing. "Cheating?" Khan scoffed. "The universe is not as pure and static as perhaps Vulcan science would like ... cheating is a strange concept, attributed to not liking the way someone else was successful." Khan hummed softly, "I am impressed, Jim ... you managed a great deal in a very small amount of time, without losing sense of your ... free spirit."

Jim found a comfortable place against Khan’s side and nuzzled into his shoulder.  “You've heard the saying, ‘an ill wind that blows nobody any good?’” he asked his lover.  “Well, that’s what happened to me.  Nero’s attack killed a lot of good people, more than I can even wrap my mind around, but I became the captain of the Enterprise because of it.  And gained myself a family and crew.”  He sighed and kissed Khan’s cheek tenderly.  “And because of Marcus’ evil, I gained myself a Noonien.”

"Yes, you have a Noonien." Khan repeated back gently. He would have preferred to meet under better circumstances. And so once more, his mind wandered to their alternate selves, wondering how things might have been changed for the better if it had been Kirk and the Enterprise to find Khan and his crew asleep, deep in space, instead of Admiral Marcus. Once more however, Khan pushed it from his mind, unable to spend too much worry over his other selves and how they managed in the end.

Khan glanced to Jim as he kissed the top of his head. He was curious of Jim's night time habits, how he slept, how he would respond to having Khan in bed with him, holding him. In his unconscious state, would he eventually try to pull away from him? Or would he truly find rest in his arms? Khan was curious to know his lover in this way, to discover the things that were unconsciously true, the things that, while awake, were often masked over.

Jim yawned, tucking his head to the side to make sure he was not rude about it, and then smiled sleepily at Khan.  “I know you probably don’t need as much sleep as I do, so if you get bored, don’t feel like you just have to lie there.”  He brushed his fingers lightly over Khan’s mouth and then said, “And in case I’m not clear, you have a Jim.”  

Eyes shutting, he rested his head on the pillow near Khan’s and felt his entire body relax.  He’d never had trouble sleeping with his conquests, just with some of the morning-afters.  Still, with Khan he felt an extra sense of comfort and thought he would sleep extra well.

Closing his eyes, Khan just breathed in and out slowly, letting his body and mind relax, pushing away all other thoughts. Just Jim. Just Jim in his arms. And instead of thinking about the cold vast space outside the hull of the Enterprise, Khan thought about his new home planet, and having Jim share his bed with him there, at least once. **  
**


	14. Rescue

Standing before an oval table, hands folded behind his back, Commander Spock drew himself up, considering his words before addressing the senior staff. "We remain at red alert." He began, indicating that their current situation was not being treated lightly, but as an act of war. "I have updated our subspace report to Starfleet, informing them of our status. As of 0300, Captain Kirk has been officially declared a hostage of the planet Diogenes III, facilitated by it's native inhabitants."

Uhura took her cue and said, “During our meeting today with the planet’s council, there was an unfortunate misinterpretation of one of our proposals, due to some of the kinks in the translator and the highly religious nature of the planet’s inhabitants.  It was of a severe nature, and the council refused to overlook the slight, despite all of our attempts to remedy the situation.  Captain Kirk bargained that he alone remain on the planet to face the judgement of the council, while the rest of the away team was allowed to return to the Enterprise.”  She lowered her head, ponytail swinging by her cheek.  “Unfortunately, the punishment for the perceived blasmphemy is likely to be severe.  From our still limited understanding of their culture, it may even be a capital offense.”

As Uhura explained the diplomatic details of the situation, Spock turned his gaze upon the senior officers, that also now included Khan Noonien Singh. Spock noted that their expressions varied from worry and concern, to anger and frustration. "While we must attempt to continue on diplomatic channels, we should discuss plans for extraction, should the ruling prove fatal." Spock said, knowing that such an action would harm further relations with the new race, for not adhering to their custom or laws.

Dr. McCoy spoke up from his corner of the table, “I managed to slip a monitor on Captain Kirk to keep track of his vitals, and I already don’t like what I’m seeing.  But it will tell us if he’s in serious danger.”

“Can ve not just beam him out, Commander?” Chekov asked, eyes huge with worry for his captain and friend.  “I can use the medical device that Dr. McCoy put in him as a focal point, if necessary.”

"No." Spock said simply, "As it is, the medical readings remain our only connection the Captain." Pulling up a distorted image on the projector, he continued to explain. "The bio-field around this facility prevents such transmission. And while targeting the power source would be a safe and efficient option to lower the field, it would also be seen as an act of aggression." And Starfleet had very clear rules about starting wars.

“So will going down to retrieve the Captain,” Uhura said softly. “I don’t know how we’re going to get around that.”

Chekov squeaked, “Ve cannot leave the captain there!”

McCoy growled an affirmative.  “We don’t have to make friends with everyone.  What will it take, Mr. Spock, to get Jim out from under the field that prevents beaming him back?”

Commander Spock paced slowly at the front of the room, having sensed that this line of questioning would have to be addressed. It was a risk, and not because of how Starfleet might react after the fact, but because of who else it involved. Spock turned his eyes upon Khan, who had been characteristically silent for the meeting. "It would take an extraction team that could maneuver swiftly, without alerting of their presence or intention, to find the Captain blindly, remove him from his captivity and get him outside the bio-field so that he might be beamed back aboard the Enterprise. And if it is made to look like he escaped on his own, all the better. But I cannot stress enough the sensitivity of such a plan ... as we do not need to give them any more hostages to hold over us. Nor put the Captain at risk of immediate harm or execution for making such an attempt."

“And if said person is not technically a member of Starfleet, so much the better?” Uhura asked softly, eyes also going to Khan.

“With some support from the rest of us,” Scotty said indignantly.  “We’re not just going to sit around and do nothing.”

Spock gave a nod to Uhura, expressing that was precisely the case. "We are all eager to have the Captain safely returned to the Enterprise once more, Mr. Scott." Spock said calmly, aware that he was bruising a few egos, but Khan was the most logical choice among them, so he did not feel the need to be gentle. "And as I see it, you- Mr. Singh represent our best chance at retrieving the Captain." Spock said, keeping his eyes on the augment now, "If my colleagues agree with this course of action, I would like you to consider-"

"Yes." Khan finally spoke, his tone low and firm. He rarely spoke up during meetings, keeping his opinions to himself, and never spoke to how he would handle things, unless specifically asked. It was clear however that extraction had been on his mind from the beginning as well, and that he had just been waiting for it to be proposed, before agreeing.

Uhura blinked a little at the way he interrupted Spock, even though she knew it was from affection for their captain.  Everyone could see it between them.  Hell, the captain had made sure everyone knew about the relationship, and it had blossomed even more since that time.  Still-  “You already have a plan of extraction, don’t you?” she asked, voice a little hard.

"Yes." Khan answered, remaining calm as he shifted forward in his chair, hands moving to the top of the table, lightly folded. "I can be prepared in twenty minutes." Though did not commit himself to a timeline of how long it would take him to get Kirk out, there were too many variables to calculate that made offering a projected timeline very difficult. He would not be made a liar by promising a specific time frame. "If- as you say, Commander Spock, that your colleagues are in agreement." Though Khan would likely find a way off the ship and save Kirk himself, risking all future freedoms aboard the Enterprise in the event that he was forbidden.

“You are our best hope right now,” Uhura said.  “I think we should continue our discussions both in good faith and as a distraction.”

“Is there nothing the rest of us can do?” Scott asked, clearly perturbed.  “I want to be able to lend some support to this mission.”

“Yes, Mr. Spock,” Chekov said.  “I am all for sending Mr. Singh, if he can save the captain, but if there is something we can do to help, I vish to do so.

Commander Spock however did not get a chance to answer as to how the others would prove themselves an asset. Instead, Khan was the one that continued to speak, assigning tasks, even though they were not his to command. "Ensign Chekov, you will need to maintain orbit over the landmass of the northern hemisphere, it will ensure clear communication between myself and the Enterprise, and ease of recovery once I am able to rescue the Captain."

"Lieutenant Uhura, I expect you will continue to keep channels of communication open with the inhabitants below- in good faith, as you said, but also to gather information, should I need to be warned of new developments. Additionally, once I am within the bio-field, communications may prove unreliable, so you must listen for me and the Captain, as soon as we reemerge within transporter range."

"Lieutenant Commander Scott, it is very likely that once we are free of the bio-field, we will not have time to stop and stand still to be beamed. It is also probable that the Captain will have sustained injuries from his imprisonment, in which case I will be carrying him ... you will need to be able to isolate and distinguish between our signatures, while in motion ... an algorithm I trust you will have solved by the time it is needed."

"Doctor McCoy ... I promise to deliver the Captain to you personally, so be at ease." He said, knowing that McCoy would be prepared to receive his most troublesome patient, no matter his state.

The ease of Khan’s speech spoke well of why he had been a leader of his people.  All eyes turned to him and despite their past interactions, Khan’s natural abilities and his obvious affection for the captain soothed a lot of nerves.  Everyone had something they could contribute, and that meant a lot, too.

“I’ll do what I can to break through the communication barrier,” Uhura said with a nod to the augment, even as Scotty said something similar about transporters.

“I assume you have battlefield medical training at the least,” McCoy said, looking firmly at Khan.

"Yes, Doctor." Khan confirmed, though like everything about the augment, he had more then just bare minimum training. "I have assisted trauma surgeons in the field and know well the limits of the human body. If the Captain is not in a suitable condition to be moved, I will find another way." No matter what it took.

“Good,” McCoy said.  “I’m going to issue you a standard field medical kit for emergency situations, packed specially for the captain.  He’s got so many allergies that we have to make sure everything is captain safe before we send it with him.”  His eyes went to Uhura.  “If you can find a way to punch through our communications, I’d feel a whole lot better.”

“As would I,” Uhura assured him, face somewhat softer than normal.  She and Kirk still didn’t have the easiest relationship, but she did care for him and valued his leadership.

McCoy nodded once at her and turned back to Khan.  “I’ll keep communications open on my end, too.  If you have any questions about his health, you better ask me, if the line’s useable.  You understand me?”

Accepting orders from anyone, other then Kirk was not a comfortable feeling for Khan. Shifting back in his seat, Khan kept the Doctor's gaze before he nodded once, "I understand, Doctor." He said, tone tempered evenly.

Spock noted the augment's annoyance, but also the fact that he seemed to be saving his fight for his mission. "Very well. Since we are all in agreement. Mr. Singh, report to the transporter bay in twenty minutes. That is all."

Everyone except McCoy stood and filed out.  The doctor kept his eyes on the augment, not moving from his seat.  “I’ll just get you that medical kit when you get to the transporter room.”  He still didn’t move and added, “Is there something you’d like to say to me, Mr. Singh?”

"No, Doctor. Do you wish to say something to me?" Khan asked as he stood, feeling he did not have much time to waste on being lectured.

McCoy’s eyes softened slightly, and he said, “Please bring Jim back safe, Khan.  You’re not the only one who cares for him.”  He stood and headed for the door, throwing back over his shoulder, “And don’t be so damned touchy.  I’ll have the kit waiting for you in the transporter room.”

Remaining in the empty room for a minute longer, Khan gathered his thoughts, visualizing the hundred different problems he might encounter for his extraction plan, and solving them each in his head before they ever happened. After two silent minutes passed, Khan finally left, reporting to the security chief. But this time, it was not because he was being returned to his cell, but to suit up in tactical gear. Dressed in boots and a black pressure suit designed to absorb his heat signature, Khan reported to the transporter room as promised.

Scotty waited for him with the promised medical kit and said, “Here is the med kit from Dr. McCoy.  Do you need to run over the contents?”  He flipped it open and went through them as the doctor had described for him without letting Khan answer.  “Here is a tricorder with the map of the compound and Commander Spock’s analysis of the most likely places they’re holding the captain, though I’m sure you have ideas of your own.  I’ll do my best to monitor you from here and keep a lock on you, but I cannae guarantee success at this point. Anything you need from me?”

Khan nodded, taking the bag and drawing it securely over his shoulders so that he had his arms and hands free. "Keep awake and keep vigilant." Khan said as he stepped up onto one of the transporter pads. "Thank you, Mr. Scott. And have those algorithms ready, as I cannot guarantee the manner of our escape."

Scott nodded and said, “Energize,” even as the familiar hum of transport carried Khan away to the ground below and hopefully to the captain.

The planet below was a cold and damp place, a massive swampland with few mountain ranges spread out across the main continents. The air was thick with moisture, and Khan had been beamed to a small science outpost, just outside the main city, just outside the bio-field. It was as close to the capitol as the Enterprise could get him, but not close enough. Khan searched the horizon, eyes picking up on the steady activity of civilians headed towards the city for the evening.

Khan however would have to find his own way and keep off the main roads. After a swift search of assets around the outpost, Khan found a small single-person boat and oar meant to navigate the shallow waters around the outpost in order to service local generators. Slipping down inside the small craft, Khan kept his visibility minimal as he began to paddle through the muddy waters and dense grasses, right towards the capital wall. It was direct and not a way any locals would go, since Khan was in no way headed towards an entrance, but instead a massive wall made of stone and processed metals.

The sun had set by the time Khan had navigated the swamp and reached the near-polished barrier. It looked like a ten story climb and would not be easy to navigate. But that did not stop Khan from beginning his climb, keeping his body pressed close to the wall, Khan pulled himself up steadily, scaling the outside of the defensive structure, making due with the smallest of hand holds and not risking taking a break, but kept moving until he reached the top.

Jim knew his crew was coming for him.  He hung on to that belief during the methodical, ritualized torture that comprised the punishment for blasphemy on Diogenes III.  He had been allowed to speak before the council one last time and tried once more to explain and apologize for the inadvertent offense, but to no avail.  He was handed over to their version of the Spanish Inquisition (as Jim labeled them in his head) and hauled off.  

They stripped Jim out of his uniform and chained him to a post in the middle of the wall, before telling him that he had about an Earth hour to consider his crimes.  At the end of that time, his mind and soul (or their equivalent thereof) should be ready to receive the proper penance for his sins.  

Jim rather doubted that.

The hour went by far too soon, and when the inquisitors returned, brandishing a tool kit that would have made the Maquis de Sade squirm, Jim kept his breakfast down by force of will.  Didn't matter, as he vomited it up a few hours later when they removed his toenails.  Out of all the stuff that had happened by then, he didn't know why that triggered the barfing, but it was inevitable one way or another.

For the process of the day, Jim kept his mind focused solely on the fact that the Enterprise would not leave him to rot.  He had an unenviable tolerance for pain, born from experience, but even he had to admit this group was talented and creative in their tortures.

Every hour or so, they allowed him a brief respite, including some water to soothe his sore throat (Jim refused to beg or apologize, but screaming was nothing to be ashamed of) and a brief cleaning of his wounds.  But the torment picked up with every hour. 

Khan had maneuvered across building roofs, quietly and quickly, remaining a dark shadow among stone and metal and slate. The design of the capital resembled that of a castle, with those consider least important out along the edges, while the more important lived or worked more towards the center. It was therefore easy to conclude that any prisoners would be held near the strongest military force, which would be closest to the center of the capital as possible.

However, as Khan worked his way to the center of this society, he began to hear the evening news called out in the streets, or rather, through an elaborate speaker system that shouted information into nearly every intersection below. The news spoke of contact with an alien race, offensive first contact, and the government conquest of having captured Jim Kirk.

Khan followed the source until it finally brought him inside the military headquarters, adjacent to the main capitol building. Forced inside, Khan kept his breathing and movements very controlled, letting patrols pass him, never once leaving sign of his presence. Until he heard screams. The sort of screams that chilled his blood and felt like sharp teeth sinking into bone, the sound had put such a lock on his brain, that everything that came after was completely automatic.

A patrol of six officers on their way to dinner, killed with such flawless precision, their bodies fell within inches of one another. Another three put down in the following hallway. And then another body by the door, vertebrae in his neck crushed as Khan opened the door to the cell. The door swung open and the body hit the floor with ease. There was a startled silence between both sides and Khan looked to Jim's captors. A sharp metallic taste filled his mouth and nose, human blood. And the only way to be rid of it, was to have more enemy blood, then human, fill the room.

Khan went completely feral. Attacking the nearest man with such force, the kill was far too quick. The second got more of his attention, as Khan took him up by the throat and began to crush his jaw bone with his bare hands, growling at the suffering, slowly dying soldier with complete bloodlust.

Suddenly, everything stopped.  Jim’s captors, so very focused on their work before, ceased the shocking blows of their version of a cat-o-nines across his very sensitive (and now very damaged) privates and headed for the door.  Jim scraped together enough brain cells to hear the noises of a battle going on nearby.  A one-sided battle.

That meant one thing …

“Khan,” he gasped through a scorched throat.  “Noonien.”  

Forcing his injured legs to take his weight and push him erect, Jim managed in a louder tone.  “Please.”  He needed his lover there now, getting him out of there as fast as possible. “Noonien, please,” he repeated, hoping the augment would hear and give over any need for vengeance to help instead.

As Khan finished his kill, it allowed one of Kirk's captors to make an escape, sounding an alarm further down the hall. But Khan had no time for that now as his eyes finally focused on Jim and in an instant, Khan cut him down from his bindings. "I have you, Captain." Khan said, his tone so tense it was clear that putting together human, English words was quite a strain on him. But his arms wrapped around Jim, supporting his weight as he eased him onto the floor, giving his body a rest from being stretched out and beaten as it had been. Carefully touching the side of his face, Khan made the young captain look at him, to meet his eyes, to know that he was safe now, that this entire civilization would burn, if it meant getting Jim out of there.

“Yes, you do,” Jim murmured and managed to answer Khan’s touch by stroking the augment’s cheek gently with a hand that shook only a little.  “I never had any doubt.”  He took a deep, slightly rattling breath.  “Don’t suppose Bones gave you any painkillers for me?”  He glanced at the medkit Khan carried, moving his head as little as possible.

Even without medication, all of Jim’s agonies eased with the arrival of his lover.  He read the promise in his lover’s eyes, that nothing would get between Khan and Jim’s safety.  That death awaited anyone who so much as looked the wrong way at Jim from here on out.    

"Yes." Khan confirmed, pulling the emergency kit off his back and opening it up quickly. First, he unfolded a light emergency blanket which he covered over Jim's torso and hips, helping him keep his body heat, but also to serve as a form of shielding so that he would no longer feel so exposed. A swift hypo-spray to the shoulder was the last sharp pain Jim would have to feel before the drugs kicked in. Khan kept his hands on Jim, eyes down as he examined his body, tallying up his visible injuries. ".... and another." He said, taking a pill out from a dispensing tube, "Put this one under your tongue, so it will dissolve slowly."

“Look that bad, huh?” Jim asked, trying to make a bit of light of it.  He grimaced a little at the bitter taste of the pill, but that was the least of things to worry him at the moment.  The drugs kicked in quickly, and the pain faded with it, but he knew better than to underestimate the severity of his injuries, now that he couldn't really feel them.  “Honest answer, Khan ... how bad am I?”

He was pretty sure there was some internal bleeding.  Knew damn well there were multiple broken bones.  Figured his body was a mass of bruises.  And his testicles … well, that didn't bear thinking about.

The honest answer, was that Khan could not bring himself to say. Khan had been on many battlefields, watched those he cared for die or suffer a brutal maiming, he had killed many people, watched the life leave their bodies, their eyes turn empty and absent. But he could not bring himself to talk about the damage he could see Jim had endured. "Bad." He said.

Fingers lightly pressed to Jim's shoulder, Khan watched the pulse in his neck throb, keeping track of the beat of his heart. "You will not be able to leave, the way I came." He said, addressing their escape plan, wanting to talk him through what was going to happen in the next few minutes. "I am going to close three of these wounds and bind your rib cage. Then we will leave another way."

“Let me know if I can help ... or at least not get in the way,” Jim said, reading the worry in Khan’s actions.  He touched his lover’s cheek again, using his least damaged arm and a good portion of his strength.  “I’ll be all right, Noonien.  Hard to believe, but I've had worse ... a lot worse.  I’m tough.  I can take it.”  He paused to take a few steadying breaths.  “I think your blood helped me, too.  Made the injuries less than they would have been.”  He hoped that eased some of Khan’s worry and fear.

He also worried about the darkness he glimpsed in Khan’s eyes, deep and angry at the people who hurt him.  But he’d deal with that if it came up again.  For the moment, he concentrated on feeling better and on being with his Noonien.  “Tonight, you can break me out of Sickbay and hold me while we sleep in my bed again.”

Pleased that Kirk was already thinking about life back on the Enterprise and not being stuck here, in this moment, Khan used this as an avenue for further distraction. "I promised Doctor McCoy that I would hand you over to him." He said, carefully turning Jim on his side so that he could clean one of the wounds he intended to close. "I doubt he will let you leave the medical bay. But I will remain there with you, Captain. I will not leave your side, unless you dismiss me." Khan had skilled hands, strong but sensitive to every layer of human anatomy. He cleaned the open gashes along Jim's back before he began to close them by hand, some with bandages and others with handheld tools that seared the skin closed.

Jim bit back a groan at being moved, even though Khan did it both tenderly and easily, his strength obvious.  “Yeah, you’ll have to sneak me out,” he said, before coughing a few times.  He could use some water, but hesitated to ask for any until Khan finished his current task.  Exhausted, he let his body just relax into Khan’s capable hands.

“Not going to dismiss you, Noonien,” he whispered.  “Don’t want to.”  There was nothing like serious injury combined with painkillers to make Jim’s tongue loosen up a bit.  And melt away any pride or shame.

"Lay still." Khan said, closing the wounds he had deemed the most severe. "I need to secure the room. Then I will bind your chest." He said and got up quickly, dragging the bodies out the door into the hallway. The alarm was still blaring, but it was only now that Khan could hear the response team. He stripped the men of their primitive weapons, then closed the door, blockading Jim and himself inside the room.

With time becoming more limited, Khan returned to Jim's side and helped him up just enough so that he could begin to bandage his chest, keeping a tight compress on his ribcage. "In four minutes I am going to go into the hall and make it clear for us. Do not move, Captain, not one inch, not without me."

“Noonien,” Jim said, both a little breathless and a little desperate, “please don’t kill anyone unless it’s necessary.”  He moved just enough to try and catch Khan’s eyes, his own wide and pleading, despite the situation.  “I’m asking you...despite what they did to me.”

"Captain." Khan growled more sharply then he meant to. "You should not protect them. They will not have my mercy." He said, wrapping Jim's feet in cloth to protect his exposed toes, constructing something of a sock for him in the remaining time he had given them before he stood. "I am not leaving you." He promised again. "I am clearing the way. Do not move, Captain."

“I don’t want them dead,” Jim protested, refusing to flinch from that dangerous noise.  “I don’t want their blood on your hands.”  He struggled to sit up, against Khan’s orders, determined to do what he could to prevent the augment from killing anyone else.  He knew Khan would never desert him, no matter what happened.  The augment would rather die that he believed with all his heart.  But he might not listen to him.    

It was difficult for Khan to understand, yes, the blood was on his hands, Kirk needn't concern himself with it. But there was no more time to argue the point. The soldiers that had been dispatched to deal with the alarm had followed the body count and were entering into the hallway as they spoke. "No promises." He said with a snarl, then turned for the door. He took a breath, then let himself out. With primitive, projectile weapons, there was a round of gunfire as Khan entered into the hallway, yelling and shouting and more gunfire.

Jim lay back and shut his eyes, glad just that Khan would try. And he was too exhausted to protest anymore. He didn't worry at all that Khan would be captured or injured. The augment was far stronger and faster than the native population, and his sheer intense will would carry him through any tight spots. All Jim had to do was wait.

Long, loud minutes passed. But the gunfire in the hallway at the very least meant that the enemy still had something to shoot at. But it also meant that the enemy was being left alive, at least some of them. Then after a strange and sudden silence, there was a massive blast and an entire wall dropped away, reduced to rubble. The lights sparked and went out suddenly and the sound of machinery whine as it depowered echoed through the hallways, then extended down to the other floors of the building. Then another large explosion and the entire city experienced a sudden blackout.

A minute later, Khan returned to the cell and slumped to Jim's side, holding his arm as he triggered his communicator. "Khan to the Enterprise, do you read me? Khan to the Enterprise, the bio-field is down. I have the Captain. Do you copy?"

The blast rattled through Jim's body and made him jerk up with a double cry of pain and startlement.  He sunk back, clutching his middle, as the power went off all around him.  And then Khan was there, looking more the worse for wear then Jim wanted to see.  He forgot his own hurts in worry for his lover, reaching out for his hand.  “Are you all right?” he asked in his scratchy voice.

“Enterprise here.”  And that was Scottys voice, clear and strong, and Jim wanted to yell with relief.

Khan captured Jim by the hand and gave his fingers a firm squeeze. They were going home. It was over. "Two, to beam up, Mr. Scott." Khan said firmly, keeping his hands on Jim, kneeling next to him. A moment later, the two were sitting on the floor of the transporter bay, far from the world below, far from explosions and gunfire and cruel men with sadistic hobbies. "Mr. Scott, the Captain needs to be transported directly to the medical bay." He said, expecting the man to make it happen, knowing that now that they were aboard the Enterprise, the crew could do more to help.

“No need, Mr. Singh,” Scotty assured him, as a medical team streamed in the door and right up to both men.  Dr. McCoy led the charge and had his kit out, orders flying to his team even before they reached their patients.   One of the nurses broke off to look after Khan, a gentle smile on her face. “I take it you can walk to the Sickbay, Mr. Singh,” Nurse Chapel said, giving him a full scan.  Her focus was solely on the augment, even as the bustle continued around Captain Kirk.  “Your arm will need a bit of work, but otherwise, your injuries are relatively minor.” 

Meanwhile, Jim had given himself over completely to Bones’ intense fussing and care.  He knew there was nobody better than his friend, so he shut his eyes and tried to think of pleasanter thoughts than the gentle hands probing at his wounds.  He was intensely grateful for the blanket over his mutilated privates.  

"Yes. I can walk." Khan confirmed, giving Doctor McCoy and his team room to work as he backed away a few feet. Though his own focus remained entirely on Kirk, watching as he was attended to properly. In his rush of adrenaline to get the Captain safe, Khan had completely ignored getting shot in the arm. The pain hadn't registered, and even if it had, the augment would not have given pause in battle. But as Nurse Chapel drew attention to his medical need, he looked to her with a steady expression. "I understand."

Chapel offered him a genuine smile and said, “Dr. McCoy will take good care of the captain.  He has plenty of experience.”  She waited for the emergency medical team to move the injured captain to Sickbay, before gesturing for Khan to follow.  “Is there anything about Captain Kirk’s condition you can tell me that might aid Dr. McCoy’s treatment?”

Khan gave the nurse more of his attention as she engaged him, asking about Kirk and any useful information he might have. "Underneath the bruising, there is visible breakage to his ribcage. I bound them on-site for temporary relief and ease of moving him. His toenails have been extracted, but the wounds are clean. And I was forced to treat and close three wounds on his back. They should be looked at and treated again." Khan followed the medical team, keeping Kirk just in his sights as he continued to relay what he could. "He appears to have injection points on his hip- from experience, these are usually adrenaline shots to keep captives awake and hyper-aware of what is happening to them. But you will need to scan his system to confirm."

Nurse Chapel made entries into her PADD that were simultaneously sent to Dr. McCoy’s, so he could read them as they moved Captain Kirk into surgery.  “It’s fortunate they did not inject him with anything that triggered a fatal allergic reaction,” she murmured, not really wanting to think about Khan’s previous experiences.  She rather suspected he was more often the injector than the injectee, and that did not bear consideration.  Captain Kirk had asked the crew to put some trust in Khan, and Nurse Chapel wanted to do her part in that.

By the time they got to Sickbay, Dr. McCoy had Jim in surgery, and they were alone except for two ensigns who had managed to burn themselves in Engineering.  “Please, hop up on a biobed, Mr. Singh.”

Khan nodded once, taking his place on the edge of the bed. He sat upright with his forearms and wrists turned out, knowing that Nurse Chapel would need access to treat him, which he gave freely. "The Captain expressed a wish to be in his own quarters tonight. It is my suggestion that Doctor McCoy put him out for as long as possible, so that he actually gets the rest and monitoring he needs." Khan said. Even though he was fiercely loyal to Jim, part of that meant going against his wishes in order for him to receive the best care.  

Nurse Chapel chuckled softly and said, “If I know the captain, he’ll find a way to wiggle out of Sickbay, even if he’s drugged enough to knock out a Romulan morgari, but I’ll warn Dr. McCoy that he tried to make escape plans in advance.”  She examined Khan’s wound and said, “Per Dr. McCoy’s recommendation, I am going to try a stronger painkiller on you, something usually reserved for non-humans with a resistance to the meds.  Do you give me permission to do so and then fully treat your wound?”

"Yes, Nurse Chapel. You have my consent." Khan said, keeping his eyes lightly on the young woman. He was not trying to be threatening, knowing she was put in a situation stressful enough without him staring her down. She was a very strong human, and Khan had come to be quite impressed by her. He was not an easy person to face alone, and she had done it on more than one occasion. "Let me know if I can assist you."

“Let me know if anything feels wrong,” Chapel said and carefully administered the hypospray with the dosage Dr. McCoy had calculated.  It was normally used on the Gorn, so she kept a wary eye on Khan’s readings to be sure nothing went south.  After a moment, she asked, “Is the arm numb now?”

Khan touched his fingers over the length of his bare arm, frowning slightly as his fingers ghosted over his own skin. It was a strange sensation, to numb his nerves, to not feel. "Yes. You may proceed." He said, letting his hand drop away, though kept his eyes down on her hand to watch them work.

Chapel nodded and carefully worked to extract the old-fashioned projectile, frowning at the depth it had achieved into his arm.  She dropped it into a dish, along with her electric forceps and then cleaned up the internal wound, including repairing a chip to the bone.  “These do serious damage for something so crude.  Or perhaps that’s why they do so much damage.”  She paused and scanned his arm, wonder in her expression.  “I can see your body healing itself ... marvelous.”

Once the bullet had been removed from his arm, Khan touched the skin again as if willing the sensation to return to him. The numbness was strange to him and he did not like it, he could not gauge his own strength in the ways he was accustomed to. "Thanks to you, Nurse Chapel, the muscle will not adapt and re-grow around that bullet. Thank you." He said, making his gratitude clear.  

“Just doing my job, Mr. Signh,” Chapel said with a formal nod in his direction.  “Before I let you go, do you have anything else to report about your own condition that I should know about?”  Machines were all well and good, but Nurse Chapel also believed in getting firsthand information.  You often learned things the scans didn't tell you.

In a way, Khan was comforted by this approach. For a long time, and so many times before, Khan had been treated as something purely scientific, a specimen to examine, not to interact with, not to speak to. It was a kindness to have Nurse Chapel ask him this question instead of keep her eyes down and focused on her instruments alone. "No, I will heal rapidly now. Thank you."

“So, now you have a choice to make,” Nurse Chapel said.  “Would you like to wait here for the results of Captain Kirk’s surgery or shall I call Commander Spock and inform him that you’re well enough to be debriefed?”

"You may inform Commander Spock of my status. But I intend to wait until the Captain is out of surgery." If there were truly anything important that needed to be said to him, Khan expected the Vulcan to be in contact with him anyway. But he would stay close by, if Jim asked for him, or if McCoy needed any further information from him. He would stay on guard, until they were well away from this planet.

Nurse Chapel laughed softly at the augment’s behavior, knowing a protective boyfriend when she saw one.  “I’ll see if Commander Spock will be willing to brief you here.  Possibly we can purloin Dr. McCoy’s office for your use.  Certainly wouldn't be the first time …”  She walked off to the comm unit and called up to the bridge, having a brief talk with the Vulcan first officer.  

In a moment, she returned and said, “Commander Spock will be down in a few moments to discuss your rescue of the captain.  If you’re going to wait here for the surgery, we’ll set you up somewhere more comfortable.”

"Thank you, Nurse Chapel." Khan said, letting his feet drop to the floor as he got off the bio bed. He paced a minute in front of the threshold and closed doors into the next room where McCoy and the other had taken Kirk. But even with his abilities, he could not overhear through the walls here, they were too well insulated. Withdrawn, Khan stood by for Commander Spock.

Spock entered a few moments later and paused to study Khan’s posture, as he waited for news of the captain.  As he felt the same way internally, the obvious worry the augment displayed strengthened the positive impression Spock had of Khan, in terms of his relations to the captain.  There was a definite warmth in Khan for Jim that he showed no one outside his crew.  Spock found it privately fascinating that Jim could illicit such positive responses from a man who had more than once tried to kill him.  But his captain was contrary in many ways.

“Mr. Singh,” Spock said in a low, even tone, “I would like to debrief you on the mission to retrieve Captain Kirk from the planet.”  He considered adding something along the lines of ‘if you feel up to it,’ but as Khan was Khan, and not one of the regular crew, he discarded the idea.  The augment would more likely take offense than think of it as a kindly meant gesture.

"Yes. Of course, Commander Spock." Khan responded to the direct request, rather than to unnecessary pleasantries. "Nurse Chapel implied that we might used Doctor McCoy's office, for privacy." For the time being, only Kirk's medical crew was privy to the severity of torture he had undergone. It was something he doubted the young Captain would want openly shared, but Khan trusted Spock with discretion, knowing it was important for him to remain informed.

Spock nodded and said, “That would be the most appropriate place in Sickbay for our discussion.”  He headed inside the office and took the chair behind McCoy’s desk, knowing the doctor would yet be some time.  He gestured to the chair across from him and said, “You will need to write a full report of the mission, Mr. Singh, but I would prefer to have an account of it prior to that time.  And to discuss which portions of it might be...screened.”  He looked at the augment with a hint of steel.  “I believe you understand me.”

Khan seated himself after Spock had done the same. Arms at his sides and eyes unwavering as they spoke. "Yes, I understand you." He sighed deeply, though seemed to relax somewhat that Spock was willing to leave out certain details. It was impressive, really, how far the Vulcan had come, being willing to bend the rules. Then again, the first officer was very loyal to Kirk as well and this was probably one of the few avenues he had control over, in order to protect him.

"When I was beamed down to the planet, I was on the outside of the capitol walls." Khan began, attempting to be as direct and unaffected as possible, even though seeing Kirk in his state had effected him greatly. "In order to remain unseen by the local population, I cut across the marshland by paddle boat and scaled the north-facing wall. Once inside the capitol boundaries, I remained above street level so that I would not come into conflict with civilians." Khan's fingers curled slightly against the sides of his legs as he spoke, keeping down the rage that was still just under the surface. "Entering into building that housed the greatest military presence, I explored several levels before I heard the Captain being tortured." Khan had not wanted to pause here, but his mind snapped back to that blood boiling moment. "In order to reach him quickly, I no longer took the time to avoid guards-" He said, implying that he had indeed shown restraint until then, "I killed several soldiers in the adjoining two hallways, before coming upon the Captain in his cell with his captors."

Spock had anticipated that Khan would be unable to completely suppress his aggressiveness in the face of the captain’s torture, but nonetheless regretted that the augment had killed again.  He had made the decision to approve the plan, however, and would accept the consequences.  “Please include a full report of the methods used to reach Captain Kirk,” he said.  “What state was the captain in when you located him within the compound?”

"The Captain was in the process of being whipped by his captors. His toenails had been removed. He had open sores on his back. And clear evidence of genital mutilation. I killed two of his three captors before I was able to free him. The third got away to sound the alarm. However, when I did free him, he did not have the strength to support his own body weight. Upon further inspection, it was clear that his ribs had been broken under the force of his beatings. And had evidence of injection points on his hip, which I suspect were adrenaline shots to keep him conscious for his torture."

"While the alarm sounded, I cleaned and closed the three most prominent open wounds on his back, bound his chest, administered two types of pain relief that Doctor McCoy had supplied, and wrapped his feet to protect them from infection. By the time I had accomplished this, the military presence had responded to the alarm and was gathering just down the hall. I informed the Captain that I was leaving him for a moment to clear the hall, so that we might escape, however it was at that time he asked that I not kill anyone else. This made things more difficult. We would not be able to leave that level without neutralizing the threats there. So I adapted. This time as I engaged the enemy, I caused injuring and maiming instead of death. Forcing them to use their weapons upon me, I was shot in the arm in the process of apprehending one of their guns. I used it to cut out the power to that level. Then later, to cause a larger explosion, breaking down the bio-field barrier so that the Captain could be beamed out directly."

The captain’s influence on Khan was stronger than Spock imagined, and he marveled that the other man had admitted it to him.  However, his expression remained neutral as ever.  Inwardly, however, he cringed at the information on the captain’s injuries.  He had known they would be and were severe, but to hear them described in such detail...he pushed back his own anger.  “Do you believe that any attempt was made to interrogate the captain for information?  Or were the actions purely punitive, a response to the perceived blasphemy against their religious icons?”

"The Captain made no mention of this sort of interrogation. However you will want to confirm this with him yourself." Khan had no desire to speculate and knew that the Vulcan would want only the facts as he understood them anyway. He paused, taking the time to decide something. "Are you required to discipline me for leaving a body count?" He asked, in a way both acknowledging and agreeing to submit to Starfleet rules on the issue.

“That will be up to the captain’s discretion,” Spock said.  “However, given the situation that you were presented with, some violence would be only logical, however regrettable.  All peaceful solutions had been rejected, and the Enterprise could not and would not leave her captain.  You were selected, in part, for your combat skills.”  He made a few notes on his PADD.  “Do you believe you acted in the appropriate manner, befitting a member of this crew?”

Eyes wide and brilliantly blue, Khan parted his lips as if to speak, but found that the question was a bit of a shocking surprise, which silenced him. The way Spock expressed himself seemed to imply that he was holding Khan to Starfleet standards, not because he was required to, but because he was somehow seeing Khan as one of them. A member of the crew. It was a level of acceptance Khan had not heard the other officers express before, and had expected it the least from Commander Spock. "Though it may not entirely adhere to the Articles of Federation, or the Prime Directive, I did my job." He said at last, "And showed restraint, when asked to." Khan licked his lips, then asked, "What do you think, Commander Spock?" He was curious of how the Vulcan saw his role in all of this, and clearly respected his viewpoint enough to ask for an honest answer.

Spock arched an eyebrow and said, “Since I do not know the particulars of the event as you and Captain Kirk do, it would be illogical for me to judge.”  His face loosened a little around the edges.  “In similar situations, however, I have found my own logic somewhat impaired.  As I believe you may well remember.”

Yes, that was good enough. In fact, Khan was quite pleased that Spock was not judging him too harshly, it was a strange, unsettling sort of relief. He cared about what Jim's first officer thought. Khan nodded, then shifted the conversation, "Have you moved the ship out of orbit?" He asked, still feeling on edge even though Kirk was safely aboard the Enterprise.

“We are safely at warp away from the planet,” Spock confirmed, “and are monitoring all subspace communications to track any transmissions from the planet that may bode ill for the Enterprise.  At this time, the only communications have been angry recriminations to the Enterprise for the forcible removal of the prisoner.  And we shall make a record of them all, along with the away missions to the planet for Starfleet’s judgement...in five years.”  If Vulcans smiled, Spock might have flashed one at that point.

"Hm." Khan hummed and smirked slightly. Yes, Khan was warming up to the Vulcan. "That has put me at ease, Commander Spock." With a deep breath, Khan only now began to let go of some of the tension he was still holding. "Do you require any further information from me?" he asked, as his thoughts turned back towards Jim and his progress in surgery.

“I will require a full accounting of your mission, in writing,” Spock said, “and anticipate a more complete debriefing, with the captain, once he returns to duty.  Will you be remaining here to wait for the captain’s surgery to be completed?”  As a Vulcan, Spock knew that was illogical.  As Jim’s friend, he wanted to wait next to Khan, staring at the surgery door and willing Dr. McCoy to emerge with good news.   

"Yes, I understand." Khan said, confirming that he would write the report Spock was asking for and speak again, when asked. "And you are correct, I intend to wait for the Captain to come out of surgery. Nurse Chapel has allowed it." He added, wanting to show that he had not been asked to leave, but that he was welcome here. However, after he said this, Khan then attempted a small, friendly gesture towards the Vulcan. "Are you required on the bridge, Commander Spock? If it is non-essential at this time, I am certain that the Captain will wish to see you, and speak with you, upon coming out of surgery." Khan knew that Spock had great loyalty towards Kirk, perhaps even love, though it was not expressed openly or in traditional ways. But Khan acknowledged it nevertheless and invited the Vulcan to stay.

“I must attend to my duties on the Bridge,” Spock said.  “Until we are out of communication range with the planet, we will continue to monitor their frequencies and ensure that there will be no pursuit.  Dr. McCoy will inform me when the captain is out of surgery.”  He conceded to himself that even though it was unlikely Jim would be awake when he came out, Spock would come down in person to see him. Another illogical action that he had decided to accept about himself.  He looked back to Khan.  “The next potential location for your new colony is not far.  As you wait for the captain, reading the information and deciding on sites for exploration and examination would be a useful pastime.”

"Yes, perhaps." Khan answered. Though looking at sites and researching the planet seemed a little too light for his heart right now. For the time being, he would likely make himself useful in the medical bay, even if that just meant running self-sterilization on on the empty bio-beds. And if the surgery lasted for longer then there were tasks to accomplish, he would likely commandeer a computer and begin to write out his report, as Spock asked.

“Captain Kirk has survived worse,” Spock said, trying to convince himself as much as Khan, and rose from behind Dr. McCoy’s desk.  “I will transmit the information to your personal database, so you may retrieve it from any terminal, when you are ready.”  He paused and almost frowned.  “Jim would not want us to worry.”

"Yes." Khan agreed quietly, Kirk had survived worse. A cold chill spread though his back and Khan stood up, that much more rigid. Khan had forced Kirk to survive worse. Being a holocaust survivor, meant Kirk had survived worse. But it did not mean it sat well with Khan any better. It caught his attention however, to hear Spock speak of his captain by his first name. Though Kirk encouraged that sort of thing with his good friends, it sounded exotic and rare from the Vulcan. "Sometimes- it is a natural process that cannot be helped." Khan answered. Both men were very controlled with their emotions and what they let other people see in them, but their worry for Kirk, for the recovery of his physical and emotional state, was something the two men clearly shared.

“Indeed,” Spock said with a grave nod, “and what logically should be a reassurance does not necessarily reassure.”  He looked into Khan’s eyes, his own grave and assessing.  “I have never hidden that I harbored grave doubts when the captain argued your case for rehabilitation.  And even deeper misgivings when he began his association with you.  However, I cannot logically deny the regard I see shared between you, nor that you have acted in a manner becoming a citizen of the Federation since that time.  But I cannot forget the things that were done before, nor do I seem as inclined to forgive them as the captain.  Perhaps that is a failing, but it is only fair to tell you that I do not intend to be lax in my vigilance regarding yourself.”

Khan listened to Spock with interest, feeling that his sight of things was perhaps the best representation of how the crew of the Enterprise regarded him and his relationship with Kirk. It was wary. And rightfully so. Khan inclined his head slightly, accepting the fact that Spock would remain wisely suspicious or careful of him. But since the dialogue had been opened, Khan made a small correction. "The Captain has not forgiven me, Commander- His personal loss and the loss Starfleet has experienced at my hands is not something to ever be forgiven. But there is peace between us. Starfleet is no longer my enemy. And it is Captain Kirk who is responsible for helping me see that."

“He is surprisingly disarming and effective in his arguments,” Spock said, “even sometimes when you do not realize he is making them.  Perhaps, Mr. Singh, we are both fortunate in having met him and learned more of ourselves.”  He inclined his head in the graceful dismissal he often employed and turned to stroll out of the office and into the main Sickbay.

Nurse Chapel waited for them both there.  “Commander Spock.  Mr. Singh.”  She addressed them both with a quiet, but not foreboding air.  “Dr. McCoy estimates that he will be in surgery for at least another two hours.  He recommends Mr. Singh find some useful occupation for his time and mind until then.“  She made quotes around the words.  “The captain is stable, but the repair of some of his more intimate wounds will require some time.”

Jaw clenched closed, a nerve in his lip twitched angrily, but Khan refrained from making any sort of outburst. He seethed quietly. Not because Doctor McCoy was taking so long with Kirk, but because it was medically necessary, even with modern science, to take such time and care to heal Kirk. It was a good thing the Enterprise was well away from Kirk's torturous captors. For their safety. A small growl escaped before Khan answered, "Yes. I understand. I will occupy my time."

Nurse Chapel faced the angry augment without fear (though it would have been different if his anger were directed at her) and asked, “Would you like to help me out for awhile?  I’m sure the tasks wouldn't be much of a stretch for you, but they would be mighty useful, since most of the shift is occupied right now.”

Spock was pleased by this suggestion from the nurse and made a note to give her favorable mention in his daily report.  She was calm and competent in a difficult situation.

Khan met her eyes and the bravery he had come to see and respect in her. "Yes, Nurse Chapel." He said a little more gently, careful to take the bite out of his tone. "I am pleased to assist you in any manner you require." Even if it did come easy to him, it hardly mattered. If it was work that needed to be done, Khan would do it.

“Thank you, Nurse Chapel, Mr. Singh,” Spock said formally.  “I must return to the bridge.”  He walked smoothly away, an ocean of calm.

“We were supposed to start the first inventory of medical supplies this week, but with one thing and another, we haven't even started,” she said.  “It’s hardly glamorous work, but it’s necessary.  Now that we’re out here alone, we’ll have to find new suppliers and improvise when things get low.  Therefore, we need advance warning if anything starts to look like it'll need restocking in anything like the near future.  And get a feeling for what we use fastest.  We have a general sense of these things, but every ship and crew is different, and inevitably, something is used at a much faster rate than anticipated.”

"Understood." Khan picked up a PADD and logged in so that he could make notes or observations about the supplies on hand. "Where would you like me to begin?" He asked, already gravitating to one area cabinet, assuming that Nurse Chapel would assign him to one side of the room, and herself to the other so that they could meet in the middle once the work was done.

Nurse Chapel smiled, nodded and began explaining the tedious task, glad for a chance for both of them to do something productive while they waited news of their captain.

 

*            *            *

 

Jim hated waking up on a biobed in Sickbay, since it usually meant he’d screwed up again somehow.  Or at least been screwed up again, as in this case.  His eyes took a few long moments to slowly blink themselves open, nearly glued shut from his long sleep and continued weariness.  He vaguely remembered a brief period of non-slumber where he was visited by seemingly all of his crew, watched over by a scowling Bones.  He wondered how long ago that might have been and considered playing possum to prevent his grumpy friend from barging in and badgering him for getting hurt yet again.

And then he remembered the horrible pain in his genitals and trembled a little from head to toe.  He was such a sexual creature and the thought of permanent damage…

But he was not a man who turned away from potentially unpleasant situations or truths, so he slowly shifted in bed and reached for the sheets covering his body.  The movement made him groan a little in pain, though he muffled it to try not to bring Bones running.

"What can I get you, Jim?" Asked a voice just to one side of Jim's bed. The tone was a familiar low rumble, as was the face that came into view. Khan had been at Jim's bedside from the moment McCoy had allowed visitors, and had not left, while the others eventually returned to their duties. Khan looked somber, skin a little grey and slightly tired looking under his eyes. "Thirsty?"

Jim turned his head slowly and then smiled a little to find Khan hovering over him.  “Noonien,” he whispered, dry throat not really capable of more.  He was surprised, as he always was, no matter how many times this happened, by how thirsty he was.  “Please.  Am I allowed water or ice chips this time?”  The joke was weak, but there was a spark in Jim’s eyes, for his lover and in general.  A good sign.  

"Both are available to you. Which do you prefer?" Khan wanted to be reassuring, to smile, to offer something of comfort, but he found it difficult to manage. Khan placed his hand on the edge of the biobed, though he was careful not to touch unless Jim invited the contact. "You have been asleep for some time."

“Ice,” Jim decided and opened his mouth like a baby bird for Khan to scoop a few chips into.  His right hand reached out for the digits in reach, slow and careful, before lightly brushing them.  He waited for the liquid before speaking again, since the effort hurt his dry throat.  And he wanted to minimize any further pains.

Khan let Jim cover his hand, only reaching up with his thumb to stroke the side of his fingers in return. With his free hand Khan reached for a bowl of ice chips which had been sitting out. The bowl itself was one of simple modern marvels that Khan had wished existed in his own time, as it kept the ice within chilled just cool enough that it didn't melt, even though it was exposed to the open air. A simple device that he would have enjoyed during long campaigns in the desert.

With two fingers and a thumb, Khan pressed the ice chips to Jim's lips, letting him consume them at his own rate of comfort. And as Jim ate them and sucked them and let them melt against his tongue, Khan would soon offer him another, knowing it was not an easy thirst to quench. "Better?"

“Yes, thank you,” Jim said and cleared his throat a little to test if that was really true.  “You look tired.  How long have you been there, waiting for me to wake up?”  He studied Khan’s face, noting the slight signs that his augmented lover wore of fatigue.  That he showed them at all worried Jim because it took a lot to make Khan so tired.  “I’m going to be fine,” he assured him, wanting to see some relief on that countenance.

"It has been five days and twenty-two hours since you were last conscious." And in that time, Khan could not bring himself to eat or sleep. Nor had he left Jim's side for more than a few hours, and when he did it was because Nurse Chapel or another member of the medical staff asked for his assistance. Even with these small distractions, Khan had felt completely useless, unable to help his lover through recovery. Although now that he was awake, he could at least be attentive to his needs, so he quietly offered another ice chip.

Jim took the ice chip, letting it melt down his throat, while he considered that disconcerting news.  When he could speak again, he said, “So, I guess Bones wanted to prevent me from sneaking out of here or scratching at my healing surgery, huh?”  He offered Noonien another small smile, trying to ease the pinched look on his face.  “Have you been here the whole time?”

"Yes. Your escape plans were foiled." Khan lightly dragged his fingers across the side of Jim's face, brushing back a few soft hair from around the groove of his ear. His fingers were cold and slightly damp from holding the ice chips, but gentle and meant to be soothing. "I may have told on you." Khan added, this time with a somewhat guilty smile. "But it has been good to see you get the attention you need."

Jim hummed under his breath at the gentle touch and turned his face into Khan’s fingers.  “And here I counted on you,” he said, but his voice was teasing, “and you ratted me out.”  He smiled softly and said, “And you have been here the whole time.  I know you, Noonien.”  He opened his mouth for another ice chip, lips quirked up nonetheless.

"Yes, I tattled." Khan said, offering Jim another ice chip. "I hope you can forgive me." He said, hoping that Jim truly did see that it had been done out of care and concern for him and not as a sign of disrespect. After another ice chip he added, "Yes, you do know me, Captain. I have been here, with you." He confirmed. "My heart has kept my mind from thinking about anything else."

Jim made a soft noise and entwined their hands where their fingers touched, hold not strong, but there.  “I’m all right, Noonien.  You came for me.  And Bones’ll make me all well again.”  He glanced down at his covered groin area and then back at Khan.  “Am I allowed to break the rules now and go to my room...with you?”

"Hm." Khan glanced to the side, knowing well McCoy's stance. Which for the most part, he entirely supported. Still. "If you somehow manage to wander away from your biobed, and return to your chambers, you can be certain that I would follow you there. You will not be left alone or  unattended." Khan said, reaching across to turn off a few switches so that alarms would not sound, indicating that Kirk was leaving his bed.

Jim smiled faintly and said, “And by walk, you mean you carry me to my quarters,” knowing full well he’d never have the strength to do so alone.  He lifted his arms to his lover and waited to see if he would oblige him.  And tilted his head up to ask for a kiss, as well.

"Yes, Captain. If you are not too proud." Khan said, turning off and moving the last of the medical sensors. Leaning in, Khan pressed their lips lightly together as a distraction while he hooked his arms under Jim's legs and behind his back. Carefully, making sure his weight did not settle in a way that would cause Jim pain, Khan lifted his lover with ease, holding him strongly in his arms before he quickly headed for the doors.

Jim snuggled against Khan’s strong body with a sigh, contented to be held so close by his lover.  “Why would I have too much pride to be helped by you?” he asked softly and kissed his neck tenderly, before tucking his head into his shoulder.  “I like that you’re strong enough to take care of me.  You saved my life...and looked after me, too.  No fun for you to just sit by my bed while I lay there sleeping.”  He sighed and settled to allow Khan to take all his weight, thinking the augment would like to take care of him, as well as needing the support.  It hurt a bit to hold up his weight.  

Bones was going to be so mad.  He smiled a little into Khan’s neck.

Stepping out of the medical bay as the automatic doors opened, Khan was forced to stop short, just as a crewmen passed in the hall, giving Kirk and the augment a startled, uncertain look. Khan remained still, protective of the man in his arms until the crewmen kept walking without comment, before he carried on in the opposite direction with Jim held close to his chest. Khan was careful not to jostle Jim with his stride, and while they were forced to wait for a turbo lift at the end of the hall, Khan pressed his nose against the top of Jim's head and hair, breathing softly. "My Jim." He said softly, comforted that even after undergoing surgery, Jim still smelled right, he still smelled like his.

“Yours,” Jim affirmed quietly, knowing Khan was scenting him and feeling strangely comforted by the act and the idea that he still was Khan’s family.  He lightly stroked Khan’s chest, where his hand rested, and focused on the warmth and strength of the man.  “Noonien,” he asked softly, as they got into the lift (which was mercifully empty), “will you help me look at the...damage?  Whatever Bones may have had to do to patch me back together?”  He didn’t manage to look his lover in the eyes when he asked, but he had to see for himself.  He couldn’t wait and wonder.

No matter the damage, they were still family. That would never be undone. In the lift, Khan stood quietly with Jim in his arms, steady against the movement as they were delivered to the correct level. "If that is what you want." Khan answered, turning his eyes down on his young lover. "It may be too soon ... you must still give your body a chance to heal. But I will help you look and assess, if it would help put you at ease."

“I think not knowing is worse,” Jim confessed quietly and looked into his eyes with a small smile.  “I want to see what’s going on now...and hope that if it looks bad Bones’ll tell me that it’ll be all right again.”  He gripped Khan’s tunic in his hand, a little bit of fear in his eyes.  “Or if it won’t.  But having you there with me will make it easier.”

"Would you prefer to do this with Doctor McCoy? He is your friend and a medical professional, both." Khan watched the emotional pull this had on Jim and nuzzled the top of his head once more. "I will do anything you ask, Jim." He said just as the lift came to a stop. Stepping out and down the hall, Khan headed to Jim's chambers, where he waited for the door to acknowledge Kirk's pass code before opening for them.

Jim looked around his room with quiet relief to be somewhere he felt safe and secure, especially when Khan was with him.  As much as Bones was his friend, he found Sickbay distressing (even though he tried not to show it), a place of too many bad memories.  He much preferred recuperating in his own space, where the atmosphere was much more relaxed and conducive to his overall health.  

“Help me get undressed and look at my wounds?” Jim asked softly.  “And then I can put on something more comfortable.”  He leaned up to kiss him with equal gentleness.

Taking Jim over to his bed, Khan sat him down carefully, easing his arms out from under him until he was safely deposited onto his bed. Then with a firm command, Khan asked for the automatic lights to switch off in the front room, and to dim slightly in the bedroom to make it easier on the eyes and less bright or sterile, like in the medical bay. Once the light was controlled to be less offensive, Khan helped Jim to sit up on the edge of the bed. With his hands on either side of him, Khan searched his face, hesitating before he reached for the hem of his shirt and began to peel it up and off his torso.

“Noonien, I’m not afraid of you,” Jim assured and lifted his arms slowly to allow the tunic to be pulled off.  “I know you’re not going to hurt me.”  He offered a warm smile and showed himself to be relaxed by obeying the subtle commands of Khan’s hands.  “You’re not them.”  He glanced down at his chest and abdomen, pleased that almost all of the damage had been repaired.  “How does my back look?”

It was a relief to see that Jim was not jumpy about having Khan touch him or look upon his naked body. But he was careful with his young Captain nevertheless. His fingertips glided over his stomach and up his chest, touching upon a few light scars that had yet to fade. Carefully, Khan let his hand slip over Jim's shoulder and down the length of his back, slowly examining every inch of skin along his spine and around his rib cage. His fingers lingered over a few marks, "Doctor McCoy had done very good work." He confirmed, "This one here may remain a scar-" He said, drawing his finger along Jim's back as a way to show him. It had been one of the ones Khan had been forced to close in the field. It had been a bad one, and by the looks of it, even McCoy had struggled to make the skin and muscle flawless there again.

Jim shivered a little, both from the touch and a searing memory of just how that wound was made.  However, it would not be alone as a permanent scar, and he said, “Well, at least it’s in good company,” before offering a somewhat forced smile at Khan.  “I remember that you treated that wound, so I guess it was pretty bad to begin with, huh?  But if that’s the worst of it after everything they did, I can live with it.”   He looked up at Khan, wanting to read his mood and see if he was all right with looking over places on Jim that might be much worse.

"It was ... it was a mess." Khan said, letting his fingers linger over the skin, remembering how it looked, even though it was no longer bloody or discolored. He wanted to reclaim Jim in these quiet, gentle ways. To remind his body and his mind that he could still be touched, that he was in fact safe with Khan. Dropping to his knees so that he was not looming over his lover, Khan rested his hands on Jim's hips and looked up at him with loving strength. "Allow me to look a little lower? Then we will lay in bed and rest together."

Jim appreciated the soft touches, the care Khan showed in everything he did, and nodded once in answer to his question.  “Yeah, let’s see what the rest looks like.”  He dropped his hands to Khan’s shoulders and then up to caress his cheeks for a second.  “Should I lift up a little?”

"Only a little, do not strain yourself." Khan said, wanting Jim to feel like he could manage, even though Khan was the one doing it for him. Careful not to tug at Jim's hips, Khan worked the fabric of his pants down, which were light and loose fitting anyway, something that McCoy and his people had likely dressed Jim in so that his skin could breathe and heal without irritation. Once the fabric was past Jim's thighs, Khan pulled them down completely, off each leg in turn and pushed it aside on the floor. "Alright?" He asked, hands on the top of Jim's bare feet as he looked up, not wanting him to feel exposed or trapped.

Jim swallowed hard and nodded once at Khan, taking a moment to gather his nerve.  He looked down quickly, not wanting to prolong the suspense a moment more.  What he saw made him bite his lower lip to prevent a horrified noise.

A bite-sized chunk was missing from the left side of his testicles, somewhat jagged around the edges, despite the obvious skill of McCoy’s hands.  There were other, less egregious, signs of injury as well, including a deep furrow running right to left along the lower half and a few remaining scars that had not faded entirely, though they probably would with time.

“Well, that’s...pretty awful looking, huh?” Jim said, trying to keep his game face.

Khan licked his lips thoughtfully as he considered the terrible wound before him. Yes, it was rather awful looking, and unfortunately left the sort of mark that Jim would have to live with for the rest of his life. A difficult reminder. "This is still a tender injury, Jim. In time, some of this will diminish. How does it feel?" He asked, being direct, but calm and steady with Jim during this difficult time.  

“Bones’ painkillers are still working,” Jim murmured, “so I’m not in any pain right now.”  He fought the urge, but finally reached down to touch the wounded area.  “I guess I’m lucky they didn’t saw them right off...actually, I’m lucky you got there before they did saw them off.  Fuck.”  He hiccuped the last word, hating himself for the lingering fear in his voice.

Khan cringed at the notion, lowering his eyes to focus on Jim's feet. His hands remained planted there, thumbs petting the sides of his ankles. "You are far from those dangers now, Jim. All you have to worry about now is me...the devil you know...and all I want to do is kiss your legs." Khan turned his head to the side as if he were going to rub his cheek against Jim's knee, but kept himself from rubbing or kissing until he had Jim's permission.

“Not a devil to me,” Jim said softly and moved his fingers away from where they wanted to touch his injuries and thumbed over Khan’s left cheek instead.  “I’d like that...the kisses I mean.  I’m not too ugly to your eyes right now?”  He flicked his glance to the damage again, mouth turning down into an unhappy frown.

Eagerly, Khan pressed his cheek into Jim's hand, closing his eyes lightly to feel those fingers against his skin. "No my lover, not ugly at all." Khan turned his face into the palm of Jim's hand so that it muzzled his mouth briefly, hiding a little smile behind his fingers. Kissing the palm of his hand, Khan then bowed his head down to kiss Jim against his knee, "Lay back and close your eyes if it helps to not think about it ... focus on my mouth." He said, rubbing his face against the front of his leg. Jim smelled too much like the medical bay and Khan was quickly about to change that.

“I’d like to watch you, if that’s all right,” Jim said and stroked Khan’s fine cheeks, their strong curve.  “The way you prove that you don’t care...it’s kind of reassuring.”  Besides, he didn’t want to fall asleep until he felt Khan wrapped strong around him, holding him close.  And if he lay down, in a few moment’s he’d be asleep for sure. 

"Very alright. It's not a secret." Khan answered with a smile this time. But soon his head disappeared down as he bowed his body close to the floor, where he began to kiss Jim on the top of his foot and around his ankles, nuzzling and pressing his scent to his lover's skin. It was a show of very loving, very willing submission, as Khan did not hesitate in kissing Jim's feet. Soon however, his lips lightly trailed up to another spot, where he pressed several more kisses to Jim's legs and a few light scars from where he had been bound.

Jim understood the significance of Khan’s touches and said, “Noonien,” in an almost choked voice.  He’d never ask the proud former ruler for that kind of gesture, and to have it offered willing made his chest constrict in a very awkward manner.  But not an unpleasant one.  He stroked his lover’s face and neck, before caressing through his hair.  “That’s so lovely, my Noonien.”

Khan purred at the attention, but continued to give his affections undistracted. He kissed his way up lines of muscle and soothingly dragged his tongue over skin that was still discolored with bruising. Khan left his scent everywhere Jim would allow, until he was at last sitting mostly upright and kissing the tips of his knees. His blue eyes finally turned up and he smiled again. "I would continue, but I feel it is much too soon." He said, in a way promising his mouth to Jim another time. "Let me get your bottoms and then I will lay with you, Jim ... touch you ... and hold you safely in my arms."

Each touch eased the knot in Jim’s gut that little bit more, and the gentle rasp of tongue even made him a little warm with arousal inside, though nothing more than the barest flicker.  He smiled at Khan and said, “You’re right.  Even if I were more inclined, I’d probably pass out midway and that’d just be embarrassing.”  He shifted a little, easing himself toward the pillows.  “I’d like that...being held right now.  Relaxing with you until Bones ruins it all by bursting in here and shouting and all the other stuff he does when I sneak out of Sickbay.  I’m definitely getting a few hyposprays for this one.”  He smiled softly and reached out a hand to Khan, wanting him up on the bed.  “Noonien.”

"Healing comes in more then one form. I would think Doctor McCoy knows this." Khan said as he took the offered hand and gave it a light squeeze. Then pushing himself up off the floor, Khan moved to retrieve the sleep pants that had been carelessly tossed on a nearby chair, long days before. He carefully helped Jim into them, one painful leg at a time, and then climbed into the near side of the bed, laying on his side to face Jim. It was a familiar feeling, laying there next to Jim, in his room with the lights dimmed. And it wasn't until he settled like this that Khan acknowledged how tired he was. He gave a deep sigh, which came out as a suppressed yawn. "Lay on your side, if you need to give your back a break. I will be right here beside you. Or tell me what you need, in order to be comfortable."

Jim eased over and then eased over again to press into Khan, wanting to be as close to his lover as possible.  He turned his head to lean against him and smiled tiredly up at his lover, eyelids already starting to droop.  “This is what I need,” he assured him.  “This and knowing you’ll be getting some rest with me.”  He turned his head enough to press a soft kiss to the nearest piece of skin.  “My Noonien.”

"Yes, Jim." Khan said quietly, reaching for the blankets and pulled them up over their bodies, mostly to cover Jim so that he was not so exposed, but also to retain the warmth between them. "Entirely, your Noonien." He added as he wrapped his arms around his young lover, one hand firmly supporting his back, taking the time to match his breathing.

Jim sighed in quiet contentment as Khan curled around him protectively.  He turned his head, eyes still closed, and sought his mouth, wanting to share a few gentle kisses.  Nothing evocative, just soothing and yes, loving.  He wanted both to receive some additional comfort that way, as well as offer some comfort of his own to his lover.  He knows Noonien is more than slightly worried about his well-being, as much mental/emotional as physical.

Khan hummed softly as they kissed, lightly sucking his lips. His eyes closed as he let his body settle. Still quite protective, it would take some time before Khan could completely relax again, but he could find some rest like this at least. "Sleep well, Jim. I will be here, if you need anything."

Jim made a little whining noise of protest as Khan’s lips moved away.  Sure he was tired, but he didn’t really want to give up their kissing so soon.  Still, maybe his lover needed his sleep, too.  “More?” he asked softly, opening both eyes a little wide and pleading.

In no way prepared to admit that he was tired or about show any sort of weakness, Khan pressed their foreheads together with a slight nod. His hand moved to palm the side of Jim's face, thumbing over the corner of his mouth before they kissed again. It was slow and thoughtful, never pressing for more then Jim was willing to give. Lips warm and strong, kissing his lover over and over again.

Jim moaned low in his throat and kissed back with delight, this exactly what he needed and wanted from his lover right now.  This proof that touches could be tender and kind, even from someone so much stronger.  He did not want more than the kisses, but they were soothing and lulled him into a sense of complete lassitude, where he could exist forever.

Even though some of their other games had been rough, this was not currently a game. Khan took care not to grab or bite, or let his fingers linger too close to Jim's throat. Though he did kiss his neck, just under his jaw before pressing his nose into the spot he had just kissed, making a soft, whimper of a noise, wanting very much to just drown himself in his lover's scent. Kissing the side of his face, Khan sought out his lips again, keeping their lips pressed sweetly and lingering together.

“Noonien,” Jim whispered, as Khan kissed his throat sweetly and made a strange kind of whimpering noise.  He stroked through the softness of his hair, even as he kissed back.  “I’m right here,” he murmured when Khan parted their mouths to allow him a breath.  “You saved me.  I’ll be all right...we’ll be all right.”  He initiated the next kiss himself, offering comfort to Khan this time, though he also found some for himself.

"Yes-" Khan agreed quietly. He slipped one hand down the front of Jim's are chest, palm and fingertips resting over his human lover's heart as it beat in pulses and his chest expand as he breathed. The universe was a massive, chaotic place, full of good and bad and neutral; but Khan felt it was certainly a better, more interesting place, to share it with someone like Jim Kirk. A relationship and union Khan was having a difficult time separating himself from, made that much more difficult day by day.  

Jim pressed a kiss to each side of Khan’s mouth and then in the direct center of his lips.  He slid a hand over the one on his heart and tangled their fingers, squeezing gently.  “Don’t stop kissing me?” he implored.  “You’re making me feel better, love.”

Squeezing their fingers together, Khan kept their hands between their two chests, locking them together. Arching his neck forward, Khan continued to kiss Jim on the lips, lightly sucking, and then smiling whenever their mouths came together awkwardly. He wanted to give Jim everything he was looking for, both small pleasures and to feel better, to feel safe and loved.

Jim smiled in response to Khan’s smiles, loving the way it looked on his face, and nuzzled his cheek with a quiet sigh.  “I want to do this all night,” he confessed, “but we both need to sleep.”  He touched Khan’s right cheek and then eased over as much further as he could get to be close.  “Thank you, my Noonien.”  His eyes fluttered closed again, unable to stay open any longer.  But he lifted his head to kiss Noonien’s mouth one last time.

"There is no need to thank me, Jim." Khan kissed him happily, then helped hold Jim close as he tucked himself in closer. If in the middle of the night, Jim needed the same sort of comfort and reassurance, Khan would be happily to provide it. For now however, they were in need of rest and the secure feeling of being in one another's arms.


	15. Recuperation

“Goddammit, Jim!’

Only Khan’s strong arms kept Jim from flailing himself right off the bed, and he offered an apologetic smile at his friend.  “Hey, Bones, not complaining or anything, but couldn’t you have let me get a little more sleep?” he asked, not at all ashamed at having been caught snuggled up to his lover.  In fact, he pressed closer to Khan, knowing he was safe even from Bones’ wrath there.  “I just had to get out of Sickbay to rest, you know?”  He widened his eyes pleadingly.  “And Khan didn’t let me do anything stressful or injury prone?  Did you?”  He looked at Khan, eyes still huge.

Startled awake by the intruder in their room, Khan had remained still in bed, listening, unmoving, until he had more information. Though when McCoy started to shout, Khan turned his head and glared at the man, face stern, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on edge. "Lower your voice." He did not have the same relationship with McCoy as Kirk did, and he did not care for such invasions of privacy. "The Captain has been safely at rest, here."

Oops, maybe a little too protective.  Jim heard the dangerous edge to Khan’s tone, which implied mayhem for anyone who got even relatively close to wounding Jim.  He kissed Khan's chin softly and then turned his head to smile at  Bones.  “We’ll be down to Sickbay in twenty minutes.  Promise.  I’m not running out on treatment and want to hear the prognosis.”  His eyes went down to his groin and then back up to his friend and doctor.  “But I needed to get some natural sleep, and you know how hard that is for me in Sickbay.”  He looked imploringly at Bones, who was obviously softening around the edges.    

“Fine.  But next time, leave a note.  And you-” Bones pointed at Khan.  “-I expect you to have him down to Sickbay in twenty minutes.  No excuses!”  He turned and marched out.

Khan however was utterly on edge. His body was angry and rigid under the blankets. He did not take to being ordered around. At all. He might be at peace with Starfleet, but he felt his tolerance pushed by several of Kirk's officers. And now, his privacy was compromised. With a short breath, Khan smoothed his hands over Jim, reassuring himself that he was alright and still together and whole. "Did you at least sleep well?" he asked.

Jim felt how tense Khan was beside and against him and resolved to talk with him about Bones...later. For now, he needed to soothe and reassure and ease the ruffled feathers of his protective and intense lover.  He relaxed under the gentle hands and felt his breathing and heart rate slow under his ministrations.  “I did.  I needed it, too.”  He touched Khan's strong chest in return, smoothing up the flawless skin to cup his cheeks.  “And did you?”

"Yes. Resting here with you was much needed." Now that he had slept, he could probably go another week without sleep again, if it came to it. "I would suggest you eat something, but I do not know if Doctor McCoy has any dietary restrictions for you during this time of recovery." Khan sighed as Jim touched the side of his face. Closing his eyes, Khan rested quietly, leaning into the touch.

“Yeah, we should get dressed and go down to Sickbay.  I’m pretty sore, so getting dressed will probably take me nearly twenty minutes,” Jim admitted, leaning up to kiss Khan’s mouth once.  “Not to mention trying to get washed up a little.”  He groaned at the idea and then smiled up at Khan.  “But it was worth it to spend the night in your arms.”

"It will be easy enough, if you allow me to assist you, Captain," Khan said, kissing Jim once on the mouth before he pulled away. He ran his fingers through his dark hair with sigh, then got out of the warm bed. But instead of reaching for the clothing from Sickbay Jim had been wearing, now upon the floor, Khan went for a closet which kept Jim's clothing pressed and fresh. There he found a pair of loose fitting pants meant for time spent on a leisure planet, as well as a matching shirt.

Jim carefully eased himself out of the covers and into a sitting position. He groaned a little as he stood up and tottered a few steps toward the refresher.  “I’ll need your help,” he said to Khan with a sheepish smile.  “I’m sore in places I forgot I had.  That’s what I get for letting Bones’ pain medication wear off.”  He leaned and ambled over to let himself collide softly into Khan.  “Give me a few moments to get washed?  And if you hear any loud crashes, come get me?”

"You needn't force yourself to walk yet," Khan said with a frown, his hand going to Jim's back to support him. "Nor will I leave you unattended. You should know me better." Khan kept by Jim's side, helping him the rest of the way to the refresher. Though he was pleased that Jim was showing some signs of strength again, Khan remained in a somber mood, as was his natural state.

“Well, yeah, but-”  Jim’s cheeks colored a little.  “You shouldn’t have to help me with everything that I need to do in here.  That’s too much to ask, even of you, Noonien.”  He had never had anybody personal in his life, before Bones, who helped him when he was ill or injured.  He’d suffered on his own through concussions, beatings, allergies, fevers, stomach bugs that made him so sick he curled up in the shower and didn’t move for days and assorted other ailments and injuries on his own. Bones had changed his perception of going it solo all the time, but some of the skittishness remained.  Why would Khan want to help him go to the bathroom?  That wasn’t sexy at all...

Khan tilted his head, just staring at Jim, bewildered by his statement. "You would do it for me, I think..." Regardless of his own pride, he had a strange sort of faith that led him to believe that Jim Kirk would be there for him at his darkest moment of need. "But if you genuinely do not want my help in this area, I will wait...just here, for you."

“Of course I would,” Jim said without hesitation and then frowned a little at his instant protestation.  “It’s not pride...well, all right, a little of it is pride...I’m just not used to anybody, but Bones or doctors or nurses, whose job is to assist patients, helping me out.”  He leaned into Khan with a sheepish smile.  “Don’t be upset?  I’m not questioning your devotion.”

As Jim leaned against him, Khan pressed their foreheads together. "As you know, Captain. I am not very obedient. I generally do not do things, I do not want to do." He said with a little smile before kissing the side of his face. Then helping Kirk to the refresher, Khan turned on one of the settings, which stripped away the top layer of dead cells, giving way to fresh, clean skin in place of a traditional Earth shower or bath.

Jim hated sonic showers, but they were efficient, and they didn’t have much time.  He was so getting double-fisted hyposprays this morning.  He did learn more against Khan than he probably strictly needed, but the feel of his warm, strong lover behind him was soothing.  He sought an adult way to say that he needed to pee like a racehorse, but finally just ended up pointing and sidling awkwardly away from Khan to take care of business.  Business with the slightest bit of red remaining in it...that was not going to please Bones.  And then to the sink for hands, teeth and hair.  He looked at his reflection in the glass.  “Ugh, I look like something that washed up on a beach after a week in the ocean.”

"Do not say these things. You are recovering and show more strength then you did before." Khan kissed the back of Jim's neck once before he began to help dress him in the light fitting tunic. Even now, Khan kept his hands upon his lover at all times, wanting him always within reach, to be safe in his arms. "If you sit, I will help you with these pants."

“Yeah, even without the pain meds, I do feel better than I did before.”  Jim obediently sat to allow Khan to work the pants over his legs, groaning softly at the slight pain in his nether regions.  “Thank you.  That was much easier with assistance.”  He smiled up at Khan.  “So, do I limp to Sickbay with your support or get another ride?”

"There is no choice in this matter," Khan answered. Carefully, just as he had before, Khan scooped Jim up into his arms, supporting his weight with ease. He paused a moment to endure that Jim was not in discomfort before he headed for the door. There were more crewmen active during this shift, though as Khan walked through the hallway, many of them stood aside to make room for the augment as he passed by with their Captain in his arms.

In this regard, Jim was unashamed and greeted each crewmember jovially as he was carried by, remembering each name and rank.  He knew he had to be a sight, ill and in the arms of the augment who was once their enemy.  But he kept his head high, refusing to show any weakness beyond the unusual mode of transport.

When they got to Sickbay, Bones was waiting for them, equipped with yes, multiple hyposprays.  His expression eased somewhat when they came in, and his tone to Khan was civil.  “Please place him on this biobed and give us a few moments alone, Mr. Singh.”

With great attention and care, Khan placed Jim on an empty biobed. His arms remained around his lover a moment longer then necessary, ensuring that the bed had supported his full weight before pulling away. "Captain," he said with respect, but also a degree of caution. Even though he understood that Jim and Doctor McCoy were longstanding friends, Khan could not help but perceive certain threats. He disliked the implication that Jim had made, that McCoy used hyposprays as a form of punishment against his friend. And if he were to see such an act of aggression against Jim, it would be very tricky work to keep Khan calm. So he nodded once, leaving Doctor McCoy to his patient in privacy.

Jim smiled meekly at Bones and submitted without fuss to his treatments, leaving Bones to do all the fretting during his patented mother hen routine.  He received a few hyposprays, the one for pain instantly making his tense posture relax slightly with relief.  He sent Khan a few smiles to try and ease the wariness in his expression.  His lover looked ready to pounce, and Jim didn’t want Bones to be on the receiving end of his anger.

When his friend had scanned and prodded to his heart’s contentment, they turned to the serious business of discussing Jim’s prognosis and recovery.  A few minutes in, gestures on both sides got a little fiery, as Jim wanted to recuperate in his quarters and Bones demanded more time in the Sickbay.  And both of them forgot the hovering augment.

As the conversation escalated, it continued to grate on Khan's nerves, until at last he snapped. "Quiet!" he demanded, arms dropping to his sides. "This is hardly constructive. The Captain has every right to rest and recover in the privacy of his own chambers, out of sight of peering and intrusive gaze. And while you, Doctor McCoy, have the right to treat your patient ... you can easily do so, by visiting the Captain where he feels most comfortable. In his own room. And not in some sterile lab," Khan said, on some level taking personal issue with it. If it was Jim's problem, it was therefore Khan's problem, but Khan could relate to this matter, of not wanting to be treated like a lab experiment.

Jim and Bones both turned to stare at Khan for a long moment and then looked at each other, Bones with a scowl and Jim with a grin.  “How much trouble can I get into with him there to look after me?” he asked the doctor.

Bones turned his glare on Khan, undaunted by the augment.  “I am not particularly partial, Mr. Singh, to the implication that I’m going to be leaving the captain and my best friend in the middle of the whole Sickbay to be gawked at like a bug under a microscope.  For all that y’all seem to believe I’m a witchdoctor on one hand, with no consideration for my patients, and a miracle worker on the other, who can do everything from afar, I’m neither.  I need Jim here to keep an eye on him, so that I can access him immediately if necessary, and I plan to keep him in a nice, private room to do so.”

Khan met McCoy's irritated expression as he spoke. The corner of his lip twitched, but Khan did not otherwise respond to him. Instead, he then turned his gaze on Jim. The young Captain had the power. It was a recurring problem in this case, as it either meant letting Khan off leash, or setting clear lines and boundaries. "What do you want?" Khan asked firmly, prepared to give Jim what he wanted, and return him to his chambers at the cost of his own freedom and privileges.

Jim looked back and forth between the two men and then let his gaze linger on his best friend.  “Bones, you’re that worried about my health?”

“Yes, Jim, I am,” Bones said, sounding a bit defeated.  

Jim felt a bit ashamed for putting that expression on his best friend, who he knew worried about him (probably deservedly).  He nodded once and said in a soft tone, “Well, I guess I better stay then.”

“Just for a day or two, as long as everything heals well,” Bones promised, putting a hand on Jim’s right shoulder.  “I know you don’t like being in Sickbay.”

Jim offered a somewhat weak smile and asked, “May Khan stay, if he wants?”

Bones glanced at the augment and then said, “I didn’t ask for him to leave when he hovered at your bedside for days while you were asleep, and I won’t ask for him not to be with you now.  We’ll set something up for you both to be more comfortable.”  

“And everything will heal completely?” Jim asked.

“You’ll be fully functional, if a little ragged around the edges,” Bones promised and squeezed Jim’s shoulder once.  “You shouldn’t doubt your doctor.”

“Thank you,” Jim said with obvious relief and leaned against Khan, eyes shutting for a moment to bask.  “Both of you.”

It was a strange relationship for Khan to observe, that went from fighting and bickering, to being supportive and friendly. He took these extremes very literally, in particular the fighting. The mood swings Kirk and McCoy went through with one another often put Khan on the defensive, as he did not understand even now how to interpret them. In a way, it made him miss his own crew and family, and the structure of respect and command everyone followed. He missed power dynamics that made sense to him.

"Captain." Khan gave a nod, backing down now that it was agreed that Jim would stay in medical until McCoy dismissed him. He remained by Jim's side, blinking once as he looked down at his young lover and the relief that was there, now that he knew the damage would not permanently disrupt his sex life. And as much as Khan wanted to wrap an arm around him in a show of support, he felt uncomfortable touching Jim while McCoy still had his hands on him.

“We’ll finish a few adjustments to the room to make it more comfortable for Mr. Singh,” Bones said with a icy glance at Khan.  He was not fond of having his authority tread on, either, especially by someone who could crush his skull.  And might in defense of Jim...not that he didn’t appreciate Jim having someone to look after him now.  He squeezed Jim’s shoulder one more time and walked off.

“Whew.”  Jim slumped even more against Khan and then smiled up at him.  “Sorry about that.”

Once McCoy pulled away, Khan placed his arm around Jim, supporting his upper back. He bowed his own head down to press his mouth and nose into the top of his head and soft hair. He stood like this quietly for some time before he sighed, finally taking a deep breath. "Doctor McCoy seemed to have good news for you." He prompted. "Are you satisfied with the end prognosis?"

“So fucking much,” Jim breathed and then grinned a little sheepishly.  “You all right?”  He reached up to brush the fingers of his right hand through Khan’s hair, stroking gently.  The medicine induced lack of pain, combined with the sleep from the previous night and Bones’ good news, made Jim feel a lot better overall.  He lightly scraped Khan’s scalp with his fingers, knowing how sensitive the area was for his lover.  “Sometimes, I don’t know how Bones and I got to be so close, since he’s a doctor...but it’s a good thing for me, cause nobody else could take care of me the same way. I never listened to any other medical professionals.”  He paused and just breathed deeply for a few moments, until they were in sync.  “Did we upset you?”

Khan frowned slightly, but shook his head no. Upset wasn't quite the right word for it, but he could not suggest an alternative. But he did understand he had a failing in this area. He had from the beginning. He had been raised to believe that Earth was looking for a leader to save them, that he was to be that man. Only to later be confronted with the fact that humanity hadn't really been looking for a savior, but a quick fix.

In this case, it had been drastically scaled down. It wasn't humanity looking to be rescued, it was Jim. And he wasn't actually looking to be saved, but instead was looking for an alternative solution to being in the medical bay. And though he complained about his medical treatment, he wasn't actually under threat.

"The failing to understand your relationship is mine, Captain." But that was not the first time Khan had said that, and it was clear it had not changed in the months aboard the Enterprise. "Are you comfortable?" He asked, not lingering on the subject.

“Yeah, drugs are good,” Jim said, leaning even more against Khan.  “And you’re even better.”  He continued to stroke through the soft hair, as much soothed by the action himself as he was trying to soothe his lover.  “It’s not a failing,” he added after a moment.  “Bones and I are weird.  The way we met was weird.  The way we went through the Academy together and then ended up on the Enterprise against Nero was weird.  But we had each other’s backs, even when we were fighting.  He’s like the older brother Sam wasn’t to me.  I guess that’s very different from your relationships with your crew, huh?  As the CMO, he does have the power to order me around and take me out of command for medical reasons.”

He trailed fingers down the side of Khan’s cheek and asked softly, “Kiss me, Noonien?”

It was very different from the relationship Khan had with his crew. And while they had been through many battles and hardships, as well as good days, such bickering was not something that happened between allies. Individuals were direct and to the point of things. Friendship was more of an alliance, then it was joking or touching.

But Khan did not speak to any of this. He was quieted by the way Jim pet his hair and leaned against him for support. At the request however, Khan let their noses brush before he pressed their lips together for a kiss. At least he could still give Jim this, even though it was not the escape from sickbay he had previously wanted.

Jim cupped the side of Khan’s face and kissed back with a soft moan.  He lightly tugged at his hair and then sipped on his tongue, before pulling back to smile at him.  “Do you want to get anything out of your quarters before you’re stuck in a tiny room with me for a few days?”  His smile turned a little mischievous.  “I may not let you out the whole time, you know.”

"There is nothing I require from there-" He had after all remained by Jim's bedside for several days already, without need of small luxuries or comforts. "I have no reason to leave your side." Khan thumbed over the smile on his lips before kissing him again.

“Good.  I don’t really want you to leave my side,” Jim said and trailed his fingers over Khan’s arms.  “I appreciate you sticking up for me.  It’s a rather nice luxury.  I’m not used to it so much.”  He danced his fingers over Khan’s strong muscles and added, “And I don’t really know how you put up with me.  I know I must seem ridiculous to you so often.”

"Why do you say that?" Khan prompted, eyes down as he watched Jim just fuss and touch him as a means of distracting himself from being in a place he rather would not be. Placing his hand on Jim's knee, Khan kept the connection between them mutual. It would be a long, trying few days to sit by and watch Jim receive treatments while Khan said and did nothing.

“I don’t know.  I guess because you’re so serious and put together, and I’m so totally not.”  Jim was distracting himself with his lover, grateful that Khan allowed him to touch without any complaint.  He turned as Bones came back in with a cleared throat to announce himself.

“Your room is ready, Captain,” Bones said with a raised eyebrow.  “I take it Mr. Singh will transport you.”

Jim smiled at Khan and said, “If he wants to.  Or just give me some support to get there.”

"Yes, I will," Khan said, answering McCoy, but then looking to Jim to ensure that he was ready. Slipping one arm under Jim's knees and the other around his back, Khan lifted the young Captain into his arms, supporting his weight evenly, and mindful of areas that were still tender. Though it was done in part out of necessity, it was also done out of love, as carrying his lover in his arms was something Khan would happily do even if his companion were not injured, though he doubted Jim would allow it at full health. Carrying Jim to his private room, once more Khan eased his lover down on the bed, making sure he was well supported before pulling his arms away.

Bones allowed Khan to settle Jim into the bed and then activated all of the proper sensors to monitor some of Jim’s more troublesome readings.  “There.  I’m still concerned about some of the damage to your systems from the electric shock, especially on top of the blood loss.  I’m going to put you on more fluids, but you can do it by drinking more, if you follow my prescription.”  He handed it to Khan, knowing the augment would ensure Jim does as directed.  “I’ll bring in some flavored water.  The infant doesn’t like plain water.”   He gestured to a comfortable chair near the bed.  “That’s for you.  And the bed’s a double wide...because I know Jim.  But nothing too strenuous, or you’ll set off all the alarms.”

Khan accepted the prescription list, looking over what was on the agenda, how much and how often. He briefly looked to McCoy, accepting and acknowledging his duties. Though he did find it curious how easy it was for McCoy to talk about his friend and Captain in such familiar terms. "There will be nothing strenuous happening here." Khan assured firmly. For one, he felt such things were entirely private matters, and also, he had no intention of rushing Jim's health or emotional safety.

Jim made a whiny sound and said, “Aw, c’mon, guys, not even a little bit of fun?” and then yelped as Bones administered a fast hypospray.  

“First dose, and don’t be an ass,” Bones said with a roll of his eyes.  “Nurse Chapel will bring in some breakfast for both of you, as well as your fluids.”

“A blonde to go with my brunette,” Jim said happily and then leaned into Khan to prevent Bones from doing anything.

Khan breathed out sharply, muscles clenching and a tight knot twisting in his stomach as Jim gave a shout from McCoy's treatments. Standing right there to see and hear Jim in distress put him on edge. These were the sorts of things that set Khan off, because his instincts were very clear on the subject. Especially when Jim very clearly sought Khan out for some level of protection against further treatments, or from McCoy personally.

Bones rolled his eyes again and said, “Well, at least I know you’re still you.”  He offered his own tired smile and added, “Don’t forget to get some more sleep, too.  You’re right that the full night did you some good, but you need a lot more.  Even with the five day enforced nap.”

 “Yeah, I will,” Jim promised and meant it, already feeling a bit draggy at the edges.  “You should get some more rest, too.  I know you’ve been watching over my like a hawk, too, just like Khan.”

“All right, infant, I’ll rest, too,” Bones said with another fond grin, “and have Nurse Chapel and Dr. M’Benga look after you.  But you better not not call me if you need something.”

“Yes, Sir, Bones, Sir,” Jim said with a sloppy salute and laughed as Bones just hmphed at him and walked out of the room.  He laid back with a quiet sigh, but kept pressed against Khan.  “Gonna sit or join me in bed?”

"After you have something to drink and eat, I will join you in bed." Khan set the prescription PADD aside on the nearby chair, choosing instead to lean against the side of the raised bed. Once they had privacy again, Khan pushed for an answer on a topic he had momentarily let slide. "Captain, what do you mean, you will have a blond to go with your brunette?" He asked directly, "Are you involved with Nurse Chapel?"

Jim made a face and said, “No, of course not.  It’s a bad joke…”  He wrinkled his nose a little at Khan and thought about his explanation, before finally conceding that he just needed to dive in.  “I had quite a reputation at the Academy, and it wasn’t really unfair.  I told you that.  But I wouldn’t cheat on you, Noonien.  I don’t even really look at other attractive people the way I used to...though I’m not immune to looking.”  He hoped Khan didn’t mind that...flirting and looking were ingrained in his personality.  “But Nurse Chapel actually refused to serve with me once because of my reputation and Bones had a deuce of a time persuading her to join the Enterprise, even though the ship was the plum assignment and Chapel is the best damn nurse in Starfleet...according to Bones.  So, that was a terrible joke about both of those things.  Yeah?”

Khan understood that Jim had earned a reputation, but he had also believed that his lover promised to be faithful to him. So, he had not interpreted the comment as a joke, but as Jim casually indicating he still had interests elsewhere. "Nurse Chapel is indeed very good. Apart from yourself, she represents Starfleet and humanity quite well in my eyes." It was high praise, whether it was understood as such or not. "But I ask that you do not peruse such interests until I am no longer apart of your life," he said with a slight frown, still not seeing it as a joke; she seemed like a good match for Kirk, able to keep him in line, intelligent and similarly brave.

“Hey.  No.  Of course not.”  Jim reached for Khan’s hands and tangled them with his own.  “I’m not a sleazebag.  I wouldn’t do that to you.”  He squeezed the hands in his.  “I hope you can forgive me the involuntary reflex of a glance or a bad joke.  I don’t know that I can turn that off.  But it’s never serious, Noonien...not unless it’s with you.”  He figured he might never be serious again after Khan.  The point would be rather moot.  “Besides,” he said, trying to lighten the mood a little, “Nurse Chapel thinks I’m as attractive as a wart on a toad.”

Accepting the gesture and his words, Khan nodded once. "I do not want you to be unhappy with our arrangement," Khan said, leaning forward to press the side of his face to Jim's cheek. After standing like this a moment, Khan finally kissed his jaw before pulling back again.

“I’m not that crazy!” Jim protested and then got serious.  “Hey, sit down, let’s talk a minute?”  He gestured to the chair behind Khan.  “You’re not really worried that I’m going to throw you over or cheat on you behind your back are you?”

Khan glanced to the chair, then reluctantly sat there, putting just enough space between them. "No, Jim. It had not occurred to me, until your recent comment. I trust in your promises, in your words...it is perhaps why I find your jokes difficult." He understood them as truth, at least as an initial reaction.

Jim scooted around a little, the pain medications dulling any unpleasant twinges, and faced Khan from his side.  “Yeah, we’re still working on you taking everything I say seriously,” he said with a gentle smile.  “But I get why it threw you for a loop.  I’ll try to rein it in, honest.  It’s just something Bones and I have always done, too, so that makes it harder.  He was always having to clean me up after I got into one scrape or another, especially my first year.  I was still such a mess then.”  He frowned and reached out for Khan.  “Did you have anyone who helped you when things got rough?  Not that kind of rough, maybe, but when things didn’t go as smoothly as planned?”

Pulling at the chair under him, Khan moved it closer to the bed so that it would be easier to hold Jim's hand. "Not in the same way, but I had my lovers, who distracted me with sweet words and their companionship. And my family, expressing that they were still loyal to me and our mission."

“No one person in particular who was close to you, lover or friend?” Jim asked, stroking Khan’s long fingers.  He hoped there was someone, even if it was another lover whose company Khan had valued above all others.  Humans needed close friends, up to and including augments.  He eased forward to lightly kiss his wrist, where he can feel the pulse of his heart through his skin.  

"No," Khan answered, watching Jim curiously. He could see that not having a best friend was somehow considered a mistake. Resting his head on the edge of the bed, Khan watched with a little smile as Jim kissed his wrist, which he let face up and exposed, inviting for this sort of attention. "I have the equivalent of a first officer, my replacement ... but I have confided more with you, then I ever had with him."

“Oh.”  Jim looked rather pleased with that information and kissed Khan’s wrist again, this time a little longer.  “Thank you.  Is it nice to have someone to talk to?  I used to think I didn’t want anyone close to me, but after I met Bones...I realized how lonely and isolated I had made myself.”

Yes, Khan was realizing the same. While he had managed years on Earth as ruler and leader without such a private confidant, and had survived well enough completely isolated in the years of captivity under Admiral Marcus, taking Jim Kirk as his friend and lover had become a very powerful force in his life. "It was not something I ever indulged in. But I am finding it very valuable. It is a relief, to be able to share my personal thoughts or fears, without being seen as weak for it."

“It’s freeing,” Jim agreed, “in a way you never realized was heavy before.”  He traced the veins of Khan’s wrist and looked thoughtful.  “I’ve always hated talking about my feelings, but it’s easy with you.  I never imagined anyone could make me open up so much about myself.”  He tugged at Khan’s arm gently, urging his lover closer.  “Come here?”

Khan sucked on his lower lip, enjoying Jim's touches on his arm. He glanced to the door, hesitating to honor the request. Nurse Chapel was meant to be coming with food and fluids for Jim. He had disliked McCoy walking in on them, seeing them in one another's arms, sharing private moments together, and therefore would equally dislike if anyone else did it as well. Publicly, the crew of the Enterprise was aware of their coupling, but the mechanics of it was still a very private issue in Khan's mind. It was no one's business to see them in their intimate moments. But as they remained undisturbed, Khan finally nodded slightly and climbed into the bed with Jim. Facing his lover and arms going around his middle, Khan held him quietly.

Jim was delighted that Khan was willing to offer so deep a gesture in a more public place and kissed him a thank you.  He rested their heads together and just breathed deeply of his presence.  “When they were torturing me,” he murmured, “it helped keep me together to know you were coming.  That there was nobody and nothing that could keep you from it.  I hoped Spock and the crew would know better than to try and stop you for any reason.  I kind of wished my captors had believed me when I warned them that it was a stupid move.”

Khan petted the back of Jim's head as he spoke, cradling his skull with his large hand and long fingers. "Fortunately the issue did not come up." He explained, "Commander Spock made the tactful suggestion and your officers came to agree to it." Had Khan not been included in the rescue attempt, or had Khan been forbidden from it would have proven a poor decision for the Enterprise. And while Khan would have taken care not to harm any of Jim's crew permanently, he would have acted violently and disabled the ship in order to reach Kirk. It would have cost him much in the end, as he would have no doubt been put on ice soon after as punishment, forcing Khan and his people to remain in the hands of Starfleet for another few hundred, or few thousand years until he was better behaved.   

“I owe Spock a loss at 3d chess then,” Jim said with a warm smile and a kiss to Khan’s chin.  “Sometimes, being logical is a good thing.  He knew you were the best chance to get me out of there unharmed.”  His fingers tangled in Khan’s hair and tugged a little playfully.  “You’re a very good knight in white armor for a distressed captain.”  His whole body molded into Khan’s naturally and came to a quiet rest, secure in the support and strength to be found there.  It was still a new thing for Jim, but he’d come to quite enjoy having a much stronger and protective lover, even if it sometimes bordered on possessive.

"A white knight, in shining armor?" Khan hummed with amusement. "That is a title I have never had before." A knight loyal to his king? Was that it? Was Jim Kirk, Captain and King? Or was Khan a king as well? A king, loyal to his ... lover? Companion? Husband? Khan pushed the thought from his mind with a sigh, knowing it would only cause him heartache. He gave Jim a kiss on the lips, light but lingering as Jim pulled at his hair. His embrace remained unbroken, keeping Jim in his arms, supporting his back so that he did not roll off the opposite side of the bed.

Jim deepened the kiss, made it something a little more passionate, without trying to push too far. He wrapped his arms around Khan and held him tightly, one still buried in the softness of his hair.  This- this made him feel warm and alive and well again.  Knowing Khan still wanted and cared for him, despite the state he had rescued Jim from.  Logically, he knew Khan wouldn’t reject him for that, but the rest of him doubted.  He’d been bitten a few too many times.  When their mouths finally parted, he released a small sigh and said, “You’re kind of addicting.”

"Oh?" Khan purred, meeting Jim's eyes. "Should we be more careful, of how much of me you get in a day?" Even though it was an attempt at being playful as well, Khan would give Jim as much closeness, or as much space, as he wanted. Closing his eyes, Khan bowed his head down and pressed his forehead to Jim's shoulder, tucking against one another, as two animals might as they hibernate through a difficult time of year.

“Nope,” Jim said cheerfully and then snuggled in similarly to Khan. He noted Khan’s attempt to join his light banter with a quiet glee, always gladdened when his serious lover tried so hard for him.  He promised to reward him later with some more serious declarations and actions of his own, tailored to please the augment.  For the moment, resting in his presence seemed the best course of action.

Nurse Chapel gave the captain and Khan a bit of time alone before she carried the tray of liquids and breakfast toward the private room.  She made sure to make a bit of extra noise as she approached, to warn both men...but especially Khan.

At the first light shuffle of footsteps, Khan opened his eyes suddenly and lifted his head, looking towards the door. Though when their privacy was not immediately interrupted, Khan took a moment to breathe. He turned his attention back towards Jim and gave him a light kiss on the side of the face before he slipped out of the bed. Adjusting a few of setting, the bed began to slowly fold upwards, in order to help Jim sit up in bed without putting too much strain on his own body. "You will want to eat, and drink." He said, taking a seat beside him once more, just before Nurse Chapel came in.

Jim made a noise of protest when Khan abandoned him on the bed, but then gamely sat up at his urging.  “Yeah, yeah, I know.”  He sighed and stretched a little, before settling against the pillows as comfortably as possible.  Smiling when the blonde nurse entered, he said (very respectfully), “Good morning, Nurse Chapel.  Thanks for bringing breakfast!”  His cheer faded when he saw that he was getting some sort of light gruel.  “Or not.”

Nurse Chapel frowned a little at him and said, “This is very nutritious and good for slightly weakened systems, Captain.”  She carefully set the tray in front of him and then removed the pitcher from it to pour him a glass of clear fluids, which contained a healthy assortment of vitamins and other essentials for all that.  “Now, I expect you to eat all of that.  Mr. Singh, I’d be grateful if you could make sure he does.  Captain Kirk is not the model patient one might hope for from a man in his position.”

Khan watched the range of moods and emotions on Jim's face as he spoke to Nurse Chapel, pleased to see her, but disappointed overall with his breakfast selection. "Understood." He answered her easily, willing to help in these areas, especially since Jim was unlikely to fight Khan in the same way he did McCoy or Chapel. "Thank you." He said politely, looking to her; thanking her for being the one willing to serve them breakfast, but also for her polite warning before she had entered the room.

Nurse Chapel nodded and said, “I’m happy to bring you some food, too, Mr. Singh, but was uncertain as to selection.  Is there anything I can bring you to eat and drink?”

Jim made a noise of discontent at the idea that Khan got personal service, but shut up when Nurse Chapel slanted him a look.  He began shoveling in some gruel, only to make a horrible face upon first bite.  

Having neglected healthier eating and sleeping habits these past few days, Khan understood it was important to start eating again. If for no other reason, then the fact that Jim disliked eating alone. "Fruit or vegetable, thank you Nurse Chapel. At your convenience, when you are not too busy." He said politely. Plus, Khan was bound to share anything he had with Kirk, if he expressed an interest in it.

Nurse Chapel nodded and said, “I’ll bringing something right away.  And some chai and fruit juice to go with it.”  She offered a smile at Khan, another quick glance at Jim and then efficiently took her leave.

Jim meanwhile was faking eating the disgusting offering and actually just stirring it around a lot.  It was far too bland to be worth ingesting at all, even if he was a bit hungry.  He relaxed when Nurse Chapel left and set the spoon down with a grumpy expression, picking up the water to try and sip it slowly.  His eyes tracked over to Khan above the rim, mischief in them.

"Not satisfying?" Khan asked, leaning forward to give Jim's meal a closer look. It didn't look like anything special, but it was likely designed for function, to be an efficient protein and vitamin, all in one. Dipping his pinky finger into the bowl, Khan sampled a taste of it on his tongue. No, there was nothing gourmet about it, but Khan did not make an exaggerated face of distaste as Jim had. The generic food protein was in fact oddly familiar, reminding Khan of a time long ago, when he and the other augments were newly created, still learning their function and purpose.

“Needs brown sugar, or at least some cut-up fruit,” Jim said hopefully, looking at Khan.  He made a face when Khan ate it without any sign of distaste.  “Or you can just have it, if you want.”  He eased the bowl toward Khan and then yanked it back when Nurse Chapel reappeared with food for Khan.  He stuffed in another mouthful and tried not to gag.

“Here we are,” she said, setting down a lovely fruit salad and some guava juice for Khan.  “Please do make sure the captain eats all his food, Mr. Singh.  It’s essential to his health.”  She favored both men with a sweet smile, ignoring the dirty look Jim shot her way.

“Traitor to her captain,” Jim muttered as her footsteps faded away and then glanced hopefully at the bananas on Khan’s fruit salad.

Thanking Nurse Chapel again before she left, Khan reached for his hot chai immediately, and even smiled a little as the spice filled his nose. "Do not say such a thing. Nurse Chapel is no traitor." Khan took a satisfying sip of his drink before setting it down again. Taking Jim's bowl onto his own plate, Khan began to enhance his meal. Cutting up the sliced banana into smaller portions, Khan dropped them into the portage, mixing them in with his spoon. He took his time, making clean work of it, until Jim's bowl had several more fruits mixed in, his meal now hinted with flavor and color of fruit and their juices. "Here. This should make it more pleasing." He said, setting the bowl back in front of Jim. He knew that even if Jim only picked out the fruit bits he wanted to eat, he would be still eating the porridge intended for him in the process.

“Maybe I should ask you if you’d like another blonde yourself,” Jim teased softly, hoping Khan would know it for teasing.  “You do have a lot of respect for her, obviously.  I’m glad.  Means you’re getting to know my crew a bit more.”  He watched Khan make his porridge a little more edible and then said, “Thanks.  That’s perfect.”  He carefully begins to eat, taking care to get some of the gruel with his fruit, even though it made the fruit less pleasant.  He tried to think about making the entire breakfast better.  “You’re kind.  May I try the chai?”

"You are my blond." Khan said simply, expressing no desire to be with anyone else, either. "But you are correct, I do respect Nurse Chapel." And though Khan was respectful of Kirk's crew and officers overall, very few of them had his full respect. But Nurse Chapel had managed to be one of them.

At the request of his drink, Khan set the cup of chai on Jim's tray instead of being possessive of his meal. Kirk's health and comfort was the priority. Though after he gave up his drink, Khan did pick out a few slices of fruit from his plate and ate them, his stomach needing something to fill it, and his pallet grateful for something to taste again.  

Jim grinned at Khan and said, “You’re awful generous to me, my Noonien.”  He sipped the chai once and then handed it back to Noonien. I’m undecided about the chai.  Maybe if it were a little sweeter.”  He went back to his meal, doing his best to eat it all, especially since Khan had taken the trouble to give him so much of his fruit.  “Do you need more than just fruit?”

"Sweeter?" Khan raised an eyebrow at Jim, "If it were any sweeter, it would be nothing but milk and sugar." Clearly to his tastes, the drink was sweet enough, or at least it was meant to taste the way it tasted without any further alteration. Drinking for his cup of chai again, Khan breathed in deeply, letting the spices once more fill his head. It was a treat, and it would last for as long as Khan remained on the Enterprise. "The fruit is enough, until our next meal," Khan said, eating more of his breakfast, though kept a lingering eye on Jim to ensure he was not simply pushing his food around in his bowl.

“Sounds like a nice drink to me,” Jim said and swallowed down more of his breakfast, before washing it down with his water.  “I hope Bones is going to be merciful and not have me on this diet for long.  He knows I hate all this oatmealy.”  He did make a few morose pushes of his spoon through the concoction, before scooping up a banana and eating that.  “And the rest of Sickbay’s food is just as bad.  Bland and healthy.”  He affected a shudder.

"It is possible to eat healthy foods with flavor. But it seems modern nutrition has been designed for efficiency, not taste. It is unfortunate." Khan however continued to eat his fruit. "Until you are released from the medical bay, I will be sure to sneak in a little of what I have, into your meal to make it more tolerable for you."

“How do I know what you have will be tolerable?” Jim asked with a teasing grin.  He took another huge bite of his breakfast, the banana keeping him from grimacing.  “So, Bones is going to want me to have counseling, and I’m going to want to tell him to stick it in his ear.  I was wondering if you’d be willing to help me with a third alternative.  I’ve done counseling to death, and the main thing about it is to talk about what happened to you and rant and rave and basically go a little mad in private, so you don’t do it in public.  And I was hoping you’d be willing to be my sounding board.”

Setting his empty fruit plate aside, Khan held his cup of chai in his lap, savoring the last few sips he had left. He listened to Jim, but his expression turned to slight worry at the suggestion. "Of course I will listen to anything you wish to share with me. In anger, or grief ... I welcome it. But I am not trained in this area- I do not wish to cause more harm, by responding incorrectly. Are you certain you rather speak with me, then a counselor?"

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll have to do some mandatory discussions with a counselor, too,” Jim grumbled and pushed aside the remains of his food, appetite gone.  “Truth is, they never really helped me after all the other stuff I’ve gone through.  Sure, they did their best, and I know that now...which I didn't when I was younger, but I never got anything much out of the experience.  Except a general unwillingness to talk to anyone about anything, which wasn’t a very healthy outcome.  But I find I can talk to you.  Whatever the reason, you’re an ear I trust and am willing to tell things.  I know it’s a lot to ask…”

"It is not a lot to ask at all, Captain. I want to be what you need- whether you specifically ask for it or not. If you need to yell, or talk ... cry, or laugh ... I will be your partner in these things. And every way in-between. For this subject, or any other." Khan said, resting his hand on the bed, reaching for Jim's fingers to touch and caress.

“You know what’s the worst part about this time?” Jim asked, fingers tangling gently with Khan’s.  “It was over something so stupid on our side.  It was a misunderstanding pure and simple.  We meant no offense and certainly didn’t want to insult them.  And for that mistake, they did this-”  His voice choked a little on the memory.  “I guess to them, ours was an egregious action, but they essentially planned to torture someone to death for misspoken words.  How can they possibly claim to esteem life?”

Khan sighed heavily, but did not back down from the weight of this conversation. He drank the last sip of his chai, then set the cup aside to give Jim his full attention. "This was a very dangerous example of cultural differences. For instance, on Earth, long before first contact, there were hundreds of years worth of literature, movies, and other media to hypothesize what first contact might be like. Exploring what dangers there were to social misunderstandings on such a delicate level. In a way, these fictional stories helped soften humanity so that when first contact was made, there was room for patience and willingness to learn. Many of the species who have joined the Federation have similar backgrounds of speculative fiction, preparing them for peaceful first contact. It is a common theme, and a clearly very important one. As it encourages that species, not to judge others by their own standards. As the saying goes .... you do not judge a fish, by its ability to fly." Khan kept his tone calm and even, wanting Jim to see that he was not to blame for this. "In this case, the local inhabitants judged others by their own standards, without even taking into consideration that the entire universe does not consider their laws sacred too. Their viewpoint was dangerously narrow and unfriendly to new encounters, let alone, new ways of life."

“Yeah.  We’ve fucked up enough first contacts to try and be better about it,” Jim said, “but these things still happen.”  He took Khan’s hand in his, wanting the comfort.  “There are some judgements I don’t think I’ll ever get over making,” he confessed.  “I know the sanctity of life is not held the same way by a lot of other species...and even other humans, but I don’t think the Federation can accept species and civilizations who are willing to torture and murder their citizens, and others, for infractions of the type my crewmember made.”  He rubbed his thumb over Khan’s knuckles.  “They were praying for my forgiveness as they tortured me.  That my blood and pain would be enough to save my soul.”

Khan knew better than to ask about which crewmen had been the offending party. Kirk had taken the punishment onto himself to protect that person and protected that same individual even now by not giving a name to lay blame on. He imagined the guilt was already devastating, knowing the sacrifice Kirk made on her or his behalf.

"Their beliefs are their own, and should not have been applied to you, or to any member of the away team." Khan paused, giving Jim's fingers a gentle squeeze before he asked. "Do you want to forgive them?"

“I don’t hate them,” Jim said honestly.  “I hate what they did to me, but not them.  I didn’t want them to die.”  He shivered a little and admitted, “There’s only one person I truly hate, and I wish I could forgive him sometimes.  But I know I never will.”  He smiled at Khan and said, “I forgave you, after all.  And I care deeply for you now.  I never could have done that with anger in my heart.”  He admitted silently to himself that he never could have done that if he hadn’t learned to forgive himself, too.  He’d carried a lot of self-loathing around for a long time.

Khan changed his stance at these words, shoulders dropping slightly and head turned to the side. Something invisible had dropped off him, and now that the weight had been lifted, Khan looked young, and kind. "You forgive me?" He did not mean to detour from their conversation at hand, but it had been unexpected. As he had previously understood his position, Khan had Jim's respect and affection, but not necessarily his forgiveness.

Jim caught his disbelief and nodded a few times, smile soft.  “For myself, anyway...yeah, I do.”  He made grabby fingers at Khan, wanting his lover nearer to him for this.  “I couldn’t not, in the face of everything I know you to be now.  I understand what drove you to such extremes, even if I hope that you never get driven there again.  And I’m still here.  With you.”

There was still surprise in his wide eyes, lips lightly parted at the unexpected statement. Lowering his head, Khan kissed the top of Jim's hand, then nuzzled the side of his face against his fingers. "Thank you." At his invitation, Khan moved back into bed with Jim, laying with him, face to face. "And I am still here with you, Jim." He said, arms once more wrapping themselves around his lover.

Jim moved the remains of his breakfast out of the way to welcome Khan back into his bed and arms.  He stretched up to kiss him, enjoying the lingering spices of chai, along with everything essentially Khan.  “Noonien,” he whispered and thumbed under one of Khan’s still wide eyes.  “You really didn’t expect that, huh?”  He pressed a kiss on his soft mouth and then pushed his forehead into Khan’s neck, contentedly.

"No. I did not," Khan answered softly. Though as Jim pressed himself in close, Khan sighed happily. One hand naturally came to rest at the back of Jim's head, pleased to be holding him like this. He had no words now, only a peaceful feeling spreading through his body that he could not explain in simple terms. All his rage and power seemed to drift, and for a moment, Khan was nothing but calm as he laid there with Jim Kirk.

“You can talk to me about anything, too, you know,” Jim murmured into that calm.  “I’m not trained in anything useful that way, either, but I know a lot about carrying too much on your shoulders or doing things you later might come to regret.  Also about being alone.”  He kissed Khan’s neck gently.

"Yes. We know one another quite well in this regard." Khan closed his eyes as Jim kissed his cheek. "Have no doubt, Jim, that I trust you." Khan shifted slightly to lay on his back, moving to hook his arm under Jim's side and around his back. He enjoyed this, feeling Jim lay against him, head pressed close to his own, half resting on his shoulder. He could keep an eye on him and the door like this. "I am happy to talk, if you want to talk ... or listen. Or lay here with you, until your next scheduled medication. Tell me, what your heart wants."

“I like talking to you,” Jim said.  “You have such a sexy voice...but more than that, you’re good to talk to.  I feel like you really listen to me.  Even when I throw you off track with my words.”  He added softly, “But what I really want is to be here for you, too.  To share everything that we are capable of sharing together.”

"Yes-" Khan pressed his lips to Jim's forehead. "I know." His breath was soft as his mouth lingered, pausing, not wishing to acknowledge the limits to their time together. After clearing his throat, Khan began to hum gently, inventing a wordless balled to fill the small room with music and sound and the affection he had for the man in his arms.

Jim wanted to protest the ‘I know’ comment, but when Khan began to hum to him, the desire faded to nothing.  He nuzzled into his lover and wished he had the musical ability to at least hum back with some skill.  His entire being was soothed by the sweet sound, which somehow conveyed more to him than any words either of them had ever used.  He hoped Khan could feel those same things from some of his actions, but feared he lacked the really means of conveying the sensation.  

He pressed his lips to the part of Khan’s throat where he could feel the vibration of his humming.  The vibrato under this sensitive area soothed him even more, as he could literally feel Khan’s emotions now.  He flicked his tongue to wet the skin, teasing and sweet.

The tongue to his throat gave Khan pause, and his song was reduced to a soft groan. His eyes closed easily as his head lulled back, surrendering to the mouth. "Distracting," he said with a lingering purr to his voice. "Do you mind my song?" The last time Khan had sung openly, he had still been in his cell and had made security personnel uncomfortable.

“Mind?” Jim asked incredulously and then shook his head once emphatically.  “No, I was loving that.  I shouldn’t have interrupted you.  I’m sorry.  Was it a song you composed yourself?”  He rested his head back on Khan’s shoulder and closed his eyes.  “Please, go on if you want.  Or sing something else, if that pleases you.”

Khan smiled against the top of Jim's head. "I did not mind your type of interruption. But I will continue-" the mood very rarely struck him to sing like this. Generally it was done in private, while attempting to work through complex emotion that human language simply could not address. "It is a song of my creation ... I have no name for it." He said with a slight shrug, petting his hand over Jim's back as he began again. It was not a lament, or sorrowful song as he had been prone to while thinking of those lost to him, though there was a touch of sadness to it, as Khan could not be rid of it in his heart, no matter how happy he was in this moment. His song poured out of him easily, naturally, without awkward pause. Somehow it addressed the love he had for Jim, the happiness he felt to be at his side, the strength of their union, and how Jim Kirk had come to change Khan's life. And then it spoke to a peaceful future, having a life and a family ... and never having to say good-bye again.

Jim curled into Khan and basked in the sheer happy emotions that the song caused inside him.  It wrapped around the dark, lonelier pieces of his psyche and made them somehow lighter and easier in the moment.  He responded when it faded away by stretching up and kissing Khan.  “That was amazing.  You- that was for me?”  He realized that may have made it sound a little conceited and added, “It just made me feel...special.”  He was a second away from saying loved.

"Yes, Captain. It was for you. For both of us." Khan sighed, having for the moment, calmed his otherwise very busy mind. But after a kiss, the moment passed and Khan was back to thinking, and over thinking, processing every upcoming minute, hour and day. "Let me get you more water. You are due for your next prescription soon."

“Your reality is harshin’ my happiness,” Jim complained and held tighter to Khan.  “You had me in a happy place and now look at me.”  He made a pouty face for his lover, playing it up a little for them both.  He really wanted to keep his own spirits high and Khan’s as well. The augment was obviously worried, despite his song.  

"Do not make this face-" Khan laughed, covering his hand partially over Jim's mouth and eyes. "And do not be upset with me. I shall sing to you again, if it would put you at ease." He removed his hand, cupping the side of Jim's face, thumbing over the line of his jaw. "I am your friend and companion, I am here to care for you."

The happiness in Khan’s expression makes James laugh, too. “My lover, as well, Noonien,” Jim said, “and I guess I’ll take my medicine.  Will you administer it or ask for Nurse Chapel to do it?”  His tone certainly indicated which of the options he preferred.  And he leaned into Khan’s hand to heighten his obvious preference.   

"I will do it." Khan said with a nod. Once more Khan let his feet drop to the floor as he got out of the shared medical bed. "I do not like it when the others make you shout in pain and discomfort." Not that he had seen Nurse Chapel handled Jim poorly, but in particular he did not like it when Doctor McCoy gave him jabbing hyposprays instead of showing a gentle bedside manner.

Looking over the order of medications Jim was scheduled for, Khan retrieved each from their storage locker. He checked each one to be certain the seal was not broken, that they were clean, and full and the correct dose. Then as he approached Jim once more, Khan kept the hypospray down, rather than brandishing it as a weapon. "Alright?" He asked, reaching for Jim's shoulder, lightly fingering as the fabric around his neck, tugging just enough to make his collar bone visible.

Jim looked sheepish and ducked his head to the side to allow Khan better access.  He hesitated to tell Khan that part of that was just play, though Bones did tend to be a little rough with the hyposprays when Jim was being obnoxious or difficult.  Which was basically all the time, so Jim didn’t really blame him for the somewhat aggressive handling of his injections.  Especially since a time or two, Jim had managed to duck out of them completely and later paid the price for not allowing treatment.

“I’m ready,” Jim told Khan quietly and reached out to lightly stroke his side.  “I know you won’t cause me any unnecessary discomfort.”

"Three- two- one-" Click. Khan delivered the first hypospray, emptying it in full before setting it aside. He took the time to check the effected area, just to be certain Jim did not have a reaction to it, even though McCoy had chosen and approved each treatment beforehand. Satisfied, Khan then reached for the second one and stepped a little closer, wanting Jim to keep his hand on him as he delivered the second one a little higher on his neck. "Three. Two. One." Click. "There ... that's all for now."

Jim sent Khan quiet approval for his sweet bedside manner and said, “Thank you.”  He resettled himself, arranging his pillows so he could sit up for awhile.  He was still somewhat tired, but not enough to want to lie down and try and sleep.  “You have a good touch with those.  Very gentle.”  He watched Khan put away the hyposprays and dispose of the empty capsules and waited for him to return.

Khan visibly eased. It would have been troubling if he had made Jim cry out or harmed him in his attempts to help him. He poured Jim another glass of water and handed it to him. "Would you like the PADD? To read or watch media from your archive?" He said, not wanting him to be bored or restless.

“Read something to me?” Jim asked.  “I’d love to just listen to you tell me a story.  If you want…”  He took the water with a slight pout, but drank it dutifully.  “I’m going to have to pee soon, and you’re going to have to help me, and it’ll be all because you keep making me drink.”  

"It is important that you drink. I do not mind the consequences of it." Khan said as he sat in the chair beside the bed, giving Jim some room to himself to get comfortable. Taking up the handheld device, Khan began to navigate through the archive. Surprisingly, he found several old Earth folktales, Arabic and Indian fables, though refrained from reading them, as he did not want to give Jim ideas about trapping tigers, or tricking lions. Not that he would. "Hm." He sighed, unfamiliar with many of the more modern titles in literature, until he came across one he did know. "How about a story of a mongoose?

“Rikki-Tikki-Tavi?” Jim asked, sitting up a little more, eyes bright.  “Yeah, I’d like that.  I mean, even if that’s not the story, I want to hear it.  Whatever sounds good to you.”  He grimaced a little as he pulled at one of the remaining sore areas on his back and slumped down again a tiny bit.  “Thank you, Noonien.”

"You know the story?" Khan smiled at this. "Good, then." After he was sure Jim was settled and comfortable, Khan began to read. "This is the story of the great war that Rikki-tikki-tavi fought single-handed-" Khan had excellent pacing to his storytelling, tone expressing calm or excitement as the tale called for it. Though several minutes into reading, just before the story escalated, Khan paused, ensuring that Jim was still enjoying himself.

“Why did you stop?” Jim asked.  He shifted on his pillows and waved a hand hopefully at his lover.  “Please, keep going?”

"I just wanted to be sure you were enjoying it." Khan hummed, dragging his finger across the screen to scroll to the next page. Shifting in his chair, Khan continued the story, telling of the battle between Rikki the mongoose and Nag the cobra as they fought. Rikki in the end, protecting the humans he had come to care for.

Jim was still smiling when Khan came to a finish, and he said, “That was even better than I remembered.  Probably because you were telling it...and enjoying yourself.  It makes a story that much better when the storyteller obviously enjoys himself, too.  I take it you knew the story from before?”

"Yes- when we were first learning, we often read to one another. Even simple children's stories. But I am fond of it." Khan let his eyes linger of the screen before him, seeing how small such things were after so much time. One story, among billions. Trillions. "I am surprised you knew it. What else should I read to you?"

“What you don’t even want to hear how I knew about it?” Jim asked, mock hurt.  “Or tell me more about reading to the others?  Cause I’d kind of like to hear about you reading stories to other kids and what your favorites were.  And why you liked them...”  He looked hopefully at his lover, thinking how seldom Khan ever mentioned being young or volunteered anything about his life before.

"I presumed Starfleet Academy had some sort of required reading list from classic Earth authors. If that is not the reason for your knowledge of Kipling, then I would be happy to hear how you came to be introduced to his story." Khan sat back in his chair, pausing for a moment before he admitted, "I know I do not talk with you much about my life on Earth, or how I was raised in Chrysalis." As close as he was with Jim, he was still very private in some areas, holding himself together in reserved silence. And it was not because he did not trust Jim, but rather, "I do not think you would approve of many of my stories from those days."

“I liked to read when I was young,” Jim said to answer Khan's initial question and also encourage him to tell his own stories.  “It helped me escape from my actual life.  Probably the only sane hobby I had.”  He didn’t mentioned how he’d sneak out of the house with a cheap PADD in the middle of the night and go off to unsafe places (like the rooves of deserted barns or the tops of tall tree) to read.  “I devoured all kinds of stuff, both great literature and trash.”  He laughed a little at his younger self, thinking of some of the terrible porn he’d found, before his expression turned sober again.  “I might not understand a lot of your story, it’s true.  The times were very different.  And I have a feeling I’d hate the way you were treated when you were young...but there must have been some good things.”

Khan smiled a little, curious and amused to hear Jim admit to his reading preferences. He could imagine him very easily, tucking himself away when he could not otherwise escape, reading anything he could in order to find a world and a life difference from his own. Whereas Khan and the others had read in order to understand humanity, how humans thought, understand their dreams, how they fought personal battles, to see the patterns that consistently proved to be struggles for their race, and in the end, how to overcome them all, to be the leaders humanity needed.

"Sometimes I would read to the newly conscious, so that they could hear how words were meant to be constructed into language and storytelling. It helped us experience the variety of human cultures, without leaving our encampment. Reading to the others ensures that we all processed information at the same rate." At Khan's speed, which made him someone the others followed from the beginning.

“Newly conscious,” Jim repeated slowly.  “I have a feeling you don’t mean infants.  But that’s...well, that sounds like a nice way to start life, with your voice reading stories.  I wouldn’t mind waking up to find you there, speaking to me in that voice of yours.”  He smiled at Khan and reached out for his hand again.  “And what kind of stories did you like reading best?  Adventures?  Or meaningful pieces of literature?”  He wondered how Khan could think humans were mere bugs after reading those kinds of things, but shied away from the darker, more upsetting questions.  There was no reason to bring them up now.  The past was gone, and Khan deserved better than to have it rehashed.

"No, not infants. It was not practical to raise us birth. Doctor Kaur began the Chrysalis program with surrogate mothers, herself included, but found that the process was too slow, prone to error, as the surrogate mothers still ended up passing on some of their genes, which defeated the purpose of being engineered." At the offered hand, Khan reached out as well and clasped their fingers together. Even with all the other augments, it had still been a lonely and isolating time, before being released to serve their purpose.

"The newly conscious were therefore required to learn quickly. And those of us that were created first, were responsible for bringing them up to speed. It was therefore rare that we would repeat stories, or lessons already learned. But I was fond of telling stories of animals ... what you would consider children's tales ... as they did not center around human endeavor or love stories, but the struggle and enduring presence of nature." Khan frowned to himself slightly, "You might think it strange, since I am engineered, that I would find myself drawn to these stories about nature, but I related more to the animals, their struggle to survive, to be exactly what they were and not be changed by humanity."

“No, I don’t think it’s strange at all,” Jim said and gently squeezed Khan’s hand.  “It seems like a natural response to your circumstances.  No matter that you were engineered, Noonien, you’re still human.  You still need all of the same things a human needs and being denied so many of those things from the time you were young...that was a terrible thing to do to you.”  It was no wonder he cared for his family so much.  They were all he’d ever had in a world that’d forced him to be alone from the beginning.  

Jim tugged Khan toward him with their joined hands, trusting the augment would follow his gentle pull.  He leaned away from his pillows to meet Khan with a kiss, wanting to show him that he wasn’t alone now.  He had Jim, for as long as they were together on the Enterprise.  Someone he could talk to, share with, trust to have his back and never consider him weak for needing someone to lean on.

Khan gave a pained attempt at a smile at being told he was human. He had never felt entirely human, even though technically he and the other augments were a divergent species of the human race. He had enjoyed the stories of animals, because he had related to their struggles. He understood what it meant to be bred and trained for a singular purpose. He understood the rage of lions, fighting against gladiators. The bravery of horses, keeping a small part of themselves wild, even as they were broken by their masters. The loyalty of dogs, who will die for a cause that is not their own. Or the love of wolves, who will care for children that are not even of their own species.

As Jim encouraged him closer, Khan nodded against the kiss. He understood what was being said. "And you, Jim? What was your favorite book as a child? What do you still enjoy reading, to this day?"

“King Solomon’s Mines.  John Carter of Mars.  Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea.  Dune.  Anything about adventures in mysterious lands, about people exploring and learning and being a million miles away from the farmlands on Iowa.”  Jim stroked Khan’s face, thinking how much he had hated that pained smile he’d sported a moment ago.  “But I guess my favorite was Call of the Wild.  I always wanted a dog.”  He leaned in to kiss Khan’s nose softly.

"Yes, I imagine you would enjoy those stories." Of heroes and adventures. Encountering the new. Changing the world. Or influencing the universe. Not small goals at all. Khan smiled a little more freely at this comment and the kiss to his nose. In a way, Jim had a dog, with someone like Khan at his side. Someone who was wild and feral, not easily handled, but loyal to those in their pack. But Khan did not admit to this role, even if he did admit to identifying with animal protagonists over human ones. "Shall I read you Gulliver's Travels? It may fill the time in your remaining days here, in the medical bay."

“Is that a favorite of yours?” Jim asked curiously.  He had heard of the book, of course, but never read it.  And he wanted to know more about what Khan liked and how to make him happy.  He worried a lot that Khan hadn’t ever really been happy and might not even fully understand what it meant.  So, Jim wanted to do everything in his power to give Khan whatever happiness he may.  

He kissed his lover again before the other man could reply, inviting Khan to deepen the kiss and share.  His hands stroked through Khan’s soft hair, before one meandered down to caress Khan’s nape.  Warmth suffused his insides at these touches, a feeling he was almost afraid to name, but that same feeling translated through his lips and hands.

"Ah-" Khan grinned into the kiss, surprised, but pleased that Jim was pushing for touch and affection; that his time in captivity and torture had not put him off the experience. Their tongues pressed and twisted in a teasing sort of dance, which Khan was more then willing to slowly draw out. Though as Jim continued to touch and pet his warm body, a surprising explosion of heat rushed through his body, down his spine and out through every sensitive nerve in his body. He groaned softly, reading to Jim utterly forgotten, as he basked in the sweet attentions of his lover.

Jim echoed the noise and then pulled back to nuzzle at Khan’s cheek and nose, smiling at and for his lover.  His hands continued to pet and stroke Khan’s hair and nape, unwilling to give up their movements.  “Noonien,” he murmured, just wanting to say his name, to hear it roll off his tongue.  “Come here and hold me while you read?” he invited.

For him, his experiences on the planet had nothing to do with the tender touches he shared with Khan.  His torturers had not molested him sexually in any way, for all that his testicles had borne the brunt of unkindness.  And he wasn’t planning to have sex right away, though he was happy to help Khan find pleasure.  

Khan continued to hum happily at the fingers against the back of his neck, slipping back into the comfort of sharing Jim's bed all too easily. It took a moment to position himself however, so that one hand was still free to scroll on the digital display, while his other was pressed against Jim's back, arm hooked around him. "Now, this is a story in four parts. The fourth is the one I enjoy the most, but it will take some time to get there. But it is an adventure story- exploring new cultures and encountering different forms of life, so I believe you will enjoy it. But if you grow tired of it, I will stop. Just tell me when you need a break."

Jim shifted and slid until he could fit easily against Khan’s body, with one hand still in his hair and the other tucked against his chest.  He hummed a soft noise of contentment and rested his head on a broad shoulder, feeling safe and secure against the stronger man.  “I may fall asleep,” he admitted.  “Please don’t take that as a commentary on your reading.  I’m just a bit tired still...and you’re like a nice, cozy furnace.”  He kissed Khan’s neck and then sucked lightly at the same spot.

Groaning again, Khan glanced at Jim out of the corner of his eye. Troublemaker. Attention to his neck like this was difficult to ignore, especially since it directly effected a tingling heat behind his hip, making him more then half hard. But it would go ignored for now. "I understand, Jim." Khan said, not at all offended, but rather he was pleased that he could be what Jim needed right now. Someone safe and warm to hold onto, to ground himself. So after clearing his throat, Khan began to read to his young lover, opening up a new fictional world to him so that he might lose himself.

Jim settled into Khan’s arms and soon did find himself drifting off on a wave of warm words, spoken in Noonien’s soothing tones.  He murmured a few nonsensical sounds of happiness, before he allowed himself to fall asleep in his lover’s arms.

Once he was certain that Jim was at rest, asleep in his arms, Khan stopped reading and set the PADD aside. Pressing his nose into the top of Jim's soft blond hair, Khan smiled to himself, slowly breathing in his scent. He remained awake and on guard, though murmured nonsense whenever felt Jim begin to stir, to simulate still being read to.

Jim woke up slowly, the sound of Khan’s voice in his ears easing him awake.  He groaned a little as his eyes opened, though, and murmured, “Hurts.”  He struggled a little to sit up, not really completely awake yet.  “Noonien?”

"I'm here, Jim. Right here." Khan assured, his free hand now pressing against Jim's chest, easing him to lay back so that he could get a better look at him. "What hurts? Tell me." Khan was calm with him, but he needed to know if the pain was due to his medications not being strong enough, or if he was experiencing something new.

Jim grimaced and said, “Everything...did my dosage wear off?”  He pushed his face into Khan’s neck for a moment, breathed in his soothing scent and then pulled back to look into his eyes.  “How long was I asleep?”  A little woozy still, even as he sat up more, Jim leaned into Khan, knowing his weight would be supported without question and with perfect ease. 

"You slept for nearly five hours." Khan lightly passed his free hand over Jim's body, testing his muscles to see if they were in sore knots, or sensitive and tender. "You're not due for your next hypo for another hour- but there is no sense in you waiting, if you are in pain now." Khan carefully peeled himself away, hands gently easing Jim back so that the biobed supported him. "I will give you half your dosage early, and the second half when you are scheduled for it." He would also make a note of it in Jim's electronic chart, which would update McCoy on Khan's amended plan of action.

Jim hissed a little as Khan’s hand ran over his back and then pouted as he left him to fetch the hypospray.  But he sat up and said, “As long as we don’t make Bones mad by doing it early.  I can wait...the pain’s not that bad.  I’m used to it.”  He nearly bit his lip at the last, thinking that was a dumb thing to say to Khan.  Still it was the truth.

Khan turned back and scowled at Jim, not at all approving. "I will contact Doctor McCoy and ask for his suggestion if you prefer- But there is absolutely no need to make you endure any pain, when the solution is in hand." Regardless of how bad it was. And anyway, if it was bad enough to wake up to and mention, then it was important to deal with right away. "You are in pain now, I am not going to make you wait an hour for relief."

“All right, Noonien,” Jim soothed, seeing he’d upset his lover.  “I’m not going to object to some relief.  I’m definitely sorer than I’ve been since you brought me back.  Residuals of everything, I guess.  We can let Bones know, and he can scold me later, if he feels it’s warranted.  I’m surprised he hasn’t barged in here already, except that I was asleep, which he always likes.  And he has his trained blonde barracuda on guard.”  He referred to Nurse Chapel this way with a cheeky grin, knowing Khan rather liked her.

Adjusting the dosage on the hypospray, Khan approached his patient. Easing back the fabric on his shoulder like before, Khan gave him another shot. "Perhaps if you change positions for a little while, that also might help." Khan suggested as he input the new information on Jim's chart. He paced the small room as he read through Jim's stats over the past few hours, though it was still too soon to see any concerning patterns, even for a mind such as his which was accustomed to complex problems. "I doubt very much anyone can train a barracuda. Blonde or otherwise." Khan said, glancing to his lover with a little smirk.

Jim made a slightly exaggerated grunt in his efforts to struggle into a more upright position, before he managed it and then slumped back against his pillows again.  Watching his lover pace, he asked, “Do you need to go work off some energy?”  He totally sympathized with that idea, wishing he could go take a walk around the Enterprise, too.  “Hey, you think Bones’d let me go for a ride in a hoverchair, if you went with me?”

Khan looked up from his reading at the suggestion. The potential energy he could produce at any given time was quite extreme, it was no wonder he was so tightly wound up. It was also no surprise that when he did let go, people tended to get hurt. Then again, that was the point of his engineering. To be pointed in a direction and let loose. "I won't leave, unless you are with me. And I doubt Doctor McCoy will want you very far from his reach. But I will ask on your behalf, if you like." Not that Khan and McCoy exactly got along.

Jim snickered at the idea and shook his head.  “Nah, I’ll ask him.”  He reached out and pressed a button on the biobed to summon the nurse and grinned when Chapel poked her head in a moment later, looking surprised.  “Hey, Nurse Chapel, will you ask Bones to come check me out?”

Her look turned ever more surprised and a touch concerned.  “Are you experiencing any new symptoms or increased pain?”  Her eyes flicked expertly over the readings above his head.

“Khan just gave me a hypospray, cause the pain was pretty bad, but mainly, I just wanted to give him a chance to check in.”  Jim’s smile turned boyish and guileless, which only made Nurse Chapel that much more suspicious.  “Aw, c’mon, Christine, I’m trying to be a good boy here.”

She rolled her eyes in a ridiculous manner, but said, “I’ll let him know you want him.”

“Thanks,” he called after her, as she strolled off and then turned to Khan.  “Now, to be on my best behavior.  Or maybe not...that just makes him anxious.”

"Alternatively-" Khan said calmly, "I will be on my best behavior and you be entirely yourself ... puppy dog eyes and all." Jim had a way of manipulating his friends, in a friendly way. Whereas Khan and McCoy tended to step on one another's toes and get their feathers ruffled for it. And Khan got at least one point in his favor for asking permission, instead of just stealing Jim away again, then it was at least a step closer to being on somewhat good terms with the doctor.

Jim snickered and said, “I thought that was your best behavior with Bones.  You and he are temperamentally suited not to get along very well.”  He attempted to straighten a little as he heard his best friend’s grumpy, snarking commentary to Nurse Chapel as he approached.  “Hey, Bones!” he said chipperly as his friend walked in.

Bones shot him a suspicious look and headed over to read the reports from the last few hours.  “Noticed you were getting some sleep,” he said.  “Since I usually have to hit you over the head to make you rest, I’m thinking the wounds are bothering you more than usual.”  He noted the hyprospray administered early and his frown deepened.  He set aside the PADD and began a more hands-on routine, looking over the healing surgery scars and wounds.  He paused when he got to Jim’s more private areas and looked over at Khan.

“Nothing he hasn’t seen before,” Jim said, trying to be cooperative.

Bones made a horrible face, but gently began to examined the damage to Jim’s testicles.  “So, tell me,” he grumbled, “to what do I owe this good behavior?  And no, you can’t have cheeseburgers for dinner.  Or be allowed back to your quarters early.  Or have sex.”

Jim stuck out his tongue at Bones and said, “I don’t want any of those things.  I want to be able to roam around the Enterprise in a hoverchair for a few hours.  I’m bored stiff, and Khan is going to pace a rut in the floor.  We need to get out, Bones!!  Please!”  Eyes went wide and hopeful.

It was true; Khan been trying to reflect good behavior with McCoy, and the rest of Jim's crew too, but it was easier to manage with most of the senior officers and other crewmen, just not the Doctor. So he would try harder. Though that in part only made him look like a quietly seething volcano, instead of someone who was naturally calm. Khan watched without comment as McCoy handled Jim, examining his body. It was a great test for him, probably more than anyone in the room realized.

"The Captain is a social creature. You cannot expect him to share nothing but my company for his remaining time in the medical bay. A few hours, Doctor, is what we are looking for. Captain Kirk will remain under my supervision." Not that Khan was sure McCoy entirely respected what that meant. "And I will return him to your care, in time for his next hypospray, or sooner, should the outing prove unfavorable."

Bones sighed and looked over the readings again, before carefully reassembling Jim’s clothes.  “Fine.  If you eat all of your lunch without complaint or amendment.  And if you promise you’ll let Mr. Singh know if you’re in pain or in any way uncomfortable and need to return to Sickbay...even though I know you’ll break that promise.”

Jim alternated between happiness and poutiness at the words, but settled on gratitude by the end.  “I’ll eat all the food, but you know I’m going to complain.  Sickbay food sucks.  There’s no way around it.”  He grinned up at Bones’ grumpy expression.  “And you know Khan won’t let me get away with letting myself hurt.  He’s got a sharp eye...two of them, even.  He catches me out even when I’m trying to fake.  I’ll be hauled back here kicking and screaming the whole way.  Right, Khan?”  He winked at the augment playfully.

"You won't have the energy to kick or scream, but the base point is valid, yes. I will bring you back here, if being out proves to do more harm then good." Khan said in agreement. However, he had every intention to ignore the request not to amend Jim's food. He would ensure that Jim ate, which meant mixing in a little of his own meal to make the bland nutrient gruel more tolerable.

Bones hmphed in response to both men, but there was a quirk to his lips.  “Fine.  For two hours, Jim.  And then you can check in and see how you’re doing.”  He glanced over his outfit and added, “I’d get a shower and at least put on your tunic, too.  You look a fright right now, and the crew’s already pretty worried about you.”  He softened further and said, “I think I’ve had more people drop in with ridiculous complaints just so they can ask about you than ever before.  You’re making my Sickbay a mess, infant.”

“Well, you could let me-”

“Don’t even start with me,” Bones said and picked up a hypospray.

“I surrender!” Jim said, hands up.  “Eat first?  Then shower?”

Bones chuckled and said, “Yeah, I’ll have Christine bring in lunch.  You want something too, Mr. Singh?”  He glanced over at Khan.

For a brief moment Khan was humbled as he realized that being allowed to remain at Jim's side was a privilege others wanted, but were not afforded. Kirk was popular and well loved, so it was indeed an honor that Jim allowed Khan to stay close at hand where others could not. Khan was still reflecting on this when McCoy spoke to him, "Yes-" he started, looking over to the doctor, "thank you." He said, wary of how McCoy used the hypospray as a threat or weapon. But as always, it was an aspect of the friendship between the two humans that he did not understand.

“Do you want anything in particular?” Jim prompted his lover, knowing Bones’ question to the same effect might be a little less friendly.  And understanding Khan seldom asked for things like that from his crew, which confused him a bit.  “You shouldn’t suffer through eating the same garbage I will be.”  He leaned away from Bones with a grin, but the doctor just rolled his eyes at him.

"The chef usually prepares a soup daily. That, and a sandwich will do." Khan answered patiently. He was reminded, that even though he had been a prisoner, and now under Starfleet's care, the humans barely understood his needs or his ways. Not that he expected them to, since the majority of them were looking forward to the day when they unloaded Khan and his crew. Not that he blamed them.

“You heard the man, Bones!” Jim said imperiously.  “And if you can see that my food is at least something better than the mush I got this morning, I’d be eternally grateful.  Maybe some of the soup the chef made?  Soup is good for recovering patients, right?”

Bones said a few choice words that were definitely not taught as part of bedside manner and stalked out.

“Sweet!  I’m totally getting the soup,” Jim said happily and then smiled at Khan.  “Do you mind giving me a hand showering?  I’m figuring I’ll be pretty tottery on my feet.  I’d hate to fall down in the shower before getting to go on my hoverchair ride.”

"Of course I do not mind, Captain." Khan said, finally approaching Jim on the biobed now that McCoy was gone. "Where are the facilities?" He asked, both hands going to Jim's knees to ease his legs over the edge of the bed. "Here-" he added, looping his arms around Jim to scoot him closer to the edge, "but your arms around my neck and we'll stand you up. It will be a nice change, to stretch everything out." Khan would still be carrying his weight, but it would be good for his muscles and bones to be stretched out and not always carried like a child.

Jim’s arms slotted naturally around Khan and without hesitation, he lifted himself right up in to a sneak kiss attack to his bowed lips.  He pressed there for a moment, before pulling back with a sigh.  “You’re right, that was nice.  My lips definitely needed stretching.” Mischief accomplished, he did allow his legs to extend with a contented groan.

"Very amusing." Khan said dryly, though gave a gentle nuzzle, kissing Jim on the cheek. Helping Jim to take a few steps away from the bed, Khan smiled at him, "Perhaps we should just slow dance." He suggested, and in a way he did, slowly shifting their weight together as he lead Jim to an adjacent door so that he could wash.

“Mmmm, I like the idea.  I enjoyed our dancing before and think we need to do it again with a better conclusion.”  Jim winced a little as his left leg twinged in complaint at the movement.  “I’m like a newborn calf,” he muttered.  “All wobbly limbs.”  

  
They entered the small refresher unit, and Jim grinned at the water shower, one of the few perks of solitary confinement in Sickbay.  “Sweet.”  He released Khan’s neck and trusted him to keep him upright, even as he stripped off pants and shirt.  “Ugh.  I feel disgusting.”  He pressed his nude body against Khan as he stepped out of the fabric pooled around his ankles.  “I must smell terrible to you...since I imagine your olfactory system is just as enhanced as the rest of you.” He lifted his eyes to look sheepishly at Khan.

Khan watched carefully as Jim undressed, hands always where they were needed most to keep Jim upright. For a moment, he even allowed himself to press his lips to the back of Jim's shoulder, even if it was to be soon washed away. "Not at all, Jim. You smell entirely natural." He said with ease and a friendly tone. "Your body oils have overpowered the sterile smell of the medical bay and your surgery ... so for me, it is refreshing that your scent it still strong, that we are still family."

Jim chuckled and said, “You really are the sweetest lover I have ever had, Noonien.  Only you would tell me that my BO makes me smell more like family.”  He soothed his playful words with a kiss to let Khan know that he did understand how important that was, and that it was important to him, as well.  “I’m glad I’m still your family.  I don’t want to ever stop being your family.”

"Our bond cannot be undone. It is impossible." Even if tomorrow Khan did something that Jim truly could never forgive, and in turn banish him, hate him, it would not change the fact that in his heart, Khan still considered him family. "You will always be my family." Khan seemed to relax upon hearing that Jim did not hate the term, but that he in fact felt very strongly about their connection as well.

“Funny, you’re my only real family that I actually share blood with,” Jim mused quietly and then tugged him into a kiss of passion, but not physical passion.  He shared his mouth with quiet ferocity and then stepped back, a little shaky and still within the circle of Khan’s arms, to turn on the water.

Khan proved that he was equally hungry for Jim's mouth, moaning softly into the kiss, cupping the side of his face before he pulled back. Staring with magnificent blue eyes, Khan exchanged a look that said: you will always have me, you will always have family, you will never be alone in the universe. Shuffling their feet together, Khan helped center Jim under the showerhead, not minding the fact that he would get his clothes wet in the process. "Jim-" He began after a moment, "when we find a suitable settlement, will you stay to meet my people?"

Jim was distracted from his question about Khan getting all wet by the augment’s words.  “You want me to meet them?” he asked, eyes bright and excited.  “You’re sure?  I wouldn’t want to do anything that might get you in wrong with them.  And I know I’m not exactly the best family material.  Or friend.  Maybe ally.”  He considered that as he dipped his head under the faucet to get all wet.

"Yes-" Khan answered, but did not elaborate while Jim was getting his head wet. But it was something he had been thinking and reflecting on for some time. "I would like you to meet my people, and I would like them to meet you." Within seconds, they would be able to sense that Kirk was different from the other humans, that there was something familiar about him, that Khan, their leader and patriarch had left his imprint on him. Though Khan might never address the full nature of his relationship with Jim, his people would at least know that Jim Kirk was one of them. Plus, they would be more likely to show favorable understanding towards Khan should he have solemn, reclusive days. His sadness would be interpreted as mourning one of their own, lost and separated from the rest of the family.

“You’re getting your clothes all wet,” Jim protested, as he emerged from under the spray and looked over his dripping lover.  “Noonien.”  He laughed and began to tug at the sopping tunic in protest.  “Take this off.”  

Even as he struggled to get Khan suitably disrobed for the shower, Jim said, “I’d like to meet them, very much, Khan.  To get a chance to look them all in the eye and learn all their names.  And then I’ll remember them when I visit...I have a good memory for names.”  He paused and looked at Khan from under wet hair and eyelashes.  “If you want me to visit.”

"I don't mind- this is your shower, it's not about me." Khan said as the fabric of his clothes began to stick to his body, leaving little to the imagination anyway. In that moment however, Khan did indeed look ridiculous; something like a wet cat that had been thrown into a pool of water. But since Jim wasn't going to leave the issue alone, Khan pulled off his shirt and let it drop to the shower floor in a wet heap.

"Yes Jim-" Khan said, voice soft, almost worried. "After your five year mission, I expect you to visit." If he was still alive in five years. If Khan and his people were at all still on his mind.

“Doofus,” Jim teased, not liking the sad note in Khan’s tone, “I don’t want you to get your clothes all wet and uncomfortable...and I plan to visit whenever I can.  You’re my only blood family, too, after all.”  He pushed Khan’s wet hair out of his face and kissed him again, before asking softly, “Help me get my back?  Please?”

"Here-" Khan closed his fingers into light fists and began to scrub his knuckles against Jim's back, massaging his muscles as well as cleaning his healing skin. Knowing the right amount of force to use, Khan worked his hands carefully up and down Jim's body. "Better?" He asked, hoping that Jim was starting to feel clean and better about himself again.

“Better,” Jim acknowledged and pressed into Khan a little more, allowing easier access to his back and also pressing himself closer to his lover.  He sighed in pleasure and said, “Okay, we can just stay like this until Bones comes back with lunch.”  His head found a nice spot on Khan’s shoulder and for a moment, he pretended to have fallen asleep.

"Yes, Jim." Khan said with a little smile, head bowed down enough so that his lips were pressed against Jim's bare shoulder. His hands continued to gently wash and scrub, touching and holding Jim at all times so that he never felt exposed in a vulnerable way. Watching out of the corner of his eyes, Khan smiled at the sight of Jim leaning against him like this. Breathing out his nose with a soft sigh, Khan nuzzled the side of Jim's face. _His Jim._

Jim smiled into Khan’s shoulder when his lover took him literally, but allowed himself the luxury of basking in the pleasure offered by his secure hold, his gentle hands.  It was addicting, and he had to shake himself a little to pull away, reluctant.  “Do you want to wash, too?  Now that you’re all wet.”  He grinned at the sight of Khan’s dripping hair, so unlike his neat coif usually.

"Yes, I might as well. And I do admit, I enjoy the luxury of water showers." Khan said, petting his hands down Jim's sides as he helped lean him back against the wall. Once he was certain that Jim would not be too wobbly without him, Khan made quick work of his pants and socks, kicking his wet clothing aside. Eyes closed, Khan faced the showerhead and let the water run through his hair and down his back. Reaching up, he began to wash his hair first, before giving the rest of himself a hard scrub.

Jim reached out and touched Khan wherever he was close enough- back, sides, the elegant curve of ass.  He could not get enough of his lover, even though he had just enough energy to keep himself standing.  “If I was well, this shower would be for much more than bathing,” he grumbled.  But he contented himself with the touches and watching his lover was a pleasure all it’s own.  “Let me look at you?” he asked.

Blinking the water from his eyes as he turned to face his lover, Khan nodded once, "I know, Jim." If Jim was healthy and emotionally able, the two men would likely be sharing a different sort of exchange in the shower. But Jim was not ready yet and Khan had no intention of pushing, when he was content with what they already had. "You look at me every day-" Khan said with a little purr, reaching out to put his hand on Jim's hip, keeping him steady. "Or is it that you prefer me in this state?"

“Well, I do like looking when there’s so much to see,” Jim teased and caressed the soft skin under his hands, before stepping back into him for the softest kiss.  “We should go before Bones comes looking for us. Are you cleaned and rinsed to your satisfaction?  Or do you need a little more time?”  He wondered if his friend had already come back and decided not to bother them. Whatever else Bones thought of their relationship, he gave his support through his actions.

"I am done, for now." Khan said, turning the water off with one hand. Grabbing a towel from one of the dispensing units in the wall, Khan began to help dry Jim off by hand, while a heated blower air dried their skin and hair. Once Jim was dry however, Khan wrapped the towel around his own hips and tied it off, covering himself until they returned to Jim's private room where he could find a spare set of clothes to change into. For now, he just had the clean tunic and pants for Jim on hand and began to help him dress once more.

“Okay, I want this shower for my quarters,” Jim said.  “The blow dry at the end is amazing.  Especially since it gives you bed head.  Makes you sexier than ever.”  He stretched a little and then groaned in a mixture of pain and pleasure.  “Fuck.  I can’t even imagine what it must have been like before modern medicine.  I think I would have died a few times over by now…”  He leaned into Khan as his new clothes were pulled on, moving as directed.  “Glad to have my tunic back.”  He brushed his fingers over the material that made him feel stronger than he really was.  “Lunch, then tour.”

Taking the time to straighten out every seam, Khan kept his hands on Jim until he was certain he looked properly for someone of his rank. He was Captain, and Khan's lover, both of which held status to the augment. "Yes. We'll have lunch-" Khan said, taking the time to comb his fingers through Jim's hair, brushing it back now that he was dressed. "Then get you out for a little bit." It would be good for Khan to get out too, but more importantly it would give Jim a chance to see his crew, and be seen by them in return. They could see that he was alive and well enough to visit, plus be reassured that he was still their Captain.

Jim accepted the fussing, which was totally what Khan was doing, quietly, enjoying the attention and feeling cared for.  It was still something he was getting used to, but Khan knew how to treat Jim so that he felt special, without making him self-conscious about it.  Maybe it was the matter-of-fact way his lover went about everything he did, never making a big deal over any of it.  Jim wished for that kind of poise and knew he would never equal it.  He pushed a little into Khan’s fingers and said, “Thank you, Noonien.”

As they entered the main room again, Jim grinned at the sight of two covered trays waiting for them.  “I hope the stuff that smells good is not just for you,” he said.

"I'll see that your tastes are satisfied, regardless." Khan assured, helping Jim back to the bed, seating him on the edge of it, with his legs hanging over the edge. "Alright?" Khan confirmed that Jim was comfortably seated for the time being before he stepped away. In one of the storage units built into the wall, Khan grabbed a generic Starfleet outfit that was kept on hand for long-term patients. Pulling the shirt on first, Khan covered himself without comment, before dropping the towel from his waist to pull on underwear and pants.

Jim watched the towel drop without any shame and then sighed as Khan redressed.  He eased around so that he could examine the covered tray of food left on the special table arm of his biobed.  “So, what are the odds that Bones bright me the good stuff?”  He lifted the lid off the tray and then beamed a little at finding a steaming bowl of soup.  “Aww, he did.”  

Sitting in the chair opposite Jim and his bed, Khan waited for Jim to claim his soup bowl before doing the same with his own. Brushing his spoon across the surface, Khan inspected the contents before he sampled a serving. With a silent nod of approval, Khan continued to drink down a few more before he reached for the container that kept his sandwich preserved. "Feeling somewhat better?" He asked, hoping the food and the shower and the drugs kicking in had helped ease Jim's pain.

“I do,” Jim said.  “Thank you.”  He carefully dug into his soup, forcing himself not to rush through it, as was his wont.  He knew his stomach was still somewhat iffy and this was a special treat from Bones.  “What sandwich did you get?”  He was somewhat jealous of Khan’s ability to eat nice, whole foods.

Khan grinned a little, unfolding his sandwich to show Jim as he explained. "This is a roasted eggplant, pepper, onion, hummus, avocado, and cheese sandwich ... he has made it for me before and I quite enjoy it." Refolding his sandwich, Khan set it back down on his plate. "If you think you can stomach a bite, you are welcome to it."

Jim stared at the inside of the sandwich and wrinkled his nose in distaste.  “Well, if you like it,” he said weakly and spooned in some more soup.  He had no idea how Khan could eat that mish mash of ingredients. "I'm not sure he makes then just for you, though," he said gently. 

With a slight shrug and seeing that Jim did not want a bite, Khan returned to eating his own meal. He had only mentioned it because he had felt he had been treated well since no longer permanently incarcerated. If he was mistaken and was not being treated any more special then anyone else, then he would retract the comment. But for now, he enjoyed eating well prepared foods. He knew it would be a different story once he and his people were settled. The food was bound to be different, even if it was to be fresh from the ground.

Silence always worried the ancy Jim, so he reached out to Khan and said, “I didn’t mean to offend you.”  He was never certain about his reading of his lover, even now, and wanted to make sure he hadn’t unintentionally wounded his feelings.  The augment was touchy in ways Jim didn’t really understand, but wanted to try.  

"I am not offended." Khan looked up when Jim reached out to him. "I simply wanted to make mention that your chef was doing well to please me ... but it is more likely my mistake, and that he is simply doing his job." Khan glanced to Jim's soup bowl, making sure he was making good work of his meal.

Jim sat up a little more, looked into Khan’s eyes and said, “A person can do both.  I think he goes the extra mile for everyone, and it’s nice that you’re included in that, too.  You’re being accepted as part of the team, not as someone unwelcome or completely separate.  That you were willing to risk your life to come after me…”  He sighed and pushed his spoon around his bowl in a random manner.  “I don’t think any life is worth more than anyone else’s, but I guess the captain is just a very visible life to save.”

It was interesting to see things through Kirk's eyes. Jim saw the good, Khan did not. Jim had made great efforts to make Khan feel included, but even with those efforts, Khan still felt separate. He could see and hear it in the other crewmen, just under the surface. They accepted Khan's presence at staff meetings or to help on projects because Jim wanted them to. They were doing it to please their Captain, and not because they actually wanted the augment around. That was the power Jim had, that was the love his crew had for their Captain.

"If it had been anyone else, one of your crew- I still would have taken the mission, had it been offered to me. Though, I would not have remained behind in the medical bay for their surgery or recovery. You are my family, Jim. If I could not save you, protect you, care for you ... then ..." Khan frowned, "Then it would be a very poor reflection upon me. Being leader does not mean I come first, generally it means just the opposite. My people come first. You come first. I think we share this in common, to some degree. You put the health and safety of your crew, first, by taking their place. I have done the same."

Khan chewed on his lips, resisting his anger before he elaborated. "Admiral Marcus wanted to wake up other members of my crew, since I was being ... disagreeable. But I was in no way prepared to let them be tortured and used as I had been. It took watching several of my people die in their cryotubes before Admiral Marcus was forced to acknowledge I would not help him revive the others. He would have to deal with me, alone. For a moment, we came to a stalemate. Seeing the value in a small army of augments, he was convinced he could still awake the others, without my help. He was wrong. So in the end he threatened me ... to keep trying, and failing to wake the others, unless I agreed to submit to his terms. And as you know, in the end I agreed."

Jim wanted to react all over the place as Khan spoke, but managed to hold his tongue, waiting for his lover to speak his piece.  And it was a lot to digest, the varying things Khan told him, open for Jim in a way he wasn’t for anyone else.  He allowed the moment a chance to settle and then spoke, “I just want to reiterate that in Marcus, you got the worst of us.  That fate put your crew and you in his hands was fucking cruel because I believe no human would have treated you any worse than he did.  And I can’t even verbalize how angry it makes me that you all were hurt that way, that some of your people died.”  He bit his lip for a moment, just wanting to let that sink in.

“But I don’t think it would have reflected badly on you, Khan.  You can’t always protect everyone....that’s one of the hardest lessons of leadership.  Sometimes, things go sideways, people die.  By your rules, I look pretty ugly indeed.  Not that I’m good with losing people.  You know I still have nightmares…”  He scowled and looked down at his soup, which was rapidly cooling now.  

After a few deep breaths, he lifted his eyes back to Khan.  “Maybe I am to blame for a lot of it...I know I made some stupid or rash choices, but I always believed I was doing the right thing.”  His hand trembled a little around the spoon, making it rattle against the porcelain bowl.

Without immediate comment, Khan reached out and took Jim by the wrist, encouraging him to let go of his spoon. Once done, he took his tray away and set it aside. In its place, Khan rested his head on Jim's thigh, guiding his trembling hand to his black hair, giving him something else to focus on and to do with his hands. Once settled like this, Khan finally spoke. "The worst in humanity tends to bring out the worst in me. And the good-" He smiled a little as he looked up at Jim, "is proving to have a good influence on me in turn." He said, keeping his response simple as he encouraged Jim to calm his destructive thoughts and pet Khan's hair.

Jim smiled a little wobbly at Khan and let himself such enjoy the sensation of carressing Khan’s hair and scalp.  “You’ve been good for me, too,” he admitted, “even though I don’t always understand you, and I know I make a lot of missteps when it comes to us.”  He sighed and threaded his fingers even deeper in the soft strands.  “I just want to do right by my crew, by your family and by you.  Sometimes, I think those things are incompatible.  Some of the crew will never forgive either of us for what happened with Marcus.  Most of them have left the Enterprise of their own volition by now, I think, but not all of them…  I want to do right by them, too, though, if I can.”

"It is a difficult balance, I agree. But you have managed it well, I believe." Khan shifted his head a little further against Jim's lap, eyelids lightly closing as Jim played with his hair. Though he knew his presence had complicated things and he was often difficult to handle, Khan did not apologize for it. "You have made the decisions that you felt were right for your people. As I have done for mine. The end result is not always ideal, but perfection is difficult to come by ... even for those of us who were engineered."

Jim couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped him at Khan’s words and lightly flicked his forehead, playful.  “Well, they certainly gave you enough ego to go around,” he teased lightly, before soothing the words with a tender massage to the back of Khan’s neck.  “I am certainly far from ideal or perfect, but I’ll keep muddling through and trying to do the right thing.  It’s the only way I know how, really.”  He smoothed over the curve of Khan’s head with the hand not on his neck.  “Guess we’ll see how it goes.”

"Yes, Captain." Khan said quietly. Lunch and their walk was all but forgotten now, as they seemed to mutually soothe one another. With a sigh, Khan purred softly, at ease with putting himself under Jim's hands. "Our union is important to me, Jim. But I also know things will be easier for you once I am gone and my people resettled. In the meantime ... I want you to know, I am very proud of our alliance ... and having you as my lover."

“Easier for me?” Jim asked, clear disbelief in his voice.  “Do you really think that?”  He cupped Khan’s face and urged him up to look into his eyes.  “It’s gonna suck.  I’m going to miss you every second.  It’ll make everything that much harder.”  He thumbed over Khan’s mouth.  “But you’re worth every second, Noonien.”

Lifting his head when urged, Khan looked up and kept his eyes steady upon his lover. Gently folding his arms over Jim's lap in place of laying his head there, Khan nuzzled the hand against the side of his face. "You will not have to play the role of peacemaker between myself and your crew. And once removed, my companions will no longer be viewed as a sleeping threat to the Enterprise. This is why I think it will be easier for you. As Captain. But as Jim ... my Jim, and your loving Noonien, yes, it will be difficult to bear."

“It’s not that hard anymore,” Jim said.  “It was at the beginning, when we all mistrusted each other, and I was afraid that you might try to free your crew and take over the Enterprise.  But it’s been a long time since I even thought about that.”  He smiled and shook his head a little, imagining himself at the start of their journey even thinking this might happen.  “And you’ve done most of the heavy lifting in helping the crew adapt and accept.  I’m just glad you have.”  He leaned in and urged Khan forward again, enough so that their mouths could touch lightly.  “Does anyone else call you Noonien?” he asked into their shared breaths.

Khan lifted his head further so that their lips could brush. "No, Jim." Khan answered, eyes down as they fixated on Jim's mouth in the way he did when pondering how he wanted to kiss him. "I am your Noonien. No one else calls me by this name." He said, then pressed for a kiss, sucking gently at his lips to draw the taste of his lover into his mouth.  

“Noonien,” Jim said, just to have the name between their lips again.  He tilted his head to allow the kiss to deepen and held Khan with whatever strength he could dredge up.  When their mouths finally parted, he asked, “Did you finish your lunch?  I didn’t mean to prevent you from eating.”  Even if this was much more fun.

"Hm." Khan grumbled, though it was a friendly response rather then an aggravated one. "You still need to finish." He corrected. The augment did not need to eat as often or as much, but did so in order to keep Jim company and to ensure he took the time to care for his body in this way. With a sigh, Khan sat back, arms finally falling away from Jim's lap as he reached for his lunch tray again. His companion looked a bit better and was no longer shaking, so he did not feel the need to smoother him so much. "Here- eat a bit more, and so will I."

Jim made a noise of discontent as Khan abandoned him, but picked up his spoon again.  He dug back into the now cool soup, determined to eat enough to satisfy both his lover and Bones.  He wanted to go for his hoverchair ride.  “Where shall we go on our walk?” he asked.  “Definitely not engineering, since Scotty will instantly want to play with the chair.  Last time he got near one of these, there ended up being a rather major incident.”

Watching Jim still make the effort to eat, Khan did the same. "Perhaps the onboard conservatory and ecology green-rooms." Khan suggested, feeling that the exact opposite of the otherwise cold and unwelcoming sterile medical bay might be a relief. It was something green. Something alive. Fresh. Growing. Warm. With some comforts of home, Earth, among those from many other planets.

Jim had noted that Khan seemed to like the botanical-centered room on the ship and hoped they could find Khan’s family a green planet.  “Did you ever grow any plants of your own?” he asked quietly.  “Even small ones for your personal rooms?”  He could imagine Khan keeping rare orchids or small roses, flowers with dignity and beauty alike.  He knew his lover would take good care of them, ensure that they prospered and provided his private rooms with color.  “I have a brown thumb,” he confessed.  “I would have been a terrible farmer.”

"For several years during my reign, I educated and showed my people how to develop sustainable food methods for their region. In a short period of time, it went a long way to solve the devastating hunger for those who lived in my territory. During those long journeys, the only personal items I kept with me were my horses. But when I was settled ... in the palace you have seen in pictures, we kept immaculate gardens ... but also a greenhouse I was fond of, which harbored a variety of plants from the regions I visited."

Jim sometimes wondered what it would have been like if he had met Khan when he was a high and mighty ruler.  The man spoke of those days with a strange longing and a slant toward the good he had tried to do his people.  Perhaps he truly believed himself to have been a benevolent ruler and in his own way, he may have been.  Certainly when compared to the other rulers of the time…  

“Well, you’ll have the tools to build some greenhouses wherever you settle,” Jim said, “so if there are any plants aboard you’d like to make sure you have a few specimens of, speak up now.  Sulu especially has some oddities and rare plants that he likes to share with all interested parties.”  He eased away the tray, since the bowl was now empty.  “And there are a couple of rather nice flowers that I think you should take with you.”

"I would like that very much." Khan admitted. Consolidating their dishes onto the tray, Khan set everything aside before returning to Jim. "So what are these flowers you think I should have?" He smiled, curious about what flowers Jim would associate with him and think best for him to take. Carefully lifting Jim from the bed, one arm under the back of his knees, the other around his back, Khan carried him out to the main medical unit to find him a hoverchair.

Bones appeared almost magically when Khan carried Jim out of his room and heaved a bit of an aggravated sigh, though he didn’t argue, but went to fetch a hoverchair.

“I think he’s warming to you,” Jim joked lightly and shifted to rest his head on Khan’s shoulder.  “There’s a plant called the yellow Mariposa lily, but the rarest versions of the flower turned a kind of lilac instead.  But they’re elegant either way and changeable, the way you are.”  

Bones interrupted by arriving with the chair and stood back to allow Khan to place Jim inside.  “Two hours, Jim, and don’t push me.  Your vitals are currently stable, but I saw that spike of pain.  Given your tolerance, that frankly worries me.  I’ll need to do a more detailed and private exam tonight, after you get back.”

“All right, Bones,” Jim said with a smile for his friend, excited just to be getting out and about.

Khan took the comment as the compliment it was intended. Rare. Exotic. Elegant. Changeable, in the sense that he was adaptable, not in the sense that he was fickle. "I am not familiar with this flower, but I would like to examine it further." Khan said, folding his hands politely behind his back once Jim was settled in the chair. Glancing to McCoy however, Khan wondered if the doctor was trying to exercise control over Kirk, or if his bedside manner really was just genuinely awful. Either way, he knew 'private exam' meant that he did not want Khan around for it. "At your leisure, Captain." Khan said, prepared to follow Jim at the speed he ran the hover chair controls at.

Jim powered the chair forward and frowned as it wasn’t exactly a speedy vehicle.  “Did you deliberately make this slower?” he asked Bones, over his shoulder.

His friend just smirked and waved him out the door, before suddenly frowning and calling, “Don’t you go to Scotty and have him play with it either!  You remember the-”

Jim grinned as the door shut on Bones’ warning and headed for the turbolift.  “You are going to be so bored having to pace yourself to this thing,” he said to Khan.  “I feel like the proverbial tortoise next to the hare.”

"Do not worry about me, Captain. I am patient." Deadly patient, but that was another matter. Khan allowed Jim to lead the way, though kept in stride close enough so that he did not have to crane his neck to see him. "Plus, I imagine if you had more power to the chair, we would just spend our time racing down long strips of corridor." He grinned.

“I have no idea why you would even think such a thing,” Jim said, faux indignant, even though he had imagined just that event.  He waited until they entered the lift and began heading for their destination, before he added, “It would have been fun, though.”  He shot a mischievous smile toward his lover and asked, “I don’t suppose you could help me modify it?”

"Of course I am able." Khan answered smoothly, eyes forward upon the doors. "The question is, if I get tossed into solitary for it ... will you come visit me." Khan turned his head and looked down at Jim, clearly willing and clearly prepared to enable this childish behavior, at least in this case.

Jim made a face and said, “You’re not going to do the actual work.  You’re just going to act as lookout and make sure I don’t hurt myself.  Besides, I’m not going to let you get tossed in the brig for helping me act more like...me.”  He lightly bumped a hand against Khan’s hip and then putted out of the lift as it finally opened.  “Seriously, this is just embarrassing.  We need a quiet place to work on this...”

"A cargo bay would give us time, privacy and room to work. And I say 'us' because I am not about to let you peel back the paneling, only to have the damn thing run you over." His tone was firm, but there was also affection in his voice. "Now then, is there a place suitable on this level?"

“Cargo Bay 6 is just down the hall,” Jim said and turned the chair in that direction.  He sighed as the chair basically crawled down the way, much slower than he remembered them being.  “I swear Bones has had somebody mess with this.  I only say somebody else because his engineering skills are something to be mocked.”  He managed the turn into the Cargo Bay and checked that it was empty, before turning to Khan.  “What do your enhanced senses say?  Are we alone, for our clandestine rendezvous?”

"My enhanced senses?" Khan raised an eyebrow at Jim, unsure of the joke, if it was directed at him, at his cost, or something else. With a breath, Khan however turned in place, looking around and listening carefully before he approved of the location. "We are alone." He confirmed, then squatted down closer to the hoverchair. "Don't you have a computer program that tells you if there are live signs in a room or not?"

“You’re more fun,” Jim said and began to ease himself out of the hoverchair.  “Besides, we’re supposed to be clandestine here.”  He bit back at grunt as he tested out his legs and then moved to kneel, slowly, by Khan.  “So, let’s see what we’ve got.  I wish I still carried my little kit of tools all the time...but I guess Bones would’ve taken them off me for surgery anyway.”

"How about I save you some effort-" Khan said, reaching for one of the sealed paneling and using the pads of his fingers, dug in around the edges. With the skill of any surgeon, Khan removed the paneling without the need of tools. "The rest I assume, you want only your fingerprints on?" He asked, glancing to Jim out of the corner of his eye, watching to ensure that he was indeed alright.

“Getting into mischief is my other middle name,” Jim quipped and leaned into Khan.  He rested against him and examined the insides of the hoverchair.  “Would you like to help me do this?” he asked, reaching inside to begin manipulating wires and circuits.  “I certainly don’t object to your help.  You just keep expressing doubts about ending up in the brig under lock and key.  I don’t want you to feel that I’m needlessly endangering you, even though I keep trying to tell you you won’t get locked away for something as silly as this.”

"I would like to share your confidence-" Khan said, even though he did begin to examine the wires, pushing aside the ones that directly affected the hover capabilities, not the speed. "-but it seems to me that Doctor McCoy would rather see us separated, then together. And going against his wishes is the fast track way for him to pull rank on you further." Khan was blunt about it, but that was the way he saw it.

“Aw man, don’t think so badly of Bones,” Jim said, easing himself even more into Khan and moving his hands away from the chair to rest on his lap.  He wanted to focus solely on his lover now.  “He’s not your enemy, honest.  He’s overprotective of me and his manner can be abrasive, but honestly, I think he’s of the opinion you’re good for me overall.”  He was a bit down at the mouth that Khan thought so badly of the person who’d gotten him out of so many scrapes and had pushed him to get through rough times at the Academy.

"Hm." Khan was not convinced. But McCoy was Jim's friend, so he would continue to attempt to be civil and refrain from voicing his objections. In the end however, Khan and McCoy did not see eye to eye, and would never be friends, despite their mutual fondness for Kirk. "Ah- here we are. Extra circuits have been added to unnecessarily drain power." Khan said, finding the main cause for Jim's slow-speed cruiser. "And this should be turned on-" He said, flicking another switch, talking Jim through it even though the man was more then capable himself.

“He did modify it!” Jim yelped.  “Bastard!  I bet he had this locked away, just waiting for me to need it.”  He scooted forward and began to make some additional adjustments, this time boosting power so that the hoverchair would go much faster than its original intent.  “You know what you said about racing up and down empty corridors?  That is so on…”  He winced a little as he managed to burn a fingertip and mumbled about not having his toolkit.  But in a moment, he sat back, satisfied that his hoverchair was now more like a hoverracer.

"Satisfied?" Khan asked as he picked up the panel cover to place it back on. "I mean ... any faster you might actually have a chance of winning ... but any faster, and your unit is more likely to put a hole in your hull too, and you with it." Khan said, having no doubt he would still win against the machine.

Jim laughed and allowed himself to slump on his butt on the floor, smiling at Khan.  “It’s all right not to win at everything, Noonien.  Even you can’t be that perfect.”  He reached for him, wanting  a hand up and a kiss, too.  

Khan briefly looked at Jim as if he had just said a dirty word. No, it wasn't alright. He was designed to excel. Turning on his heels, Khan leaned forward, guiding Jim's arms around his shoulders and neck as he lifted him up from the floor. Then a quick pivot before setting him back down in the modified chair. "Comfortable?"

“Hey!” Jim protested, having not even gotten in his kiss or a brief snuggle.  “Yes, I’m comfortable.  Shall we see what this baby can do?”  He was still amused by Khan’s grumpy response to being told he didn’t have to win all the time.  His lover was so inflexible about that, but Jim knew that Khan wouldn’t see anything weird in Jim not winning all the time.  He, after all, was only human.  “We can test the chair in here first!  See if I do run into things.  Nothing much here to damage.”

"Even so-" Khan folded his arms and stood back slightly to give Jim room. "Try not to run into anything. Or flip your chair. The response time for turning might be much more sensitive." It would require Jim to have a gentle hand with the controls, despite wanting to go fast. "I could arrange some of these containers into an obstacle course for you, if you like."

“I better see how I do first,” Jim said, exercising some caution for once.  Really, he just didn’t want to end up crashing right away and making an ass out of himself in front of Khan.  He eased the control forward and laughed as the chair literally jumped.  “This is going to be awesome!”  And then he zoomed the chair across the Cargo Bay, just managing to halt before slamming into the wall on the other side.  With a whoop of joy, he tried going backward and managed a pretty good clip (not necessarily in a straight line) all the way back to Khan.  “What do you think?” he asked the augment.

"I think you're going to kill me." Khan said with a smile, attempting to make a joke. Though he placed his hand on the back of the chair so that he could lean down, asking for a kiss. "But let's go- not waste any more time ... we've been given a curfew after all."

Jim happily wrapped both hands around Khan and indulged in a long kiss, one that curled his toes in his boots and made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and take notice.  “Wasting time sounds nice right now…”  He brushed their noses together and said, “All right.  Conservatory here we come.  I better not run down any of Sulu’s plants…”

Quietly, Khan hoped that Jim would become well enough and willing for more intense activities before Khan and his people were relocated. He wanted to hold and touch and kiss and make love to Jim without reservation. But for now, he was careful and gentle, and even accepted the possibility that Jim might never be ready to engage in what they had before. So in those moments when Jim proved willing and eager, Khan met him more then halfway, pleased to take and give back as well. Though as they broke the kiss, Khan simply gave a nod. So that the doors would respond, Khan stepped away first and headed out into the hall for Jim to follow.

Jim followed after Khan, getting used to the way the chair moved now that it was faster.  The turns definitely were trickier than before their alterations to the vehicle, but he managed to get the hang of them relatively quickly.  He was still humming all over from their kiss and hoped Khan felt the same.  Still, he knew it would be awhile before they could do anything besides kiss.   And that was a shame.

“I take it you’re keeping track of our time allowed,” Jim said with a grin, wondering if Khan knew the reference.  It was very obscure, so he wouldn’t be at all shocked if the other man had no idea what he was talking about.

Khan, who barely understood Jim's brand of humor continued to take everything that was said at face value. "Yes, of course." He answered. Though walked a little faster the more Jim caught up to him in the hover chair. "You're not anxious to get back, already, are you?" Khan scoffed, considering escaping form the medical bay was entirely his idea to begin with.

“Of course I’m not anxious to get back,” Jim said with a little huff.  “You’re the one who was hurrying us out of the Cargo Bay. I just want to make sure we’re not too late getting back.  And not be in charge of making sure we get back at all near on time.”  He eased the control forward and let himself shoot along the hall a little faster.  “Before we go back, we’re totally racing through the halls.  I’ll even let you beat me.”

"Before we go back, hm?" Khan shifted his gate from a fast walk to a slight jog. "What are we doing now? A warm up? Or-" Khan breathed out, happy to be moving and not standing still for hours on end. "... do you want to start from a stand still and properly race to an end point?" Clearly Khan was up for any of it, even if it meant just jogging around the corridors with Jim hovering along at his side.

“Both!” Jim exclaimed and put his chair just a little faster to let Khan truly move a bit.  The poor man had been inactive for days with Jim recovering, and he knew how ancy he got when confined.  “But not yet.  Now, we’re going to go see your plants.  I wouldn’t mind exploring the scent gardens, since I know they’ve finally put in all of the spices now.”

While his face appeared neutral and reserved as ever, Khan truly was happy to be running around. "Spices? That should be lovely." He hummed, jogging along with Jim, though pulled to the side and behind the hoverchair whenever a crewmen from the opposite direction needed to pass the two men otherwise monopolizing the corridor.

Jim waved as various crewmembers walked by with incredulous expressions that soon morphed into warm smiles when they saw it was their captain.  He greeted a few by name if there was time enough, before slowing down to enter the arboretum.  “Best be careful here,” he said to Khan with a grin.  “Yes, you can even eat them for me, since a lot of them I’m allergic to.”

"Hm- won't risk it ... we wouldn't be allowed to kiss after ... these allergies of your are quite unfortunate, Captain." Khan said with a little frown, back to walking calmly with his arms at his sides. But here his senses were soothed by natural things, instead of overly bright lights and cold metals throughout the rest of the ship. Here things were toned down in order for the plant life to thrive.

Jim brought his hoverchair to a halt beside the scent garden and then slowly began to climb out of it again, wanting to be able to explore the garden on his own.  It was not overly large, nor the walkways very wide, so he thought he could manage without too much stress.  His legs were still a bit wobbly, but he walked slowly to the first batch of bushes, determined to smell, if not touch.  “That’s a good point,” he said, as he examined the id tag on the first plant and smiled as he recognized something he was allowed to touch.  “I like kissing you too much to risk it, too.”

For now, Khan remained just behind Jim. Keeping just enough space between them so that Jim could feel like he was managing well enough on his own. Plus, it was good for him to work his joints and muscles in moderation. But even so, Khan was close at hand, prepared to catch or carry Jim within seconds of him being in distress. So together they walked, taking their time to examine the specimens, Khan sometimes letting his hand trail over the soft ferns or to take in the scent of a flowering bush.

Jim began to feel tired about the sages, so he carefully eased himself to the ground near a few of the most fragrant bushes.  “Need a minute,” he confessed to Khan.  “But you should keep looking and smelling around.  This really is my favorite part of the gardens.  The tasting garden would be even better...but I don’t like a lot of what I can eat.  They always grow the sour stuff…”

Instead of walking around on his own as directed, Khan sat down beside Jim. Knees partly drawn up, arms resting on top, Khan let their shoulders bump as a way to let Jim know it was alright if he leaned against him. "Imagine having a space station with a thriving ecosystem as its central oxygen provider." Khan suggested, thinking out loud the sort of things that crossed his mind.

“I think there’s at least one, but it’s all still experimental,” Jim mused with a frown, trying to remember where he’d read that.  “Really cool, though.”  He did lean against Khan with a little sigh, enjoying the closeness.  “You should choose some plants you want propagules of.  Some of these spices are pretty amazing.  And some of the fruits and vegetables, too.” With small, subtle movements, which he was sure Khan found amusing, he began to maneuver to lean even more against the other man, half-draped on his stronger lover.  “And we still need to see your mariposa lily.”

"I will. Thank you." Khan smiled the more Jim began to press in close to him. Kissing the top of his head, Khan wrapped an arm around his back, locking him in. "When you are ready. I am in no hurry." He confided. Even though he had been anxious to get out of the medical bay and move again, being motionless while surrounded by plant life brought comfort to the stillness.

“Yeah, I’d like to make sure we have time for the good stuff,” Jim said, “before I get myself locked up in Sickbay again.  And a private physical…”  He shuddered a little at the scolding he was sure to get during that, but then grinned at Khan, not wanting to get the augment worked up about Bones again.  “A little extra support, and I can keep walking awhile.”

Khan didn't like the idea of it either, despite Jim trying to smile and make light of it. "Anything you want, Jim." Khan said quietly. They had come far, the two of them. Being with Jim Kirk had helped Khan take a more gentle view of humanity. And acknowledged those few parts of humanity he carried within himself as well. As hardened and angry as Khan had been, Jim had managed to slip in through his defenses and cuddle up right next to him, providing him with a sense of peace and companionship. Possibly his first, real, friend.

Jim smiled and eased himself to his feet, waiting for Khan to join him.  “The Mariposa lilies are in a corner.  I’m not sure yet which of the botanists has a thing for them, but there’s about fifteen species hidden back here.  I think all of them are native to the area around San Francisco, so maybe it’s a way for someone to have a piece of home?”  He shrugged a little and moved carefully toward that area of the arboretum, allowing Khan to bear some of his weight.  “I know the one that reminds me of you is here.”  He stopped to look over all the colorful blooms, some hanging like tiny little yellow, white or pink fairy lanterns and others open-faced like small, multi-colored punchbowls.  “I’m not big on plants, but these are very lovely.”

"They have spectacularly detailed and delicate petals." Khan noted, observing the flowers for the first time. Some looked like a gathering of butterflies all folded together, while others tapered off to sharp points. His eyes shifted over the collection of flowers before them with a thoughtful nod. "And which of these reminds you, of me?" He asked, his hand moving to Jim's side, thumb petting over his hip.

“Calochortus superbus,” Jim said, “otherwise known as yellow mariposa lily.  But as you can see, this one is the rare, royal lilac.”  He gently touched said flower, which was one of the punchbowl variety, a delicate purple with a multi-colored middle and yellow spots.  “Looks like it has three little yellow eyes on the bottom,” he mused, “with like red fuzz.  But it’s gorgeous...like you.”

Strange. Rare. Gorgeous. Khan hummed, delighted with the compliment. Leaning forward, he examined the flower even closer, feeling like the yellow eyes were staring right back at him. "It is a lovely specimen, Jim. Thank you." Khan said, finally turning his attention back to his lower, nuzzling the side of his face and kissing his neck.

“We can ask if you might have some seeds, if you want,” Jim said and leaned even further into his lover, showing some obvious signs of fatigue now.  He let his head fall to the side to allow Khan to kiss and nuzzle everywhere.  “I’m sure that if we have extras, you’re welcome to some of them.  And other flowers, too, if you want.”  He glanced back at the hoverchair and confessed, “Think it’s time to get back in the chair.  I’ll feel up to some racing in a bit, but we can keep exploring the gardens first.”

"Any samples you are at liberty to part with, will be cared for and nourished, I promise you." Taking Jim into his arms, Khan returned him to the hoverchair with ease, making sure he was settled and comfortable before stepping back. Leading the way this time, Khan began to explore the tropical biome, slightly warming with a moist mist in the hair keeping the plants happy, completely unaware that they were in the cold of space, light-years away from their home planet.

Jim allowed the fresh air of the conservatories to wash over and through him, perking him up a bit as they toured the gardens.  “I’ve thought about us making love in the rose garden,” he confessed as they went by.  “There are some paths that basically lead to little cul-de-sacs of roses, with grass centers to sit or lay on.  I hope we still have time.  That’s one of those fantasies I’ve had.”  He smiled and made a little turn in the hoverchair to look at Khan.

"Out in the open, with the grass beneath us, hm?" Khan savored the image in his head, the light tickle of grass against their skin, the muffled moans so that none of the crewmen would be alerted to their actives. And Jim- Jim still wanting him. "I like your fantasies. You should tell me more of them." He encouraged, wanting Jim to feel comfortable talking about their sex life, even if it was to be a while before they engaged in one again.

“And the scent of the roses around us, and just the sensation of being outside, even if we’re really on the Enterprise,” Jim said.  “Also, the somewhat ‘dangerous’ aspect of potentially being caught, even if I can lock the whole place down and make sure nobody gets in.”  He chuckled a little and moved the hoverchair ahead again.  “Be a nice place for a picnic, too.  I’ve always wanted to go on one with an old-fashioned wicker basket stuffed full of unhealthy foods.”

"I'm sure that is something that could be arranged." Khan mused. In place of being able to wrap his arm around Jim however, Khan placed his hand on the back of the hoverchair, following by his side as they continued to navigate the gardens. "However, I am not interested in catering to voyeurs-" he had enough of that from being held behind artificial cages, "-so I would prefer your lock-down method ... still, it would be exciting to be out in the open. I quite like this idea."

JIm laughed and said, “I promised Bones no more public sex, so you’re safe.  I’ll have to make do with the false excitement of what might happen.  And you, of course, so that’ll be more than exciting and arousing enough.”  He could easily imagine Khan’s ire if he discovered someone watching them, and that was not a pleasant thought.  “Besides, it’s really the thought of being with you in such a lovely place that does it for me.”

Touching his fingers to the back of Jim's head, Khan lightly pet through his short hair with a little smile. "When you are ready, Jim. I would quite like to fulfill this fantasy of yourself." That, and anything else Jim might in his later years look back and remember fondly.

“We’ll make the time,” Jim said determinedly and paused his hoverchair, turning to smile at his lover.  “Any other areas of the gardens you’d like to see?  We could peek in on whatever Sulu is experimenting with right now.  I think Chekov said it was some rare orchids...or was that fungi?”  He frowned a little, but was totally just playing with Khan.  He knew Sulu was working on crossing some bryophytes, which fascinated Jim to no end.  “And then maybe we can sit under one of the redwoods for a little while, before we go racing?”

Khan shared the frown, but for different reasons. "I was not aware you had room enough to grow redwood trees." That was certainly something that would be hard to miss. Perhaps ... perhaps if a starship could support the needs of such a giant specimen, biome based eco ships really could be a possibility. Perhaps ... space travel wouldn't have to be so cold. There would be no need to be homesick for Earth, if they brought it with them out into space. Khan immediately began to process this information, reenvisioning the design of the Vengeance to support green space, to provide natural oxygen to the ship, and to enjoy natural biomes around every corner. That would make long term travel much more tolerable, and nothing at all likely the lonely sleeper ship of the Botany Bay. If only it had been an option, then.

Jim chuckled and said, “Sorry to disappoint, but we can only grow a couple of bonsai dawn redwoods here.  But they’re very pretty and have fairly large trunks.  Actually, the whole area is quite pleasant, with a collection of plants native to redwood forests make a small forest environment.  A couple of the biologists are talking about putting in an aviary, though they haven’t made a formal request yet.  I think they want to collect a few specimens on our trip.”  He smiled a little brighter, thinking of the diverse crew of amazing people on his Gray Lady.

"Ah, I see." But the idea was now firmly planted in his head nevertheless. And much like his passion for designing the Vengeance, this idea would not let up until he saw it through. "It is quite a treat, even so." Khan kept by Jim's side as they headed through some of the dryer environments, the pathway narrowing, then letting up to a wide space as they entered into a transition section between the artificial biomes.

Jim led them cautiously into Sulu’s play area and stopped a foot or so away from his workbench, not wanting to bump anything.  “What has he got up there right now?” he asked Khan, craning his neck a little to see.  “Is it the bryophytes?  We may have to steal a few if it is.  I love those things and can actually keep them alive.”  He smiled hopefully at Khan and then eased his chair open to climb out a bit shakily again, deciding to see for himself.

Not wishing to interfere with Jim's sense of strength and independence, Khan allowed him to get out of his chair unaided. Though he watched him carefully for signs of faltering, he waited for Jim to stand before reaching up to tilt one of the samples towards Jim so that he could better see. In several dinner plate sized displays were soft, dense mosses, some dark green, others slightly grey with mushrooms or other small spores. One even was growing into some sort of natural half sphere that made it look like a small green pillow. "I get the impression you would do well with small, self contained terrariums." As that would not require that Jim took care of it, just enjoy it as is, as it took care of itself.

Jim laughed softly and moved to lean into Khan, resting his head against Khan’s in a full show of relaxed trust.  “I probably could handle that, yeah.  But I should ask Sulu about it before I take one.  Maybe you could design one for me.”  He smiled at Khan and asked, “Do you want to go racing now?  I think I’m going to pass out if we sit down and miss out on getting to use my hoverchair the way we designed it to work.”  He sighed and pressed a kiss to Khan’s neck, admitting, “I hate not being well.”

Khan nodded with a soft smile, "Yes, you can have your race. Then we will go back, so that you may rest again." He turned to face Jim and cupped his hand around the back of the neck. He shared a long, thoughtful look with him. He was impressed by much of what humans pushed to achieve with their short, fragile lives. Khan was pleased that he could be a part of these small pleasures. It would not be the same without him. Kissing the side of his face, Khan let go so that Jim could settle back into his chair. "Now then, for what landmark should we aim?"

Jim considered this as he eased himself back into the hoverchair and shut the door again.  “What an interesting question...you know, there’s a small, nearly-empty, well, you’d almost have to call it a storage closet, down at the opposite end of the corridor just above us.  That whole area shouldn’t be too busy right now.  First one there gets to decide if we use the closet for a few moments of illicit snogging.”  He grinned cheekily and cheerfully at Khan.

"Very well." Khan smirked. "Though the answer very well may be the same, either way." He kept close to Jim as they headed out, carefully maneuvering between the plant specimens that they had just passed, doing their best to survive far from home. Khan was patient as they made their way back to the main hallway, though under the surface was very eager to move and run and be active again. He felt for once, he was ready to play.

Jim felt similarly, even though he would have to cheat by using the chair.  Not that he could have kept up with Khan on his own two feet anyway.  He just hoped the souped up chair might keep him in the chase.  He had learned by now how to maneuver the delicately balanced chair’s controls, so he skillfully navigated the maze of plants to the hall and then into the turbolift.  “We’ll line up in the hallway just outside the turbolift a floor up and then on the count of three, we’ll take off.  First one to the small closet wins!”  He exited as the doors opened and took his position.  “Ready?  One!  Two!  GO!”  He pushed the controls forward and shot off like a rocket down the hall.

A brightness was in Khan's eyes as he watched Jim count them down. With a hand against the wall, Khan held himself back until Jim gave them permission to race. As the hoverchair took off, so did Khan, running swiftly down the first stretch of hallway, keeping close to the wall so that they both had room to maneuver.

And for a moment Khan laughed with delight, pleased with this pointless game. He smiled at Jim as they raced around a long bend in the hallway. Though that fun and sense of play was shortlived. Without warning, Khan found himself thrown to the floor after harshly impacting another being. The joy was gone. Fingers curling into fists, Khan pushed himself up off the floor, one hand reaching out to the wall to steady himself as he looked up bitterly. Only to see Commander Spock on all fours in front of him, heaving slightly in attempts to catch his breath.

Jim brought his hoverchair to an instant stop, though it made his head spin, as Khan and Spock suddenly, violently collided.  “Khan!  Spock!  Are you all right?”  He turned the chair around and eased it over to the two men.  “I’m so sorry.  I didn’t think there would be anyone on this level right now.”

Spock climbed back to his feet and straightened his tunic, face expressionless, even as he put himself to rights.  “Indeed, Captain, so I have learned.”  He glanced again at Khan.  “I hope, Mr. Singh, that you were not injured in the collision.  I seem to have suffered no ill effects.  I was absorbed in a problem of logic and did not move enough to avoid you both.  Though, I can see no logical reason why you are both racing through the corridors at such speed.  Nor, Captain, do I imagine Dr. McCoy would be pleased by it.”

Khan stood slowly, straightening himself as well, almost mirroring Spock in his movements. "I am unharmed." He answered, though his nerves were on edge, as if the impact had been a call for him to fight. Khan however observed Spock critically, even though he had no reason to lie about the state of his health or wellbeing. It was simply a habit to the augment, and he found himself somewhat impressed by the Vulcan, once more able to take a hit from him, which was no easy things to endure. It reminded Khan of that day, when the Vulcan managed to chase him down and their fierce fight. Yes, the Vulcan could certainly take a hit. Khan backed down finally, fingers and nerves unclenching as he took a step back, resuming his position at Kirk's side.

Jim reached out for Khan instinctively, sensing that the augment had been disquieted by the whole encounter.  Surely, in every other case before, such a blow must have always preceded a fight, or at least an unpleasant altercation.  “You won’t tell on us, will you, Spock?” he asked his Vulcan friend with big eyes.  “I needed to get out of Sickbay and in this hoverchair, I’m not in any danger.”

Spock’s eyebrow rose instantly, but he said, “I am gratified, Captain, to see that you are somewhat recovered from your injuries, but I cannot keep from Dr. McCoy anything that might endanger your health.”

Glancing down as Jim reached out to him, Khan acknowledged the gesture with a nod. Khan had made a point to keep the peace between himself as the crew of the Enterprise, specially Kirk's officers, who Khan had regular contact with. Still, Khan made a point to stand down, he did not want Jim to fear he would fight, even if it was his instinct to do so.

Listening to the two men exchange words, Khan watched Jim attempt to use the sort of maneuvers that generally work on McCoy, utterly fail on Spock. Surely Jim knew this about his friend and first officer, and yet he tried it nevertheless. He wondered if that was why Jim tried certain things with him, in hopes that one day he would respond to it. It seemed like a poor strategy overall, but Jim was generally stubborn and clearly had the ability to wear people down in time. And instead of taking insult to this, Khan was silently amused that he had succumbed to this influence.

"We will be reporting back to Doctor McCoy in the medical bay in less then ten minutes time, Commander Spock. If that helps reserve your silence on the subject." Khan suggested, wanting Spock to know his position was valid, but also for Jim to get his way.

“Besides, I’m doing fine,” Jim told Spock with a grin.  “And Khan makes sure I don’t push myself too hard.  C’mon, Spock, be a pal.”

Spock’s face didn’t change, though there may have been amusement in the corners of his mouth, if you knew what to look for.  “Captain, I will not, as the expression you taught me goes, throw you under the bus.  If Dr. McCoy asks where you are, however, I will not lie.”

Jim’s face broke into a broad grin.  “In that case, it was good to see you, Spock.  Take care of my ship until I’m back in the chair!”  He whirled the hoverchair around and sped off, trusting Khan to follow.

With one last look, Khan turned his back on the Vulcan and followed after Jim at a normal pace. Only after a few strides did Khan appear to take a breath again. "You have won, Captain." Khan conceded, believing that the collision with Commander Spock had been a sign of Jim automatically winning their race.

Jim looked up at Khan and then chuckled softly, shaking his head.  “I think that one was an automatic disqualification for track interference.”  He paused and smiled sweetly at Khan.  “Still, if you want to be nice about it, you could give me at least one of the kisses I was hoping to get.”

"Hm." Khan pretended to consider, glancing down the hall where they had parted company with Spock, who was now out of sight. Feeling it was private enough, Khan bowed himself down, tone gentle as he brushed their lips together with a whisper, "Yes, Jim." The kiss was polite, asking for Jim to open his mouth to him, tongue encouraging as he groaned softly, kissing Jim as deeply as he would allow.

Jim reached up to frame Khan’s face with his hands and answered the kiss equally.  He allowed that skilled tongue entry and did his best to make it welcome.  He groaned quietly in the back of his throat and pulled back to catch his breath.  “Noonien,” he whispered.  “I hate that some of our time was stolen by this.  I want so much just to spend time with you right now.”

Surrendering with a little purr as Jim touched the side of his face, Khan closed his eyes lightly, blocking out everything that wasn't Jim's voice or touch or breath. "I am with you, Jim." Khan answered, blue eyes locking on his lover. Though Doctor McCoy intended to examine Kirk privately and exclude Khan for a while, the augment still had every intention of being there for Jim once they were allowed to be together again. To spend these days together until Kirk resumed his responsibilities as Captain, and even then, remain his companion until the day they part.

“Yeah, but it’s hard to be so close and not be close enough,” Jim said softly, stroking the soft hair on Khan’s head and wishing it were just a little longer.  “And that’s not just because I’m naturally hot-blooded, even though I am.” He grinned at the admission and then sobered again.  “I feel closer to you than anyone else, and I hate missing out on everything we could have enjoyed together.  Especially since everything is so much better with you.”  He held Khan’s eyes throughout the whole statement, unashamed of the truth of it all.

It was quite the confession and Khan was genuinely touched by it. "We are a good match." Khan agreed. In both hot and cold temperaments, they shifted naturally along with the other, constantly balancing one another out. "I will not find a better partner then I have with you." His heart was closed off to others in this way, he would not love another in the same way he loved Jim Kirk. Closing his eyes, Khan, too, wished they could have more dinners together, explore more planets and cultures together, talk and learn to play, but the truth of it was, their time together was dwindling down, not expanding. Soon Khan and his people would be resettled, and the two men would be divided by space and time, for many years.

“Who would have guessed on first meetings?” Jim asked, trying to lighten the mood a little.  “But you’re totally right.  And yes, I know, you’re always right.”  He grinned again for his lover and tugged him into another kiss, taking a bit more time to express his feelings for Khan.  Besides, it made Jim’s head spin in the very best of ways.  

Khan purred at the stroke to his ego at being told he was right. But even more pleased then that, he was happy to kiss Jim all over again. "Jim-" He mumbled between this lips, a conversation neither of them seemed ready to have, just on the tip of his lips. So he silenced himself with another kiss, showing his affection for Jim while they still had a few minutes of privacy left, before it was time to turn Jim over to Doctor McCoy for an in-depth evaluation.

“Time to be good and go back without being told to,” Jim said reluctantly.  He turned the chair toward the nearest turbolift and headed much more sedately in that direction.  “Don’t think I didn’t notice how much fun you were having before we literally ran into Spock.  We’re going to be doing this again, and next time, we’ll make sure the way is clear.”

"Clear a deck for our race?" Khan smirked, hands folded lightly behind his back as he followed after Jim. "Well, you are the Captain, Captain." Khan had in fact begun to enjoy himself before colliding with the first officer, so he was not opposed to trying something similar to it again. "I welcome another chance at ... our game." Something foolish, childish, and entirely without purpose other then to have fun. A concept he was slowly coming to understand.

“That’s not the only game in town, either,” Jim said, as the turbolift headed back to Sickbay.  “You need to keep active anyway, when we’re not actively exploring anything.”  The doors opened, and he pushed the chair onward, making sure to keep it in the normal range of speed.  “And I want to try out a few more things with this hoverchair.”

"Yes Jim, when you are ready." Khan answered, eager to be active and get back into a normal routine again, though did not show this outwardly as he did not want Jim to feel guilt for slowing him down, since he was already sensitive to this issue. In the meantime, Khan was willing to engage Jim privately and with their games with reservation and patience.

They entered Sickbay, and Dr. McCoy met them at the door, looking over Jim carefully for any signs of wear.  “Thank you for getting back on time for once,” he said, sincerely.  “Now, let me get your check-up out of the way so you can get some more rest.  I know you’re feeling it now, so don’t pretend.”

"Captain." Khan inclined his head slightly as he stood his ground. Doctor McCoy would get the private examination he wanted, without Khan being present to interfere or get angry about how Kirk was being handled. "I shall remain here, until you are ready for my company again." He sighed slightly frustrated, even though he understood that it was important to give Doctor McCoy confidential access to the Captain. It was his body, and his business, regardless of how strongly Khan felt about his young lover.

Jim sighed and waved at Khan as he whisked the chair toward his room, a little too fast.

“Damn it, Jim, did you make the chair faster?” Bones demanded as he strode after him, irritation in his form and face.  “Why can’t you just leave things well enough alone and not have to-”  His words were cut off by the door shutting behind him.


	16. Together

Jim set aside his polished off dish of mousse and made a satisfied noise, grinning across the small table at Khan.  “The best thing about being better is no more Sickbay food.  No, wait, that one may have to go under being back on duty...and it’s definitely below spending time with you and not being in danger of passing out, but it’s definitely up there in good things.”  His face bore every mark of contented happiness, all of the ill physical effects of his torture eased away by time and care.  

He had been back to work for two days now, even though Spock and Bones were keeping a watchful eye on him and curbing some of his duties.  Still, he felt completely himself again, and it showed in his movements and demeanor.  “And how was your day, dear?” he asked, lightly teasing his lover.  He planned to do more than tease him tonight.

Khan tilted his head, but did not question the new term of endearment. "I spent my morning in engineering with Mr. Scott, who I have found to be quite talkative. Which I have taken to be a sign he has grown comfortable with my presence." Khan answered as he sat back in his chair, hands in his lap. Jim had begun to look better in this last week, as a certain brightness to his eyes and his tone had clearly returned to him. It was good to see again. As too it was good to slip back into familiar routines.

“Yeah, he sent up a report this morning just full of all the different upgrades the two of you are working on right now,” Jim said with a grin.  “This ship’ll be completely different going in then she was going out at this rate.  Scotty practically oozes excitement.”  He chuckled lightly and added, “Spock hates reading his reports.  They’re not sufficiently technically focused.”

He deliberately looked up at Khan from under his lashes and said, “I’m rather hoping that wasn’t my only dessert tonight.”  And yeah, that’s a terrible line, but he wanted to keep it light for Khan.

"Mr. Scott has very creative vision." Khan said, the comment reflecting his respect for the work from the formerly outcast engineer. Though as Jim began to flirt, Khan initially misunderstood the meaning, as it had been some time since Jim was in this sort of mood. "Oh?" He prompted simply, looking to Jim's empty bowl, "What else do you care for?"

Jim bit back a chuckle at Khan’s interpretation and said simply, “You, Noonien,” in a voice only his lover could hear.  “I miss being intimate with you.”  He knew his lover did not like to talk about these kinds of things in public, so continued to keep his voice pitched only for Khan’s ears.  “I’m well now.  Complete bill of health from Bones.  Back on the job.  And I’d like to celebrate that ... with you.”  He gently rubbed his right foot over Khan’s left calf, invitation in his eyes.

 _Oh_. Khan blinked once, then focused on Jim's softly spoken words. _Oh_. Looking across the small table, Khan kept his gaze as Jim teased him, out of view. "I will happily celebrate with you, Jim- if you are certain." In his mind, it wasn't a matter of what Doctor McCoy said, but rather what Jim felt ready for; when and where and how much. Even though Khan too had missed being intimate with his lover, he had not pushed the subject. "What do you have in mind?"

“Shall we adjourn to my quarters and talk it over?” Jim asked.  “Or I can just demonstrate once we get there.”  His smile widened, turned a little less sexy and a little more playful.  “You know I like the hands-on approach.”  He stood and carried his tray away to dispose of and then headed for the door, trusting Khan to be after him.

Wanting very much to touch Jim and be close with him again, Khan shadowed Kirk out of the cafeteria. And while his conversation was reserved on their walk back to Jim's quarters, Khan was very clearly attentive. He stood a little closer in the lift, and even gently placed his hand on the small of Jim's back when it was just the two of them.

Jim loved the attention, the way Khan focused just on him and showed his devotion with a gentle touch and warm look.  He leaned into the augment a little when they were alone and then took his hand to lead him out of the turbolift and to his quarters.  As soon as the door shut and locked behind them, he turned and pressed into Khan’s arms, seeking as much contact as possible.  “Hello, love,” he said and kissed him tenderly.  “I’ve missed this, being strong and well in your arms.  I want to celebrate being well, Noonien.  I want to feel you all over me, skin to skin.”  He threaded their fingers.  “I need you.” 

"Yes, Jim." Khan said with a little purr, kissing against the side of his neck, where he took in deep, pleasant breaths. "Tell me what you need." He said, very willing and wanting to make Jim happy. Though he was also looking for direction, as he did not slip his hands under Jim's shirt or seek out skin on his own as he might have done before. He waited for Jim to express his desires.

“Slow.  Gentle.  Tender.”  Jim tilted his head to let Khan scent him, knowing his lover liked the way he smelled of family.  “I want to put myself in your hands and know you’ll never hurt me, that I’ll feel nothing but pleasure.  I need to someone to touch me that way again, Noonien.  And you’re the best person for that I know.  You’re so much stronger than I am, but so careful ... loving.”  He nuzzled into Khan’s cheek and nibbled lightly.

With a slight nod, Khan indicated that he understood what Jim was looking for. To feel good. To feel safe. To be able to trust someone as powerful as Khan, not to abuse that power to hurt him. Stooping down slightly, Khan picked Jim up in his arms. Jim didn't need to be carried around any more, but Khan did it anyway, footsteps soft against the floor until he reached Jim's bed where he set him down on the edge.

Then kneeling down in front of his lover, Khan rested his hands on Jim's thighs as he looked up at him, attentive and eager to please. "May I relieve you of your uniform, Jim?"

Jim held on to Khan as he was carried into the bedroom, smiling a little at the tenderness in the action.  He nodded and said, “I’d like that, Noonien,” before lifting his arms to facilitate the removal.  He didn’t want to be presumptuous though, so he asked, “Shall I help or just let you?”  He would put himself completely in Khan’s hands, leaving the decisions up to him for the moment.

"Allow me ..." Khan said softly as he peeled Jim's shirt off his torso. "I want you to feel well treated." He said, taking care around his wrists so that he was not restrained or constricted. Though with his chest now bared, Khan leaned forward and pressed his lips to Jim's collarbone, nuzzling with a purr down the front of his chest.

Jim wound his arms around Khan, holding him close, but loose.  He wanted to feel his lover near him, warm skin and gentle touches.  “I’d like that,” he said.  “I’d like that very much.”  He knew he was safe with Khan, even as the man tenderly explored his chest and down toward his abdomen.  He remembered other touches in the same places, unkind ones with lashes and probes and knives, all healed but for the memory.  And now, Khan made new memories to replace the unpleasant ones.  “Noonien.”

"Yes Jim ..." He said, lifting his head to make eye contact. "Your Noonien ... your loving Noonien." If Jim needed to remind himself who he was with, all the better, as Khan enjoyed hearing Jim speak his name. Pressing his face in again, Khan brushed his nose across warm skin, humming pleasantly to himself before he began to kiss the skin before him again. His mouth was gentle, lips barely parted as he left his warm breath against Jim's body. Building up to it, Khan eventually let his tongue slip out in places, licking against faded scars and sharp corners of bone or muscle.

Jim shivered at the first touch of tongue to his scars and threaded his fingers into Khan’s hair.  “That feels good,” he said encouragingly.  “Like touching should feel.”  He wanted to emphasize that for his lover, suspecting Khan might be somewhat wary and cautious in their lovemaking.  “I know you are my loving Noonien.  I can never forget that.”  His own hands focused on caressing Khan’s soft hair and the curve of his face, where it was not pressed into his skin.  “I want you, Noonien.”

"Yes Jim-" Khan purred, head bowed down, forehead pressed to his chest and eyes lightly closed. Khan was perhaps being overly cautious, but he did not want to risk triggering a single moment of unpleasantness. He sighed deeply, relaxing a bit himself as Jim twisted his fingers in his hair, or scratched along the hairline at the back of his neck.

Steadily, his hands began to slide over the hem of Jim's pants, thumbing along the edge until he unfastened them and began to push them off his hips. "Yes?" He prompted, mumbling against Jim's hip, kissing it as it became exposed. "How?"

“I need to see you, Noonien,” Jim said and helped kick off his pants.  “I need to look into your eyes and see how you feel.  Is that alright?”  He wanted his lover to continue to ease, as he had felt under his hands.  “If there’s a different way you want to try…”  

"Anything you want, Jim ..." Khan said, lifting his gaze, using his words now and not just his actions to show his willing submission. "May I take you into my mouth?" He asked, head tilted to the side as he rubbed the flat of his hands up and down his thighs, coercing them to part. "You will have a good view of me-" He attempted with a little smile.

Jim made an excited noise that he tried to hush from becoming too embarrassing and parted his legs eagerly for his lover.  “I would very much like that,” he said in a rush.  “You always look so good, but seldom more than when you’re being good to me, Noonien.  Or when I am being good for you.”  He laughed softly at his own foolishness and stroked his hair.  “Take your time?”

Khan arched his neck, kissing Jim once on the lips, just for a little taste to start him off. "Correct me if I do this improperly." He said simply, not generally the one in this position. But without hesitation, Khan settled down on the back of his heels and dropped his head between Jim's parted thighs. He nuzzled the inside of his legs with the side of his head and lips, nosing his way closer to get Jim's cock to sit up, before his lips parted and he began to lick along the length of his shaft, taking his time with Jim.

“No way you’ll do it wrong,” Jim moaned, even as Khan began to demonstrate his skills.  He wanted to let his head roll back with pleasure, but at the same time, he wanted to watch every moment.  “I like the build-up.”  He raised his hips a little in invitation to explore even more.  “Please.  Touch whatever and wherever and however you want.  I trust you, Noonien.”  His fingers trailed tenderly through his hair, scratching at his scalp.

The constant touch that Jim offered was a comfort, as it kept a connection between them which allowed Khan certain reassurance that Jim was happy with him. Though he had no reason for concern, as his mouth was magnificent, tonguing muscle slowly and lapping against the salt of his skin. Groaning lowly, Khan buried his face against Jim's lap, enjoying the scent of him, licking and sucking at the base of his shaft. Lifting his gaze however, Khan carefully pulled his head back just enough so that he could take the tip of Jim against his tongue and into his mouth, slowly sucking as he took him to the back of his throat.

Jim had been about to assure Khan that he didn’t need to actually give him a blowjob, when the augment surprised him once again.  Of course, his lover would not only choose to try, but would go all the way.  He feared he might not be able to hold out for more than a brief moment, so stunned and overwhelmed was he by the sight and feel of Khan.  He groaned low in his throat in delight and murmured, “Noonien.  How do you always manage to take me off guard? Fuck, of course you’re as good at this as everything.”  He breathed deeply a few times, trying to get hold of himself and says, “I may not last long, love.”

Khan looked quite pleased with the comment, grinning even with his mouth full. His tongue continued to work against the underside of his shaft, soothing and coaxing, completely unhurried as he savored his lover's taste. Though eventually he pulled his mouth off so that he could speak. With a soft purr, Khan kissed the inside of Jim's leg, letting his wet and swollen cock brush against the side of his jaw. "I want you to feel good, Jim." He said between kisses to his parted legs. "If that means you orgasm now- and as many more time as I can help you manage it ... I want to ... or if it means you rather prolong the experience, I will tease and build you up for as long as you want before release ... anything you want Jim ... you need only say." Khan looked up at him again, leaning slightly into the hand against his scalp, wishing Jim to feel like he had control and power and say-so over his own body once more.

Jim cupped his face and leaned down to kiss his forehead softly.  “I want to prolong it, Noonien.  Come up here and share more with me?  I want to be held and have you close.”  He swallowed and looked at his lover so delightfully presented between his legs.  “Unless you want to make me finish that way.  It certainly was a pleasant experience, and I don’t mind having it continued.  But I’ll never manage more than a few minutes.  You’re too fucking good, which is just unfair, since I know you’re just a natural.”  He lightly touched Khan’s lips with an index finger and traced over the length, licking his own mouth in response.  “Fuck, I don’t know what I want.  You make my head spin.”

Khan kissed the tip of his finger with a knowing smile. "Ah, Jim ..." He answered, hands sliding up Jim's thighs as he sat up, then crawled up onto the bed, while pushing Jim back at the same time to make room for him. "I will take my time with you then." He said, placing a firm hand on the center of Jim's chest so that he was forced to lay back while Khan began to position himself over his beloved. No longer showing submission as he had attempted before, Khan easily slipped back into his usual role, confident and strong and not at all shy. "We will prolong your release, until you are ready for it ... or until I cannot wait any longer and I need to hear you lose your voice as you cry out-" Khan said, licking his lips, nearly able to taste that delightful experience.

Settling himself over Jim, kissing the side of his neck and shoulder, Khan let one hand linger between Jim's thighs, palming the underside of his shaft and massaging his balls with care. "For now, I will hold you in my arms, Jim ... feel you rub yourself against me ... experiment with what your body needs right now, and I will give it to you."

Jim scooted back on the bed and smiled up at Khan, feeling safe and not at all endangered by his stronger lover.  Despite Khan’s full dress, he reached up to trace over the lines of his body: neck, chest, sides, hips, back and ass.  His fingers lingered over places that seemed to give Khan the most pleasure, face a mixture of wonderment and delight at being allowed to touch this beautiful man.  “I’d like to press against you ... skin to skin,” he said, shivering at the hand pressing so knowingly against his sensitive sack.  “Will you undress for me?  You’re so sexy and beautiful.  I’d like to see you and feel you.”  He ran a finger lightly over Khan’s right cheek and leaned up to kiss the skin he could reach.  

The trust in his lover shown from his eyes, not a trace of the fear that might have been there after his experiences.  But Jim was no stranger to such treatment and knew the difference between his lover and the people who had hurt him.  Besides, this moment was not the same in any particular to his tortures.  “Noonien?” he whispered.

It was always somewhat amusing to Khan to hear that he was beautiful or handsome. It was a part of his engineering that served no purpose, other than to be aesthetically pleasing. Jim Kirk at least had the compilation of randomized genetics to thank, a process, thousands and millions of years in the making that all came together to form his pleasing features. That seemed much more impressive to Khan. And in a way, quietly in the back of his mind, Khan was looking forward to his people coupling up to create a little chaos in their engineering, a little randomized genetics in their offspring.

"Yes, Jim." Khan said before he kissed back, pressing a few soft and lingering brushes between their lips. Then sitting back, so that his knees were on the edge of the bed as he faced Jim, allowing himself to be on display so that his lover could watch him, Khan began to undress. First was his shirt, which clung to his body so well, it left little to the imagination anyway. Peeling it off his torso and discarding it to the floor behind him, Khan took an exaggerated breath to fill his lungs and expand his chest. Then glancing down, Khan began to undo his pants, standing briefly to push them off his hips and down his thighs before he stepped out of them and returned to kneeling on the edge of the bed. Lingering like this, with his hands on the top of his thighs, naked and on display, Khan allowed his lover to look at him like this, completely open and bare, without anything hidden between them. In a way, Khan was showing Jim what he was, not that Jim needed reminding. He knew who he was dealing with. But for Khan it was a way to be honest, to show that he was muscle and strength, programming and strategy ... all of which could be silenced and tamed into being gentle and affectionate for the man he loved.

Jim watched the whole time with avidness and then shifted to sit up, reaching for his lover.  “Don’t need to puff out your chest to show off,” he teased lightly, retracing a path over now bare skin. “You’re built like the hero idol you were meant to be.  Only maybe without the excessive brawn of a Hercules.”  He moved to kneel in front of Khan, arms twining around his neck now.  He did understand the great privilege of being someone for whom Khan tempered his cunning and strength, even as he rested his head on Khan’s shoulder.  “Hmm, this feels nice, too.”  His body, keyed up and primed as it had been a few moments ago, cooled into something warm and content in the basking against his lover.  But he still did want and need.  “Show me?” he asked.

Encouraging Jim to rest against him like this, Khan cupped the back of his head with his hand, fingers soothingly pressing against his scalp. "Now, will you follow my direction?" Khan proposed, his other hand stroking the length of his back, down his spine with light fingertips. "I will show you that things can be good again." Dropping his head down, Khan kissed Jim on his exposed shoulder, then up the side of his neck.

“They were never bad with you,” Jim murmured, eyes a little bright with mischief.  Still, he relaxed completely into Khan’s arms, a silent promise to try and be good about letting Khan lead him.  He sighed as soft lips brushed over shoulder and neck.  They were fleeting glances, there and gone, which made Jim ache for more.  His body instinctively hooked closer to Khan, pressing them intimately from chest to knees.  His eyes fluttered closed on the warm wave of pleasure that caused him.  “Mm’kay now.”

"Now?" Khan prompted with a slight frown. "Were you not alright, just now?" Had he missed a trigger, that Jim was somehow hiding from him? The idea unsettled him, leaving him even more nervous about how he handled Jim. His touches along his back were ghostly, barely making contact with skin, until his hand settled on his hip, showing extreme caution until Jim could explain himself more clearly.

Jim smiled at Khan’s gentle handling at him and said, “Meant I’d try to be good and let you lead.  You know I can be a little shit sometimes.”  He undulated a bit against Khan, stretching out a few muscles.  “I want you to show me, Noonien.”  He moved his head to take a light hold of Khan’s left earlobe with teeth, tugging at the sensitive scrap of flesh.  “Let me touch, too.”

A quick shiver shot down his neck and back as Khan lightly closed his eyes at the playful bite. He hummed out a satisfied sigh, fingers curling in a little firmer now. At the request to be able to touch him in return, Khan had to rework his plan for Jim, but adapted well enough. Both hands slid down over Jim's backside where he began to massage the cheeks of his ass, which also pressed their cocks firmly against the other, rubbing and pressing against the other.

Jim moaned, a half-content and half-aroused sound, at the new touches and felt his spine liquify a little melting him into Khan’s hands.  He explored the augment’s sensitive neck with his mouth, enjoying each inch of skin.  And then, devil that he was, he bit down sharply on the join of Khan’s neck and shoulder, bracing himself for a reaction.

The bite had been completely unexpected, as Khan believed they were to take things slow. But he moaned openly, his features relaxing into something blissful, even as his muscles clenched, wrapping himself that much more around Jim. The tips of his fingers dug in sharply so that their hips remained pressed together, his cock springing to life hard. "Jim-" He groaned his name softly, rubbing himself against his lover.

Jim made a pleased noise at Khan’s response and nuzzled at the mark he’d made, which would fade far too quickly for his liking. He pulled back to lightly kiss Khan’s mouth and then cheeks, even as his hips answered the push and rub of his lover’s movements.  “Shall we lie back down?” he asked, looking into Khan’s eyes for confirmation.  He lightly rubbed at the nape of Khan’s neck, fingers curling into the black strands there.  “My knees are getting kind of wobbly.  You still do that to me ... when you’re this close.”

"Hmm-" Khan licked at his lower lip with a low hum, "you teased me with that one ..." Pressing his hand against Jim's hip, Khan pushed him back down on the bed. Though instead of positioning himself between Jim's legs or forcing his thighs open, Khan kept his hand pressed so that they remained closed. Then laying down against his lover, Khan rubbed and pressed himself against Jim's hip, kissing him with a growing hunger.

Jim would have spread his legs eagerly to welcome his lover, but the hand there urged them closed,  He had promised to follow Khan’s lead, after all, and felt a deep curiosity to see what his lover had in mind.  His hips answered the movement, as much as he could when sprawled under someone so much stronger than he was.  He opened his mouth to the kiss, too, sucking eagerly at a warm tongue, and enjoyed the hunger in Khan.  His lover seemed just on the edge of feral, perhaps from being unable to share this intimacy with Jim throughout his recovery period.  Since starting their relationship and ending what Khan had admitted to be a long period of celibacy, perhaps his less cerebral needs had been awakened with a heightened ferocity that was hard to dull down again.  So, despite the fact that this was supposed to be for him (at least, Jim figured Khan’s thoughts lay in that direction), Jim found himself thinking at Khan, ‘ _Take what you need, Noonien_ ,’ and offered more in all the body cues he could.

"Jim-" Khan gasped, a soft, pleasant growl trapped in his throat. The way Jim offered himself had a very strong effect on Khan and was proving an interesting challenge to resist. His kisses were passionate in both giving and taking alike. "Jim." He said against with a careful bite to his lips, then smirked, eyes dropping as they examined Jim under him, the fine length of his body, of muscle and skin. Pressing his hand to Jim's stomach, Khan dropped his weight to one side, pressing and grinding as he guided Jim into position in his arms. Spooning up behind him, with one hand still against his stomach and the other now snaking around his shoulders, Khan groaned pleasantly against Jim's back, pressing his trapped cock against his lover's backside.

“Noonien,” Jim replied each time Khan said his name, the word loving and trusting in his mouth.  He obeyed the commands of strong hands, surprised to find himself on his side and snuggled up into Khan’s arms.  Although there was more than a hint of carnality in the press of a hard, long cock against his ass, demanding in a primal way.  But Jim knew Khan would not demand, would ask and accept only what Jim allowed.  That gave him the confidence, the desire, to push into that length, teasing a little even.  “This is nice, Noonien,” he praised, settling into the cradle of his lover’s arms, even as his hips continued to move, not encumbered by the hand on his abdomen and shoulders.

"Good- I'm glad you think so. I like this." Khan said as he pressed a few kisses against Jim's neck, then licked at a spot just behind his ear. "That feels good ..." He said as Jim began to push back and squirm pleasantly in his arms. Encouraged, Khan began to roll their hips together, rubbing and grinding slowly, keeping the movements smooth and fluid. "My Jim-" He said, then gave a careful bite to his neck while his hand drifted down to palm his cock, thumbing along the length of his shaft, then over the head, wanting to encourage his arousal.

“Why did you choose this position, Noonien?” Jim asked, unable to resist the question.  “I don’t mind,” he hastened to add, in case his lover worried.  He pushed into the hand at his cock, feeling himself grow harder at the tender ministrations.  “What do you have planned for your lover?  Will you tell?  Or is it a surprise?”  He arched his head to expose more neck for Khan’s possessive bites, liking them very much.  The last one made him shudder from head to toe, leaving tingles along the wake.   

It was perhaps fair to ask, considering the two generally faced one another whenever they made love. Still, Khan attempted to be apologetic for this variant in their routine by kissing Jim sweetly along his neck before explaining. "I have a better view, of all of you like this-" Though it also meant Jim had less of a view of Khan in exchange. "I can rest my head on your shoulder and listen to your heartbeat or watch your lips part as you breathe ... I can hold you in my arms, and yet you are not trapped beneath me. That- and when I do this," he said, still stroking and giving a gentle squeeze of his erection, "I get to enjoy watching your entire body react, and feel you writhe back against my body."

“Oh, you like the view,” Jim said with a shiver and a laugh.  “And the way you can touch me all over.”  He reached back with his own hand and lightly stroked Khan’s hip, thinking the touching was not equal.  But he did not deny the sensuality of Khan’s description, nor could he hide the way his body quickened even further beneath his hands.  “Would you like me to open up more to you?” he asked, lifting his top leg to wrap over Khan’s legs.  This exposed more of himself to touch and gave Khan a place to thrust between, should he so desire.  “Whatever you want, Noonien.”

"Yes, I like the view." Khan confirmed, nuzzling his nose against Jim's neck, breathing in his scent with a purr. His lips closed around the soft flesh just behind his jaw, then began to lick the crest of his ear before giving a gentle bite. "Yes, Jim- very good." He praised softly against his skin, thrusting slowly, letting the head of his erection rub against Jim, wet but hard against the cleft of his ass. Jim felt so wonderful and inviting, even though he knew the focus was meant to be on Jim. Stroking his cock with one hand and spreading his fingers wide over Jim's chest with the other, Khan held his lover close, grinding against him so that Jim was forced to thrust and fuck his hand.

Jim loved the praise, basked in it as he always had with lovers, though the glow was somehow brighter when Khan spoke the words.  He didn’t know what to do with his hands, useless as they were for touching anywhere on Khan much.  One finally fisted into the sheets in front of him, while the other took a firm hold of Khan’s arm.  “Please, Noonien,” he said, not really knowing what he was asking for.  Maybe for the tease of cock against his opening to become a reality.  Maybe for Khan to stop using the power of his body to drive Jim insane.  Maybe for more of those pretty words that sparked a flame both in his groin and his heart.  “Fuck, it’s so good.”  He squeezed tightly at the strong arm beneath his hand.  “You’re good.  Need you.”

"My Jim." Khan growled softly, his mouth pressed against the back of Jim's head, nose buried his his short blond hair. He sounded a mixture of eager and frustrated, possessive and loving. A strange, complex mixture that in some people was dangerous, but with Jim was shown through as devotion. As his fingers curled around the underside of his shaft, Khan used his middle finger to tease the pucker of his ass. "I could have you right now Jim." Khan said, giving another bite and hard kiss to his neck as he spoke. "Breech your gorgeous body and stay there, deep inside while I hold you in my arms ... kiss and whisper to you, just like this." Khan gave a lick against the hinge of his jaw. "Push back, Jim ... push back, and I'll take you."

“Oh,” Jim mumbled as Khan whispered such delightful porn in his ear.  He should have worried about lubricant or the tightness of his ass, since it had been awhile since they’d been able to indulge in any kind of sexual activity.  But all of that felt unimportant in the face of pleasing Khan, answering his lovely promises.  He wanted to have his lover pressed inside him, as deeply connected physically as it was possible between them.

So, he canted his hips to allow Khan the easiest penetration and then just eased himself backward.  There was a moment when he feared he might not be able to give what Khan wanted and then with a shocking (and admittedly painful) give, his muscles accepted the very head of Khan’s impressive girth.  And despite a sharp noise of surprise, tinged with discomfort, Jim did not stop himself from continuing to press into that penetration, until he could not move any further and paused, panting slightly from the effort and the continued attempt of his body to accommodate.

Khan watched as Jim contorted himself, forcing his own body to accommodate the intrusion. And while Khan could have thrust forward to force his way in, he did nothing of the sort, but instead remained still, except for a small shift when he felt he might initially slip out. "Jim-" Khan groaned openly, "So beautifully tight." His hands spread over Jim's chest, rubbing and pressing to hug him tightly from behind. "I have you, my love- you are safe." He assured, even though it was rough for both of them, moreso for Jim. But Khan was flushed warm all over, his usually pale skin a soft pink up along the length of his back as his nerves danced throughout the his body.

The burn lasts a little longer than Jim is used to, but he eventually eases back fully into Khan’s strength, the girth inside him welcome.  He made a relieved noise and sought out one of Khan’s hands to hold and squeeze reassuringly.  “I know I’m safe,” he murmured.  “Though maybe not from your size.”  He squeezed down a little on the cock inside him and succeeded in making himself groan when the muscles protested a bit.  “What will you do with me now that you have me fully pinned?” he asked, a hint of a tease in the question.  

"Keep you- right here in my arms, just like I said." Khan answered, bowing his head to kiss Jim on the shoulder. Though his hips did roll forward to keep himself pressed inside his lover, knowing the little bit of friction would eventually help his muscles to respond and ease to the intrusion. "My Jim." He sighed happily, fingertips drawing themselves across his chest, nails slightly scraping against his nipple. His free hand however reached out to interlace their fingers together. "I want to feel you relax, Jim- to feel your body unravel, until I can make love to you with ease." Khan kissed, then licked the length of his neck before he added. "I don't care how long it takes, I am going to stay right here, deep inside your gorgeous body until every muscle- every word from your lips is moaning to be fucked." Khan said with a devilish grin, not one to use vulgar words, but thinking that Jim would like it in this instance.

Jim hummed a happy response to those words, grinning back at his lover for the obscenity.  “One would think you really wanted to hear me beg,” he said and arched his neck into the licks and kisses and bites bestowed on the length.  “But I might be content to just let you stay inside me, deep and hard, until you can’t stand it anymore.”  He flashed his own playful expression, eyes lit up with a mixture of mischief, delight and pleasure, not to mention desire for his Noonien.  He shifted back into the impalement and moaned softly to feel it strike just right inside him.  “You do feel so good inside me.”

"Really, Jim." Khan spoke against his skin, unable to keep his mouth off his body, "You want to test my patience? My endurance? Really?" Khan slid his hand down over Jim's hip, palming over the slight protrusion of bone as he rolled his own hips forward, keeping himself well inside his lover. "I will happily remain inside you like this Jim, even if you fall asleep in my arms ... perhaps you will have pleasant dreams." He said, amusing himself with a smile.

Jim laughed and leaned back to scrape his teeth over Khan’s chin.  “I think your endurance is amazing, but I also think you’re not that patient.  You get what you want on your schedule.”  His entire demeanor was teasing, even as he squirmed back a little to keep himself well in Khan’s grip.  When their hands were joined, he kept a gentle hold, while the other hand stroked up and down Khan’s strong arm.  “Besides, my Noonien, why shouldn’t I want to have you as close as possible to me for as long as I can bear it?”

Surviving his time with Admiral Marcus, and additional imprisonment by Starfleet had forced Khan to show great restraint and patience. But even so, perhaps Jim was correct. Khan tended to have his own plan of things, his own schedule, and way of getting the things he wanted in the end. And he did want Jim. He did want to hear him moan and lose himself in his arms. To be free of any other thought, other than the pleasure of their bodies pressed together. Khan muffled his moan against Jim's shoulder as he continued to squirm and push back, easing himself open each time he did it. "My Jim-" he breathed, all other words lost to him. He could hear it, just under the surface, Jim Kirk would not tire of him, would not be bored of his lover as long as Khan was around.

Jim smiled at the words he could just hear and encouraged Khan with an echoed, “Your Jim.  Especially here.  Now.  Held by your strong arms and pinioned on your huge cock.  I couldn’t go anywhere even if I wanted to.”  He blew out a long, contented breath, body relaxing finally into the penetration.  “And I don’t.”

With their joined hands, Khan guided them both down over Jim's stomach, petting small circles over the flat muscle. "Touch yourself, Jim. I want to see you handle yourself. I want to see how you manage to bring yourself pleasure. Every nerve, every muscle you get to respond, I will feel it too." Khan said, then dragged his tongue over his neck, beginning to suck soft pink marks against his skin.

Jim smiled to himself, thinking that Khan hadn’t really been able to wait after all.  But he neither hesitated, nor joked about the request.  Although no longer touching Khan sucked, he lightly traced his own rehardening erection with one finger.  He teased himself and his lover by a slow, thorough examination, just using the one digit to explore.  His eyes slid closed of their own, tongue flicking out to wet his lips as he half-pleasured and half-tortured himself this way.  And he hoped Khan enjoyed the view, since he was on full display, even as slight shivers and shifts of pleasure minutely pressed him into Khan’s body.  “Like this?” he asked, double-meaning.

"Yes Jim ..." Khan bit his own lips as he watched Jim handle himself. He was delighted to see Jim explore himself, find pleasure by his own hand, while remaining safe in Khan's arms. Their bodies shifted together as Jim responded to his own touches, though for the most part Khan just kept his arms wrapped around his lover, letting Jim move and push back against him as something strong and dependable.

“Do you want me to do more?” Jim asked, feeling safe and protected, as well as completely turned on, by the firm presence of his lover.  “I like hearing you tell me.”  He demonstrated a few things he might do- rubbing just under the head, stroking in full with his fist, playing with the sack that hung heavy and a little achey behind.  “You have such an amazing voice, Noonien.  Like fine silk in vocal form.”

"Hmm-" Khan smiled, "Very well, Captain, since you enjoy my voice so much, I will give you direction." Khan nuzzled the side of Jim's head with his own, unable to help himself, constantly wanting his scent upon him, loving the warm contact. "Wet your thumb with your tongue. Then pet the crest of your beautiful cock for me. Make it nice and pink and swollen for me, Jim."

Jim sometimes wondered what other augments or any species with strong senses of smell would get off him now.  He suspected that they would know right away that he belonged to Khan, that anyone who touched would be doing so at their own risk. The idea rather appealed to him, almost as much as the order he had just received.

No slouch when it came to putting on a show during sex, Jim made sure his thumb dripped before removing it from his mouth with a rude pop.  He imitated the motion Khan desired, starting with only the lightest of pressure, before working up to something that indeed made him whine with need.

"Yes, Jim. Ah-" Khan breathed softly, holding his breath for a moment. "Look at you. Delicious." Khan whispered against the shell of his ear. "I would take you from behind and suck you off at the same time, if I could, Jim." He said, lightly biting and tugging at his ear lobe. "I enjoyed your taste- having my lips around you. That was the first time I attempted to do such a thing, you know ... and I look forward to doing it again. Ah, good Jim." Khan purred, finally giving a small thrust to keep himself buried deep within.

Jim panted a little for breath from the exercise of pleasuring himself and managed, “I liked it, too, Noonien.  You are talented in everything.”  He shifted around as his thumb continued to work, feeling as his lover moved within him.  “Do you not want more of me?” he asked.  “May I not please you some more?”  He turned his head to seek a kiss, demanding for a moment.

Happily meeting his mouth, Khan kissed him back. One hand slid over his chest and slowly scraped over his nipple, while the other rested carefully along his collarbone, just under his neck while his head was turned back to kiss him. With a pleasant growl, Khan rolled his hips again. "Of course I want more of you, Jim ... I want every inch of you."

The thrust earned Khan a loud cry and a buck backward in response. “You have me,” Jim murmured into his mouth, reaching with a hand to grasp and stroke at Khan’s flank, asking for more.  He wanted more of those movements, more of the noises Khan made when he was possessive and wanting.  The growl didn’t worry Jim at all, stimulating instead his own desires.  But he still hadn’t received additional commands to touch himself, so the hand at his cock just teased and teased the poor crest, making it as pink and swollen as Khan had desired.  And making Jim shake a bit with the effort not to do more, to just keep teasing himself.

Low hums and other soft sounds of delight continued to rumble out of Khan, filling some of the silence between them, as he was not otherwise as vocal as Jim perhaps enjoyed. "Yes- beautiful Jim." Khan said, approving of how Jim moved in his arms, how he shifted back so that they built together steady movements as they made love. He also approved as the way Jim had followed direction and was now left with a very sensitive head to his cock. "Now, take my hand." He said, moving his hand lower on his stomach. "Show me how you want me to touch you." He said, aching to get his hands on Jim, but wanting it on his terms and for his pleasure.

Jim had grown used to Khan’s ways of signalling pleasure and approval during sex, though he sometimes longed for the man to use his glorious voice more.  He tightened his fingers once in acknowledgement and then placed the hand just behind his cock, on his rather tight sack.  “Play with me there for awhile?” he asked with a little bit of plea in his tone.  “Gently tug and roll them.  I’m so full and ready...you can feel it there.”  

"So you are." Khan purred against the back of his ear. With the tips of his fingers and the fleshy part of his thumb, Khan lightly pulled and rubbed his sack, letting each ball roll in the palm of his hand. Fondling Jim like this, he gave a soft squeeze whenever he slipped out too much and needed to push himself in deeply again. "Imagine if I kept you like this for days ... you might pass out when you finally find release." Khan grinned, attempting to be playful. "But I won't let it come to that, Jim ... I want you to let go, I want to feel you buck back against me and watch you find pleasure in my arms."

“Is that something you can do?” Jim asked, sounding a bit excited at the notion.  “Could you physically stay hard and inside me for days?”  He considered the notion and shivered in arousal, causing his already sensitive cock to gush a little from the tip.  “Fuck.  That’s such a hot idea.  I’d be a mess in no time, begging for you to let me come.”  He liked Khan’s idea of play and pressed little nips and kisses where he could reach to tell him so.

Khan watched as Jim seemed to consider the teasing fantasy as something to actually play out. "I have never been put to such a test. But I am certain I could last." Talking it out, Khan kissed Jim on the neck, then began to lick at some of the salt from his skin. "You would be incredibly sore for it and would need time to recover after the fact." Using his middle finger to pet the underside of his scrotum, Khan teased further. "Is that something you would want, Jim? To keep you in bed for days, unable to come? Unable to escape? Until I say so?"

“Fuck.  You’re so fucking hot,” James said, his voice nearly cracking on the last word.  “Yes, I’d like that.  We could do that...with some planning.  You could pin me down so easy and just keep me there for your pleasure.”  He kissed Khan, twisting to do so and eagerly sharing his mouth.  For and with his lover, all the things Khan mentioned would be a pleasure.  He could easily give that to his loving Noonien, knowing the other man would stop at a the slight indication he could not take it or that he was hurting.  “But I can’t hold out right now,” he confessed.

"Another time, then-" Khan said between their pressed lips. "Right now ..." He trailed off as he cupped his hand around Jim's length, closing his fingers around his shaft, thumb pressed just against the underside of the head. "Push back, Jim." He directed, while simultaneously grinding into him harder. "Fuck yourself until you are coming in my hand."

“Will you wait?” Jim asked hopefully.  “Take me slowly after I’ve come?”  He started a careful pace into his lover’s hand, showing he was going to obey either way, but that was what he wanted.  “Please?”

"Yes, Jim." Khan nuzzled the back of his neck, giving a gentle bite. "After you come, I will savor you and continue to make love until you are ready to be filled with my seed." He said the last with a possessive growl, face pressed close to Jim's scalp, lost in his scent and short hair, eyes lightly closed. "My lover, my Jim ..." He encouraged.

“My Noonien,” Jim answered and put himself to the task set for him.  Not that there was any lack of enthusiasm or pleasure involved.  He pushed into the hand on his cock and the cock in his ass with remarkable energy for one so pinioned.  And the noises he made echoed across the ceiling, glad for the soundproofing.  Being able to feel such pleasure, to share with his Noonien, it made him feel truly alive and well again.

"Yes." Khan encouraged, rolling his hips with him, helping to fuck his hand. Lips parting against his shoulder, Khan seemed to give kisses, but also breathed out heavily against his skin. Though it not because the augment was out of breath, but rather that there were words, names, on the tip of his lips that Khan was keeping himself from speaking. It was the heat of the moment, this was no place for embarrassing declarations. Jim was his, his lover, his Jim, that should be enough. And yet his breath quickened every time the forbidden thought slipped into his mind, to call him husband. It was wrong. It was an incorrect label. It was a false, fantasy concept that did no good to dwell on.

Even so, the notion teased at Khan. To call Jim husband, to ask him to stay with him. To share more moments like these for the remainder of their lives. Khan gave a frustrated whimper and bit at the back of Jim's shoulder as he thrust into his body. No, it wasn't fair to ask Jim to stay. He had a life here on the Enterprise, as her Captain. He deserved the adventure of exploring space, to experience as much of the universe as he could. Khan had no right to take Jim away from his family on the Enterprise, to ask him to settle down. That was not the future meant for Jim Kirk. It would be unfair to ask him, when the answer was no. There was no point to this foolish line of thought. He only had Jim now, in these moments. And as much as it pained him, they had no lasting future together. His Jim. His beloved Jim.

Jim lost himself in the full sensation of being made love to by his Noonien, a combination of tender and hard.  The warm breath against his neck and shoulders made him shiver almost as much as every stroke inside him.  But the whimper gave him pause, even at the height of both his pleasure and entanglement with Khan.  He might whimper in response to their physical activities, the emotions and pleasure his lover brought him, but never Khan.  He never failed to let Jim know that he enjoyed their couplings, but never with that noise.  And somehow, though it might have been a good sound, it made him doubt and slacked his pleasure just enough to ease the need to release.  

He turned his head to seek Khan’s mouth for a tender kiss and reassurance.  “Noonien?” he questioned softly, lips brushing against his lover’s.  He was not sure what to ask, mind fogged with the headiness of pleasure and being so entwined with Khan.  His Noonien.   

"Yes." Khan kissed him, sucking on his lips. "I have you, Jim." He said, reading the pause of uncertainty as Jim working through a doubt or a small flare of fear. Khan did not want him to doubt that he was safe, or loved. "I have you-" He repeated, letting his hand pause from stroking him off, instead just working his thumb over the head in small circles, playing and teasing the already sensitive nerves. "So good, Jim." He whispered between kissing him again.

Jim unintentionally mimicked the whimper against Khan’s lips and then whispered, “Have you, too, Noonien.”  He squirmed a little as his lover tortured him so sweetly, before reaching to tangle their fingers and stop the teasing.  Directing his hand, he asked for Khan to stroke again and bring him to a climax.  He wasn’t sure what had come over his lover a few moments before, but now was not the right time to find out.  “Please.”  

"Yes, you do." Khan said gently, knowing the hold Jim had on him was much deeper then physical. Though resuming his rhythm, his fingers expertly slid up and down the swollen cock in his hands, squeezing gently as he rutted into his lovely body. Licking and kissing the side of his neck, Khan watched over Jim's shoulder, enjoying the sight of him in his hand and how his hips moved every time Khan thrust into him.  

Jim moved with his lover and closed his eyes, head falling back to rest on Khan’s shoulder.  He could feel those amazing eyes on him almost as much as he could feel the hand driving him ever closer to climax.  His hips picked up a life of their own, lost to conscious direction now, as he strove toward release.  And the way his lover’s name echoed off his lips when he did spatter himself (and Khan’s knowing hand) with come sounded like a very personal religious experience.  

As it was, in a way.

Khan had watched eagerly, the build inside of Jim and the way his lips parted to declare his name while his body found release. "That was beautiful, Jim." Khan purred, helping him ride through the experience, adoring the buzz that radiated from his body. Slowing his pace, Khan wrapped both arms around him, hugging him dearly form behind, nuzzling the side of his neck. "I have you." He assured again, discreetly smiling against his skin.

“Oh, yes, you do,” Jim panted softly, needing the air.  His body relaxed completely in his lover’s hold, still tingling from his intense orgasm.  He reached out to stroke Khan’s side and flank, humming softly under his breath in contentment.  “Please, take what you need, my Noonien.  I want you to find your pleasure, too.  Like we talked about, Noonien.”  With a lazy roll of his hips, he demonstrated how much he wanted his lover’s attention.  

Khan groaned, having already resisted the urge when he had felt Jim tightened around him during his release. "Yes, Jim. I will." He said, hips rolling with him, "I will spill into you, when you are ready for me. And not a moment before." He would prolong his own release, just like he promised. And in the meantime, stay deep inside his lover's body, keeping their union strong.

“Mmm, how will you know?” Jim asked and easily caught on to the rhythm set by his lover.  He twisted his leg a little further back over Khan’s, trying to open himself up just that bit more.  Everything felt right for him in the moment, being so close to the man he cared for more than any other and having just received great pleasure from his touches.  Now, he wanted to give back the same, more, if possible.  

Khan slid his hand over Jim's hip, keeping hold of him, even as they were awkwardly balanced. "You will tell me, Captain." Khan said, watching him for reaction, hoping he enjoyed the use of his formal title like this. "Until then, I will enjoy your sweet body. And make love to you until you no longer want my cock, or my seed." Licking his lips, Khan adjusted his hold on Jim, shifting with him until he managed to roll his lover onto his stomach, while laying on top of him, rutting into his body. One arm around his middle and the other still on his hip, Khan groaned again, being able to slip into him with more ease like this. "You will tell me, Captain." He said again, showing the Jim had the power, even though Khan was otherwise very clearly dominating him. "I am yours to command."

“I will always want those,” Jim said, scrambling a little under Khan.  “Need a pillow for my hips.”  He wiggled them as much as he could from side-to-side.  The position was not one he accepted often, but he trusted Khan and the words he spoke.  “Then go slow.  Please.  And deep.”  Bracing himself on his arms, he positioned himself to answer Khan’s thrusts as much as he could.

Reaching forward, Khan grabbed both pillows from the head of the bed, then stuffed one under Jim's hips, and the other under his stomach, giving him something soft and giving to lay against. Satisfied that Jim would be comfortable like this for a little while, Khan kissed the center of his back, head bowed down and lips constantly pressed to his skin.  "Yes, Captain." He said with a little purr to his voice, taking his time to settle inside his lover, before pulling out just a little, only to slip deeply in once more. He experimented like this for a few minutes until finding the right angle, slipping in easily, Jim managing to take his entire length in one smooth movement. Staying like this, Khan settled on top of Jim, kissing the back of his neck and shoulders, one arm hugging around his torso as he slowly made love to him.

“Oh fuck,” Jim huffed out with a soft gasp and rested easily under his lover.  He squeezed around the cock in his ass now and then to let Khan know he was enjoying himself.  The pillows helped ease any soreness he might feel from the constant press in and out of his body.  “Have you done this before?” he asked softly.  “Taken a lover this way, for as long as you could?  Well, as long as I can take it.”  He groaned as Khan pressed all the way inside again.

It was difficult for Khan to understand why Jim was always so curious about what Khan had and had not done before with other lovers. They were far from his mind, until Jim brought them up. In return, Khan was generally not interested at all in hearing what Jim had gotten up to with lovers other then him, he had no desire to listen to stories of his pleasure at someone else's hands. "I have been in this position before, yes." He answered simply, nose buried in the short blond hair before him. "In a rush and full of need, and slowly too." He said, hoping that answered his question.

“Not the same then,” Jim murmured, pleased with the thought, and answered the next few thrusts with his own.  He settled again, though, not wanting to tire himself out too quickly.  Khan deserved a chance to truly wear himself out a little bit...if that was possible.  He stretched out his hands a little in front of him and wiggled his fingers, wondering if his lover would understand.

Intended or not, Khan understood things in his own way, as usual. As Jim stretched out under him, Khan laid over his body further, blanketing him with his own limbs. Stretching his arms out as well, Khan shadowed the position Jim was in, then interlaced their fingers with a slight squeeze. This slowed things down tremendously, keeping Khan still for the most part as he laid over his lover, bodies pressed overlapping, while his hips subtly continued to grind and push to keep himself deliciously inside the other man.

“Oh. That feels so good, Noonien.  You’re so strong above me and big inside me.  I can feel you all over me,” Jim rumbled and squeezed his lover’s fingers tenderly.  He pushed up into the strength of Khan, knowing he can’t move him an inch he’s not allowed.  And since he trusted his lover as much as anyone in his life, he found that amazingly sensual and arousing.  Aka, hot.  

Khan hummed happily to feel Jim push back under him. It was not an earnest struggle to be free, but it was exciting to feel Jim test the boundaries Khan set for him. "I know we should have used lubrication, but you have relaxed some since your orgasm. You are able to take me wonderfully." Khan praised, letting himself sink down with a groan every time Jim pushed back for more of him.  

“You’re not hurting me,” Jim responded, “but it must be a little uncomfortable for you to thrust into me dry.”  He knew he was not overly fond of the sensation and always made sure to have something slick on hand, especially with species he was unfamiliar with.  But no way he was telling that to Khan.

Besides, he did not mind.  He would be sore later, but the feel of Khan above and inside him now made everything else worth it.  He pressed up harder into Khan, trying to put as much effort as he could into their shared thrusting.  “Love this so much, Noonien.”

Khan closed his eyes slightly, relaxing as Jim admitted that he was not hurting. As his lungs expanded each time he took Jim in, his chest pressed into his back, a steady, forceful weight over his lover. "I am quite enjoying you like this, Jim." He said with a low groan. Letting go of one hand, Khan wrapped his fingers around Jim's wrist instead, giving a slight squeeze as he continued to make his movements slow and steady, just like Jim wanted.

“Would you say this is a preferred position then?” Jim purred underneath him, glancing at the hand now on his wrist.  That didn’t seem as intimate as their twined fingers, but he wondered if it had some other meaning for Khan.  The augment seldom said much during their couplings and seemed not at all inclined to discuss other encounters.  But that left Jim guessing, which he was good at, being a bit experienced, but talking might have been nice sometimes.

"Not necessarily." Khan dragged his lips over Jim's shoulder, trying to get his lover to turn his head to look at him. "We cannot kiss as easily, nor can I look into your eyes ... but I can watch and feel you in other ways, which I like." Khan kissed the side of his face, as his slowed himself down even further, resting on top of Jim like this, giving his body a chance to calm down, to go slow with Jim as he wanted, instead of be too eager to build himself up. 

“I do miss kissing you in this position,” Jim agreed and turned his head to do his best approximation for his lover.  “It’s not the easiest thing to manage.  But I like other things, too.”  He rubbed his cheek against Khan’s and then nipped at what he could reach of his face.  “Don’t stop moving...please.”

Groaning, Khan nipped at his ear. "So demanding, Captain." He said, starting up slowly again, rolling his hips at first, then grinding in deeper with unhurried full thrusts. Khan took his time with Jim, taking his body over and over as he made love to him. "Is this what you want, Captain? Just like this?" He asked with a little grin.

“Yes,” Jim moaned low in his throat and then threw back his head on a louder, “Yes!” when Khan struck his prostate just right.  “Fuck.  I’m going to get hard again for you.”  He panted unashamedly as he put all his own energy into trying to make this good for Khan, too.  His reserves were not fully charged, even if his health was recovered, so he had to subside after some time.  But he kept vocalizing his delight, trying to spur Khan on.

Khan groaned again, enjoying hearing Jim vocalize like this. "Beautiful, Jim." He praised softly, giving the hand he was still holding a gentle squeeze. "Perhaps I will finish you off for a second time." They were celebrating Jim's recovery after all, he could have anything he wanted, any way he wanted. But for now, Khan kept pushing into Jim's sweet, hot body, trying to find those same bundle of nerves against his prostate each time, enjoying the unconscious shuddering of nerves through his body.

“Won’t even have to touch me more than you are,” Jim grated out between breaths.  His body shook with the new build up of intense pleasure, caused by the persistent striking against his prostate.  “Fuck.  Love that so much, Noonien.  Can’t take much more.”  He fought back his second orgasm, holding on by the narrowest of margins.  “You’re just toying with me.”

"Isn't that what you want?" Khan purred against the back of his ear, then gave it a little bite. He did tease him further however, by settling in nice and deep, then letting himself slip half way out naturally, before thrusting in quickly. His breath was hot against Jim's skin just then, panting for an instant as he held back from taking more. "So good, Jim-"

“I want you to be able to be yourself with a lover,” Jim said.  “To have someone give you what you need.  Even if I’m going to have to sleep for a week to recover.”  All of that is said through gulps of air and groans of pleasure as Khan just kept moving and claiming and being augmented.  “Fuck. Maybe a month.”

"Jim-" Khan dropped his head between his tense shoulders, lips plucking at the protruding points of Jim's spine. He panted again, thrusting hard once more. He was frustrated and confused when Jim was like this. Telling him one thing, then another, but not really meaning it. It was difficult for the augment to keep his place and not overstep the line. He growled, showing his frustration, but did not take it out on Jim, even though it would be very easy for him to take his vulnerable lover hard and fast until was indeed satisfied.

Jim tensed a little at the growl and asked, “What’s wrong?” confused by the sudden change.  And even though Khan’s movements didn’t change, he was aware of how completely at Khan’s mercy he was.

In the end it turned out Khan did not like this game. "Let me come, Jim." He said roughly, not liking that he had to ask for permission. It did not sit well with him. But his frustration was surfacing now. It was one thing to go slow, to take his time with Jim as he wanted. He could do that. But then to imply that Khan should take him the way the augment wanted, even if it meant Jim would need to rest for a week, the two concepts were polar opposites. It was difficult, as it forced Khan to pick loyalty to Jim over his own pleasure. Which in fact wasn't that difficult at all, Khan would pick Jim easily, but it meant he was confused by the mixed messages in the meantime.

Jim frowned into the pillow, but said without pause, “Please.  Come inside me, Noonien.”  There was the slightest hitch to the name, as Jim was suddenly unsure if it was allowed...wanted.  He braced himself for his lover’s- Khan’s climax and tightened the muscles of his entrance around him, still wanting to give him pleasure.  But his own pleasure, which had been building so steadily before that, dwindled away under the strangeness of Khan’s responses...how cold and remote he seemed suddenly.

The uncertainty rang ten time louder in Khan's ears and in his heart. On some level he had frightened Jim, after promising not to hurt him. And he wouldn't. Letting go of his grip, Khan pushed himself up onto all fours, careful as he let himself slip out. "Not like this." He said quietly, showing calm once more. "I don't think it would make either of us very happy now." He said, eyes down, frowning to himself as he moved to the end of the bed, giving Jim room and freedom.

But Jim rolled over and moved after him, determined not to let Khan pull away completely, as he feared the augment might.  “Wait,” he murmured.  “Tell me what happened.  I had to have done something...because it was all going so well.  And nothing changed of how I felt.  I made you upset.  How did I do that?”  He reached out to caress Khan’s face tenderly, fingers conveying his feelings.

Khan frowned again, able to feel that there was indeed still love there in those touches. "I am sorry if I scared you, Jim." Khan said, apologizing right away as well. Lifting his gaze, his eyes were sharp and intense, even though he was behaving quite calm. "I found your request confusing. I could not give you what you wanted. I needed release, but I did not like asking permission for it."

“Could not give me what I wanted?” Jim asked, trying to puzzle it out.  “I wasn’t complaining...I wasn’t trying to complain or imply that I wasn’t enjoying myself.  Is that what I did?”  He worked through the words he had spoken, trying to decipher what had gone wrong, but even as he did, his body moved instinctively to try and align with Khan’s, wanting the closeness back.  “No.  I’m sorry.  You’re going to have to explain.  Something I said...I guess I didn’t phrase it well?”

"You said I should be myself ... that I should be able to have what I needed. This ... this statement, Jim. It is contrary." Khan did not understand how Jim could still want to be close to him, could still want him when the augment was feeling so unsettled. "I was being slow and gentle because you wanted me in this way, which I enjoyed, but it was about giving you what you needed. Bringing my needs into it ... they are not complimentary." Khan however looked a bit hurt, but for another reason entirely. He had indeed been foolish to think of calling Jim his husband. Khan was an imperfect and poor match, he would not have failed Jim in this way if he were truly meant to be mates. It was a crushing blow. "I am sorry Jim." He repeated. "I want to make you happy ... and I am flawed to the task."

Jim frowned, too, but more at Khan’s unhappiness than anything else.  “Hey, no.  Don’t say that.  I don’t believe it anyway.”  He curled his fingers around Khan’s strong jaw and pressed a brief kiss to his lips.  “I admit, I don’t like the idea that our needs weren’t complimentary.  If you enjoyed going slow...I thought that was something you wouldn’t view as being opposed to your needs.”  He shook his head.  “I didn’t realize when I said I wanted to give you what you needed that it was the opposite.  I was trying to tell you that the idea of letting you go for as long as you could, use that augmented stamina to its fullest...that’s what I thought was something you might need...or at least like.”  He tilted his head to look into Khan’s somewhat downcast eyes.  “I think the real problem may be that I talk too much in bed.”

"I did enjoy going slow with you, Jim. I was not lying. It was a treat to savor you like that." Khan confirmed, then reached out to place a hand on Jim's knee. "I do not mind that you talk, Jim ... but sometimes you say things that confuse me ... and I am left uncertain about what it is you really want." Khan sighed deeply, glancing to the side. "May I lay with you in your bed, hold you face to face?"

“I would like that very much,” Jim said, slightly ashamed for having wrecked the mood between them.  And thinking maybe he could just get himself a gag.  His other lovers had almost all enjoyed his tendency to talk during lovemaking, to praise and even document.  But Khan took things to heart.  Indeed, Jim suspected now that Khan was remarkably easy to wound, perhaps because he never had taken a truly consensual lover this way before, someone before whom he was also vulnerable.   And thinking that, Jim wrapped his arms tight around Khan’s neck and kissed him with a fierce tenderness.  “You know I’m pretty deeply entwined with you emotionally, right?” he asked.

Khan settled on his side, arms reaching out hesitantly, but eventually wrapping themselves around Jim to hold in his arms once more. Though as Jim admitted to being very emotionally taken with Khan, the augment met his eyes finally, a touch of hope still there that he had not been entirely wrong. "Yes?" His tone settled into something a little less strained. "I feel very strongly about you too, Jim."

“It’s easier to get confused and uncertain when you care about the other person, huh?” Jim asked, letting his regard, as well as his worry, shine from his own eyes and expression.  “There I was trying to let you know how very much I was enjoying myself, being so close to you, and I hurt you instead.”  He dotted the angular face in front of him, which looked not at all the way Khan should look, strong and certain, in that moment.  “I’m glad you do...even if I fall all over my own tongue.”

Khan listened and agreed with a small nod. "Perhaps-" he began after a pause, "there is a reason we are meant to be together, face-on." Slowly, so that his intentions were clear, Khan offered his parted lips for a light kiss. "That way I am able to silence that tongue, when it begins to get away from you."

Jim made a slightly grumpy noise, said, “As long as it’s not the only reason for kissing me,” and sealed their mouths together for a kiss.  He stroked into the nape of Khan’s neck and tugged at the hair there a few times.  “Wouldn’t hurt for you to have a little faith in me, too, you know.”

"No, not the only reason." Khan said quietly between their shared kiss. Though at the next comment, Khan lay there quietly for a moment, surprised that Jim would question his loyalty to him. "What do you mean?"

“That my words are meant to be good things, not bad,” Jim said.  “That if something upsets or offends you, it’s probably the way I said it and not any intent on my part.  I’m your lover.  Your Jim.  I wouldn’t offend or confuse you when I want us to be close.  Especially not when you’re trying so hard to give me something.”  He rested his head next to Khan’s on the pillows, hoping he understood.

Khan took a moment to just lay there, looking into the blue eyes before him, listening as Jim spoke. Humans had come a long way from the deceiving, manipulative, selfish, vindictive creatures he had known over three hundred years ago. It was perhaps why it was also such a great tragedy that Khan had been awoken to the likes of Admiral Marcus, as in that moment of awakening, humans had not changed at all. Even though humans had in fact evolved since then. And overall, they were much more like Jim Kirk, compassionate to others, honest and trustworthy. "Your words are meant as good things." Khan repeated back after a long silence, hoping to finally learn this lesson. "You are good with me, Jim. I am sorry if I distressed you."

“I’m sorry I distressed you, too,” Jim answered and tucked himself against Khan tightly.  “I don’t ever want you not to tell me if something feels wrong, all right?  It’s better for me to know.”  He dotted soft kisses along Khan’s jawline, fingers still stroking into Khan’s strong nape.  “Will you continue now, Noonien?  Like this?  Where you can see my face?”

Relaxing as Jim began to shower him with gentle and consistent affection, Khan sighed, feeling more at ease. Jim still wanted him, even now, he was pleasantly insatiable. "Yes, Jim." Khan said with a slight nod, kissing the side of his face in turn. His hands moved over Jim, claiming him all over again with the sweetest of touches. "Since we are starting over, pick out a lubrication you would like."

Jim smiled and nodded, moving up and over to the nightstand.  He considered a few choices, before pulling out his favorite for making things nice and slick.  “This only requires a little to really work well...and since I’m already a bit open from you.”  He set the tube next to Khan and then rolled trustingly on his back, legs already spread wide and inviting.  “I want you, Noonien.”

Sitting up on his knees, Khan kissed Jim on the inside of his thighs while he stroked himself with lubrication. A little bit really did go a long way, which was nice as he fisted his cock, making himself hard again. Leaning forward, Khan held himself up with one arm, while he used his other hand to find Jim's entrance. Fingers wet with the lubrication that did not easily dry out, Khan found what he was looking for with a groan. "So good, Jim-" He praised the man for being so willing, able to take more after undoubtedly already being quite sore. With his fingers guiding him, Khan breached Jim with ease this time, sliding in to the hilt with a sharp shudder shooting down his back.

“There you are,” Jim said with a contented sigh as Khan bottomed out inside him again, reaching up to rub his cheek with the back of his right hand.  “I confused you before, but this time, I mean it, take what you need, Noonien.  I trust you.”  He wrapped his legs around Khan’s back and squeezed around the intrusion inside him.  “And I want to give you everything.”

"Right now, I want to enjoy you slowly again. I want to build up to what we had before." Khan met his eyes easily as he let himself settle in, their hips pressed firmly until he began to give little thrusts. "You are what I need, Jim." He said, kissing the side of his face, taking in his calming scent once more.

“That sounds perfect,” Jim praised and met each small thrust with his own, holding on to Khan’s shoulders and meeting his eyes.  He held back the words on his lips, for fear of saying something wrong, something that might upset his lover again.  But his eye spoke volumes, wide and warm and filled with deep affection for the man above him.  And when that big cock struck his prostate, Jim moaned helplessly and rolled his head around on the pillow.  “Oh.”

"Perfect, Jim." Khan purred, kissing the exposed length of his neck. "I love making you into a moaning mess." He said, hips rolling steadily, wanting more of those delicious sounds. "Mmm-" Khan hummed, enjoying the taste of Jim on his lips as he kissed and sucked at the tender skin just under his jaw. "So good, Jim. Please-" He said gently, "say my name. I need to hear it again on your lips."

“Noonien,” Jim whispered, a lover’s caress of a name.  “My loving Noonien.”  He struggled to find a position where he could offer even more of himself, his need to please Khan ramping even higher.  “My Noonien who is so good to me, so warm and caring.”  He grunted deeper in his throat at another stab to his prostate.  “My Noonien who can drive me higher than any lover.”  His eyelids fluttered beyond his control, as his body quickened again.

The praise stroked his ego very nicely. With a smile against his shoulder, Khan pressed for a little more, taking Jim in long, rolling thrusts. "My sweet Jim-" He purred again, hands moving down his body, rubbing over the outside of his thighs, then up his sides. Then pushing his arm under the small of his back, Khan hooked Jim in close. "Hold on to me, Jim." He directed, giving him another good thrust before he pulled his lover up into his arms, sitting up in bed with Jim on his lap, utterly impaled on him.

Jim was glad for the good grip on Khan’s shoulders as he found himself sitting in his lover’s lap.  He let out a half-strangled cry of surprised pleasure, suddenly that much more filled.  “Fuck, Noonien,” he gasped and pressed their foreheads together, eyes closed as he acclimated to the new position.  “You’re so strong.  I know that, but you still catch me off guard.  You’re amazing, Noonien.”    

"My Jim." Khan kissed his jaw, then sought out his lips, offering gentle exchanges. Thrusting into Jim would not come as easily like this, but it allowed Khan to rock his lover on his lap, keeping things nice and slow, deep and sensual until Jim wanted to ride him harder. "You always take me so well, my love." He said, seeking out his mouth again, sucking sweetly at his lower lip.

“Can’t help it,” Jim answered and smiled into the kiss, before sealing it more firmly.  He hitched his legs under him to try and bounce himself a little bit, up and down on Khan’s giant cock and strong thighs.  “You open me up so deep and wide.  Gonna feel so empty after.”  He pouted a little at the thought, teasing Khan with the expression.

Khan smiled with affection and amusement, "Keeping you stuffed all the time might be deemed unbecoming." He teased with a little grin. His hands slid down Jim's back, supporting his weight with ease, but mostly because he enjoyed having the other man in his arms. "Ah-" He gasped, some tension in his own body starting to melt away, "keep going." He encouraged, kissing and biting at his neck and shoulder, groaning against his warm skin as Jim fucked him.

“Well, it would make some things more difficult,” Jim agreed, slowly moving up and down, legs already trembling a bit from the effort.  After all, they had been going for some time now.  “You’re probably gonna have to take over soon,” he murmured.  “I’m not as strong as you are, lover.”

"You have set a good pace for me-" Khan said, hooking one arm up the length of his back, supporting his spine. "Are you too sore to continue, Jim?" He asked, rolling Jim steadily on his lap, wanting it to be easy and pleasurable for him as well. His other hand found a soft scruff of hair at the base of his skull, getting pleasantly entangled as he held Jim close to his body, making love to him with care and intimacy.

“Not too sore,” Jim said and relaxed his body into Khan’s hold to allow the augment easy access for whatever he wanted to do.  He rolled his head into the hand on his neck and smiled at his lover.  “We look good together, too,” he purred, wishing for a mirror so he could watch them together.  His neck tilted forward as he reached to nibble on a tender earlobe, sucking sweetly at the little scrap of flesh.

"You like how we look together?" Khan asked, tilting his own head up teasingly, watching Jim out of the corner of his eye, making him work for his conquest. But once Jim had his ear between his teeth, Khan groaned and purred, tightening his hold eagerly, feeling himself swell for release. "Ah, Jim ... I could come for you, right now, just like this."

“Would you like to?” Jim asked.  “I’d like that, if you would.  Fill me all up until I can’t even hold all of your release.  Just let it dribble down my thighs to further mark me as yours.  Would you like that, Noonien?”  He leaned in to kiss Khan’s mouth and sucked eagerly at his tongue.  “Please, Noonien.”

"Yes- Yes, Jim." Khan moaned into his mouth as they kissed, tongue twisting and drawing out other delicious sounds from his chest. Rocking Jim on his lap, Khan let Jim draw it out of him. Spurred on by the idea that he was marking Jim as his, that he wanted to be filled and taken and marked as his. The need for release had been a long time in the making, but instead of taking Jim hard or rough, slamming into him or become demanding, Khan stilled for a moment, fingers tight in Jim's hair, while his other hand dug into his back like claws. "Yes Jim-" He barely managed to utter before his body shuddered, hips bucking once as he came with a groan, spilling his seed deep within his lover, coming over and over again.

“Yes, that’s so good, Noonien,” Jim praised and squeezed around him, trying to prolong and enhance the experience for his lover.  “You’re so good, filling me up.  Keep going, let it all out into me.  I want all of your seed. Please, Noonien.  Want everything you’ve got for me.”  He caressed Khan’s face and continued to rock himself on the huge cock still spurting inside him.  “Everything an augment can give me…”

For a moment, Khan sounded less formal, less human, and more animal and wild and incoherent. He couldn't form words, only take and claim Jim as his, releasing his seemingly endless load, filling his lover up, hot and slick, which in turn made Khan shiver with delight. Every muscle felt excessively hot, and every nerve felt like it was on fire. "Jim-" He finally gasped, feeling some of the slick pool out against his own thighs. Breathing hotly, Khan pressed his lips to Jim's collarbone, his body in shock and recovering from just how strongly the orgasm had affected him.

Jim found a second climax of his own, untouched except for the feral claiming of his ass by his augmented partner.  There was something so intense about the moment that he needed nothing more to respond.  And it seemed only right to add his own mess, even though it was so much less than that of his lover’s, to the proceedings.  He gripped Khan tightly the whole time, whispering his name in his ear, so he might have that to hold on to even as he flew apart in climax.  And when the augment basically collapsed a little under and against him at the end, Jim just kept his arms around tight and continued a soft line of words of praise, punctuated by the words Khan did seem to like so much- ‘my loving Noonien.’

With a breath, Khan just managed to fill his lungs enough to hum, the pleasure of the experience still lingering, not quick to leave his body. "Yes-" He managed to say though, kissing Jim across his chest slowly, lips pressed just over his heart. Lifting his eyes, Khan finally eased his grasp on Jim, something basic in him finally felt that Jim had been properly marked and claimed. Jim would always be his, no matter how long their good-bye. "Your loving Noonien." He repeated back with an almost drunk looking smile. He kissed Jim again, hands dropping to his hips, rubbing gently.

Jim grinned back at the goofy smile, saying, “That’s a good look for you, Noonien.  I like it when you smile that way.  You don’t do it enough.”  He leaned in to press soft kisses all over Khan’s face and nuzzle into his forehead.  “And I obviously have been neglecting your needs, if everything I feel leaking out of me is any indication.  Or maybe you really are just that virile.  Is that it, Noonien?  Are you just that much of a stud?”

Khan scoffed at the comment, feeling that he was being teased. "You make me out to sound like a horse." Still, he nuzzled their faces together, which probably did little to change Jim's mind that Khan was anything but a strange sort of animal hybrid. "You did not neglect my needs, Jim. I was happy to wait until you were well again. But the longer we drew things out today, the more I needed the release." Khan kissed him with another little smile. "My Jim."

“Well, you’re built like a horse,” Jim teased right back, kissing the perfect mouth.  “Now that I’m well again, we can make up for lost time.  Enthusiastically and often.”  He shifted with a slight wince.  “But for now, we better get a shower.  I can’t really drip everywhere and a bit of warmth will be good for my back...and ass.”

With his arms wrapped around Jim securely, Khan leaned forward to help recline his young lover on his back. Kissing the side of his face, Khan carefully let himself slip out, truly making a complete mess as more spilled out now that his cock was no longer keeping everything inside. He groaned at the sight, and felt more than a little accomplished. Jim was his, utterly drench in his scent and his seed.  "Do you want a towel, before you stand up?" Khan offered, hands linger on Jim's body as he pulled back.

Jim smiled at the groan and ran a finger down his chest and into the mess on his stomach.  He then spread his legs to mix that mess with some of the seed dripping on his thighs and fro his hold, before sucking the whole finger into his mouth.  He allowed a low, lusty moan to echo around his finger, as he diligently cleaned off every bit of their mingled juices.  “You like that, Noonien?  Like the way I’m dripping with your release?  Tell me…”

The sight of Jim touching himself like this caught Khan's full attention. His eyes were blown wide and he held his breath for a moment, even though his lips slowly parted as he watched Jim suck his own finger off. "Yes-" He barely managed to breathe, licking his lips. Jim was being sinfully delicious. "I enjoy it." He said, heart pounding ins his chest, having nearly said; I enjoy breeding with you. Jim wouldn't have understood him, he wouldn't have liked that. "I like making love to you, and making you wet with my seed."

“I wish sometimes that I could match your senses,” Jim said as he watched Khan’s reaction.  “I can smell a little bit of our mingled scents, but I know it must be a hundred times more powerful for you.  Which I guess is a good thing?”  He looked at Khan expectantly for an answer.  

"Yes, Jim." Khan said, leaning over him, arms locked so that he was holding himself just over his lover. "It is very erotic for me. It is proof of our union. Sometimes, my scent is so much on you, and yours on me, that I cannot tell where one of us begins and the other ends. For me it is a feeling of being one, a whole, with you."

“Yeah, see, I’d like to feel that way just because of a scent,” Jim said softly.  “I feel that way most when we touch all over.  If you lowered yourself over me now and just let us touch everywhere, skin to skin, I think that’s the closest I can come from just my senses.  So, I’m a little envious that you can smell us together like that.  Though, right now, I smell rather more like you than you do like me, huh?”  He stretched out his arms to smooth up and over the length of Khan’s own, which were keeping him up without any strain at all.  “Show off.”

"You may feel my scent is strong because of the mess I've made of you, but the truth is, I smell us equally right now. I have been rubbing against your skin and kissing your lips and body all evening, these things are lasting imprints on me too, just as much as any come between your thighs." Khan gave Jim another slow kiss. "Still, let us shower Jim. And tonight, if you would like it, I will lay over your body, my skin upon yours, to maintain our union."

“I would like very much to sleep in your arms again tonight,” Jim said.  “You’ve helped me sleep since you saved me, you know.  I don’t think I’ve had fewer nightmares than since you and I started sharing a bed.  I think they’re too afraid to bother me when you’re around.”  He rubbed Khan’s back with broad palms, smiling up at him.  “As much as I don’t really want to move right now, I guess we should go shower.  You wore me out...in a good way.”

"Good. I hope they never return." Khan glad to hear that his presence was strong or forceful enough that Jim's subconscious did not plague him with terrible dreams. Though it also meant concern for him, Jim was family, what would happen when he wasn't there any more? Would he go back to having bad dreams? It was worrying. Petting his hand down Jim's side, Khan then tucked his arms under his body to help pull and scoot him closer to the edge of the bed. "You will feel fresh and clean for it, a good end to our evening."

Jim made a noise of complaint, but then moved his somewhat sore muscles, working to stand up into Khan’s arms.  “Yes.  I like showering with you anyway.  It’s always a nice way to end the day.  Probably can’t splurge on more water, though.”  He sighed in regret at that and lifted his face for another kiss, sweet and lingering.  “I could just stand here and kiss you for awhile, too.  That’s an appealing option.”  

"I understand, Captain." Water was a luxury in the dead of space, Khan understood. Sighing happily, Khan kissed Jim back, keeping his hold on him strong, but his fingertips light and gentle against his skin. "Kissing is not a problem for us, I think. Let us wash, then we shall resume this in bed once more," he said, keeping them on track.

“Always so focused on your goal,” Jim sighed, but stepped back to allow them both to head for the shower.  “We need to spend a day just lounging around in a hammock or something.  Help you focus on just relaxing for a bit.”  He tugged lightly at Khan’s hand, before letting him go and moving to fiddle with the sonic shower controls.  “Sonic showers aren’t much fun for lingering, though.  I guess Starfleet wants everything fast and efficient, too.”  He stepped inside and under the sonic rays, before glancing back at his lover, eager for him to join.  “You might persuade me to stay awhile, though.”

"Perhaps the next planet you vacation on, you can instruct me in the ways of properly relaxing." Khan teased deadpan, stepping in behind Jim, hands moving to his shoulders to massage some of the joints. "I much rather have you back in bed again. A shower without the heat and wetness of water, just isn't fun in the same way." Even so, Khan kept his hands on Jim, keeping him company as they were both cleansed.  

Jim nodded and said, “Yeah, I get it from a conservation and energy standpoint, but it’s not a lot of fun.  And I often feel like I’m not really clean, even though I know I am logically.  The senses just aren’t the same.  Does the sonic shower feel odd to you?”  He turned to let his back clean, looking curiously at his lover.  “Your sense of touch is much more acute than mine.”  He nuzzled into Khan’s neck and then bit lightly.

Whatever answer Khan intended to give was lost as Jim nuzzled into him like that. His eyelids closed, trusting and adoring his lover, glad to keep something of him on his skin, even while the rest was burned away by the sonic lights. "Ah-" Khan seemed to melt a little at the bite, not threatened by what would be considered an act of possession any other day. Slowly his mind rolled around to answering the question Jim had asked. "To me, it feels like a dull blade over the skin ... it is a bland, but gritty sensation, like being bathed in chalk dust."

“Ugh, that sounds awful,” Jim said, wrinkling his nose.  “Let’s get out of here and go to something more comfortable...you do find my bed comfortable, right?  I have high thread count sheets.  It’s one of the perks of being captain.  Also, I just like having something soft to lie on...like you.”  He poked Khan’s hard-as-rock abdomen teasingly, smile huge, before leaving the shower.  He didn’t want to subject his lover to anymore of the sonic rays.  “From here on out, we’ll use water.”

Khan looked down, watching Jim poke his muscles, catching the joke this way. He gave a soft scoff and smiled. "Yes, I find your bed comfortable. I also find your floor comfortable. And your chair comfortable. But those comforts are entirely due to the fact that I am comfortable with you, Jim. That is all I care about." Khan followed him out of the shower, returning to the bedroom. "It is impractical to use water all the time, Jim. I do not mind. I was not intended as a complaint, when I explained my sensation in the sonic shower. It is tolerable and I can manage."  

Jim smiled at the words and kissed his lover.  “You may find the floor comfortable, but I refuse to ask you to sleep on it.  Besides, I’d like to know that you like to sleep in my bed, that you find it comfortable beyond just being with me.  Appreciate the sheets!”  He laughed at his own ridiculousness and stretched himself tall with a long sigh.  “Ahhhh, that feels amazing.  I feel amazing.”  He winced a little as his ass twinged, but then grinned again.  “Well used kind of amazing.”  With a little wink and wiggle in Khan’s direction, he went to flop back on the bed.  “Join me.”

"I appreciate the sheets." Khan said softly, hands slightly raised in mock surrender. But he settled into bed next to Jim with a sigh of his own, stretching out on his side, back arching like a cat before he rolled over onto his back with a smile. With his head turned to the side, Khan laid quietly, watching Jim beside him. "You will sleep well tonight, I think." He said, feeling that the day had properly worn Jim out.

Jim laughed at the Khan’s answer and rolled up into him to kiss him.  “Thank you for admitting to loving the bed.”  He stroked Khan’s chest and stomach with tender fingers, tickling at his navel with a playful grin.  “I will.  With you by my side and being pretty well worn out.  It ought to be a nice, pleasant night.”  His head settled on the pillow next to Khan’s, and his fingers trailed back up to coyly circle a nipple.

"Good night, Jim." Khan said, resting his hand over the one Jim had on his chest, in a way keeping him still, but maintaining their connection. After a few minutes, Khan shifted onto his side again, facing him so that he could hook an arm over his middle to hold him better. Having Jim in his arms provided his young lover with a sense of security, yes, but it also felt good to Khan, who still deeply wanted Jim to stay with him. Not just in his arms, but in is life.

Jim snuggled into Khan and felt sleep tugging him right away.  He marveled in the instant before it overtook him that he had found this kind of emotion with a man who was once a hated enemy.  Truly, life was unpredictable.  And for the moment, wonderful, too.


	17. A Promise Under the Sky

Jim paused at the top of a ravine and gazed out on the turquoise lake below him, eyes wide with wonder.  “That’s awesome!  Let’s go down there!”  He began to scramble down the mountainside, picking his way casually over rough terrain, large boulders and around the large, venomous plants that snapped at all passersby. Fortunately, they were mostly snap, since their poison was designed for the residents of the planet, and even Jim’s tender immune system was not affected.  Still, they could give you a good bite.  

He was well aware of Khan close by him and hoped the augment wouldn’t  insist on trying to stop or carry him or something equally unnecessary.  This was his first Away Mission since his recovery from torture, but he wasn’t a fragile little piece of glass. However, Khan was a bit protective this first time back in the saddle.

The walk to explore the local landscape had been a good idea, suggested by Kirk. It took them away from the native inhabitants, whom Khan regarded with suspicion at all times, overworking his senses, seeing potential ambushes or traps and other threats everywhere. Being people-free had made things a little easier, but only barely. He still worried that he would somehow lose Jim again, so diminishing that risk, Khan kept close to him at all times.

"Take care, Captain. The topsoil is frail slate," he said, not wanting him to slide down the mountainside and be lost in a rockslide he caused. Khan worked his way down, parallel to Jim, keeping him well within sight, and arms reach.

“I’ll be careful, Khan,” Jim called to him with another huge grin, even as he slid a little down the slope.  “Don’t worry so much!  This is the fun part!  We’ve got the bulk of the diplomacy taken care of, so now we can just look around and enjoy things.”  He began to scramble over a large boulder in his path, agile like a mountain goat.  His feet slipped once or twice on the edges, but he kept his balance and jumped to the other side.  “Of course, this would be easier if I was a true augment.”

"I am surprised to hear you say that, Captain." Khan said, following him with ease. It did make it easy on him to see Jim smile and so clearly happy. For a second or two, Khan could almost enjoy himself as well. "I never thought that you would want to be more like me."

“Don’t be a silly ass,” Jim teased and scooted up to the edge of the water.  He carefully took a few readings and then frowned.  “Wow, this is like one of Yellowstone’s springs.  Fall in here and you’re literally cooked.”  He leaned down a little to sniff at the air.  “Don’t smell any sulfur or see much in the way of steam… how odd.”  He began to circle around the brightly colored lake.  “This is much larger than any of the hot springs at Yellowstone.  I wonder if we’re in a huge volcanic caldera here, too.  I didn’t have a chance to look at the geology of the place.”

It was true that augments were designed to be better, but human willpower and diversity was seen as preferable to someone like Khan, who was engineered. It all fell back to the fact that humans were natural, and augments were not. So Khan took it as a small victory that Jim acknowledged a desire to be more like an augment. With his gaze on the horizon, Khan looked to the shoreline on the opposite side, mapping out their location in his head, despite the fact that they had equipment for that sort of thing.

However, at the mention that the water was dangerously hot, just under the surface, Khan immediately grabbed Jim from behind with both arms, locking around his middle and pulled his back. Acting as solid weight and strength, Khan pressed himself against Jim firmly, holding on tight. "It is good that you did not jump in first, and boil after."

“I’m not that crazy,” Jim said and leaned into the strong arms, acknowledging Khan’s worry.  “Not that I was expecting boiling hot water, though.  Maybe dangerous forms of aquatic life or something…”  He frowned at the beautiful lake and said, “I feel cheated.  Something that lovely shouldn’t be so dangerous.  And now I won’t get to see you in your swim trunks.”  He grinned up at his lover and planted a kiss on his jaw.  “C’mon, let’s keep exploring!”

"You have me, don't you? Am I not lovely and dangerous?" Khan let Jim kiss the side of his face with a little smile. Shifting back with Jim still in his arms, Khan made sure they were further from the edge before finally releasing Jim. But even then, Khan stood between Jim and the water, so that even if he tripped, he would fall into the augment first and not into the water.

Jim gave him a little smile and said, “You are both those things, as well you know, Noonien.  However, you are not dangerous to me.  On the contrary, you are bound and determined to keep me safe.  So, you feel like safety to me.”  He moved back to Khan’s side and bumped comfortably into his lover.  “Come on, let’s look at the other side of the lake.”  He scrambled away, though he made sure that he left Khan plenty of room to guard him from the dangers of the lake.  

With a brief kiss to his temple, Khan followed after Jim as he took up the lead again. Despite being on alert for dangers, Khan was enjoying himself. He basked in the white sunlight and found delight in the brightly colored plant life, even the ones that tried to bite them. Though halfway around the lake, Khan stopped them quickly. "Stop, Captain. Look." He said, catching sight of something still quite a ways from them, so he stood next to Jim to point, wanting him to share his excellent line of sight.

Far ahead of them, along the shoreline was a bear-like creature. Bear-like, in the sense that it had a thick frame as large as a bear, but with plated skin that seemed to act as body armor. As the native animal was using jaw, which had a large, shovel like under bite to it, in order to dig up the poisonous plants at their base and discard them again into the water along the shoreline where they were instantly boiled off. The animal then scooped them back up and began to chew on the boiled plant with ease.

“Awesome,” Jim murmured and pulled out his tricorder, taking data and filming the creature.  He direct linked with the Enterprise, so that he could collect more information and make sure it was instantly available for the scientists.  Following his instincts, he began to move toward the animal, hoping to get more details on the creature.  He moved as quietly as possible, hoping not to startle either the creature or his lover, who would probably be just as jumpy.  He glanced back at Khan and flashed him a playful smile, gesturing him onward.  “Lets get closer.”

"Hm." Khan agreed without comment, but it was clear his thought process was something along the lines of: sure, let us get closer to the thing that can scoop you up and toss you into the boiling lake. Though his own sense of curiosity and adventure was high, Khan was indeed still quite protective of Jim, who was his priority in this situation. Dropping down lower so that less of his body was visible the closer the got, Khan moved in complete silence like the perfect predator.

Jim found himself a good spot some few meters from the creature and took some additional readings.  He watched with quiet awe, aware of Khan nearby.  After a few minutes, the creature seemed to finish his meal and sauntered slowly off into the surrounding trees.  Curious, Jim scrambled out from behind the rocks and headed for the remains of the plants that the creature was eating.  “That was amazing,” he said.  “He was cooking his food.”  He was near the boiling water again and knelt to take readings of the plants.  “And somehow, putting part of his head in the water without getting hurt.  Amazing hide, maybe.  I’ll have to look at the readings.  And this plant looks kind of like spinach.”

"I am curious to know if the native inhabitants do the same, or it is unique to this species." Khan moved in close to Jim, eyes on his footing and how his weight was distributed. He had sturdy placement for the disturbed shoreline, but even so, Khan worried. Reaching out, Khan kept a hand on his shoulder, so that if Jim so much as leaned forward in the wrong direction, Khan could pull him safely away. "It may look like spinach, but I would not recommend putting it in your mouth. Though I wonder, if the act of boiling the plant reduces its nutrient levels, along with releasing the poisons."

“Yeah, no eating it,” Jim said with a laugh and a glance up at Khan.  “I’d probably be allergic to it even if it was safe for everyone else.”  He collected a sample for the Enterprise and then stood again.  “Shall we follow the trail?  I bet you can track him and keep us out of his range, too.”  He widened his eyes hopefully at his lover, excited by the idea of using something other than the sensors, which feels like cheating, to see where the creature goes.  

Khan smirked at the request, not one to shy away from showing off. "Yes, I can track him if you like. But you must be willing to follow my direction, Captain, should it come to it." At least following the animal trails also meant taking Jim away from the lake and any future risk of falling in. "Come along then, keep up, if you can." He teased, as in no way would he leave Jim behind, but he knew Jim liked to play rough, to challenge himself. So Khan headed towards the tree line, keeping low to the bulbous, protruding roots of many of the trees, picking out the right set of animal tracks before continuing.

Jim stuck close and did indeed enjoy the chase, dodging branches and trying to keep as silent as possible.  He found himself breathing hard after a bit, since Khan was moving at the edge of his abilities.  But he thrilled at the chase, the elegant way Khan navigated the alien plants, leading toward their target.  His blood was up, and he figured the way this was going to end was him jumping Khan and demanding to be taken there and then.

Stopping behind fallen brush, Khan gave a slow nod towards the other side, where the land dipped down just enough to make for a small stream of water. There, the animal they had been tracking was shoveling up water into his mouth, drinking this source of water safely. They were much closer then they had been before, though Khan had kept them on the high ground and still with a few natural barriers between them and the animal. "You should take a picture." Khan mouthed, without uttering a sound. Though as Khan sat back to enjoy the sight of the animal going about its natural business, Khan was momentarily distracted by a small swarm of red and pink birds that were eating small buds from the tree's very tops. "Look." He pointed upwards with a singer hand, entranced by the way they moved, drifting as a group from one tree to another like a small cloud.

Jim grinned at the sight and pulled out his tricorder to take readings, watching the birds and the ‘bear’ equally.  He loved this part of exploration and sharing it with Khan made it even better.  He gestured to his lover to take the tricorder and make a few readings on his own.  He wanted to see what would interest his lover in terms of their surroundings, not to mention watch that mind in action.  His Khan was amazing in all ways, but getting to see him in this kind of role was not something he got to see often enough.

Accepting the offer, Khan began to fine tune the tricorder so that he could record the subsonic bird song that buzzed above them, remembering the massive database that the Enterprise carried in her databanks and wanted to add to it. As he recorded the birdsong that was outside normal human hearing in raw form, Khan also recorded clips of how the birds flocked together as a whole, then also a few tight shots of individual birds, trying to capture the difference between any of those of different size or ever so slight color variation, which he surmised had more to do with age, rather than gender. In the process of taking his readings however, the birds finally began to move on to other trees that were further away from where the two had bunked down. So looping the tricorder strap around his neck and shoulder, Khan began to climb one of the massive trees without warning. "I want a sample of the buds they were eating," he explained.

“Don’t fall,” Jim teased softly and then watched his lover climb the tree, before glancing back at the bear.  He had finished his drink and began to amble off into the trees.  He eased himself to sit at the trunk to wait for Khan to return.  And while he did, he watched the birds flying around through the canopy.  With a smile, he stroked over the bark with a soft humming noise.  When Khan returned, he planned to invite him for a little more private exploration.

It took Khan a few minutes to reach the top point he wanted to get to, but did so with ease and confidence. He took a few samples of the tree buds and even a few visual recordings of the landscape at that height. He had seen the bear wander off too, so he felt confident that Jim would not be discovered in his absence. Even so, Khan did not want to leave his side for very long and made his descent. And though his boots were scuffed and his hands were dirty from the climb, Khan was completely unscathed once he let himself drop down to the forest floor once more. "Here you are, Captain," he said, finally returning the tricorder to him. "I believe I have gathered some useful information for your crew and for your database."

“Come down here and show me, Noonien,” Jim invited and stretched out his hand.  He leaned further back into the tree with a grin.  “We’re all alone out here.  You have me at your mercy.”  He smiled at his lover, eyes warm and full of humor.  “And I so do like being at your mercy.”

Accepting his hand, Khan knelt down before Jim, before moving to all fours to loom over him. "Jim." He purred, eyes locked on him. "You are indeed at my mercy." He said, slowly attempting to play along, knowing Jim had shared his fantasy, very similar to this. "You are trapped here with me, no help for miles." Khan pressed one hand to Jim's hip, the other to his shoulder, effectively pinning him down before he arched his neck to kiss him.

Jim slipped his arms around Khan’s strong back and threaded one hand deep into his hair.  He kissed back with remarkable enthusiasm, sucking eagerly at Khan’s tongue and welcoming him in deep.  His other hand fisted into the black material of the generic outfit Khan still wore, which he made look so much sexier than should be possible.  “Noonien,” he whispered in a moment’s pause for breath, “you always make me ache all over for you.  Watching you track through the trees and then climb like a monkey. You’re fucking sexy.  And I want you.  Want you to show me how strong you are...out here, with nobody else around.”

Khan gave a low purr mixed with a groan as Jim fisted his hair and kissed him. The way Jim wanted him was proving to be quite addicting. "I make you ache?" Khan repeated with a subtle, devilish smile. Dropping his hips, Khan pressed more of his weight into Jim, trapping him under his body. "My Jim." He said, a touch of his possessiveness slipping into his tone. "You are mine. You will always be mine to have." Khan kissed him hard, enjoying how eager Jim was to suck on his tongue. "Tell me again, how much you want me." He said with a careful bite to his lips. "Tell me, Jim."

Jim groaned and said, “You should know that by now, Noonien, but I do like telling you.  I just have to think about you and my heart starts pounding harder and I want to be near you again.  I itch all over to touch and caress, even in a room full of people when I know I can’t...and when we’re alone, I just want to revel in you...with you.  And that’s when I ache all over, Noonien.  My loving Noonien.”  He pressed a kiss to the mouth that had just bitten him.  “Is that what you wanted to hear?  That you and you alone are what I want and need now?”

"Yes, Jim." Khan let his hand slip from Jim's shoulder to the side of his neck, up finally to cup his jaw. It was important for Khan to hear this, as to him it meant that Jim was just as bonded to him as Khan was to his younger lover. Staring into those beautiful eyes, Khan then kissed him a little more gently, sweeter and lingering. "Your loving Noonien. Now and always. Your strong lover and powerful augment. And you, my Jim ... alone or in a room of hundreds, or a planet of millions, you Jim, will always be mine."

Jim’s expression turned slightly more serious, but he agreed without hesitation, “Yes, I will.  And I am.”  He continued to stroke the back of Khan’s neck tenderly, caressing the curls at his nape with gentle fingers.  “I want to make love with you, Noonien.  Out here.  Under the bright sky and the sun, where the wind can touch us all over.  But I’ll only feel you around and in me.  May we do that, Noonien?”

"Yes, Jim." Khan said, liking the sound of that. Even with the raw wilderness around them to stimulate their senses, Khan would prove himself stronger, keeping Jim's attention entirely. "Undress me, Jim." Khan said between kisses, wanting Jim to keep his hands on him at all times. "Strip me down of everything, until you have what you want." He said, not ashamed to be fully naked like something wild out in nature, nor on the other hand did he mind if Jim only wanted to expose a single part of him so that he could have a quick, needful fuck.

“Let me get to your feet then,” Jim whispered and kissed him softly.  He wiggled around so he could slowly remove Khan’s boots and socks.  Then he pressed a single kiss to the ball of each foot, unashamed of that sign of devotion and yes, love, for the augment.  He turned back around to tug Khan’s tunic off, setting it aside carefully.  His hands scraped along bare expanse of Khan’s back, even as his mouth makes a leisurely voyage of kisses up from his abdomen.  He takes advantage of Khan’s current allowance to suck on his left nipple, feasting at it as enthusiastically as any babe.

Khan was stunned silent as he watched Jim kiss his feet. Khan had shown Jim similar reverence shortly after he had been rescued from his captors and free from torture. So Khan was touched very deeply when Jim did this now, feeling there was a strong meaning to it, whether Jim intended it or not. "Jim." Khan gasped his name, eyes lightly closing as his back naturally arched under the scrape of nails. "Ah- yes, very good." He praised, cupping the back of Jim's skull, fingers pressing into his scalp as he supported his head, enjoying Jim's mouth on him as he grew hard.

Jim smiled and kissed the nipple, before moving to give the other side equal treatment. He loved the way the nub hardened under his mouth, peaking in a way that made it even easier to suck.  But he let it go as well and stole the softest kiss of Khan’s mouth.  “Help me undress, too?” he asked, already toeing off boots and socks.  “I want to feel your body all over mine.”  He nipped at Khan’s left ear and then his throat, knowing he liked that.

Lifting his chin slightly, Khan hummed as Jim exploited all his little turn-ons. Lips parted, Khan gave a pleasurable little gasp as a hot shiver rolled down his spine. Eager for skin, Khan slid his hands under the Captain’s tunic, seeking out the warmth of his lover's skin. Wanting that naughty mouth, Khan kissed him hard, groaning softly as he pushed the fabric of his tunic up his chest, then paused and parted their lips just enough so that he could pull it off his head. "... love your mouth on me, Jim ... does things to me ..." He said before kissing him again while he pinned Jim against the ground with one hand, his other tugging at his pants.

Jim tilted his head and kissed him eagerly, moaning softly into Khan’s mouth.  He arched his body a little to help ease the pants over his hips and ass.  The hand that otherwise held him in place aroused him unbelievably, and he shivered under the strong, possessive touch.  But his own hands also reached for Khan’s pants, tugging at the fabric to encourage him to remove them, as well.  After all, he was now naked under his lover and wanted Khan to be equally, gloriously nude above him.  “Please,” he murmured.

Khan was quick to shift out of his pants, using one hand for only a moment before it went back to grabbing a shallow fistful of hair at the base of Jim's head. Keeping this hold, Khan kissed him again, this time sucking on his tongue, teasing and suggestive. "Beautiful-" He breathed, his hand gliding down the front of Jim's stomach. "My Jim." Khan nuzzled their noses together as the augment gathered his words. "Allow me to prepare you." He said, licking Jim on the lips as a tease of a kiss, but also to imply what he had in mind.

Jim flicked his tongue out to meet Khan’s and said, “Whatever you like, Noonien.”  He lifted his legs and wrapped them about Khan’s hips, tilting his pelvis in open offer.  His mouth continued its explorations of long neck and strong shoulders, before biting down on Khan’s collarbone, sucking up a mark that would not last long enough.  He loved being called beautiful by Khan and hoped the compliment would be repeated often.  “Take it slow?” he asked softly, stroking through Khan’s hair.

"Ah, Jim." Khan growled his name pleasantly. His eyes lightly closed and his head dropped forward as Jim bit his neck, leaving a slight pink mark on his skin that would be quick to fade. Though the truth of it was, he could stand to take more, to have something lasting. "Yes Jim." He answered, "Very slow." He purred, pressing his lips to Jim's shoulder, kissing his way down his chest. "I will ease you open, until I feel you open up to me." He said, petting both hands down Jim's body, ensuring that he was still warm in the open air before his hands pressed against the back of his thighs, keeping him in lovely open position he was in as Khan bowed himself down between his parted legs and began to kiss his hip bone, then nuzzle his cock.

Jim hummed contentedly at the touches to his whole body, the warm strength of Khan’s hands making him shiver and moan softly.  “Fuck, Noonien.  Please.  Touch me all over.  I love your hands.”  He lifted his hips even higher, bumping his cock a bit more into Khan’s face, where he was being nuzzled already.  He hoped for his mouth on both his erection and on his hole, wondering if he would go that far.  “I need you.”

Khan smiled against Jim's skin, glancing up at his lover, then letting his eyes close, relaxed as he pressed gentle kisses against the side of Jim's erection. Slipping his tongue against the underside of his shaft, Khan sucked gently, wetting the skin. Soon however, one hand began to take over where his mouth left off, rubbing his thumb against his length, Khan massaged his lover's sex. This then gave him room to bow his head down further and lick at the cleft of sweet skin between his balls and his lovely ass. Khan slowly pumped his hand over Jim's cock, squeezing and teasing just enough as he pressed his tongue to Jim's ass, lapping at the tight muscle, groaning with delight at the effort of working him open.

“Oh, fuuuuuuck, Noonien,” Jim groaned and arched even more into the lovely tongue playing on his ring.  He loosened his muscles to allow for deeper stabbing into his ass, fingers digging into the ground, since he couldn’t reach his lover as easily.  Though he twisted a little to allow one hand to pet and pull at the long, black locks.  “So good.  Please.  I want you in me so bad.  My Noonien!”  He bucked into the mouth, but then stilled himself, not wanting to demand too much physically.  Especially since Khan is using his amazing tongue inside him.  That’s such a decadently dirty sensation.

Khan, however, could not be rushed. He was enjoying Jim's ass, licking and plunging into his hole, tonguing him and listening to him moan in pleasure. Glancing up a few times, Khan caught sight of Jim enjoying himself, which only spurred Khan on more. Working his tongue inside his lover, over and over again, Khan made him sloppy wet with his mouth, not pulling back for breath until he was certain Jim was ready for more.

"So eager, my lover ... I think you are ready for me, Jim." Khan said, pulling his head up just enough so that he could kiss the inside of Jim's thighs, then the top, over the hip bone. With his thumb, Khan tested the wet entrance, pushing gently against the muscle, easing his thumb in. "Yes, I think you are quite ready." He said, letting his thumb wiggle a little to keep Jim open and relaxed to him.

“Fuck,” Jim purrs and relaxes back into the ground, ass high in the air and presented for his lover.  “I am ready, Noonien.  Always ready to take that big, gorgeous cock into my body.  I want you so deep inside me, making me full.  So good.”  He licked his lips hungrily and balanced himself on his arms, wanting to give himself leverage to meet the thrusts which were to come. "Noonien...I know you don’t always like to pretend.  But we’re here, alone.  I want you to forget that I’m a Starfleet Captain.  I’m just your Jim, your lover, who wants to please you and give you everything you want.  Don’t hold back this time.  Please.”

"My Jim." Khan repeated back slowly, the concept well seared into his brain. But the offer was impressive. Just Jim. Just his lover. Just his. For a moment, Khan would not have to share Jim with Starfleet or his crew. He did not have to share him with anyone, or give him up in the end. Jim was his, entirely. "My Jim." He said again, working himself up, hunger and passion for his lover showing through in his eyes and in his voice.

Pulling his thumb out carefully so that the muscles did not snap close too quickly, Khan guided his cock against his entrance and paused. Wrapping both arms around his lover, to help hold him, Khan then gave a good thrust, breaching him with a satisfied growl. "My Jim." He said almost darkly, face buried against his lover's chest, lips just over his heart. "Mine to take. Mine to have. My Jim." He said, pushing out all other thoughts. Rolling his hips, Khan began to slowly fuck his lover, taking him in his own time, wanting to enjoy every inch of skin, every gasp for breath and every work on his lips. "I will mark you, just here." He said in warning, letting his lips linger over a spot on Jim's shoulder, just at the base of his neck.

Jim groaned loudly as his body was breached all the way by Khan’s thrust and wrapped his arms tight around the strong back of his lover.  His true lover now.  The darkly possessive tone made him shiver and moan even more, shivering at how much he wanted to be claimed in that moment by his augment.  Their bodies worked together in perfect harmony, each thrust plunging Khan deeper into Jim’s depths.  “Yes!  Your Jim!  I want to be yours!  Love you so much!”

The words echoed in his ears, but he didn’t take them back.  Instead he let his head fall to the side to give permission for Khan to bite and mark him.  “Mark me.  Yes.  I love your marks.  They never last long enough.  Noonien!”

"You are mine, Jim." Khan said, whispering it against his lover's neck, nuzzling the spot just under his ear, basking in his scent. "You will always be mine." He said, fingers digging into his back, leaving small bruises over his delicate skin. "My Jim ... I take you, as my love." He said, then licked at the spot on Jim's shoulder, soothing it before he bit down with a groan, not letting up as he made love to Jim, delving deep into his body, holding him as he writhed in his arms, and felt the heat and pulse of him against his tongue and lips.

“Fuck!” Jim yelled at the sharp bite, even as his cock squirted a little precum from the sensation.  He was unbearably turned on by the words, as much as by the physical sensation of being marked and fucked.  His fingers scraped down the broad planes of Khan’s back to the curve of his ass, which was thrusting relentlessly into him.  “Yes!  Take me!  I want you to!  I’m yours!  My Noonien!”  He could feel musky sweat pouring off various of his body parts, even as his cock spurts and dribbles with every move of their bodies.  He feels his need to release build up, an overpowering wave which he knew might shake him apart when it finally broke.      

"Good, good-" Khan purred, dragging his tongue over the sore spot he had just marked. "My beautiful lover, my Jim ... my fragile human, and yet strong enough to take me." Khan kissed and licked at his neck sweetly. "I may come for you soon, Jim. But I am not done with you yet, my lover. I want to spill into you, fill you with my seed. Then take you all over again." He said, whispering these words to Jim, biting carefully at his ear.

“Noonien,” Jim whined softly and turned his head to kiss at Khan’s face and lips and neck, before tightening his ass deliberately around the cock inside him.  “Please come inside me.  I want your seed.  And then you can do it again.  And again.  As many times as you can.  I’m strong enough to take as much as you want to give me. I’m your lover.  I want you to be satisfied by me.”  He sealed their mouths together and demanded Khan’s tongue, sucking and biting it. 

The idea of Khan claiming his body multiple times just made him run hotter.  His engine revved to the point of near pain, and he shook a little in Khan’s arms.  “Let me come?  Please.  I’m so close.  I need release.  Please.”  He rubbed their cheeks together, almost submissively.

Sliding in against the tightening resistance, Khan knew all it would take was to feel Jim spasm and orgasm in order for him to come as well. "Oh, Jim-" Khan purred, kissing the side of his face. He had never heard Jim ask for permission like this, and though it was a small gesture, Khan did not take it lightly. "I have you, my love. Come for me. Let me watch you. I have you, Jim." Khan said, rocking Jim in his arms, hands wide against his back, supporting his trembling body.

Jim did indeed spill between them with a long cry of pleasure, all tied up in the name ‘Noonien.’  His body nearly locked up around the cock deep inside him, squeezing around his lover.  But his own orgasm lasted and lasted, draining out of him a huge amount of release.  He bit down into Khan’s strong right shoulder at the absolute height of pleasure, before releasing his hold as his body relaxed a little bit.  “Fuck,” he murmurs and licks over his lips.  “Wow.”

Feeling Jim tighten around him and cry out his name was enough to push the augment into a shared orgasm as well. His face was relaxed and blissful as a came, letting go of the heat that had been building up behind his groin. He spilled inside Jim with ease, rocking his lover tightly in his arms, wanting him to feel safe as he let go. Though the bite to his shoulder had surprising results, as the augment gasped sharply as his hips bucked, coming in his lover for a second time instantly. Chest rising and falling, Khan had found the shared experience deeply erotic, and was having some difficulty recovering from it as quickly as he had in the past. "Jim." He breathed, turning his face into his lover's neck, kissing and licking the skin there, adoring the sweet and salty taste of his skin. "Beautiful." He groaned, then glanced down between them. Without hesitation, Khan rubbed his fingers over the slick across his stomach, coating his body with Jim's seed before tasting a sample of it on two fingers, sucking leisurely with a satisfied smile.

Jim smiled a little at the sight of Khan sucking his seed off his fingers and then slumped contentedly into his arms, completely relaxed and obviously adoring of Khan.  Some final waves of pleasure shivered through him, and he murmured some nonsense words of affection into Khan’s skin.  He stroked all of the skin under his fingers, in a lazy way, enjoying the softness that contrasted so well with the rest of Khan’s strength.  “Again?” he asked softly.  “Please.”

Shifting his hold, Khan kept one arm hooked around Jim's back and then reached up with his other hand to spread his fingers against his scalp and in his short hair. "My Jim." He said, kissing him on the lips gently, groaning softly as he slid into his lover again, taking him slowly at first. "You feel so good, Jim." He praised, taking the time to enjoy long, deep thrusts while his body was still warm and wet with his seed. "My beautiful lover, I enjoyed watching you lose yourself."

“Oh,” Jim gasped as Khan penetrated him again, just as deep as before.  “Noonien.”  He massaged Khan’s back and neck with gentle fingers, too worn out to do anything more.  His body accepted the new thrusts of his lover with ease, however, still eager to give Khan what he needed.  “Yes.  Keep going, my loving Noonien.  I’m here with you...my body is for you.  Whatever you want and need.  Go on.”  

Keeping their bodies pressed together, Khan nuzzled the sides of their faces together, then pressed his nose against Jim's neck, head remaining bowed as Jim gave his gentle massage. Licking his lips, Khan's senses swam with their lovemaking, the fusion of their two bodies. "Jim ..." He began, trying to keep calm, even though he was working himself up. "I need you again." He said, easing Jim onto his back, looking down into his bright blue eyes, "I need you again." He said once more, his need and hunger for Jim's body surfacing as he began to claim him all over again, thrusting into him hard. His fingertips curled in like claws, leaving fresh bruises, but it was clear Khan was not giving up the precious man in his arms. "Jim, I need you." He panted. And for a moment it was clear that Khan was not meaning that he needed Jim in the act of lovemaking, it was more then that, much more lasting.

“You have me,” Jim murmured back.  “You have me, Noonien.”  He made a slightly distressed noise at the grip on his arms, since the augment’s hands were tight.  But the pleasure eased any pain, especially as his erection started to stir again.  “Fuck.  Like a teenager,” he groaned and moved a little into the thrusts, unable to stop himself despite the weariness in his bones.  His eyes found Khan’s, filled with adoration, trust and longing, and blinked at him, searching his gaze for the same emotions.  And finding them, he smiled and murmured, “I’m all yours, Noonien.”

Generally Khan was well aware of his strength, as he had not meant to hurt Jim, but the whimper clued him in and he eased his hold. And later, when he discovered the bruises he left behind, Khan would be very apologetic for it, but for now, the desire for Jim was still too strong. His large hands pressed over Jim's body, up his torso, pressing down on his shoulders, then down the length of his chest to settle firmly on his hips. "Jim-" Khan panted his name between kissing his lover on the lips. With every muscle, every nerve burning with need and heat, Khan became rough with Jim, on the edge of something wild. His sharp eyes were transfixed on Jim, taking his lover, claiming his body. Though in an instant, every muscle went rigid, and every joint locked up to the point that his back seemed to tremble as he gasped, coming for a third time. Heart pounding and ears ringing, Khan gasped, managing a soft, adoring "Jim." before his lips settled on kissing Jim along his neck again, slowly, as his body shivered a few more times, the sensation of his orgasm still spreading through every inch of his body. 

“Whoa,” Jim whispered at Khan’s third orgasm and felt another trickle of seed dribble out of his ass, sliding down the skin.  “That’s my Noonien.”  He arched his neck to allow Khan to reach even more skin, humming as each kiss landed on his skin.  “Are you all right?” he asked, pressing his own kisses wherever his mouth could reach.  His own cock laid hard between them still, aching a little bit.  But that was totally secondary to everything else.  

He felt claimed in that moment.  Completely and totally Khan’s.  And that was a wonderful feeling, he realized, to be with someone else.  “Your Jim,” he affirmed.

Letting some of his weight settle down on top of Jim, Khan smiled against his skin and gave a small nod. "Yes," he said quietly, almost sounding shy. Sliding his hands over Jim's body again, Khan felt deeply satisfied, everything he was touching was his Jim, his lover, his love. Khan kissed him on the lips, pulled his head back a little to look at him properly and in doing so caught sight of the marks he had left on Jim's body. "Are you alright, Jim?" He asked, hoping it hadn't been too much, or that he had caused Jim pain.

“I’m still hard,” Jim answered with a little wiggle of his hips.  “But I’m good otherwise.”  He was a little sore in a few places, such as his ass and where Khan had gripped him a little too tightly.  “Oh, and I’m leaking.”  He smiled up at Khan with deep affection and remaining desire. “You claimed me well.”

Glancing down between them, Khan began to slide his hand over Jim's thigh, then looked back to his lover. His own cock was starting to soften and wouldn't keep Jim plugged up for much longer. Even so, he wanted to stay like this for as long as he could manage. "Well-" He said, letting the palm of his hand glide over Jim's erection, "Shall I help you with that?" He asked, offering small, light kisses to Jim's lips.

“Please.  Touch me, Noonien.  Please.  All over?”  Jim moaned and lifted his hips into the hand on his cock, as much as still being filled and also being exhausted, would allow him.  He slid his hands over the strong muscles of Khan’s chest and stomach, collecting some of the slick and spreading it even more into his lover’s skin.  “Don’t pull out.  Want you to stay inside me.  I want to stay connected to my Noonien.”

"Yes, Jim." Khan slowly rubbed the flat of his hand over Jim's cock, trapping it between the palm of his hand and Jim's stomach, gently stimulating, without too much pressure. His other hand over slid up the length of Jim's body, over his chest, where Khan bowed his head down to kiss, mouth lingering upon a few small bruises which he kissed reverently and apologetically. "Yes-" He purred, "Keep marking me like that." He said, approving of the way Jim was using his cum to scent and mark his body in return.

“You don’t mind?” Jim groaned and arched up into the hands on his body, loving how Khan knew how to touch him.  “Don’t mind wearing my scent and seed, too?”  Khan’s softening cock shifted inside him, and he clamped down a little to try and keep him there, hoping that his lover was not too sensitive.  “Oh, your mouth is so lovely. I want it all over my body, tasting and marking and making me feel so good.”  He continued to work his release into Khan’s skin, even as his body thrust more into the tender hand on his crotch.  “Please.  Please.  Please.”

Letting his hand lead the way, Khan continued to touch Jim all over, kissing and licking the salt from Jim's skin, his mouth soothing bruises and bite marks, while leaving a few extra nips along his collarbone and throat. Though as Jim clenched around him, Khan groaned lowly, another hot shiver climbing up his spine. He was indeed very sensitive right now, which meant his hips bucked slightly, pushing to keep himself in, managing to stay half hard the more Jim touched him in return. "I like it. I can carry your scent on me longer." Khan said. This response was of course much different from the man he had been months ago, who had been wary against Jim coming against him, feeling it was an act of dominance. Things had changed since then, as Khan had mellowed in his beliefs, allowing for a better sense of equality between them.

“Can you come again?” Jim asked as Khan groaned and pushed back inside his body.  “Do you want to?”  He smiled to hear that his lover wanted his scent all over him, as well, especially since Jim knew himself to be well and truly marked.  Claimed.  “I wish there was someone who could see us now,” he murmured, half dreamily.  “I’d like someone to see us and understand how you’ve claimed me and how much I love it.  But you’d get all protective and fierce about it, wouldn’t you?”

At even mentioning someone else watching them, hypothetically intruding upon their private union, Khan growled softly, a steady rumble in his chest. The possessive flare kept him hard too, making it all the easier to roll his hips and thrust himself a little further inside his lover as if to make a point; yes, Jim was his. "Who would you want to see? Who do you want to know, that you are mine? My Jim?" Khan pressed his lips to Jim's neck, kissing the tender skin carefully. "Who shall I prove it to, other then you?"

“Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Jim gasped as Khan suddenly hardened and pushed back into him again.  “Hit your buttons.”  He soothed his lover with kisses to his cheeks and mouth.  “Nobody in particular,” he promised, though he thought of all the people who accused him of never being able to take things seriously or being emotionally immature.  But somehow, he had bound himself to a man with the most rigid emotional code he had ever met.  “You wouldn’t like that?  Showing that we’ve chosen each other, that I have willingly given myself to you?”  He licked a small trickle of musky sweat from Khan’s body, shivering.

"I-" Khan hesitated, his hand settling over Jim's wrist, then finally interlocking with his fingers. There would be no concealing the truth of his heart now, if he admitted to what he wanted, what he knew he couldn't have. "I would not do it to show you off, like a prize ... but I believe strongly in our union, Jim, is that what you mean?" Khan hesitated again, kissing Jim on his shoulder, showing affection to the mark he had left upon him. "I would call you husband, if I could, my Jim." He admitted at last. "A title I believe would express that we have chosen one another, that we are partners and lovers, a union not to be undone."

Those blue eyes, which had been half-closed in dreamy pleasure, widened instantly at the words, staring up at Khan with perfect disbelief that morphed into pride, then warmth, then happiness, tinged with a hint of sorrow at the knowledge that it could never be.  “You would?  Me?”  He twined his own fingers to meet Khan’s hold.  “God,yes.  My answer is yes.  Let’s do that, Noonien.  Even if we’re the only ones who know.”  He pushed back into Khan’s body.  “Claim me again.  Now.  Please.  With this body, I thee worship.”

"We are the only ones that know." Khan repeated back gently, then kissed Jim soundly. Khan felt tremendous relief give him new life. Jim had not dismissed his words as a joke or belittle their meaning. Nor had he shown fear or panic at the concept. Instead, Khan saw happiness and delight, both in Jim's eyes and in his words. "Jim. My husband." At being allowed to use this word freely, a light bliss filled Khan, which showed through calm, easy movements as he began to make love to his Jim, his husband once more.

"And I-" He breathed, letting their lips brush as he spoke, "your loving Noonien, am your husband." Thrusting steadily, Khan groaned as he felt Jim's body still open to him. While every nerve in his own body felt like liquid fire, hot and burning through him, highly stimulated in every way. Licking a spot on Jim's throat, Khan gave a sweet whimper, which perhaps now gave clue to the meaning behind the times he had done it before; it was a sign of deep emotion and love, that the augment had difficulty expressing another way. "My Jim. My husband. You are mine." He said, teeth scraping across delicate skin.

“A shame, really,” Jim moaned softly.  “I would have made a lovely groom.”  But the sweetness of Khan’s actions swept anyway any other non-serious remarks Jim might have made.  It was obvious he had deeply touched his lover, and the response in turn made Jim’s insides turn to mush.  The new rhythm pleased his somewhat overtaxed body, as well, feeling both pleasant and relaxing.  He gripped Khan around the hips with his legs and around the shoulders and head with his hands.  The licks sent shivers up and down his already pleased nerves, until he was moaning softly in constant delight.  

“Oh, God, this is so good, Noonien.  You’re so good to me.  I don’t want anyone else.  Not ever again.  Fuck.  Husband.”  Jim wondered in the dim part of his brain not overwhelmed by everything else if there was some way to mark their agreement beyond words, even if only they would ever know.  A ring...he’d like that.

Not needing a ceremony, the approval of his own people, or Jim's crew either, Khan was supremely satisfied to be able to call Jim, husband. It was what he had silently felt in his heart, and so being able to honor that connection to his lover out loud, was all he really wanted. "Jim- I have you." He said, arms strong and supportive around his back, hands flat and warm against his skin. "Beautiful-" He whispered against his neck, tucking his head there as he drowned in his husband's scent. Feeling it set an important tone, Khan remained gentle in his lovemaking, rutting in deep and slow, keeping a tight union of their bodies. Though the sensation was driving him wild, intoxicating him, and soon he was panting against Jim's skin, leaving little bites between whispered words. "My Jim. My husband. I need you, Jim. I need you."

“And I you,” Jim answered back, whimpering at all the stinging bites that nonetheless brought him great pleasure.  “I’m so close, Noonien.”  He petted at Khan’s hair, wanting to kiss him, but feeling that the bites were leading somewhere perhaps.  Anyway, they were important to his lover for sure. “Take what you need from me, Noonien.  Husband.  Anything you want.  I’m here.  You’ve got me.”  He groaned deep as Khan struck that sensitive place inside him on a particularly lovely stroke, eyes whiting out for a second.

"Jim-" Khan purred his name, the speed of his thrusts increasing as he claimed Jim once more. "You've given me everything, Jim. You've given yourself to me, over and over again my love. Tell me what you need ... tell me, husband, how you want to be taken." Khan had taken Jim slow and sweetly, as well as rough and hard, but now he wanted it from his lover's lips, his desire, his need for his augmented lover as they sealed this secret union.

“I want your kisses,” Jim said, not needing anything else from his lover, as his body sang so sweetly under his current treatment.  “And after, I want more of them.  And sweet words from you, Noonien.  You say I am beautiful, but I do like to hear it.”  He clamped down a little on his impalement.  “I don’t need anything more.  You’re treating me perfectly, Noonien.  I swear to you.  Fuck.”

"Yes. Anything." Khan let their noses brush before he began to kiss Jim, open mouthed and sensual as their tongues slipped against the other. Gently teasing his fingertips down Jim's spine, Khan held his precious lover as a familiar tightness built up just behind his pelvis. "Ah, so good Jim ... one more time, come for me. Please, Jim." Khan whispered before kissing him again.

Jim whimpered into the kiss, even as whatever pitiful amount remained to spill basically oozed between them.  But the sensations were as powerful, more powerful, than before, and dragged on and on in a series of waves, that left him shaking, panting and satiated in Noonien’s arms.  He held on as tightly as he could with arms that were weak from exertion and pleasure because he needed to keep Noonien close, wanting to share the delight of his climax.  His mouth continued languidly kissing his lover’s, open and warm.  

"Beautiful, Jim." Khan praised, completely adoring as his lover let himself go one final time, too tired to hold back with even the smallest inhibitions, not that Jim Kirk had many to begin with. "Absolutely gorgeous." He said, licking the sweat from Jim's neck, groaning to be so saturated in his scent and taste and skin. "You will always be my husband." He said quietly, knowing that many changes were coming, but that Khan would always regard him with this title, at least in his heart. "Oh, Jim- one more time ... you're so strong, you can take me one more time-" There was pride in these words of encouragement, Jim Kirk could handle him, on every front, and that was no easy thing. Kissing those sweet lips again, Khan took a final gasp before his body completely still, his face serenely blank as a powerful orgasm surged through his body until his spine melted out from under him and his head lulled forward, face pressed to Jim's shoulder, breathing quietly as he held Jim in his arms.

Jim smiled contentedly beneath Khan and stroked his bare back with gentle fingers, though he did not move them very far.  He felt both extremely tired and extremely pleased with himself.  He had truly satisfied his lover, to the point where he was collapsed on top of him, a warm and loved weight.  And he was loved.  Fuck.  The notion would be terrifying, if it didn’t also make Jim feel light and heady.  

“I love you,” he whispered, just to try the words aloud.  And yeah, it was the strangest thing to hear himself say.  So, he repeated it, just to be sure it still sounded right, “I love you.”  And then he laughed quietly to himself, pressing his face into the soft hair on Khan’s head.  “My Noonien, my fucking amazing augment.”

Khan kept his body at rest over Jim's, feeling his heart throb in his chest, and to the hypersensitive augment, it felt like it was shaking him with each pulse. So the gentle fingers against his back were very calming. Slowly though, Khan lifted his head to make eye contact with Jim once more. "And I love you." He said, kissing the side of his face slowly. "I don't want to let you go." He added with a whisper, "I don't want to move right now. Can you stay like this in my arms a little while longer, Jim?" He asked, not wanting his lover to be in pain or too sore to remain how they were.

“Yes, I’d like that,” Jim said and kissed each of Khan’s cheeks in a lazy, but affectionate, way.  He sighed and said, “Nobody’s ever said that to me before, you know.  Until you.”  He nuzzled his lover and murmured, “I guess that’s only right, huh?  You inspire strong emotions in everyone, including me.”  He sighed and shifted just a little to find the most comfortable way to just relax.

"I am surprised to hear this." Khan admitted, thinking that surely others would have fallen for Jim, declare their love for him, or even had his share of liars as former lovers too. "But I am happy that you feel as strongly about me." He added, letting their noses brush. "Jim." Khan sighed his name, quite content to rest with his lover like this after such intense lovemaking.

“Noonien,” Jim repeated back just as happily and curled his hand around the curve of one strong shoulder, too tired to keep moving anymore.  “I might fall asleep right under you.  You wore me out with your lovemaking skills.  Crazy augment.”  He was completely affectionate when he said it, meaning only the best.  And his lips when they touched Khan’s lightly were warm and loving.  “Feel safe and protected here.”

"I admit, I have no desire to be responsible. I have no desire to return you to the Enterprise right now." Which was indeed a change for him, he was being selfish in this moment, which was not something Khan generally indulged in. "If you can sleep, you are welcome to do so. I will not be insulted, Jim. You will in fact remain safe in my arms." Khan even cupped one hand against the side of Jim's head, supporting it against the ground, while he lightly fingered his soft hair.

“No desire to be responsible?  You?  Oh, my Noonien, I am a terrible influence on you after all.” Jim laughed softly and pressed into the fingers on his head, delighted that Khan would try and act as a pillow for him.  “Very comfy and accommodating, though.”  He looked up at Khan through his half-closed eyes, sleep obviously pulling at him.  “Tell me what you’re thinking?”

Slowly thumbing his temple, Khan considered how to answer, not wanting to worry Jim when he was so obviously relaxed. "I am thinking about you, Jim. How freeing it was to regard you as, my Jim. My lover and partner. To think of you as my husband." Of course, when they returned to the Enterprise, Jim would once again be Captain, a role Khan respected, but it meant sharing, and not having Jim all to himself, as they were now.

“Don’t have to stop regarding me that way,” Jim said around a yawn and a sleepy smile.  “I always think of you as my Noonien.  I want to be your husband always.”  He shifted again and grumbled, “Think you’re not going to be inside me much longer.”  And there was definite regret that Khan’s augmentations did not extend that much further.  Not that he could complain...he’d never had such an experience before, not with any lover.  And what he felt inside him was so deep, something he’d never have known without Khan.  He tightened his arms in a weak hug, wishing he was up for more.

Khan gave a simple nod as he naturally slipped out, his own body needing a rest as well, even if he was not as willing to admit it. Gently though, Khan helped Jim close his legs, though immediately curled up beside him, arms and legs both tangled around his lover, holding him still. "I know you are sore, Jim. What can I rub while you rest?" He said, his hands already lightly gliding over his body, wanting to remain a part of him.

Jim hissed a tiny breath of air, his backside sore from their energetic sex and definitely protesting a little.  He didn’t hesitate to curl tightly against his lover and rest his head comfortably against his strong shoulder.  “My back and ass are a little sore,” he confessed, smiling at him.  “And your hands feel wonderful everywhere.  Don’t stop?”

"I won't, Jim. As I said before, I have no intention of moving." Khan pressed his fingers carefully into the small of Jim's back, taking his time to ease the tight muscles. Pleasantly, the more he massaged Jim, the closer it kept them pressed together. Tucking their heads together, Khan smiled a little as his own eyes closed, relaxed and happy to have Jim like this, nothing but the open air against their skin. And while the augment was accustomed to very sterile environments, this felt very natural to him.

Jim opened his eyes to view Khan’s smile and smiled back in return, happiness practically glowing out of him.  “You smile so nicely,” he said.  “I like your real smiles.  They make me feel like I’ve actually accomplished something.”  He wiggled in the soft grip of his lover and pressed along his length with a long sigh of pleasure.  “Lower back?” he asked hopefully, as the talented hand moved.

Smiling had never really come naturally to Khan, that was, not until he got closer to Jim and had begun to bond to him. He had been happy and satisfied before, but never really had much to smile about. Until Jim. "Yes, for a start." Khan confirmed, working the area slowly. "Rest, Jim. I will take care of you."

“I am resting,” Jim said.  “I don’t want to sleep when I can just bask in being with you.  That’s better than sleep.  I can do that all the time.”  He huffed a little at a particularly soothing touch, feeling whatever last tenseness might remain in his body practically ooze out.  “I’ll owe you a massage for later.  Don’t let me forget.”

"You do not owe me anything, Jim." Khan sighed, his fingers artfully finding and destroying every knot or strained muscle over his lover's body. "But I will not decline the attention, should you feel inspired." Quietly, Khan continued to soothe the bruised and sore body of his human lover, not wanting any lingering pain from when he had been rough with Jim.

“Well, I have to at least try to keep up with my lover’s superhuman might,” Jim teased quietly, unable to help drifting off now.  He shut his eyes and pressed their foreheads together.  “Don’t let me sleep more than an hour,” he muttered.  “Else Bones or Spock’ll be after me.  And I don’t want another round of hyposprays or lectures.”

"Hm." Khan closed his own eyes as well, hands still working over Jim's body, slow and relaxed. "You are Captain, Jim. Perhaps it is you who should be giving the lectures." Then again, if Jim actually pulled rank with his friends and crew, Khan imagined the dynamic would change to something Jim did not want. "But I will wake you in an hour." He said, even though he too was fighting the urge to sleep.

Jim chuckled and said, “Their lectures mean they care.  I like that...that they care, I mean.  They were the first in a long time.”  He sighed and let himself drift to sleep in the arms of the man who had ended up caring the most.


	18. Parting

As peaceful as Khan had proven himself to be with Starfleet, it was agreed that waking 72 augments while aboard the Enterprise was a potentially lethal decision, so the much more practical option became beaming the stable cryotubes to the surface of the augment's new planet and waking them there. Once on the planet, Khan examined each and every cryotube personally, before giving Dr. McCoy permission to begin the necessary sequence to awaken the augmented crew. It was the first time Khan had seen his people in a very long time, and his heart clenched tight to view them through the frosted glass of their encasing, even though they would not be stuck in such a state for much longer.

"Joaquin." Khan spoke the name as if he were coaxing a child to wake. The young augment lay still, except for the subtle rise and fall of his chest, though his eyes snapped open upon the second time Khan called his name. Sitting up, a boy of nineteen or twenty, Joaquin met the eyes of his leader with bright excitement. "Father," he said, clearly only having eyes for Khan, not paying any mind to the others that were in attendance.

Jim watched the proceedings with mixed emotions.  They had spent no little time assuring themselves that this planet was the right one for the augments’ settlement after all their trials on other worlds.  But Diantha had finally proven to be the winner, with a lovely climate, fertile soils, few dangers and places for a growing family of augments.  So, Khan, being the leader he was, declared this their new home and asked for permission to settle his family here.  

And leave his ‘husband’ to the stars.

They were waking the augments now, and Jim had asked for and received permission from Khan for he, Spock and Bones to be on hand, partly in case anything went wrong.  But mostly, Jim was curious to see Khan around his people, to see how they reacted to his presence.  He hoped they accepted their new place in the universe, that Khan’s fears were unfounded.  He’d think little of them if they blamed his lover for all his struggles to see them free and safe.

As the first one woke and called Khan ‘father,’ Jim tried not to feel the loss that swept through him.  But it cemented that this was real and for good.  He leaned a little into Bones, wanting the contact of his friend, even though it earned him a concerned frown.

Climbing out of the cryotube, Joaquin stood easily, showing no signs of weariness, despite having laid immobile for over three hundred years. Khan and the young man regarded one another quietly for a moment, before Joaquin made the first move, bowing his head forward slightly and closing his eyes, showing respect to his leader. Soon after this exchange however, Joaquin turned his gaze toward the strangers observing them- people, humans, non-family. Understanding the uncertainty, Khan spoke to it before Joaquin even had a chance to ask. "They are allies, Joaquin," he said, dismissing the natural instinct to regard humans as enemies. "And this planet is our new home, for our new life, as I have promised."

Joaquin listened to what Khan said, though he still seemed to regard the humans on hand with some caution and suspicion. It was perhaps apt that Khan had once hidden his people inside torpedoes, as they were one some level, highly explosive, highly dangerous beings, and in this moment, it was only Khan who knew how to disarm them. So one by one, Khan had Dr. McCoy help awaken each augment from their sleep. To each, Khan greeted them by name, while they in turn would call him 'brother' or 'father' or fewer still, less informally simply 'Khan'. And to each, Khan shared a small exchange, a careful, but meaningful touch, until he had the scent of all his 72 once more, each doing so as a way to honor and pledge their loyalty to the man they had trusted with their lives so long ago.

Jim watched the formal way with which Khan interacted with each of his people, so different from the way they were by the end.  But much the way Khan had been at the start of their voyage- cold and formal in all ways.  He wondered which was real or if Khan merely adapted to the situation at hand.  Nonetheless, it was a great deal different from Noonien.

He remained where he was, not wanting in any way to interfere or undermine the process or cause any problems for Khan.  This was a delicate moment, and Jim respected that.  If he was needed or wanted, as the Captain of the Enterprise, Khan would let him know.  Otherwise, he was there as a neutral observer, though he would be reporting back to Starfleet on the mission.

In many ways, he was as responsible as anyone for this end and that did bring him a moment’s pride.  He hoped that the group would be successful and live long.  And he would offer whatever help Khan might need to make that happen.

With the strength of his people standing directly behind him, it was clear that Khan truly was the head of a very dangerous group of individuals, many of whom had already begun to quietly scrutinize Kirk and his friend. Some were even standing close enough that they recognized that there was something different about the blonde human, something familiar. They were clearly curious and wanted to know more, but did not cross an invisible boundary to approach Kirk.

"Captain Kirk." Khan said formally, looking to him directly. "Commander Spock. Doctor McCoy," he added, speaking to each in turn, addressing the highest ranking of them first, as a way to help his people understand the modern social structure. "This is Joaquin. Mei-li. Asbah. Ravi." Khan said, introducing only the immediate four augments who were at his side, who were treated as those with rank, even though they did not subscribe to the concept in the same way. "On behalf of my people-" he continued, knowing all ears and eyes were upon him "-I want to thank you for seeing me and my people to safety."

Captain Kirk.  The title rang in his ears, even as he met Khan’s eyes with his own gaze.  

Jim stepped forward and made the same elegant and formal head gesture to the group of augments that he had observed Khan make to each one.  He squared his shoulders and lifted his chin, facing the not completely comforting sea of faces.  “On behalf of the United Federation of Planets, I would like to say that it has been the crew of the USS Enterprise’s and my privilege to escort you to your new home.  Knowing your leader as I do-” and here, Jim made an even more formal bow of respect toward Khan “- I am assured that you will make a success of your endeavors here.  However, I also extend the Federation’s, the Enterprise’s and my hand to you in both friendship and assistance should the need ever arise.  Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the future.  May you prosper in it.”

Khan would have smiled at Jim, if he could have. He would have thanked him for playing the role during this crucial time, but instead Khan was forced to remain formal in his response. "Thank you, Captain Kirk." He said, the emphasis slightly on Captain, rather then Kirk, barely touching on a fond familiarity. Khan offered his hand in friendship and as a show of their formal alliance. "I know my people are eager to hear about the major events that have transpired in the last three hundred years. And specifically, regarding the Federation. But let me assure both sides, we are friends to the Federation, an alliance that will long be fruitful to all."

Jim took Khan’s proffered hand in a firm grip of his own and answered, “We welcome you and your people, Mr. Singh, as friends of the Federation.  And we are happy to provide information on the changes over the past three centuries.  Indeed, you will find that the databases we have supplied your people with are full of information of a vast variety.  However, should you prefer to speak directly with crew from the Enterprise, we will remain here and at your disposal for a fortnight.”  He released Khan’s hand, but remained at the friendly distance, trying to emphasize that they were allies.

Though Joaquin was Khan's second, he was not particularly friendly to non-augments, so it was Mei-li who approached Kirk and his officers with a well practiced smile and a polite bow of the head. "Please, stay Captain Kirk. You and your crew are most welcome." She said, showing trust in Khan's judgment of the Starfleet personnel. "You will find us very curious." She added with a more meaningful smile, sensing that there was indeed something different about Kirk and glanced to Khan after getting a hint of what it was. Even so, her smile did not falter during this public exchange and she did not push for further answers. Instead, Mei-li touched a hand lightly to Khan's elbow before departing from his immediate company. Ravi and Asbah followed the same behavior, before pairing off with other augments in order to talk privately.

Joaquin of course remained behind, keeping his eyes on Khan. It was a strange sort of silence before the younger augment spoke up. "What happened to your hair?" He asked with a frown, clearly upset, but the subject was not as bad as Khan had feared. With a heavy sigh, Khan answered with patience, "It was cut, Joaquin. It will grow again." Though barely satisfied by this answer, Joaquin did not push the subject further, so Khan redirected his attention. "Please see to suitable arrangements for our guests, Joaquin." Khan directed, which for anyone else might be an impossible task, but for the young, high strung augment, it was a welcome challenge.

Jim did not have time to truly thank Mei-li for her greeting, though he did try to meet her gravity with his own.  He felt the suspicious eyes of Khan’s second, Joaquin, on him the whole time, though, and did not care for their gaze.  Still, not a hint touched his face, as he turned toward Khan again.  He watched quietly as Joaquin left to do his assigned task and then asked in a low tone,” Hair?”

"I had longer hair." Khan confirmed, dropping his eyes lightly so that he could glance to Jim's neck, able to pick out one of his favorite spots to kiss, even with this distance between them. "I look strange to their eyes. I am not as they remember, though that is perhaps for the best. We are new men and women here. We are starting over." Khan encouraged Jim to walk with him, walking through small gatherings of augments who for the most part quietly took Kirk in, but reserved their conversation for his crewmen instead.

Jim looked around and said, “It is gratifying to see them all up and about.  There were no ill effects from having been in cryostasis that long?”  He paused to observe Bones and one of the female augments having what appeared to be a very deep conversation.  His friend was gesticulating all over the place, but he looked engaged and enthusiastic, which was nice to see.  

"You have no idea, Jim." Khan said softly. "It is such a relief to see them. Just see their faces and hear their voices, someplace other than in my head." Khan let his eyes linger over a few men and women who were actually smiling as they examined the new soil beneath their feet. "They are resilient. And made stronger, to be able to function as a unit again." They had the luxury of being awoken under safe circumstances, together as a family, when Khan had not, so he was happy for them and all the more grateful to Jim and his crew for giving his people this new beginning.

“And we want to do what we can to help them function again,” Jim said, “especially on a brave, new world.  We shall continue to transport down supplies for the next few days, and we’ll want someone to run a check on them from down here to make sure everything is included.  Additionally, if there are any other items you might desire, now is the time to let us know.  We have a few spare things here and there.  Please let me know if there is anything else we might do, as well.  Honestly, your extending an invitation for us to remain was a bit of a surprise to me.  I thought you might want a little time at the very first to just have your family around you.”

Khan nodded in understanding, though had already approved of the supply list several times over and knew everything they needed was already being supplied. All but one thing Khan still desired, which he hesitated to ask for. "My family is around me." Khan said gently, "I know we do not share the same senses, but I am soothed just to have them at my fingertips again." Khan then stopped and faced Jim, sharing a thoughtful exchange with him before adding. "Never forget, Jim, you are my family too."

“I know,” Jim said quietly.  “But they don’t.  And I presume you do not wish them to.  I understand.”  He’d after all spent years being the unwanted black sheep.  “However, given the time without them, I thought you might want only them for a time, anyway.”  He smiled and shrugged.  “But we are happy to stay, break bread and share your first few nights on a new home.  In fact, I’m rather excited to see what you can accomplish in but a day or two.”

"Please, Jim." Khan said, realizing that this was perhaps a conversation they should have had before now. "It is not a reflection upon you." He said with a little frown. "I will be telling my people what happened, from start to finish, once you and your people are safety away and have returned to the stars and your voyage. But doing that now is an invitation for conflict that I have no wish for." Khan perked up slightly, hearing a far off whistle and looked in the general direction, seeing Joaquin mobilize several small groups of augments. "Speaking of what we can accomplish ... in a few hours time you may very well be treated to a very fine meal and a sample of a very innovative lifestyle."

“Khan,” Jim said in a level tone, “I do understand.  It has been a long time since you judged me as inferior because of my lack of enhancements, and I ask that you not revert back to it now.  I’ve understood from the start.”  He turned toward the whistle and said, “I believe that.  What shall we do in the meantime?”

"Walk with me. Allow me to introduce you to my family." Now that many of the augments had broken off into smaller groups, they were much more manageable then Khan introducing Jim to all 72 of them at once. "I want to share them with you." He said, even if it sounded strange. They were Khan's people, but he wanted Jim to see them through his eyes, to see the good and courage and brilliance in all of them, as both individuals and as a group.

“I’d like that...Noonien,” Jim said, the name low enough that he was certain only his companion could hear.  “I want to know all about them. From you, most especially.”  He looked over the bustling group.  “And hear what they think of you, as well.”

*            *            *

 

Jim knocked on Khan’s door and awaited entry, trying not to think too much about this being the Enterprise’s last night at the planet and more about the delicious meal he was about to eat.  The augments were definitely clever and quick, having erected their village in little over ten days, including the foundations for what would become various industries.  And if Jim were not very much mistaken, there was already a bit of pairing off happening among the group.  So, in conclusion, one planetary colony off to a very promising start and no need for the Enterprise to hang around any longer.

Khan had invited him to dinner, and Jim knew it was a farewell, a last chance to celebrate their partnership in all its forms, from bad to good.  And though the prospect weighed heavily in his heart, he wanted this last meeting very badly.  It would take everything in him not to beg Khan to go with him, most of all because he knew the man wanted to stay.  Here with his real family...the ones he had endured such suffering for.  And Jim would never fault him for that, never ask him to choose between them.  Not that it made it any easier.

He carried a bottle of wine with him, along with a book, a favorite of his that he wanted to leave with Khan as a memento of their time together.  He hoped when Khan looked at it, he would remember his ‘husband’ with fondness and perhaps more.  Additionally, he had inscribed the frontpiece, using words he thought would be innocuous to others, but meaningful to Khan.

Along with many of the other homes built into the sloping base of a small mountain, Khan now lived in harmony with the natural environment. Constructed partly above and below ground, the home used the root system of trees and large submerged boulders as natural barriers. And while it might appear primitive, as if the augments were reverting to an era when humans lived in caves, the truth was the interiors were highly sophisticated, tapping into natural hot springs below, and the sun above, the community was proving itself very self sufficient.

Opening the door, Khan wore a long tunic and loose fitting pants that had been made recently with native plant fibers. It was extremely soft and almost creamy looking as the chai colored fiber covered Khan's body. With gold stitching around the collar and the hem, Khan looked much more like a prince and revered leader then he had in the black Starfleet uniform. "Jim." Khan greeted his lover by kissing the side of his face softly before stepping back to invite him inside.

Jim waited until he had stepped inside and the door closed behind him, before greeting Khan with a similar kiss.  “Noonien,” he said softly.  “You look amazing.”  He smiled for his lover, his heart in his eyes.  “Thank you for inviting me for a last dinner.  I brought some wine.  I hope it’s appropriate for the selection.”  He held out the old bottle, a gift from Pike on his becoming captain of the Enterprise and now selected for a last meal between two men who had in essence been united by the same man.

"Thank you." Khan said, accepting the bottle of wine into the crook of his arm. Had he know the origin of the gift, it would have both touched and hurt Khan, when he was already hurting as it was. Khan then set the bottle of wine on a hand carved dining table, already set with a small feast for the two of them. The dining room was set to overlook the mountain, with a large wall sized window that let in the natural light. However now that Jim was here, Khan wanted some time alone with no other eyes upon them, so touched a keypad on the wall to tint the window for their privacy.

Jim noted the windows going dark and turned to his lover, stepping into his arms and holding him tight.  “Noonien...my husband.”  He closed his eyes to better commit to memory the feeling of Khan’s body pressed close to him, his warmth and strength and the thrill that always raged through Jim at knowing this man was his.  If only for one more night.  

Khan nodded slightly. Yes, he was still his Noonien, his loving Noonien. Yes, they both needed this. And yes, it would hurt all the more. "I have you, Jim." Khan said, embracing his husband, tucking their faces together as his arms constricted, keeping Jim tightly in his arms. Khan breathed deeply, letting his shoulders drop, feeling safe and comfortable enough to be himself again, now that he had Jim in his arms again.

Jim lifted his head and looked into Khan’s blue eyes, which he had once compared to the icy tundra, but now seemed all too warm.  He knew his own were slightly glassy with water and smiled to try and defray the effect.  His lips found Khan’s with a confidence born of familiarity, but the effect of their kisses was as sweet, as addicting, as deep as from the first. And he encouraged Khan to hold the contact as long and probe his mouth as deep as possible.  But when they pulled back, his eyes were definitely leaking slightly at the corners.  “This is why I fought so hard not fall in love with anyone,” he murmured, embarrassed.

Palming the side of his face, Khan thumbed away a few hot tears, holding his gaze all the while. "It was an unexpected result for both of us, Jim. Please, do not regret it." Kissing Jim again lightly on the lips, Khan was gently asking for permission, not wanting Jim to pull away or withdraw from their mutual affection so soon. But if it was too much, Khan would show restraint, he would say goodbye in the way Jim would allow.

“Regret it?”  Jim huffed a shaky breath and shook his head.  “No.  Never.  I’m so fucking proud, Noonien, that you ever found me worthy to love.  And I wouldn’t want to lose that for anything.”  He pressed their foreheads together.  “Let’s make this a last night worthy of us?  I don’t want to miss out on anything in these last few hours we have together.”  He ran his hands over Khan’s back and shoulders, care in all of his touches.  “Starting with dinner?  You look like you’ve gone all out for tonight.”

"My husband." Khan said, still holding the side of his face with his hand, then kissed the opposite side before he added in a whisper, "And I am honored, that you found it in your heart to love me as well, my Jim." The two of them had come a very long way, from outright enemies, to mistrustful allies, to genuine allies, friends, lovers ... it had been a long evolution, that Khan too was very proud of.

"Now, for dinner-" Khan said, pulling back slightly and finally let his hand drop away, "I have prepared foods native to this planet. All of which I had Dr. McCoy test beforehand, to ensure they are not threats to your health, and I am pleased to report, you will have no allergic reaction to anything I have prepared." Khan moved to one end of the table and pulled out a chair for Jim, wanting him to sit."

“That’s always such a pain, isn’t it?  Testing what Jim can actually eat.”  Jim smiled at his lover and took the seat as gracefully as possible.  “But I thank you for going through all of that to prepare so many wonderful things.  I’d say I was amazed that you managed to put this all together with native foods in such a short time...except I have come to expect the amazing from you.  And with seventy-two of you…”  He shook his head and smiled at Khan, waiting for him to take his own seat.  “Will you all be happy and well here, Noonien?”

Khan kissed Jim on the back of the head once he was seated. "... as if I would want to kill you, on our last night." He moved to the other side of the table and sat facing Jim with a little smile. "This will be a good home for my people, Jim. They are safe, and happy, and free." The foods before them were very colorful, dark oranges and reds, and bright greens and yellows, fruits and vegetables and grains prepared with care to make for a rich and exotic feast. "You have seen what they can do in a matter of days, I look forward to showing you what they can do in a matter of years."

“I’m so glad, Noonien.  Of all I’ve been a part of in Starfleet, this is probably the thing I’ll be the proudest of,” Jim said.  His eyes widened a little at the implications.  “I’d like to hear about it more often than that, if you can spare some time to call me.”  He looked over his plate to hide the pleading of his eyes, selecting something bright yellow to try first.  Taking a bite, he smiled in pleasure.  “It’s sweet.  Are you naming everything on the planet?”

"Yes, Jim. Definitely more often." Khan watched Jim fondly, remembering all the meals they had taken together, and though this was a milestone, hoped it would not truly be their last.  "I am not naming everything myself, personally, no. But I am open to suggestions ..." Khan said, not yet touching his meal, as he found it difficult to eat, even after preparing such wonderful foods. "How do you find it?"

“Despite my well known pickiness, this is delicious, Noonien,” Jim praised.  He looked at his lover and noticed his own untouched plate.  “Will you not be eating your own creation then?” he asked, concern in his expression. He set aside his silverware and reached across the table for Khan’s hands.

Giving their hands a gentle squeeze, Khan knew how sensitive Jim was about eating and had not meant to upset him. "Yes- I will." Khan assured, not wanting Jim to stop enjoying the meal. "I am finding this difficult ..." His eyes dropped to their joined hands, where he quietly stared as his thumb brushed over Jim's knuckles.

"Jim." He said after a long silence, finally lifting his gaze, "I know the answer to the question that has been on my mind, but I feel I must ask it even so." Khan looked across the table, ignoring all else around them. "Would you consider, staying with me Jim? Here, as my husband? With my people?"

“Noonien,” Jim gasped, genuinely startled by the question.  After all of his own struggles to keep the reverse question bottled inside him, he never thought Khan would ask him to stay.  “Oh, Noonien.”  He stood, keeping their hands joined and tugged at Khan for him to stand and move, backing toward a comfortable looking piece of furniture.  “Please, sit with me.”

"Believe me Jim, I know the answer." Khan said, following his lead even so. "You have the Enterprise and her crew, your family. You have a universe to explore, adventure in new experiences ... I know, Jim. But I had to ask. Please, do not be upset with me." He said, sitting down and swallowed hard, trying to keep from saying anything else foolish.

“Upset with you?” Jim asked and shook his head vehemently, burrowing into Khan’s arms.  “I’m so proud that you would even ask me, Noonien.  After everything you told me about your family that you would want me to stay as your husband…”  He lifted his head to kiss Khan sweetly.  “And don’t think I haven’t struggled for the past weeks not to beg you to stay with me.  Every minute of everyday, I’ve choked myself on the words, refusing to let them out because I know that you belong here...just like I belong on the Enterprise.”  His voice choked a little on the last words, since he knew what that meant for them both.

Pressing their foreheads together, Khan actually smiled at these words. Their brains had been muddled equally by their love and affection for one another. They both wanted the same thing; they both wanted to keep the other, just as both knew they couldn't. "My Jim." Khan said, calm now that he had been able to say what had been in his heart. "You belong with your crew, and I belong with my people. But that does not make you any less my Jim, nor I, your loving Noonien."

“I know,” Jim whispered, “but it does make it fucking suck.” He thumbed over both of Khan’s cheekbones with tender swipes and kissed him softly.  “I want to say yes...well, my heart wants me to say yes.  And I know I’ll miss you so badly when we leave.  My gray lady and crew and the stars used to be enough for me, but not anymore.”  He kicked off his boots and stretched his feet up on the cushions beside him, so he could press even more into Khan’s arms, knowing the augment would mind.

As Jim captured his face with both hands to kiss him, Khan nodded slightly, letting their noses brush as he kissed back just as gently. Leaning back, Khan pulled Jim to lay over top of him, enjoying the weight of having Jim against his chest and in his arms. "You know, I had all these plans for you this evening. After the dinner and dessert, I wanted to sing to you, then soak in the hot springs and hold you until you had to leave ... I wanted to spoil you with attention ... but now that I have you in my arms, that is all I want."

“You are spoiling me with attention,” Jim said, “but I think you forgot the love-making in all of that.  You shouldn’t forget that.”  He tucked himself as comfortably as possible into Khan’s arms and found a place for his hand to rest and stroke warm skin.  “I’d like to hear you sing, if you still want to sing to me.”  He nuzzled under Khan’s chin and then pressed a kiss there.  

"I would like that Jim. I want to make you happy, even with the difficulty of our parting looming over us tonight." Resting his hands flatly on Jim's back, Khan let a small hum build in his chest, which soon evolved into a peaceful, loving, even hopeful song, delivered in a mix of Bengali, Hindi, Arabic, and Persian. As Khan had once sung in mourning of those he had lost, this, too, was a heartfelt goodbye to the man he held most dear to his heart

Jim was a language expert, as he used to enjoy rubbing in Uhura’s nose, and understood much of what Khan sang to him.  He wished he could return the favor, but could only offer his enjoyment of the music, since his own voice was not pleasant. But the song was also sad in places, too, making his heart sink low in his chest and breath tighten in his lungs.  He didn’t want to leave his Noonien.  “That was lovely, Noonien,” he murmured as the song trailed off again.

"Thank you, Jim." Khan said, kissing the top of his lover's head, letting his nose press into the short hair where he sighed, breathing him in deeply. He hummed a little to himself after the fact, but did not start up a new song. The feeling and tone of it was still lingering, and would stay with Khan long after Jim left. Without anyone else to really speak to about his loss, the song would allow Khan to address his emotions, to give voice to his heartache and affection for Jim, when there were simply no words for it.

Jim stayed comfortably put for a long time, soaking up the presence of his lover, but finally shifted and lifted his head for a soft kiss.  He smiled at Khan and whispered, “I think that soak in the hot springs might be nice now.  We can stay just as close, but with less fabric between us.”  And he smiled a mostly normal ‘Jim Kirk’ grin.  “Besides, you did want to pamper me, and I want to stay close to you.”

"Yes." Khan said softly, not interested in denying his lover anything he wanted. Sitting up, Khan let his hand linger against Jim's back, then slip down to his hip. "I think you will like it." He said as he stood, asking for Jim to give him his hand to lead him this time. Though with his other hand, Khan picked up a plate from the dinner table, deciding to take with them a selection of cakes and fruits Khan still wanted to share with Jim.

Then walking down a short hallway, deeper into the mountainside, Khan led them to a room that was separated from the rest by a heavy wooden door. Inside was a fairly high natural ceiling of stone, made smooth by hundreds and thousands of years of water trickling down the sides. The water spilled into a natural pool, shallow at one end and deeper a few feet in. Several lights came alive to a soft glow once Khan and Jim entered, illuminating the private pool and hot spring.

Jim noted Khan pick up some of the food they had left on the table and felt a stab of guilt for not eating the lovely meal his lover had so carefully prepared for him.  He squeezed Khan’s hand gently once in apology and willingness to follow wherever he was leading.  When they entered the hot springs room, he said, “Oh, now this is nice.  I’m glad I didn’t miss out on this.”  He let go of Khan’s hand to explore around the little area a bit for himself, before beginning to strip out of his clothes.  “Full nudity or shall I leave on my boxers?” he asked with a slightly teasing smile.

"I think we can do without boundaries between us, Jim." Khan said, setting the plate on a dry rise of rock near the pool of water. Undressing near the edge, Khan stripped himself of his own clothing. Then stepping into the shallow end, Khan slowly walked into the deeper side of the pool until the warm water covered his hips. "I think you will like this-" He said, both arms lightly outstretched on the surface of the water, inviting Jim to join him.

Jim set aside his own garments and eased into the water, moving to join Khan, in the circle of his arms.  He wrapped his own around strong shoulders and began a series of kisses, soft and gentle, intermixed with a bit more demanding and deep.  “I already like this,” he assured Khan, rubbing against him slowly.  “I hope you know I like everything we do together...everything we’ve done since we learned not to be enemies anymore.”

Khan purred at the attention, his arms locking around his lover, hands beginning to press soothingly into his back. "Yes, I agree." Khan said, kissing Jim with a little smile before adding, "Though I admit, I did enjoy pushing your buttons to solicit great reactions from you." Khan licked his own lips, then kissed Jim again deeply, drawing him further into the warm water. "You were intriguing to me then, just as you are now."

“Oh, you did,” Jim said with a hint of mischief.  “So much for your more enlightened status.”  His entire demeanor was teasing and affectionate, and he pressed more kisses to Khan’s face as he spoke.  “I find you irresistible now, even that somewhat arrogant demeanor you sometimes pull on me.  Now, don’t pout about it.” He grinned and lightly splashed Khan’s chest.  “You totally do.”

"Hm." Khan narrowed his eyes coolly. Though seemed to find no real threat in the words or actions, but instead grabbed Jim by the wrists in attempts to be playful back. Pinning his hands lightly to his sides, Khan kissed him again. "Tell me more, then." He said, a calm demand to his tone. "What else do you find irresistible?"

Jim laughed and said, “Everything physical about you.  I don’t know why your looks work so well...they’re not classically handsome, but you’re the sexiest thing on two legs I’ve ever seen.  And your voice...illegal, that’s what it should be.  And you’re brilliant, of course.  We can talk about anything until our voices run out.  And when you get through the ice shield you erected around yourself, you’re passionate and warm and kind and protective...and I love it.  All of it. I wish sometimes you’d have loosened up enough to not always need the lead, but I ended up loving that, too.”

The praise did stroke his ego, which in turn meant Khan began to press kisses into Jim's neck, working his way down his shoulder before he paused at the final comment. Khan had felt like he had given in many times, and certainly more often then he was ever accustomed to. But there was a hidden truth there that Khan now acknowledged. "I know some things have not been equal ... but do you feel I have been unfair to you, Jim? Have I not given you the opportunity to lead?"

Jim stroked Khan’s hair and shook his head.  “No, love.  I understand.  I do.  And I know in many ways, you have molded yourself for my feelings.  I hope that hasn't been damaging to you with your family.”  He remembered well some of the dire predictions Khan had made during their first couplings.  “But considering you’re it for me, I guess I’m going to have forget all about being the pitcher ever again, huh?”  And that was Jim Kirk’s way of pledging fidelity, despite their parting.

Pressing his hand over the front of Jim's chest, Khan considered his words. He still had very real concerns about how his people would respond, but Khan had engaged in relations with Jim even so, and would not take a moment of it back, regardless of the consequences. So he could not respond to what the final outcome would be regarding his coupling with Jim, which meant he could not offer any truthful assurance that all was well. It was still uncertain.

But those troubling thoughts were pushed away, to be saved for when Jim was safely away and Khan could present his story to his people on his own terms. For now, Khan had other concerns. "Please explain." He asked, a subtle frown and a worry catching in the corner crease of his eyes.

“What part am I explaining?” Jim asked, reading the expression and then smiling reassurance at Khan.  “Not my worry about you, I hope, or my reassurance that I am well satisfied as your Jim...oh, the last part, huh?  I meant what I said- you’re it for me, Noonien.”

"Jim ... I have no expectations, or demands in this area. You are free to do as you like. It is natural for you to take other lovers. I simply do not need to hear about them." Which was perhaps his only demand, but it had been well established form the beginning, Jim was more then free to be with anyone he liked, but Khan did not want to hear about it. "I do not wish you to deny yourself companionship, Jim, I do not want you to be miserable." Even though Khan had very clear and strict self imposed rules, he did not hold the same standards on Jim.

“You think I want to cheat on you, Noonien?  You imagine anyone else can hold a candle to you, especially now that I know what it is to be with a person on love and not just lust?  I'm not so fucking poor a man as that.  And if I'm miserable, it will be from missing you and not just any warm body in my bed,” Jim said.  “I might get a tribble, though.  They’re very soothing.”

"No, Jim. Just the opposite, I do not think so poorly of you at all. I am simply ... shocked, and honored by this. I did not know, Jim, but I am proud to be your last lover, my husband." Khan pressed his lips to the side of his face, lingering there as he took a breath. "My Jim." Khan said, then sunk back in the water, letting his back press against the rock. His hands moved careful over Jim, warm and wet with the water from the hot spring pool. "Do you still desire to be ... the pitcher, as you put it?" He asked, seeking only the truth.

“I love you,” Jim gasped, astonished by this last offer, if it were indeed an offer.  “And yeah, I love being on top, but I’m satisfied, so completely happy with our lovemaking, Noonien.”  He surged into his arms to kiss him a long, deep thank you and rub against his body sensually.  “But I do want you, Noonien.  I need you.  Please.”

The idea was very new for Khan and took him well outside his comfort zone. Which meant his movements were slow and slightly cautious. But showing trust, Khan rested his hands on Jim's shoulders while his thighs parted under the water, allowing Jim to stand and press between his parted legs. "I do not want you to deny this part of yourself, Jim. I wish to honor all sides of you, my husband."

“Fuck, I’m going to just explode all over you from the words and idea,” Jim murmured and pressed a soft kiss to his throat.  “I want you so badly, Noonien, but if I were to take your generous offer, it would not be here and now.  I would spread you over a bed and worship your body the way it deserves.  I would spread you open slow and gentle and tender, and not just using my fingers.  And when you were finally ready, wanting my touch and asking for it, then I’d slide inside and show you why I always have so much fun with you.”

Listening to the way Jim would bed him, Khan felt the twist of anxiety in his stomach begin to unclench. Jim might be hungry and needy for his body, but he would treat him well and care for him in the way Khan would need for his first time. Clasping the back of his neck, Khan held Jim close as he arched his own neck to kiss him deeply, sucking on his tongue slowly. Then slowly, as if getting used to the idea, Khan began to close his legs around Jim's hips. Then letting his free hand drop below the surface, Khan let his hand drift over both their cocks, gently teasing them both with the touch.

Jim moaned into their joined mouths and pushed into the touch on his cock, their cocks.  He tangled his fingers in Khan’s hair and stroked the back of his scalp with tender pressure.  The legs around his hips, something he hadn’t felt since he and Khan became lovers, encouraged him to thrust a little into his lover.  But he did not push too much, allowing Khan to continue to lead the encounter.  When their mouths parted so he could gulp a bit of air, he murmured, “My Noonien.  You are so good beneath me.  I love the feel of being this close to you.”  His left hand joined with Khan’s around their cocks, stroking slowly.

Khan looked up at Jim with wide eyes as a shiver twisted down his spine. He had never been beneath anyone before. Even though he had willingly put himself in this position, his brain did not seem to know what to do with that information. Shifting his back against the rock, Khan pulled Jim closer against him, thighs slightly tightening to keep their bodies pressed. Then sliding both hands over Jim's body, one over his shoulder, holding onto the back of his neck, while the other wrapped around his back, Khan nuzzled their faces together, attempting to show his submission. "I trust you, Jim." He said, trying not to control things in his position, but giving his lover the lead.

“I know, Noonien,” Jim breathed, eyes wide and shining with delight at being entrusted with this privilege.  He leaned in to press sweet kisses along Khan’s face, mapping every inch of skin.  He lingered over some of his favorites- forehead, nose, cheeks and mouth- and brushed sweetly over some of the others- eyelids most especially.  And his hand took a firmer hold of Khan’s impressive erection and worked the length skillfully.  “And I’m honored." 

As Jim began to press kisses to him, Khan lightly closed his eyes. Trying to allow himself to relax, Khan made himself focus on just Jim's touches, the warmth of his body, and heat of the water constantly trying to undo the knots of muscle in his back. He nodded slightly, then began to seek out Jim's skin too, doing so blindly as he kept his eyes closed, using his nose and lips to explore Jim's skin in return, pressing kisses to his collarbone, neck and jaw, before seeking out his lips again. Opening his mouth to Jim slowly was more than a little foreshadowing of how he would be to opening up to Jim elsewhere, but once he did, his mouth proved sweet and warm and willing as he sucked on Jim's tongue.

Jim shifted his attentions again, hands moving to work at Khan’s shoulders first, massaging the strong muscles there and trying to ease any tension.  He hungrily explored Khan’s mouth, but again with less aggression than he might in other circumstances.  His touches remained suffused with tenderness, care for a lover who was taking on a whole new role.  And the rest of his body echoed that balance, not demanding more than his lover seemed willing to take.  He parted their mouths again to whisper, “I think I love you more in this moment than ever before.  And you’ve turned me into a sap.”

"Not a sap." Khan said quietly, giving a gentle bite to the lobe of Jim's ear. "A good man. A worthy companion." No one else would have been able to command the heart of Khan Noonien Singh the way Jim Kirk did. "My husband." He added, petting his fingers through short blond hair, wanting to keep his gaze. "Jim-?" Khan began, sucking on his own lip before he bravely asked for more. "Will you press against me? I want a taste of what it is like."

Jim cocked his head and then eased his body down more firmly against Khan’s own, letting him feel what it was to be beneath a sexual partner.  “Like this?” he asked, making sure he understood Khan correctly.  He shifted to press their groins together more solidly and rocked very gently against him, a slow, careful demonstration of what more between them could be like.  “And this?”

"Oh-" Breath catching in his chest, Khan squeezed his legs again, his blood racing at the simple tease. "Yes, Jim." He said, giving in and letting his body roll with the movements. Khan quietly nodded to himself before he arched his neck to kiss Jim again, while the rest of his limbs clenched tighter, holding on so that their bodies moved together.

Jim kissed Khan with a bit more hunger now, letting him feel how much it excited him to get a chance at roles reversed.  His hands moved down to the long legs encircling him, caressing the length and dipping his thumbs into sensitive grooves at joint of leg and groin.  His fingers knowingly explored the area, encouraging his lover to keep thrusting up.  Their erections were certainly responding, each bit of contact sending sparks throughout Jim’s body.

"Yes, Jim-" Khan said again. His brain and body were both confused by all of this, but even so, Khan managed to keep calm, to trust Jim entirely with this process. With his knees pressing into Jim's sides, Khan raised his hips a little further, accepting each thrust against him. "You truly want me, don't you, Jim?" He asked, recognizing a familiar hunger that was just under the surface.

“I would be a fool not to,” Jim said and stroked over Khan’s hip pointers.  “From the moment I saw you, piloting that ship, it was impossible not to note your features.  And then the vicious way you fought on Qu’noS, all power and control of a strong, perfectly proportioned body.  I’m only human, after all.”  The last joke he said with a grin, but there was truth and warmth in his eyes.

He sealed their mouths for a brief kiss and then whispered, “But I never imagined us as anything other than reluctant allies, fighting against a common enemy. And when we finally did break the barriers between us, when you allowed me into your life, your arms, I still never thought I’d get to be this close to you, let alone in this position.  I’m not afraid to say it makes me a little nervous.  I want you to feel safe and loved and most of all, enjoy yourself.  Especially since this may be our last night together.”

Listening to Jim speak, Khan relaxed a little, remembering back to all those little times when he had saved Jim's life and the impression he had made at the time. It hadn't all been bad. Even if it had been difficult, for both sides. Khan spread his hands over Jim, touching his human body, knowing the power Jim had over him was more than mere muscle. "I am nervous too." Khan admitted with a little frown, not wanting to be seen as weak, when he was already in a vulnerable position. "I want to satisfy you. I want to be someone you will come back to. I do not know how to do this, when so much of my engineering thinks it should be fighting ... I do not want to disappoint you, Jim. But I know, I want to be yours."

“Noonien,” Jim said and there was slight chiding and a hint of that disappointment in his tone, “I don’t need this to want to come back to you.  You’ve already given me more than anyone else in my life, my loving Noonien.  And when I can, I swear to you that I will find a way to visit.  You don’t have to do this to prove anything to me or keep me or for any reason at all.  Especially if you really don’t want to.  I am your Jim, your husband, and I don’t want anything that you do not.”  He held Khan’s gaze throughout all of it, hoping his lover understood both his seriousness and his love.

Khan listened carefully, though his face relaxed into an almost smile to hear Jim scold him for being so insecure. "I want to be yours, Jim." Khan said again, kissing Jim on the lips slowly before he continued. "No- I am yours." He corrected, keeping their eyes locked. "But taking me, claiming me, may be a long process ... I do not know that I can give you everything, all in one night. But I am yours, Jim. As you are mine." Toes curling as Khan squeezed his thighs around his lover, the augment tried to reengage Jim's interest.

“This is more than enough,” Jim said.  “Although I would like to have you inside me a few times before we have to part.  I want a few physical reminders of your love to carry with me for awhile.”  He slid his hands up Khan’s sides and around his neck, leaning in to renew their kisses.  The legs on his sides were powerful, and Jim knew they could crush him without strain.  And that made everything undeniably hotter, as it always did with the more powerful Khan.

Finally Jim managed to solicit a soft purr from Khan, his body arching under the touch. He kissed his lover back eagerly, encouraging the grip Jim had on him. In a way, knowing that this was enough for now, allowed Khan to enjoy himself in the moment more freely. Anxieties of anything more were off the table, he didn't have to think about them and therefore could enjoy the way Jim handled him now. "Yes Jim-" Khan whispered between their lips. "Anything you want."

“You might even consider letting me top from the bottom,” Jim murmured, amused by Khan’s response.  He did so love the purring.  He sometimes wished Khan had the tail of a cat because he bet that would be expressive.  Oh well, fantasies for times when he was alone and wanting.  Which would be plenty.  He drew his fingers lovingly up Khan’s sides and paused at his nipples, which he played with sensually, twisting, pulling and scraping along their lengths to get them to peak for him.

"Oh?" Khan glanced down, watching Jim tease him with a little grin. A few times a sweet shiver crawled up his spine and his groaned softly, kissing Jim in response. "Explain. How does that work?" He asked, giving a few small but loving bites to the side of Jim's neck and jaw.

“I can ride you within an inch of my life,” Jim said with a teasing wiggle of his eyebrows.  “And you can just lay back and enjoy it...at least until I need a little of your strength to keep going.”  He leaned in to kiss his forehead and then over his mouth again.  “But in the end, I would like to be in your arms, looking up into your eyes while you claim me in the most fundamental of ways.”  He grinned and kissed his mouth sweetly.  “But first, let us enjoy this water and this moment and everything it offers.”  He rutted a little more firmly into Khan.

"The things that come out of your mouth, Captain-" Khan smiled, kissing him with a hum. "Naughty and wonderful." Khan gave another soft groan, feeling his balls tighten as Jim began to grind against him. In the water and in Jim's arms, Khan had been given time to get used to the idea, his body was beginning to respond, squeezing around Jim's hips and rolling with each thrust, accepting the intimacy more and more.

“Oh, I have never treated you to a full course of my foul mouth,” Jim said.  “You’ve always seemed to be a little too refined for my normal saucy language.”  He winked and heightened his own response to Khan’s rolling hips, pleasure making his eyes hazy and his tongue roll across his lips.  “Do you want to come this way, Noonien?  Just rubbing against each other like starved animals, nothing between us but water?”  He leaned in to suck at the nipples he’d just been tormenting with his fingers.

It was true, Khan himself was not much for dirty talk and rarely let a curse slip from his lips, but Jim was a talker, he was as expressive with his language as he was with his body. On the verge of asking Jim for an example, to be free with his language, Khan instead ended up drawing in breath with a hiss as Jim teased his now sensitive nipples. "Yes, Jim." He said, grasping a handful of short hair as his hips bucked, rolling back against Jim, asking for more friction.

Jim chuckled and nipped at the bud under his mouth, knowing that Khan would be especially sensitive there.  He reached down to grasp both of their cocks in one knowing hand and rubbed the two of them together, even as he thrust harder into his lover.  He lifted his mouth from the tempting little bud to groan at the increased sensations.  “I’m close, my Noonien.  Fuck, this is so amazing.  You drive me so crazy.”  His hips drove even more powerfully into Khan’s, sensing his lover was inviting of the increased contact.  

"Yes, Jim- Yes. Please." Khan whispered his encouragement, nipping at Jim. It was so very different to be wanted and desired in this way, but exciting too, being able to see it in Jim's face and in the way his muscles clenched in his body. Khan let his body roll with each thrust, hips squirming and pushing back as they rubbed. Fixating on Jim's mouth, Khan sucked his own lips before posing his question, "Do you imagine I feel good? Is that what you are thinking?"

“Imagine?” Jim asked and shook his head.  “You do feel good, you crazy man.  Fuck, you feel incredible, just like you always do.  But if you are asking me if I wonder and imagine what it would be like inside you...well, fuck, yeah, I can’t help but think about that.”  He leaned in for another kiss, having noticed the way Khan was sucking at his own mouth, which was also incredibly hot.  A few more thrusts against his lover would probably finish him.

Khan seemed delighted by this answer. Which logically shouldn't be that surprising to him, since he enjoyed rubbing and grinding or even just laying against Jim, so it stood to reason that Jim liked doing the same to Khan. But for some reason Khan's brain just wasn't wired that way, he had not expected Jim to get the same pleasure out of it as Khan did when the roles were reversed.  "Yes, Jim-" Khan smiled into the kiss, fingers pressing into the back of his neck as he held on, letting Jim take what he could, even if it was not as much as he perhaps wanted. "Yes ... I am yours, Jim ... good."

Jim threw back his head and yelled at the ceiling as the praise and pleasure threw him over the edge.  He hoped Khan didn’t mind that he was making a mess in his nice spa, but he could not hold back a second longer.  He stroked Khan’s cock to bring him to the same climax (hopefully), wanting them to finish together.  “Please, Noonien.  Let me feel you come for me,” he urged through his own orgasm.

"Oh-" Khan panted softly against Jim, feeling the force of his orgasm against his body. A part of him of course imagined what it would have felt like, to be filled in such a way. But having Jim press against him like this, being good to him while still showing his need, it was all quite arousing. "Yes, Jim." He whispered, kissing Jim on the mouth, then nuzzled their noses together as he glanced down, seeing the thin strings of white cum floating in the pool between their bodies. That was for him. That could have been Jim planting his seed, claiming Khan for his own. In a way it was. It was close enough. Khan continued to rub their faces together affectionately, rubbing and asking for more of his scent before his thighs clenched around Jim, trembling slightly before managing a small release. And although it was not as explosive as it had been in times past, to Khan it was quite intense, considering the position he was in. It had not come easy, so when his orgasm had struck, it pulled at him hard.

Jim noted that Khan had not come as copiously as usual and felt a tug of regret for having put him in a position he did not feel as comfortable with.  He promised he would make it up in multiple ways to his husband, by being even more submissive and needy than ever later.  He turned his face into Khan’s to kiss him sweetly and said, “Thank you.  That was amazing for me.”

"Yes?" Khan hummed as they kissed, which dissolved into a soft moan. As strong and confident as Khan was in every other regard, in this one instance, he was a little shy, even uncertain, hence his stupid questions that Jim managed to so easily dismiss. It would take time before Khan would become better at processing these feelings. "My Jim." He settled quietly, hugging himself to his lover as they continued to kiss.

Jim smiled and said, “Your Jim, indeed.  Shall we eat what you brought for us?  I hate to waste all the effort you went to.”  He looked at the plate of desserts Khan had carried down, and his stomach rumbled. Which was freaking embarrassing, considering their current posture.  He sheepishly looked at Khan.  “I think I made need it anyway.”

"Yes." Khan nodded quietly, pressing a few more lingering kisses to Jim's skin before he parted his legs in such a way that he slipped off Jim's hips and his feet were back on the smooth rock surface under them. "I would like to treat you-" he suggested, letting one thumb tease at Jim's lip, "Will you sit with me here in the pool, and let me feed you?"

“If I can do the same for you,’ Jim said hopefully.  “Not that I’ll refuse to eat if you say no.”  He shifted off of Khan and to the bench beside him, still pressed close, however. His left hand dropped to rub at Khan’s thigh and hip, not wanting to stop touching his lover.  “And then after, we can retire to your bedroom to be close for a lot longer.”   He leaned in for another series of kisses to Khan’s face, now showing his own desire to let his stronger lover see his devotion to him.

"I would like that." Khan answered, letting his eyes close for a moment, keeping their faces pressed cheek to cheek as Jim kept his hands on him. It was a simple show of trust that Khan wanted to make clear was still there. It was a long and lingering gesture before Khan pressed a kiss to the side of Jim's face and opened his eyes again in order to reach for the plate of fruits. "Here, try this one first. It has a chewy texture, but the taste reminds me of chocolate." Khan said, offering a deep red fruit that was no bigger then his thumb.

“All Bones’ approved” Jim said happily and gently took the fruit from Khan’s fingers with his mouth.  He chewed carefully and then smiled, eyes bright.  “That’s a fruit?  Awesome.”  He rewarded Khan with a kiss and said, “I’ll choose one for you and you can tell me what I’ve chosen.”  He selected a green, round fruit, since he was mistrustful of green objects.

"Yes-" Khan smiled, "it will save us from attempting to process sugars and native beans to create our own chocolates, when it comes so naturally off a tree." Glancing to what Jim had selected, then to the plate again, Khan appeared to think for a moment, recalling the difference between the different items. "That one was found on bushes, in a large thicket south of this mountain." Khan then opened his mouth and took it with his lips. Though once he closed his mouth around it, the fruit popped in his mouth, the juice swelling his mouth. "Hm-" Khan pressed his hand to the center of Jim's chest, "You should sample that one." He said with a little grin before kissing him openly, sharing the sweet taste.

Jim made a pleased noise at the combination of Khan and fruit and angled his arms around Khan’s neck to prolong the contact.  “Okay.  I’ll have some of those, as well.”  He licked his lips and grinned at Khan.  “And when I come back, I want some of your native chocolate. That’ll be awesome.  Chocolate I can eat!”  He rested their foreheads together, content to just remain, even though his innards gurgled again, aroused by the first bits of food.

"Good to know, if nothing else you will come back for the Kirk-friendly foods." Khan teased, feeling a little more confident now that Jim would indeed come back and therefore, it was alright to joke about. "By then, we will have recipes for cake and mousse, and much more ... though I hope we develop a reputation for more than sweets as our primary export." Khan and his people already were already conceiving great plans for their place in the universe, and it was certainly for more then chocolate fruits. Selecting another fruit from the tray, Khan peeled back the marbled green and yellow skin to reveal a white fleshy center. "Try this one?" He offered, his thumbs and fingers keeping the tough skin split so that Jim could enjoy the delicate insides.

Jim examined the new offering with a curious expression and then nibbled it out of the peel.  He widened his eyes at the sour tang, which was strong, if not unpleasant.  “Oh wow, it’s like a lemonhead!  I haven’t had one of those since I was a kid.  Mom used to get them sometimes...when she was around.”  A frown crinkled his forehead, and he leaned into Khan.  “May I have another?”

"Yes, of course." Khan said, reaching for the plate to grab another one. Digging his thumbs in, Khan peeled back the skin of another one and offered it to Jim slowly. Jim seemed ... sorrowful? Melancholy? He wasn't sure. But it was clear that this represented a taste of his childhood, which in the end may not necessarily be a good thing. "Shall we name them lemonheads?" He asked gently, seeing how willing Jim was to speak on the subject.

Jim chuckled and said, “That would be kind of awesome.  I think I’d like that...if nobody else minds.”  He ate the second fruit and enjoyed the flavor just as much as before.  “There were times she tried so hard, you know?” he said out of nowhere.  “And then she’d just give up and abandon us for space...until Sam ran away. And then she sent me to Tarsus...not that she could have known, but… the taste of this reminds me of some of the good times.”

Discarding the shelled skin back on the plate, Khan then cupped the side of Jim's face, letting his thumb brush over his lips. "I am glad then, that I could offer you a reminder of good times." He said, giving Jim a brief kiss, sealing in the taste and memory of better days. "Perhaps we can send you off with a crate of lemonheads, to last you a little while." He offered, trying to find another on the plate, except there had only been two of everything to begin with.

“Have you already gathered enough to share with us?” Jim asked and then laughed.  “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.  Your family is pretty much amazing. Though nobody can match you.”  He noticed Khan looking at the plate with a slightly forlorn expression and reached out to pick up a strange, pink, slightly prickly object. “How is this eaten?”

Khan was pleased to hear Jim think well of his family. And was only sorry he could not get to know them better, but was satisfied that he now saw them in part through Khan's eyes, and therefore understood why he needed to stay with them. "We do not have any crates prepared at this time, but I can arrange it so you leave with a shipment before you go." Khan said, more then willing to send a handful of his people to pick the fruit that very moment so that Jim could leave with the treat he seemed to favor. "Here-" He said, showing Jim a natural seam to the fruit from where the stem had been cut, "You must crack it open here and it should split in half for you ... then you lick out the insides."

“That’s kind of kinky,” Jim said and did as directed, but then he held the edible part up to Khan.  “Let me see you demonstrate, Noonien.  I’m rather fond of your wicked tongue.”  He was glad to see brightness in his lover’s eyes again.  “If it’s not putting any of you out, I’d love a crate of your native foods to go.  Another reminder of you to last awhile.  Also, they’re pretty tasty.”

"It is not an inconvenience, Jim. I will happily make the arrangements once we are done here." Khan said, then accepted the one half of the fruit. Cupping it in one hand, Khan held it up slightly, so that he had to lift his head and stretch his neck slightly to eat it in the way he described. Like this, he looked something like a hummingbird trying to get at a flower just out of reach, rather then a dog eating from a bowl. With the edges of the fruit forming a natural cup, Khan held it while he licked at it, digging the tip of his tongue into the narrow crevice so that he could get at the flesh of the fruit.

Jim watched with admiration, although he was sad that he could not hold it and let Khan eat it from his hand.  Still, the rapid-fire motion of his tongue made Jim squirm in all the right ways, and he asked, “Is it good?  What does it taste like, my Noonien?  I should like to hear it from you before I try it myself.”  

"It is creamy, once you get in there ... it is a subtle taste, cooling on the tongue, perhaps like a chilled grape or melon." Khan cupped the back of Jim's hand, encouraging him to try his half. "It is worth the effort." He said with a little smile, leaning in to kiss Jim on the shoulder as he shifted closer to him in the pool.

“I like the melons I can eat,” Jim said and relaxed against Khan, eyes shutting a little as lips pressed over his shoulder.  “I’ll give it a try,” he said and imitated Khan’s way of eating the fruit.  He grinned a little at the flavor and said, “Man, you really did pick the right planet in the end.  This place has amazing foods, and you’ve barely started exploring.”  He set aside the remaining edges when he was done and asked, “What more do you have for me?”

"These were just small treats ... we can return to the dinner table if you like. I know this evening has turned out disjointed and out of the ordinary, but I would still like you to eat." Khan said, letting his fingers brush against Jim's wrists before sliding their hands together, one cupped under the other.

“Yeah, I want to eat what you prepared for me, Noonien,” Jim said.  “I know you went to a lot of trouble making dinner, so it seems a shame to waste it all.” He leaned into his lover and kissed his mouth tenderly.  “And then we can tangle together again for awhile on the couch, before we move to your bed.  I wouldn’t mind having you sing again for me, either.”

"It would be my pleasure." Khan said, lingering in the hot spring pool a minute longer before gently taking Jim by the hand to guide him out. Once they were both out of the pool however, Khan picked up his knee-length tunic, and instead of pulling it back on, he began to dress Jim in the princely attire instead. Of course it wasn't fitted to Kirk as it was to Khan, but the augment smiled even so, clearly liking the overall effect. "You look good in this." Khan said, gently manhandling Jim, finding that the cream and gold of the tunic made his blond hair that much brighter. Then pulling on his own pants. Khan lead the way, not minding that he was underdressed.

Jim smiled as Khan dressed him in the imperial outfit and said, “I should. My middle name is Tiberius, after all.”  He enjoyed the almost tender way Khan moved him about to get him dressed, comfortable with his lover’s actions.  And then he paused and poised to let Khan look him over, before following him out of the room.  “This will be easier to get me out of, too,” he said, taking Khan’s hand with one of his own.  He squeezed their joined fingers and brushed against Khan’s gorgeous, unadorned, torso.  “You’re so amazingly sexy, you know that?  I mean, I bet you know that, but you are anyway.”  He stopped them and trailed his fingers over the muscles of Khan’s abdomen.  

The name Tiberius was not unknown to Khan, he had seen it a few times whenever Kirk was mentioned in very formal Starfleet reports, but to hear Jim speak it was an entirely difference experience. "Tiberius." Khan hummed as he repeated back the name, finding pleasure in it. Where Khan's middle name Noonien was entirely intimate, Tiberius was a name worthy of an emperor to be known by all. And in a way, it balanced their personalities, for Khan to have something a touch informal at his center, and for Jim to have a hint of something formal and official as his center in turn.

"We have much better access to one another this way, don't you think?" Khan said with a smile, liking how being without a shirt drew Jim closer to him. "I am happy to remain in this state of undress, since you enjoy it so much." Though it was awkward for Khan to know how to respond whenever Jim told him he was attractive. He and the other augments were gorgeous, they were designed to be visually pleasing, something to want, something to aspire to, something of an idol worth following. Indeed, though his was warm with flesh and blood, his body was hard as chiseled stone, firm and strong against Jim's gentle touches. "We will eat. I shall sing to you. Perhaps we may even dance once more? Then I will bed you, my husband." Khan said, letting his fingers linger on Jim's forearms as he nuzzled the side of his face.

“I would like to dance at least one more time,” Jim agreed and returned the tender nuzzle to Khan’s face.  He briefly rested their foreheads together and then tugged at his lover again.  “Let’s eat and then get to the singing, dancing and bedding.”  He kissed Khan sweetly and stepped back from him, to the extent Khan’s hold allowed.  “I love you, Noonien.”

"Good." Khan agreed as he escorted Jim back to the table and pulled out the chair for him once more to sit. "I love you dearly, Jim." Khan said, kissing the side of his face before going to sit in his own chair. "I hope tonight serves as a reminder, that you can look back upon."

“Don’t say things like that when I can’t easily kiss you,” Jim said with a slight pout.  “I really want to kiss you right now.”  He sighed and looked down at the food before him.  “Tell me again what I have here, if you would, my loving Noonien.” He surveyed the wealth of deliciousness that awaited and blushed a bit when his stomach rumbled a loud approval of the fare.

"If you truly cannot help yourself, you could sit on my lap as we eat. Then we could kiss whenever the mood strikes." Khan suggested, not thinking Jim would truly take him up on the offer, but he did not like to see him pout. "As it is, the purple root vegetable we found to be bitter when eaten raw, but cooked as it is, and eaten with these green strands make for a complimentary side dish." Khan brandished some of the thin green strings on his own fork in contemplation, "We cannot agree on a name, as the color and nutrient value is very similar to seaweed, however it was found in a river, not an ocean, and has a much softer texture."

Jim glanced at the chair Khan sas in and did some quick mental math, before he scooted on over and sat on Khan, as invited.  “If you insist,” he said happily and dragged his plate over, too.  “All right, some complimentary side dish.”  He served himself a small portion and tried it, nodding once and saying, “Not bad.”  He scooped up a bunch more and then pokes at a long, thin, yellow pod-like object.  “What’s this?  Looks like a giant, yellow pea.”

Leaning his head to the side of Jim's arm in order to see around him, Khan nods once. "Yes, that is apt. Is it, simply put, a giant yellow pea." He said, resting his free hand on Jim's bare knee while using his other hand to manage his fork. "Sofia is still refining her technique with these, but this is a pasta made of several native grains." Khan said as he speared several thumb-sized pasta dumplings, eating one for himself, then offering the next bite to his lover.

“Oh, I love pasta,” Jim said and carefully ate the one offered him.  “Mmmm.  What’s the sauce? It tastes cheesy and creamy.  You don’t have native cows already, do you?”  He was teasing, but wouldn’t put it past them to have managed it somehow.  He reached for the yellow pea pod and tried a bite of that, as well.  His nose wrinkled a bit.  “That’s a little sour.  How weird.”

"No, not cheese. No animal byproducts as of yet. Though several days ago a scouting team reported finding an animal that could easily be related to a goat. They might be a prime choice for domestication, in order to have the luxury of milk and cheese. No, what you have there is a nut-based sauce. Kirk-safe of course. But it is quite tasty and creamy, don't you agree?" Though seeing that Jim did not like the giant pea very much, Khan put down his fork and leaned forward to pour him a glass cold brewed tea. "Here, to clear your palate."

Jim sipped the tea with a murmured ‘thanks’ and then smiled at Khan.  “I didn’t not like it...the flavor caught me by surprise.  I wasn’t ready for sour, when I was expecting pea.”  He laughed at his own words.  “The dumpling was amazing, though.  I’ll take more of that, please.”  He opened his mouth like a baby bird, hoping Khan might feed him.

More than willing to indulge Jim in this way, Khan speared a few more pasta dumplings with his fork and raised the offering up, close for Jim to take a bite. Quietly, Khan kept his head pressed against Jim, enjoying how it felt to hear him breathe or talk while in his embrace. Subtly, his arm tightened across his lap, hugging him close, enjoying the weight and warmth of him on his lap. "I am sure we will have much more to offer, when you return."

Jim noticed how close Khan held him now and pressed a kiss to his hair during a break in being fed.  “Have some yourself?” He lifted one expertly and held it up to Khan’s mouth.  “I don’t want to be hogging everything.”  His free hand brushed over the back of his neck and then rubbed the area in slow circles, wanting to be soothing and arousing at the same time.  “And these are amazing.”

"Thank you." Khan smiled, looking up at Jim as he took a bite. Overall his expression was quite warm, adoring, satisfied with the closeness and warmth of Jim on his lap, kept as close as possible for the few hours they had left together. Though with one hand, Khan stretched out his reach for a piece of flatbread which he spread a pink jelly on before offering this to Jim, "Try this?"

Jim took the bread in his mouth and chewed slowly, eyes closing in enjoyment.  “That’s lovely.  Almost like strawberries...what I remember of them before my tongue started swelling up.  And I can eat this!  That’s awesome.”  He took more large bites to finish the entire offering, humming his pleasure.   “May I have another?” he asked, looking at his lover hopefully.  “And then I’ll give you a piece.”

"Of course." Leaning his head against Jim once more, Khan reached forward and spread another serving of the jelly over the flatbread. "I am glad you like it-" It was a surprising turn of fate how much this planet had to offer, plants, vegetation, animal life ... it was a secluded paradise, that anyone would be lucky to visit, let alone call home. As he offered Jim seconds, Khan began to quietly wonder if the Starfleet Captain would ever consider retiring here with him, when the time came. But that was something to think about in the far future, so there was no sense making plans or promises about it now.

Jim looked at his lover as he slowly savored his second piece of bread.  He finished the morsel and then pressed a kiss to Khan’s forehead.  “Live in the now,” he said, recognizing the slightly faraway look on his lover’s face.  “I’m here with you, my loving Noonien.”  He began to press small kisses to the softness of his crown, before nuzzling in to stay for a moment. “I’m still here.”  He wrapped his arms around Khan’s neck and just held on for a few moments, humming softly.

"Yes, you are." Khan said softly. As his hand came to rest on Jim's thigh, Khan thumbed over the rise of his hip, knowing he would need to hold onto the memory of how it felt to have Jim in his arms. Raising his head, Khan rested his chin on Jim's shoulder, and the two men just hugged for a time. Once Khan was able to sufficiently clear his mind, he pulled back his head slightly and smiled fondly, "Feed me something?"

“Anything I want?” Jim asked and wiggled his eyebrows playfully.  He turned toward the platter and considered it all with careful thought.  And then he picked up something that looked like a piece of pumpkin.  Surveying it carefully, he held it in offer to Khan.  “Should I put anything on this or do you eat it plain?”  His ass shifted a little on his lover’s lap, tilting him even closer to let Khan peruse the offered food.  “I like the look of it.  Smells very different from a pumpkin though...kind of like clove, which I can’t eat.”

Staring up at Jim, at peace for a moment, Khan trusted whatever Jim's intentions, watching him as he selected the next item. "It can be eaten plain, but I rather enjoy it with that brown sauce, in the shallow dish ... just dip a corner in lightly. Please."

Jim dipped the vegetable in the sauce, taking the care Khan had asked for.  He cupped a hand under the piece to make sure nothing dropped and brought it to Khan’s lips.  “Tell me what it tastes like after,” he murmured.  “Sweet?  Sour?  Bitter?  I’m thinking something like acorn squash maybe.”  He waited until Khan swallowed and then kissed him, wanting to share the flavor that way.  His fingers crept into Khan’s soft hair, stroking the strands as their mouths explored each other.

Khan hummed and smiled as he got to share Jim's mouth as part of the meal. "Yum." He said in a whisper between their lips. Eyes closing as Jim pet his fingers through his hair, Khan savoured the touch and the kiss. "Hmm- I think that is my favourite serving, yet." He said, then kissed Jim again, opening his mouth to him again, sucking gently at his tongue.

Jim hummed into their joined mouths, tongue dueling with Khan’s.  His lover allowed him to explore the warm depths, as Jim could never win with his own strength.  He pulled away with a low moan and said, “I want you again, Noonien.  I need you to make love to me soon.”  His fingers massaged into Khan’s scalp, knowing how much that pleased his lover.  

It was a strange power that Jim had over Khan. And instead of being threatened by it, Khan had come to adore Jim for it. From every direct word (said in love or in anger), to every touch that melted his brain just a little more, Khan knew and accepted that he was weak for Jim Kirk. This man, who was at first a sliver under the skin, had pierced his heart and would never be severed from him now. "Yes, Jim." Khan said, tilting his head back into the lovely fingers against his scalp. "Where? And how? My husband."

Jim drank in Khan’s obvious pleasure in having his hair and scalp so knowingly massaged, even as he himself enjoyed the feel of the luxurious strands between his fingers.  “In your bed, Noonien.  On my back, so I may look into your eyes as you take what is already yours. You know I can’t hide anything from you, so you’ll see everything, too.”  He nuzzled their cheeks together.  “But I’m afraid as a mere human, even with this bit of dinner, I shall need a bit of time before such activity is wise.  And until then, I want to take off all my clothes and just entwine with you on the sofa.  I want to feel every inch of your skin against mine and kiss you until I’m half-drugged with desire and need.”

"Not a mere human. My love and my husband." Khan said as he kissed him on the side of the neck. "But we will lay together and rest, bask in skin and touch." Even now, Khan slid his hand a little up the underside of the tunic Khan had fitted him in, slowly climbing up the length of his leg to palm in the inside of his thigh. "Let me up?" He said mischievously, already kissing Jim at the base of his throat.

Jim arched his neck and made a whining noise of encouragement in response to the knowing mouth teasing his throat.  “Yes, always, Noonien,” he said and spread his legs open a little wider, the touch making him shiver.  “Up.  Right.”  He scooted back and stood up, one hand still on Khan’s strong right shoulder.  His other hand curled around Khan’s face, and he leaned in to kiss him sweetly, tongue tracing over the tender lips.  

Even though they were standing together, Khan continued to slip his hand under the tunic, pushing the fabric up as he slid his hand over his lover's hips. Khan enjoyed the feeling of Jim as his body gave a slight tremble of excitement. He would miss that. And he would miss the way Jim touched him, kissed him, smiled at him, or spoke with him. Their shared dinners, or adventures on remote planets. Thoughtful discussions during officer briefings, or cuddling together quietly before the start of Jim's shift. Khan acknowledged that Jim Kirk had changed his life, drastically, deeply, and for the better. "I love you, Jim." He said gently when their lips parted for a breath.

“Noonien,” Jim answered in the same tone.  “Fuck.  I love you so much.”  He began to struggle out of the tunic, needing to feel the warmth and softness of his lover’s skin against him, as well as the strength of his arms.  “Please.”  He leaned into Khan and pressed a warm mouth to his long neck, nibbling up to suck lightly at his lobe.  “I need to be close to you, Noonien.  I need to feel you against me for the rest of the night.  I want everything for these last few hours.”

With a nod, Khan guided Jim back to the couch. For a moment he had to take his hands off his lover in order to remove his own pants, but kept kissing him in consolation. As soon as Khan managed to step out of his pants, the two men settled on the couch together, completely naked, so that there was only skin against skin. With a hand at the back of his head, Khan encouraged Jim to recline and lay out on his back, while the augment settled over him, trapping Jim under the weight of his body. "Better?" He prompted with a little smile, kissing just under his jaw.

“Oh, yes,” Jim said and settled comfortably under Khan, body aligning naturally with his lover’s.  He slid his hands over the strength and warmth of Khan’s back and into his hair, urging him into a kiss.  His lips parted sensually to encourage Khan to explore, inviting him to take the lead and expressing his willingness to follow.  He wanted Khan to take the role he felt most comfortable with, the one that would give him the most pleasure.

"Lovely-" Khan purred, feeling Jim offer himself up, giving in to Khan to set the pace. Gently, Khan probed his tongue between Jim's parted lips until their mouths were open to the other. It was a slow build, but soon the kiss was deep and penetrating, and one that barely left room to breathe, as Khan wanted to leave Jim literally breathless and hot and panting. "Jim." He hummed, his tone low and pleased. There was so much untapped strength to the augment, so much he was careful not to use, but from time to time, Khan would let a little taste of it slip through. "I want to hear my name on your lips." He said, giving a teasing bite to his lips, encouraging them to speak.

“Noonien,” Jim breathed, since he was working on catching up with his oxygen supply, and pressed up into the powerful man above him.  It was a tease, a playful test of the immense strength of his lover, an invitation to show it off a bit for the lover who found it so intoxicating.  “Noonien, please.”  He spread his legs to cradle Khan’s narrow hips and pressed their groins more intimately together, groaning softly. He was not too hard yet, but being this close to Khan always excited him.  “Kiss me some more, Noonien.”

"Yes-" Khan agreed, then took complete command of Jim's mouth, groaning as they kissed, letting their tongues press and twist. Both large hands moved to cup Jim on the side of the face, thumbing over the strong lines of his jaw. His weight settled again, between Jim's parted thighs, his own erection comfortably trapped between their bodies. With a roll of their lips, Khan pushed to have more friction, more heat between them. And while both men still had traces of dinner on their lips and tongues, Khan was very clearly hungry for something else.

Oh.  Jim’s body jolted a bit at the firm grip on his head and the equally demanding cock pressed against his abs.  He hummed delight into their joined mouths and answered the hunger with his own, though always with a tinge of submission to the powerful augment.  He combed through the soft strands of Khan’s hair, memorizing the softness under his fingertips.  “You don’t need to wait, do you, Noonien?” Jim asked when he was allowed a breath.  “I can feel how hard you are already against me.  Would you like to mark me with your release, spread it all over me?”

"With you Jim, no, I never need to wait." Khan could very likely come on command if it came to it, and felt he probably had once or twice before. "I would like that very much, my husband." Khan admitted, sucking on Jim's lower lip. "Will you stay as you are, my Jim? Lay here under me as I mark you with me seed?" He asked, letting the pad of his thumb brush over Jim's lips in place of kissing him again, giving his jaw a brief rest.

Jim sucked at the thumb over his mouth, eyes wide and heated and loving.  He bathed the nail and pad with his tongue, exploring the tiny grooves of his skin.  When he finally released the wet fingertip, he said, “I’ll probably moan and squirm because I’ll enjoy it so much, but I won’t go any distance.  I want to be marked this way, Noonien.  And in other ways before our time together ends.”  His hips arched up into his lover’s and pressed against Khan’s cock teasingly.  “Are you going to stroke yourself until you explode all over me or shall I get you off?”  He would love either way, though the idea of watching his lover touch himself made Jim’s blood run very very hot.

"No, my Jim ..." Khan gave him a slightly dangerous look, "You are not to touch me just yet." Though to not leave Jim feeling uncertain, Khan kissed him one last, lingering him. Then sitting up, Khan pushed his knees under the back of Jim's thighs, so that his lover remained parted around his hips. Sitting up like this, Khan pressed the flat of his hand down, over Jim's chest, taking his time to feel each breath fill his lungs, and every beat of his strong heart. "You are mine to take, and mine to mark-" He said, looking down at Jim with a slight gasp as he began to stroke himself in a slow tease until he was fully hard. With his eyes down, Khan experimented a little, sliding his erection against Jim's balls and the shaft of his cock. "Hmm-"

Jim made a disappointed noise at being denied touch, but slid his arms up over his head, joining his hands together in a physical promise to be a good boy and leave them where they were.  The flash of real power in his lover’s eyes sent a near frightened chill up and down his spine, since Khan could force him to do anything without effort.  But the sweetness of the kiss and the desire in his eyes afterward reassured him that he could trust Noonien in all things.  His own gaze drifted all over that powerful body, now positioned over him, and to the thick, long erection that appeared ready to burst at any second.  He licked his lips again and said, “You look a little bit harried there, Noonien, like you’re going to explode with just the slightest provocation.  Are you picturing my body covered in your claim, looking and smelling of you in every inch?”

"Yes, Jim-" Khan groaned deeply, scratching his fingers over Jim's stomach. "You will make for such a pretty mess." Though Khan seemed to enjoy towering over Jim like this, looking down at his body outstretched under him, on display, laid out like a feast to be consumed. Khan slowly pumped his hand over himself, his hold tightening near the base. Then needing his second hand, Khan reached under and cupped his own balls, fingering the underside and teasing the vein there, pressing and petting the tips of his fingers. "Ahhh- Jim." Khan sighed deeply, head dropping forward on his shoulders slightly. "Good-"

Jim did squirm impatiently as Khan took his time, his own cock throbbing in sympathy with his lover’s.  But fuck, watching Khan touch himself, watching that beautiful cock grow into something huge and demanding, made Jim flushed and wanting.  He whined a little at Khan, hands digging into themselves as he struggled not to reach up and touch like he wanted.  “Noonien.  Fuck.  I want to touch. Please.”

"No." Khan growled softly. Though he could see that Jim was tempted, and so in order to make it quite clear what his position was right now, Khan leaned forward and pinned both of Jim's hands down behind his head. His body arched over Jim like a massive bridge, Khan's head fell between his shoulders completely now as he gasped, hips rolling and pressing as his fingers strangled the base of his erection, almost painfully hard. Then release. Blissful release. Khan was coming, spilling himself all over the front of Jim's chest and stomach, in hot lines of white cum. With another soft growl, Khan grinned and immediately began to wipe his hand over the unmarked areas of Jim's smooth skin.

Jim struggled a little against the hold, more because he couldn’t help himself than that he really objected.  Also, it revved him up that much more to be so effectively pinned under Khan’s strength.  And when Khan came, striping Jim’s front with copious lines of thick semen, he made a series of increasingly desperate noises, wanting to feel that splatter everywhere and help it along.  But Khan kept him down, even as he used his own hand to spread his claim all over the unblemished areas of Jim’s body.  

“Noonien,” Jim said, trying to keep the whine from his voice.  “Do I smell like you now?  Fuck, I wish I had senses as good as yours.  I want to be able to smell how well you’ve marked me.  Tell me.  Do you need to spread more on me?  I’d like that.  To be covered in your jizz, all over from head to toe.  I know you can do that.  Just keep coming until I’m a mess everywhere.”

"Oh, Jim." Khan shuddered as a new heat rose up his spine when Jim offered himself again. Releasing his wrists for a moment, Khan used both hands to massage his slick into Jim's skin, rubbing it over each muscle. "You smell good, my love ..." Khan bowed his head down, letting the tip of his nose hover just over Jim's chest, then gave his salty skin a lick, dragging his tongue over his nipple only once. His eyelashes lay flat as he closed his eyes lightly. "I will mark you again, Jim, until you are saturated ... until you can sense it for yourself." He said, then gave another slow lick of his skin. "But not like this. I want you on the floor, my Jim." There was that subtle flicker of danger again, just behind his sharp eyes, "I will not harm you, my love. But I will hold you down again."

Jim kept his hands above his head, still obeying the command not to touch, though he trembled with the strain.  Especially when Khan’s rough tongue worked over his nipple...once.  He made a loud noise of protest to have been teased without any further touching, but then silenced as Khan spoke.  He swallowed hard at the words and the fire in Khan’s expression, wondering, in the part of his brain not swamped by being turned on, if this was his lover’s response to their imminent parting.  “On the floor,” he echoed and nodded slowly.  “On my hands and knees?”

"No, my love-" Khan said, still wanting to be a reassuring presence and knowing that taking Jim from behind had disastrous outcomes in the past. Khan petted his hand over Jim's body once more, lingering before he pulled back enough to let Jim escape out from under him. "Lay on your back, just as you are ... so gorgeously stretched out for me. I do not want you to touch yourself. I do not want you to touch me. It is a challenging task for you, my Jim, I know, but you will be rewarded for it, I promise you."

Jim nodded and glanced at the floor, considering where best to place himself.  There was a soft looking rug in one corner, hopefully not too expensive, but something to protect Jim’s back from too much rugburn.  He slid off the couch and made his way over, casting a somewhat coy and almost shy glance at Khan over one shoulder.  Spreading himself out on the rug again, he laced his hands over his head in the same gesture as before, shivering a bit at how exposed he felt, on the floor with Khan looming above him.  “Like this?”

Khan took his time with Jim now, standing over him, looking down upon his obedient lover. "Beautiful, Jim." Khan let his cock twitch back to life on its own, not yet touching himself again. Instead, his bare foot gently nudged the inside of Jim's thigh, pressing just enough to get his lover to open his leg for him. "You are a gift, my love ... mine to enjoy." Khan then stepped over Jim and with an easy grace, lowered himself down to his knees, straddling Jim's chest. Though he did not crush Jim with his weight, the young Captain was indeed pinned to the floor. Curling his back, Khan made sure to kiss Jim on the mouth, sweetly and loving with a soft groan as he felt heat already building in the pocket between Jim's skin and his heavy sac.

Jim shifted a little on the rug as Khan strolled over to him.  He had not played this kind of game with anyone in a long time and found it a little hard not to challenge Khan, even as he lay spread open and vulnerable to the augment.  His leg eased open with the push, and he shivered a little, eyes dropping almost demurely away from that icy gaze.  But they snapped back up when Khan lowered himself and leaned in for a kiss.  He did not respond to the kiss though, a little unsure if touching includes with his mouth, even when his lover initiated the contact.  Not that he was unwelcoming, just pliant, giving to Khan’s attentions without offering anything back of his own.  Khan had tried so hard before to give Jim what he wanted, so Jim did the same for him.

"Jim?" The demand was gone from his voice, and Khan pet his fingers through Jim's blond hair. "Will you not kiss me?" He asked, nuzzling the side of his face, lips pressing soft kisses to his jaw. He reached for Jim's hands, to entangle their fingers. If Jim had changed his mind, Khan wanted to know.

Jim smiled and asked, “That’s all right then?  Kissing?  I wasn’t sure.”  He curled his fingers around Khan’s at the prompting, deciding that Khan meant he couldn’t touch first.  He shut his eyes and purred at the attention, loving the gentle kisses to his face.  “You said not to touch.”

Put at ease that he had not upset Jim with this type of encounter, Khan sighed and smiled a little, kissing the side of his face again as he whispered. "Yes, you are correct ... you are not to touch, except at my direction ... but I do expect you to kiss me back." He said, letting their lips brush again, testing Jim's interest.

Jim parted his lips and licked at Khan’s mouth, before pressing up a little bit into the kiss.  He kept the contact light, though, subservient even in this kind of way.  But he was not upset...curious, yes, and not sure he can keep his word, but he wanted to see where Khan led.  He tightened his fingers a little more into Khan’s.

With one last kiss, Khan then sat back with a thoughtful sigh. Taking Jim by the wrists, Khan guided his hands to lay flat against Khan's thighs, giving him permission to keep them there. Trusting that Jim would be obedient, Khan lightly let his eyes close as he reached down and began to stroke himself slowly with one hand, petting his cock with care, knowing it took a certain touch to bring it back to life so soon after coming. In a way, Khan was on display for his lover, though sitting on his chest, it almost made him look like a statue on a pedestal. Reaching under with his free hand, Khan once more began to gently tug at his sac, massaging the tender skin as he brought his cock to life again. "Suck on my thumb, Jim. I need it wet." He said, offering the flat of his thumb, while the rest of his hand palmed the side of his face.

Jim was surprised by Khan’s actions, but left his hands where they were placed, though his thumbs made small circles into the skin.  Khan was strong, warm and smooth beneath his palms, and the desire to stroke and explore nearly choked Jim.  It was harder to keep his hands here then above his head.  There, he didn’t feel the utter temptation of Khan’s body the way he does now.  So, the offer of a thumb in his mouth relieved him, something else to focus on.

He swallowed the whole digit without a word and shut his eyes as the salty flavor exploded over his tastebuds.  His lips formed a perfect ‘o’ around the length, so he can suck with a toddler’s delight, but a lover’s knowledge.  And fuck, he wanted to keep the finger there, engulfed in his mouth and soothing him with its presence.  He knew it must be dripping by now, but doesn’t stop the demanding sucking.

"Very good, my love." Khan said as he pulled his thumb out, smoothing it over the head of his cock immediately, getting it thoroughly wet, before dragging the remaining saliva under the crest. His hips bucked naturally at the self imposed tease. Quietly, Khan played with himself for a little while longer, seeing the forced reserve play out on Jim's features. "You enjoyed having something in your mouth, didn't you my love? Would you like something else to suck on? Be honest." He said with a gentle purr, his hips gently rocking, scooting himself over Jim's chest.

“Yes,” Jim said with an eager nod, eyes on the lovely cock now approaching him.  “I do like sucking on things, Noonien.  Especially parts of you.  My mouth is watering just thinking about it.”  He flicked his tongue out at Khan, urging him on.  “Please.”

With complete care, Khan kept his hand on the side of Jim's face as he sat forward on his knees. He no longer had the weight of Khan on his chest, but he would be trapped in another way. "Very good, Jim." Khan let the head of his cock slip against Jim's tongue, then push slowly into his sweet mouth. Khan groaned deeply as he took Jim's mouth, knowing it would be even more difficult for him to escape like this, especially with being gagged by the augment's cock, which could so easily keep him from breathing if he was not careful with his lover. "Oh- Jim." It was sweet bliss, his nerves still sharp from his last orgasm.

Jim’s hands tightened on Khan’s thighs, as he concentrated on taking every inch of Khan’s cock.  It was a huge organ, and he had no control over the rate or depth of the encounter.  When the tip hit the back of his throat, he forced himself not to gag, though tears sprung to his eyes.  He swallowed a few times instead, allowing Khan into his throat, truly choking off his wind.  But he did not protest in any way, even as inside parts of him flailed a bit in panic.  Instead, he shut his eyes and focused on the feel of the length inside him, the taste and heat of his lover.

"Oh, Jim." The name was spoken breathlessly, reverently. Khan allowed himself a slow fuck to the back of his throat, then back again, enjoying how well he swelled to fit in Jim's hot, wet mouth. "Once more for me, my love." He said, giving Jim plenty of warning before he pushed in again. With his back curled, Khan looked down, watching himself disappear into Jim's mouth, then back out again, leaving him just the head to suck on. "So good ..." He said, combing the tips of his fingers through the soft blond hair on the top of Jim's head.

The second time was more difficult than the first, as Khan managed to increase in size even more.  He fought back the urge to gag even harder, though a few tears now leaked down his cheeks from the force.  He was obviously a bit out of practice, and this angle was not one he’d tried often.  Also, Khan was just ridiculously huge, so that swallowing him down was no mean feat.  But he did his best to make the whole thing pleasurable for his lover, tongue working as long as he could on the length.  And he kept his teeth mostly sheathed, except for for a little bit here and there to tease and test Khan’s reactions.  

When he could breathe again, Jim tried hard not to gulp air in relief and kept his mouth sealed tight.  He sucked just as eagerly on the head of Khan’s cock as he had his thumb earlier, and with the same tender care.  His tongue worked gently on the slit to taste Khan’s precum and try to bring him even higher.  The fingers in his hair encouraged him to keep going, and he hummed contentedly at the tender touches, which eased some of the strain.

The tears had not gone unnoticed, but Khan did not want to draw too much attention to them. Without comment, Khan softly thumbed over the side of his face, clearing away the small trail of tears before pushing his fingers back into Jim's hair. "Very good, my love ..." His chest heaved in a heavy sigh, finding the experience, even the slight scrape of teeth, very relaxing. It was a treat to have Jim like this, and even if they were not to part this evening, but live out the rest of their days together, Khan would not press for this sort of thing very often. "Ah- there-" He gave a slight hiss through his teeth as the tongue against his slit triggered the final build just behind his hips. With a slight pop out of his mouth, Khan sat back on Jim's chest and began to stroke his dripping wet length. "Do you still want my mess all over you, Jim?" He asked, looking down at his lover, his free hand on his shoulder. His toes curled back against themselves tightly as he rocked himself slowly.

“Yes,” Jim breathed, voice a little harsh from the strain.  “Yes, Noonien, please.  I want that badly.”  He swallowed a few times on his raw throat and smiled up at Khan, squeezing his thighs, from which his hands had not moved, per orders.  “I want to know you were pleased.”    

Khan knew he was not very vocal at times when it came to expressing his pleasure, but he did not want Jim to doubt his skill and effect on the augment. "Yes, Jim- you ..." His breath caught a moment as he struggled to hold back long enough to speak and lay Jim's concerns to rest. "Your mouth was perfect ... it still is ... even just looking at your lips ... I cannot wait, until I can kiss you again ... ah, Jim ... you are so good ... very willing to give me what I need." He said, careful not to use the word 'obedient' as he felt Jim might not like it. "Still mine-" He said, head tipping back as his fingers dug into the underside of his shaft, squeezing himself in pulses as he came suddenly, spilling against Jim's chest and neck, marking him again with his seed.

Jim moved his head to allow for some of Khan’s orgasm to hit his face, as well.  He shut his eyes to enjoy the splashes of warmth over his skin.  But the warmth was brighter inside, where he glowed from Khan’s words.  “Still yours.  Always yours.” He sighed at the way Khan marked him completely as his and his alone.  “Always will be.”

Once he expelled the last drop he could manage in this round, Khan placed his hands on Jim's chest, sliding his fingers through the slick to rub it over him with a little smile of his own. "Hmm-" Khan reluctantly forced himself to sit up on his knees and finally move off Jim's chest, laying half next to him, half over the length of his stretched out body. His eyes closed for a moment and Khan let his other senses take Jim in, pressing his nose to the skin of his neck. "Oh, yes ... this is very good." He said with a purr, then began to lick a little of the excess off the side of Jim's face. "You are saturated in my scent now, Jim ..." Khan said, arms curling around Jim, hugging him close. He knew that Jim would never fully understand this, but it made him smile to know that Jim wanted to stimulate as best as he could to experience it as well. "May I tell you Jim, what it does to me, to have you like this? It may sound foolish to your ears."

Jim turned his head to look at Khan with slitted eyes and said, “Please, I want to hear, Noonien.  What does it mean?  What does it do?”  He wondered if he could roll over and cuddle close to Khan, but that might break the rules.  He’d lost his grip on Khan’s body when his lover moved off him, but the way Khan had cuddled up to him made that less important.  “May I touch now?” he asked softly.

"Yes Jim, please." Khan encouraged, still nuzzling his neck and shoulder, leaving light kisses to his skin. His usually severe looking features were softened somewhat, as Khan experienced a different level of euphoria from having Jim like this. Though after a gentle bite to Jim's shoulder, Khan finally forced himself to say what he was thinking and feeling. "It makes me feel, in a primal, instinctive way, that you have been mine for many years now ... that you have been bound to me, from the beginning ... the effect is strong for me, Jim ... it confuses my brain in the most delightful way ... it makes me think you have shared my bed as my lover, all our lives ... I know that logically, this is not true ... but the effect is strong ..."

Jim rolled a little to meet Khan’s attentions and smiled when he saw how soft Khan’s expression was as he gazed at him.  “Bound to me from the beginning,” he murmured with a smile.  “I like that idea.  Just from being able to spread your scent on me?”  He lightly stroked the back of Khan’s head, tangling his fingers in the longish strands of his hair.  “I’d like to think it would have been that way between us, Noonien. That you would have wanted to have me like this had we met in some other life.  But I’m still always yours, Noonien.”  He laid his head next to Khan’s, eyes half-closing to peer at him through the slits.

"It is a mix, of how you respond to me, how well you know me ... my needs ... and also my scent upon your skin. It is delightful to me, Jim." Khan gave his limbs a slight stretch like a cat, then sighed as he leaned his head into the fingers against his hair and scalp. "Thank you Jim, for not being offended by my terminology, I know it is not common in modern language." He said, relaxing as his fingers caressed Jim along his collarbone. "My Jim ... you have always been mine."

“Offended?” Jim asked and shook his head.  “No, not even a little, Noonien.  I like the way you talk.  I like that I can make you happy.”  He scooted even closer to his lover and rested a leg over theirs.  “And I’ve always been yours.  Nobody else ever counted.”  With a little moan, he pressed his mouth to Noonien’s and kissed him softly.  And then a little deeper.  

The floor was cool and firm under his back, which for Khan was a nice relief. He moaned easily as Jim kissed him, letting his own head rest back on the floor as he sucked a bit on Jim's tongue, encouraging his show of affection. Lightly scraping his nails down Jim's sides, leaving only the faintest of scratch marks, Khan then flexed his fingers into Jim's firm ass, squeezing and kneading.

Jim moaned into the kiss as Khan’s hands began working over his ass and pressed back into them eagerly.  He was thinking about Khan’s promise of a reward for good behavior and hoped he’d earned it, though he wondered if there wasn’t more he needed to do before he was rewarded.  And he would give Khan anything he wanted, anything he needed, to make this last night together the best possible.  

With that in mind, he parted their lips and murmured, “I did like that, Noonien.  Even if it wasn’t easy to take all of you into my mouth.  You’re so amazingly big.  Would you like to do more things like that?  I want to give you whatever you want.”  He smoothed his hands up Khan’s sides and ducked his head to offer soft kisses to his cheeks and throat.  “Anything.”

"You were very good at it, Jim. You manage me extremely well." Khan said with a soft groan. "I find your mouth very exciting, Jim. Whether it is on my cock or on my lips." He said with a little grin before kissing him again. Though his fingers lightly grasped a handful of short hair at the back of Jim's head, holding him back from kissing for just a moment as Khan tilted his head back, neck exposed to him. "Do you think you could leave a mark on me, my love?"

Jim eyed the spot and said, “I’ll try, but you heal pretty damn fast.”  He hoped he understood the request properly as he edged forward and placed his mouth on the skin.  With a little growl, he sunk his teeth into the area and sucked as hard as he could, trying to draw up a significant love bite that might last more than a few minutes.  He felt his teeth break skin and winced a little, hoping Khan did not mind, even as the coppery taste of blood filled his mouth.  With a soft murmur of apology, he licked at the small wound to clean it up and then kissed it tenderly.  “Is that sufficient?” he asks, surveying his mark with a little bit of pride.  Before Khan could even answer, he began to suck on it again, enjoying the flavor of Khan on his tongue.

"Oh-" Khan moaned openly as Jim growled. The small of his back arched against the floor and his hands clenched into fists at his sides as Jim bit him. The sound he made was deeply erotic and uncensored, leaving the augment writhing back on the floor, even as Jim managed to break the skin. "Yes-" He managed with a gasp, his hips rolling, his body suddenly feeling quite hot all over. "Jim ..." the name vibrates out of his throat tightly, "yours."

Jim was surprised and delighted by how much Khan enjoyed the marking and surged up to kiss him with a possessiveness he seldom showed the other man.  “Mine,” he agreed between their mouths.  “Yours, too.”  He stroked over the mark he’d made and pressed down so that Khan could feel it again.  “Let me do it again,” he said, eager to elicit the same response.  “And you can leave the same kinds of marks on me?”

Gazing up into Jim's bright blue eyes, Khan nodded. "Yes-" Though his own eyes rolled back slightly into his head as he shuddered, gasping eagerly as Jim continued to mark him. Reaching down absently, Khan began to tug at his cock with one hand and drag his fingers over his chest with the other, trying to find some relief from the sharp heat that surged through his body with every intimate bite. "Yes ... Jim ..."

Jim noted how excited his actions got Khan and eagerly continued all the way down his body, biting at random intervals and varying pressures.  He made a nice series of marks all over his torso and then paused to watch him stroke himself almost desperately with one hand.  With a deeply needy noise of his own, he dove in to take all of Khan’s cock back into his mouth.  Now on top, he could more easily manage the substantial girth, if only because he could control the rate of which he swallowed him down and when he pulled back for a breath.  But he soon bobbed eagerly over Khan’s cock, sucking as hard and passionately as he could at the large organ.  He wanted one more burst of Khan’s seed to mark him, this time all over his face.

"Jim-" All the little bite marks over his body felt extra hot to Khan, sharp and electrifying, causing Khan to writhe back on the floor again. His back arched, but his hips remained planted as Jim took him into his lavish mouth. Instantly, Khan pressed his fingers to Jim's head, twisting and grasping at his hair. The sensation was overpowering, to be soothed by Jim's mouth, after having already orgasmed twice. Khan hissed and growled, producing sweetly wild noises instead of actual words.

The fingers of his free hand began to press into his own body, searching out all the little marks Jim had made upon him, where he proceeded to scratch and dig in his nails a little deeper. He wanted the marks to last. He would make them last. So by the time Khan touched the mark on his neck, his entire body was on edge. Fingers lightly closing around the base of his own throat, Khan groaned and cried out to Jim, coming hard.

Jim pulled back enough to let Khan’s release spray all over his face and neck, shutting his eyes to make sure none got into them, but otherwise makes sure that he got covered thoroughly with his lover’s seed.  He hummed contentedly at being even more thickly coated with Khan’s claim and smiled up at his lover, excess dripping from his skin and on to Khan’s abdomen.  “You seem to like being marked,” he said, noting that Khan had made most of the marks even darker and longer lasting.  “I do, too.”

Khan sighed deeply, still coming down from the sensation of this last orgasm. After three in a row, it took him a little more time to recover. "Yes, Jim." Khan said, licking his lips. His hand cupped the side of Jim's face, which he thumbed over, smearing some of the slick over the side of his face. His eyes were blown wide and intense as he stared at Jim. He had shown reserve before, not coming against Jim's face, in fear that Jim would not like it, that he would consider it degrading. But it was clear now, it was not something that humiliated him at all. He seemed to quite like it. They both did. "I look good on you." He said with a little grin, sitting up, still holding Jim by the side of the face so that he could kiss him on the mouth.

Jim leaned into his lover and kissed back passionately, moaning happily into their shared mouths.  He hauled himself into Khan’s lap and pressed his own, long-standing, erection into the powerful muscles of his abdomen.  With a playful growl, he bit into his lower lip and tugged back.  “You do look good on me.  I like the way I look on you, too.”  He rutted a few times against him, asking without words if Khan might touch or if he was still to wait for his own pleasure.  “Are you at all sensitive right now?” he asked softly.  “You have already come three times.”  He was well aware of the soft cock currently present under his ass.

"Yes ... extremely ... sensitive." Khan said with a lingering shiver up his spine. Wrapping his arms around Jim, encouraging him to remain on his lap, Khan pressed his hands to the small of his back, fingers lightly playing over the subtle ridge of his spine. "Do you think you could come, my love? Riding my lap, even though I am not yet hard again for you? I would like that, Jim ... I want to feel you come against my chest ... I want to feel you squirm and writhe against me." It would help Khan grow hard again so that he could make love to Jim in the way they both needed tonight.

“Oh, I can do that,” Jim said and draped his arms comfortably over Khan’s shoulders.  “If you don’t mind me using you for leverage.”  He rubbed slowly against the washboard of Khan’s abdomen, teasing himself with the feel of his length scraping against the powerful muscles.  “I might need a little vocal encouragement,” he added, mischief in his eyes.  “Do I look sexy bouncing up and down in your lap, Noonien?  Getting myself off with nothing more than being close to you, rutting against your skin?  I’m so hard already from being marked and claimed and teased.  You did like making me wait, didn’t you?  Making me suffer a little for you.”  He whined deep in his throat as how own words, coupled with his actions, drove up his pleasure.

"Yes." Khan purred, seemingly agreeing to everything Jim had said. For a moment, he pressed his nose in close to the small, soft spot just under Jim's ear, breathing him in. "You were very well behaved for me, my love. I did enjoy making you wait, seeing the desire build in your eyes and in your body, craving an outlet. And now my love, you may surrender, you may let yourself go, I will give you what you need, my Jim." Khan gave a slow lick to his neck, dragging his lips a little before he continued, keeping his voice in a soft whisper, "My Jim. My beautiful Jim. My beloved husband." Khan pressed his fingers into Jim's backside, helping him grind down against his limp cock, a tease for the both of them. "I love your human body. So eager. In such need to be filled." Khan purred again, hands easing his ass cheeks apart so that one long middle finger could tease and play with his hole.

“Oh yes!” Jim cried and angled his hips to try and get that finger inside of his body, instead of just teasing.  He rutted even more against his lover, working his cock harder against Khan’s abdomen to try and encourage orgasm.  But even with the long teasing and his desire, he needed a little more to throw him over into orgasm.  “Noonien!  Please.  Tell me to come.  I need to hear you, my husband.  Order me.  I want you to!  Pleasepleaseplease.” He let his head fall forward to press his forehead into the strong shoulder in front of him, hands clamping down more firmly around his lover.

Even though Khan knew very well what Jim wanted, the augment continued to tease his hole, only allowing the pad of his finger to breach him, firmly rubbing the outside of the sensitive muscle. "Good, my love." Khan said as Jim squirmed on his lap for more. Locking his arm around his middle, Khan thrust up, rubbing and grinding with him. "Ah, Jim ..." He praised, kissing the side of his face. "I want you to come for me, Jim." He said at first, then gave a quick nip to his skin before his tone changed to something darker. "Now. Jim. I order you."

Jim tossed his head back and cried out loudly to the ceiling as he spilled on command between them, the amount and length of his release speaking to how long he’d been teased.  His voice choked on a few long cries, a touch of pain in his pleasure.  His entire body shuddered with the force of his orgasm, and he pressed hard into the firm hold of his lover, trusting Khan to take care of him throughout.  When he finally tailed off, satiated and wiped out for the moment, he slumped forward against Khan, arms sliding to keep a hold on his lover.  “Noonien,” he murmured into his ear.  “My husband.”

"I have you." Khan said gently, rocking Jim in his arms, holding him close. The slick of his orgasm lay against his abs, sticky and hot, and exactly what Khan had wanted from his lover. After a moment, Khan stilled, both hands pressed against Jim's lower back, just holding and supporting his weight. "I have you." He repeated again, enjoying the feeling of just being able to keep Jim in his arms. It was a much needed embrace for both men, a hug goodbye, in a way, even though they still had some time left this evening together. It was a strong gesture, both lovers with their arms around the other, hearts pressed as close as possible through their chests, united.

Jim sighed and stroked through Khan’s soft hair with his lazy fingers, humming under his breath in contentment.  “I love you so much,” he said.  “You’re so good to me.”  He tightened his arms and tucked himself even closer to his lover, not minding the mess between them.  They were in their final hours for sure now, and this was exactly how he’d wanted to spend them, as close as possible to his lover both physically and emotionally.  He felt warm and safe within the circle of his lover’s augmented arms and in his estimation.  “I don’t suppose,” he said half-drowsily, “you have a ring I could wear.”

Cradling Jim by the back of the head, Khan pulled back a little so that he could look his lover in the eyes. "I may have something." He admitted, letting his hand move to cup the side of his face, keeping Jim steady as they kissed. "I ..." Khan frowned and smiled a little all at once. "Does the idea appeal to you?" He asked, at it had crossed his mind, but since their union was non traditional, unobserved by others, and certainly not considered legally binding, he was uncertain about how Jim felt about the idea of such old fashioned symbols.  

“Yes,” Jim said.  “Traditions can be nice, and I want something to let everyone know I’m taken.  And a reminder of how much we love each other.”  He shrugged, refusing to be ashamed about his sentimentality.  He was going to have to leave Khan behind, at least for years and possibly forever.  He wanted some tangible symbol of what they meant to each other, of the words they’d spoken.  “It won’t make things less lonely for either of us, I guess, but it will remind me of how real it all is.”

"Yes, my love." Khan pressed their cheeks together and sighed, eyes lightly closing. He gave Jim one more long, lingering hug before his arms started to fall away. "Come to my room, then. We can remain in one another's embrace in my bed, in comfort." There, he would also show Jim what he had to offer by way of rings, and hoped that it was acceptable.

Jim pouted a moment, but then climbed slowly off of Khan’s lap.  He’s covered all over with the drying and dried remains of Khan’s orgasms, and moving reminds him of that in a way a little more disgusting than he’d noticed before.  Still, he asked for the evidence of Khan’s possessive nature and can’t complain about the result.  He felt the rather contented mess, even as he looked around his lover’s new room with approval.  Without a word, he headed for the bed and spread himself out over it, a banquet for Khan’s gaze.

With quiet care, Khan filled a small basin of warm water and set it on the bedside table, where a cloth and several small bottles of oils were already arranged in a row, laying in wait. "A treat for you, in a moment." He assured, before he turned and opened a dresser drawer. Everything in the room was either made of stone, or wood, or newly formed metals, it gave everything an earthy, but modern and sleek feel to it. "This is antique Earth gold, reformed and designed with platinum from the Enterprise, which your Engineer donated, upon my request." In a way, it made the rings a mix of both men, an old Earth relic, and the best of Starfleet. Opening up a box Khan had clearly prepared ahead of time, Khan offered his gift for Jim's approval, hoping that the simple gold bands were enough.

“These are beautiful,” Jim said and picked one up, delighted obviously by the design and the thoughtfulness.  “You really do think of everything.”  He slipped it on his ring finger, left hand and admired the fit.  “Earth and the Enterprise,” he murmured.  “You and me.”  He turned to pull Khan into a tender kiss, this one all about love and not lust.  “Thank you, Noonien.  This is exactly what I wanted...what I want to wear always.”

Khan swallowed hard, eyes downcast, but remaining on Jim's left hand and the ring now there. "I hope that with this ring, you are able to carry me with you, no matter how far, how lost in the universe you get." Sitting on the edge of the bed, Khan slipped the second ring onto his own finger. "Just as I want you to know, with this ring, I will be able to keep you here with me, close to me, always."

“I know, Noonien,” Jim said and caught Khan’s left hand in his own, lifting it to kiss the finger wearing the ring tenderly, “and I will take you everywhere I go, as you say.”  He threaded their fingers together and said, “I’ll call you every chance I get, so long as we’re in range.  So, you better use that amazing brain to boost the signal to the maximum you can.”  He smiled with a touch of sadness at the edges, before leaning in for another kiss, this one to Khan’s mouth.  “You have plans?” he asked, with a glance at the oils.

Khan agreed with a simple nod. He had every intention of keeping in contact with Jim, for as long as they were able. Even if that meant sending transmissions that were pre-recorded, so that they could be relayed the extra few days, or extra few months of delay it took to reach Jim that deep into space. "Yes, my love." Khan said, kissing Jim on the corner of his mouth before reaching for one of the oils, opening it and letting half the contents spill into the basin of warm water. "Lay back on the bed, I want you to relax." He said, dipping a small cloth into the water, then began to wring it out, the air already filling with the slightly spicy, exotic scent.

Jim lifted his head and deeply inhaled the pleasing scent, before asking, “Do you want me on my stomach or my back?  Or will either do, my Noonien?”  He arranged himself on the bed, most decoratively, and smiled up at his lover, willing to move however his lover might wish.  His body relaxed into the duvet, eyes falling half-shut in relaxation and desire.  “Whatever you want, my husband.”

"On your back, for now." Khan smiled, pressing one hand gently to his shoulder to keep him settled. "I may ask you to turn, at a later time." He added, then reached forward with the cloth and began to wipe the dried crust of cum off Jim's face and neck, taking his time not to rub or irritate the skin, but wipe it gently clean with the oil and water mixture. Once the skin was clean, exposed to the open air, it dried in such a way to leave Jim feeling smooth and clean, without having to bathe again. With attention to detail, Khan wiped Jim's skin, leaving it refreshed, which Khan touched with his free hand, just sliding it over his body.

Jim hummed in relaxation as Khan began to systematically and soothingly clean his body.  He arched quite happily into the attentions and smiled drowsily up at his lover, as the attentions made his entire body’s tension leaked out with each swipe.  His eyes fluttered as the skin tingled where Khan’s hand swept over the newly clean skin, erotic pleasure entering into the mix.  “That’s lovely, Noonien.  What’s in the oils?  They feel nice and smell even better.”

"This one-" Khan said, implying the one he was currently using on Jim to hand wash him, "is a milky nectar from a night-blooming flower, we have taken to call the Moon-Flower. Highly concentrated it can make the skin feel somewhat numb, but watered down, it is quite soothing, don't you think? It does quite well to clear away dead skin cells ... we are still developing ways to form it into a soap." Khan continued to wash Jim, down his chest and sides, even taking time with each arm, which he held and guided by the wrist, only to kiss the fingertips.

“Noonien,” Jim murmured and curved his fingers into the kisses, brushing them tenderly over his lips.  “It’s lovely.  It feels awesome on my body.  I’m tingly all over.  Or maybe that’s just my response to you.”  He smiled up at his lover and stretched his legs wide and inviting to allow Khan to clean more of his skin, as well as demonstrating his openness to his lover’s attentions, whatever they may be.  “I like it either way...I always want your hands on me.”

Amused that Jim still felt the need to still try to flirt with him, when Khan had already been won over just made him smile. With one more kiss to his fingers, Khan gently set his arm down and continued to wash Jim again. Starting up over the rise of his hip, then down the length of his leg, before he returned the cloth to the basin to re-soak it, rinse, then continue from Jim's ankles, up the inside of his leg, to his thighs, which had already seen a lot of action, before gently washing just under his scrotum. But this time, instead of trailing his hand over the newly washed skin, Khan bowed his head down and gave a soft kiss to the base of Jim's cock, smiling up at him, before he did it again.

Jim enjoyed flirting, which he found as natural as breathing, even though he didn’t really need to with Khan any longer.  It was fun, especially since Khan still responded to it positively.  He moaned softly as Khan kissed him intimately in his most private places.  A shiver ran up his spine from head-to-toe, and his cock definitely twitched a bit with interest.  “Please, Noonien,” he crooned softly, “touch some more.”  He reached out to caress Khan’s hair, stroking through the soft strands.

Sliding into bed, Khan stretched out on his side to face his lover. Though just as requested, Khan continued to touch Jim, letting his hands freely wander over his body. Quietly, Khan let his hands outline Jim's bone structure, over his ribs and down his side, or up his front and across his chest. "Turn, and I will continue with your back." He suggested, pressing his lips to Jim's shoulder for another light kiss.

Jim turned his head to catch Khan’s cheeks and ear and hair with some kisses of his own, before turning over to expose his back and ass to his lover.  “Here you are, Noonien.  All for your pleasure...and mine.”  He stretched out his back in an inviting arch for Noonien’s enjoyment.  

"Beautiful, my love." Khan said softly, pressing his mouth to Jim's shoulder as one hand slowly moved down the length of his back, fingers carefully digging in to the tight muscle around his spine. And though he did not want to say it out loud, Khan knew he would missed how Jim's body fit against his own, or how the two of them could be a comfortable mess of arms and legs. But speaking to all the things he would miss about Jim was a slippery, never-ending slope that would make it difficult to enjoy the remainder of their time. So instead, Khan just purred, enjoying all of Jim while his husband was still in his arms.

Jim groaned at the fingers that eased the tension of his middle back and melted a little more into the bed.  “Oh fuck, Noonien, that’s amazing.  You always know just how to touch me to make me feel good.”  He settled his head on his arms and turned to face Khan, smiling at him contentedly.  “Come here and kiss me.”  He made it a part demand and part sultry whine.

"Yes, Jim." Khan said, not minding the demand in Jim's voice, as he even smiled a little before offering his lips to his lover, kissing him slow, but deeply. Meanwhile his hand continued down Jim's back, fingers working over the lines of muscle along his lower back, before he began to palm over each ass cheek, massaging each in turn. Shifting in bed, Khan lightly hooked one leg over the back of Jim's outstretched legs, letting their feet brush as he cuddled Jim from the side.

Jim moaned even louder into Khan’s mouth, even as he shifted closer to the augment, pressing against his strength.  When their lips parted, he whispered, “Hello, my husband.  I think very much I should like you to take me from this position.  It’s very intimate and comfortable.”  He nuzzled into Khan’s chin and cheek, before biting at his ear, which was just close enough to reach with his teeth.  He tugged gently at the lobe, growling under his breath like a puppy might in play.

Tilting his head to the side, Khan look to Jim with peculiar affection. He understood this sense of play. As he understand the intimacy of making love like this. But he was also surprised, believing that Jim would only want to be taken face on. Not wanting to disappoint Jim during their final evening together, Khan made sure to take extra care with Jim like this. Groaning, Khan gave Jim a nip to the side of the face, treating him as if he were indeed a puppy that needed to be put gently back in line.

"My Jim-" Khan groaned his name as he pulled himself up onto all fours, only to play himself out over Jim's outstretched body like a blanket. For now, Khan kept his arms drawn in, hands on Jim's shoulders, still touching and pressing as he kissed the back of his head. "My love ..." He added, nuzzling the back of his head, letting his nose get lost in the short blond hair before he kissed the back of his neck.

Jim wiggled a little with delight until the press of Khan’s body stilled him a little.  He pushed up into that looming body, enjoying the strength and warmth of it over him.  “My Noonien.”  Being with Khan like this, being with Khan in any way felt natural to him now.  Felt right in a way no other bed partner ever had or ever would, he reckoned.  Out of all the beings in all of the universes in all of space, Khan was the one person for him.  

He felt quietly humble for that.

“Here I am, Noonien, spread out under you and happy to be here,” he responded, pressing up to encourage his lover’s attentions to his nape.  “Mark me there, too?  A nice, lingering bite?”

"May I, Jim?" Khan asked, letting his lips drag over a particular spot. His tone suggested that he had been thinking about it before, and probably would have asked Jim for permission, had he not offered first. "I would like to, very much ... my husband, my mate." It was a strange sort of term, yes, but it carried great weight, as it truly meant Khan had committed himself to Jim Kirk, and no other. "This is the spot, Jim." He said, making the area moist with his lips, sucking briefly, then kissing the skin again. "I will want to bite you here, as we make love." He said, then gave a few gentle bites to the back of his neck in other areas.

“Yessss,” Jim hissed and clenched on the bedclothes under his hands, twisting them into a knot.  “I want to feel your teeth in my nape and your cock in my ass, claiming me equally at the same time.  I want something I can feel at both ends, and a mark I can see for a long time.”  He tried not to be too demanding with his body language, but it was obvious how much he longed for exactly what Khan described.  “You are my mate, Noonien.  We’re perfect for each other.  They’ll be nobody else for me.”

Feeling Jim squirm under him, needy and wanting, made Khan whimper sweetly. They both wanted, and needed this intimate and lasting connection. With a groan, Khan forced himself to reach forward, towards the bedside table to retrieve a second bottle of oil. Once he had it in hand, Khan sat back, between Jim's parted thighs and began to pour a liberal amount out of the small container, letting it spill down between Jim's cheeks, where Khan then began to massage the oil into his skin, smoothing it across the cleft of his ass, then around the edge of his hole, taking the time to ease him open, wanting him to be relaxed and comfortable.

Jim made a soft noise of pleasure and deliberately fluttered the ring of muscle under Khan’s fingers to entice him further.  The oil warmed quickly, some leaking down to the bed through his parted legs and making a small puddle.  But that hardly mattered, since Jim was determined to thoroughly wreck the bed before they were finished.  In fact, if there was a shred of covers left or the mattress was not severely flattened, he would consider it a work only half done.  He twisted the covers underneath his hands something fierce in an effort to start the process going.  “Go on, Noonien, I can take more.  I want more.  I want all of you.”

"I know you can-" Khan smiled to himself, which left a pleasant low hum to his voice. "You are very good, Jim. You have proven yourself capable, time and time again." With the oil doing most of the work, Khan managed to slip in two fingers with ease, spreading him open, until he was well past the second knuckle. Fingering him like this, Khan massaged the delicate inner walls of muscle and groaned. "You have such heat to your body, Jim. I cannot wait until I am deep inside, and engulfed by you."

“Oh, that feels amazing, my Noonien, and it will feel even more amazing when you are that deep in my body,” Jim murmurs and shuts his eyes, pressing into the strong fingers.  “I want everything you can give me, Noonien.  Take my heat.  Claim me.  Please.  I’m ready!”  He breathed out a harsh groan and then undulated sensually against his lover’s fingers, so deep inside him.  “I want you so much, my Noonien.”

It really did things to Khan to hear this sort of dirty talk from Jim. His cock was hard and ready for more, and his heart jumped eagerly, causing a soft flush to spread over his otherwise pale skin. "Jim-" Khan groaned his name, fingers straining to pleasure his lover like this, but soon it wasn't enough. They both wanted more, so there was no sense in holding back. Letting his fingers slip out, Khan hooked both sets of thumbs under the curve of Jim's ass, separating his cheeks and marvelling at the sight of him, "... delicious ..." he said with a lick of his lips, tempted to make him writhe and continue to groan his name, just by eating him out. But right now they were both craving a stronger union then just lust. So Khan slid his hands up, grasping his ass to keep him parted while he let the head of his erection press against his entrance. "My Jim ... need you-" He said, pushing in past the remaining resistance, sliding in easily with a deep, drawn out sigh. "Beautiful, my love." Khan said as he settled in, now sliding his hands up the curve of his back, briefly settling on his shoulders while Khan lowered himself down, pressing their entire bodies together, seeking skin contact from head to toe. "Husband." He added, reaching around the front of his chest with one arm, hugging him from behind as he rolled his hips, slowly getting lost in the depths of his lover's body.

Khan’s exposure of his ass to his eager eyes made Jim moan even louder and feel quite dirty and hot.  And he full body shivered and gave Khan his best moan of approval when he heard his lover call him ‘delicious.’  “Only for you,” he promised.  “Just yours, my loving Noonien.”  

And was rewarded when Khan entered his body with his full cock, piercing and claiming and making Jim feel both full and connected.  His head lolled back on his shoulders as Khan pressed against him all the way and joined them together as much as was fully possible.  “Oh, yes, please, Noonien.  My Noonien.”  He presses into the rolling hips, trying to meet each one of his lover’s thrusts.  

Jim threw himself into the coupling and tried to give everything to his husband.  He barely hear his own raising voice, the noises that bounce off the walls as they grow.  “Bite me.  Please.  I want you, my Noonien.  So much.”

The warmth of his flesh was intoxicating to Khan, who began to rut into his lover, enjoying how his body both resisted, and gave in to him. "My husband." He said softly, nuzzling the back of his ear. Though soon he was licking his lips, eyes fixating on the perfect expanse of soft skin he wanted to sink his teeth into. It was a strange balance perhaps, that while so much of him was engineered, designed and controlled, this part of him was entirely primal and wild. "Jim-" Groaning his name easily evolved into a low growl. And while he meant to say more, to offer Jim loving words of comfort, Khan felt them all melt away in his brain. His mind was purged of all other thoughts, other then to take Jim, take his husband, his mate, bite him, claim him ... Closing his mouth around the spot on Jim's nape, Khan groaned, pressing his tongue to the area before his teeth began to dig in, bruising his skin with the bite. Heart hammering in his own chest, blood pulsing through his veins, even throbbing in his own head which deafened him to anything else other then Jim. With his mouth closed against this spot, Khan made love to his husband, arms securely around him, maintaining a strong union.

Jim cried out as Khan bit down into his nape, body shivering with both submission and pleasure.  He acquiesced completely to his lover’s dominance, enjoying the primal way he was being claimed by the augment.  There was something unbearably delicious about Khan when he surrendered to his own instincts and took Jim the way he wanted to.  His hips pounded hard into Jim’s ass, but with a force moderated just enough not to ever truly hurt. And it drove Jim to push back as much as he could in his position, demonstrating to Khan how much he loved the attentions.  He whined in his own lizard brain response to the intense claiming of his body by the stronger man, but it was a good noise, one of deep acceptance and satisfaction.  His hands tightened into the bedclothes, and this time, the fabric gave under the strain and ripped.

Glancing up as he heard the fabric tear, Khan grinned against the hold he had on Jim. Pulling his mouth off for a moment, Khan panted against the side of his neck, "... beautiful, Jim ..." He kissed the back of his jaw with a little smile to his tone, "love the sounds you make for me-" At first, his kisses were light against Jim's hot skin, but then he began to drag his tongue over the length of his neck, firmly kissing and sucking at the vulnerable muscle. "Oh Jim ..." H gasped suddenly, fingers digging in briefly before they relaxed again, keeping flat against his arms and chest. "I could fill you with my seed already ... my Jim."  He growled, "Tell me you want it."

“Yes! Please!  And then you can do it again, Noonien,” Jim said and deliberately squeezed down as much as he can on the part of Khan so deep inside him.  “Don’t hold back anything on me, love.  I want you to take your fill.  Please.  I can take it.  I want to.”  He twisted his neck to press kisses along Khan’s skin, anywhere he can reach by contorting to the full extent of his flexibility.  “Make me full of you, until I can’t hold anymore.  Until I’m dripping all over from you.”

Rewarding his lover for always being so willing to take what Khan had to offer, for enthusiastically rising to meet every challenge, every high standard, Khan kissed Jim soundly on the mouth. "Yes ... Jim ..." Khan groaned, consumed by the perfect depths of Jim's body with every pounding thrust, that then came to an abrupt stop. As his entire body froze up, Khan cried out against the back of Jim's head, spilling into his husband over and over, until he left a hot pool of his seed inside his husband's gorgeous body.

It took Khan some time to recover from this, as his arms and shoulders gave a slight tremble as the augment forced air back into his powerful lungs. "My husband-" he purred at last, kissing the back of his head and neck, "you satisfy every part of me." It was true, and not just in the obvious ways either. "Oh Jim ..." Khan continued to roll his hips, forcing himself to work through how sensitive his nerves were right now. But slick and full of his cum made Jim all that much more sweet to make love to. Sliding one hand under Jim's stomach, Khan pressed his hand against the heated skin, able to feel how full Jim was with his seed and cock, even from the outside. Khan would have put a baby there, if he could have. But such things were not possible. And perhaps unwise, even if it were.

"My love." Khan said quietly, holding Jim from behind, pressed close to his body as he gave him a nice, slow fuck.

“My Noonien,” Jim moaned, low and throaty, as he was taken in this mixture of gentle and wild.  He felt the hand on his stomach and wondered if Khan was thinking about all of the things Jim couldn’t give him in the scheme of life.  He wouldn’t hold it against his lover if he wanted to try for children, not that he thought he could tell Khan that.  The augment might not understand that kind of offer or think Jim was trying to push him away.  And that was the furthest thing from his mind, especially with his lover wiping the memory of any other lovers from his mind.  In the moment, there was nobody except Khan, the rest of the universe falling away.

His own pleasure was a heady, dizzying thing, washing over his body in waves that he can barely ride out.  But he greedily wanted more, unwilling for the encounter to end.  And so, he continued to put everything he could into their coupling, even as he could feel himself growing a bit tired.  “So good, Noonien!” he cried, throwing his head back and shivering all over.  “Can’t hold out much longer.  Please.”

"Yes, Jim." Khan murmured against his neck, nuzzling and nearly drunk on his scent. "I have you, my love." He said, the one hand remaining on his stomach, while the other pressed to the center of his chest, feeling the strength of his human heart beat. It made Khan smile, but also cry a little, not that he would let Jim see the silent tears escape out of the corner of his eye. Instead, Khan just pressed his face into Jim's neck, kissing and lick. "I have you." He repeated softly, but was unrelenting as he made love to Jim. He would be tired and sore after their encounter, but it would leave a sort of muscle memory of their coupling, something so good, even the faintest trigger would help either lover relive the experience in memory.

Khan groaned deeply though, unable to help himself as he clung to Jim, fingers digging in slightly to his skin. "Yes- so good Jim ..." He growled, powering through the heat of both their bodies. Khan was giving in to the need to claim Jim one last time, to pour himself into his lover, to lose himself in his body, and maybe, somehow, get lost there, stay there. "I have you." He said once more, feeling how tight and tense Jim's body was to be pushed to the edge like this. Though his ass was still wonderfully wet, slick with oil and semen. "Husband-" Khan whimpered, throat closing on him as he held Jim tightly, coming messily in him once more, spilling into him with sharp thrusts, giving Jim everything he had left.

Jim could not hold out again and came all over himself, well before Khan finished.  He relaxed under Khan and still accepted his thrusts eagerly, moaning hoarsely in pleasure.  “Yes, you’ve got me.  I’m yours, Noonien, all yours.”  He groaned under his husband’s weight, content to be there for as long as they had together.  His head fell to the bed to rest, eyes closing in pure relaxation.  And when they both lay entwined, spent, he sought out Khan’s hands to twine with his own.  “I’ve never been so worn out.  And so happy to be so.”

As their fingers interlocked, Khan kept himself pressed against Jim's backside, holding him tightly. "I love you, Jim." He said, kissing the back of his neck. "May I hold you like this for a while longer?" He asked, feeling his heart still hammering in his chest, but already beginning to settle the longer Jim remained in his arms. "It makes me very happy to hold you close." He said, his voice going to a whisper as he kissed Jim on the side of the jaw.

“And I love you, my Noonien,” Jim said and hummed at the kiss to his neck.  “Please do keep holding me.  I want your attentions for as long as you can give them.  And this is very comfortable, being under you.  Besides, you wore me out-” he yawned in demonstration “-and I don’t know if I can move anyway.”  He turned his head to kiss at his face, asking in that way for a more intimate joining of their mouths, much as their bodies will still joined below.  “In a little while, may we not bathe together again?”

"Yes, Jim. Anything you want." Khan said, kissing Jim again. The corners of his mouth pulled into a handsome little smile. With a subtle squeeze of their hands, Khan continued to kiss his husband, slow and thoughtful. Soft moans dissolved into a low hum, and then a quiet, wordless song, soothing and pretty. "My Jim." Khan said at last, nuzzling their faces together. He had offset half of his weight so that he was not crushing Jim under him directly, but laid over him in such a way that made looking face to face a little easier.

Jim breathed a little heavily as their mouths finally parted and smiled up at Khan, saying, “Anything you want, too, Noonien.  Together.”  He pressed his cheek against Khan’s and hummed his own quiet song to him, even though it wasn’t as pretty or melodic as his lover’s.  Still, he means well and hopes Khan will enjoy it despite his lack of musical ability.  “You didn’t have to move.  Your weight is rather comforting.”

"I want to take advantage at being able to still look at you." Khan said, releasing one of their hands in order to touch Jim on the side of the face. "I would sleep with you in my arms like this, once more, but we do not have the time." He said, letting their noses brush as he pressed their faces together lightly. "I liked your song, Jim." He said, encouraging, "Does it mean you are happy?" He asked, hoping, that despite their imminent parting, that Jim could indeed find joy in these final moments together, that he could be content and satisfied in such a way that would last him in memory for a long time.

“I am happy, here with you,” Jim said softly and reached up to stroke his cheek, before rubbing his own against it.  “I’ll always be happy, so long as I can think of you and know you love me.  As long as I can refer to you as my husband.  Can I do that, Noonien?”  

"Yes, Jim." Khan said, letting his eyes drop, humbled by these words. "Please do." Thumbing over Jim's ring finger, Khan pressed their lips for another light kiss. "I shall always be, your loving Noonien. I am your husband, as you are mine." Khan settled his head on Jim's shoulder, quietly holding him for a time. The love and happiness Khan felt while with Jim Kirk was different then the sort of love and happiness the augment felt when he was with his people. It would be difficult for him, even on the good days, to feel entirely whole. But that was the effect Jim had on him, and Khan would mourn the loss of their union, not just of their bodies, but of their lives.

Jim could almost feel Khan’s sense of loss and asked, “Will you let me turn over, my husband?  I want to look into your eyes.”  He shifted under his, trying to roll over, although he still wanted to be beneath Khan and in his arms.  “Please.”  He made his voice as appealing as possible, entreaty deep.  He wanted to hold Khan in his arms in turn, offering whatever comfort he might in their last few hours.

"Yes, my love." Khan said, pushing himself up, arms locked on either side of Jim as he allowed for a small gap between their bodies. He was careful however, not wishing to leave Jim too sore as he finally slipped out completely and shifted to lay on the bedside his lover and husband. His intense blue eyes remained on Jim though, unblinking as his thumb caressed his jaw and he gently touched the bites and bruises to the side of his neck and shoulder.

Jim made a low moan of regret, mingled with a bit of discomfort, as their physical connection broke, but rolled immediately after him.  He pressed into his arms and then looked into those intense eyes, his own shining with all the feelings he’d never been very good at saying.  The hand on his body was a comfort and a reminder of all they’d shared.  “I’ll let them all heal in their own good time,” he said.  “Might even hope some of them scar a bit.”  He traced Khan’s unblemished skin along his shoulder.  “Sometimes I wish you could keep some kind of physical reminder.”  He sighed and kissed Khan’s mouth.  “Have to trust your mind to remember everything clearly.”

Secretly Khan hoped that the bite to Jim's shoulder would heal into a discreet scar, though did not admit to wanting this, as he felt it was perhaps too possessive of him. So it was rather pleasing to hear Jim confess how he would let the wounds of their lovemaking heal at their own rate, and perhaps allow some of them to scar naturally, rather then be fixed or erased by modern medical science. "I will hold you in my perfect memory, husband." Khan assured, "And the ring is a physical reminder, is it not?" He said, pressing a few light kisses along Jim's jaw and lips. His fingertips began to trace down the lines of Jim's body, wanting to touch him and keep him close. "Would you like to leave a permanent mark on me, my husband? Where?" He asked finally, keeping his tone low and private, not that there was anyone else to overhear them.

Jim caught that teasing mouth for a longer kiss, both the words and the touches too much for him to ignore any longer.  He whimpered softly at the prolonged kiss, before parting only to catch his breath again.  “I would.  Is there some place on you that is soft enough to allow my mark?”  He reached between them to thumb over the soft skin on one of Khan’s thighs.

At the touch, Khan shifted closer to Jim, head bowed as he gently nuzzled their faces together. It was strangely submissive of him, even more so now then in that pool when Khan had briefly, willingly, been on the bottom. But the idea was wild and exciting to Khan, as he softly gasped against Jim's lips. "We could try-" He said, slowly meeting Jim's gaze, confident in his tone, but hesitant in his actions before he added, "if needed, you may use a knife." He said, knowing that Jim may be instantly repulsed by the idea, but the offer was there, as was Khan's trust and love for his husband.

Jim shook his head at the idea of cutting Khan, thinking there had been too much violence between them before.  “I don’t think I could do that, Noonien.  I wouldn’t like it.”  He knew some people enjoyed a bit of pain and blood with their love-making, but he had enough of that in his life before not to want to voluntarily participate in it.  He glanced at the thin film of skin his fingers still traced.  “I might be able to?”

"I understand." Khan said with a little smile, kissing Jim again and again, wanting to reassure him. No, there was no longer violence between them, they were safe with one another. "My love ..." Khan sucked gently on Jim's lower lip, "Is that where you would like to mark me?" He asked, shifting his thighs to part slightly. "Let us bathe again, wash and relax the muscles in the hot water ... it will make my skin softer ... easier for you to leave your mark, my love."

“Yes, I’d like that,” Jim said.  “All of that.  The warm water sounds good, too.  As fun as that was...I am a little sore.  You’re so strong.”  He smiled openly at his lover, showing that he didn’t mind at all.  The experience was more than worth the aches and twinges Jim knew he’d be suffering for awhile after.  He had been claimed by Khan for good and all.  “Where shall we take this second bath?” he asked, wondering if there was a less fancy tub for the more prosaic act of merely washing up.

"You did not like the hot springs?" Khan tilted his head, curious. "The only other water source is outside, up the hill a little further. It may be too chilly to enjoy this time of night, but the choice is yours, Jim." Khan just wanted Jim to be happy. His hands continued to move over Jim's body, palming over the frame of his body, and the warmth of muscle and skin underneath. He wanted to massage Jim's pains, but would wait until they were both settled in the water where once his muscle unclenched, he could remain relaxed, instead of forced to move right away again.

“Oh, no, I did.  I do like the hot springs.  I didn’t realize it was your primary bathing source.  Lucky you,” Jim said and arched into those busy hands.  “That hot springs alone will bring me back to you,” he teased, trying to let his happiness in their love outshine the darkness of parting.  He wrapped his own hands around Khan’s shoulders to pull himself into a kiss.  “Now?”

"Yes, the hot springs and the Kirk-safe foods. Whatever it takes." Khan delivered with dry humour, but kissed Jim nevertheless. With a nod, Khan helped pull Jim out of bed with him, though did not force his lover to stand on his own legs for more then a second before Khan drew him up into his arms to carry him back to the indoor hot spring bathing area. With steady legs and a confident hold on his husband, Khan walked them right into the shallow end of the pooled hot water, further until the water was up to his hips and Jim could easily float in his arms. "Good?"

Jim laughed a little at how easily Khan could haul him around and relaxed into his arms and the water.  “Very good.”  The water eased some of the aches instantly, as well as washing away some of the rather copious mess he and Khan had made of him.  He stretched languidly in Khan’s arms with a little sigh of appreciation.  “Are you going to take care of me now, Noonien?” he asked, eyes lowered to his lover.  He wouldn’t mind that idea at all, considering how achey and tuckered out he is at the moment.  

"Yes, Jim." Khan said as he sat on the underwater stone shelf which allowed him to sink down in the water, letting the hot water cover him entirely up to his shoulders. But keeping Jim half floating in his arms, half on his lap, Khan began to press the fleshy part of his wrist and thumb over Jim's chest, washing and massaging him as the heat of the water did its job to help relax their muscles and wash their skin.

“Noonien,” Jim said and relaxed every muscle of his body into his husband’s capable hands.  His muscles responded to the knowing touches and aches and pains faded away to nothing.  He sunk even further into the water as everything got heavier with lazy pleasure.  “Let me take care of you, too?” he asked.  

"If you have the energy for it." Khan said, continuing to use his large hands over Jim's body. Massaging into the muscle down his sides, around to the small of his back, then back over his hip to between his thighs, Khan made sure Jim got the full treatment. Not just to remove his aches, but to wash him, everywhere. "I enjoy having your hands on me ... even when you are just playing with my hair."

“You do have nice hair,” Jim said and slid his hands into it as well as he could from his current position.  “Soft and longer now, but it looks good on you.”  He massaged into Khan’s scalp tenderly, working his fingers to produce the best effects.  “And it all covers that amazing brain of yours.  Such a terrifying thing, that brain...or comforting, when it’s on your side.”  He leaned forward to kiss Khan’s chest and sighed as the other man’s touch worked all of his limbs.

Khan gave a slight shiver, delighted to have the fingers massage his scalp. His eyes closed lightly and he purred in that way which often made him sound like a happy cat napping in the sun. "I intend to let it grow." He said, though Jim had many years to get used to the idea. "I hope you will still like it." However he did not speak to Jim's compliment about his intelligence being both amazing and terrifying. Khan had every intention of using his mind for peaceful endeavours, encouraging his people to do the same.

“Oh, yes, I’ll like that, Noonien,” Jim said and stroked the soft strands some more.  “Send me pictures so I can see the progress?”  He would miss not getting to be present for the entire time, but wanted to see as much as he could even at a distance.  “Or just call to talk to me often.  We can make a schedule.  Your voice can lull me to sleep.”   He smiled and kissed Khan’s nose.

"Yes, Jim." Khan tucked their faces together and took a moment to himself. He would make contact with Jim regularly, give him personal updates, as well as notifying him on the status of his people and their achievements or the projects they were undertaking. He would remain connected with Jim, for as long as the young Captain would allow it, otherwise he would back off if Jim expressed his disinterest in the future, or if the heartache was too great for him, Khan would back down. As for now, he was not sure he could make himself say the words, good bye, when the time came. He did not say good bye, even when he had put his people under.

Jim wrapped his arms around his lover, rubbing his neck with one hand.  He knew what his lover was feeling, since he felt the same way himself.  “I’ll tell you everything of interest,” he promised.  “We’ll talk so much that you’ll get bored of listening to me.”  He nuzzled Khan’s cheek and rested there himself for a few moments.

"I won't be bored." Khan said quietly, one hand resting against the back of Jim's neck, hugging him like this. "Tell me everything. Even the parts where Dr. McCoy forbids you from doing something minor ... I want to hear it all." Anything he could get, to make it feel like he was still apart of Jim's life, and not separated from him. With a sigh, Khan forced himself to pull his head back and meet Jim's gaze. The truth was, they didn't have much time now. Khan swallowed, raising a wet hand to the side of Jim's face, thumbing over his lips. "Kiss?" He asked, before offering his lips.

“I won’t hold out on you,” Jim promised and kissed him passionately, pouring out his heart into the touch of their mouths.  He felt a stinging in his own eyes and fought down the tears, but they were building irrevocably, he knew.  His chest heaved a little from the force of emotion, but he only clung tighter and kissed even more.

As upsetting as their potentially final parting was, Khan couldn't help but smile into the kiss. Jim was an extraordinary man, who among other things, had managed to defuse Khan, breaching his defensive layers to help him embrace a more mellow, human center. Jim had given him that, and it was a powerful thing. Khan gave himself into their kiss, sharing how much he adored the young captain on his lap. "It will be alright, Jim." Khan said, sliding his hand over the front of his chest, hand over his beating heart.

Jim shook his head and pressed his face into Khan’s throat, wanting to hide his expression.  “Somehow, I always lose the people I love,” he said softly into the warm skin.  He lifted his head, wetness glistening in his eyes, and kissed his lover again, softer this time.  “And I’ve come to love you most of all.  I don’t even know how that happened.”  He stroked Khan’s soft hair and rested their foreheads together.  “But there it is.”

"You are not losing me at all, Jim. You know exactly where I will be." Khan kept his tone soft, exchanging these private words and raw feelings as gently as possible. "And as you should know by now, I am very protective of those I love. This is not abandonment, Jim." Khan was not about to be another upsetting statistic in Jim's life. This was not as final as death, nor as hurtful as being discarded. "But our paths must separate, for a time. We have a responsibility to our people, before we can once more indulge in the shared happiness we have found in one another." Khan swallowed, eyes down as their heads remained pressed together. "I will be here, Jim, right where you left me. Your loving Noonien."

“Yes, I know it’s not your fault,” Jim said and held him close.  “You’re my husband, and that’ll never change.  It’s just awful bad luck this time...for us both.”  And then he shook his head energetically and said, “No, ignore that.  You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.  Even better than the Enterprise, although she brought me you.”  He made a grumpy noise at his own schmoop and hugged Khan again.  “Fuck, I’m an awful idiot right now.”

"Jim-" Khan spoke his name with a soft gasp of surprise. He knew Jim loved him, but he had not expected the young Captain to value him so highly, not to mention, admit it out loud. "Please, Jim. Shh-" Khan said, hugging one arm around his husband, while the other cupped the side of his face, holding him close as they sought solace and small comforts from one another. After a few silent tears of his own, Khan nodded in agreement, "You are good for me, too."

Jim just held on tight for as long as he dared, savoring the strength and closeness of his Noonien.  And then he pulled himself together and said softly, “I should dry and get dressed.”  He nuzzled into Khan’s cheek.  “As much as I don’t want to.”  He shifted back to look into Khan’s eyes, his own completely defenseless and open for the other man.

"Jim. Husband." He settled Jim with an intense look that made his blue eyes spark brilliantly. Jim Kirk was loved. By his crew. And by his husband. Either way, he would not be alone, he would not be without a family. Jim Kirk was a good man, and a strong enough influence to make Khan into a good man as well. He was Captain, he was Khan's Captain. His beautiful human lover. And husband. "Come back for me." He said, it was a gentle demand. For two men who knew better than to make promises, Khan was asking that Jim live long enough, well enough, safe enough, to come back to him, and in turn, Khan would wait for him.

Jim stroked Khan’s right cheek and nodded once, saying, “I’ll come back for myself, as well.”  He kissed him lightly and eased off his lap, forcing himself to exit the bath.  Every step felt like it weighed more heavily on him, as he readied himself to return to his gray lady and leave behind his heart.  “And call, as often as I can.”  He picked up a towel and held it out to Khan in open invitation.

Khan stepped out of the water after Jim, and smiled a little as Jim took the time to wrap him in a towel. He felt like this in a long time. The fingertips in his left hand trembled. It felt the same as when he had put his people under, into their deep cryo-sleep, fleeing Earth with nothing more then a promise that he would find them a better life. Everything had been so uncertain then. The same weight pressed down on Khan now. His fingers were light over Jim's collarbone, spreading down the fabric of his uniform across his chest. He did not know how to say goodbye. His hand slipped down and took Jim by the wrist, holding him for a moment before taking his hand as kissing the top of it, nuzzling his fingertips once more.

Jim leaned closer as his fingertips were kissed and pressed a kiss to Khan’s forehead.  “Do you want to walk me to the beam out location?” he asked, voice shaky.  He would understand if Khan did not want to see him shimmer out of view, the last few seconds of their meeting his atoms being carried away to the Enterprise.  He nuzzled into the soft strands of hair.  “I understand if you want to part here.  This is a good place for memories.”

No, Khan had no desire to see Jim fade away before him. But he also was not about to let Jim walk away, to be alone in these last few minutes when there was no need for it. "I will walk with you." Khan said, pulling on the long tunic that now smelled like Jim, then took his lover by the hand, seeing him out. He sighed deeply, hating every step, but he squeezed their fingers together, and looked down to be reminded of the rings on both their hands.

Jim looked all around him at the home that Khan had built and said, “When I get back, I expect this place to be even more incredible.  I’m going to hold you to that, you know.  And take care of your family.  I want to hear all about them having kids and being successful in everything.”  He turned to Khan as he reached their destination and his moment of departure.  “Noonien.”

"Yes, Jim." He would. He promised. Khan kept himself from blinking, not wanting to lose sight of Jim for even a second. His hands lingered, wanting to touch Jim all over again. But he didn't. They couldn't. They had said their goodbyes. He did not want Jim's final memory of him to be some sort of desperate act. "I love you, my husband." He said, letting his hand fall away.

“I love you, Noonien,” Jim said and then pulled out his communicator and made the call that would return him to the Enterprise.  It was one of the hardest things he’d ever done.  As the transporter took hold and pulled him back to his command, he watched Khan until he could see him no more.


	19. Long Distances

Two Weeks Later

The data on Jim's viewer loaded up and the image of Khan was before him, seated outside, with the mountainside behind him. Despite their separation, Khan looked worry-free. His people were safe. And thriving. The prerecorded message began with a direct address:

"Hello, my Husband. Attached to this file are several from three science teams that are currently exploring the southern hemisphere. Please forward the relevant data to your biology and chemistry departments, the work they have accomplished is quite extensive. And they are eager to share their knowledge.

“Hello, yourself,” Jim murmured at the message, unable not to respond. He reached out and put a hand on the screen, as though he could touch the man on the other side. “Of course you guys have been all uber busy and learning all kinds of new things.” He smiled as he watched the recording, even though his heart ached inside him. His lover looked good, which was both consoling and a bit difficult to take. 

He’d found it hard to sleep these first days without Khan. He wanted to feel his arms and hear his voice and just be beside him again. Knowing that was impossible made everything harder to bear, but he soldiered on. The Enterprise kept him occupied during the day, so that it was his nights that he found restless. These messages from Khan were lifelines that he clung to and enjoyed, brightening up times that were gloomy.

The recording continued, "Most exciting, has been the discovery of mircobees. Including their wingspan, they are no larger then two millimeters and seem to be the major pollinator on this planet. Which is astonishing, considering the diversity of plant life ... as you well know from our foods. They have massive mud and earth hive colonies, similar to termite mounds. And as a welcome addition to our diets, we have begun to harvest their honey and brew mead."

Khan went on for a fair time, being through as he discussed the planet ecology and plans to expand their community. In the end, these were all very pretty facts. Informative, though not impersonal. However it was clear, with this distance between them, Khan did not know how to open up. Without Jim, he was unable to show his more vulnerable, human side. Or at least, was still working on how to express it without being seen as weak.

"... uncertain of the severity of the winters here, we may migrate closer to the equator in three months time. But it is a decision we are still discussing."

Khan paused, almost staring at Jim through the screen. Trying to imagine what he looked like. Trying to envision the nearest planet or asteroid the Enterprise was passing. Khan sat there quietly, so still it might look like the recording was frozen in error, except that light cloud cover moved overhead, casting shadows, that then soon passed.

"I imagine you with me. In my arms, every night." He said at last, finding it difficult to admit these truths, without Jim in front of him. He frowned slightly, then reached forward and turned off the recording.

“Hey!” Jim protested, as the screen went dark.  “I wanted to hear more about that.”  He sighed and turned off the recording, before starting one of his own in answer.  

“Dear Noonien,” he said and then smiled a little.  “Or my darling husband.  Does that work for you?  Well, I think it does, so you’re stuck with it.  First off, I love getting calls from you.  But you always cut off at the good parts!  I want to hear more about you imagining I was with you.  Cause I do that every night.  I think about you being in my arms, in my bed, warming the sheets and helping me fall asleep.  I haven’t slept all that well these past few weeks.  I hope it doesn’t show too much.

We’ve mostly been traveling since our departure, since there’s not a ton around here for us to look at.  Our next destination is a small system a few days from here, which seems to contain two planets with life.  That’s pretty unusual, and we’re studying how closely related the species on the two planets are.  No advanced civilizations expected.  This is a pure science mission.  Spock and the gang are spending all their waking moments getting ready, so you can imagine what a zoo the sciences are right now.  I’m having to order them to get some sleep themselves.  But it’s good to see the enthusiasm...more than good.  It’s what Starfleet is actually supposed to be about.”

He sighed and stretched a little, groaning at the pull to slight achy muscles.  “I still have a few of the marks you left on me that last night.  I like having them there.  They remind me of you. I even went so far as to try and make sure they stayed, though Bones’ll grump at me about it eventually.  Totally worth it though.  Especially the ones you made when you were at the height of passion.  About the only unplanned time for you, huh?  Those moments.  And you can tell in the marks.  They’re not as precise as the rest of them.  They blur a bit.  I love that...it means I made you forget everything but me for a moment.”

His comm buzzed, and Jim grumbled a little.  “I have to go, but I’ll record a longer message tomorrow.  I love you, my impossible husband.  Be happy.”  He waved, showing off his ring, before turning the recording off and going to the answer the buzzer.

*            *            *

"Hello, Jim." Khan said with a little smile, slightly forced, slightly sad. Jim wouldn't know, but this had been the eighth attempt at recording a message, and that wasn't even counting the times Khan sat down to think over something worthy to tell his husband and lover. "I am pleased to hear that the Enterprise is getting to follow through with scientific missions. It is a worthy undertaking, and I know your crew prove themselves at every chance."

With his hands folded in his lap, Khan thumbed over the ring on his finger, a small tick in his behavior that had not been there before. "I do think about you, Jim." Khan began, eyes lowered, "I imagine you in my arms, pushing back against me in your sleep." He said, his smile no longer forced, but genuine, though his eyes were properly closed now as he allowed himself to imagine Jim in his mind, rather than the empty computer screen before him. "The mess of your hair in the morning. Sharing our meals together. Walking you to one of the science labs."

After a sigh, Khan opened his eyes again and looked straight on. There was a lot to say, but the things that were on Khan's mind were unfair, he felt, to burden Jim with when there was nothing neither of them could do about it. So for a long time, Khan just sat there, letting the recording document his silence, and the brief twist of a lip whenever he was about to speak, or a contemplative frown, when he felt the words weren't right. Silence was generally something Khan was comfortable with, but he knew Jim was expected him to say something, so he kept trying. "My people have been reading up on Earth's history." He began abruptly. "When trying to engage them in discussion, overall I have found it very difficult to get any of them to commit themselves to a response. It is hard for them, as it was hard for me, to come to terms with losing our place on Earth. But everyone feels that Starfleet is an excellent pursuit for humanity."

Jim watched his latest communication from Khan with a fond smile.  He wished it were not so hard a struggle for Khan to say what he wanted, but the effort meant a lot to him.  His own life was definitely emptier for the lack of his husband, and he found himself still looking to find him as he walked the Enterprise, thinking Khan would be around the next corner or in the opening turbolift.  And he ached. But the messages helped, even when they were mostly of Khan sitting there and looking into the screen.  

“They better think that!” Jim said teasingly to the screen.  “There’s a place for them in Starfleet, if they ever choose that route, just like there’s a place for you.  And we’ll all be richer for that.  I understand about losing your home, though.  It’s a choice you had to make a long time ago, but that doesn’t really make it easier, does it?  We all have to live with the consequences of our actions, but it’s hard to live with the consequences of the actions of others we can’t control, I think. Like Marcus.  He screwed up so much for you.  I’d like to think it would have been different if I’d found you instead.”  His cheeks colored, and he looked at the floor.  “I’m talking back to the message...well, I’ll say this all to you in my next message, ‘k?”

Khan and the other augments had always been a little messed up from the beginning. And they weren't even the worst of their breeding. But yes, falling into the hands of Admiral Marcus had screwed Khan up even further, which resulted in massive consequences for Earth. But that was behind them, for the most part. "Jim- regarding your offer ... you have made it before, and I still have my doubts ... but I have made your offer public knowledge, and as it is, nine individuals so far have expressed interest in Starfleet. I have attached their files, basic information, which includes their strengths in many scientific and medical fields. If there is indeed a place for them in Starfleet, please provide further information how they might peruse a position or rank." There were of course the usual ways, going through the academy, though Khan felt there might be specific rules in place when it came to the augments, simply because of the nature of their violent history.

“Sweet,” Jim said, glancing at the files, before returning his attention to the recording.  “You know I’ll get right on that.  One of those names wouldn’t be yours, would it?”  He smiled a little at his lover’s picture on the screen, knowing it wouldn’t be, but understanding.  “I believe that they can make good in Starfleet, Khan.  I wonder if you’ll miss them if they choose to leave, though...bet you will.  I know you love all of your family.  I’m just glad you seem to be doing well overall.  No signs of new family members, is there?  Cause the first one is named Jim...that’s just understood.”  He touched Khan’s face on the screen.  “Sorry, I’m listening.”

 

*            *            *

 

Jim sat down on his bed and then collapsed back with a weary sigh.  He was obviously weather beaten and tired, but his eyes were bright and as full of fire as ever.  Reaching out, he pulled over his private PADD and flicked it on, turning to the recording mode.  With a quiet smile for the man who would be on the receiving end of his message, he said, “So, you can calm down now, love.  I’m here.  I’m well.  And everything’s back to normal.  Well, as normal as anything ever gets out here.  Can’t believe it’s been over six months since the last time I saw you.”  He scrubbed a hand over his face.

“So, first, I’m nearly fully recovered.  Bones says a few days of rest and I’ll be a hundred percent.  He also said a lot of things that are not repeatable over subspace, but he tends to exaggerate.”  He flashed his winning grin at the screen.  “Second, the Alvarians took the attack on me very seriously and have arrested everyone involved.  Looks like they will be our third converts to the Federation.”  He pumped a fist in the air triumphantly.  “At this rate, I’ll be making records for successful diplomacy.  Not that I ever doubted it.  Still, we only do the preliminary work.  All the details will be worked out by the Lexington, who’re heading this way when they get a chance.  I plan to make them trail us across our entire voyage, putting the finishing touches on our victories.”

His face went flat and serious for a moment.  “I lost a couple of good people down there.  I hate that.  No matter how long I do this or how many people I lose, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.  I think you understand that.  Speaking of which, how is everyone?  I want to hear all about it in your next report.  Don’t skimp on the details. I'm sorry for Starfleet that they've all decided to stay where they are...but happy for you. I know you want them close."

“Fuck, I miss you, Noonien.  I dream about you a lot.  When I was hurt and delirious in Sickbay, Bones says I kept calling for you.”  He grimaced and said, “Shouldn’t have said that.  Look, don’t worry about me.  I just love you a lot and wish you could be here with me.  That’s perfectly normal for someone who loves his husband as much as I love you.”  He blew a little kiss at the screen.  “Next time, I’ll give you a sexy scene, if you want.  Something to remind you of all the physical reasons I’m a good husband.”  He tipped a wink.  “But I need to sleep before I pass out holding the screen.  I promise to have pleasant dreams about being with you.  Take care of yourself, my Noonien.  I’ll send another message soon.”

The message was one Khan had been anxiously awaiting. But one second of seeing Jim's face, eyes bright as always, helped ease his worries and allowed Khan to listen a little more calmly. Since the two of them were in regular correspondence, Khan had known about the diplomatic mission with the Alvarians, but after an unusually long silence with no update, Khan had begun to worry. Jim knew him well. "Good." He said softly to the screen. He was not one to interact with the recorded messages, but it was a relief to see his husband.

After watching the message to the end, Khan recorded one in response almost immediately. "Hopefully by the time you receive this, you will have been well rested for several days. You were right, Jim, I was worried. But I am glad to see that you are well, and that diplomatic relations can continue to move forward. However, I would like to propose a suggestion ..." Khan blinked slowly, able to visualize Jim before him a little better these days, making his messages a touch more natural. "In my case, several of those closest to me have my consent to contact you, should I be unable to do so myself. They have my permission to inform you if I have sustained an injury, or of relevant events that prohibit me from contacting you. I would therefore like you to consider doing the same." Khan sighed, just staring at Jim. He knew it may be a tall order, as many of Jim's officers were probably quite pleased to have left Khan and the other augments behind, not wanting any further contact with them. Even so, for their Captain, for Jim, he hoped one or two could be trusted to follow through with this kind of order.

"But you have my condolences, Jim." Khan knew the weight of what it felt like, to lose someone who served or fought at his side. A familiar face, standing in support time and time again, battle after battle, and then one day, no longer be there. "A life lost, but not forgotten." He said empathetically. "Please rest, my love. I will respond again with greater details to your inquires in a day or so. But I am relieved that you are safe and aboard the Enterprise once more. Sleep well, my husband."

 

*            *            *

 

It took using the Lexington as a relay across subspace, but Khan managed to connect live with the Enterprise, with the help from engineers at all three stages. The audio was clear, but the image was quite sensitive, scrambled by radiation from local star systems, which had to be constantly adjusted and fine tuned in order to clear away. It made a great deal of work for making something as simple as a phone call, but it had been an undertaking all parties had been enthusiastic to work on. If perfected, it could mean keeping direct contact with even the most remote parts of space, without fear, for instance, of a settlement dying out, before their distress call is even received.

"Hello, Jim." It had been one year and two months since Kirk and the Enterprise had departed from orbit. And in that time, Khan had messaged Jim with regular updates, meanwhile his own appearance subtly changed month by month. These days Khan wore his hair long, down the center of his back, tied simply with a ribbon near the base of his neck to keep the long strands gathered together. Other than his growing hair, Khan did not visibly change, except for a tendency to wear conservative clothing, keeping himself fully covered, except for his face.

Scotty, Uhura and Jim had worked for several months to try to make this work, and with the live message final working, Jim looked at his lover with obvious joy. “Noonien,” he murmured, as the other man greeted him. He drunk in the sight, which was somehow different when they could speak virtually live to each other (give or take a bit of a delay for the distance), and knew he was smiling like the lovesick fool he still was. 

"I have something very special to share with you today." He said, not wasting time. Reaching off camera, Khan pulled a small bundle into his arms, unwrapping a light layer of fabric until the face of an infant was visible. "I would like to introduce you to the first naturally born augment. She is daughter to Kupe and Meri, but they have bestowed the honor of her naming to me. And I have named her Pikea. Pike." Khan carefully shifted the newborn in his arms so that Jim might get a good look at her. "It is my hope, that you approve. She is already a strong, beautiful symbol for all of us."

“Pikea,” Jim whispered when the baby was lifted to his gaze and felt a tear run down his cheek.  “Yes, that’s perfect.  I think Chris’d be so delighted that you decided to name her that, Noonien. She’ll have a name to make proud, too.  One she can be proud of.  Thank you.  That’s almost as great a gift to me, as she herself is.  Are you going to celebrate her arrival somehow?  Or did you already?  Throw an amazing birth party?”

"None of us have ever raised a child before. And we never were children. This is entirely new." And among them, Khan was the one with the most experience, barely, with raising others, or at the very least, helping others in their development. "How do we celebrate?" He asked, holding her in his arms, close to his chest, but lifted his head to look at Jim. There was no replacing Christopher Pike, but Khan knew that the child in his arms, the first born augment, would maintain honour to the name.

Jim beamed at him, loving that Khan was asking.  Although, he was totally the wrong person, since he’d never had any birthday parties, except the one during the good year on Tarsus IV, which was then forevermore tainted by everything that came after.  Still, he had a ton of ideas.

“A feast to celebrate life, Noonien.  She’s too young to appreciate it, but everyone should gather, make the finest foods and drinks, maybe sing and dance together and just allow yourselves to be unreservedly happy for a night.  You deserve it for all you’ve managed in such a short time.  And it’s a fitting way to bring Pikea into the universe, don’t you think?”

"Then that is what we shall do." Celebrating accomplishments was not something his people indulged in, but celebrating life, that was a concept Khan felt everyone would embrace. The baby gave a little stretch in Khan's arms, but otherwise seemed quite content to remain still and quiet while being held. "She is daughter to all of us. We are committed to raising her as a family." Though biologically she had one mother and one father, in their minds, she was family to all of them, and would be cared for and loved by all of Khan's people.  

“An overprotective bunch of augmented parents,” Jim said fondly.  “What more could one little girl ask for?”  He looked at the tiny bundle in Khan’s arms and then back up at his husband.  “You look awfully good holding her, too.  Like a natural.”  He imagined what Khan’s children would look like, all serious demeanor and straight posture and smiled even more brightly at the idea.  “Are there other little ones on the way?”

In that moment, there were no sharp lines or heavy shadows in Khan's expression. He smiled down at the child, then to Jim. No, it was not his child, but she was family, and a little bit his daughter just the same. He took it as a compliment. "Yes, two are expected in two months time, and another four, a month after that. Our family is growing." He said, though wondered if Jim could ever consider them family in the same way Khan did. If he would feel the same attachment, for children that were not his own.

“You’re going to have a hoard soon,” Jim said with deep affection.  “And you’ll be everyone’s godfather.  And babysitter.  I can’t wait.”  He cleared his throat of a bit of a lump there.  “I wish I were there to share it with you.  Knowing how much you care about your family, I can only imagine how amazing you must feel now to see them thrive and grow, without anyone to threaten them or try to dictate their lives anymore.”

Khan nodded slowly, "The relief and joy I feel every day to see them ... alive, exploring, happy, building families ... it is more than I can describe." Khan actually shed a tear on the subject, then smiled again at Jim, dismissing the emotional response. "My people are growing and learning in ways we were never able to experience before. We are getting the chance to be something other than what we were designed for."

“You’ve always been more than the sum of your parts,” Jim said.  “One day, I’ll get to see the results of that.”  He took a deep breath.  “I don’t have any news quite as exciting as yours, I’m afraid.  We’re a long ways from home now, farther than any Starfleet explorer has ever been.  And still going.  My crew is doing well, although our number has gone down and not up.  That’s to be expected on a mission like this, but I’m determined to do better.”  He offered a deprecating smile at Khan.  “I guess I am growing up an awful lot these last few years.  Starting with Nero...and helped along by falling for a pretty amazing guy.”  He held up his hand and showed off his ring.  “You know, I haven’t had the slightest interest in anyone else, Noonien.  I know nobody else can ever be you…”

Khan nodded as Jim spoke. "You are doing quite well, as it is, Jim. You are explorers, touching on new ground, discovering new worlds and new civilizations ... mapping unexplored star systems, and encountering previously undocumented phenomena, witnessing the birth and death of stars. It is noble work, Jim. I and glad you are apart of it." Humans had a long history of being explorers and settlers for thousands of years, though had not always been socially conscious of the new lives they were encountering. At least these days there was the prime directive to help guide humanity into more ethical decision making. "But do not think it means I miss you, any less." Khan then added, raising his hand and pressing it to his own chest, so that his ringed finger lay over his heart. He had not asked Jim to be faithful to him, he had only asked that he come back, in the end. So Khan was honored and touched that Jim couldn't bring himself to get involved with anyone else, despite how lonely or skin hungry he might otherwise be. "It is good to see you, Jim." He said, clearing feeling his own relief from being able to see and hear Jim in nearly-real-time.

“And to see you,” Jim affirmed warmly.  “It’s nice to be able to talk to you and hear a response back.  You should hear me babble replies to your recorded messages.  I have to pause them all the time or relisten over and over to hear everything you actually say.  It’d be embarrassing, except I like to rewatch them anyway.  I’ve got all of them saved and when I need to hear from you, I randomly pick one to listen to.  I have some favorites marked, too, for the bad days, when I need a little support from my husband.”

"Yes, Jim-" Khan hummed, eyes fixated on his image, even as the screen flipped and pulled the picture askew a few times. "You have the support of your husband, no matter what." Khan felt something in his chest unclench as Jim spoke to him. It wasn't exactly a secure connection, so the fact that Jim was willing to say these things meant, in a way, that Jim did not mind who knew or who overheard. They were loving partners, even though they were kept apart for a time. "Even though my responses may be delayed, you are always welcome to communicate your concerns to me, Jim. To share your thoughts and what you are feeling ... not that you are one for censoring yourself." He smiled knowingly, "I still want to be the person you speak to, openly. To share in your good and bad days."

Jim laughed a little at the idea of censoring himself, knowing indeed that his tendency to just say what he thought and felt had often got him in trouble.  He’d learned something of diplomacy, but still tended toward verbal diarrhea at inconvenient moments.  But with Khan, he felt safe, even though they did not secure their recordings beyond the minimum necessary.  He was unashamed of loving the augment and didn’t want to hide it in any case.  “And I want to be that person for you, as well.  Both the good and bad days, Noonien.  Promise me?”

Khan did not want to take his eyes off of Jim, but looked down briefly to the child in his arms. "I find it difficult, Jim." He admitted, not that it should come as any great surprise, after all Jim had sat through over a years worth of messages from Khan, somewhere Khan remained truly reserved, others, where it was clear there was something weighing on his mind, but unable to share. "But I do promise you, husband, you know me better than anyone. And when I am able ... you are the person I open up to, my love."

“I understand,” Jim said softly.  “It took me a long time to learn to open up to anyone.  But I do find it easy with you, Noonien.  Once we grew closer, I found I wanted to tell you things.”  He shrugged and smiled for the other man.  “Oh hey, will you make some recordings from the life party and send them to me?  I’d like that very much, you know.  I want to see your family...and you dancing.  I definitely want to see some of that.  And you can make me jealous with all the good food you have.  Starship food definitely leaves something to be desired.  And even though I get some variety at diplomatic functions, usually, I can’t eat half of it without massive allergic reactions.

Khan wanted to press their forehead together and nuzzle, whispering affectionate secrets to one another. But they couldn't have that, so he would need to find ways to express intimacy in different ways. "Yes, of course Jim. We will document the celebration, so that you may enjoy this moment along with us. You are my family too, Jim. You helped get my people here to this point, the celebration is for you, just as much as it is for us." Khan couldn't keep his gaze off of Jim, enjoying his bright blue eyes, and the tone of voice he used when speaking with him. "You have your own path, but you are deeply apart of my life, Jim. All our lives. When Pikea grows up, she will know about you and the Enterprise. She will know about the man I love, and who I call husband."

“I hope she will know me herself and not have to rely only on your biased stories,” Jim teased, cheeks red with pleasure.  “She’ll think I’m a lot grander than I actually am.  But I’m proud to be part of your family, Noonien.”  He paused, remembering a worry his husband had always had about his people’s acceptance of others, not to mention himself.  “And I’ll be welcome?  As a member of your family...your husband?”  He had met with some of Khan’s crew after their reawakening, but things were so hectic then, with all of the augments trying to adjust to their new reality, so they had more important things to concentrate on.

Khan parted his lips, but instead of speaking right away, let out a soft sigh. This was one of the topics he had a hard time addressing over a recording. So it was perhaps a good thing that they were addressing it in person. "Yes, Jim. You will be welcome here as family. As my husband and partner." Khan took the time to take another breath before he continued, "My people know the circumstances of our history together, the good and the bad. They know I have not given my heart easily. That you are a worthy companion, who they are eager to meet again and embrace properly."

“So, that I put up a fight for you and you against me tells in my favor then?” Jim asked with a grin.  “I like that.  I have no intention to stop fighting for you, either.  So, you better factor that into all your calculations.  And don’t tell me you don’t calculate everything down to the smallest decimal place, either.”  He winked at his lover cheekily.  “You know, I’d be tempted to turn this conversation a little bit dirty, if you weren’t standing there with that adorable baby.  I feel a bit perverted.”

"You are good for me, Jim." Khan hummed with a little sly grin of his own. "Perhaps ... you could make a private message for me, sometime ... or develop a more secure channel ... I would not want any intimate exchanges used against you in the future." Khan gave a lick of his lips. "I trust your judgement, and your imagination."

Jim bit back an answer about it being a little late for him to worry about indiscretions and said, “I’m sure I can work something out that will satisfy us both.”  He set his own slightly hungry gaze on Khan.  “I’ll give you a good Yuletide present, something to really set the mood right for the coming year.  Well, if either of us were on Earth.  Are you going to celebrate any of the old Earth holidays?  Start your own maybe, like your party for Pikea?”

"Our creators observed a verity of beliefs, but religion is not something any of us took to." Even though many of them, Khan included, often embraced certain self disciplines, even if they were originally religiously based. But it was more so a matter of adopting good habits, and to have something that was relatable by the humans of their time, even if it was as simple as wearing a certain style of clothing, observing certain dietary restrictions, or honoring certain fasts or feasts. "However, we may design our own celebrations, based upon the natural change of seasons. It is not a subject we have given much attention to. But now with Pikea, I am certain we will develop a calendar system that includes times for celebration."

“I think all people need their own celebrations,” Jim said.  “Every civilization has developed some sort of series of holidays, times to put aside work for a little while and enjoy life.  I always hated Christmas...but that’s just cause I never had a family to celebrate with.  Now that I’ve got my whole crew, we have a shipwide day to share many different cultures, and it’s one of my favorites.  I’d love to hear more about what you set-up.”

"You will be informed, of course." Khan hummed, pleased by the conversation and Jim's insistence that Khan and his people should have fun. It wasn't an efficient use of time, but Khan felt he could convince them that it was important to their development. "Though I imagine we will observe the day we landed on this planet, as well as the day we left Earth. In any case, I will keep you up to date with the meaning behind any celebrations we choose to have, and record them so that you may experience them with us on some level as well."

“That’s funny,” Jim said, “I never thought of celebrating our years out here, but we should.  It’s pretty amazing...and we’re just up on our second anniversary, but you’re just a bit beyond your first.  I can’t believe it’s been that long.  But next year, you can go all out for the second.  Hey...maybe you could celebrate that as your birthday?  A kind of renewal.  I’d love to see you blowing out the candles on your cake.  There’s our wedding anniversary, too.  We should have done something…that’s what I get for being so busy.”

"I think I may leave the birthdays, to those who are born." Khan said, gently rubbing his large hand over Pikea's stomach as she slept peacefully in his arms. "May I ask you Jim, what day you consider to be our wedding? The day we exchanged rings? The day I confided in you, what it meant to me to call you husband? I want to honor our bond, properly." He said, wanting to learn and willing to follow Jim's lead.

Jim pondered that a moment and said, “The day you told me what it meant to you and I said that we didn’t need the formal ceremony to make it so.  But maybe, when I get back, we can have a formal ceremony?  With my crew and your family to see it?  Spock can officiate.”  He smiled at the idea, picturing the Vulcan in full, robed regalia.  “Or maybe your second?  It doesn’t matter to me.  Until then, we can celebrate that as our wedding day.”  He made a bizarre sound in the back of his throat.  “Wedding day.  Wow, I actually said it.”

Khan considered the proposal with great care. It didn't change their love for one another, the two men were bound to one another, regardless. But it did make their relationship official, formally recognized. "If Commander Spock is consenting, I would consider him an ideal choice. Yes, Jim. When we are reunited, we shall have a ceremony. But until then, I will continue to think on the day when I first called you husband." Khan tried his best to read into Jim's expression through the screen that sometimes would distort the image of his lover. "If you are certain, that is what you want. If the concept does not please you Jim, you do not need to agree on my account."

“Idiot,” Jim chided softly, smile doubly bright for finding a reason to call his amazingly brilliant augment that.  “When I was a foolish youth, brawling and drinking my life away, I swore I would never take that oath.  And even when I got into Starfleet and began learning some respect for authority, I was pretty damn certain it’d never happen to me.  That I wouldn’t want it to.  You changed my mind.  And other parts of me.  And we have a little less than three years to plan, so this is going to be an amazing wedding ceremony.  Which I am not telling Uhura or Chapel or Bones about until it’s too late for them to contribute...”

Khan however smiled fondly at being told he was an idiot. He missed this. "At your discretion then, my love. You are still my husband, regardless of who else knows." Three years was still a long time from now, but it would give them both time to settle into the idea and plan for the life they wanted to share together. And so for a moment, it did actually feel like the two of them had a future together. That they were not doomed to be separated for the rest of their lives, but that they would in fact both live long enough to see the other again, to hold, to touch, to speak, and laugh and smile and cry together. Even if planning for the future was dangerous, it lifted Khan's spirits even so. "In time, I expect you to articulate the sort of traditions you wish to observe, so that we may plan for them."

“We can both think about what we’d like to do and talk it over,” Jim said.  “I think that’ll be quite a nice way to spend some of our time apart, planning for when we’re together again.”  He twisted his head slowly as Khan’s image spun in a circle on the screen before him.  “This isn’t perfect yet.  I’ll spend more time working on making this better, too.  And strengthening the signal, so we can use it at even greater distances.  Since the Lexington is going to continue to follow us, if I have anything to say about it, we can use her to relay again.”  

"It may also increase heartache, to describe the things we want, but cannot have right now. But I welcome it, just the same, Jim." Khan closed his eyes and turned his head to the side, imaging briefly that he could feel Jim kissing the side of his face. "I look forward to speaking in real-time with you again. It is good to see you, and hear your voice."

“We’re not done yet here,” Jim reminded him firmly.  “Though, I have to admit, I’d like just to look at you and enjoy knowing that you’re safe and sound right in this minute.  Although maybe that’s more for you to do, huh, knowing the kind of trouble I like to get myself into?”

"Of course, Jim. This planet is a sanctuary to us all. There is no need to be concerned about us, we are far removed from any other species, and there are no dangers local to us. But you are right, I do not mind this at all. It is good to see that you are well and safe." Since Khan could not be there to watch over Jim first hand, he had to trust that the other man was being a little more cautious these days, a little more responsible with himself, rather than reckless with his life. "It is a comfort to hear your voice, unrehearsed."

“Hey, what do you mean unrehearsed?” Jim demanded.  “I don’t censor myself when I talk to you...much.”  He looked a little sheepish and admitted, “There may be a few things I’m not allowed to tell you due to regulations.  But nothing that matters between us, Noonien.  I don’t hold back about anything important that way.  And you know the way I babble I’m not making every word count.  Even though I should.  But I like to speak as naturally as I can with you, so it’s more like a real conversation than just a recording.”

"Perhaps that is just my way, then. As I practice what I want to say to you ..." Khan tried to be efficient with his time and with his words, even though sometimes his messages still contained long periods of silence, with him just staring at the screen, trying to still feel a sense of connection with the man he loved. "Please, Jim. Speak to me ... I could use your babble."

“I like your messages, Noonien,” Jim assures him.  “You and I are different in the way we do things.  I think that’s part of why we work together so well.  We combine what we have in common, which turned out to be an awful lot, with how we’re different.  Took awhile for us to get used to each other, to understand how we fit together.”  He settled even more comfortably in front of the screen, smiling warmly.  

“Our next mission should at least give us all a chance to relax a little,” he said.  “There’s no known lifeforms and none likely to be found.  The planets appear to be rich in a few rarer minerals, including some used in medicines, so Bones’ team is set to work with the geologists.  It’s a pretty unusual pairing, so that’s pretty fun.  And a lot of the members of both groups don’t get to go on away missions all that often, so it’s a good challenge for them, too.”

Khan couldn't help but share in Jim's excitement and slight amusement at the idea. Geologists and doctors did make for an odd couple, but it was perhaps the sort of pairing Doctor McCoy needed. For a man who seemed to dislike space, and people, it seemed a strange choice to join Starfleet and agree to the five year mission, forcing him to live and work with the same group of people, without escape. "Ah- I am sure they will embrace it as the exciting opportunity it is, to do their jobs." For the first time during their entire conversation, Pikea began to fuss, pushing out against the blankets she was wrapped in, trying to move and get comfortable again. "Easy-" Khan said to the child in his arms, helping her change position. He hummed nonsense to soothe her, until she settled again.

“You are a natural, Noonien,” Jim praised, watching with warm eyes as the baby calmed under his husband’s careful attentions.  “Are you going to let her call you Uncle Khan?  Or Uncle Noonie, maybe?  That’s what I want her to call you.  Maybe I’ll call you that, too.  Unca Noonie.”  He chuckled a little at the sound of it, cause it sounded right on his tongue.  “I want a recording of you singing her to sleep, too.  I can use it to help me on some more difficult nights, too.”  

"Noonie?" Khan gave Jim an uncertain look. "We shall see." Noonien was still a very personal, private name that only Jim used. But it was possible that Khan would allow it from the first born. "But that is not something to be decided now. When she becomes older, she may relate to me in any way she wishes to express herself. We are family, no matter my title." Khan hummed a little again before he added, "I am happy to sing for you, Jim, and fill the silence of your room at night, so that you may sleep, so that you may feel like I am with you still."

“Yeah, I’d like that, Noonien.  If you have time to sing for me a few songs that you can send…”  Jim made a hopeful gesture with his hands.  “I wish I could send you something of equal value, but you know I can’t sing.  Maybe I could read a few of my favorite stories to you and record them...you know, the way they used to releases novels, a chapter of two at a time.  Serials!  That’s what they called them.  I can record a bunch of chapters to send you, and you can listen at your leisure.  I mean, if you want.”

"Yes-" Khan brightened at this suggestion. Yes, he was already well read, and yes, reading to the other augments was something he had done ... a lifetime ago. But the idea of Jim reading to him struck him as satisfying a comfort he craved. "Yes, please. Jim. I would like that very much." That way Khan could lay in bed, wrapped in his heavy blankets and imagine Jim at his side, reading to him, even if it was something as simple as a report for an upcoming mission.

Jim beamed for having suggested something Khan obviously liked so much.  “I’ll try to pick good books that you may not have been as likely to have read.  Although, I bet that won’t be that easy, huh?”  He loved a challenge, and it was obvious Jim was already considering an array of possible choices.  “This is going to be fun.  I love reading anyway, and it will be especially fun to share it with you.”

"Anything you want, my love. I welcome it." In a small, strange and complicated way, this allowed Jim to take the lead, while Khan gave up some control. In a way, it was a welcome relief for the augment, who was constantly looked to for leadership and answers. In this area, he could listen to Jim set the tone and choose the subject material, in this area, Jim could take charge and Khan would be genuinely relaxed by it instead suspicious or self-conscious.

“Awesome,” Jim said enthusiastically.  “You can sing, and I can read, and together, we’ll give each other even more to look forward to.  I’m going to have to start a list of everything I want to do.  Watch me, I’m going to end up with no voice and no sleep.  That’s how excited I am about this idea.”  He practically vibrated in place with  enthusiasm.  “I’d love to hear some of the songs that mean the most to you, too, if I may.  And a few of the ones from our last night together.  I still find myself humming some of those to myself at night, when I’m feeling lonely in bed...and when I’m in a good mood, too.  I guess that’s only natural, huh?  Too bad I do it on the bridge sometimes and make everyone grumpy at me.”

"This will be good for us." Khan agreed. This way they could communicate with one another, remain intimate and enjoy the sound of the other's voice, without having to use mission briefings or monthly updates as an excuse to talk. This was more personal, and not just the broad terms of success on the Enterprise or of Khan's people. "But I want you to sleep, Jim. And eat." Though hoped that having voice recordings of one another like this would help settle otherwise nervous behaviors. "Perhaps sometime, if we can manage another live connection, we should have a dinner date together." They wouldn't be able to do it all the time, but it might be a nice treat to have something familiar.

“Bones has been keeping me on the most fucking boring diet in the world,” Jim beefed and scowled a little.  “Is it any wonder I’m not eating much?  I’ve lost ten pounds…”  He looked down at himself.  “I didn’t need to lose weight!”  He sighed and then offered a weak grin for Khan.  “Another reason to look forward to your food again.  It was amazing.  As for sleep...well, you know how I am.  I’ve been trying.  I think listening to your voice singing to me will help, actually.”  

The idea of the dinner date brightened him up again.  “Yeah.  We can do that.  We’ll work out the timing any everything.  It’ll be fun.  We can make up a dinner of our favorites and share why they are with each other?  Our current favorites, maybe?”

Khan frowned at the screen. He had never really understood Doctor McCoy's micromanaging control over Kirk, but Jim seemed to accept it and maybe even enjoyed complaining about it. Still, he wasn't sure why McCoy would want Jim to lose weight, maybe he was missing something, so he frowned further. "After the life celebration, I will make you a few recordings. And then we can arrange for our dinner date in the future."

Jim read Khan’s frown and said, “Bones is worried about my blood pressure.  He’s got me eating a lot of really healthy stuff to try and keep it down.  It’s not easy being a normal human running a starship full of crazy people.  Your blood is still helpful in a lot of ways, but even it can’t completely combat stress, I guess.”  He looked a little rueful and asked, “Will I still smell like family to you when I see you next?”

"Yes, of course." Khan snapped, but it was affectionate, as in: why would you ask something so foolish? "That genetic material will always be apart of you, absorbed into your body. You will always be my family, Jim. You will always be my husband." Khan looked down to the child in his arms, humans were so frail, he was glad that the children of his people would be spared that. Not that augments were completely immune, as Khan had proved, it just took a lot to take them down.

Jim laughed at the response and said, “Sorry.  Geez.  I swear we once talked about how it might fade with time.”  He grinned at the way Khan looked at the baby and said, “I know I will always be family in your heart, but that’s different.”

"It won't. You are stuck with me, in your blood, and bone, and tissue." Khan might have given a little grin at this, feeling a bit satisfied at least in this way, knowing that Jim was never really without him.

“That’s actually a comforting thought,” Jim mused.  “It means we really never are parted, even physically.  Though it’s not as nice to hug myself.  There’s something lacking in that.”  He demonstrated for Khan, wanting to see another hint of that rare smile.  “As for our dinner engagement, I’ll look over my schedule and give you some other times that might work.  Say, did you want some recordings from some of our explorations, too?  A lot of it can be shared, and I know Bones took some horrible footage of me…”

Khan was amused by Jim's behavior and eased up again, no longer so rigidly focused on his health, but enjoying his company again, without letting worry distract him too much. "Anything you are able to share, Jim. I would like to see the planets and star systems you are studying." In perhaps a small way he was not ready to admit, Khan had missed being apart of Jim's crew, exploring with him, discovering new forms of life, or watching stars supernova. Though he had plenty to keep him busy as it was, Khan was glad to still be included in what Jim and his crew were up to.

“Sweet, I’ll let Uhura know.  She can compile something for me to edit for you.  By the way, people ask after you and your family, you know,” Jim said.  “Would you be willing to record a message with an update on everything that’s going on?  Something general with information?  I know you’ve got to do that for Starfleet anyway, but maybe a little more personal than your regular reports?  Those are like mine...dull.  It’s my personal logs that I hope nobody ever gets a hold of.  I may talk a lot about you like a teenage girl.”

Something in Khan was a little slow to compute. Jim's crew made inquires about him, and his people? They were ... invested? Even after all this time, it was still difficult for him to believe in good, until it slapped him across the face. And then Jim's comment about his personal logs just threw him off even further. "Yes, Jim. I would be happy to supply your crew with an update regarding our well being. Thank you." He was touched, and still a bit bewildered. "Now-" Khan grinned slowly, "about these personal logs ... would I be amused by the way you talk about me?"

Jim’s cheeks colored a little.   “I think you’d find it hilarious for the most part.  I am not sure I want to share my brain’s ramblings even with you...though if you offer some incentive…”  He wiggled his eyebrows playfully at Khan and said, “I’m pretty much a sucker for your voice, so you can probably ‘talk’ me into anything, if you know what I mean.”

Khan hummed, his devilish smirk not yet fading. "Ah, so I do not need to hack your computer-" as he had once done, long ago. "All you need is a little incentive, hm? I am certain ... arrangements can be made." He was smiling now, pleased to see the flush of color on Jim's cheeks. "After all, I wouldn't want to embarrass you on this open channel."

“I think it’s too late to worry about that,” Jim said with his own private smile for Khan.  “However, Noonien, my dear husband, I think the rest should be on a more private setting.  And not in the presence of tiny people.”  He leaned closer to the screen and made a gurgly noise at the infant, even though he doubted she would respond at this point.  Even for an augment, she was still a newborn.  He wondered how fast she would develop, compared to a ‘normal’ human.

Khan found the non-English, non-any-known-language a bit odd, but was pleased to hear Jim refer to her as a tiny person. She was tiny. But a life, as strong and as important as any of them. She would not be treated as anything less. "I agree." He said, looking forward to teasing Jim privately. It was good for them, to adapt their ways to communicate with one another, to develop alternative ways of remaining intimate. As it was, Khan still felt the urge to lean into Jim, to nuzzle the side of his neck and breathe in his scent. But no matter how much he leaned in towards one of Jim's recordings, there was no relief from these physical habits. So the exchange of music and stories and personal pillow talk would be a good way for them to remain engaged.

Jim laughed and said, “Good, then that’s another date.  I’m looking forward to it very much.”  He looked at the infant again and said, “I wish I could send her some baby toys.”  He blinked and looked back at Khan.  “She already got some toys from her shower, right?  Rattles and stuffed animals and such?”

"What do you mean? She has been bathed." Khan nearly glared. Of course she was being well taken care of, her health and hygiene was important to everyone who handled her. "I do not understand." He said, being direct with Jim. This was the way with many of the augments, brilliant in many ways, but when addressing something new, they confronted it until they were authorities on the subject. "What is their function?"

“Oh, sorry, right, duh.  You wouldn’t have had a baby shower, most likely,” Jim said with a chuckle at himself.  “A baby shower is held before the birth, traditionally amongst the mother and her female friends.  One of the reasons is for the mother to receive gifts of baby goods, both useful items and toys.  Not to say toys aren’t useful.  They help develop basic skills and the brain.”  He knew that will be of interest to Khan.  “Plus, they make baby happy.”

"Oh." To shower with gifts. "No. We have not done that." Had they missed an important function? The birthday ... life celebration was still to come. But there had been no thought of a 'baby shower'. "She will be provided useful items, as needed. We are her family." Due to the temperament of the augments, a very utopian society could be achieved. Gifts were not given to one, over another. A mother did not receive a gift simply because she had a baby. But the community would have a cot and clothing and other goods prepared in order to take care of the new life.

But toys. This was a hugely strange concept. It was difficult enough to get Khan to indulge in fun, in games, in things that did not have an immediate purpose. "Please describe what makes a good toy."

“Oh, wow, that is not a question for me,” Jim said.  “Tell you what, I’ll confer with Bones and Nurse Chapel and get back to you.  I’m sure they’ll have a long list of toys that are good for brain development, which I hope makes you appreciate their importance.  However, let me tell you one thing, she, and all the little ones, needs a stuffed animal.  Something to hold at night, to be a presence and a friend at all times.  I had a stuffed rhino for almost all my childhood, and he helped me get through a lot of lonely and scary times.  I could tell him anything and cuddle up for warmth and comfort when I was scared.  And when the time came, I gave him to someone who needed him more...I think he still has him.”  He made a little face and then grinned a little awkwardly at Khan.  “Sometimes, I still miss Anthony.”

She needed a stuffed animal. Khan was very attentive to what Jim was telling him. And after Doctor McCoy and Nurse Chapel prepared their recommendations, Khan would want to participate first hand. "Thank you, Jim. Please inform Doctor McCoy and Nurse Chapel that I consider their report on the subject, a priority." Pikea needed toys. As did the other children that were to be born in the following months. Khan considered Jim a moment, "Have I become a replacement for your rhino? Is it tradition to give toys names?"

Jim was completely charmed by Khan’s desire to do right by the new baby and smiled at him dopily for a moment, just barely refraining from saying, “Awwwwww.”  However, the last questions shook him out of his stupor and made him laugh softly.  “I’ll let them know.  I think they’ll be excited to help.  Bones has practical experience as a dad, and Nurse Chapel specializes in Pediatrics, among other things.  You never know when it’ll come in handy.  And yes, children often name their favorite toys, which usually are stuffed animals or dolls or action figures.  Things a child will anthropomorphize, like I did my rhinoceros.”  He paused and gazed at Khan intently for a moment.  “You’re not a replacement for anyone, Noonien.  There’s never been anybody like you in my life.  And if you do fill a few of the rolls Anthony played sometimes, well, that’s really a compliment to you.”

"I would be grateful." Khan imagined that Nurse Chapel would be very interested to track the development of an augmented child, so he then suggested, "If the medical department is interested, I can send files on our newborns ... their gestation period, the health of the mother's pregnancy, rate of growth ..." Khan trailed off, wishing to be open with sharing knowledge, but also not wanting to open doors that treated them as science projects. Though at least on that front, Khan had come to trust Nurse Chapel over many of the other medical staff members. "I see. The child names the toy." Khan said, more to himself and nodded, feeling he had a better understanding now of how this worked. He, or one of the others would supply a stuffed animal, and in time Pikea would name it and assign it an identity she wished it to have.

Jim smiled softly at Khan, thinking he might know what was in Khan’s mind.  “Whatever you’re willing to share, Noonien.  And no further than our medical team, if that’s what you desire.  I wonder if the children will get sick the way babies usually do or not.  A lot of infants are prone to things like earaches.  I have no idea if your family’s children will be.”  He cooed again at Pikea.  “Hopefully, they’ll be lucky and miss out on those things.”  

“As for naming toys, yeah, that’s up to the kids, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them ended up different versions of Khan,” Jim said.  “A lot of kids give their favorite toy its own personality, too.  Though probably not for a few years, even if children as brilliant as all your family’s will be.”

"Hopefully, Pikea and the rest are born in good health that they maintain their entire lives." Khan doubted that any of them would ever suffer human illness. Any offspring the augments had would still have superior genetics, including a high immune system and tolerance to extreme environmental factors. Still, from now own, natural selection of their genes was in play, which meant that if any of the parents indeed had any small defect to them, it was possible that such things could be passed on to the child and seen more visibly in future generations.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of saying that name,” Jim said quietly.  “I still miss him sometimes or hear him in my head, usually scolding me about something.”  He shook off the slight frown and grinned again at Khan.  “Besides, pikas are really cute, just like Pikea.  Are you familiar with the Terran species?  They’re little mammals that live up at high elevations and collect all kinds of items to line their nests and eat, kind of like a pack rat.  But so much more adorable.”

"I am unfamiliar." Khan admitted, but listened to Jim explain. There was no offense in the comparison, so Khan just smiled a little. "I wish you could hold her, Jim. Tell her about her namesake. But until you see her with your own eyes, please trust that she will be told ..." Khan trailed off as Pikea squirmed again slightly. For the most part, all she did was sleep, but in those few minutes or hours a day when she was awake, her eyes would remain wide on the world around her, focused on every sight and sound.

“In no time, she’ll be scrambling around, curious about the world, and making mischief everywhere,” Jim said.  “That’s what I’ll miss seeing most.”  He gazed at the baby with smiling eyes, before looking back to Khan with the same expression.  “Have you ever thought of being a surrogate father?  Is that a possibility?”

Khan gave Pikea his thumb and pointer finger to play with, which she more or less just grabbed and worked on getting her small hands to close around. The question was strange to his ears. "No, Jim." He said gently, "I think I understand your meaning, but no. She is family enough, as will the others be, once they are born. They are the offspring of loving, bonded pairs." Khan managed to present Jim with a small smile, knowing he meant well by it.

Though if Khan were consenting, he likely would have made for a very popular choice in coupling, or being a surrogate, as Jim suggested. He was after all, a prime specimen of design and engineering, not to mention, beloved leader. But Khan was old fashioned in this way of thinking, what he had to offer genetically was not enough for him to want to bring a life into the world. He would only want such a thing with his husband. And since it was not possible, the child in his arms, and others like her would fill his need to be father.  

Jim made a bit of a disappointed face, since he knew any children of Khan’s would be adorable by their mere existence, but nodded his understanding.  “Do you get to perform marriage ceremonies for your family?” he asked, as that idea occurred to him with Khan’s comment on ‘loving, bonded pairs.’  “I wouldn’t mind seeing one of those, too.  In fact, I’d love to.”  He paused and chewed on his lower lip a moment, before succumbing to curiosity.  “Are there other pairs who are the same sex?”

"Yes, I have been asked to officiate several marriages. Though, each are different, based upon traditions each couple wishes to observe. For the next one, I shall ask for the couple's consent to document it." Khan however happy kept his gaze upon Jim, unworried by this line of conversation. "Yes Jim, there are other couples of the same sex." There was no stigma to it, which had been a very modern way of thinking three hundred years ago. A little less of an issue these days, when species was an option, not just gender. "Ikuko and Kimiko were both raised in the same facility, and have been very bonded to one another for some time. They were in fact the first to be married, here."

“So, some of these couples have wanted to be together for a long time?” Jim asked and felt pleased that this was something else freedom could offer to Khan’s family.  “That’s pretty awesome that they can be now.  And see, even though you’re not of one religious faith, your people want their unions recognized, too.  Like I want mine with you to be, too, someday.”  He twisted the ring on his finger around.  “I’ve had a request to perform a marriage, too.  My first as a Captain.  Two of my lieutenants- Angela Martine and Robert Tomlinson.  I’m pretty excited, but kind of nervous, too.  Hey, can you give me any tips?”  He leaned toward the screen, as if expecting Khan to whisper them in his ear.  

Khan nodded in agreement. His people were free to express love, to build a life of their own making, rather than follow a path instructed to them. They were free in fact, to find love outside of their own species, or free to not pair off at all, but find what made them happy. "Ah, wonderful. I wish them happiness." Khan smiled as he felt Pikea fall back asleep, with a very firm grip on his fingers. "It is an honor, of course. But they will be nervous with excitement, therefore you must be calm and let your words come to you with ease, as it will inspire confidence for them. I cannot stress enough how important it is that you show support in their choice."

“I do.  They’ve been ridiculous since they met each other.  Hopelessly lost in each other’s eyes and words when they were together, so that the rest of the world didn’t even exist around them.  The whole Ship knew they were going to tie the knot; it was just a question of when.”  Jim frowned a little at Khan’s advice.  “I’m usually best when I don’t prepare a speech in advance.  There are certain formalities that need to be observed during the ceremony, but the rest is up to me.  Maybe I can prepare a few remarks beforehand and then see what you think of them?  I’d like your experienced opinion.  But I’ll keep some of the speech open, since I’ll feel more comfortable that way.  Would you like to see a recording of my first wedding?”

"I know you are good when it comes to speaking on the spot, Jim. Preparing in advance is only meant to help you remain focused, on them. To keep the comments upon their union, and their life together, rather then get off topic with material that is not quite related, or inappropriately embarrassing to the couple. But I will happily listen to anything you have in mind. And yes, in the end, perhaps see a recording of their wedding. But you will do fine, Jim. Even with a slip up or two, it takes the burden off the couple from keeping everything perfect, or maintain an otherwise unrealistic standard."

“Chef is already planning a giant wedding cake,” Jim confided.  “I can’t wait for that.”  He smiled at Khan and added, “Thanks for the vote of confidence, too.  I appreciate it, Noonien.  I’m not really that concerned, I guess, but I always get nervous before I do something for the first time.  And this is an important day for them, so I don’t want to ruin it by falling all over myself.”  He laughed softly at the idea, even though it was a bit mortifying.  He glanced at the chronometer and frowned internally.  “Anything else to tell me, love?  Any additions to the colony itself?  I remember you saying almost all the farming and industry is well along.”

"Nothing, aside from Pikea." Khan said fondly. That was the highest valued addition to their family, more so then any building or outpost. "You have seen my reports, Jim. We have one strong settlement in the south, and another in the east, closer to the coastline. We are settling in quite well. Though sometimes I feel it would be healthy to have visitors, outsiders for my people to interact with, it may yet be too soon. So anything you can offer by means of history, or music, and other media from cultures within the Federation would be an asset."

“Do you mind if I put Uhura on that assignment?  Not that I won’t participate, but it’s the kind of things she loves and is amazing at.  She’ll come up with the best collection of music and story and everything else you can imagine.”  Jim grabbed one of his PADDs and programmed in a request for the collection from Uhura, tongue sticking out in thought.  “There.  I’ll have something for your next transmission for sure.  Not complete because Uhura and I will definitely be spending some time thinking and working on it, but a good start.”  He nodded once at Khan and then smiled, everything about his demeanor easy and affectionate.  “This has been good, Noonien.  I needed to talk to you live more than I even knew.  I know I’ll be even lonelier without you, but it’s been worth it.”

"Thank you, Captain." Khan said, using his official title when Jim was fulfilling an official request. "I look forward to what Lieutenant Uhura manages to gather for us." With a heavy sigh, Khan acknowledged that their time to speak this way was perhaps at an end, for now. "It has been good to speak with you like this, Jim. It was important to me, to share the news of Pikea to you, live. But I needed it as well. And after some time, we can have this again."

“We’ll make it happen,” Jim confirmed and blew a kiss to both Khan and Pikea.  “Take care of your family and yourself, my husband.  I’ll send a regrettably recorded message to you in a few days, with whatever news I might have by then.  Maybe even some new stardates for another call.  We’ll see what I can do by then.”  He looked at the baby again.  “She really is beautiful and amazing, Noonien.  I’m so glad to have met her.  Give her parents my warmest congratulations, too, for whatever they are worth.  And tell her stories about us, huh?”

"I shall, my husband." Khan used his free hand to touch two fingers to his own lips, then pressed them to the screen, touching the image of Jim with his kiss. "I love you, Jim. Do not forget it."

“I think about it everyday and consider myself lucky,” Jim promised and echoed the gesture.  “And I love you.  Now, I have to sign off.  Until next time.” He regrettably ended the call and stared at the blank screen for a long time after Khan’s view faded to black.


	20. Loss and Renewal

After nineteen life celebrations, five marriages, and the establishment of three major settlements, Khan's family of augments experienced their first death.

Because of it, there had been radio silence from Khan and his people for over a month. Though signals and messages were received, none were sent out. Until, at last, contact to Captain Kirk and the Enterprise was made again. The recording buzzed, then was adjusted to a dull hum in the background. "Hello, Captain Kirk. My name is Mai-li. Though we have not spoken at any great length, I am reaching out to you now." Mai-li had regular contact with the Enterprise engineers, rather then Kirk or other departments, as she, like many of the others, kept to their strengths, or areas of interests. "Please do not consider this an official report, as I am addressing you without permission. My people have not agreed upon what formal report to give at this time. So for now, this is me, Mai-li, speaking to you, the husband of Khan Noonien Singh, and therefore, my brother. This is a matter of family, speaking to family. And not an issue we wish to involve the Federation with at this time."

Mai-li took a breath, looking quite sombre, sharing a deep worry that Khan often wore. "Khan has fallen into a deep depression. He has not eaten, or spoken to any of us, for over a month. Even Pikea cannot bring him out of his state, and she- unofficially of course, is his favorite among us." Mai-li did manage a small, sad smile at this, aware of how hard the toddler had tried to engage Khan, to get him to play, to acknowledge her. "I am asking for your help, brother. As I am aware, you have helped him in this way before. You have reminded him of the good in the universe, you have given him hope, when he was otherwise too burdened with loss or anger. I believe, brother, Khan is suffering from a broken heart. And that is something you have managed to mend before. I ask that you try to do so again."

Still badly shaken by the events, Mai-li lowered her eyes as she wiped a few tears from her eyes. "The source of Khan's heartbreak is devastating to our entire community, but as our beloved leader, he has taken it quite hard." Even now, Mai-li had trouble putting it to words. "Khan was forced to kill his son, and second-in-command, Joaquin." Mai-li growled the name, forcing herself to say it, even though her voice seemed strained on the entire sentence. "Joaquin had always been aggressive. A trait required in war. A strength that had positioned him at Khan's side. But we are no longer at war. We are at peace, and happily so. However ... Joaquin began to speak in ways ..." Mai-li frowned, "Perhaps, all I should say is, he was not satisfied with the peace Khan has given us. An argument between Khan and Joaquin broke out. But when words were not enough ... the two men began to fight."

Unsure if Kirk was familiar with some of their ways, Mai-li elaborated, "It was a fight for dominance, brother. It was a challenge against Khan, seeking to seize control over our people and lead us in a new direction. One of violence." Here, the young woman clarified even further. "Had Khan succumbed and lost the battle, be assured, I would have been the next Joaquin would be required to fight. We do not want war." Mai-li stood by Khan's decision, as did the rest of their people. Peace was their future. "The battle between Khan and Joaquin was savage, and it hurt all of us to see it. And the solution was unfortunately obvious. Joaquin was unhappy with the peace Khan had given him, so he gave him what he wanted, an end to it, a bloodthirsty death, made honorable to be delivered by Khan's hands." Mai-li however just shook her head slightly, still distressed by what it had plaid out. "It broke Khan's heart to do it, brother. Please ... speak with him. We love him dearly, but it is not enough right now. He needs you."

 

*            *            *

 

The call galvanized Jim, who had been more than worried over the dead air coming from Khan, into action.  He continued to send his regular messages to Khan, expressing all his love and need for his husband along with their usual updates.  The concern for Khan he tried not to show too much, even as it gnawed away his insides.  When all his pleas for Khan to call him back went unanswered, he arranged with the Lexington and Mai-li, whom he took a liking to quickly, for a live call.  She was going to get Khan to the call if she had to drag him by the hair.

Meanwhile, Jim quietly talked with Spock and the rest of his Command crew about what he would do if Khan did not respond.  Although they had not formally married, Spock believed they could successfully use Starfleet regulations about family and married couples to allow Jim to take a shuttle, without commandeering one, back to the augment’s world, X, to see Khan and try to help him.  He might not even have to give up his position on the Enterprise, though that was much more doubtful.  But nothing mattered more than Khan’s health, if there was a way that Jim could reach him.  He forced himself to remain focused on his work, but if the call did not work, Jim knew he would no longer be giving his ship and crew the full attention they deserved and required.  So, leaving would be the only option anyway.

When the time for the live call came, Jim set-up in his quartered, dressed in casual clothes that Khan had always liked and waited for the answer from Mai-li and his husband.  He refused to acknowledge the way his heart pounded in his chest and throat, threatening to choke him with worry for his husband.  He knew how much each member of his family meant to him and Joaquin maybe most of all.  For the other man to have challenged him, forced a fight for dominance and death...he didn’t wonder that Khan had gotten depressed after that, but to have shut down so completely… he honestly wondered if even he could reach his husband.

For each recording Captain Kirk sent, Mai-li stood by Khan's side to make sure he watched each one. But when he failed to respond, time and time again, Mai-li ensured that everything from their end was up to speed so that another long distance live feed could be arranged. Without Khan's consent, since he was being unresponsive to the decisions being made for him, Mai-li set up the feed in Khan's bedroom, making sure to draw open the curtains to let some light into the room.

Khan only blinked slowly, his eyes slowly shifting from the floor to the window where a fresh breeze softly blew into his room. He had a very distant look to him, as his thoughts pulled him both far away, and deep inside himself. But wherever his mind was, it was far from paying any attention to his own well-being, as his human needs went completely ignored. And even in an augment was impressive as Khan was, it had begun to show drastically in his features.

Mai-li however treated Khan as if he were still strong as ever. Turning on the connection from her end, she sat back on the end of the bed, where she had set Khan in front of the screen as well. "Hello, Captain." She said with a nod, then reached for the screen, making one final correction to equalize the sound on their end.

“Mai-li,” Jim said with a smile at her and then turned his eyes toward his husband.  The gaunt look and haunted eyes hit him low in the belly, where it hurt most.  “Noonien,” he breathed.  “My husband, I have missed you so much.  I’m so glad the Lexington and Mai-li were able to arrange for another live conversation between us.”  His eyes moved back to Mai-li, and he asked politely, “May I have some private time with Khan, Mai-li?”

"Of course, brother." Mai-li said with a respectful bow of her head towards Jim. She then looked to Khan once more, touching her hand to his elbow as was custom between them before parting from his side.

But Khan just closed his eyes, and closed his mind off from the touch, waiting for her to leave before he managed to open them again. They did not look sharp of bright and brilliant, his eyes were drowned by wetness, by tears that no longer knew how to fall. Slowly his focus moved to the screen, pained slightly by the brightness of the monitor, and pained also by the image of Jim, which he was not entirely coherent enough to determine the reality of.

“Oh, my Noonien,” Jim said softly and reached out to lightly touch the image on the screen, wishing he was there to hold him in person.  “I am so sorry, my love.  I wish I could say more than that, do more than merely speak them.  I remember when you told me about Joaquin and what he meant to you, how close you had been for all those years.  It was the first time we really talked about your family as individuals and not just in the abstract as a group.  I could see in your eyes how much you longed to talk to him again, to see your friend awake and well.  And if you want the truth, I was a little jealous of your closeness, of all the things you’d shared that I could never be a part of.”  He waved a hand as if to dismiss his own stupidity.  “I was sorry never to meet him for more than a moment or two before we had to leave, if only because I wanted to know this man who was your friend.”  He paused a moment and looked into Khan’s face, saw the dampness of his eyes, sparkling there without relief.  “Can you talk to me, my husband, about it?  I want to be here for you, as much as I can.” He made an imploring gesture toward the other man, eyes bright with hope and worry and love.

Listening to Jim as he spoke, Khan let his eyes drop. His brain strained to make sense of this. Joaquin had been his friend, they had been close. But Joaquin had turned disloyal, they had fought to the death ... the death, on his hands, Khan could still almost smell it. "He was my friend and son, once." Khan said abruptly after a long silence. "But he died on Earth, three hundred years ago. The man I brought here did not want to be saved. He disapproved of my decision." But speaking of Joaquin like this did not sit right with Khan, as his face twisted angrily and on the verge of being sick. "Joaquin ... destroyed my trust with such ease ... he forced my hand ..." Khan dropped his head further forward, shoulders hunched. "He treated my sacrifice for him, as a mistake. He broke my heart."

Jim listened with quiet attention, unaware of a tear that slid down his right cheek during Khan’s words.  He ached for his husband, understanding the pain of having your best friend turn against you.  How well he remembered killing Gary after his friend had been taken over by a malevolent power.  But at least he had the last moment of Gary as himself, asking Jim to stop him and seeing the friendship in his eyes again.  Joaquin had just betrayed Khan.

“I can be there in less than a week,” Jim said, mind made up by the misery on Khan’s face.  “I’ll need to wrap up a few things here, but Spock and I have arranged it so I can take a leave of absence and not have to steal a shuttle to get there.  Scotty’s been working on the engines so it’ll be able to manage warp five for the duration.  But until then, please, Noonien, will you try to eat and sleep?  I’m worried about you, love.”

Khan frowned. "Do not come, Jim." As much as Khan wanted Jim there, as much as he desperately needed him, Khan was in a dark place, not feeling worth the effort. "It is a dangerous journey by shuttle, especially alone. And I would be a poor companion to you." Khan shook his head, looking back to the open window. "Tell me, Captain-" He said, needing a formal opinion, not an emotional one, "Were we worth saving? Or did I in fact make a mistake." Perhaps they should have ended it on Earth, made their last stand there like the rest, and died out forever. It certainly would have saved future human populations. Including the life of Christopher Pike.

“Don’t ask me that,” Jim said with a deep frown, “because I don’t ever want to hear you doubt that you are worth the effort.  You were worth it, all of you.  Look at your family, Noonien.  Look at all they’ve accomplished in such a short time since being awake.  Yes, Joaquin couldn’t escape the past, couldn’t put aside what had happened to allow himself a future.  But the rest of them?  Do you think they want to give up what you’ve given them?  Their homes?  Their wives and husbands?  Their children?  Pikea?  She’s a miracle, Noonien.  A miracle I fully intend to meet.”  He made a slightly choked noise and said, “I won’t ever think that my love for you is a fucking mistake, Noonien.  I don’t think I could have learned what it meant to be in love if not for you. And I’m not giving that up!  I’ll risk the danger, losing the Enterprise, everything else to be there for you when you need me.  That’s what love is, too."

Khan finally managed to lock eyes with Jim, his words grounding him. "Jim-" he forced a pained breath, "I need you." He admitted at last. "I do not know how to move on from this." Which could indeed turn into a problem, as it could turn him into Joaquin, unable to move forward. But he did not want to be stuck in this moment. He wanted to see what Jim saw, he wanted to enjoy his family again, to be reminded of their love and not fear the day when he would have to destroy another of them.

“And I’m here for you, Noonien, however you need me to be,” Jim assured him in calmer tones.  “I’m all packed and the shuttle is ready.  I can leave in about twelve hours, after some paperwork and a bit of sleep.  I’ll call you everyday and leave my comm open so that you can check in on me if you want.  You’ll get over this, Noonien.  It’s not wrong to mourn the loss of someone who meant so much to you, but you’re strong, you’ll find your way.  And I and the rest of your family will help you.”  He smiled at his husband and waved the hand with the ring on it at him.  “In sickness and in health.”

"Thank you, Jim." Khan finally managed to cry, tears of relief draining down the side of his face. This was a sort of sickness, wasn't it? He had not expected Jim to ever see him like this, to be so broken. It was an amazing thing to know, that even like this, Jim could still love him. And instead of leaving him to fend for himself, Jim was willing to drop everything to stand by his side, to show his love and support that Khan desperately needed right now. "I will monitor your progress." It was a good sign, as it meant Khan would do more then just lay in his bed in silence day after day.

“I could set up some sort of a beacon you could read, too, if you wanted,” Jim said, relieved to see both the tears and the attention to something other than his grief.  It was worth giving up his captaincy for.  He indulged in the stray notion that he should have stayed with Khan from the beginning, but no, at the time, they both made the right decisions.  “Do you want to talk for awhile longer, or shall I sign off and prepare to leave?  Whatever you want, Noonien.”

"I am not much use for conversation right now." And he would be wasting Jim's time if they simply sat there in silence. But it was a comfort to Khan even so. "It will be good to see you, Jim." Having Jim around would help center Khan, give his mind some peace and balance. And maybe put his mind to rest. To feel safe. And to see once more, that he was loved, not just by Jim, but the rest of his people as well. Disappointing one, did not mean he had failed all of them.

“Then I’m on my way, Noonien,” Jim said and blew him a kiss.  “I love you, my husband.  I’ll see you soon.”  And he was off, mind already on the things he needed to get done before he can leave his Gray Lady, maybe for good.

 

*            *            *

 

Jim hated saying goodbye and this time was no different.  True, for once, he made his decision fully aware of the consequences, but that didn’t really help him when he had to face down his crew and tell them he was leaving.  He hugged a lot of crewmates and shook a lot of hands, thanking them for allowing him the privilege of being their captain.  Technically, he was only taking a leave of absence from his post, but returning to the Enterprise would not be easy.  And the chances of Starfleet forgiving him for his decision were even slimmer.  Not without an advocate among the admirals after they heard he had done it for the sake of Khan.  His days as a captain might well over.  Maybe even his time in Starfleet.  

But none of that mattered as he pulled out of the Enterprise’s shuttlebay and listened to Uhura bid him fair speed.  He wished them all the best as well, refusing to look back as the Enterprise continued on her five-year journey.  And oh, it would hurt when Jim decided to examine it later, but for now, all that mattered was getting to Khan and taking as good a care of him as he could.  

As promised, he called Khan everyday and spoke to him of the journey, how glad he was to be coming to see him, asked how Khan felt and other more trivial matters.  He was glad to receive replies to his messages, which indicated that his husband was paying attention enough at least to care about his coming.  He also sent messages to the Enterprise to let them know he was well, just short notes on his progress.  They acknowledged, but for the moment, he had asked them to otherwise keep radio silence.  It was for the best.  He had to look forward to caring for Noonien.  That was what mattered now.

On the day Jim was due to arrive, Khan left his home and managed to make it out to the landing site on his own. Many of the other augments were in fact quite excited about this visit. For one, it managed to bring some life back to Khan, so he recovery was promising. But also, they were looking forward to embracing him a little more openly then they had when they had first met on the planet. Some time had passed since then, and other then regular correspondence with the Enterprise, they had learned that Kirk was family, that Khan had let go. For the other augments, they acknowledged the loss of one brother, but were pleased to be gaining another. And yet even with that excitement, they knew to give Khan distance for a time, understanding that this reunion with Kirk was very important to him.

Sitting in a grass field, Khan kept his eyes on the sky. He had a flicker of hope today. Soon, Jim would be in his arms again. If not ... he would truly be crushed beyond repair.

With a little guidance from the ground, Jim piloted the shuttlecraft to the landing site, which had been built specifically for the purpose.  He landed easily and impatiently left his belongs behind for the moment, as he opened the hatch and exited from the ship.  Pausing a second to get his bearings, he spied Khan and ran toward him, throwing his arms around him the moment he came in range.  “Noonien,” he breathed into a warm body, holding him as tightly as possible as much because he needed it as he thought Khan might.  “My husband.  I’ve missed you so much.”

"Jim." And there it was, wonderful relief. Khan pressed his face into Jim's neck, taking in his scent with a gasp. "Husband." He said, arms wrapped around him as tight as he could manage at this time. His heart felt as if it were pounding its way out of his chest. This was what he needed. Life. The love of his life. And while Khan had imagined many times over how he would take Jim back into his arms, kiss him and make love to him on the spot, those things were not on his mind at the moment. Until recently, Khan had barely the desire to get out of bed, so the desire for sex was still a long ways off. For now, it was enough that he wanted human companionship. "Jim-" Khan said again, palming Jim on the side the face, hesitant to look him in the eye to ensure that he was in fact here. "I have missed you."

Jim, too, had planned and daydreamed about his return to his lover and husband, at the end of a triumphant five year mission aboard the Enterprise, but those ideas, too, went to the wayside for the reality of the moment.  He pressed into the hand on his face, noticing that his husband’s eyes refused to meet his for the moment, and then turned to kiss the palm gently.  That was the first of a series of soft kisses, as he leaned in to tenderly anoint Khan’s beloved face with his lips, murmuring words of adoration as he went, whatever happened to be in his mind in the instant.  His hands explored the curves of Khan’s strong frame, which was nonetheless a bit thinner than when they parted, weight lost from a form that had little to spare.  “Noonien,” he whispered again, before kissing his softly on the mouth to finish his circuit.  “I’m here.  For as long as you need me to be.”

"... I am so grateful that you came ..." Khan said, surrendering to the touches and kisses, trusting that Jim knew how to care for him, that he was in fact still worth loving, despite his flaws. "Jim-" Khan sighed his name happily, nuzzling their faces together, before offering a few light, almost shy kisses. This lack of confidence was not like the great Khan Noonien Singh at all. But his mind was in pieces, and right now he was trying to rediscover what was still right in the world. "Thank you."

Jim pressed their foreheads together and caressed the sides of Khan’s face, a little shaken by his passivity, but not showing it in his demeanor.  “Shall I go back and collect my stuff, so we can put it in your house?  I confess, I’ve missed your bed and pool, along with you.”  He smiled at Khan, hoping to see a similar expression on his face.  “And then we can do whatever you like.  Curl up together on the bed or the sofa.  Stroll through your colony or around the area, so you can show me your home.  Whatever you want, Noonien.  I just want to be with you.”  He kissed him again, a little deeper this time, but still gently and with tenderness rather than lust.

Slowly Khan reached down to take Jim by the hand and gave their fingers a slow squeeze. "Together." Even for something as simple as getting Jim's luggage, Khan did not want his friend and lover to leave his side. "I want you to feel settled and comfortable here, Jim-" For as long as Jim was to stay, Khan did not have to courage to ask how long that would be. Not seconds after just getting his husband back into his arms again. "But the others are eager to see you, especially Pikea ... and I have ignored them for too long."

“Yeah, together,” Jim agreed and walked with Khan back to the shuttle to retrieve his things.  He’d brought back his most important personal items, few as they were, along with his general luggage, thinking he may be staying for the duration.  “Let me just go inside and fetch everything.  We can take them together to the house and then I’ll say hello to everyone.  I can’t wait to meet Pikea.”  He smiled at Khan and kissed him again before hopping inside the shuttle for a brief moment, emerging with his hands full.  “Here we are.”

Something finally kicked in for Khan, and he took the larger of the bags from Jim. Freeing up his hand to hold it again, Khan began to walk them back to the village built into the slope at the base of the nearby mountain range. "There were many times I wished you were with me again, Jim. Counting the days until your mission was over. But I was willing to wait ... to be reunited on our own terms." Khan frowned, then glanced to Jim, "I am sorry I took you away from your people ... that was not my intention. But Mai-li was right to ask for your help ... the events with Joaquin have ... worn me down." And that was putting it delicately. "This is a struggle I am having difficulty facing alone."  

“I want to be here for you, Noonien, if you need me,” Jim assured him softly and lightly squeezed his hand.  “I was more than worried when I stopped hearing from you, but once Mai-li explained, I understood.  Losing any friend is a terrible thing, but the way you lost him…”  He shook his head, face both sad and grim.  “Joaquin was the one in the wrong.  I look over what you’ve built here and remember all your words about people marrying and having children, and it’s obvious that he was wrong.  You’re making your own life here, a life of peace.  He didn’t have the right to try and rip that away from everyone else because of his own disgruntlement.”  He leaned against Khan a little, a comforting push of his body.  “I know that may not help right now, but you did the only thing you could for your family.  The right thing.  Even though it hurt you.”

Somewhere inside Khan knew this. Otherwise he would have let Joaquin win, he would have let his second, assume command and take his people in another direction. But instead, Khan had fought hard to protect the peaceful life they had here. And two augments in fierce battle was no simple thing. "I thought he had more respect for me, then that." Khan admitted, still hurt by this more than any fighting blow that had been delivered that day.

“Yeah.  I can’t pretend to understand what was going on in his heart and mind,” Jim said.  “I wish I could answer you.  Sometimes, people do things that are inexplicable to everyone else, for buried reasons of their own or reasons they don’t even themselves understand.”  He tangled their fingers more comfortably and squeezed gently again.  “I hate that he hurt you.  You didn’t deserve it.  You’ve been an amazing leader for your people...suffered for their good more than enough.”   

"I do not tend to doubt myself ... but it has left me ... shaken." Khan sighed, needing to say these things, and thankful for Jim, willing to listen to him as his friend and as a man who was also the figurehead of a large group of people. "I do not want to see the day, when others turn on me ..." All Khan was really asking for was to be at peace with the decision he had made for his people, instead of be haunted by it. But apparently that was too much to ask. The weight of his decisions would always have to be crushing down on him without relief, if he was to remain their leader. And that was another path that picked at him night and day. Perhaps a new world, required new leadership.

“I understand,” Jim says with complete honesty, thinking of the times Spock or Pike had questioned his decisions and how badly he had reacted.  Especially the mission to Niburu.  He still smarted from that sometimes, if he allowed himself to dwell on it.  “But I don’t think that’s very likely, if you’ll pardon me for making predictions about your people, based on how they’ve drawn the wagons around you now, Noonien.  They care for you.  That’s obvious.”  He leaned into him.  “I care for you, too.  More than care for you.”

Yes, yes maybe Jim was right. Maybe it was as obvious as Jim coming all this way to help rescue Khan from himself, but he just wasn't seeing it. Jim saw it though, and Khan trusted him, he trusted Jim to see the right path while Khan still felt shaken and unbalanced. But this felt familiar and right, having Jim lean against him. "I know you do Jim ... you are very good to me."

As they entered into the settlement, many of Khan's people came to their doors or stopped their work to watch Khan and Jim walk down the main pathway. They were curious about Kirk, and clearly hoped that he had the tools to fix Khan in a way the rest of them did not. But they seemed hesitant to approach. Giving the two men space and privacy. All except Pikea, who did not understand such reserved social traditions. She did not wait patiently at the door with her parents, but darted out towards Khan and the man she had seen in several recordings. Jim Kirk, Captain of the Enterprise.

Jim noticed a small figure rush out from one of the nearby dwellings and grinned at the sight of her, setting down his luggage and kneeling, though he kept a hand linked with Khan’s.  He opened up his other arm and said, “Pikea!  I’d know you anywhere!  You're so big now!  How did that happen?”

Khan knelt down as well, a stress-free breath finally escaping his lungs. Jim looked so thrilled to see her, and Khan had waited a long time to see this. Pikea bravely threw herself into the arms of Jim Kirk. A stranger, and yet, family. "Kirk! Kirk! That's Kirk!" She said, eyes bright as she finally got a chance to examine the man up close. Her small hands pressed firmly on his shoulders, then up the side of his face, curious about how Jim was designed. He was slightly different. Without inhibitions, her thumb traced over the top of his eyebrow as she looked him right in the eyes. "Hello."

Jim laughed at the greeting and hugged the little girl, allowing her exploration with amusement and patience.  “Yes, that’s me.  Please call me Jim, though.  Jim.  Maybe even Uncle Jim, if your parents and Khan don’t mind.”  He talked to Pikea as he would to an older child, though he knew he was guilty of some baby talk, if only because he loved interacting with kids.  He glanced at Khan and said, “She’s every bit as amazing as I imagined.  And beautiful.”  He turned back to Pikea and said, “You’re going to break a lot of hearts when you grow up.”

Pikea however was suddenly quite worried by this comment. She leaned in against Jim and placed both hands on his shoulder as she whispered to one ear. "Grandfather has a broken heart. I do not want that." She said in all seriousness. She slunk from Jim's embrace and turned her attention to Khan, half crawling into his arms to be held the way she liked. "Is your heart still sad?" She asked.

"Yes, Pikea." Khan said, though at least seemed willing to hold her and speak with her. "My heart is still very sad ... but Jim is here to help me mend."

Jim ‘awwwed’ internally at the way ‘grandfather’ Khan scooped up the little girl and held her tightly.  He nodded once at Khan’s words and said, “Uncle Jim is here especially to make sure that grandpa Khan’s heart is all well and good as soon as possible.  But I think you can help me, Pikea.  I can tell that he loves you very much, as well.”  He moved over to kiss Khan’s hand as tenderly as any gentleman in an old Victorian romance novel.  “Don’t you, grandfather?”

Pikea liked the idea of being able to help and gave an exaggerated nod. Though as Jim kissed Khan on the hand, she seemed to slip into some sort of shy giggle, tucking her head against Khan's shoulder and blushing. Generally being reserved with expressing themselves publicly, the augments were sensitive and conscious of such social gestures. With all eyes on the couple, a few other shy smiles broke out as the kiss was well received by the observing community.

"Yes-" Khan said gently, kissing the top of her head, "I love Pikea very much." He had loved Joaquin too. He loved all his people. But he especially loved the children. The new lives his people had created. But most of all, he was in love with Jim Kirk, even at this stage in his depression. Jim would always be the brave young Captain, diving into the unknown, willing to move forward, rather than be stunted by the past.

Jim’s smile could have lit a dark night, and he said, “Good, I’m glad we’re all agreed on that point.”  He glanced toward Pikea’s parents and then back to Khan and the little girl.  “Do you think Pikea’s parents would mind if she led the way to your house, Khan?  I can’t think of a nicer guide...outside of you, of course.  If she wants to be our leader.  Would you like that, Pikea?” he asked the blushing child, thinking she was even more adorable with her cheeks a deep pink.

"Yes!" Pikea dropped out of Khan's arms and then immediately grabbed Jim by the hand. "I'll show you!"

Slowly, Khan stood again and exchanged a brief look of consent with Pikea's parents. Everyone trusted one another with their children, so it was not an issue. And aside form that , Khan was a favorite choice for guardian even so. Khan took up Jim's luggage again, then touched his back lightly, wanting to keep contact with him as the walked on. It was only a few minutes away, but Pikea wanted to point out everything, from where others lived to where she once found a yellow beetle.  

Jim made all the proper exclamations at Pikea’s proud pronouncements as she led them, slowly along.  He threw a huge smile back at Khan and mouthed a quick ‘Sorry’ for having lost hold of him.  But Pikea’s enthusiasm was not to be denied, nor could it have been by Jim, since she was a breath of happiness that he felt Khan needed (and he certainly didn’t object to, either).  when they finally made it to Khan’s house, he knelt again and said, “Thank you, Pikea, for acting as our guide.  I hope we can talk and play more later.  But right now, I need to take care of your grandfather for awhile, all right?”

Pikea squirmed happily at this praise. "I like you, Uncle Jim." She said, abruptly hugging his leg. Though as soon as she let go, she hugged Khan's leg too, humming happily as her grandfather pet the back of her head. Khan had ignored her since his heart became sad, but Uncle Jim seemed to have changed him already. Satisfied that Khan would be better soon, she then dashed off like the little wild thing she was, left the two men alone to their privacy.

Khan let his gaze linger on her as she headed back down the hill, then turned his attention to Jim with a sigh. "Thank you." He had needed that. To see her joy and fearlessness. That was the future.

Jim stepped into Khan to press a kiss to his mouth, smiling the whole time.  “Thank you for welcoming me here, Noonien.  If she’s any indication, you have everything to be proud of in the community you’re building.  And I’m glad to be a part of it in any way.”  He looked around them for another moment and then asked, “Shall we go inside and take a load off our feet?  I wouldn’t object to some quality time with my husband.”

"Yes, Jim." As much as the community wanted to see Khan well, and wanted to interact with Jim, now was not the time. "I need you to myself right now." He said, letting his lips brush the side of Jim's face, before he gave a soft kiss. After letting them in, Khan set Jim's things down, wishing instead to have Jim in his arms instead. "Will you lay with me on the couch by the window and watch the day pass?"

“Sounds perfect,” Jim said.  “Let me just get rid of these boots and socks.  No reason to keep my feet crunched into these things at home.”  He toed them off and set them carefully at the door, before fully entering.  He looked around, noting what the differences in Khan’s residence, as well as what had remained the same.  And then he reached for his husband and said, “You’ve really made this place a home, Noonien.  It’s amazing.”  He headed for the couch, though he paused at the edge, waiting to let Khan settle in first or arrange them both as he pleased.

The front room remained at a pleasantly steady temperature, cool under the stone and rock of the mountain, but warm with sunlight. The rooms were an unobtrusive balance between technology and nature. Indoor plants climbed walls, keeping the indoor air fresh, while the geothermal powered lights softly hummed, until Khan turned them off. No lights, other then the sunlight coming in the large, wall sized window that looked down one slope of this side of the mountain. "I have settled in, yes." But was it home? He had never thought of it as a home, until Jim mentioned it. And that was perhaps a problem. This was his home now, why didn't he think of it as such? Why did he still worry that they would be uprooted at any moment, why was it so hard to be happy ...?

Stripping himself of several of his layers, Khan then stretched out on the couch in an undershirt and pants. "Please-" Khan said, resting on his side with his back supported by the couch, inviting Jim into his arms to join him.

Following Khan’s lead, Jim removed his outer tunic and set it aside, leaving only the black undershirt remaining.  He stretched himself tall for a moment and then settled on to the couch, curling naturally into Khan’s body.  With a few wiggles, he located the most comfortable location and settled into place, knowing his husband had no difficulty supporting his weight, even in a less than perfect state.  Shutting his eyes, he basked in being with Khan again, warm and close and real.  “Noonien,” he breathed out on a contented sigh.  “I’ve dreamed of this so many times, that it’s almost impossible to believe it’s real.” He tilted up his head, eyes opening to look at his husband.  “Thought I do wish it were under better circumstances, I can’t be sad to be with you again. I’ve missed you more than it should be possible to miss anyone.”

Hooking one arm around Jim's back, Khan held him close as the sunlight poured over their bodies. Khan understood Jim, this seemed unreal. They were reunited. Khan pressed his free hand to the side of Jim's face, thumbing over his jaw, back to just behind his ear where he held and supported the back of his neck. "I know my mood does not reflect it ... but I am very happy to see you, my husband." He said, then pressed their foreheads together. Silent for a moment, Khan let it sink into his senses. Jim was back in his arms, Jim still loved him. Speaking to one another over great distances had been difficult some days, but their union was still strong, they were picking up from where they had left off. "I prefer you at my side." He said, feeling better for having his friend and lover with him now. "I prefer-" he amended, "a life at your side."

“I don’t feel unwelcomed, Noonien,” Jim assured him and kissed his nose affectionately.  “And I’m here, by your side again, for as long as you want me to be.  I promise.”  He tilted his head into the strong hand that supported it, trust and love in the gesture.  He’d made his choice when he’d returned to the man who loved and needed him.  There were many roles he could play in the new colony Khan and his family were building.  It would be different from the life he’d imagined upon entering Starfleet, but not one he could ever regret.  Not when it had brought him Noonien.

“I like this plan of just sitting here all day with you and allowing ourselves to just exist for awhile,” Jim said.  “And whenever you’re ready to tell me everything that happened, or even if you’re never ready, I’ll be here for you.”  

"Thank you, Jim." Tucking their faces together, Khan took the time to savour this time together. Pushing away the distressed state of his brain and his heart, choosing instead to focus on the man before him. Finally, his body was finding rest, no longer letting the stress of recent events overwhelm him. He was calmer now, in Jim's arms. With peaceful thoughts. They stayed like this all afternoon, not speaking much. Sometimes Khan would sigh heavily, letting go of a particularly upsetting thought, or whisper how he loved Jim, how he missed him and was thankful for his company. Even though these things were obvious, it still helped to be said.

After a time, Khan felt good enough to press a few affectionate kisses. Even in his sadness, Khan did love Jim, and did not want him to forget it. "This is what I needed." He said quietly, feeling that Jim would not abandon him in his time of grief.

“Whenever you need it,” Jim pledged quietly and returned the soft kisses with his own, painting love on Khan’s face.  He found resting in Khan’s arms easier than he often found being still.  His hands spent a good deal of time rubbing comforting circles on Khan’s back and sides, trying to help his body relax as much as possible.  It was a great privilege to feel those strong muscles slowly ease under his hands, and Jim redoubled his efforts until Khan felt at ease against and beneath him.  “Shall I make something for dinner?” he asked, as his stomach made a little grumble.

Under different circumstances, Khan would have arranged a feast and celebration for Jim, visiting and eating with the entire community. But his mind had been far from such things. In his private life, food had been entirely forgotten since the fight and death of Joaquin. However, with Jim reminding him of its importance, Khan gave a slight nod. It felt strange not to be the one who took care of Jim, who prepared him food, and met his needs. Something inside of him was twisted up, confused and torn between what he was supposed to be feeling, and what he was actually experiencing. This depression after all was not in his design. Internally, his body was meant to adapt and move past such human faults. Grief on the battlefield was dangerous and debilitating, augments were meant to move past such things quickly. But Khan had not moved past this death.

"You wish to cook?" Perhaps seeing Jim go through the motions of preparing a meal would help Khan feel motivated to do the same.

“I’m actually pretty decent at it,” Jim said.  “I may have to ask you what a few of your foods are, just to make sure I don’t mix things that mix badly.  Shall I go look at what you have in the house?”  He waited for some sign that his husband was interested in the idea, not wanting to move unless he was sure it wouldn’t disturb him.  He was more than willing to go hungry for a little.  “Maybe you can show me what you’ve got and listen to my suggestions for dinner.  If you like.”  He traced Khan’s features with a careful hand, seeing the upset there.

"Yes- we can go to the kitchen." Khan closed his eyes lightly, leaning into the touch. "I believe Mai-li has attempted to keep the cold storage moderately stocked." As in the beginning, Khan had let some things spoil and had not bothered to replace them. "We have managed to grow some Earth based foods ... asparagus and spinach, as well as two types of rice ... these may seem like small things, but they have proven to be comfort foods for many of us."

“Good,” Jim said and kissed his mouth briefly, before standing and gently pulling Khan after him.  He walked to the kitchen and began to explore the available foods, keeping hold of Khan’s hand.  “Oh, this looks awesome,” he says, finding a loaf of fresh bread.  “Do you have a baker?”  He set it aside for the moment and asked, “Do you have any of the rice?  I could make us a vegetable stir-fry, if that interests you?  Do you have something like soy sauce?”  He picked up a strange looking orange squash and asked, “Do you know if this is Jim safe?”

"Yes- perhaps tomorrow I will show you the village now that we've settled and established local industry. We have a bakery, for bread and pastry and pasta ... beekeepers and brewers, several textile workers ... here-" Khan pulled a jar out of the cold storage, which was a medium sized walk in closet for goods that needed to remain lightly chilled. "This is a sort of plum sauce ..." He said, placing it on the counter for Jim to sample or decide if he wanted to use or not. "The squash is safe for you to consume ... in fact, I believe everything here is still among the Jim-approved food list from Doctor McCoy."

“You are the best husband, Noonien,” Jim says and walks in to look around, after testing the plum sauce and making an approving noise.  “Mmm, I can definitely make use of this.  Do you have any favorites in here?”  He selected something that resembled snap peas, a couple of vegetables he didn’t know at all and some water chestnuts.  “Do you have anything like bamboo?  I know that may seem weird, but I always did like it.”  He carried everything to the counter, arms full.  “I may have overdone it, but leftovers are good.  Shall we eat in here or in the other room?”  

"We do have a type of bamboo here, but it is refined and made into fabric, it is not for eating." Khan explained, watching Jim fondly. Passing behind Jim, touching a hand to his back, Khan reached overhead for a skillet and pulled it down for Jim to use. Lightly kissing the back of Jim's neck, he then sat on a nearby stool, leaning slightly on the counter. Tonight, he would watch Jim, observe life going on. In a day or two he might even offer to help. And then a few days after that, be ready to cook and care for Jim instead. But this was a process, and Khan wasn't there yet.

Jim put on the rice first, since he’d always had the most difficulty steaming it properly, and then began chopping vegetables.  “I used to cook for myself all the time, since my mother was in space, my brother ran away and my step-father couldn’t boil water without setting the building on fire.  Got a bit out of the knack in Starfleet, but it’s nice to have truly fresh vegetables again.”  Despite his words, he was neatly making perfect slices out of the vegetables and sorting them.  “I might have been what was once called a short order cook for awhile during my wilder days, too.  Though what I made there mostly was hamburgers.  I may miss those, even though I get why meat’s a bad idea.”  He continued to chat as he fried up the vegetables with the plum sauce, telling Khan a bit more about his last gig as a ‘short order’ cook and some of the customers in the joint where he worked.

Khan listened to Jim tell his stories, comforted by them as he had been by his recordings. But this time, Jim was more than just a voice on a recording light-years away. He was actually here with him, filling the empty and cold places in Khan with his energy. Khan asked questions or made small comments as Jim spoke, tough mostly just watched his hands at work. "I have missed our meals together. Even though I enjoyed our dinner dates ... this is, preferable, obviously."

“Those were good, though, a way to share even when we were far apart,” Jim said, “but yes, this is better.”  He scooped a little bit of his cooking out of the pan to offer a taste to Khan.  “See what you think,” he said, while I slice some bread.  “Do you have anything approximating butter?  Or something else we can spread on the slices?  Or is that sacrilegious?  I know some breads stand on their own without need for any extras.”  He placed the bread on a serving plate.  “And what to drink?”

Khan hesitated before accepting the spoon to taste what Jim had cooked. The idea of consuming something still vaguely repulsed him, but he gave it a try and was not disappointed by it. Jim had done well to balance the flavours, and it was warm and pleasant against the tongue. "You've done well, Jim." Khan said, placing the spoon beside the skillet again as he stood, going to the cold storage again. "We have milk and butter based from a Jim-friendly nut ... it's cheese, I think, many of us still miss ... but Ravi is working on developing a synthetic substitute. Though, there has been some talk about asking the Federation for goats, so that we can make cheese and milk with ease. But it is not an urgent matter."

Setting out the dish of butter, Khan then retrieved a pitcher of juice that he felt would compliment the meal. Though he still had the bottle of wine Jim had brought on their day of parting, now was not the time for it. Khan had not wanted to waste it on good-byes, or now, in his time of mourning. It would be shared under better circumstances, or not at all.

Jim found the rice not quite perfect, but neither as dry, nor as wet, as his attempts sometimes turned out, and served the vegetables over a heap of it for both of them.  He carried the plates to the table and set them out, before taking a seat.  “There we are.”  Looking across at Khan, he said, “First meal with my husband on my return home.  And not a bad meal, if I do brag so myself.”  He flashed a sweet smile at Noonien and dug in, hoping to lead Khan’s appetite by example.  “I’d love a tour of the colony when you’re ready.  I’m allergic as Hell to bees, but the idea of some fresh honey to go with this bread is too delicious to pass up.  And I want to meet all the little ones.  They need to meet their Uncle Jim.  I have to admit, I found it amusing when Pikea called you grandfather.”  His smiled widened into something more amused, but still loving.

Khan look up at Jim across the table, picking up on one phrase in particular. "You consider this home?" Did that mean Jim would always come back? Or that he wanted to stay? It was not something the to ever spoke about. Of all the things they discussed or planned, deciding upon a home, together, had not been mentioned before. Perhaps now was the time. Managing a few small bites, Khan at least seemed pleased by the mention of Pikea and the other children. "Those that can speak, all call me grandfather. It makes me sound old, perhaps ... but there is honor in the title, I think."

Jim looked over the kitchen and the adjoining room and then back at Khan, consideration in his expression.  “I should rather say you are my home, in the same way the Enterprise is also my home.  Both make me happy.”  He reached out for one of Khan’s hands across the table, wanting to tangle their fingers.  “But yes, I think I could call this place home.  It’s your home, isn’t it?”  

“And yes, grandfather is an honorable title, and I suppose, at over three hundred years, you’re old enough.  You just don’t naturally fit the image of a grandfather I have in my head.  You’re far too sexy for one thing.”  

Khan met Jim halfway, holding his hand. "I consider this planet to be the home of my people ... but I have not called this place home in my everyday thinking, it has felt ... incomplete." He said, bowing his head forward and kissed Jim on the knuckle of his hand. "Some days I am still homesick for Earth, I think the others are too, but it is only in passing, and continues to fade in time the more we grow and settle here."

"And while my people are family to me ... you are where I feel at home, Jim. It is with you, that I am most myself." Khan slowly thumbed over Jim's hand. Life on the Enterprise had been difficult for Khan at first, for many reasons. But in the end, he had come to enjoy his role, lover, advisor, engineer, scientist, friend. And if it had not been for his people and worrying about their wellbeing and safety, Khan could have found a home with Jim on the Enterprise.

“We are both home to each other,” Jim said tenderly and rubbed his thumb over the knuckles of Khan’s hand.  “Which means we can be happy wherever we go together.  Or here, if that’s what we decide.  I don’t think I can leave you again.  I don’t want to anyway.”  He mimicked the kiss Khan gave to his hand, though he brushed his lips over each knuckle in turn.  “So, now I can be part of your family, right?”  He dug back into the dinner, eating as well as he ever did.  He definitely felt comfortable in his husband’s presence, which was why he could eat without any of his normal hiccups.  

"You are very much family, Jim." Khan said, giving a gentle squeeze of their fingers. "Mai-li calls you brother, as I understand it. As I imagine the others will, once you are able to spend more time with them. And though Pikea calls you uncle, I think her assessment of you is much more telling then the title. She could sense your difference, but seemed to embrace you as family anyway." Khan had been concerned that she would immediately point out that Jim was not like the rest of them, which might have made for an awkward conversation. But she seemed to accept Jim with ease, not discriminating against him being human, rather then augmented like the rest. "If you want it, of course, my husband. I know you will always have the crew of the Enterprise. But we can be your family, too."

“You’ve been my family for some years now,” Jim observed softly and squeezed the fingers in his tenderly, “but I’ll be honored if they do fully accept me.”  He paused and narrowed his eyes a little.  “Pikea can tell I’m not like you?  How?  Am I offensive to the smell or something?”  It was disconcerting to know that at a child could detect that he was not like the rest of the group.  Still, the important thing is that she accepted him anyway.  He would have been devastated if the little girl had rejected him for not being augmented.  “Not that it matters, since she did call me uncle and take me as I am.  I know I’m not as cool as her grandfather, but I’ll try to live up to your example.”

"No, you do not smell-" Khan managed a soft chuckle at this. "That is to say, you do not smell badly ... I enjoy your scent, as you know. But I could see in the way she was examining you, she could tell you were different. Do not be offended by it, she is curious ... we are working to teach this generation the value of all species. We are attempting to dismiss our conditioning, for the sake of our children." While yes, augments were still technically better in many areas, it did not mean they needed to behave in such a way that made them arrogant in their superiority.

Jim grinned at Khan, pleased at having made him laugh, even such a small one.  “I’m glad. I still smell like family, like you?” he asked hopefully.  “Will you explain to the children what makes me different?  Or what makes your family different, whichever way you prefer to tell?  I’d like to hear the whole story, too, as you tell them, as you tell me.  Maybe more than you would tell them, if you want.  But only if and when you’re ready for that,” Jim said and rubbed his thumb over Khan’s knuckles.  “I hope that’s not a lot to throw at you.”  

"Yes, I think that would be good. Yes, I can do that." Khan said with a nod to himself. "In three days is the full moon, which is generally spent enjoying a communal meal and telling stories to one another. Some about our past, some entirely fictional ... I will use it as an opportunity to tell our story." It was an important story to tell, and with Jim there, it would help prove just how strong their union was, despite the violent origins.

Jim beamed at Khan and clearly showed his pleasure at Khan’s willingness not only to share his story, but also for feeling well enough to do so.  “I’d like that.  And I’m happy to share stories, too, if there’s an interest in hearing any of them.”  He stored about some questions for later about the full moon events, hoping that later a few ghost stories might not be out of the question.  And maybe smores.

“After dinner, maybe we can go out on the back porch and enjoy the evening?  It looks pretty awesome outside.  And the moon ought to be pretty nice, if it’s full in a few days,” he said.  “I always love to see the stars, too.  Always have.”

"You have chosen a good profession, then. Being able to travel the stars and observe them up close." Khan attempted to eat again, managing a little more now. "Here you will see them the old fashioned way. But the constellations are marvellous, and soothing if you spend the time watching them shift over the night's sky. We've begun to invent stories for many of them ... perhaps you would be willing to imagine a few up as well."

“I used to stargaze a lot from Earth,” Jim said.  “I’d like to do that here, too.  And you can tell me the stories for the stars and which ones still need their own.”  He watched Khan eat with unconcealed pleasure.  “It’s nice to see someone else eat and enjoy my cooking.  That’s one thing about cooking only for yourself, it’s a little lonely.  It reminds you that there’s nobody there to share the effort with.  Nobody to praise your cooking, if only by eating it all.  You are going to eat it all, right?” he asked, eyes wide. He could play the big puppydog eyes if he wanted...in fact, he was a master at it.

"I am enjoying your cooking, Jim." Khan wanted to assure, that was not the problem. "I will attempt to finish this-" He said, still being slow about it. "But I agree, it can be lonely to cook and eat on your own." Eating was such a strange and necessary chore to life, but at least with the right combination of ingredients and the right company, it could be worth the time and effort.

“Aw, Noonien,” Jim murmured and rubbed his fingers along Khan’s tenderly.  “You don’t have to finish it, if you don’t really feel up to eating it all.”  He looked at the stir-fry and asked, “Say, do you think anyone has made this exact dish before?  Cause, it needs a name if nobody has.”  He flashed his boyish, hopeful smile at Khan.  “Like the Singh fry or something.”  

"You wish to name a meal after me?" Khan asked, somewhat bewildered by Jim. But in a way it was a nice feeling, pleasantly confused, just like old times. Keeping their hands joined, Khan set down his fork so that he could sip his glass of juice, careful not to consume too much, too quickly.

“Well, if you don’t mind,” Jim said.  “Or we could call it something else, if you wanted.  I should write all the ingredients down so we can share it with everyone else, in case they want to try it out.  And the name will go with it.  So everyone knows what it means when someone says, ‘I’m making Singh fry tonight.’  Yeah?”  He tried the fruit juice, too, sipping cautiously and then smiling at the flavor.  “Like strawberries...what I remember of them anyway.  Those I’m allergic to.  Sadly.  You know how many things taste good with strawberries?”  He sipped the beverage again happily.

Khan as still unconvinced about naming a stir fry dish after him, but said nothing against it since Jim seemed to pleased with his own cleverness. "Strawberries are good with many things. Cake. Ice cream. Waffles. Chocolate. Salad. Other strawberries." Khan managed a little smile. "I am pleased that this planet has proven to support foods you can enjoy, Jim. Perhaps in a way, this place has been made for you." He said hesitantly before adding, "Should you ever want to settle down in one place."

Jim looked at him from under his lashes and said, “One might say you were asking me something, Noonien.  If you want to stay here, and you need and want me with you, then I’ll stay with you, my husband.  I want to stay with you.  We should stay together from now on.  Obviously, being apart is not good for us.”  He kissed Khan’s hand tenderly and then asked, “Oh, hey, is it alright for me to do that to you in public?  I don’t want to do too much PDA if it’s not cool around here.”

"Jim-" Khan closed his eyes, attempting to prevent the sudden tears gathering there from falling. "This could be your home, tomorrow. Or forty years from now, when you are ready to retire from Starfleet. But it is not home to me, until you are apart of it. Jim ... my people do not need me, as they once did." A fact that was hard to admit, but the truth just the same. A few tears escaped now, even though Khan had been fighting them back. "They do not need me." He repeated, "And that is perhaps a good thing. They have come to embrace this new life, which in turn has freed me ... I can follow you back to the stars, if you will have me, Jim. Or stay here. But it is my wish, to stay with you. To share your life, wherever it takes you."

As soon as the first tears leaked from Khan’s eyes and the meaning of his words began to seep in, Jim circled the table to squat in front of Khan, leaning into his legs.  He raised himself up to cradle his face with two strong hands, thumbing away the tracks of his tears.  “Then it’s settled,” he murmured.  “We’ll stay together.  And wherever we are is home.  So, we can be happy anywhere.  Isn’t that what that means?”  He kissed Khan’s mouth tenderly and then at the dampness on his cheeks.  “I would have to be the greatest fool not to want to have you with me, Noonien, especially since I love you so much.”

"I apologize for behaving so foolishly." Khan said, letting Jim wipe the tears from his face. "It has been difficult coming to terms with my position. It has been difficult, allowing myself the same happiness I have given my people." Khan reached forward and pressed the tips of his fingers through Jim's short hair, comforted to have him at his fingertips once more. "My husband." He said fondly. The strain of the fight with Joaquin, followed by his death, and these lingering thoughts that he no longer had a place in this new world had taken their toll on Khan. At least with Jim, he knew what he was: friend, lover, husband. These things would endure over time, whereas he felt his status with his people was shifting and diminishing.

“Please don’t apologize,” Jim said, smiling at Khan.  “You don’t know how proud I am that you allow me to see this, to share this with you.  I’m your husband, Noonien.  I want to be here for you.”  He kissed him again, just as sweetly as before.  “Someday, I suspect you’ll need to be here for me, too.  And I bet I’ll apologize to you, too.”  He pressed their foreheads together and shut his eyes to savor the closeness.

"Thank you, Jim." Khan whispered, nuzzling their faces slightly. Then taking Jim by the hand, Khan stood, taking them away from their meal for the time being. Without words, Khan opened the door to a front room closet and pulled out a dark blue house coat, which he dressed Jim in, before putting a black one on himself. The fabric was only meant to keep the chill off their skin, but save them from having to get fully dressed again and Khan lead them outside to sit on a soft mound of grass and moss to watch the night sky open up to them.

Jim followed, a little perplexed, but willing to go where Khan led.  He sat down on the grassy knoll and scooted instantly into his husband’s arms, keeping their hands tangled.  He looked up into the night sky, watching the bright stars overhead and leaning into Khan.  “The view is lovely,” he said, breaking a comfortable stillness.         

"I should take the time to enjoy it more often." Khan lifted his gaze, taking in all the subtle colors of the night sky. Pinpoints of white and yellow and red stars, glowing brightly, nestled in the dark blue overhead. "When I am in space, my thoughts tend to lean towards having the earth beneath my feet again, being able to enjoy the rain and sun and wind ... and yet when I am here- when I finally have those things, my thoughts take me back into space ... wanting to see the stars and nebula clouds ... does that make me difficult?"

Jim laughed softly and kissed his chin tilting his head to do so.  “You are wonderful,” he said contentedly.  “I guess that’s why I like Starfleet.  I get to be in space, but also explore new planets, so I never get tired of either one.”  He pointed up at a bright constellation with his free hand and asked, “Does that one have a name?  It should, if it doesn’t.”  He traces the way the stars appeared to connect together with a considering expression.  “It’s shaped like an ocean wave.”

"It is ..." Khan tilted his head, letting his eyes map out the same pattern Jim was seeing. "That is not one we have incorporated yet ... perhaps you should name it." And his people would like it all the more if Jim created a story for it as well, though Khan did not mention this. "The bright blue star just there is actually the nose of a dragon-" Khan said, attempting to point out the key stars that made up the long serpent. "I suppose he is diving into your wave." Khan leaned into Jim, eyes searching low on the horizon. "Ah- here ... do you see those two?" He asked, pointed to a pair of bright red stars just managing the clear the tree line. "They are the tiger's eyes, as he prowls the night."

Jim followed the path of the dragon and said, “That’s a good one.  Does he have a name?  Perhaps he should be Leviathen, since he’s diving into the wave.”  He looked into the bright red specks of light, smiling at the explanation of the tiger’s eyes.  “Yeah, I can see that.  Are those planets?  They’re so red.  Dying stars maybe?  We didn’t explore in that direction.”  He turned his head and began to lightly kiss Khan’s face, indulging in the desire now that he’s so close to his husband.  “You’re equal to the stars to me, though.”

"We do have visible planets and smaller observable moons, but the eyes, as far as we can tell, are from a binary star system ..." Khan trailed off as he began to feel Jim kiss the side of his face. A warm shiver slowly reached down his spine and he sighed happily. "That is high praise, Captain ..." Turning his head, Khan offered a few kisses in return, at first to his jaw, then a few along his neck, and even through his shirt on his shoulder, pressing his face against Jim's chest before he lowered himself further, dropping his head into Jim's lap. Laying like this, Khan looked up to his lover and husband with a little smile.

Jim watched Khan move until he ended up with his head in Jim’s lap, shifting himself to answer his husband.  It was a slow, easy dance between them, as their bodies showed that they remembered each other, despite the time apart.  In the end, he smiled down at Khan and stroked his hair, enjoying the feel of the soft, silky strands in his fingers.  “Comfortable?” he asked with a warm smile.  He had enjoyed the attention Khan paid him the moments before, glad to see the spark slowly returning to his lover’s eyes.  “Anything I can do for you, Noonien?”

"This is good, Jim." Khan said, keeping his eyes focused on the blue of Jim's eyes rather then the stars overhead. Though he did reach for Jim's free hand and took it up and placed it on the center of his own chest, covering it with his own hand to keep it there. He could breathe again, knowing Jim was right there, playing with his hair, looking out for him while his heart mended, until he was emotionally strong enough to protect them both again. "Speak to me ... tell me what you see ... I am happy to hear your voice."

“What I see…” Jim said and then nodded once.  “As you wish.”  He looked around them and told Noonien how beautiful he found their garden in the moonlight, how he also wanted to see it in the sunlight, hear about each plant, not only their name, but also when they were planted and if they have any functional uses.  His eyes ventured to their home, and he talked about how he’d missed the place, how he wanted to make new memories with Khan there.  And finally, his gaze turned to Khan and forcing aside any difficulties, he told him how much Khan meant to him, how much he’d missed him and how glad he was to be back by his side.  He talked until he was slightly hoarse and coughed a little, smiling apologetically.  “I don’t think I’ve talked that much since I was seventeen and trying to talk myself out of being arrested...that worked for me, probably because they thought I was so annoying that it wasn’t worth the trouble.”  He laughed softly at his younger self and then leaned down to kiss Khan.

Hearing his voice and feeling the soft rumble in his chest every time Jim spoke helped Khan find peace this evening. The fingers that therapeutically pet his long hair help put Khan's distress at ease. Even a few soft purrs escaped his throat as he sighed, listening to Jim's observations. Squeezing their hands together on his chest, Khan managed to look happier now. "Oh ... you are entirely worth the trouble." Touching Jim on the side of the face, Khan welcomed this kiss, sucking gently at Jim's lips before he finally began to kiss back.

Jim deepened the contact for only a second, not wanting to push Khan too fast, but needing the brief sweep of tongue.  He pulled back to smile at his husband and rubbed their noses together affectionately.  “Do you have to get up at any particular time tomorrow?  I know everyone around here is an early-to-rise, but that doesn’t necessarily mean early-to-bed. But whatever you want to do is good by me.  We can sit out here until the sun rises...”  He looked around them and said, “I’m sure the sunrise is pretty spectacular, too.”  With a little smile, he kissed his lover again, humming softly under his breath.

"I have not made myself publicly available recently ... I doubt I am expected, anywhere." Khan shifted his head on Jim's lap, looking to the tall grass around them. "Will you lay with me out here, tonight? Under the stars, on the grass, in my arms? I can get a blanket, or more bedding if you need, to make it more comfortable for you." Khan sat up now, though bowed his head forward to press his lips to Jim's shoulder, nuzzling at him through the fabric. "... or is that too feral for you?"

“Feral?” Jim asked and then chuckled at the idea.  “I’ve slept a thousand times under the stars, often on different planets.  “Still, I wouldn’t mind a blanket to lay on, if only to prevent all the little itchies I always end up with sleeping on the ground.  Otherwise, your arms will be warm enough for me.  More than.”  He rubbed their noses together again.  “And maybe some dessert?”  He looked hopefully at Khan.  His stomach was still a little empty, since their dinner had been interrupted long ago.

Khan was pleased that Jim easily accepted the idea. As tightly wound and precise as Khan was designed to be, the ultimate modern warrior, rational leader, ingenious in his work and unflinching against a challenge, there was still something underlying wild about Khan Noonien Singh. A part of him that felt freeing to embrace. It was the part of him that was not designed in a lab, that was without structure, that could not be controlled. Some called this side of him monstrous. When it really was perhaps just the primal, human side, others had since evolved from. It was this side of him, for example, that allowed Khan to survive on Qo'noS, alone. To fight Klingons, hand to hand, as if it were as easy as breathing. It was this side of him, Khan was always secretly wary that Jim would let him embrace, but was always pleased when Jim treated it as a non-issue.

"I will bring you blankets and dessert, my husband." Khan said, kissing him on the side of the face before he stood to go back inside.

“You don’t want me to accompany you?” Jim asked, secretly pleased by Khan’s pronouncement that he will take care of things.  He wanted to see the forceful, decisive Khan and not the one made to question himself by the betrayal of his best friend.  Still, he wanted to offer, not only because Khan was in the early recovery from his depression, but also because it wasn’t in his nature to sit around and let others do for him.  Still, he would for Khan.  Always.  “If not, I’ll be waiting impatiently for you right here.”  

"Sit," Khan assured. "There are no predators on this continent. So you will not be carried away into the night, by anything other than me." Khan hummed to himself before he disappeared inside for a few minutes.  Once he returned, on the one side he had a large blanket draped over his shoulder and arm, and in the other hand, he had a bowl of fresh fruits and berries and what looked to be chocolate shavings sprinkled over the top of everything. Dropping the blanket first, Khan stretched it out on the flattest part of the ground, building their bed for the night. "Now then ... this will have to do for now. The bakery makes pies and cookies, but I do not have any here for you to sample. Perhaps tomorrow, if the craving still stands."

Jim allowed Khan to take care of everything, sensing that Khan needed to do exactly these little things.  He smiled with a touch of lust at his husband, eyes half-closed to expose just a teasing gleam of blue.  “You know I’ll never object to being carried off by you, whenever you like, Noonien.  I’ve always loved your strength.”  He moved to help him straighten out the blanket, before looking over the dessert.  “That looks perfect, Noonien.  A nice way to end the night, except that after I get to curl up in your arms, so, that’ll make it even better.”  He reached out and picked up one of the berries, tossing into his mouth and chewing with a pleased noise.  “I do love being able to eat all this fruit.”

Laying with Jim for so long that day had allowed Khan to begin to enjoy life again, or at least, be comfortable with himself. Leaning in close, Khan pressed his nose and lips close to Jim's neck, pressing a few light kisses to the backside of his jaw as Jim ate. "I am glad this planet has small treats for you to enjoy, Jim. Do the flavours make your tongue happy?" He asked, knowing that often times on the Enterprise, Jim was restricted to a very bland diet, depending upon what fresh produce they gathered from planet to planet.

“Kissing you makes my tongue even happier,” Jim teased and leaned in to kiss his mouth briefly.  He scrambled on to the blanket, glad for his still bare feet.  He half-tackled his husband into a hug, careful to telegraph his move, just in case Khan objected.  Wrapping his arms tightly around him, he said, “Thank you for welcoming me home, my Noonien.”

At first, Khan surrendered to the attack from his husband. No, not an attack. A hug. He could manage a hug. His arms went around Jim, then in one easy movement, Khan flipped them both until Jim was on his back and Khan half laying over him. "You are most welcome here, my husband. However long we are to stay ... I wish to give you the home you want." Khan held the side of Jim's face with a little smile. And in a rare show of playfulness, but also perhaps a slightly symbolic gesture, Khan leaned over and picked out a berry from the bowl with his mouth, only to then offer it to Jim's lips.

Jim laughed as Khan easily rolled them both, finding himself on his back under his husband, a position that made him feel both safe and loved.  A position that indicated Khan felt better, too.  He lifted his head to intercept both lips and berry, showing the deftness of his tongue by delicately extracting the delicious morsel and then sharing it between them.  He didn’t part their mouths when the berry disintegrated, but kept hungrily kissing his lover.  Oxygen, or the need of it, finally made him let go and relax back into the blanket, smiling up at him.  “This is home, right here.  Don’t ever doubt that, my loving Noonien.”

A different sort of fear that Khan had been holding onto finally dissolved. Talking and dreaming over long distances was once thing, but now in each others arms again, they could pick up where they left off. Whatever Khan was, wild or tame, distressed or calm, he was still what Jim wanted, and that was a relief for the man who had been pushed into a position of doubt. "Yes-" Khan seemed to smile, enjoying the phrase, "your loving Noonien." He said, kissing Jim again, sucking a little bit of the lingering flavour off his lips. "Would you like another?"

“Another kiss?  Don’t mind if I do.”  Jim grinned cheekily and kissed him again, sweeter this time.  “Oh, did you mean a berry?” he asked, when he parted their mouths again, mischief in his expression.  “I guess I’ll take a few more of those, too.  Are you going to continue to feed them to me?  That increases their appeal, I must confess.”  He opened his mouth in clear expectation, like a young bird about to be fed by his parent.  Only with a lot less innocence, since Jim allowed himself to project invitation to whatever Khan might be interested in.

Khan had missed this. And in fact, needed it. It was playful and flirty, affectionate and showed trust. It reminded Khan that he was allowed to be happy, and not only that, it was safe to be so. Leaning over, Khan plucked another piece of fruit from the bowl, and offered it once more to Jim, enjoying how their lips brushed and how they got to share the taste at the same time. This was good. Khan hummed softly, his hands finally, slowly, finding their way over Jim's body, down his arms to his wrists, then back up to his shoulders and torso.

Jim moaned into this kiss, as the warm hands explored his body a little.  He arched welcome into that touch, but tried hard not to push for more than Khan was willing and able to give at the moment.  And he ate as many berries as Khan offered, in whatever fashion he was fed them.  His stomach felt a bit happier to have some little more inside it, although the dessert was not very heavy.  “Yeah, that’s about perfect,” he said.  “I’ve lost a little weight being away from you, and only I’m telling you cause I’m pretty sure you’re going to notice, not because I’m unwell or anything.”

"Yes-" Khan nodded, though did not stop touching Jim. "I noticed the change on the recordings, over time ... and I see it now ... but since this planet is plentiful in foods you can consume, I am unconcerned. You are strong and beautiful to my eyes as ever." Khan touched the side of his face, thumbing over the rise of his cheekbone. "Do you need more then this, Jim?" He was feeling a little more capable now, a little more able to care for Jim and give him what he needed, if he asked for it. Whereas he was still not thinking much on his own wellbeing, but Jim was slowly reworking his brain in this area too.

“More than this?” Jim asked and then shook his head.  “I wouldn’t mind more than this, but I want whatever you want, Noonien.  There’s no rush, no pressure.  I’m here for the long haul now.  We’ll have a long time to indulge all of our baser, you might even say feral, instincts.  As often and in any many ways as you want...you know I’m always eager to couple with you, Noonien.”  He rubbed their cheeks together and added, “Other than our ‘special’ calls and a my right hand, I’ve been without for a long time.  Nobody compared to you, Noonien.  I didn’t even feel the urge.”

If he was honest, Khan was a little proud that Jim had not felt the desire to be with anyone else. He was human and had urges like anyone. Actually, before they had come to any sort of private arrangement, Jim seemed to have quite a lot of urges, repeatedly, and often. So Khan felt honoured to be chosen as Jim's last meal, as it were. He had no interest in sampling other fruits, only Khan. It was of course a pleasant stroke to his ego. "I know it has been a long time for you, Jim. And I hope to make the wait, worth it. If you will be patient with me, husband. This is what I can offer you, tonight." He said, making a point of settling a little more of his weight over Jim, only to slowly kiss the side of his face and neck.

“I told you, there is no rush, Noonien,” Jim soothed, but appreciatively hummed and stretched out his neck to encourage more kisses.  “I love your mouth.  It always soothes so itch inside me, something needy.  But only for you.”  He chanced searching out Khan’s skin, sliding a hand under Khan’s tunic and stroking in small circle.  “I love you, Noonien.  So fucking much.  Even if we never had sex again, it wouldn’t really matter to me.  Not so long as I can have you with me.”

"You have me, husband." Khan whispered close to his ear before his lips pressed a few more kisses there. It helped further ease his mind, Jim was willing to wait, for as long as it took. That, despite how much both men enjoyed their coupling together, it was still love and still a strong union without it. Rolling them again until they were both on their sides facing one another, Khan gently encouraged Jim's leg over his hip, still wanting to be pressed close and to hold Jim in his arms while the stars sparkled overhead, tiny nightlights that help make each inch of bare skin visible to the other.

“And you have me,” Jim assured and settled his leg more comfortably on Khan’s strong hip and thigh.  “In fact, right now, I’d say you have me good and proper right this moment.”  He tucked his head so it rested close to Khan’s and shut his eyes.  “I could sleep like this.”  His hips wiggled to move them even closer together, pressed warm and tight.  “Mmm, perfect.”  He tucked his arms between them, so that he was completely against his husband, completely in the protective warmth of his body.  “Gonna sleep well.”

Khan smiled against Jim's forehead, arms wrapping around his shoulders, holding him with ease. "I love you, Jim." He said, feeling immensely satisfied to have Jim like this. "Thank you-" he added, pressing his nose into Jim's hair, breathing in his scent. "Thank you for coming to my rescue." It was only the first day, but Khan was already beginning to feel saved. With Jim, he would recover.


	21. Welcome Home

The full moon hung high in the sky, like a giant lantern. As this moon was much larger and much closer then Earth was to its moon, the deep valleys and extensive plateaus were visible from the planet's surface, bright and beautiful overhead. Even in the dead of night, the light that reflected off the surface of the moon made everything glow in rich blues and soft turquoise. Additional light was hardly needed, but even so, a large campfire had been made, as all of Khan's people gathered for food and storytelling.

Khan had kept Jim mostly to himself since his arrival, but tonight, both of them were making a very public appearance together. Sharing in the lives of the other augments, Khan listened to their conversations. It put him at ease to hear them speak about science and technology, the harvest, and exploring new regions of the planet. No mention of Khan's sad heart was made, nor of Joaquin. Still, for the most part Khan kept quiet, more interested in observing the others and letting Jim do most of the speaking, greeting and engaging his people in their curious conversations.

When there was a bit of a lull between speakers, Jim leaned forward and asked, “Would anyone like to hear a story from the Enterprise?”  He grinned at the general sense of approval from the crowd and said, “Good, then.”  Launching into a complicated tale, of a mission on one of their newly explored planets, which had gone rather awry and led to Jim being stranded in the middle of a massive swamp with only his phaser, tricorder and misbehaving communicator.  He told them about the lovely and dangerous flora and fauna, particularly one rather massive creature like a Terran alligator, which fortunately, didn’t seem to know what to make of him.  Four days had gone by, during which time, he’d had a series of misadventures and managed to lose most of his uniform, before the Enterprise managed to beam him back to safety.  In some ways, the best part of his story was describing the reaction of Spock, McCoy and Scotty when he’d transported back to the ship wearing a loin cloth like Tarzan of the apes.

All eyes were upon Jim as he told his tale, not a single murmur between them as they listened to every word. Though whenever Khan seemed to snort or laugh or show some sense of amusement at the story, his people ended up being much more expressive, much more open with their laughter or shared smiles. Kirk's adventure with the Enterprise and other planets was so unlike the other stories they told. While some were pure, spontaneous imagination, some were generally stories of their past lives on Earth, or the retelling of classic Earth literature. This, what Kirk had to offer, was completely new. Eager for more, Jim was asked to tell another story, another adventure.

Jim laughed his delight at the reception of his story, through the best part had been Khan’s mirth at the ending, the happiest he had seen his lover since his return.  Not that he didn’t think Khan was better.  He’d been incrementally better each day, though they had not resumed anything more physical than kissing and cuddling.  Jim did not push for anything, just being supportive and showing his openness in listening to anything his husband wanted to talk about.  The incident with Joaquin still hadn’t come up, but Jim kept hoping it would.  He believed Khan would lose some of the additional burden on his shoulders and heart if he could just tell everything.  But he knew better than most that pushing the issue would get him nowhere and probably lead to irritation for them both.

But for now, they were well ensconced with Khan’s family, and his husband clearly enjoyed being in their mix.

“Another story?” Jim asked and laughed again at the enthusiastic demands.  “How about I tell you about an adventure with Khan?  One of the first planets we explored as a potential home for you.”  He looked to his husband for approval of sharing something about the two of them during the somewhat rockier part of their acquaintance.

"Yes! Yes! I WANT THAT ONE!" Pikea made herself well known as she leapt from her mother's arms and ran around the edge of the fire pit. As she came around the edge, Khan caught her up in his arms, helping her to settle and sit against his thigh, as she clasped at his shirt, barely able to contain her excitement. Khan however pressed his hand against her back, attempting to soothe her so that she would sit quietly for the story.  "Yes, husband. I think that is a very good story to tell," he said, admiring how well Jim had adapted to this evening and how well his people received him.

Jim grinned and reached out to lightly fluff Pikea’s hair.  “Then a story about your grandpa and me it is,” he told her.  He turned toward everyone and began to regale them with a story of the planet that had been a near miss for them all.  The place seemed perfect, upon first and even second glance.  But during their last reconnaissance of the area where the colony would have been located, a huge, sudden-building rainstorm washed away half the landscape and made a mess out of everything.  People’s comms got swept away, and Khan and Jim led a rescue mission for those who had been lost.  Jim described in great detail the way Khan bravely traversed a still roaring stream to free a injured scientist tangled in debris.  How he’d used his strength to drag himself through the current and dodged trees, rocks and other dangerous objects to rescue him.  How Khan was the only one who could have done so and about his lack of hesitance to plunge into the churning water to save the injured crewmember.  He made sure to embellish his story with plenty of hand and body gestures, watching the youngsters’ reactions in particular, their wide eyes and open mouths as good as any applause.   

“Turns out that the activity of our technology had a weird, unpredictable effect on the weather,” Jim said.  “Which is why we do as much scouting as we do before choosing a place for people to colonize.  With all our expertise and experience, the fact is that things still happen unexpectedly.  But with Khan’s help, everyone was saved, and we continued on to find you a home.”

Throughout the storytelling, Pikea had clung onto the collar of Khan's shirt, looking up at him at times with amazement of adoring. "Was the water cold, grandfather?" She asked after the story.

"Yes, it was cold." He answered privately, indulging her questions.

"Did you put on dry clothes after? Did you put on socks?" She asked, as this clearly made sense to her young brain.

"Yes. Once we returned to the Enterprise, we are all cared for in the hospital and given dry clothes."

Meanwhile, other small conversations broke out after the story. Some of the augments talked over the concept of a planet, so sensitive, that it reacted to the technology. Curious debates broke out as to whether it was the signals themselves, changes of radiation, or pitch and tone of the equipment. The events were quite curious to them. And thrilling. Khan had rescued crewmen of the Enterprise. This prompted other small conversations. In a way it reminded them, other people were important, not just augments. That while Khan was busy saving his people, he was saving others, too. That was good. All lives were important.

Jim leaned into Khan and smiled up at him warmly.  “Did I do well then?” he asked softly, thinking that all of the chattering he heard around him was a good sign.  “It looks like the story prompted some different conversations about a lot of topics.   And everyone seemed to enjoy the tale, too.”  He reached up to lightly kiss Khan’s cheek, just around Pikea.  “You liked my story, didn’t you, Pikea?  It’s good to hear about how awesome grandfather is.”

"Yes- two stories in a row ... you are a very popular storyteller. You may find yourself frequently requested from now on. That was very well delivered, thank you." Khan said, leaning in to kiss Jim on the side of the face as well. Letting his ears pick out a few of the conversations, Khan nodded slightly, "Talking about it is a good sign ... a story should entertain, but also give you something to think about ... like a fine dessert, you enjoy in the moment, but also leaves a lingering taste that you take with you, after you are done."

"Grandfather is brave." Pikea said with a nod. "I would be scared."

"You can be scared, and brave at the same time, Pikea. You do not have to be one or the other." Khan said, wanting her to understand that sometimes it was a balance of both, and that it was alright.

“Your grandfather is right,” Jim said with a big smile for Pikea and Khan both.  “I’ve been scared a lot of times since I became captain of the Enterprise.  But that’s part of being a grownup, having to do things even when they scare you.”  He leaned even more against his lover, smiling at the little girl.  “Don’t worry, though.  When you grow up, you’ll be just as brave and strong as your grandfather.  Won’t she, grandpa?” he asks, teasing his husband a little.

Pikea sat back in Khan's arms to look at him, prepared to accept anything he said as the binding truth. "Pikea is already brave and strong-" He said, pressing their noses together so that she would smile and not look so solemn. "She will be loved and respected, her entire life. She can be anything she wants- as long as it makes her happy." Pikea blushed at the attention and laughed happily when Khan rubbed noses with her.

Reaching over, Khan held Jim's hand while conversations died down. A new story was being told. Asbah told the story of The Lovers, which were in fact two much smaller moons that orbited the large moon overhead. She explained how the lovers had seen one another from across the galaxy, and were drawn to one another for a long time. Before they finally made the moon above their home. As they danced together, one sometimes in front of the other, alive in the moonlight, for the rest of time.

Jim squeezed their fingers together lightly and listened with close attention to the story.  When it was over, he asked the assembled group, “Have you ever considering holding a dance?  I bet you’d all enjoy that a lot.  And be pretty amazing at it, too.  You’re all so graceful and athletic that getting to show it on the dance floor would be something else. Oh, and you could do live music, too, since I know some of you play instruments.”  He looked around and offered a somewhat bashful grin.  “It’s just an idea.”

There was a collective pause from the entire group. Even Pikea seemed to hold her tongue this time, whereas before she had led the charge in demand of a story, for this, she waited, like the others, for Khan to decide. Music and dance had been used during many of the life gatherings. It was something that reflected times of joy and excitement and hope. But it was not something a single one of Khan's people would indulge in until Khan was ready. "Would you like to dance, Jim?" Khan asked softly. "Under the moon. Around the fire. With my people."

“Yeah, I would,” Jim said and smiled at Khan, thinking of their first attempt at dancing.  “Doesn’t even matter what type of dancing, though I had something like the rural type of square dancing in mind when I first opened my mouth.  I”m not sure it that makes sense or not, but I could see you building a platform in the middle of the square, with a bonfire center of it, if you wanted, and holding all kinds of dances and other things there.”  He looked around him again and then at Khan.  “I’d like to help organize those kinds of things, too, if there’s an interest in them. I want to be a part of this community, how ever long I may be here for.”  He turned back to Khan, searching his face for his feelings on the matter.

"I think that would be a good project for you." If Jim was indeed going to stay, as he kept implying, then having projects to keep him busy would likely help him from feeling frustrated, or too displaced. After all, Jim had allowed Khan to be apart of the crew while on the Enterprise, letting him work on projects, anything to keep his busy mind engaged. It made sense that Jim would need the same. "Our community could benefit from a stage. For dances, and theater, and concerts...if you are willing, the project is yours, Jim." Lifting their joined hands, Khan kissed his wrist before he rephrased on part, "Would you like to dance, tonight, Jim?"

Jim shivered at the tender, intimate touch and smiled up at his husband.  “Yeah, I’d like to dance with you very much, Noonien.  Any kind of dance you choose...even if I have to learn the steps as we go.”  He lightly kissed his cheek again, not sure a kiss on the lips was welcome in company.  “Please.  And thank you for offering me a way to be of some function here.  Not that I wouldn’t like to try other things, too, but I’d enjoy being a sort of community organizer.”  He laughed a little at the words.  “I always was good at throwing parties, even when I shouldn’t have been.  Maybe especially when I shouldn’t have been.  It’s a good thing to have it be an official task for once.”

"There is much you can offer the community, Jim. But finding new ways for us to socialize is ideal, as we do not have much experience in this area." Khan said, not wanting Jim to feel like he was being given busy work, as this was in fact important to their development as a people. Letting Pikea slip from his arms, Khan stood, keeping Jim's hand as he lifted him to his feet. "Stay close-" He said, whispering the words against his lips in an almost-kiss.

But instead of leading Jim immediately into a dance, Khan waited a moment, just holding Jim in his arms as everyone else got to their feet. Some found partners, some moved closer to the inside of the circle, while others moved to the outside. After a few minutes, two violins began to draw out notes, breaking the silence. At first, it was just sound, one tone laying over the other, building into a little give and take, teasing and playful, before the sounds began to dance back and forth, keeping a beat that kept moving forward.

As the music was slow to build, so too was the dance, as couples and individuals alike moved slowly around the circle, taking the time to let the music move them. Among them, Khan shuffled his feet at first, swaying with Jim until the heat of the fire and the teasing bounce of the music moved him to take stride, keeping Jim in his arms, their hips pressed as he lead them around. Dancing intimately with his lover, despite the fact that there were dozens of them doing the same.

Jim nuzzled into Khan’s cheek and murmured, “I want to contribute in ways that are important.  I may not settle just for one thing, if I have time, though you’ll always be my top priority.”  He followed his husband in their dance, allowing his body to just relax and go where the other man led.  The rest of the crowd faded from his notice, as he concentrated solely on Khan and the music.  “But I agree, it’s important to build community.”

They executed a neat step-turn and Jim lifted his head so their lips almost touched and they shared breath.  He studied Khan’s eyes and smiled a little at the peace he saw in them, so different from the troubled expression he’d often worn lately.  His own eyes were full of adoration, he was sure, for what else could they be in these moments when his lover held him close and allowed everyone to see how much they meant to each other?  

“Does this song have words you could sing to me?” he asked quietly.

In the future, Khan would continue to encourage Jim to take leadership roles, where he saw the community needed it most. He wanted Jim to be happy here, feel apart of the family, not separate from it. But for the moment, the conversation was no longer on his mind, only the dance around the fire and keeping Jim close to him at every turn. The future was uncertain. But the way Khan and Jim danced together suggested that the two men knew each other well, and always would. They were well matched and lovingly bonded. No matter what was to happen in the next few days, weeks, months or years, it was clear that they were meant to be together.

"There are no words, no." Khan said, his nose and lips pressed to Jim's jaw, "But I can improvise a song, if you like."

“Yes, I would like that, but only if you want to,” Jim said, eyes closing to enjoy the closeness of his lover in this moment.  “I’d enjoy hearing what this song means to you, what these moments mean to you.  Or whatever this song inspires you to sing.”  He followed Khan’s movements with a quiet contentedness, but kept his head consciously still, enjoying the press of Khan’s lips against his skin.  It was even better when either of them spoke, for it made the soft mouth tickle a little bit, and a shudder ran through Jim’s body.  “Noonien,” he whispered in a whole new way, feeling himself start to light up a little internally.  “Please.”

"Yes, Jim." Khan said with a soft breath. After a few more paces, Khan started up, sing-speaking quiet prose to him. He told the story of a battle-weary warrior from the desert. Whose roar was stronger than any sandstorm. A man, with a heart of fire, burning so fiercely that everyone he encountered was afraid of getting close to him in fear of being burned and reduced to ashes. He explained how it took the bravery of another fiery heart to join with his, a union that exploded into the brightest star, a light and brightness that stretched far across the galaxy.

Jim smiled more and more as the song unfurled and even hummed along with the tune, though not loud enough to disturb Khan’s singing.  He lifted his face away from Khan at last to look into his eyes and then press a quick kiss to his mouth between words.  “My warrior,” he murmured, knowing Khan will hear him.  “My beautiful, loving Noonien.  He placed his head on Khan’s right shoulder and relaxed even further into his arms.  “Please don’t stop singing.  I’d like this to go on.”

"Your loving Noonien." Khan agreed, slowing down their dance, letting the others move around them. He hummed and sang to Jim without words, keeping the mood until another song comes to him. Though as the dance went on, the beat picked up, as did the dance. Couples began to link arms, making up small chains of six or eight as they adapted their steps to something more traditional.

"Come with me, brother-" Mai-li said, asking for Jim's hand, but not taking it by force, not separating Jim from Khan without either's consent. "Come with me, brother." She said again, this time singing to him, dancing with the rest. "Join our family ... become a link, we are strong, threaded together ..." She said, while she and those linked down the line from her other arm all followed her lead. Three steps forward, two back. Three steps forward, one back. And again. Pulling at the strands of one another, tighter and tighter, slowly cinching the circle.

Jim took Mai-li’s hand and found himself whirling around in a circle with Khan’s family.  He kept up as best he could laughing when he stumbled now and then trying to follow the changing steps and speed.  His excitement changed from that of physical desire for Khan to that of exhilaration to be so included in the dance, to be a part of the group.  Still, he desired soon to be alone with Noonien again, held tight in his arms and possibly, entwined in their bed.  He was glad in that moment that telepathy and empathy weren't part of the augments’ many talents.  His eyes and smile were drawn to his left, where Khan continued to dance next to him, drawing closer with every pass of the music.

A few of the augments hollered and cried out in joy or excitement within the circle as they pulled tight on one another. It felt good to have such a physical connection to one another, to feel the power of the group and not just as an individual. Even Khan seemed to allow himself to be swept up by the experience, and closed his eyes lightly, trusting each and every one of them as the chain continued to pull forward. The song sped up once more, pushing their coordination and endurance before coming to an abrupt end. Clapping and smile and embracing one another, Mai-li gave Jim and Khan a small respectful bow, as did a few others who passed in front of them, on their way to embrace and celebrate with another friend.

"Jim-" Khan said, sliding his hand down to hold his hand. The family dance was over. And though the music continued, Khan gently pulled Jim away from the circle. Similar to Jim, more private thoughts were currently on Khan's mind.

Jim breathed hard by the time the dance ended, but exchanged bows and words with a few of Khan’s family, before being pulled aside by his husband.  With a little sigh of relief, he leaned into Khan and laughed softly at how much the dance had taken out of him.  “Noonien,” he answered.  “Let’s go home?  We can shower and lay together?”  He looked hopefully at Khan and leaned in to kiss him softly.  “I need to feel you all around me.  Please.”

"Yes, husband." The music carried on into the night, though faded into the background as Khan and Jim returned to his home at the base of the mountain. It was lovely background noise, reminding Khan that his people were happy and enjoying life. As they entered into the house, a few lights atomically powered up, though Khan temporarily released Jim's hand so that he could start a much smaller fire then the one they had just been enjoying outside, in the fireplace. Khan remained half kneeling, ensuring that the sparks took to the wood and watched as the flames grew. Shifting on his heels like this, Khan looked up to Jim with a relaxed smile.

Jim sat down next to Khan and smiled back at him, warmth that rivaled the firelight in his gaze.  “You look good, Noonien,” Jim said, meaning more than just his appearance.  “Thank you for taking me to your storytelling night.  I had a lot of fun both listening and telling.  Not to mention dancing.  That was amazing, even if I’m not quite able to keep up with everyone.”  He reached out and touched Khan’s right knee, squeezing gently.  “And what would make this night absolutely perfect is to spend the rest of it with my husband.”

"You kept up wonderfully, Jim. And I am pleased that you enjoyed yourself ... your company was valued, and not just by me." Khan leaned forward, brushing their lips for a kiss. "But right now, I need you to myself again." He said, then sat back on his heels. "I would like to make a bed for us, here. If you are willing." The last few nights, Khan and Jim had slept under the night sky, in the open air in the bed Khan had made for them among the high grasses and moss. Khan had enjoyed the crisp night air and keeping pressed close to Jim through the night as they kept each other warm. But tonight he wanted them to have a little bit more privacy.

“Yes, this will do nicely,” Jim said, looking at the spot beside the fire.  “Perfect for some cuddling...and more if you’re up for it.  But only if you are.  I’ll be content to curl up with you and just be close.”  He got up to fetch some bedding and pillows to help put together their ‘nest’ for the night.  “Shall I take off all my clothes, too?” he asked with an almost shy glance over his shoulder at his husband.  But there was warm hopefulness there, too.

Khan remained where he was, watching Jim go collecting their bedding with a curious little smile. When Jim returned, Khan let his hands fall to Jim's hips, "Allow me?" He asked, pressing his lips to Jim's shoulder. "It is a treat, being allowed to unwrap you." He said, already pushing the tips of his fingers under Jim's shirt, sighing happily to touch his warm skin.

Jim smiled and set aside the bedding, putting himself into Khan’s hands.  “Do as you will,” he said.  “I don’t mind at all being treated like a present, if you’re the one I’m being given to.  I only wish I had more on, so I could enjoy the unwrapping for longer.”  He winked playfully at Khan, wanting to make this not only sexy, but fun.

Khan purred softly at the idea, imaging easily Jim dressing himself up as he sometimes did, only to give himself as a gift to Khan, so that he could unwrap him in the way he enjoyed. He gave Jim another few light kisses before he sat back on the floor, knees drawn up slightly, but legs and feet parted, leaving a space for Jim, who he pulled in closer to be trapped by all his limbs now. Holding him from behind, Khan once more let one hand slip under his shirt, palming over the warm skin of his stomach, while the other teased the hem of his pants until they found a gap in which he could pushing his hand down inside, becoming a suggestive bulge under the fabric. "You have been very patient with me." He said, his fingers working their way up his torso, slowly pushing his shirt up as his fingers grazed his nipple.

Jim moaned and leaned into the strong figure behind him, body well primed now and sparking under Khan’s hands.  “You’re worth it, Noonien,” he breathed and fought not to press up hard to bring the hand at his groin more where he ached for it.  He trembled at the attentions, though, the remembered feel of Khan’s touch becoming reality again.  “I have missed this though.  I’d be lying if I denied it.  Fuck, just from this teasing, I’m hotter than I’ve been in years.  I don’t know if I’m going to last long the first time.  Might go right off in your hand the moment you touch me where it counts.  Don’t hold it against me...and don’t stop.  I want more than once, if you’ll give me that.  Please.  Fuck.  I’m hot all over for you.”

"Beautiful, Jim." Khan hummed with approval as Jim trembled in his arms, his body aching, and deserving of attention. His hand continued to move up Jim's chest, until the fabric got caught up around his shoulders and neck. Here he grabbed a handful and pulled up until he stripped Jim of his shirt. Immediately, Khan bowed his head forward and began to kiss Jim on his shoulder and across his back, nuzzling the side of his face slowly, wishing to bathe in his scent. "Husband-" He purred, lips pressed to the side of his neck as he scooted closer, so that their skin was pressed firmly against the other, Khan's chest against Jim's back, and the heat of their bodies trapped hotly between them. With his second hand, Khan slid his fingers across Jim's waistline, then began to pick at the buttons of his pants, releasing some of the pressure so that he could push both hands under the fabric. "There is no need to hold back, Jim. I want you to be happy ... I want you to enjoy yourself ... it is a pleasure, to make you feel good."

Jim lifted his arms as Khan pulled his shirt off and sighed at the freedom, leaning back into his lover.  He loved the dichotomy of being disrobed while Khan remained clothed.  And he loved even more the way Khan touched him, nuzzles and kisses along his shoulders and neck and face, which made him tremble and moan.  He held nothing back, as Khan asked, not that he ever would with his husband anyway.  

His cock pressed eagerly against the front of his boxers, straining for the fingers that still played just above them.  “Please, Noonien,” he begged softly.  “I want you.  Touch me.  It’s been so long.  I’ve dreamed about this so many times.”  He turned his face to find whatever part of Khan he could reach with his lips and pressed kisses there, both sweet and needy.  The trembling of his limbs only increased the more Khan touched him.     

Pushing the fabric down his hips and thighs, Khan helped relieve Jim of his pants and boxers completely, until he was stripped bare and naked in his arms. "My Jim-" Khan purred softly, sliding his hands up the inside of Jim's thighs, keeping them parted until one hand cupped his balls and the other slid up a little further to gently grasp his cock. He wanted to enjoy all of Jim, slowly and intimately, but right now would not make his lover wait for the attention and release he so desperately craved. "Lean back against me, my love, so I can feel you writhe in my arms as I touch you."

“Noonien,” Jim moaned the name long and low and relaxed into his arms, giving himself over again to the man he loved.  He pressed into the hand that now tenderly gripped his cock and felt another pulse of liquid leak down the skin.  “Just need a little more, Noonien.  Gonna make a mess for you.  Can’t help myself.”  His hands dropped back to rub and grip at Khan’s side and legs, needing to touch.

"I can tell-" Khan said softly, kissing the side of his neck. There was no soothing the heat and excitement in Jim's body right now, he was simply ready. And Khan was happy to deliver. Petting the underside of his balls, Khan stroked Jim along the length of his shaft, thumbing over the top, slick with pre-cum. "I have missed this, Jim." He said, licking at the back of his jaw, then gently bit at a spot just under his ear.

The bite finished him off, and Jim would once have been embarrassed at how quickly and copiously he spilled all over himself, Khan’s hand and the floor.  He made a lot of noise, a garbling of words of love for his husband and of loud groans and louder moans.  The jerks of his hips went on forever it seemed, but too soon, he slumped into Khan’s arms completely spent.  “Oh, wow,” he breathed.  “I missed that, too.  All I needed was your touch.”

"Beautiful-" Khan said, when he watched Jim come. "Beautiful." He said again, when he seemed to calm down enough to settle in his arms once more. Taking some of the load between his fingers, Khan drew back his hand and spread it over Jim's shoulder and upper back. But this was simply a means to an end, as Khan then began to lick Jim clean, drawing his tongue across his skin, groaning softly to taste him once more.

Jim moaned again when Khan began to lick over the mess on his skin.  “Noonien,” he breathed, “that feels so damn good.  I’d love to have that tongue all over me.  I’d love to have you all over me...in me.  As deep as you can go.”  He reached around back of him and cupped Khan’s head, tugging him close for a kiss.  His mouth promised whatever Khan wanted, however he wanted it. As did his body, which Jim undulated a few times against his husband in open invitation.

"Yes, I think ..." Khan licked his lips, then pulled his hands away briefly to reach for the bedding. "Lay out on the floor with me, Jim. You will be warm by the fire ... and by me." Khan pet a hand down his back as he spoke, arranging the bedding with one hand. "Then allow me to suck and kiss and lick your body clean, my husband. To taste you, every inch of you."

“Oh yes, I want that,” Jim moaned and laid himself out on the bedding, stretching his arms over his head.  He splayed his legs out to give Khan access to as much of his body as possible.  Thus arranged, he looked invitingly and submissively up at Khan, a promise to do whatever his husband wanted and needed of him in his eyes.  “Here I am, Noonien.  Please taste me all over, like you said.  Please, Noonien.”  His voice rose in an enticing plea, even though he kept himself still to show that he could and would wait for his husband.

Positioning himself over Jim on all fours, Khan tilted his head to the side, drinking in the sight of his lover like this. It was a treat, he knew, as Jim did not have to play this game with him, and yet after all this time, he still proved himself to be eager and willing. "Ah- so good, my love," Khan purred, pressed his first few kisses to the center of Jim's chest. Though as soon as he did this, he turned his head and rubbed the side of his face against the warm skin. With a sigh that expressed some relief of his tension, Khan began to kiss Jim over his torso, sucking gently at a few visible ridges of his ribcage.

Using his mouth and lips, Khan rediscovered his lover's body. Sucking and kissing the skin, following lines of muscle and bone as pathways across his frame. Eventually, his mouth found its way to Jim's hip, where he gave a few gentle bites. "I am out of practice, my love-" Khan began, resting the side of his head on Jim's hip, but looked up at him with a little smile, "but I wish to take you in my mouth and bring you back to life."

Jim tilted his head back to look into Khan’s eyes as he was surrounded by his husband and smiled, turned on by the way the much stronger man loomed over him.  He knew Khan would never hurt him, so that the enhancements only would make their physical encounters a bit hotter.  At least to Jim.

The first press of lips to his heated skin made him moan and want to squirm, though he kept himself still.  He enjoyed every second of Khan’s exploration of his body and demonstrated that pleasure through an unending string of praise and requests for more.  And when Khan offered more, Jim smiled and said, “Please, Noonien.  Just having you want to offer that to me makes me hot.”  His fingers curled toward his palms in a response to not being able to touch.  “Noonien...may I touch you?”

"Yes, Jim." Khan breathed, nuzzling Jim's stomach, lips just brushing against the tip of his cock. "Touch me. Grab hold of my hair. Anything you wish, my husband." Khan answered, lightly closing his eyes as he began to lick clean the dried semen from around the head of Jim's gorgeous member. His tongue was hot and strong against the muscle, slowly licking the length of him, encouraging the blood to flow and return to his full, hardened length. Taking his time, Khan sucked around the base, enjoying his salty taste.

“Oh, fuck,” Jim slurred out, as the warm, wet muscle stroked over his sensitive length.  He reached up and cupped Khan’s face with one hand, thumb caressing his cheek.  “That’s already so good, Noonien.  Fuck.  So good.”  He couldn’t help the squirm now, as his cock started to rally for a second time.  It was a pleasant feeling mixed with a tinge of overstimulation.  “Noonien, will you make me ready for you, too?” he asked, wiggling his ass hopefully.  

Khan purred again, and nodded with a gasp as he pulled his mouth off briefly. "Yes, Jim." With one hand resting on Jim's hip, the other on his thigh, Khan dug his nails in slowly, not to harm, but it was a possessive, almost hungry gesture. He continued to suck and lick Jim clean, enjoying the slow swell of his erection with a groan of his own. "Beautiful-" He swallowed back a gasp of air. "My tongue has needed your taste ..." He said, lowering himself between Jim's legs, closer to the floor. Pressing his nose to the inside of Jim's thighs, Khan groaned again, licking and biting softly before working his tongue under his balls, lapping his wet tongue against his tight ass.  

Jim whimpered softly at the firm hold on his hip and murmured, “Yes, I’m yours, Noonien,” in response.  “Mark me however you want.”  He spread his legs further apart, testing the flexibility of his muscles to give Khan even more access.  “Want you so bad.  Everything you’ll give me.  Want to be claimed by you again, Noonien.  Need to be yours again.”  He arched his back to lift his ass a little off the ground in plea and offer.  “So good.  So so good.’

Khan enjoyed using the flat of his tongue to lick Jim clean, making him wet with his saliva before working the tip of his tongue into his hole. At first they were shallow plunges into his body, teasing the muscle, giving his body an idea of what to expect. But soon he was flicking the tip of his tongue in deeper, and for longer, gently sucking and licking the tender muscle open for him. Khan groaned deeply, eating Jim out with hungry dedication, enjoying the subtle changes of how his body opened up to him.

Jim had been rimmed by lovers before Khan, but none had the skill or the power of his husband.  The strength of that tongue parted his passage with an ease some didn’t even have with their fingers and spread a warm slick that made him moan and push.  He wanted more, needed more, desired the powerful, huge cock that always claimed him so well.  “Please, Noonien.  Fuck me.  I need you!”  His toes curled with pleasure and want, scraping along the floor.  His breath came in harsh pants now, as his cock swelled even more, aching most pleasantly as it dribbled precome over his belly.

Khan smiled to himself, taking it as a compliment that Jim constantly wanted more of him. Even if sometimes that meant showing impatience in the moment, it was a delight knowing that Jim could be wound up into such an eager mess. Khan withdrew his tongue, though nuzzled his nose against Jim's sac as he lifted his head. It was difficult to resist, whenever Jim used 'please' and 'Noonien' in the same sentence.

"First, Jim-" Khan slowly sat up to his knees, still situated between Jim's legs. "You should undress me, don't you think? And prepare me with oil, so that it is not too rough, after all this time." Unless of course Jim wanted it raw, with only Khan's saliva to ease the pain. There was something exciting about that too, but Khan did not want Jim in pain for their first time back together.

Jim managed to catch his breath and his mind just enough to look over Khan and notice he still wore all his clothes.  He made a weak noise of laughter and said, “Imagine me getting this far twice and you still wearing every stitch.”  He picked himself up and reached for Khan’s tunic, easing it up his lover’s torso.  And even though he ached in every way to be filled and claimed, he took the time to uncover and admire every inch of his lover, showing that admiration by kissing skin every now and then.  He took a longer pause at the first nipple (the right) he uncovered and in fact, ended up latching on and sucking fiercely for a few moments.  

Khan watched Jim quietly. He had been happy to remain fully clothed until then, as he was somewhat embarrassed by his physical state, as he had yet to put his weight back on and he not necessarily feel or look as powerful and mighty as he still was. Though as Jim began to touch his bare skin, most of his worries slipped from his mind. Head dropping back slightly on his shoulders, Khan breathed in sharply as Jim sucked on his nipple. His fingers found their way to the base of his skull, cradling the back of his head, and soothed by the soft hairs between his fingers.

Jim noticed the weight loss and fretted internally over it, but didn’t let it affect the way he kissed and caressed his husband.  When he finally released the first nipple, he slid his mouth over to find the second, nursing just as intently at it.  But he had to move on eventually, and pushed Khan’s tunic off the rest of the way, tossing it on a chair casually.  “There you are.  At last the top half of you,” he teased happily, running his hands up and down the strong pecs.  “You’re so beautiful.  I need to see the rest of you.”

His hands moved to Khan’s waistline, but then one smoothed down to squeeze the bulge of his groin.  “Oh,” he breathed at the hardness and girth there.  “Oh, I have missed this part of you, too.”  He eased pants and undergarments down in one smooth motion, taking care to not pull on anything sensitive with the fabric.  But he had fight to keep his concentration on finishing getting them off when Khan’s beautiful erection greeted him.  “I want to suck you dry,” he blurted, admiring the length.

Khan snapped his head forward and eyes quickly locked on Jim. There was amusement there, but also excitement. "That would be quite an ambitious undertaking." He said, petting his fingers through Jim's hair. "Though-" he added, with a light lick of his own lips, "I cannot deny how much I would enjoy your mouth, Jim." Even though Jim had been eager for him just moments ago, to be fucked and claimed by him, the idea of being sucked off right now was rather appealing.

“Next time,” Jim said definitively.  “We’ll have lots of chances.  I need you inside me this first time back. I’m still open and aching inside.” He tossed Khan’s pants with less care than he showed the shirt.  “Now, where’s that oil?” he murmured, digging around until he located it and wielded it triumphantly.  “Here we are.”  He trickled some over his fingers and then on Khan’s cock, coating it tenderly and thoroughly.

And then he fell back, spread his legs wide, arched his back and presented himself for his husband’s pleasure.

"Oh, Jim." Khan said, almost darkly. He was an eager little pup who really just needed a good fuck. It pushed all the right buttons with Khan as he pressed his fingers into Jim's thighs. "You are still mine to take." He said, letting the head of his cock find its way naturally to his entrance, rubbing along the outside a few times. "Oh, Jim." He said again, bowing his head to kiss the center of his chest as he began to push past the resistance, diving sweetly into his body. It had been a long anticipated union of their bodies, and now that Khan had a taste of it, he would take more.

Khan’s combination of almost dark possessiveness and tender care was unique to Jim’s lengthy experience, but he loved his husband for it.  Not to mention that it made him hotter than any other lover.  The breach of his body did cause some pangs, since he had not lain with a man since last parting with Khan, but the joining caused much more pleasure (and not just physical) than pain.  “Noonien,” he breathed as that huge cock continued to push its way inside him.  “Fuck.  Don’t stop.  All way inside me.  I need you.”  He deliberately squeezed around the hardness inside him.  “I’m yours.  All yours.”

"Beautiful, Jim ..." Khan groaned, letting his knees spread on the floor so that he could push in further. There was an exciting tightness to Jim, suggestive that he in fact had not been with anyone else for these long years. But his body was so eager for him, that the discomfort was hardly noticeable. Khan had to pause half way, pull out a little, then push in again, keeping his shaft slick right to the hilt. "Ohhh-" He sighed, wrapping one arm under the small of Jim's back, while the other caressed the side of his face, "I have needed you, Jim. My husband." He said, looking into his bright blue eyes.

Jim groaned deeply as Khan fully seated himself and answered, “I am here for you, Noonien.  Take what you need.  I want you to.  Please.”  He thumbed over Khan’s cheeks and lips, before tugging him down to kiss him sweetly.  “Don’t hold back.”  He pushed up into his impalement as best as he could, breath leaving him in a low, almost whining noise of pleasure.  “Want you so much.”

It was a delightful sight, being able to watch Jim pant and gasp like this, as Khan found himself fixating on the way his lips parted. Groaning, Khan kissed that devious, delicious mouth, finally beginning to let show how much he wanted him. "Jim." A hot spark rushed down his spine, snapping his hips forward, over and over, pushing to lose himself in his lover's body. His fingers tightened, clawing into Jim's side as he devoured him, seeking comfort from the union of their bodies, but also from his husband's words.

And just like that, Jim had the full measure of Khan’s attention and demand on him and in him and all around him.  He wrapped his legs tightly around Khan’s hips, ankles crossing over on his strong back and tried to meet his demands.  But he could not quite keep up with the speed and force of Khan’s thrusts, so hard and fast did they continue to come.  He hung on instead for dear life, body open to Khan’s needs, even though his eyes threatening to roll back in his head from the sheer power of those needs.  

“Yes, Noonien,” he whispered, voice hoarse from overuse.  “Yes.  That’s good.  So very good.  I’ve got you now.  I’m here, and I’m yours and I’m going to stay.  Bury yourself in me so you can feel how tightly you’ve bound me to you now.”

"Jim, I love you." Khan whispered against his neck. "Jim, my husband." He said, when he kissed the side of his face. There was affection and love in every small gesture, every soft gasp for breath, even as he continued to dive into his lover's body, becoming lost in every hot pulse, every elegant muscle. "Oh, Jim-" He growled out his groan, leaving little bite marks over Jim's shoulder and across his collarbone. Jim Kirk knew precisely how to get under Khan's armour, to find and grab hold of his heart, and show him it was still safe to love, without being broken, to be himself, without compromise. To let go, and still be in good hands. It was no easy matter to make someone as fierce as Khan Noonien Singh feel safe and loved, when he was at his most vulnerable and broken. But Jim Kirk could do it. And did.

"Jim- my husband ..." He said with a whimper of his own, face buried against his neck, finding comfort as his body let go with his release. Coming hard into his lover's body, spilling his seed and claiming him once more. Jim was his. Jim would always be his. But more then that, the relationship went both ways. With the power Jim had over him, Khan belonged to Jim equally. "My husband ... I am yours."

Jim’s skin stung where Khan had marked him with teeth and fingers, and his ass smarted where the powerful thrusts had abraded his tender passage, but he felt wonderful.  Khan’s words of love and acceptance burned away any minor discomforts.  He kissed the lips that uttered those words, internalizing them deep inside him.  “Husband,” he echoed, smiling contentedly up at Khan.  “My loving Noonien.”  He stroked through the long, black hair and allowed his legs to ease themselves away from their tight grip, falling to either side to still encompass his lover, his husband.  “Welcome home to me.”


	22. Reconnections

The sky was clear, from one horizon to another. There was not a single cloud to be seen, despite the soft gusts of wind that often picked up through the trees and across the fields. It was here, lying on his back in the green and yellow grasses, that Khan laughed and smiled openly, holding Pikea overhead with one hand, helping her to pretend to fly. Her cries of delight were music to his ears, as were the smiles and tugging hands of the other children who were waiting their turn to play, wanting Khan's attention, adoring their grandfather who was so patient with them. Khan had allowed himself to love again. He could look at his people, their children, and be happy.

 

Jim walked slowly down toward the park where his husband played with the children, acting as a sort of babysitter for the afternoon.  His day’s work was completed, and he felt very positive about the progress with the central bandstand and pavilion.  With only a couple of other augments’ assistance, he would soon complete an outdoor plaza for meetings, dances, concerts and other kinds of celebrations.  Considering this was his first time attempt at such a project, the success pleased him greatly.

 

As did seeing Khan playing with the children, happiness clear in all of their faces.  He set aside his work vest and gloves and hurried down to join the group.  He broke into a grin as a few of the small ones run to meet him, yelling versions of ‘Uncle Jim!’  He caught two in his arms and gave them a spin hug, eliciting shrieks of joy.  And then he moved to greet his husband, who still held Pikea high in the air.

 

“Good evening, Noonien,” he said and planted a kiss to his cheek.

 

"Jim-" Khan turned his head to give him a smile.

 

"Uncle Jim!" Pikea grinned, arms outstretched as she 'flew' over Khan, though with the way she was reaching, Khan let her fall to the side and 'crash' into Jim.

 

Meanwhile a pair of twin brothers were sitting quietly and making a few thin braids in Khan's long hair. They looked up briefly when Jim joined them, then returned to work, but only for a moment, as Khan sat up in the grass, pulling his hair, and their project away from their fingertips. "Grandfather! We're not done!" they said, almost in unison.

 

"Very well, please continue," Khan said, encouraging the boys to finish their task that they seemed to take so seriously.

 

Jim caught Pikea and spent a few moments flying her around, too, grinning both at her and Khan.  “You’re flying!” he cried, before gently depositing her in the grass to run off and group tackle the children he’d greeted a moment ago.  He rolled on his side to watch Khan get his hair braided by the two solemn toddlers and reached out to offer one a strand of hair they’d missed.

 

“You look very handsome, Noonien,” Jim said and tangled his fingers in some of the long mane that the boys were not playing with.  “Very dashing.  Long hair...and happiness suits you very well indeed.”

 

Khan let his eyes drop as he smiled, yielding to the compliment. "Thank you, Jim." He said, leaning into the touch from his husband, though was careful not to pull his head away from the boys who were still finishing off the two braids in his hair. So instead, Khan reached up and guided Jim's hand to the side of his face, where he held it, enjoying these loving, public touches.

 

“How long have you been entertaining your adoring fans?” Jim asked with a hint of loving tease in his voice.  The children certainly did love their ‘grandfather,’ and it was the height of their days when he came out to play with them or tell them stories.  The care and gentleness he showed them was remarkable, when one remembered all the power in those strong hands.  Khan had been built with war in mind, but at heart, when finally permitted his own way, peace was all he sought.  

 

"Since after lunch." Khan answered, watching a few of the younger children try to keep up with the slightly older ones as they ran around. He was always there to address an injury, to explain that a fall was not severe, or that a push was unacceptable. Even when dealing out small doses of discipline, he was a beloved and favoured guardian. He was still leader to his people, but for the children, who he let (sometimes literally) walk all over him, he was playmate and storyteller and secret keeper.

 

“They’ll be all worn out tonight then,” Jim said with a chuckle.  “You’ve provided a bunch of parents with a couple’s night.”  He slid a little closer and bit lightly at Khan’s right ear, before whispering, “I kind of want a couple’s night myself.  A full date night.  Homemade dinner, walk under the stars, hot soak and then…”  He rolled on his back again with a smug little grin.

 

"Yes, I think that could be arranged." Khan said, watching Jim settle out on the grass. As the twin boys finished their braids, they moved around in front of Khan to announce that they were done.

 

"Thank you, Remi. Thank you, Romi." He said, hugging one arm around each. Shyly, the two boys smiled, then toddled off a few feet to play a game together.

 

“You always know which one is which,” Jim said, watching the two little identical boys.  “Remi and Romi.  I don’t know how you can tell.”  He smiled as they tumbled into play wrestling.  “Sam, my brother, has a family of his own now.  He ran away as soon as he was old enough...just before Tarsus...and managed to land on his feet.  I’ve never met any of them, wife or two boys.  I was so angry at him for deserting me, but maybe I need to extend the olive branch now.  I’d like to see them, my nephews.  You can’t be angry forever, can you?”

 

"Where do they live now?" Khan asked gently. He was a little surprised that Jim brought it up, though perhaps seeing the dynamics of his family and their children had awoken something in him. "You might enjoy being a part of their lives. You might be very welcome. You will not know until you reach out, as you say."

 

“I’m not sure, but I can find out pretty easily, I think,” Jim said, confident in his abilities to hunt his brother down through the database of Terran colonies.  “Aurelian, my sister-in-law, is an artist.  And Sam is an engineer.  They both farm, of course, since that’s the basis of most of the colonies.”  He made a soft noise of near distress.  “Just as long as they’re not farming triticale hybrids.”

 

Laying back down in the grass, Khan rested on his side to face Jim. His hand rested comfortably on the center of his husband's chest as they spoke together like this. If even for a sense of closure, Khan felt it was important that Jim did this. Even if the door between the two brothers remained firmly closed, at least he could be satisfied that he tried. And in either case, Jim had more then enough family to compensate, here with Khan and the augments, or back on the Enterprise. "Do you want to do this on your own, or may I come with you?"

 

“You would come with me to meet my brother’s family?” Jim asked and then smiled softly.  “I guess that would only be right and proper.  They should meet my family, too, or at least my most intimate family.”  He leaned in to kiss Khan briefly and then settled back at his side.  “I would like the opportunity to show off my husband.”  He rested his head on Khan’s chest and listened to his heart.  “Maybe I’ll even call my mother tonight.  Don’t know what she’ll say or think...don’t really care either, if it comes to it, but I would like to say...this is Khan Noonien Singh, my husband.”

 

"Yes, Jim. I want to stand at your side in support, as you reunite with your brother." If things go badly, Khan could easily end the conversation and take Jim away. And if they went well, then he could remain with Jim to ensure that it kept on going well. Just as it had played out on the Enterprise, Khan would be as involved in Jim's life, as Jim would allow it. "I am honoured to be your husband." As it wasn't so much as showing Khan off like a prize, something conquered, but rather as being proud of their union and unashamed to stand in public together, giving one another strength.

 

“Thank you, Noonien,” Jim said sincerely.  “It’s much easier to face these things when I know I have someone at my side the whole way through.  Knowing that it’s you there just makes it that much easier.”  He idly rubbed small circles on Khan’s chest for a few quiet moments, before finally broaching the silence again, “Do you feel quite yourself again, Noonien?”

 

"Yes Jim, I am ... myself." He said with a soft exhale. In these last weeks, Khan had begun eating full meals and put on his normal weight with ease. He smiled and laughed or chuckled, depending upon the situation. He no longer closed himself in, except for when he and Jim wanted some private time together. His heart was mended. Khan was once more free to be happy with the life he had here with his people, and now, with Jim.

 

“That’s the best news I’ve heard in a long time,” Jim confessed and reached for one of Khan’s hands to squeeze gently.  “It’s been good to see you return to yourself.”  He wondered if Khan would tell him someday exactly what had transpired between himself and Joaquin.  Somehow, he thought not, as perhaps that was a scene that Khan wished to take with him to the bitter end, if not ashamed about the event, then at least wanting to keep that part of his anguish to himself.  And Jim didn’t blame him.  He knew how he’d feel if Spock or Bones betrayed him that way.  

 

"Thank you." Khan said, keeping their hands clasped together as he leaned in, letting their foreheads press and their noses brush. "For more than I can express, thank you." He said again. Contacting Jim for help had been the right decision. And Jim coming all this way, leaving his crew and his duties, leaving hundreds to save one, had helped push Khan into recovery.

 

Jim shifted up to smile down at Khan and said, “Anytime, love.  Anytime at all.”  He lifted his head to look around them and then asked in a soft voice, “Do you think we could go for a walk tonight, under the stars?  Just walk with me until we’re far from anywhere and alone.  And then you can make love to me with only the night to see.”  He looked with those big eyes at his Noonien, hopeful that he would find it a worthy idea.

 

"Yes, Jim." Khan pressed his lips to Jim's jaw, kissing softly, but lingered as he quietly breathed him in. "I quite like the sound of that." Though, there was very little, if anything, that Khan would refuse Jim anyway. It was easy enough to get away, with a small population, still under one hundred, there was plenty of planet to explore for such private encounters. Then sitting up slightly, Khan glanced to the kids that were still playing nearby, "Help me walk each of them home?"

 

Jim’s stomach rumbled, and he said, “Yep, almost dinnertime.”  He kissed Khan’s right cheek and scrambled to his feet.  “Time to go home to dinner!” he yelled, throwing up his arms in excitement.  The children cheered and followed his example.  “Everyone in order, like your grandfather taught you!  Make sure everyone’s accounted for!  No stragglers!”  He hurried among the children, making them giggle and scramble to get into their places.  When everyone was in line, holding hands with their buddy, Jim fell into the end and saluted Khan.  “All ready, Grandfather.”

 

Khan counted, then recounted those in his charge. The children of his people were fascinating delights, each with their own growing personalities and moods, so unlike how Khan and his family had first been brought into the world. "Very good." He said with a smile as the kids giggled and grinned. Jim was the biggest kid of them all, of course. But the salute made Khan chuckle before he turned, walking closer to the front of the line as they headed back to the village.

 

As they dropped off each child to their home, Khan was greeted and thanked, though many of the families made sure to include Jim, to thank him as well and exchange a few words of small talk regarding his project. Khan felt this was a good thing, seeing his people reach out to Jim, even if sometimes awkwardly, the intent was still there. Jim was important. He was different, but he was family, and he mattered.

 

Jim said a personal goodbye to each child and did his best with the parents, falling back on much of the diplomatic skill he’d learned as captain of the Enterprise.  But he was also genuinely interested in everyone and wanted to be regarded as part of the group.  There were still a few people in whose eyes he saw doubts about his place, but he was used to that kind of look.  He let his actions and Khan’s presence speak for themselves about his worthiness.

 

When they dropped off the last child, Pikea, of course, Jim turned to thread an arm through Khan’s.  “So, what shall we have for dinner?  The lentil soup would be fast and delicious.  Maybe with some of the juice Bernadette gave you last week?  You do know she wants in your pants, right?”  He smiled teasingly at his lover.

 

Khan was about to agree that yes, it was the right season for enjoying lentil soup and then suggest that they could find a few berry patches or fruiting trees on their walk, but Jim's comment about one of his people made him frown deeply. "That isn't going to happen." He said firmly, maybe even a little angrily. As leader, Khan had always been off the table for any romantic entanglements. But having broken etiquette and taken up with Jim as his lover and husband, he was definitely off limits. "What makes you think that, Jim?"

 

“I recognize the symptoms,” Jim said, turning to face his husband and taking both of his hands.  “She really doesn’t think I’m good enough for you by half, and she’s trying to ply you subtly, offering small things to get you to notice her.  She hasn’t been flagrant about her attentions.  I wouldn’t be hard on her, Noonien.  I can’t blame her for wanting you for herself, and so long as she doesn’t do anything drastic, it’s all good.”   

 

"No Jim, it is unacceptable." Khan was so fixed on Jim, he had missed the signs, completely unaware that others were trying to get his attention in this way. A tightness in his chest squeezed coldly around his heart. "You are my love, my husband. If you were not in my life, I would have resumed a quiet, celibate life, as guardian and protector of my people. I would have found satisfaction with my role among my family, but I would not have taken a lover or sought out pleasure from the comfort of another."

 

Khan held Jim's hands firmly as he looked him in the eye. "Implying that you are not good enough for me is disrespectful. Not only of you, but of me, as it implies my choices are incorrect." There was something fierce there, underlying his words. Khan had just gone through this with Joaquin, and now it seemed others were challenging his decision making. Not about their home or living in peace, as Joaquin had. It was much more personal now. "You are right for my heart, Jim. There is no distracting me from that, no correction to be made. If she does not respect my decision in this matter, then there is a problem."

 

“Aw, Hell, Noonien, I don’t want to get her in any trouble,” Jim said with a little frown.  “It’s a sad fact of we humans, augmented and not, that we’re attracted to who we’re attracted to, even when they’re not available.  And as the person who’s led them for so long, through so much hardship...well, it’s only natural that desires will run toward you.”  He squeezed Khan’s hands just as firmly as his were held.  “Then I’m doubly glad that I am in your life, my loving Noonien, for you deserve companionship and love.  It wouldn’t be right for you to be alone.”  He leaned up for a sweet kiss, just the softest press of their lips and the quickest flick of tongue.

 

No, it wasn't right. It wasn't natural for augments, or it wasn't meant to be. Yes, his people loved him, but that had always been expressed through loyalty to Khan, never physical, never more then a touch to the arm or a handshake. It was half the reason why it was such a treat to let the children of his people walk all over him, play and hug without reservation. And while he allowed the kiss from Jim, his mind still lingered on what he considered to be a distressing thought. His decisions were not being respected. He, thus, was not being respected.

 

"Come along, Jim." Khan said, keeping their hands together. "We will eat, and change, and go for our walk into the night."

 

Jim searched Khan’s eyes and cursed himself internally for bringing it up, but offered a warm smile in response.  “Sounds like an amazing plan, Noonien,” he said and turned toward home, hand still tight in Khan’s.  “I can almost taste the lentil soup.  And my stomach is definitely empty.”  He playfully knocked into Khan’s side, the gentlest of bumps that showed his affection.  “Made just the way we both like.”  

 

He still fell into the pitfalls of Khan’s more unusual beliefs sometimes, like that of his relationship with his people.  It had gotten a little less strict than it used to be, but Khan still felt there needed to be some reserve between them that didn’t really exist anymore.  Jim really hoped he hadn’t gotten Bernadette in trouble.  He didn’t blame her for her crush on Khan, nor did he believe she’d ever do anything that would interfere with their relationship.  Truthfully, he found her pining a bit pathetic.         

 

"Why, empty? Did you skip lunch?" Khan asked, not losing step when Jim hipped him, but did look at him out of the corner of his eye with a little smirk. It was this sort of playfulness that despite any mood he might be in, helped keep Khan's attention on Jim.

 

“No, just worked hard,” Jim said.  “I’d forget to eat if not for your folks reminding me that it’s time for lunch, though.  You know how I am when I get involved in something.”  He looked a little bashful at the admission and then offered one of his rare, shy smiles.  “I miss cheeseburgers sometimes, too.  Bones would be very pleased, though, with my new diet.  You make sure I keep healthy in my eating habits.”  He wrinkled his nose at Khan in feigned displeasure, before his face broke out in a huge smile again.  

 

Khan let his hand drop away from Jim's fingers, only so that he could palm the center of his back as they walked in stride. "The planet provides us with a wonderful selection, but no, cheeseburgers is not among them." Khan paused in thought before adding, "Though perhaps, for special occasions, a venison burger could be arranged." Khan and his people had consciously not kept animals for slaughter, and did not hunt local populations since they, the augments, were outsiders here and it would be unfair and unwise to alter naive populations. But the conversation had come up more than once, that no, they wouldn't hunt all the time, but maybe for special occasions it could be allowed, with great care and respect for their kill.

 

“I know you’re being very careful not to disturb the native fauna,” Jim said, “and I don’t need a burger that much.”  He pressed a kiss to Khan’s cheek and said, “But maybe we can find a way to make french fries of the native foods.  That would go a long ways toward making me happy.  In a food way, that is.  I’m happy otherwise.”  He hesitated a moment and admitted, “Though I miss my crew… and my ship.”

 

French fries they could do, certainly. But comfort foods, even with the offer of burgers, would never make this place home for Jim, not really. It wasn't the Enterprise. It wasn't his crew. "I understand, Jim." Khan said, rubbing his back slightly so that by the time they reached their home, Khan was gently massaging the back of his neck. "Do you want to go home?" He asked, clearly not meaning the house in the mountain, whose threshold they were currently crossing.

 

Jim walked inside the dwelling and turned to face Khan, reaching out to take him into arms and kiss him for a long moment.  “As I told you before, you’re my home, Noonien.  Especially now.”  He moved to the kitchen, discarding a few of his daily items, and washed off his face and hands in the sink.  “And...having left my ship behind, I’m not sure I will ever be allowed to return,” he confessed, moving to gather the ingredients for the lentil soup.  “Starfleet doesn’t look to kindly on captains who abandon theirs posts, whatever their reasons for doing so.”  He turned his eyes on Khan and said firmly, “I do not regret my choice for an instant, mind you.”

 

Keeping still, Khan watched Jim go about the small tasks of washing and preparing their meal for the evening. Khan knew he could be very happy here like this, the rest of his life, with Jim at his side, and surrounded by his growing family. With the sun and moons and stars overhead. With the grass beneath his feet. It was the peace Khan had promised his people. And now with Jim, maybe even a peace Khan could enjoy too. And yet, it would be bittersweet if Jim was unhappy. Or turned resentful over the long term.

 

"They will take you back." Khan said after a time, moving now, passing quietly behind Jim as he helped retrieve further supplies. "Even if it turned out to be a difficult process, they will take you back, Jim. You belong on the Enterprise." Khan kept his intense gaze town as he measured out several of the ingredients. "And I belong with you." He added, not wanting there to be any mistake in his meaning. "We can return to her, together."

 

Jim turned from what he was doing to look at Khan with huge eyes, swallowing a lump in his throat.  “That’s...thank you, Noonien.  That means everything to me.”  He reached out to touch his husband’s left shoulder gently.  “But let’s not get out in front of the horse, huh?  What would you think if I contacted Starfleet tomorrow to see what’s going on with my commission?  And we can go from there.”

 

He returned to work on their dinner, mind whirling with the implications of Khan’s offer.  He, too, feared that if he were to take his husband away from his family that resentment and unhappiness would inevitably follow.  “Perhaps there is some way to allow us both some measure of what we want,” he murmured to himself, conscious that Khan would probably hear him.

 

"Contact Starfleet." Khan agreed. "And if you need anything from me, as either ambassador to my people, or as your husband, to help address the situation, let me know. And we will see what doors are open to us." Khan allowed Jim to finish off the rest of the soup while he entered into the cold storage to pull out a loaf of bread. Wrapping it in a specialized cloth, Khan then placed it in the oven to slowly warm, so that it would resemble freshly baked bread for dinner.

 

“Oh, I love that bread,” Jim said, noticing Khan putting it in the oven.  He placed the soup on the stove and then wrapped his arms around Khan, resting his head on a broad right shoulder.  “I don’t want to take you away from your family, Noonien.  You look so happy with them.  Especially the children.  They obviously adore you, and the way you allow them to crawl all over you...it’s obvious you love them, as well.”  He just rested in his husband’s arms, one arm on their dinner preparations.  How weird it was to find himself so comfortable in domestic situations.

 

Wrapping both arms around his husband, Khan allowed for this moment of peace, the way having Jim in his arms calmed him, satisfying each of his senses. "It is true, I love my family very much ... the children, perhaps most of all." Not that any implications of favouritism of the children over their parents should be brought up in public, ever, Khan trusted Jim to keep this conversation between the two of them. "My role here, however, is not essential." Whereas Jim's role on the Enterprise, was.

 

“It’s funny, given my history, that I should end up being part of a pair of star-crossed lovers,” Jim said with a kind of melancholy amusement.  “And you will always be essential to your family, Noonien.  No matter how anything else has changed.”  He pressed a kiss to Khan’s neck, near his shoulder, before pulling away to test the soup.  “A couple more minutes.  Shall we eat outside, too?”

 

"If you would like, Jim." Khan took a moment to check on the bread, but decided to let it sit longer in the oven, since they were still waiting on the soup. "Allow me to change, I will be right back." He said, petting his hand down the length of Jim's back as he passed behind him. Going into the bedroom, Khan stripped himself of his tunic and the layers he wore while out with the children that day. With a cloth, he briefly washed his face and neck, before re-tying his hair back so that it gathered at the base of his neck. When Khan emerged from the bedroom, he was wearing pants and a fitted shirt- with this streamlined look, he appeared much more like he had while with Jim on the Enterprise. A subtle effort to help make Jim feel not so displaced.

 

Jim had gone outside to set the table out there for their meal.  He brought out a selection of their fresh vegetables and fruits to nibble at with their main food.  When Khan returned in his dinner outfit, as Jim amusedly referred to it, he detoured over to greet him with another kiss.  “You look good, as ever.  Want to get out the soup and bread, while I also slip into something a little more comfortable?”  He kissed the very tip of Khan’s nose and then trotted off to get into his own relaxing outfit.

 

Doing as he was asked, Khan served the soup into two bowls, which he set aside while he then began to cut the bread into large chunks. Though spoons were provided and used, for the most part, Khan tended to use the large chunks of bread as a sort of spoon and to soak up the extra broth in meals like this. A small habit, an echo of the life he once had on Earth. Bring their meals outside to where Jim had set a place for them, Khan settled and waited for his husband, watchful eyes roaming down into the village as the sun continued to lower on the horizon.

 

Jim returned in a few moments in his own relaxed clothes, though they were suitable for their walk later.  His feet were bare for the moment, and as he sat down, he placed them in Khan’s lap cheekily.  “This looks and smells wonderful, Noonien,” he said, picked up a piece of bread and scooped up some of the butter substitute the clever augments produced.  He spread it over the bread and took a large bite.  “And tastes good, too,” he said after a swallow.  He tried the lentil soup next and frowned a little.  “Did I get this right?” he asked.

 

Using his spoon for now, Khan sampled a taste, seeing that Jim was not quite satisfied. "Hm ... it's a little bland ... I think-" Khan craned his neck to look back to the kitchen through the open door as best as possible. "You might have forgotten to add the spices I was mixing." Khan let his free hand rest on the top of Jim's foot, thumbing over the top and across the ankle. "It's not too late to add it in, as long as you stir it up well and perhaps let it soak in a minute or two."

 

“Well, leave it up to me to forget the damn spices,” Jim muttered and slid reluctantly out of his chair to get them.  He carried the bowl back to the table and set it next to Khan to serve himself.  “Sometimes, you must wonder what goes on in your poor husband’s mind, huh?” He took another bite of bread and slipped his feet back to their prior perch, looking sheepishly at Khan.  It was the little things like this that reminded him of how different he and Khan were, really.  The silly little human failings.

 

"It was a simple mistake." Khan said, clearly not thinking any less of Jim for it. "I was handling the spice mixture, you were not. So it was not part of your routine for cooking." Khan mixed in a few pinches of the spices into his bowl and let it stew for a moment before he sampled it again with a nod. After a few more bites, Khan traded his spoon for a chunk of bread, which he folded in such a way to use as a scoop to eat with. "But unrelated to your cooking, yes, I do wonder sometimes what is on your mind."

 

“What do you mean?” Jim asks, sprinkling some of the spices into his own bowl.  “I’m not keeping anything from you, Noonien.”  He hummed with satisfaction as the new flavor reached his tongue.  “Yeah, much better.”  His right foot rubbed little circles on Khan’s thigh, not trying to start anything, but showing care.

 

"Oh, I know." Khan purred affectionately, "You are very vocal. You do not keep secrets from me." Khan ate a little more before he elaborated, "I do not mean anything by it, other then I wonder sometimes, how far into the future you think about us, how amazed I am that you choose me, over a very different lifestyle. I hope to be enough to make you happy for a long time ..." Khan trailed off, choosing instead to eat a little more.

 

“I want us for as long as you’ll have me,” Jim said.  “When I was on the Enterprise, my planning was for what I was going to do once I met you again.  Everything is different now, but the one thing I know...I can’t be parted from you again, Noonien.  I won’t be.  Whatever we decide and however things work out, I won’t leave you unless you order me away because you don’t love me anymore or I'm dragged away by force.  And I don’t think you’d let anyone do the second...at least, not for long.”  

 

"No, Jim. I will not allow for either. I will never order you away. Nor will I allow you to be taken away." Not without a fight. Khan rubbed his free hand over Jim's foot again. Even if the reverse was true, even if Jim dismissed Khan, indicating that he had fallen out of love with him, there was no changing Khan's heart. He loved Jim Kirk, his human lover and companion and friend.

 

“So, the rest are the details, which is where the devil lies, I know,” Jim said, “but is not the main thing just the same.  You and I want to stick together, so we’ll find a way to make that happen.”  He pressed up into the gentle hand, smiling at Khan.  “I made my choice the day I heard that you needed my help.  I couldn’t say no, not to you, Noonien.  I guess I showed pretty well where my heart lay then.  And since, too.  You’ve gotten well, and that’s made me happy.”  He held Khan’s gaze and allowed him to see into his heart, holding nothing back from those ice eyes.  “So, whatever Starfleet decides, I’ll find a way to be happy with you.”

 

"Thank you, Jim." Khan said, pausing to place a hand over his heart and inclined his head. There was no doubting Jim's loyalty to him, in fact, there was no doubting their loyalty to one another. They were bound together for life. No matter if they followed Jim's path, or Khan's, it was one life, shared together.

 

“I love it when you’re regal,” Jim said with an imitation of the gesture.  “And you are always welcome, Noonien.  I never knew real love until I found you, and I’m not going to lose it.”  He dug back into his soup and bread, pausing a few pieces of fruit here and there.  “Yes, this is much better.”  The soup disappeared under his busy spoon, and he stood.  “Want seconds, Noonien?” he asked, his own bowl in his hand.  “I really am hungry tonight.”

 

"Half a serving, please." Khan shifted in his chair slightly as if to stand as well, but allowed Jim to provide in this way. "Thank you, husband." He said, watching him with a little smile. "I know I am old fashioned in many ways, but sometimes such formalities express what words cannot. I am relieved that you find it pleasing."

 

“One of many things about you I find rather pleasing,” Jim teased with a wink.  He served  Khan a half bowl more of soup and said, “Tomorrow, before we go out to work, I’ll call Starfleet.  We can talk about my options...and yours, if you’re serious about coming with me.  I have no idea what they’re going to say, honestly.  All the news from the Enterprise has been good, so it’s clear Spock can captain the hell of a ship, when he wants.  Still, he prefers Science, so it’s probably wrecking a lot of his experiments.  And I’m sure Bones is about ready to go through the roof.”  He grinned in memory of their legendary spats.

 

"Yes, Jim. Where you go, I go." Khan watched him and thanked him quietly for the second serving. "After speaking with Starfleet, we can discuss the best of our options." Khan waited for Jim to sit before he began to eat again. "I know you miss your people. And though technically, they can manage without you, the truth of it is, they need you."

 

“Problem is, the same thing can be said for your people, Noonien,” Jim said and shook his head a few times.  “We really are a pair, aren’t we?  But I think that’s why we work well together- one of the reasons anyway.  We understand each other so very much.  Nobody else knows what we feel about our families, though they’re not our blood.  Well, not in the traditional way anyway.”  He paused and stared at his husband for a long time, eyes warm.  “But you are my blood, Noonien.  Sometimes, I wish you had a bit of my blood, too.”

 

Khan looked across the table at Jim when he said this. His expression was somehow softer, less sharp or controlled. But he very clearly was not offended by the concept. In fact, there was some secret longing there was well. It was wrapped up in a touch of instinct, the part of him that wanted a child, that was half Khan, half Jim. Blood to both of them. A yearning Khan was always quick to push from his mind as soon it flared up. They were family to one another, and that was more then enough. "I wish that too, Jim." Khan said, "But I do not see that it is a possibility." Just as his body cleaned itself of diseases and adapted to harsh environmental changes, introducing something human to his system, something non-augmented would be immediately rejected and lost.

 

“No, I guess not, Noonien,” Jim said and reached out for one of Khan’s hands, even as he sat across from him at the table.  “It’s a dumb thing to wish anyway.  And I wouldn’t want you to get my blood the way I got yours...even though it was worth it in the end.  I still smell like family?” he asked.  “Beyond just like your husband?”  He knew the question was a silly one, since he did ask it fairly often, but he always enjoyed hearing the answer in the affirmative.   It always made him glow somehow, on the inside, even after all this time.

 

"I do not think it stupid." Khan kept his eyes lowered on their joined hands. "I became an invasive, but ultimately good, part of your life. Just as you have in mine. You did not ask for this connection between us, but now that you have it, you have welcomed it. As I would do the same, if it were possible." Khan drew his gaze up now, locking on Jim steadily. "You still smell like family, Jim. The imprint I have left in your blood and your bones and your cells, remains. Even though you cannot sense it, I am there, just under the skin. You cannot be rid of me, my Jim."

 

“I wish I could sense it,” Jim said, “but I’m happy you can.”  He stood and began to gather up the empty plates.  “Want any dessert?  Or shall we wait until after our walk?”  He carried the plates inside, knowing his husband would follow.  “I personally think we should wait until after.  Some exercise will give me an excuse to try the pound cake from the bakery.  With some of the preserved berries.  And maybe some of the whipped cream substance.”  He blushed a little and glanced back at his husband, hoping he was at least amused by Jim’s rambling.

 

It was so much different to have Jim in his life again like this, the constant, comfortable chatter, in contrast to Khan's silence. "Perhaps after," Khan said with a slight nod, "unless you wish to take it with us." Jim was a good companion, and brought an energy into his life that Khan appreciated and loved.

 

“Nah, after is fine,” Jim said.  “It will make an awesome midnight snack...and I expect to have worked up an appetite again by the time we return.”  He nodded in decision and placed their dirty dishes in the washer, after putting away all uneaten fruits and vegetables and doing a quick rinse.  “I don’t think I’ve ever been this neat in my life before.”  He pressed a kiss to Khan’s cheek and went back outside to fetch anything still remaining.  “It’s lovely out there.  I think we can walk a long way.  I want you to choose the route, if you will.  You know the area so much better than I, so you can choose which way to go for a relaxing walk, with nice scenery.  Though I may spend all my time looking at you.” He put away the last of the dishes, looked around with some satisfaction and went to fetch some shoes.  “This’ll be fun!”

 

"Are you showing off for me?" Khan asked, since being tidy didn't come naturally to Jim, apparently. On the Enterprise, Khan had always considered Jim well groomed and together, in the sense that he was always prepared and knew what was going on. "At any rate, the scenery is much more varied and exciting. I would not waste your time watching me; you see me all the time." Khan said with a little smile as he packed a bag with a few supplies, then wore the bag like a very tightly fitted vest between his shoulder blades. "I will take you as far as you want to go. If you want to stop, tell me."

   

“All the time,” Jim said, referring to both showing off and seeing Khan.  He noticed the bag and said, “You’re my loving boyscout.  Did you bring some water?”  He headed for the door, trusting that Khan did have everything they needed.  “I guess this is the first place I’ve ever lived, outside the Enterprise, that felt like home.  So, I have more incentive to take care of it, including cleaning up.”  He paused to fall into stride with Khan, taking a hand to hold while they walked.  “I like how long the evenings last here.”

 

"I have the appropriate supplies for our journey, yes." Khan held Jim's hand easily as they headed out, following a small footpath the gently sloped around the side of the mountain. "There is a great deal of light, even this time of year, even after the sun sets ... as you saw with our full moon, previously. As you have noticed, it benefits our productivity and working hours, but allows for the great diversity in vegetation this planet offers." Walking the two of them up the side of the mountain, Khan continued to talk about the environment and landscape, even though some of the subject material and facts were mentioned before in official reports to the Enterprise.

 

“Always so serious,” Jim teased softly and bumped into Khan.  He listened with his normal, intense interest to everything Khan was saying about the planet, loving both to learn and just to hear Khan talk.  They walked a long way, until the small town was well out of view.  “Let’s find a nice tree to sit under for awhile,” he said with a bright smile for his husband.  “We can ‘talk.'”  His bright eyes told Khan exactly what he meant by talk.

 

"Just a little further." Khan encouraged, clearly having a plan for them. Though now he did not waste his breath on speaking any further, but to scale a sheer slope of rock, finding the right places to step as easily as any mountain goat. It was a twenty foot climb, up to a solid plateau where a solitary tree clung to the rock face, roots exposed and stretching down over the edge in several directions like curly party ribbon. Here they could see a great expanse valley to one side, then the adjacent mountain range to the other.

“Oh, awesome!” Jim enthused and scrambled after him, nowhere near as graceful, but with obvious enjoyment.  He knew Khan would help him if anything went wrong, so just focused on making his own way up, rock by rock.  When they crested the top, he did a little dance of celebration for making it and then looked around them.  “Nice,” he breathed in appreciation and began making circles to see in every direction.  “Have you named everything already?  Cause I want to call the tall mountain in the far distance, Mount Khan.”

 

Khan smirked, looking at Jim out of the corner of his eye. "No, it has not been named." He said, moving behind his lover and husband, hands ghosting over his hips as he pressed a kiss to the back of his neck, then shared his sight of the far off mountain range. "Why my name? Why that one?" He asked, breathing in slowly, enjoying their closeness, even out in the open like this.

 

“It’s standing tallest and proudest among a lot of other tall, proud mountains,” Jim explained.  “So, it reminds me of you.”  He leaned back into his husband and grasped Khan’s hands to tug gently around his middle, fingers tangling.  “And Khan is a strong name anyway, a worthy name for a worthy mountain.”  His head tilted forward to invite more kisses and bites along his nape.  “The rest of the mountains you can name after your family.  The little peaks can be all the children.  Pikea’s Peak.”  He smiled a little at the idea.

 

"Pikea's Peak." Khan repeated back with a hum. The idea appealed to his pride, Khan, the tallest of them all, surrounded by his children, his family. The one to look up to. The one to endure through all time. Khan kissed the shell of Jim's ear, gently biting, before offering a few more kisses to his neck. "Thank you, Jim." At least here, Khan the mountain, would always be surrounded by his family. Just as Khan the mountain, could always stand guard and watchful over his people.

 

“Knew you’d like that,” Jim said with a shiver and then hummed contentedly as he continued to survey his surroundings, held tight in his husband’s arms.  “Tell me about the geological processes that formed those mountains, Noonien.  I know that your family has determined what they were, even if you haven’t named the mountains yet.  That’s the way you all are- damn scientific and sexy.  And there’s no better foreplay than to listen to you being  all intellectual and all-knowing.  When you’re not being annoying about it, that is.”  He threw a little teasing grin over shoulder, hoping his husband knew better than to take offense.

 

"Is that what you really want?" Khan purred now as his hand slipped under Jim's shirt to press flat against his stomach. But as asked, Khan began to relay little facts about the age of the mountain range, how long ago was the most drastic quake and continental shift, he even explain what natural minerals had already been found in this hemisphere, all the while keeping his hands on Jim and pausing between his speech to kiss or suck on Jim's skin.

 

Jim moaned and moved sensually against the body behind him.  He loved the drone of Khan’s voice in his ears, which spiked his desire, warmth through his veins.  “What I want is you,” he purred and dragged one of Khan’s hands down to feel the bulge of his groin, getting harder with every word.  “This is your version of speaking dirty to me, Noonien.  Unless you actually want to.  I wouldn’t mind listening to you tell me how you’re going to ravish me.  How you’re going to make me scream your name because I’m going to forget everything else in the universe except you.”  His loose clothes felt tight and constricting now, and he toed off his boots and socks to begin with, lifting one leg to rub the now bare foot over Khan’s calf.  “Keep talking either way.”

 

"Hmm ... dirty talk seems to come a little more naturally to you, my husband." Khan admitted before giving a little bite to the back of his neck as he squeezed the bulge through Jim's pants. "Though if you did scream my name, no one would hear you ... it would be for only my ears ... and I would quite like to watch and hear you let go, to become unhinged with pleasure." Khan gave another firm squeeze, keeping his stance behind Jim, taking on the lean of his weight with ease. "Tell me Jim- tell me, Captain-" he said, using this term as a means to indicate this could be made into a little bit of a game, "if you flew half across the universe and discovered our colony, would you still want me to bed you?"

 

“If only in the name of diplomatic relations,” Jim said with that patented, cocky grin.  But then it softened into something truer.  “Yeessss.  You’re gorgeous, Noonien, and the way you care about your family, go to all lengths to protect them...that just makes you more appealing.  I’d regret that I only had a short duration here to learn about your colony and establish ties with you, every day in diplomacy and every night in your bed, if you’d have me.  And I’d work hard to make sure you wanted me, Noonien.”  He pushed more into the hand on his groin, that first squeeze having made him groan wantonly.  “I’ll still do that.”

 

"Ah, diplomatic relations with augments? Dangerous and challenging work." Khan kissed the back of his neck with another purr, though slid his hand from Jim's stomach to the hem of his pants and began to undo the fastener while he carefully fondled him with his other hand from the outside. "But you are a worthy partner, and there would be great rewards for your efforts." He said, finally undoing his pants so that the opened up, allowing Khan to slip his hand inside and palm his erection. "I too would work very hard to please you." Khan gave a little groan, enjoying the heat that was building up against the palm of his hand.

 

“Dangerous?” Jim asked and thrust eagerly into the talented hand.  “How so dangerous?  Would you make evil demands of me, Noonien?”  He ducked his head a little, trying to look a bit afraid, but his body betrayed him with his excitement.  Besides, he didn’t really want to even pretend to be afraid of Khan right now, not while the other man holds him so intimately.  “I’d risk it for a good relationship with your people...with you.”

 

"Not evil demands, no-" Khan nipped gently at the lobe of his ear. His arms around Jim remained strong, his body warm as he kept them pressed close together. "But I would not settle for anything less then your best." He said, rubbing his trapped cock slowly, keeping the length of it stretched out against the palm of his hand, warm and secure. Khan gave a little purr against the back of his lover's neck, enjoying how Jim was his to hold and play with, to touch and taste. "My Jim-" he said, his voice low, almost drowsy with lust.

 

“I always give you my best,” Jim said and looped an arm over his neck, turning to bite and nibble at his chin.  “I can’t help myself that way, when it’s you.”  Not that he didn’t give his best for everyone, especially as a Starship captain.  

 

But here in this moment...

 

“I am yours,” he promised, letting his head fall forward to expose more of his neck for Khan to mark and nuzzle.  “And I want you to take me like I’m yours, Noonien.  Please.”  He pushed into the hand on his cock, which was gently teasing him to full hardness.  A loud moan escaped him, filling the mostly quiet night around them.

 

"Beautiful." Khan said in response to the way Jim moaned. "Will you be loud for me, my lover? I want my ears to ring with your cries of pleasure, keeping my name on your lips between gasping for air .... will you do that for me?" He said, pushing Jim from behind until they were closer to the sheer rock face that continued to climb upwards. Guiding one of his hands to the rock, Khan showed Jim how to support himself while Khan pushed his pants down a little further, hobbling him around his knees while he kept his arm hooked around Jim's middle so that he could stroke the length of his cock.

 

“As loud as you want,” Jim promised.  “Until I lose my voice and can’t be loud anymore.  You’ve done that to me before, made me hoarse from my yelling.”  He positioned himself as directed and then spread his legs as much as possible in his tangled pants.  “Fuck!” he yelled at the first full stroke over his length.  “Please!  Please, Noonien, touch me some more!”  He struggled to open himself even more for his lover.     

 

Leaning some of his weight against Jim's backside, Khan covered and protected Jim from behind. While his hands remained busy, one stroking him off steadily, while the other slid across his stomach, palm warm and fingers spread wide as they pushed up the front of his chest, holding him firmly. "I enjoy when you ask for me, Jim. It is quite the thrill, hearing that you still want me so strongly."

 

Jim’s head fell back to rest on one of Khan’s strong shoulders, hips thrusting as much as possible into the pleasurable grip.  “How can I help it?” he asked around deep breaths.  “You are my favorite drug, driving me to new highs every time.”  He bucked into Khan’s body, hoping to entice his lover to begin taking his own lover.  After all, the augment can go many more times than Jim himself, but he often felt that Khan never fully enjoyed all he could.  “Please, Noonien, I want this to be mutual.  It’s always better that way.  Please.  Don’t wait.”

 

Khan gave a little growl as he bit the back of Jim's neck, at the very base, just between his shoulder blades. Letting his hand drop away from stroking his lover, Khan undid the front of his pants just enough so that he could press his erection against the curve of Jim's ass. He wanted Jim to feel how hard and hot his skin was, how good he already felt, just to have Jim in his arms, touching him like this and making him moan. "It is always mutual, Jim. Can you not feel that? Can you not tell what you do to me, my husband?" In a juvenile gesture, Khan purposefully smacked this cock against Jim's ass, showing him just how hard and erect he was.

 

Jim loved it and groaned appreciatively, pressing back even harder against Khan.  “I want you inside me now, Noonien.  I can take it, and you should take all the pleasure you can.  As much as you want.”  He would have reached back to guide Khan to him, but obeying orders, he kept his hands on the rock wall.  “Please, take me slow and deep and hard.”  He shivered on a searing wave of pleasure and whined high in his throat.  Khan’s hands were devilishly good, but the feel of his cock, so close, and yet denied him, made Jim weak in the knees.  “Please,” he moaned again, putting some extra emphasis on the word.

 

Though he had packed some intimate supplies for them, now that they were out here, far from the village, up in the mountains, with nothing but the sky overhead, Khan was feeling the call to take Jim naturally. Instead of stopping to use lubrication, Khan wet two of his fingers with his mouth, before wiping the saliva over the head of his cock. It would be enough to ease some discomfort, but the feeling would still be raw. Not that Khan would abuse Jim like this. Instead, he rested the head of his cock against his entrance, letting himself press against the resistance until Jim opened up to him naturally.

 

Being very gentle with Jim like this, Khan felt the tip began to slip in, but then backed off the pressure so that the head fell away. Though this was then something he repeated, pressing against the tight ring of muscle until it began to give in, just starting to move in, before slipping out again. He worked Jim open like this a few times, adding more saliva as he went, until he felt his husband and lover could withstand being breeched entirely. Sliding the head of his cock inside the sweet tightness of his lover's body, Khan growled with pleasure, enjoying how Jim drew him in and swallowed him up, slowly, but steadily.

 

“Oh,” Jim groaned, when he realized Khan meant to take him au natural.  He rocked in Khan’s arms, not pressing for more than he thought his husband would be willing to give.  Given his own head, Jim would have just slammed back into the hard length and a damn the pain.  The end result would be worth it.  However, he knew Khan would have been upset to have caused him any distress, even if it was his own fault.

 

And there was something very hypnotic and delicious about the slow build-up, the press of Khan’s cock against his ass, finally working its way in.  He moaned every time the head pulled back out again, clenching against the loss.  But finally, Jim felt more than just the tip inside him, pressing deeper into his body.  He whined and finally pushed into the impalement, not wanting to lose their connection again.  “I’m ready,” he promised.  “Please, Noonien, I’m ready.”

 

"Very good, Jim, very good-" Khan breathed against his shoulder, kissing loving praises into his skin. Jim was right, he could take him. Rolling his hips, Khan began to bury himself inside his husband. His hands immediately returned to caressing the front of Jim's chest, and gently stroking his cock, keeping his movements slow and soothing and unforced. He took his time still, inching in deeper and deeper, nipping at Jim's skin at the tight fit. "Push back, Jim ... push back, if you can-" He said with a few encouraging kisses.

 

Jim braced himself and did as bade, feeling himself open up to the careful penetration.  He loved the praise from his husband, the soft, honeyed words that he could almost feel against his skin.  “Noonien,” he breathed out on a low moan and continued to try and meet every thrust with his own.  He loved the way Khan held him in his arms, in some ways more than their more intimate coupling.  On a last push back, he was completely filled and that was the best, the closest either of them could get physically to each other.  “Please.”

 

"My husband ... I love you." Khan said, keeping his lips pressed to the back of his neck, lingering as he breathed out gasps of pleasure. His mind was free and clear of all other thoughts. Never mind tomorrow, the uncertainty with Starfleet, and weather they would stay or they would go. Never mind potentially saying good bye to his people. The only thing on his mind in this moment was Jim Kirk, his willing body and encouraging tone.

 

Claiming his lover with steady thrusts, keeping himself deep inside, Khan shivered hotly, fingers curling in and arms tightening possessively. "My Jim ... my husband ..." He said, palming his stomach with one hand, "still mine."

 

“Always yours, Noonien,” Jim promised and turned his head to find his lover’s face and cheeks.  He sought out his mouth, wanting a kiss to seal their bodies closeness.  He also wanted to soothe and answer the possession he felt in the strong arms around his waist, pulling him closer.  “I won’t leave again,” he murmured assuringly.  “I promise, Noonien.  I’m with you now, for good and all.”  He wished his hands were free to touch and reassure his husband further, but they were needed to brace himself against the strong thrusts into his ass.  Khan would never hurt him, but his power was evident in every press into Jim.

 

Despite the awkwardness of how they were standing, the kiss was very much needed and encouraged. Khan hummed into Jim's mouth, kissing him deeply, enjoying the taste of him on his lips. And for the way his brain worked, it was very soothing. It was enough to relax the augment, allowing his nerves to drown in the pleasures of his lover's body. In a way, it was a simple thing, the difference between turning an energy source from off, to on. In one heightened sensation, Khan was reduced to groaning against Jim's skin, coming quickly into his body. Pawing at his hips and his stomach, Khan struggled to keep Jim close as he spilled into his body. Hot and slick with his seed, Khan worked through his own orgasm, taking Jim harder now.

 

Both Khan’s orgasm and responding increase in all aspects of their love-making drove Jim over the edge with him.  Making Khan come first always pleased Jim, since it was not an easy task with his husband’s augmented stamina.  He can feel all of the excess seed, so much of it, squeezing out of him with every additional thrust.  But Khan is still hard, and Jim hopes he remains that way, not wanting this to end yet.  Even though his own pleasure has spiked, and still coursed through him in shiver-inducing waves, he wanted more.

 

“Again!” Jim pleased from Khan.  “I want you again, Noonien.  I know you can take me again! Let me see your face this time?  Please!”

 

"Yes, Jim-" Khan said with a hungry growl. "Again, and again ..." His fingers curled into Jim's hips, digging in with every deep thrust. He would never mean to cause Jim pain, but he did want to hear him cry out, he wanted to feel his lover come apart and be reduced to a moaning, erotic mess. Begging for more, even after having too much. Chanting his name, unable to manage any other sounds.

 

"You take me so well, Jim-" He said, petting one hand down the center of his back, fingers dancing over the ridge of his beautifully curved spine. His fingers clawed at Jim's back, leaving small pink scratch lines that then quickly faded. He gave another soft growl before he pulled out and turned Jim in place suddenly to face him. To anyone else, it might appear that Khan had a dangerous look to him, but to Jim, who knew him, it was a look of focus and desire. "Kiss me, my love, and I will take you again." He said with a dark tease, pulling his chin up to make Jim work for it, while one hand busily went back to stroking his lover, wanting to keep him pleasured.

 

Jim whined a little at the continued stimulus, even though his cock did respond and begin to harden again in that tormenting hand.  His skin stung where Khan had scratched and bruised him, and Jim knew some areas would sport those marks for awhile, given how the augments’ strength.  He loved them for that, though, loved the visible signs of Khan’s regard.  He saw that in the almost dark expression on Khan’s face, as well, which made a part of him shiver and another part rejoice.  He had all of his husband’s intense focus tonight.

 

He answered the demand for a kiss, though he started with Khan’s neck, which he left exposed by raising his head.  He mouthed and sucked at the skin, before biting down at the tendon.  He also kissed, open-mouthed and wet, everywhere he could reach.  He nipped demandingly at Khan’s chin and then wrapped both hands on his cheeks, struggling to get him down for a passionate kiss.  He would earn what he’d asked for.

 

"Yes." Khan purred low, watching Jim out of the corner of his eye. Another hot shiver shot through his body as Jim bit down and he groaned with approval. The kiss between them was then wild and passionate, deep and loving and exploring. Their mouths did not break, even as Khan wrapped his arms around Jim's middle and lifted him up onto his hips. Though not wanting to damage his human lover by pinning him against the rock face like this, Khan simply held him like this with ease, kissing him with a pleased moan.

 

Again the supplies he had brought along in the bag went ignored. Instead of putting down a blanket for them, Khan instead lowered himself to his knees, still keeping Jim in his arms and around his hips, until he made contact with the ground and Jim was carefully balanced on his lap. "Jim- guide me in ... let me have you again."

 

“Fuck, you’re so strong, Noonien,” Jim gasped and gripped his shoulders tightly to steady himself for a moment.  “I want you to have me again.”  He reached beneath himself to find Khan’s erection and ease it into position.  “Just lower me down on you, Noonien.  I’m ready and open and wet…”  He leaned in to kiss Khan as best he could from his current position.  “And I’m empty and aching.  Please, don’t make me wait.”

 

"You say such dirty, wonderful, things-" Khan grinned. With Jim's aid, Khan found his way back inside his lover with ease, sliding in to the hilt with a groan. His nerves were still quite raw and Jim's body was still so tight and warm. Khan ricked Jim on his lap, arms securely around him as they kissed again, pleased by their union and also by being able to look Jim in the eye. He could better see this way if Jim was unhappy with their lovemaking, or if he was being pushed too far, or if in fact it was exactly what he was after.

 

Jim wrapped his arms around Khan’s neck and kissed back, breathing hard with each thrust into his body.  “Don’t have to do anything, do I?” he asked on a low moan, sharing Khan’s breath.  “Just let you move me up and down at your will, for your pleasure.  I’m all yours.”  His legs were spread wide in Khan’s arms, as his ass was plundered hard and deep by his lover’s cock.  Every time that long intrusion pressed against his prostate, he loosed a long, loud cry, which meant all the time.  He was soon panting for air in Khan’s arms, the pleasure driving him to new heights.

 

"Yes?" Khan teased with little bites at Jim's lips, "You enjoy being mine, don't you, Jim? Knowing that I will always want you, always desire to have you over and over again? That you are mine to fuck?" He said with a little growl. Khan was not prone to swear words, but he knew Jim liked it sometimes when he was a little less refined. Each grind of his hips pushed Khan to dig deep into his lover's body, widely fixated on Jim as he cried out. "Yes, Jim ... Yes."

  

“Yes!  I love being yours!” Jim yelled.  “I want you deeper, Noonien!  Want to be claimed by you!  Fuck, it’s so good!  I’m completely yours!  Can’t do anything!  Noonien!”  His head fell back on a series of incoherent cries, verbal skills garbled by the intensity of their physical interactions.  He tightened his hold around Khan’s neck and shoulders, wanting the anchor.  His body was bounced faster and harder by his husband, and he knew he was going to ache tomorrow.  But it was so worth it.  “Noonien!” he cried again, knowing his husband wanted to hear nothing but his name.  

 

It was completely what Khan needed to hear. He continued to thrust against Jim on his lap, until the position wasn't enough. With his lover in his arms, Khan pushed him to the ground, sliding into his body over and over. The heat of their bodies together like this drove Khan wild. He kissed Jim soundly, silencing him for a moment as he held him down, every inch of him going suddenly still as he spilled himself deep inside once more. Though breeding with Jim would never result in offspring, there was something in Khan's engineering that still kept trying. "Husband." He groaned at last, allowing them both to breathe once his second orgasm began to recede.

 

Jim let out a gasp into Khan’s mouth as his back hit the ground and then wrapped his legs around his hips.  He could feel the rough dirt and rock digging into his skin and knew that there would be some damage, but the road burn was worth the intense fucking.  Though there was so much more to it than fucking.  He read that in the fire burning in Khan’s eyes, the deep need that maybe Jim could never completely fulfill.  But he’d try.

 

When Khan filled him with seed for a second time, Jim rode it out the whole way and felt each of the waves as they left his husband and entered him.  His own cock was still hard between them, even as his husband stilled above her and they both slowly panted themselves back to a normal breathing rate (taking a lot longer for Jim than Khan).  “Husband,” he agreed softly and kissed Khan’s cheek.

 

Working his hands under Jim's shoulder blades, Khan held him carefully as he looked down at him, eyes locking, then searching. He knew he had begun to get a little rough near the end, so instead of with words, began to show Jim his love and care by kissing his skin, all over. The side of his face and neck, down to his shoulders and across his chest, kissing and nuzzling his skin, hoping to distract him from any pains his might have, but also to show he was very much adored.

 

Jim smiled back at Khan and murmured, “Oh, that’s nice, Noonien,” as his lover pressed kisses all over his torso and neck.  He rubbed his still hard cock a little against Khan’s skin, humming softly in pleasure.  “Love you so much, husband.”  He slid his hands into the soft, long black locks of Khan’s head and stroked tenderly.  “Please, Noonien.  Let me come?”

 

"Yes, Jim ... what do you need ... tell me ... what can I do ... I want you to find release." Khan said, kissing him slowly, one hand gently moving around to the front of his chest. "Tell me Jim. What do you need." Jim would always be safe and loved and well taken care of in Khan's arms, and that would never change.

 

“May I just rub against you?” Jim asked.  The arms now holding him off the ground would prevent him from injuring his back any further.  He wiggled a little against his husband.  “I’d like to spill between us, feel it spread on our skin.  Like I can feel your seed leaking out of me.”  He tightened his ass a little, wanting to hold as much of it in as possible.  “I don’t want to lose any of you.”  Rubbing over his back, he arched up into his mouth and touch.  

 

"Yes, Jim." Khan let some of his weight sink down against Jim, keeping their stomachs pressed close and giving Jim's erection some friction to rub against. "I am here, my husband." He groaned softly, even as he felt some slickness begin to drip out, Khan gave a gentle roll of his hips to keep himself pushed inside, maintaining their union, not wanting to risk slipping out. "Rub against me. Touch yourself. Allow me to watch you, Jim."

 

Jim groaned deep in his throat as Khan moved inside of him again.  “Fuck.  You’re still so big.”  He thrust up into Khan’s stomach, as much as he could move, which also meant pressing into the impalement.  The rock hard abdomen against which he rutted worked beautifully to bring him off in a very few minutes.  His second load was almost as copious as his first, which remained splattered all over the rocks.  This spread between them, as he desired, painting both of their skins and coating even more as he kept up his frantic movements.  “NoonienNoonienNoonien!” he slurred.

 

All the while, Khan whispered loving praises to Jim's skin, kissing and licking as Jim squirmed against him. "Beautiful, Jim ... oh- gorgeous." He purred, keeping his own movement fluid, moving with Jim to help get him off. "So good, Jim." Khan said, rocking them both slowly to help Jim ride it out. He smiled, but it was subtle, and he soon hid it as he buried his face into Jim's neck, breathing in his scent deep into his lungs.

 

Jim slumped wearily into Khan’s arms, the last few hours taking the rest of his energy out of him.  “Wow.  I think my muscles have all turned to jelly.”  He stroked through Khan’s hair again, turning his head to allow Khan to bury his face even more in his neck and shoulder.  “You always wear me right out, Noonien.”  He chuckled lightly and settled his head more comfortably on the ground.  “We didn’t even use any of the supplies we brought.  You were a wild animal, my husband.”

 

Khan blinked a few times at these words. Pulling his head back, Khan took the time to meet Jim's eyes, sharp and searching. "Did I misunderstand you, Jim? You said you wanted me, that you did not want to wait ..." Khan sat back a little, giving Jim some space to breathe, even though he was still wedged between his thighs. "Did I get it wrong? I'm sorry-" Khan frowned and apologized immediately.

 

Jim reached up and stroked his cheeks, shaking his head.  “It was amazing, Noonien.  I loved every second of it.  I didn’t mean it as criticism at all.  I love that you gave me what I asked for...and that you wanted me that much.”  He smiled at him reassuringly and said, “I wouldn’t mind moving to the blanket now though.  The ground is a little hard to keep lying on.  And I’d like to lie with you for awhile longer...if you like.”

 

With a nod, Khan removed the tightly fitted pack from between his shoulders and set it down beside them on the ground. Removing the blanket, it quickly began to fluff up in the open air to something soft and warm. After laying it out just beside them, Khan drew Jim back up into his arms and carefully inched both their bodies over to the blanket where he helped Jim lay out, giving his back a rest. "We can stay as long as you want. And when you are ready, I will carry you home." He said, petting his hand over Jim's chest, wanting him to be comfortable.

 

“Carry me home?” Jim murmured and then smiled lazily at his husband.  “Do you want to carry me home, Noonien?  Feel me tucked safe in your arms and against your chest?  Knowing I won’t be going anywhere, since you have me so tight?”  He hissed a little as he shifted on one of the sores on his back.  “I’d like that, I think, if you don’t mind.  I can walk.”  He settled again and smiled sweetly at his husband.

 

"Yes, Jim. You are tired and sore. I will carry you home." He continued to offer a few more kisses to Jim's bare skin. In a way, he was still apologizing, even though Jim had attempted to reassure him that everything was good. After a minute or so, Khan rested his head on the center of Jim's chest, keeping him warm while laying still, even though his mind was now a storm of thoughts rushing and colliding.

 

"Tomorrow." He began quietly. "After we speak with Starfleet. No matter what is said or decided, I would like to treat you to something ... special."

 

Jim tried his utmost to reassure his husband that their coupling had been very much to his liking, responding to the kisses and touching and then holding him when he stilled.  He stroked Khan’s hair and back in quiet enjoyment, startled out of his own pleasant thoughts by Khan’s words.  “Hmmm?  Something special?  This night has been something rather special already,” he said.  “But your ideas are usually amazing, so I won’t say no.  Are you going to make me wait to know what you’re planning?”

 

"Yes, I am going to make you wait." Khan smiled a little to himself. Now that Jim had consented to the idea, without knowing what it was, he lifted his head and kissed his sweetly on the mouth. Tomorrow would be a difficult day, no matter what was decided. But he would ensure that it was ended well. He gave a purr as Jim continued to pet his hair, calm and otherwise quiet as he laid there with his lover.

 

“Tease,” Jim said with a smile for his husband.  It was something he seldom got to call the serious augment.  He loved to see flashes of the humor he knew Khan possessed, but rarely showed.  “Well, now, I’m going to spend all night speculating.”  His fingers dug a little deeper to encourage that purr, which brought him a great deal of comfort as well.  “Would it be safe to sleep under the stars?  I hate even the thought of leaving here right now.  It’s perfect.”

 

"Yes Jim, it is safe." Khan answered, sitting up a few inches so that he could pet his hand over Jim's torso and down his legs. He was checking to ensure that Jim was still warm, that nothing was exposed that would cause him trouble later on. "Will you be warm enough?" He asked, settling over him again, the weight of his own body acting as a great insulator, providing warmth and protection. Even if there were dangers here, Khan was more then capable to protect Jim from them. As it was, the carnivorous animals on the planet that had so far been discovered were restricted to the oceans, only. "Will you be able to sleep?"

 

Jim cups Khan’s cheek and leans in for a tender kiss, sucking at his husband’s tongue and projecting all his affection for him into the contact.  “You’re keeping me plenty warm, Noonien.  And we can always curl up in this blanket, if we have to.”  He chuckles softly and says, “Guess it is a stupid question to ask if I’m safe when you’re here with me.  What would dare endanger me?”  He tucks himself comfortably into Khan’s arms and thinks of all the away missions where he wasn’t safe, of the planets both hot and cold, the unfriendly natives, the allergies, the natural disasters, and it makes him smile to think of how fragile Khan views him to be.  But he doesn’t mind in this moment, to an augment, his nature is very weak.  Khan loves him anyway.  It’s a heady thing.

 

"Anything you want, Jim."

 

It is beautiful and dark in the mountains. And after a few hours, Khan pulls at the blankets to tuck certain edges in, wanting to keep Jim warm. Khan is attentive to his husband, meeting every kiss, or sleepy fingers trying to clutch onto him. It is perfectly quiet, with only the moon and the stars overhead, bright to their eyes, but so far away. Khan knows that Jim is a sort of bright star too, that he belongs among them. Even though he will miss his family, the ground beneath his feet and the sun against his face, Khan knows it isn't right to keep Jim here. So he kisses his husband, even as he sleeps. And whispers devoted words to him, pressing them into his skin as a promise.

 

Jim slept peacefully for the most part, lulled by Khan’s presence and the peaceful surroundings.  He woke once when Khan presses a kiss to his mouth, smiling and murmuring nonsensical happiness.  “Are you still awake?” he slurred sleepily, eyes at half-mast.  “Planning to stay wake all night?”  He untangled an arm from blanket and husband to tug playfully at Khan’s hair.  “Should get some sleep, to, Noonien.  Even if you’re an augment.”  He shifted closer to him and pressed a kiss to his neck, warm and content.  “Please?”

 

"Yes, Jim." Khan said quietly, not wanting to pull Jim too much further out of his sleep by having more of a conversation with him. "I will." He gave a sigh and kept their faces pressed close together. One hand cupped the side of Jim's face, offering a bit of support so that sleeping like this did not put such a strain on his neck. His fingertips lightly petted and massages his scalp, wishing his husband to return to sleep.

 

Jim sighed and settled again in Khan’s arms, eyes still a little open.  “Liar,” he teased, smiling faintly.  “You wanna watch me all night.”  He didn’t mind that idea in the slightest, except that Khan should sleep some.  If he was more awake, it would have worried him more, the idea of how little Khan might actually rest.  But in this mostly asleep state, he was too comfortable and feeling too loved to note anything unpleasant.  “Kiss?” he asked.

 

"Kiss." Khan echoed back, offering his lips slowly. The kiss was meant to be warm and hypnotic, helping to clear Jim's mind of any worries. Despite wanting to watch over Jim during the night, to ensure he was warm and comfortable and safe every minute, Khan would obey Jim's request.

 

Jim chuckled into the joining of their mouths at the verbal response of his husband, but that soon faded into desire and heat at the prolonged contact.  He stirred under Khan and wrapped his arms more firmly around his shoulders, left leg lifting to coil over his lover’s body.  “Noonien,” he whispered and arched up, lazy, but wanting.  His cock stirred between them, reacting to the way Jim rubbed against Khan’s strong body.  “Will you?”

 

Khan arched his neck to look back, seeing how Jim had locked himself around his body once more. "Jim." He half purred, half scolded. His hand slid down his strong thigh, then back up to his hip. "You want me again, husband? Shall I make love to you, so gently you forget by morning if it was real or a dream?" Khan whispered, kissing Jim again, sucking softly at his lips.

 

“Yes,” Jim whispered and spread his legs around Khan’s hips.  “Gentle this time.”  Khan’s words, and the tone, woke him that little more, as he strained toward his husband.  His hips tilted up in invitation, wanting the non-intrusion of Khan inside him again.  He longed for the connection with his husband in this very early morning, warmth and desire twisting in his stomach.  Khan could be very forceful and demanding in his love-making, or very sweet.  And Jim longed for that sweetness in this half-hazy moment.

 

Scooting closer so that he was curled over Jim, kissing his face and mouth softly, Khan reached with his free hand towards the bag he had brought along. Blindly, he found the container of lube and spilled some liberally between his fingers, which he rolled around in his hand, warming it up. Then slowly, making sure his kisses were more of a distraction then his fingers, Khan began to soothe and massage the cleft of Jim's ass, taking care with the tender skin, letting only the pad of his thumb brush over the tight muscle, for now just getting it wet and warm.

 

Jim moaned in soft appreciation and rubbed against the delicious fingers teasing at his opening.  He did find the kisses distracting, however, and continued them eagerly.  Steadily coming more awake, he reached for the lubricant himself, wanting to anoint his husband, since he had not been able to do so earlier.  In fact, he’d barely even seen Khan’s cock earlier that night, so intense had his husband been.  “Want to touch you,” he breathed.

 

"Of course, husband. I am yours to touch." Khan said, giving his consent with a nod. Steady he continued however, massaging the tender and sore muscle between his legs. He knew Jim's body quite well, he knew what vein to stroke and stimulate to get his erection to grow further, he knew how to tease his ass, so that slipping a finger in was easy, not forced. He knew how deeply he could kiss Jim before he needed to give him time to breathe. And he knew how to moderate his tone, so that his words were loving, not demanding.

 

Jim loved how well Khan knew him, the best lover he has had in a sea of them, the only one he wanted to keep.  This level of intimacy was new to him with Khan, something never allowed with any of his momentary conquests.  It scared him sometimes how well Khan really did know him, but he tried to learn his husband just as well.  He sometimes stumbled over his words still, eliciting unexpected responses from Khan, especially when he was trying not to be serious.  

 

Right now, he focused on getting the lubricant from the little tube Khan had brought with them, smearing it all over his fingers.  He reached between them to stroke and caress the beautiful length of his lover, wanting to feel it pulse and grow for him.  His touch lingered, now that he had the opportunity, savoring the weight and breadth and size.  “So impressive,” he murmured, still slurring his words a little.

 

Khan smiled abruptly at this compliment. It was a foolish thing to be proud of, but the way Jim said it and the way he was touched make Khan feel like it was more then just the size of his cock that Jim found impressive, but everything about his manner. His erection swelled easily at the touch, coming to life quickly after a night of lovemaking. His nerves were still sharp, so Jim's caressing touches were very much welcome. "Very good, Jim." Khan said, kissing the side of his face as he eased a finger in, letting the muscle envelop the digit up to the first, then second knuckle.

 

“You like to say I’m good,” Jim said and arched into the finger, passage already a bit loosened from the prior activities.  “Guess that’s complimentary.”  He nipped playfully at Khan’s lips and chin, before kissing him more deeply.  He thumbed over the head of Khan’s erection, playing with the slit and glans knowingly.  “Don’t need much prep, love.  Just want you.”

 

"Of course you need it." Khan countered. "You are deserving of my gentle attention, not just the intense sort." So even though he knew Jim wanted more, Khan remained insistent on keeping things unrushed, fingering him steadily, ensuring that his muscles remained relaxed and unstrained by the effort of taking him again so soon. "And you are good, Jim. The way you move is beautiful to me, the rate at wish your heart beats and you take each breath, it is a delight. When I look at you Jim, I see no flaws. Only good things. Everything that I love about you."

 

Jim smiled up at him and touched his face with his unengaged hand, stroking over his cheek and mouth.  “All right.  I do like your hands deep inside me.”  He stroked Khan a little more gently himself, not wanting to get Khan hot too fast either.  He pulled off with a bit of Khan’s precome on his fingertips and cleans them off playfully in front of his husband.  “I’m lucky you like my flaws,” he said.  “I know I’m not perfect, but I want to for you.”  

 

"There is no need for you to change, my husband." Khan pressed their lips together to distract him again as he pulled his finger carefully out. This time, as he sucked at his lips, he pressed the head of his cock into his lover, letting Jim take him in. "You are my friend and companion. You are my lover and husband. I will follow you, Jim, to the edges of the universe. You are what my heart wants, and needs, just as you are." He said, hooking his arms around Jim's shoulders and the back of his neck so that their bodies were wrapped around each other in such a way, that united like this, they were two parts of a circle, made whole.

 

“Fuck that’s so good,” Jim whimpered and pushed himself into Khan, taking his lover in at his own speed.  He wrapped his legs tight around his husband’s hips to complete their joining and kissed his lover sweetly.  He pushed up into his husband to encourage him to thrust, slow and deep.  Eyes closed in bliss, he relished this last round, the slow, deep, passionate and almost lazy in a way.  But somehow that made it all the better.  “Noonien,” he whispered.  “I love how you feel inside me.  I can feel every inch of you.  So many inches.  So deep.”

 

Slowly rocking their bodies together, Khan hummed lowly, nuzzling their faces together. This style of lovemaking was more about maintaining a union. It kept Jim open and vulnerable, but it also showed just how well Khan cared for his lover, filling him up, finding all the empty and lonely places inside his body, and offering himself up instead.

 

Petting Jim's hair as he had done before, kissing the side of his face and whispering to him, Khan remained soothing and gentle. He almost wanted to lull Jim back to sleep, to find peaceful bliss while Khan made love to him. "Yes, Jim." He said, kissing his neck, voice soft against his skin, "I am apart of you."

 

“You are,” Jim affirmed.  “An intergral part of me.  And I want to be part of you, Noonien.  Deep in your heart.” He clung a little tighter to Khan’s strong back and tried to put all that he could into their joining.  Their movements were slow, almost drugging to the tired mortal, but he wouldn’t trade them for anything.  Khan rubbed against his prostate, instead of drilling it like he had earlier, so that the pleasure built in waves, instead of being overwhelmed by it all at once.

 

Jim answered Khan’s hums with his own, blending their voices, along with their bodies.  His pores opened and exuded a sweaty musk, which filled their nostrils, so close was it within their blanket and bodies.  He whined and tightened once on Khan, before releasing again to enjoy the slow build.  “Noonien.”

 

It was a strong contrast for the augment, from the fresh night air around them, to the warm musk of their bodies pressed together. It always had a powerful effect on Khan. From the moment he first stepped out of the holding chamber on the Enterprise and caught scent of Jim, all these many years later, with their bodies lovingly locked together, Khan was completely captivated by Jim.  "Yes, Jim ... yes. I have you." He assured, wanting Jim to lose himself in the pleasure of it. He groaned softly, keeping his nose pressed to Jim's neck, "My husband. I love you."

 

Jim didn’t want to finish, wanted their moments to linger as long as possible.  He lost the humming and began to whine with every new thrust.  His breath came in deep, delighted gasps, hands rubbing over Khan’s warm skin.  “Love you, too,” he promised.  “More than anything in my life, Noonien.”  He slid his grip up, one hand clasping the back of Khan’s head to keep him pressed into his neck.  “Wish you could feel how much.  Fuck!  So good!  Please!”

 

"Shh- shh-" Khan attempted to soothe. Instead of speeding to meet Jim's oncoming climax, Khan began to slow his movements even further. Remaining deep inside his lover, giving his body something to clamp down and tighten around. "Oh, Jim ... love being lost in your body. Even after you come, I am going to remain buried inside your sublime body, my husband." Khan purred, enjoying how Jim held the back of his head to keep him pressed close.

 

“Don’t want to be done so son,” Jim complained with a soft whine.  “You’re too good at this.”  He laughed at his own ridiculousness a moment later and kissed Khan’s crown.  He forced himself to slow and still, too, until they were merely entwined, Khan deep inside him and his aching cock pressed tight between them.  His breaths slowly evened out, as he inhaled deeply of Khan’s scent, pressing his face close to his head.  “You smell like home to me, too, Noonien.  And feel like home...but I want you back with me in the stars.”

 

Careful not to move too much, Khan gave a simple nod. "I know, Jim." He nuzzled his face in again, encouraging Jim to keep petting the back of his head and hair. "I will follow you there." Closing his eyes, Khan offered a few carefully placed, almost submissive kisses to the line of Jim's jaw. Even if Starfleet didn't want him back, Khan would find a way to return Jim to the Enterprise, or if not, they would return to the stars on their own terms.

 

Jim shuddered and said, “I feel greedy, asking you to leave your home and your people for me.  It’s beautiful here, and you’re happy.  I can stay here, with you, make a home and settle down.  Hell, maybe someday we’ll even find a way to have kids.  Fuck, no idea what kind of dad I’d make, but I’ll try.”

 

"No, Jim." Khan said, lifting his head to that he could look him in the eye as he spoke. Those sharp blue eyes were loving, but unyielding. "It is true, we can make a home together, anywhere. But you do not belong here, and ... the more time that passes, the more I see that I do not belong here either. We will return to the stars, you and I, together."

 

“How can you not belong here, grandfather?” Jim asked, studying the expression in those eyes.  “Everyone loves you so damn much.  Respects you with every breath.”  He cupped Khan’s face and stroked over those amazing cheekbones.  “Your belief did this, Noonien.  More so than anything else.”  He leaned in for a kiss, soft and lingering.  

 

"I represent the past. The old way of thinking. My leadership and willpower got us to this point, but it is time that I let go. My people need a new leader, someone to represent the future." Khan did not want to unintentionally hold his people back. He wanted them to be free, even if that meant being free of his rules as well. For a moment, Khan appeared choked on his next few words. "I adore the children. I wish they were mine, sometimes. But they are not. And it is important that they become bonded to their parents, rather then build another generation devoted and loyal to me, as it had been in times of war. They deserve better. All of them."

 

Jim frowned a little, saddened by Khan’s words, but knowing the augment will not change his mind.  “Will you help them decide on a new leader then?” he asked, tightening his hold, both legs and arms, on his husband again.  He wanted to give him as much support as possible, if this be his final decision.  “And then you and I will be together, in the stars.  We’ll find our own way, no matter what comes.”

 

"I will help with the transition. But the decision must be theirs." Khan sighed deeply, but settled over Jim again, hugging him closely. His hips rolled forward naturally, keeping himself from slipping out of his lover, before he then stilled again. "They will always be my family. And I hope that they will always welcome us home with open arms ... but for now, this is the right thing."

 

Jim made a soft grunt at the movement and bit lightly at Khan’s shoulder.  He smiled as their bodies found a natural slot against each other and kissed the fading bite mark.  “I don’t think you’ll ever be anything but welcome here, Noonien,” he soothed.  “And family is always family...even when we wish they weren’t.”  He nuzzled at Khan’s face and closed his eyes.  “I just don’t want you to make this decision because it’s what you think I want.  I don’t want to come between you and your family.”

 

"I know, Jim." With their faces pressed together, Khan closed his eyes as well. He appeared relaxed, except for when he licked his lips, nearly able to taste the scent of his husband in the air between their bodies. It was his favourite sort of intoxication. "Shh-" He said, not wanting to talk about it anymore, not when they were so intimately intertwined.

 

Jim inched forward to kiss Khan’s mouth and slid his tongue into the warmth, asking to explore.  He loved the flavor of their kisses, how familiar Khan was to him now.  And far from growing bored, he believed his got more addicted with every exchange.  He lifted his hips minutely to maneuver his husband inside him and squeezed delicately to encourage him to move again.  “I want to finish what we started,” he encouraged his husband softly.  “Make love to me one more time under the stars?”

 

Khan hummed with approval at the kiss, enjoying the tease of their tongues together, sucking and slowly twisting together. Grinding his hips against Jim, the two began to move together once more, Khan never taking more from Jim then his body would yield after such an intense day of lovemaking. Though one arm remained hooked around his back and shoulder, keeping them fixed tightly together, his free hand began to slid down to his hip and stomach, just touching the skin, wanting Jim to feel good all over.

 

Jim’s eyes fluttered with pleasure at the gentle touches to his body, Khan’s fingers long and knowing.  His hands explored with equal care the long stretch of his husband’s back and the perfect globes of his ass.  There is no better sensation than being rocked ever-so-sweetly into his lover, moving together with only the most lazy of efforts.  Made even lazier by Khan’s strength and Jim’s remaining sleepiness.  It was lovely, a slow building fire, rebanked and now, kindled into something even warmer inside.  “Noonien.”

 

"Yes, Jim." Khan began to brush light kisses over Jim's neck and jaw, before giving a gentle bite to his ear lobe. His hand slid up the front of his chest, feeling the expanse of his rib cage as he breathed, before sliding back down to thumb over the head of his cock. "Please ... say my name again." He whispered, nipping at his jaw. It was ecstasy to linger inside his lover for so long, the heat building in his own veins, throbbing and hard, lost inside the other man.

 

“Noonien,” Jim said and drawled out every syllable into a long, loving murmur.  His skin tingled under the tender touches, and Jim swore he could feel the trail they left long after they moved on.  The effect was that Jim’s entire front felt warm all over.  And then it moved over his cock and touched, squeezed perfectly.  “Oh, Noonien.”  He whined a little and wriggled into the hand, asking for more and gaining himself additional pleasure from the cock deep inside him.

 

"Yes-" Khan growled softly, it was a touch possessive, but he was not being rough with Jim. Instead, his thrusts remained carefully controlled, deep and smooth. Trapping the head between his thumb and pointer finger, Khan stroked him in rhythm with each roll of his hips. "Once more, Jim ..." Under the stars, they belong to each other. There were no rules of what they were meant to be, not the weight of Starfleet or of Khan's people, just what they were to one another.

 

Jim chuckled low in his throat, responding to the claim of his husband.  A strangled moan escaped him at the grip on his most sensitive area.  He couldn’t help but thrust helplessly into that hand, which now worked him perfectly.  And since he was being driven toward his final orgasm of the night, he used his body to urge Khan toward his, manipulating and undulating on his lover.  “Come with me, Noonien.  Don’t let me go alone.  Please.”

 

The heat twisted in the pit of his stomach, pooling behind his hips. "Yes, Jim-" Khan breathed, letting himself slide in and out, head bowed down as he watched his length disappear into his lover over and over. Licking his lips again, Khan bowed his head down and began to nip and kiss at the front of Jim's chest, needing a taste of him on his tongue. "Yes-" He groaned, forcing himself to slide in slowly one last time before his orgasm pulsed out of him, thighs trembling at the effort to keep calm and still and gentle for his lover.

 

In the end, Jim went with Khan instead, spilling between them once more, though not nearly as much as earlier that night.  He was only human, after all, but the sensations were greater than ever, as they had built this up, slow and sure and Khan’s tenderness made something ache inside Jim.  “Thank you, Noonien,” he murmured, even as he shook to completion in his husband’s arms.  “I love you so much.”  He kissed his lover’s mouth sweetly and then pressed their foreheads together gently.

 

With a purr, Khan wiped some of the slick from his fingers over Jim's chest, then licked it off slowly, savouring the little bit of cum that Jim managed this time. "My husband." He said, nuzzling the side of his face against his skin once it was clean. "Now, will you be able to sleep a little longer?" He asked, carefully pulling at the edges of the blanket again so that he remained warm for the remainder of the night, until sunrise.

 

Jim made a muzzy noise and curled into Khan’s chest contentedly.  “Oh yes, I’m going to sleep very well now.  And let you carry me home without a peep.”  He blinked sleepily at his husband, looking incredibly young, vulnerable and even innocent.  This was helped by how trustingly he pressed himself into his husband and settled down.  

 

"Good." Khan settled as well, cupping one hand against the back of Jim's head, holding him close and warm in his arms. Once they left the planet, all his fierce worry about keeping his family safe would now be directed towards Jim. Weather he needed it or not, Jim Kirk had an augmented super-soldier as his lover, friend, and protector. He would always be taken care of, in every way Khan knew how.

 

 


	23. Path Back to the Stars

After hours of speaking with Starfleet or rather, sitting beside Jim and showing support by listening and answering questions when asked, a final solution was decided upon. Kirk would be allowed back on the Enterprise, though disciplinary action would still be taken against him, it was minor in comparison to stripping him of his rank or forbidding him from returning to the Enterprise, or Starfleet.

 

It was settled. They would leave. Together.

 

Khan would be allowed full benefits and rights as Kirk's legal spouse, and therefore, allowed on the Enterprise as a civilian. That is, until his paperwork for an ambassadorship was processed. Then he would have diplomatic status.

 

All details which Khan agreed to, but he hardly let them preoccupy his mind. With a kiss to his husband's cheek, Khan expressed that he was happy for Jim, but asked that he please excuse him. He was asking Jim for some time to himself. Three hours, to be exact. After which time, he wanted Jim to come to the house, as the surprise he promised would be ready.

 

Jim went outside and just walked for the time allotted him, trying to wrap his mind around everything that had just occurred.  He could not believe that he was getting his gray lady back, and so easily.  He knew his crew would not object to the return, but had thought Starfleet would never allow his leaving to go with so light a punishment. He would need to perform a series of soup runs in one of the fleet’s freighters, after their return.  It would hardly be a picnic, since he would miss all shore leave and the refitting of the Enterprise.  And there was nothing to ensure he would get his ship back afterward.  However, for the next two plus years, he would be the captain of the Enterprise with his crew at his back and Khan by his side.  And that was worth everything to him.

 

Second, he was formally married now, in the sight of the Federation and their formal regulations.  He found himself comforted by the fact.  They were guarded now by the law and that protection might come in useful.  He was now considering the idea of having a ceremony to truly celebrate the fact, a ceremony he’d been avoiding for years.  

  
“Married,” Jim murmured to himself.  “Jim Tiberius Kirk-Singh?”  He grinned at the long name and then tried, “Khan Noonien Singh-Kirk?”  That one made him chuckle a little, as he came up to the top of a rise from which he could see the whole town.

 

And this brought him to the third thing- their impending departure from Khan’s family.  His smile turned into a more rueful, thoughtful expression, as he considered if it was really best for his husband and people.  Khan certainly seemed to think so, and Jim wanted him to be right.  Certainly, it made everything easier if Khan were right, so that his return to the Enterprise would not be such a selfish thing.  He would find ways for his lover to contribute to their journey and try to make up for his loss in any way he could.  That, at least, he could offer.

 

He would miss this world, too, and knew that someday, when their journeying was over, he would ask to return here and make a home.  He hoped that Khan would be agreeable.

 

Instead of going to his people to explain the new course of events, Khan disappeared for the next three hours, taking time entirely to himself. Privately, he experienced relief that Kirk would be allowed to return to the Enterprise, that he would be once again happy, but he also experienced sorrow and mourning at the impending separation from his people once more. But even through his silent tears, he knew it was the right thing, for all sides.

 

But he needed the time to go through these emotions on his own. And in turn, prepare himself for Jim.

 

Kneeling on the floor at the foot of the bed, Khan sat with his knees parted and hands on top of his thighs. He was naked, except for his ring, and washed so thoroughly that not a single dead cell remained on his skin. Similarly, the room was utterly immaculate, with blanket folded and flat with precision, lights controlled to resemble a soft glow of dusk, and a few accessories very deliberately and evenly spaced on the otherwise cleared dresser. Jim's command pin for his uniform. A thick black piece of cloth which Khan had once used as a scarf and hood to cover his hair and face. And an open dish, that looked and smelled like honey.

 

It was an important gesture that Khan wanted to honor. His life, his body, was entrusted to Jim Kirk. For all the times that Khan had always, and would always, look after Jim, to care and love him, in this moment, he was asking that Jim be able to do the same. He was asking, in this very symbolic way, for Jim to take care of Khan in this intensely personal, vulnerable state.

 

Jim returned from his musings and wanderings at the time appointed by his husband.  He entered their home and removed his boots at the door, putting them aside.  “Noonien?” he called, looking around.  He noted a light from their room and headed that way, curious as to what might await him there.  Peering in, his eyes widened in pleased surprise, and he took a step into the room.

 

“Noonien.”

 

He looked over his beautiful husband’s nude from, eyes lingering on every inch, before stopping for a considerable period on the ring.  This made him smile, brighter than even the loveliness of the form presented to him.  He took another step toward his kneeling husband.

 

“Noonien?”  

 

Upon first hearing Jim enter the house, Khan sat a little straighter and waited. When he entered the room, he lifted his head and waited, letting Jim take in the sight of him like this. Washed and well groomed, Khan's body was a temple, untouched and flawless. In gold or silver, he would have looked like a prince or a king, but in this state, he was not presenting himself as a man of power.

 

"Jim." Khan lifted his head, letting his lips part with a quick breath. Whatever explanation he meant to share, remained silent. Instead, he looked up at Jim and asked in a way that almost sounded like wedding vows, "Will you care for me, husband, for as long as I live?"

 

Jim knelt down in front of him and smiled, cupping his cheek with one tender hand.  He hoped he hadn’t broken any of the unwritten rules for this moment, but he didn’t want to be on anything but equal terms with his husband.  Especially when promising, “I will, Noonien.  I swear it.”  He showed his own ring in a display to match Noonien’s, though it wasn’t as well polished.

 

Khan let his head lean against the hand, eyes slowly blinking once. Turning his head, he kissed the ringed finger, nose lingering against the palm of his hand with another soft breath. "Will you protect me, Jim?" He asked quietly. Even though it may sound like a foolish question, since Khan was an augment and as strong as they came, able to fight everything from armies to viruses, they were about to embark on a new path. There would potentially be battles that only Jim could win, where Khan held no power. Plus, being separated from his people, Khan would be more isolated then ever. He would be lonely and without allies, except for Kirk.

 

A wave of nerves struck Jim, but he held himself firm.  Something incredibly important was happening between them, and Jim meant to live up to the challenge.  “I will protect you with everything I am,” he swore, the words ringing with his sincerity.  “Always.”  He stroked Khan’s face with the gentlest of touches, seeking to convey truth with touch, as well as words.

 

Khan could hear the truth of Jim's words, the weight of this exchange was not being dismissed. As Jim began to pet the strong features of Khan's face, the augment felt relief and peace at the touch. "Will you be patient and gentle with me, as well as strong and firm, when it is needed?" Khan asked, keeping his eyes on Jim and listening for any doubt the man had in himself when it came to these commitments and promises. Not that it would prevent Khan from joining Jim on their journey back to the stars, but it would allow him to go forward with a clear understanding of what he could, and could not expect from Jim over the rest of their lives together.

 

“If that is how I can be the best husband to you possible, then yes, Noonien, I will be whatever you need me to be for you,” Jim swore, hoping he could live up to these promises.  He knew he would try to the best of his ability, since Khan was worth no less.  He thumbed over Khan’s lips and said, “But I will also trust in your good sense, as well, since I know no man better.”

 

Allowing the thumb to part his lips, Khan exhaled quietly as he gathered courage for his next question. "Will you show me these qualities, Jim, as you make love to me?" Khan had tried to offer himself to Jim before, when they were to be parted. But Khan had been nervous at the time, rushed and unprepared. This time, he had made emotional and physical preparations to bring ease to the experience.

 

For a moment, Jim felt confused and wondered if he’d failed to do that in all of their previous couplings.  Then realization filled him and widened his eyes in surprised delight.  “Oh.”  He swallowed hard and then nodded once, face serious again.  “I would and I will, if that’s truly what you want, Noonien.”  He kissed those parted lips tenderly and added, “But know that I’m completely satisfied with our intimacy.  If you sincerely want this, then I shall delight in showing you the pleasures of being penetrated, but if you’re at all unsure…”  He trailed off and left open that he would never ask it of him in that case, knowing it showed in his eyes and face.

 

Khan gave a slight nod. He was unsure, but not in the way Jim meant. Because he was certain he wanted to give Jim this opportunity to show him in one intimate act, that he would protect and care for and be attentive to Khan, at his most vulnerable. He was certain, that this union was important to establish before they left for the Enterprise, even if it was to never be repeated. "I am yours, husband. I am yours to take."

 

Jim frowned internally at the wording, but didn’t let it affect his expression or actions at all.  “I’ve never been offered anything so valuable before,” he murmured reverently and ran the back of his hand tenderly down Khan’s right cheek.  “Thank you, Noonien.”  He ceased speaking and continued to communicate his appreciation with touch.  He’d never been so delicate with his husband before, mapping out his body with his fingertips.  Bringing forth experiences with more delicate species, as well as all his tenderness for his lover, he attempted to show him how good it could be the one who was cared for and not the one in charge all the time.  “Let’s move this to the bed,” he murmured and stood gracefully, extending a hand for Khan.

 

Skin warm, as his body radiated heat from his core, Khan watched as Jim took the time to touch the lines of his body.  In this moment Khan was something of a giant feline, ancient and fierce, that until now had gone his entire life untouched. No one had been brave enough, until Jim Kirk. The threads of his muscles were tight and tense, as was in his design, but as Jim pressed his hand, Khan would lean into the touch wherever he found it most relaxing. But as Jim asked him to stand, Khan reached up and clasped the offered hand before rising to his feet as well.

 

Jim led Khan to the bed and urged him to lie down with gentle directions of his hands.  He felt the tenseness of his husband’s muscles and used his not inconsiderable skill to work to soothe them into relaxation.  He smiled at the memory of one of their earliest ‘dates’ aboard the Enterprise, where he’d given Khan a full massage, in a similar fashion.  “I love having the freedom to touch you this way,” he murmurs, attention riveted on his lover.  “You’re built of strength, but tempered with affection and passion.”  

 

The journey continued over Khan’s long legs, relearning their every curve and straight.  When he couldn’t resist, Jim leaned in to kiss Khan’s right thigh, just below his left knee, both bony ankles, the arch of his right foot, anywhere that pleased him in the moment.  When he was done with his front, he placed a tender hand on Khan's hip.  “Will you roll over for me, love?”

 

Khan had some unease about being on his back, but reminded himself that was part of the experience. He could lay like this and trust that Jim would take care of him. Which was something Khan warmed up to quickly once Jim began to pay attention to each corner of his body. "You are free to touch me, Jim." Khan said, then added a little more quietly. "It is not my intention to be controlling." Even though he was very much an alpha male in this regard, he still welcomed Jim to express himself, to take the lead, if that is what he wanted. Even if it just meant touching or kissing Khan on a whim.

 

Finally, as Khan began to relax back into the bed, Jim asked him to roll over, and he did. With his arms folded just above his head, Khan settled on his stomach, head turned to the side, only lightly keeping an eye on Jim now.

 

Jim kissed his elegant nape and then down along his spine, reaching all the way to his tailbone.  He retraced the path up with his fingers, counting every knob of spine quietly to himself.  And then he nipped, playful, but testing Khan’s limits.  He did not linger to see the reaction, but spread his hands to smooth down his sides in relaxing waves.  Up and down he went, not trying to arouse, but to relax.  He had some larger plans in mind and needed Khan at rest for them.

 

“Let me prop your hips up with a pillow,” he murmured and reached for one of his fluffy ones.  He encouraged Khan to raise himself off the bed and waited for his lover to decide how he felt about the idea.  “I’d like very much to rim you,” he added, sweet seduction now in his tone.

 

A pleasantly warm shiver made Khan twitch as Jim nipped at his skin. He liked the tease, and he was enjoying how Jim was handling him. It was soothing, the constant touch and assurance that Jim was going to take care of things. Pushing himself up onto all fours, some of Khan's long black hair fell across his face, making him look almost shy. The truth was, he was willing, and settled back down once the pillow was placed under his hips so that it raised his ass in the air slightly, while he settled back down onto his stomach. "Good?" He asked, his head down and back comfortably arched so that his ass was being presented to his lover.

 

Jim made a slight growling noise at the way Khan looked and then flushed red with a mixture of excitement and embarrassment.  “Very, very good,” he said huskily and then had to zip forward to kiss Khan.  “You’re amazing, Noonien.”  He scraped his teeth playfully over Khan’s lower lip and then darted his way down with kisses and bites all along his arched back.  He finished with a nip to either side of his ass, before tracing a finger all along the crack.  “How much have you allowed anyone to play down here?” he asked.

 

Khan groaned happily whenever Jim would bite or scrape his teeth across his skin. Weather it was done in play, or as a form of dominance, Khan responded to it, surrendering that much more to the experience. After a lick of the lips, Khan then explained himself, "I have not allowed others to do anything more then offer me a massage. But ..." He added with a little smile that expressed that he was pleased with himself, "I have practiced, by myself."

 

Jim moaned and said, “I wish I had been there to see that.  I know you were hot, fingering yourself and testing your limits.  Did you like it?”  He slid a finger into the crease and then carefully parted the two cheeks.  His eyes took in the ring of muscle that guarded the opening of Khan’s body and wondered if anyone else had ever viewed it with quite the same hunger.  Flicking a quick tongue over his lips, he said, “I’m going to touch a little now, Noonien.  And then I’m going to get you all wet with my tongue.”

 

He just ran a finger over the pink and then dragged a fingernail across, wondering at the sensitivity.  He figured the same strength that applied to all of Khan would also apply here and might complicate his plans for making love to his husband.  But he was determined to show Khan how pleasurable this act could be, prove to him that he wasn’t giving up anything by offering it to Jim.  “Yes, so very beautiful, Noonien.”

 

"You think so, husband?" Khan breathed out a deep sigh, "I could show you some time, if you are keen to watch me." His head tipped down, the back of his neck stretching and exposed even though Jim was nowhere near there. He hummed lowly, biting slightly at his own lower lip as the muscle contracted against the slightest touch. "Jim." Khan nuzzled the side of his face against the bedding, the sphincter tightening, then relaxing open to each additional experimental touch.

 

“Is that good?” Jim asked, almost rhetorically.  “I’ll show you something even better.”  He nosed between Khan’s cheeks and flicked out his tongue in a teasing arc over the flexing muscle.  He repeated the motion several times, getting acclimated to the musk and rough scrape.  Tongue nimble, he pressed over the hole and vibrated in place, just barely easing the tip in for a second.  And then he was up and out, massaging Khan’s ass and giving his lover a moment to decide if he enjoyed the sensations Jim was trying to generate.

 

"Oh ..." Khan let out after holding his breath. He had offered this pleasure to Jim dozens of times, but had never been on the receiving end of it. "Yes ..." He added with another slow breath. His back arched sharply and he pushed back for more when Jim pulled his mouth away. He blinked to himself, surprised by this natural response, but did not alter his behaviour, not ruining it by being self conscious. "Please, Jim." His fingers slowly curled in the sheets, "Open me up."

 

“Mmm, I was hoping you’d say that,” Jim confessed and returned to his delicious task.  He held nothing back this time, soaking the entire area with his enthusiastic attentions, tongue working fiercely on the area.  He alternated between broad swipes that covered the whole area, teasing flicks that just barely grazed flesh, and quick vibrations that lingered over the same spot.  He reached for Khan’s perineum with knowing fingers and played with the sensitive location, before cupping his heavy sack and squeezing carefully.  

 

"Yes, Jim-" Khan writhed in place, but he never squirmed enough to buck Jim off. The sensual, intimate attention to his ass was very pleasing. A few more hot shivers rolled from his shoulders, down his back. "Yes-" He said again, hips lifting slightly from the pillow. "Are you enjoying me, Jim?" He asked, reaching back to clasp the back of his thighs, keeping himself parted for his lover, and yet for both their pleasure.

 

Jim hadn’t expected that kind of enthusiasm and couldn’t help but pause to admire the picture Khan made, openly displaying himself for Jim.  “Every second,” he vowed and stroked Khan’s back in commendation for his behavior.  “But we've barely gotten started, Noonien.  The best is yet to come.  I want to open you with my tongue now.  I’m going to stab it deep inside you and stretch you as much as I can.  May I do that, Noonien?  May I explore you that way, before I use my fingers and my cock?  I want to give you such pleasure, Noonien, such as you've never known before.  And I hope you will enjoy it as much as I have always enjoyed having you inside me.  I’m not sure that’s possible, given how you always take me to such heights.  Tell me that you wish me to show you more, give you more.”  

 

Swallowing a lump in his throat, face pressed against the bed sheets, Khan nodded slowly. "Yes, Jim." He shifted slightly so that he could still watch Jim out of the corner of one eye. "I am yours, husband. Do as you have promised me. Do as you say." To be tongued, fingered, fucked. Protected, cared for, shown strength and gentleness. He wanted to give himself over to Jim, completely, after his lover had given himself so many times before. "Please." He added, "Show me."

 

Jim smiled and said, “I will,” laying the softest kiss on the small of Khan’s back.  “Tongue first.”  He returned to his previous activities, except that after a short period, he changed to probing at the muscle.  He wiggled at the muscle to try and probe his way inside.  And slowly, with patience and Khan’s cooperation, Jim made headway into the warm passage.  The very tip, a half inch, an inch of tongue swirled into Khan’s body.  The muscles resisted the intrusion, so that only Khan’s willingness allowed him the exploration.  He slid a finger over his tongue, wetting it so that he might slide it in as well.  But oh so carefully, since this was the first real penetration.

 

The tongue working him open was perfect. Warm and wet, a strong muscle in its own right, but overall quite soft and accommodating with each penetrating lunge. It was deeply relaxing and satisfying that Jim would dedicate so much time to him like this. And soon, Khan welcomed the probing tongue, gasping softly against the bedding. Yes, his body was tight and barely tested in this way, but Khan was willing and whimpered Jim's name eagerly a few times. It was exciting and new, and Khan trusted his lover to care for him and show him how good it could be.

 

Jim loved the whimpering, so unlike his husband’s normal behavior.  He reluctantly parted from the warm, wet passage and reached for his favorite lubricant.  “I’m going to stretch you more now, Noonien.  I’ve always loved this oil you use on me, and I hope you like it the other way, too.”  He tipped a little oil into his palm to warm and then dribbled some into the slightly open passage.  A finger worked its way in right after, swirling around the lubricant and spreading it into new areas.  He warmed more to add with a second finger, twisting his hand to spiral deeper.  “Talk to me, Noonien.  Tell me that this still feels good.”  He curled his fingers sharply into Noonien’s prostate, hoping this was the first time he’d had it stimulated by a lover.

 

Listening to Jim talk him through it, Khan was abruptly quiet, not letting a single gasp pass his lips. His brain felt like the individual pages of a hundred books, all scattered together. It was difficult to make sense of even the most basic concepts. Was it good, or wasn't it? His body was somewhat in shock, not because Jim caused him any pain, but because it was so new to him. His hands finally fell away from the back of his thighs, choosing instead to draw up closer to his torso. His core temperature remained the same as before, but some for some reason he wanted to be warmer. He wanted the heat, the comfort, of having Jim over him, in him. Even so, it took several long minutes before Khan attempted to open his mouth to answer. The careful penetration into his body was deep and thrilling. "Yes." He finally said, though his voice was quiet and shy, no longer firm or commanding. "Yes, that's good-" He gasped and his back arched naturally as the sensitive nerves were teased, pushing back, Khan asked for more. "That's ... th- ahhh ... gently, husband, there ..."

 

Jim eased the press of his fingers at Khan’s words, not wanting to overdo the stimulation, especially as this was their first time trying this.  “You’re doing so well, Noonien,” he praised and spread his fingers wider.  “I want to use one more finger and then I think you’ll be ready...if you still want me.”  He added the one last drizzle of oil to ease the way for his third finger.    

 

Khan felt very tight around his fingers now, the muscles resisting him.  He allowed his fingers to be forced back out, not wanting to push too hard.  He returned to one finger again, this time going straight to Khan’s prostate to try and pleasure some of the nerves out of him.  His other hand stroked over his lover’s side and lower back, soothing in time with the nonsense noises Jim used to encourage Khan to give up just a little more of that iron control.  To trust his Jim.

 

Khan was not yet prepared enough when Jim made his first attempt. But as his lover soothingly kept petting his skin, whispering encouraging words, Khan gave a slight nod to indicate that he was ready for Jim to try again. The pressure was just enough that Khan began to open up to Jim, rather then close up, or shut down. He was still very much engaged in this experience, rather then disassociating himself and letting Jim just have him. This union was important to him, and he allowed himself to feel every moment of it.

 

"Yes, Jim. Yes- I ..." Khan's words dissolved into a low groan, and whatever he had been about to say was now lost. With Jim's help and attention, Khan's ass was now warm and wet and welcoming. He was ready, if Jim still had the courage and desire for him.

 

Jim savored each slight give of muscle, until his three fingers easily slid in and out of the now inviting passage.  He took a few extra moments to explore and insure that Khan is prepared.  “You’re as open as I can make you with my fingers, love,” Jim said.  “I could stretch a little more with a toy, if you would like, before I try anything more.”  He didn’t want to do anything without Khan’s complete confidence and permission.  First times were special and scary, and for a man like Khan, who so seldom gave up any of his control, more than the normal amount of care felt right.  And Jim went with his instincts about these kinds of interactions.

 

“If you are ready, I’d love to have you prepare me,” he said.  “And would you prefer to be on your stomach, where it’s more comfortable, or on your back, where we can look into each other’s eyes?”

 

"No, no toys ... just you, Jim." Khan insisted, looking back over his shoulder. Carefully pushing himself up to his forearms, then to all fours, Khan grunted. "I don't think I should move much more, Jim, otherwise I will undo all your work." Adjusting his stance, Khan spread his knees a little further apart on the bed. "But if you want me to prepare you, you will need to come to this end, so that you are within my reach."

 

Jim moved as gracefully as a naked man with a very insistent erection can when crawling across a bed.  He set the oil within Khan’s easy reach and smiled down at him.  “I do want you to be the one to prepare me.  I only think that’s fair, an equal exchange.”  He leaned in for a tender kiss and then sat back on his heels, waiting.

 

Keeping his hands planted on the bedding for now, Khan lifted his gaze to look up at Jim kneeling in front of him. Then leaning forward, Khan began to press several long and lingering kisses to Jim's stomach, eyes lightly closed as the side of his face rubbed against his lover's skin. Khan humbled himself, not in a degrading away, but reverently, kissing and adoring that parts of Jim's body that were in front of him. The kisses continued, over the flat of his stomach and hip, down to the crease of groin and thigh. There, he began to lick long, warm lines over Jim's hard on, taking the taste of him onto his tongue, until he was sucking on the tip, working his tongue around the head.

  
Jim’s eyes shut automatically at the first press of Khan’s lips, but he forced them back open, wanting to watch the attentions being paid to his body.  He slid his clean hand into Khan’s hair to stroke and encourage, never to force or direct. A few soft noises of contentment filled the air, as Jim gave verbal notice of how well Khan treated him.  “That feels so good, Noonien,” he murmured.  “And you look so beautiful.”

 

He allowed himself to be lulled into a pleasant hum of contentment as Khan kisses and rubbed against him, when suddenly, a wet tongue licked up his cock.  He bucked a little and nearly toppled himself, surprised by the sharp flash of delight.  “Fuck, that’s good,” he praised and then gasped when Khan went one better and took him in his mouth.

 

Khan hummed softly, carefully taking Jim to the back of his throat. But instead of bobbing his head to suck him off, Khan settled like this, holding Jim's erection in his mouth, letting his tongue caress the sides of the hard muscle while saliva began to pool in his mouth, making Jim completely wet with it. And he only stopped when some began to drip out of the corner of his lips, forcing him to pull his head back with a gasp. Khan purred at the sight of Jim's dripping cock, spreading some of the oil on one hand, he pumped his fist over his erection, making sure Jim was completely slick with it.

 

Jim used every trick he knew not to come in Khan’s hand or mouth.  He was aching, aching hard and dripping more than just oil and saliva.  He finally had to still Khan’s hand with a sheepish smile.  “No more, or I’m not going to make it.  You really have the magic touch, Noonien.”  He kissed his crown and then shuffled back again, a little self-conscious.  A few moments massaging Khan’s back and ass eased both his hair trigger and remaining nerves.  

 

“Here we go, Noonien.  I’m the luckiest husband in the universe,” Jim said and carefully aligned himself, making sure to telegraph his movements so Khan is ready.  The first push inside took an extra ounce of effort, but then the head popped in with a soft, slick sound, and Jim groaned low in his throat.  He stilled and gave Khan a moment to get used to having a cock inside him, even if it was only in an inch or so.  He wanted to thrust so badly, but waited for a sign that he was welcome.

 

At the first instant of being breached, Khan's entire body flushed warmly. But instead of feeling like something was being taken from him, Khan was beginning to feel connected to Jim in a whole new way. "Husband-" Khan breathed, lowering himself down to his forearms, so that his ass remained presented up in the air. Head bowed between his shoulders, Khan gave a whimper, accompanied with a nod. "Yours, Jim."

 

“Husband,” Jim affirmed and shivered as Khan lifted his ass in presentation.  With such permission, he pressed forward and slowly, steadily breached as deep as his body could physically manage.  “Fuck, so good.  So hot and tight and perfect,” Jim garbled out and then pressed a kiss to Khan’s nape.  “Thank you, Noonien.”

 

It had been a long time since Jim had been the one to press into a warm, welcoming body, and the sensations were that the more intense for it.  Plus, it was Khan, his beloved husband, whom he had never imagined being willing to give this to anyone, even him.  So, he had to pause after fully sheathing himself, not only to give Khan a moment, but himself.  He wanted this to last.

 

Khan had been reduced to one hot breath after another, lips parted as he took in every new and intense sensation. A twist of heat settled in his groin, excitement fluttering through his nerves, unrelenting, giving the augment a lot to process. Dropping his head down to look, Khan pressed a hand to his stomach and smiled, "I feel full." He said, then lightly grazed his hand over his own cock. But he didn't stimulate himself further, he wasn't ready for that. Instead, his hand kept exploring, back, between his legs, the tips of his fingers lightly touching the point where Jim disappeared into his body. "Oh-" his body gave a shiver and he groaned. "Jim ... please."

 

“Yes, Noonien,” Jim assured and got his legs firmly under him.  He gripped Khan’s hips and thrust slowly in and out of his body.  The pace started slow, but their natural connection clicked almost instantly, and Jim found a rhythm that satisfied them both.  His hips snapped against the firm buttocks of his lover, until he was grunting with the force of each thrust.  This was the most primal form of coupling, with Jim unable to hold himself back now that he’d gotten going.  But he made sure to take care of his husband, hitting his prostate with every stroke and reaching around to stroke his cock.  

 

"Yes, Jim, yes-" Khan kept repeating as he breathed, wanting to assure Jim that he was alright with the growing intensity. His nerves were on fire, but his body surrendered to each thrust, taking Jim smoothly, deeply, every time. His back began to arch as he writhed on the bed under his husband. Though he covered his hand over Jim's, stopping him from stroking him off. He didn't want that. He wasn't ready for it. "Jim ... make me yours ..." He asked with another whimper, biting at the bedding and fisting the fabric with his free hand.

 

Jim let go, as asked, and stretched out his body over Khan’s reaching to twine their hands together.  He pressed himself full length over his husband, connecting them by as much skin as he could.  Thrusting was a little more difficult in this position, but the closeness was worth the slightly reduced power.  Here, he could assert that Khan’s was his, all his, and that he intended to keep it that way.  Also, their encounter would prolong a little more this position, since Jim could not quite give in to the desire to just slam himself into Khan until he came.

 

“You are mine, Noonien,” he promised, biting at his neck and ears.  “All mine.  To have and hold.  To cherish and protect.  As long as we both shall live.”  The marriage vows had always seemed frightening and remote before, but they meant everything now.  “Don’t hold back, Noonien.  Let yourself go.”

 

As Jim lost a fraction of his advantage by this new position, Khan rolled his hips, pushing back to meet each thrust. He was enjoying the weight of Jim over top of him like this, and gave their fingers a tight squeeze, holding onto this experience. "Yes, Jim-" Khan groaned, surrendering to each bite and the promise Jim was making to him. Jim would take care of him, and wouldn't allow him to feel alone or unloved.

 

Jim grit his teeth and lost himself completely in striving for release.  He wanted to touch Khan and bring his lover off with him, but the previous injunction still held, so he hoped that pressing into his prostate might be enough.  He loved the way Khan met his every move, the sound their bodies made when they collided together.  “Not gonna last much longer,” he panted into Khan’s ear.  “I want you with me, Noonien.  Please.”  He bit at the earlobe, sucking at it fiercely.

 

Drawing in Jim's arms closer to his chest, Khan still kept their hands firmly clasped together, but also wanted the secure feeling of being held. "Yes, Jim." He bowed his head and nibbled and nipped at Jim's wrist, needing this affectionate outlet as Jim made love to him. "Make me yours." He repeated. "Come inside me, I want to know what it is to feel your release."

 

Jim can’t deny that request and a few deep thrusts later, he lost himself in release, spilling his seed into Khan’s welcoming body.  He cried “Noonien!” once before managing only an incoherent yell with each subsequent pulse.  Despite the frequency and potency of their usual intimacies, he found himself coming a deal longer and more copiously than usual, pulled out by the novelty of the encounter.  And perhaps by his own subconscious (and conscious) desire to prove to Khan that he was a worthy husband, for all situations.  As the sensation spiraled toward their natural end, he bit down into Khan’s nape to add that last surge to the coupling.

 

Hearing Jim lose himself was a delight for Khan, it helped to make him feel good. And feeling Jim spill into his body was a surprisingly good sensation. He hadn't been sure after all, if he would like it or not, but the sudden hot slick that now filled his ass was thrilling and helped to push him further to his own release. His body was on edge, tight and desperate for release, which came the moment Jim bit down on the back of his neck. It was a sort of dominance and demand that Khan responded to, coming instantly as he submitted himself to Jim and their lovemaking.

 

Jim felt the instant Khan found his own release and rode that out, as well, using the last of his strength to hold on and stay in his husband.  He encouraged Khan through his orgasm with mumbled words of praise and love, all of them true and mimicking how he felt for his husband perfectly.  When the last of Khan’s aftershocks calmed away, Jim carefully eased out and moved to lay beside him.  He kept pressed close to his lover and stroked his back with tenderness.  “You were amazing, Noonien,” he whispered, voice hoarse.  “Thank you for sharing that with me.”  He pressed a kiss to his forehead and hoped that Khan felt the same way about his part of the experience.  He knew it was foreign to anything Khan had done before.

 

For a time, Khan remained in place, savouring the feeling, even though Jim was no longer inside, apart of his body. He turned eventually, laying on his side to face his lover and wrapped his arms around him with a heavy sigh, kissing his jaw, before slowly working his way up to his lips. "Thank you, husband." He said, pressing their faces together.

 

“It was my pleasure, Noonien,” Jim said with deep affection.  “You did enjoy yourself then?”  He had read all of Khan’s responses and actions as being positive, but he wanted, needed, to hear the confirmation of that impression.  This was his husband’s first time, never to be repeated again, so it was important to him that Noonien had enjoyed himself.  “It was amazing for me, to share your first time.”  He stroked the high right cheekbone with a gentle thumb, repeating the motion with great care.  

 

Eyes lightly closed, Khan leaned into the affectionate touch. In their lovemaking, Khan had been able to see Jim live up to his promises. Though Khan was still an augment, built for battle, Jim had been gentle with him, especially with his heart, which was where Khan needed the most care given.  Jim would look after Khan, protect him, love him, and never seek to humiliate him. "Yes, Jim. You made it very pleasurable. You are good to me, husband."

 

“Well, if you ever want me to be good to you like that again, you have but to ask,” Jim said with an affectionate rub of their noses together.  “And if that was a one-off, well, that’s all right, too.  I’m happy either way, Noonien.  But I don’t mind confessing that you’re the best lover I’ve ever had...both ways.”  He paused to let that sink in and then continued by asking, “Would you like to bathe together?  We could both use a bit of cleaning, and the warm water will soothe everything away.”  

 

It was perhaps a foolish thing to care about, but Khan was pleased to know he had not been disappointing to Jim. He had after all, prepared himself so that Jim could enjoy him, and not consider it a chore. "Perhaps, I will." Khan admitted as well. Sliding his hands over the front of Jim's chest, Khan smiled. "I would like to bathe with you, however. That sounds very pleasing right now."

 

“Perfect,” Jim said and slowly stood up, tugging Khan with him by one hand.  “I do love the amenities of this house...our house.”  He kept a hold of his husband, fingers tangled comfortably.  “Will you take some personal items with you when we return to the Enterprise?  I’d love some of the items your people have handmade for the colony.  And we should definitely take some bakery items to go.”  He smiled at the naturally heated tub, which meant no fussing around with controls, and climbed in, settling on one of the benches.  He gestured for Khan to join him, eyes warm and inviting.

 

Though not in pain, as Jim had cared for him well, Khan walked a little slower then usual as he followed Jim to the bathing room and hot spring pool. But as he settled into the water next to Jim, his body soon forgot about any irregularities. "Yes, there are a few things I would like to keep close, as reminders. If it is allowed." With his palm and knuckles, Khan began to use a scrub to wash Jim over his chest and down each arm in turn.

 

“Of course it’s allowed,” Jim said with a warm smile and stretched a little under the attentions of his husband.  “I don’t have a lot of personal items of my own, so it’ll be nice to have some things of ours to decorate our quarters.  You can put them anywhere you want.  In fact, we’ll have to decide how to arrange things, now that we’ll be sharing as a married couple.”  He watched the hands busy on his body, the ring flashing on one special finger.  “That still doesn’t make me want to run,” he reflected with quiet amazement.

 

He shook it off and asked, “Are you sore anywhere, Noonien?  I know you heal fast, but I didn’t hurt you, did I?  I feel like I should be the one washing you, all things considered.”  He reached out for  his husband.

 

Though the Enterprise would always feel like Jim's home, at least a corner of it, could be theirs. Ours. Khan reflected quietly. "No, Jim. I am not sore. You handled me, expertly." Khan pressed a few kisses to Jim's neck. "But I will not deny your hands, husband. In fact, they are most welcome." Khan preferred the contact, though did not often ask for it. Physical comforts were not things he was supposed to want, which in turn made him value a hug from the children, or a kiss from his husband, all the more.

 

“Hmmm, well, that’s good to hear,” Jim said, “since I have a hard time keeping them off of you.  In fact, I’m strongly opposed to not touching you frequently.  I’m afraid I can’t have you on the bridge too often for fear of getting distracted or being too handsy in front of the crew.  I know you’re not much for PDA, and neither are the rest of the crew.”  He sighed a little in disappointment, before sliding his hands over Khan’s shoulders.  He cupped the back of his head and closed in for a kiss, pressing his tongue tenderly into an inviting mouth.  His hands switched to caressing Khan’s broad chest and teased his nipples briefly, a coy smile curling Jim’s mouth.

 

Khan had no wish to distract Jim from his duties to the Enterprise and hi s crew any more then he already had been. Like before, he knew his presence would be met with mixed feelings. And now that his people were safely settled and no longer in the care of the Starfleet crew, Khan had little reason to be as involved, as he had been before. He would have to find his place, all over again. But as long as he had Jim's love and support, and the privacy of a space that was entirely theirs, Khan knew he could manage.

 

Kissing Jim back with a soft hum, Khan lightly sucked at his tongue, enjoying this intimacy that had been difficult to express in their lovemaking due to the position each lover took in bed. "When you are on the bridge, you are Captain Kirk." Khan said softly. "You are accountable to Starfleet, and your crew. But in private, we can indulge in anything we wish."

 

Jim made a pleased noise and said, “Oh, really.  Is there something in particular you wish to indulge in, husband?  Do tell me!  I love to hear your plans.  They always turn out so well for both of us.  And as responsible as I need to be to regain my place as captain, I want everyone to know how much I love you and how much you mean to me.  And maybe, to see you feel the same way.  We can start the new chapter of relations together, where everyone can see.  If you’d like that.”  He kissed his nose.  “No hiding our relations...except for the most private part, of course.”

 

"When I spoke just now, it was not because I had something specific in mind. I simply wish to be your companion and lover, the man you come home to, who is able to satisfy whatever it is you might crave." From hugs and holding, to sucking and kisses, or their lovemaking, Khan wanted Jim to be able to freely express himself, when his more public persona might not allow for it.

 

"Jim." Khan said, eyes down, watching his own thumb slide over Jim's collar bone, petting the fair skin. "I have been on display for most of my life. From now on, my body is for your gaze, alone. When we return to the Enterprise, I wish to embrace a more conservative manner of dress, if you will permit it. But this by no means should be perceived that I wish to hide our relationship. I am happy to be open about our partnership, and to stand at your side." Khan lifted his gaze, quiet and calm. "Will you allow me, my old fashioned ways?"

 

Jim blinked a few times, smiled softly, and said, “Whatever you want, Noonien.  You don’t need my allowance.  And I promise not to embarrass you in front of anyone by being overly affectionate.  We can just do things like eat meals together and wear our rings, yeah?”  He paused and looked concerned.  “Do you think I’d put you on display, Noonien?  I never meant to imply that.  I just want there to be peace for you and your people now, with the possibility of other things.”  He stroked Khan’s chest and then kissed him tenderly.  “Whatever you want, Noonien.”

 

"No-" Khan understood that he did not need Jim's permission, but he wanted it, because he wanted this to be a genuine partnership, where Jim was not cut out, but apart, of these important decisions. "But I prefer to have your consent." Khan rested a hand on Jim's shoulder, keeping them close as they spoke. "I hope to be apart of your daily routine, as much as time allows for, Jim." And as much as Jim was prepared to share.

 

“Well, we shall share quarters, unless you don’t want to, and either way, I plan to see you every night.  I want to sleep with you in my- our bed and my arms, as many nights as I can have you, my Noonien,” Jim said.  “And if you want my consent...you have it with all my heart, if it makes you happy.”  He frowned and looked away for a long moment, before turning back.  “Do you consider me too showy, too indiscreet, Noonien?  Should I moderate my own behavior toward you to keep you from being uncomfortable with me?”

 

The conversation was making little sense to Khan now. So he shifted his tone and became more direct. "I intend to share your bed, your quarters, your life, Jim. Until you state otherwise. The Enterprise is your territory. I will abide by your rules, and respect the order of things. You are the Captain, foremost. Responsible for all those under your command, including myself. Your priorities will shift day to day, but know that you will always be my priority. And I will happily distract you, publicly or privately, whenever you need it."

 

“Oh.”  Jim’s face brightened in something near wonder, as he gazed on his husband.  “Then we’re in complete agreement because, no matter my duties, you’ll always be a priority of mine, too, Noonien.  No matter what comes.  And I know you’ll be an exemplary crewmember; there’s no need to reassure me on that point.”  He relaxed into his husband’s side and rested a head on his shoulder.  “What did you mean by more conservative garments then?” he asked softly, tone indicating that Khan didn’t have to respond if he didn’t want to.

 

"It is a matter of how I wish to be seen, or in this case, not seen. As I said, I have been on display for most of my life. I was groomed to be leader to a new era of human history. And I was groomed to be a weapon for Section 31, stripped of my former identity to become something more favourable to the Starfleet image. But I am not Starfleet. And I am no longer leader to my people. My self-identity is open to me, and I am free to express myself as I have not been allowed to in a long time. In this regard, I wish to continue to grow my hair-" rather than cut it to something more under Starfleet regulations, "and adopt a manner of dress that I find comforting, even if it is perceived as old fashioned, by modern eyes."

 

Jim smiled and reached up to stroke his husband’s lengthening hair.  “I very much look forward to seeing you with long hair, Noonien.  How long would you like it to be?”  He imagined the dark tresses down his back and that smile grew in warmth and strength.  “And you may dress as you choose, particularly in a conservative manner.  I know you will have show great taste and discretion in your garments.”  He kissed Khan’s right cheek tenderly and said, “You are your own man now, for certain, Noonien, if there was a doubt before.  I’ll never let anyone mistreat you as Marcus did, so long as I live.”  He pressed their foreheads together.  “You’re free, Noonien, free even to leave me, if you so choose.”

 

"I cannot say. This is several years worth of growth already. My hope is to let it continue to grow, for as long as it is manageable." Though not religious, Khan had been raised among Hindu, Sikh, and Muslim people. And there were certain traditions he now wished to observe, inducing allowing his hair to grow, but also to cover himself in such a way to keep his body private, not something to be controlled or manhandled, and only to be shared and viewed by Jim Kirk, his husband.

 

Nuzzling their faces together, Khan could not foresee a day where he would leave Jim's side. But he understood Jim's meaning, Khan had no obligations, except for the ones he created himself. But he did not want the freedom Jim was describing. He wanted to remained bound to his husband and lover, this was the live he freely choose for himself. "Kiss me." Khan pleaded quietly, brushing their lips together.

 

Jim tilted his head to press their mouths a little more firmly together.  He allowed the pressure to linger only a second, before drawing away.  But after the tease, he smiled and then sealed their lips for a deeper sharing.  This he enhanced by easing himself into Khan’s lap, arms going around his shoulders.  And there he stayed, kissing his husband until a need for air drove him away.  Even then, he did not stray far, breathing deep while he rubbed his right cheeks against Khan’s.

 

“I do like how soft your skin is, Noonien,” Jim murmured, before pulling away to press their foreheads together and look into his eyes.  “And how strong you are beneath it.  I can’t wait to see the kind of man you become when you get to be solely what you choose to be.  What would you like to do aboard the Enterprise?”

 

Settling his arms around Jim's middle, Khan happily held him as they kissed in the hot springs, the steam rising from the surface of the water and off their skin, keep them both comfortable warm. Khan never demanded more form Jim then he was able to give, but was always very eager to reclaim his mouth once he had enough air in his lungs to keep going.

 

Khan smiled, more then a little proud that he was to share this next stage in his life with Jim. That as he evolved and came into his own, Jim would be there with him every step of the way. "You know I will attend to any task that needs doing. Whatever department will take me, I will welcome the work."

 

“Not helpful,” Jim teased and rubbed their noses together.  “But I’m serious, find your passion, Noonien, and I’ll find a way to help you explore it.  Maybe we can cycle you through the various departments and sciences until you find the one that really calls to you.”  He strokes Khan’s hair as he speaks, chewing his lower lips as he considers this plan.  “If that sounds good to you, I’ll make sure it happens that way.  I want you to be as happy in your work as I plan to make you in your homelife.”  He chuckled at the idea of their home, which would be his quarters on the Enterprise.  Theirs, now.  From Spock, he knew that the Vulcan had stayed in his own since Jim’s departure, so they had been unoccupied since then.

 

"Yes, Jim. Thank you." Khan bowed his head forward, so that his lips were against Jim's shoulder. Like this, he was encouraging Jim to keep petting his hair, while he kissed the line of skin and muscle up the length of his neck. He sighed deeply and smiled, filling his lungs with the scent of his lover. "I will miss the ground beneath my feet, the trees and the wind ... I hope to be eligible for as many away missions as possible."

 

“Well, Security or one of the sciences then, I imagine,” Jim mumbled, turning his head so his lips pressed against Khan’s skin.  And he did keep stroking the soft strands of hair beneath his fingers, loving the texture and the trust of his husband.  “I don’t know that I’d want you in Security, even though I know you’d do the job better than anyone else.  You deserve to be free from the violence that goes along with the assignment.”  He kissed each of Khan’s eyelids, gentle.  “But it’s all up to you.”

 

"Yes, Jim. I understand." Khan would be very good, too good, if he worked for Security. Never mind that it might be unsettling for those crewmen who once guarded Khan as their prisoner. Instead, Khan felt these things would work themselves out in time. For now, he was quite content to hold Jim in his arms and be lulled by his kisses and touches. He hummed as Jim kissed the delicate skin of his eyelids. "Thank you."

 

“No need to thank me, Noonien,” Jim assured and rested his cheek on Khan’s crown, rubbing against the soft strands.  “We’re in this together, after all, husband.  My loving Noonien.”  He stroked the back of his neck and dug in a little with his fingers, massaging the thick muscle.  “As I am yours.  And together, we’ll explore the stars.”  He hummed a light tune, half off-key, but still with a certain sweetness.  A sweetness only husband really brought out in him.  Or children.

 

"Yes, husband." Khan said quietly, his voice drifting off into a low purr. He enjoyed the way Jim handled him, he found it soothing and relaxing. The corner of his lips twitched into a smile when Jim began his tune, but Khan did not interrupt him. It was rare to extract this sort of reaction from Jim so naturally. So Khan did not ruin it by speaking up, and instead simply listened to the tune quite happily.

 

Jim remained entwined with Khan, humming his tune, for some little time, before he started a and blinked down at his husband.  A slightly goofy smile tugged up one side of his mouth, and he said, “I am quite forgetting the purpose of a tub, to get washed.  Instead, I’m using you as my personal seat and besieging your ears with my awful singing.  I don’t even know what possessed me, except that you make me feel so comfortable.”  He reached out for the soap again and set about washing Khan’s hair.

 

"I do not mind it, Jim." Khan said, looking up and taking a few light kisses from his lips and jaw. "It is a treat, to hear and feel you so happy." Tipping his head back slightly, Khan let Jim wash his hair, the soap and water running down his back as Jim worked it clean. Though for now, his own hands remained still on Jim's hips, fingers curling only ever so slightly into his back, clearly wanting him to stay on his lap, just as they were.

 

“I guess I am happy,” Jim mused, still working on Khan’s hair.  “I get to go home, with you by my side.  So long as you’re happy, too, Noonien.  And keeping me close.  If you ever aren’t happy, I want to be the first to know, you hear me?”  He rinsed out the suds, carefully making sure that none ran down Khan’s face or into his eyes.  “This house will be waiting for us, whenever we’re ready.  It’s kind of perfect.”  He nuzzled into his husband’s forehead and then reached for the conditioner.  

 

"Yes, Jim." Khan opened his eyes slowly, focusing them on his husband and lover. "I promises not to conceal from you, if I am unhappy." It was a pleasant thought however that Jim was not opposed to returning to this planet, some day. Should the stars lose their appeal, should Jim want a quiet life, and settle down. But for now, he was still young and had an amazing future of adventure and discovery still ahead of him. A journey, he would be able to share with Khan. A life, either way, made a little less lonely.

 

“Good,” Jim said and massaged the condition deep into Khan’s scalp, working some magic with his fingers.  “Will you wash me when I’m done with you, Noonien?”  He finished the longest strands of hair and sat back for a moment.  “Got to let this set for awhile.”  He kissed each of Khan’s cheeks and then his mouth, as he allowed for the conditioner to do its work.  “Tomorrow, you can take me in our bed on the Enterprise.”

 

Khan simply nodded at the question. He had started to wash Jim earlier, but had since gotten distracted by his lover sitting on his lap and paying him such sweet attention. Blindly, Khan slid one hand up the front of Jim's chest before he slowly opened his eyes. It was an empowering offer. The Enterprise was where Jim held the most power, he was Captain, after all, but in the bedroom, he still belonged to Khan, and that stroked his ego just the right way. "Yes. My Jim." Khan said, giving a teasing bite at his shoulder, only for his hand to palm over the same spot.

 

“Ouch!  Hey!” Jim said, but he was laughing even as he said it.  “Possessive bastard.”  He leaned in for a deep kiss, nipping at his lower lip and moaning loudly.  “You like the idea of having me in our bed on the Enterprise, huh?  So do I, Noonien.  It will be so very sexy, and I will be so very loud and mouthy for you.”  He touched his hair and said, “And now, this is ready to be washed out.”  He scooped some water up and began to clean out all of the conditioner with gentle hands.

 

Khan smiled openly, "Yes. I like that idea very much." He hummed, keeping a hand lightly on Jim's shoulder as he sank against the stone of the pool so that he could tip his head back for Jim to rinse. He trusted him entirely, eyes closed, relaxed, and allowed his head to be manipulated to one side or the other, as Jim handled him to rinse his hair in the water.

 

Jim shifted and spread his legs around Khan to straddle his hips, settling on his lap again.  He finished washing Khan’s hair and then wrapped his arms around his shoulders.  “Hello, my Noonien,” he whispered and kissed him again, before dotting soft kisses all over his face.  “How did you like your bath?  Was it as nice as you wanted?”  He wiggled his ass temptingly on Khan’s lap.

Sitting up slowly, gravity naturally drained Khan's thick black hair of the excess water, which now dripped down his back. Keeping Jim positioned high on his lap, Khan wrapped both arms around him again, holding him close. "My bath was very pleasant. You are always good to me, husband." Khan pressed their lips together, sucking softly and drawing out a sweet kiss. "Thank you." He said, nuzzling their noses together. Slowly at first, Khan then began to scrub and massage his knuckles into Jim's back. "And now, for your turn."

 

“Goody,” Jim said eagerly and pressed into the hand on his back.  “Are you going to treat me well, too, Noonien?”  He drank in all of the affection Khan offered, pleased by how well he’d grown into offering it now.  The cold facade of his lover was gone and replaced by this warm, giving being, at least to his husband.  

 

"I shall attempt to." Khan kept his gaze on Jim, watching him for signs of pleasure or discomfort. Starting low on his back, just above his hips, Khan massaged into the tissue, working his way up his back, carefully kneading at the muscle on either side of his spine, until he was working into his shoulder blades. "May I wash your hair as well?"

 

“Mmmm.  I’d be very pouty if you didn’t,” Jim said, relaxed into Khan’s arms completely trustingly.  “Just let me know how you want me, Noonien.”  He waggled his eyebrows playfully and nipped at Khan’s nose.  “I’m all yours.”  There was a mixture of play and lust in his tone, even though he would not push for anything.

 

Though Khan had a sense of what Jim was after, the augment wanted to follow through with their little bathing ritual. It was important to him, just as much as any other aspect of their union. Cupping a handful of water at a time, Khan began to get Jim's scalp wet, massaging the back of his head while he began to build up a lather of soap. Even though his hair was much shorter, Khan took his time to thoroughly wash and massage the top of his head. It would be a long time before the two of them would be able to indulge in a bath like this again. So he was determined for them to enjoy it.

 

Jim settled instantly as Khan began to clean his hair.  His scalp tingled pleasantly as Khan worked the soap into his head.  He shut his eyes instinctively and made contentedly little noises in the back of his throat.  His hands linked tightly together to keep him close to his lover, inhaling deeply the scent of the bath soaps and his lover.  It was hard to believe that those same hands that now cleaned him so tenderly once crushed the skull of another man.  That Khan seemed far away from him now, another life, almost.  “That’s so good, Noonien,” he slurred happily.

 

While there was no limit to what Khan was still capable of, his heart had found peace. His people were safe. And he had found a love worth keeping for the rest of his life. "Good." Khan echoed gently, kissing Jim on the side of the face while his eyes were closed. Then with a few handfuls of the warm water, Khan began to rinse the short hair under his fingers, carefully working his fingers from front to back, brushing his hair back as he went, to help control which way the water dripped.

Jim leaned into the touch with contented sounds and helpfully moved wherever Khan directed him.  “You’ve got magic hands, Noonien.  When we’re done in the bath, will you use them to dry me off and then carry me to bed?  Our last night in our bed here for awhile.”  His whole body rested easily on Khan, allowing his lover to bear the weight, knowing it was nothing for the augment.  He thought the trust would please his husband, as well, whose ego he happily stroked to keep him happy and purring.  He’d learned that Khan’s heart was easily damaged and worked hard to make sure he knew how loved he was.

 

"Yes, Jim. It will be my pleasure." Khan continued to offer a few more light kisses to Jim, while his hands remained busy. He began to scrub and wash in small circles over his shoulders and chest, just under his arms and down to his hips, which he rocked subtly on his lap with a little purr. He did enjoy Jim like this, in his arms, to hold and kiss as he pleased. "Do your feet require a wash? Or a massage, husband?" Khan asked, after he had attended to everything within his reach.

 

“Oh my God, a massage would be awesome,” Jim said and wiggled his toes a few times.  “I’d like to get all of the problems out of my feet before I go back to regulation boots.  Those things can be tight.  You’re exempt from wearing them, of course.  You just need durable shoes that cover all of your feet.  No sandals, except when you’re not on duty, of course.  I like it when you wear sandals.”  He reached for Khan’s feet, twisting nimbly and then began to play little piggy with them.

 

Khan gave a nod in understanding of what regulation attire he would still be expected to conform to. "Why do you like me in sandals?" Khan asked as he helped shift Jim into a position in the pool just directly opposite of him. Then following the length of his leg, helped stretch it out in the water so that it was half floating in front of him where he began to do his work. Starting with the ankle and the heel of his foot, Khan dug into the tough spots first, before pressing his thumbs into the arch of his foot.

 

“You have cute toes,” Jim said and then groaned in bliss, sinking into the water bonelessly.  “There’s not a lot of you that’s cute, but your toes are.  The rest of you is handsome or striking or godlike, but your toes are long, hairy and adorable.”  He body gave out under him, and he splashed back into the water with a reverent expression.  “Fuck, you’re so fucking good at that.  Don’t stop.”

 

Khan glanced down at his own feet through the water, and attempted to view them as Jim did. Cute. It was true, it was not an expression he often heard. But he grinned at the sounds he was beginning to solicit from Jim. It was positively indecent, and he loved it. Khan continued to work his thumbs into the arch and around the ball of Jim's foot, before working the joint of each toe, getting a few to crack and pop in relief.

 

“Ow,” Jim whimpered and then sighed in delight.  “Oh, my feet love you even more than I do right now.”  He slid even further into the water and wiggled his toes in ecstasy.  “I may come from you doing this.  Fuuuuuuuck.”  His eyes closed in, head just barely out of the water as he basked in the affection and attention from his husband.  “Don’t stop.  Please.  I might cry if you stop now.”

 

Khan watched with a permanent smirk etched across his lips. He gave Jim's second foot equal attention, following the same pattern of working from the heel, along the arch, then up to the toes. In some of the more fleshy places on the foot, he dug in deep, only because he knew Jim could take it, and that it would feel good. The pressure points were familiar to him, and he knew which spot on his feet translated to a nerve in the lower back or which even traveled all the way up to the back of the neck.

 

By the end, Jim’s brain felt like it’d melted out of his ears to float in the water around him.  His whole body slumped in an untidy sprawl, limbs akimbo, except for the one still in Khan’s hands.  “Oh fuck, I’m dead.  Just leave me here in peace.”  His lips quirked in a goofy grin at Khan.  “Wow.”

 

Khan gave a little purr and allowed himself to float forward, finally letting go of Jim's feet. "Don't be dead." He whispered, pressing a few kisses to his hips, hand now gently reaching to palm his hip, to hold him once more. "I am glad you enjoyed yourself." He said, kissing him along one side of his neck, licking away a few drops of water. "Shall I carry you to bed now? I think walking is definitely out of the question, now. It would undo all my work."

 

“Yes, please,” Jim said and raised his arms to Khan in a pleading motion.  “Actually, I’m the opposite of dead, except my body can’t move right now.  So, carrying me is the only way I’m going anywhere.”  He play pouted for his lover, eager for the next part.  Being carried around by Khan was exciting, always had been and always would be.

 

"Yes, husband." Khan whispered as he kissed his jaw, taking the man into his arms. It was easy, with the water taking most of his weight, and allowed Khan to position Jim the way he wanted before lifting him out of the water and carrying him away from the hot spring pool. Even with the water dripping off the both of them, Khan was sure-footed and carried Jim with ease back into the bedroom. "I love you." He said as he nuzzled the side of his face, gently laying him out on the bed, though kept his arms around him.

 

“We’re getting the bed all wet,” Jim said and wrapped his arms around his husband more tightly.  But he made no move to get up or in any way impede Khan’s plans.  “What do you plan to do with me now, my loving Noonien?”  He offered himself up implicitly, willing to go and do whatever Khan wanted.  “I’m all yours now.  In your capable hands….and arms.”

 

Without answering, Khan simply demonstrated what was on his mind. Pulling at the edges of the blankets, Khan pulled them over their bodies and dried them off in such a way that ensured they both remained warm, and maybe slightly damp, but no longer dripping. "I would like to spend one more night, under the stars, before we join them." Now that Jim was bundled up, Khan lifted him into his arms again, not minding that a few lengths of fabric were caught over his own shoulder.

 

Once outside, Khan set Jim down in the high grass that had been previously flattened down from all the other times the two of them had slept under the stars. Carefully, so that not too much heat was lost in the process, Khan slipped under the blanket as well and pressed his body in close against Jim. This way, the two of them shared each others body heat, forced together as they were wrapped up in the blanket.

 

“Mmm, I do love the stars.  These stars, especially.  And more so when I am with you,” Jim said and curled tightly around Khan.  He shifted around as much as he could to ensure that he touched his husband everywhere he could.  The skin to skin contact always helped lull him to sleep, and he believed Khan found it soothing, as well.  He settled his head so he could look at the sky and murmured, “This was a great idea, Noonien.  I’m glad the weather’s good enough to let us do this.”  He slid a hand down Khan’s torso to stroke his abdomen, sliding fingers over his six pack.

 

Hooking their ankles, and parting his knees so that their legs could twist together, Khan made a very satisfied noise. He found it very pleasing indeed to have skin pressed against skin, for the length of their entire bodies. With his arms wrapped around Jim's shoulders and back, Khan fisted the inside of the blanket with one hand, ensuring that there were no gaps to let in the cool night air. He gave a little smile as Jim spoke and purred as Jim's hands found their way over his own body.

 

“I thought I’d gotten everything I asked for, everything I wanted when I was given the Enterprise,” Jim mused, curled up and snug with his husband.  “A place I belonged.  People who believed in me.  Direction.  And the stars.”  He fell silent, looking up at the night sky.  “Guess I was wrong, huh?”  He lightly skimmed one finger around the edge of Khan’s navel, playful and teasing.  

 

"No, not wrong at all." Khan pressed his nose against Jim's neck, Jim might have his eyes on the stars overhead, but Khan had his eyes on his lover. "You still have all of those things with the Enterprise." Khan kept his voice low and soft, lips just brushing over skin. "My infusion into your life has not changed that. Though perhaps, it has enhanced it."

 

“That’s what I mean, though.  I never knew I wanted and needed a Noonien.  So, I was wrong.”  Jim smiled and turned his head to meet Khan’s eyes, warmth and affection in his.  “But yes, your addition to my life has definitely enhanced it...that’s not a strong enough word by far for what you’ve ended up meaning to me, Noonien.”  He tilted his head to allow Khan to nuzzle more, knowing again that the subtle gesture of belonging and submission pleased his husband and triggered even more affection.  From the real beginning of their intimacy, he was more than willing to be considered the weaker partner to bolster Khan’s responses and their relationship.   

 

Quietly searching his eyes, Khan agreed. "You have changed my life, Jim. And improved the life I would have otherwise had. It is an honor, to have your love. I am your Noonien. Your loving Noonien." Khan groaned softly, licking at one of his favourite spots against Jim's neck, just under his ear.

 

Jim moaned in time with Khan and settled his head back to a comfortable position on Khan, eyes shutting slowly.  “We’re going to have so much fun together, Noonien.  I can’t wait to get to the next part of our lives together.”  He took a few more deep breaths, inhaling his husband’s comforting presence, and drifted into a light doze, which would deepen into real sleep if not disturbed.  

 

Loyal to his people, or loyal to the cause, Khan also proved himself to be very loyal in his love for Jim Kirk. No matter where he went, or the adventures he encountered, Khan would remain with him. It meant that Jim would have to manage, and maybe some times even temper Khan's intensity, but it also meant having a fierce, devoted, protective, brilliant lover and companion at his side, for the rest of his life.

 

With their body heat trapped under the blanket, limbs intertwined, Khan too began to slip into a drowsy state. He murmured loving words, but settled quietly with Jim in his arms, holding tight to this night together.

~~~~~~~~~

 

Jim ran a last check on the Galileo’s systems and glanced at his co-pilot, Khan, saying, “The ship’s ready for take-off, Noonien.  Are you ready?”  

 

They had spent the morning saying their final goodbyes to Khan’s family, with Jim following always Khan’s lead.  Although they planned to return one day, nobody could predict what might happen in between, if they all would ever see their leader, whom they all obviously loved and respected, again.  If he would really come back from his trip back to the stars with his Starfleet captain.  Jim even read resentment in the eyes of some of Khan’s closest friends, or the one or two augments who had not lost all hope that Khan might tire of his mundane husband.  He met those gazes with strength, but also understanding.  It would be very difficult for him to give up his Noonien again.

 

Khan watched as Jim prepared their course into the computer's guidance system. He double checked everything, quietly to himself, not because he doubted Jim's abilities, but it somehow made everything feel that much more final. His people were letting him go, with the understanding that even out there, somewhere, in the universe, Khan would still look out for them and have their interests close at heart. Not that it made it any less difficult. Khan had been the central part of their lives, for so long. But it was time for that to change. They were to be less dependant upon Khan, and more self sufficient as individuals, while simultaneously building as a community. It would be new for them, an adventure even.

 

Meanwhile, Khan had his own new path to follow. One that kept him partnered with Jim Kirk. Reaching for his hand, Khan was wordless asking for a physical show of support, assurance in their mutual union. "Yes, Jim."

 

Jim reached out to gently take Khan’s hand and said, “Then here we go.  Off into the wild blue yonder.”  He kept their hands joined, even as he started the engines, running through the take-off sequence with practiced ease.  He spoke each part aloud, just as part of his ritual for launching, and watched as the planet’s surface slowly grew smaller below them.  “Would you like one last look over the colony?” he asked.  He would give Noonien all of the time he required for his last farewell, his last look at the people he would leave behind.  

 

Khan watched between his view out the window and on the display screen. The three settlements were made small, so quickly. His people, so few. On a lonely planet. "Please." Khan was then silent for a long time. Even though his people and this star system was far removed from other species, it was good for them. They would be safer out here in isolation, rather then with a neighbouring planet with a culture prepared to exploit or challenge his people and their way of life as they came into their own.

 

As the shuttle began to climb into orbit, Khan whispered a fond and loving good-bye.

 

 


End file.
